>fuck all three
>this kills the hand
The most logical answer would be cat, monkey might be with you but in the end she will still like woman no matter how much dicking she receives, crab might be okay but then she will have the need to stomp on you until you set her straight with your dick.
I couldn't hurt any of them, even if it means I don't get to fuck and marry any of them. I also would happily marry or fuck all of them, they are all wonderful ladies.
Hitagi is the most perfect
the only acceptable answers
Why are people marrying monkey and fucking crab? The other way around is much more logical given their personalities. Monkey even suggests as much to Araragi.
This is correct.
I never understood these. If you're marrying them, doesn't that imply having sex with them too?
So isn't it Kill, Sex or Marry/Sex?
Using that logic...
>Implying crab has no chest
>Implying they won't grow more
>Implying you need cowtits
>Implying cat isn't more of a mess than crab
>Implying the lifelong crab sex won't be 100x better
What's it like being so young son?
>Not killing monkey, fucking cat once then killing her, marrying crab
>All these catfags
All these years I thought I was alone.
Fuck kill marry
Is the wrong answer, monkey will never let you kill crab.
Obviously the only answer is fuck marry marry.
>implying she's not a package deal with monkey
Well it's more like you have to marry crab and get monkey as a mistress.
I'd do it, I'd do it for monkey.
Tell me, why do you like monkey?
I find her pretty annoying, try to change my view
Sexuality and love isn't that cut-and-dry for some people. Given the way Kanbaru acts with Ararararararagi, she at least has exceptional amorous feelings for him, and is possibly bisexual to an extent. It could even be that she's just been so fixated on Crab that she doesn't fully know herself.
Live happily every after
Monkey has clearly shown both romantic and sexual attraction towards multiple females. Her relationship with Araragi is almost entirely one of admiration and they act like best buds. I don't see Monkey being straight for Araragi.
She has the best body
There has also been exactly one guy monkey's age in the entire series and she was shown to be at least somewhat attracted to him so I don't see how you can rule out bi.
It's not her fault the only people Araragi can see are cute girls.
I'm not going to go digging around for the "Kanbaru being naked and sexual around Araragi" gif/webm, but you know the one. Not to mention shit like >>124654113.
You don't do those kinds of things with your best bud, even if you say no homo.
>the best mind
Hanekawa has the best body but Shinobu/Kissshot will eternally be best girl.
and I said Kissshot
> There are people here who unironically like crab
Kanbaru is unambiguously a lesbian. She said outright in her first bakemonogatari story arc that she was willing to be a fuck-cushion for Araragi if by doing so it would break-up him and Hitagi, who she really wants.
Honestly, do you think it's more likely that a full-blown lesbian would actually say that (depriving the girl she loves of a potential mate and giving up any shot of getting with her herself, not to mention having to fuck a dude indefinitely), or that she just wants some AraraD?
Kill the crab. Got nothin' against her, but she's got nothin' on the other two
Fuck the cat. Especially the white cat.
Marry the monkey. She's probably open to the good kind of threesome.
Fuck Monkey, befriend Crab, Marry Cat
Marry Kanako, fuck Nagi, kill Kaede
I can't kill one, that'll be a waste
But then why does she afterwrads always get excited about going out with Araragi and insists on calling them dates?
Marry Cat because she's a doormat who tries too hard so having her as a wife would mean an easy life. You could NEET it up and have her as both the housewife and the breadwinner.
Fuck Monkey because she seems like she would be great in bed but awful relationship material. Great FWB material, though. If she ever gets a girlfriend I wouldn't refuse a threesome with them.
Kill Crab because she's bloody insane and would kill me otherwise.
>Kill Crab because she's bloody insane and would kill me otherwise.
Why do people keep on thinking she's like that? Is liek you just watched 'till Nise
>implying anyone here could kill them
Cat would rip you apart, Crab would cut your throat out, and Monkey would rip your dick off like a celery stalk and throw that shit in the tall grass to never be seen again.
"I think of myself as relatively sexually open"
"Right. To tell you the truth, I was thinking the same thing. If I had met you before I fell for Senjougahara-senpai. It's incredibly rare for me to think such a thing about a member of the opposite sex."
I agree pretty unambiguous.
Cat and Crab
What meme? Isn't the other guy who spew memeshit?
Fuck off. That meme response get old.
Fuck, Pat on head, Take out for Ice Cream
This is objectively wrong. Some of the gayest shit you'll ever see or hear comes from 100% straight guys. Especially in the military or if you're on sports teams. Monkey playfully molesting Araragi means nothing and actually considering how flustered she gets when it comes to actual sexual contact (see Numachi) the fact she has no problem touching Araragi pretty much proves she has no sexual attraction towards him.
Fuck Adult Shinobu
Trash the two lolis. What am I, some pedophile?
But then there would only be pat and ice cream left.
Finally, the right answer
THIS SO MUCH
Fuck Snail, Pat Bat, Take Doll out for ice cream.
The logical answer is marry cat, fuck monkey and kill crab (cuz she would kill you if she notice that you're fucking someone else) also when cat find that you're fucking monkey she will stress and trun to black cat. Fuck black cat.
Bonus: cat will love you even if you fuck the entire zoo.
If everything were posible:
>thread made me want to fap to a Cat doujin
>spent the last couple hours editing one of the pages because I wanted to see all of her beautiful tummy instead of penis/womb x-ray
The effect on my autism has been exquisite.
>Not marrying Kako
What? Can't handle a strong woman with a burning desire, a heart aflame and blood that boils?
Kako honestly sounds like a protagonist when described like that.
She's immortal anyway.
From the deepness, I can agree. But if you really listen to her. She just sounds like a woman trying to be super dramatic and almost solemn in her speech.
Which fits considering what Kako is but still.
The only answer is kill the lesbian, fuck the cat and marry the crab. The cat isn't a valid long term ooption because you'd begin to feel inferior. Even her own parents grew to hate her, because she's 2perfect4me.
Anyway I'll post the uncensored version in case anybody wants it. If I get banned I'll be able to devote more time to seeking employment.
Marry Gahara in middle school
The censors are pretty small for what its worth. Post it if you want.
But for those that want the thing in general with censors
>Kaiki a best
>Monkey a best as well
>Kaiki still best best
Only acceptable answer
I hadn't realized that they come in flavors.
Whatever, not like the thread is the pinnacle of conversation anywhere.
Yes! Delicious grade schooler get.
>ctrl+f "marry cat"
Excellent taste, all of you.
>roll 4 times
>2 times black cat
>2 times white cat
I just want my monkey dammit