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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 109. page
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>meet chick
>hit it off well
>find our shared interests and talk with her about them, she asks lots of questions and helps push the conversation
>next day continue talking
>still going really well, though usually im now the one asking questions and moving the conversation
>day three
>message them, get no reply
every time. I dont get it. Its like theyre...
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>>17779415
girls are fucking retarded and act like children
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>>17779455
well, the last one wasnt exactly a girl soooo...
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>>17779458
No. Exceptions.

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>be me
>31 years old
>my oneitis is my best friend
>loved her since I was 14
>we can talk on the phone for 6+ hours at a time, easily
>confessed my feelings for her and asked her to be my girlfriend eight times between the ages of 16 and 27
>"I just love you as my best friend" all eight times
>been four years since...
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6 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Please move on OP.
Whether you decide to ask her again or not, you've got to accept that a relationship is a two way street. She knows how you feel, and she hasn't made any kind of advance on you which means her feelings haven't changed. You can't force feelings, and the sooner you move on and start meeting other girls the sooner you'll realize that you can have an intimate emotional connection with someone else.

I pined for a oneitis who was my best friend from 14-20, until I realized there was no point if she didn't want to make the...
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You need to move on.

Lots of guys have felt what you've felt, where the first girl they fell in love with was the one they tried to obtain for years with no success, and they thought they were proving their love by being persistent.

The reality is that the only thing you're showing is a lack of self respect. You are almost 30 years old and you are trying to get with a girl who's clearly not interested in you. It's been 13 years, and nothing is going to change. In that time you could have found

You need to accept the pain and become a...
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>>17779407
>>17779508

Bad news: I was turned down again.
Good news: She's 31, same as me. She'll probably get desperate soon enough to settle for anyone.

We talk on the phone and hang out in person a lot, but we also talk on Skype. This was one of those times.

Me: hey, Sarah
Sarah: yep? :>
Me: This probably won't come as a surprise to you, but
Me: I still have feelings for you.
Me: I'm guessing you thought I'd moved...
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I have a female friend who I consider pretty close. I notice that sometimes she's just a total bitch to me. She just blatantly ignores me, says she doesn't want to talk to anyone, and things like that. She acts like this a lot, but not toward some people. It honestly hurts my feelings a bit, because she can just be such a bitch during these times. But she didn't always act this way toward me when she was in those moods, and she doesn't with some other people.

Today I asked her if it was something personal. She said it wasn't. I don't believe...
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One time she apologized to me for acting that way sometimes and said she acts how she feels around me because "she trusts me". Well, she also acts like this toward people she clearly doesn't like when she's in a bad mood. Toward some people she does like, she acts kind even when she's in a bad mood.
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>>17779303
>says she doesn't want to talk to anyone
How is that being a total bitch?

>she didn't always act this way toward me when she was in those moods, and she doesn't with some other people.
So she's either being more honest with you because she thinks that you'd understand. Or she's treating you like a little bitch because you ask for it.

>How can I talk about this with her without sounding...
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>>17779303

TL;DR

Just watch this EVERY single fucking day, multiple times a day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

His father would shoot up heroin in front of him when he was a little kid and while he may be eccentric these days, he's 100% with his advice.

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There is 5/10 girl that was in love with me for 5 years. I want to deny her. How to do it ?
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Tell her that you have no feelings for her and are not interested in a relationship. Make it clear, the sooner the better.
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>>17779276
Thanks mate.
>>
Should I kiss her at goodbye, she is Virgin af

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I've saved up $25k USD and I dream of becoming a homeowner someday (soon). However, I don't know where to start at all. I'd like any and all help or tips an anon could provide to someone who is young, poor and wants to be a homeowner within the next year.

Some off the top of my head questions:
Is it unwise to buy a trailer? Is it unwise to buy land with a shitty house on it with the intent to someday expand or build a new, better home?
16 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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halp
>>
>>17779257
>I've saved up $25k USD and I dream of becoming a homeowner someday (soon).

I think you mean you dream of signing a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage soon.

>Is it unwise to buy a trailer?

It is inexpensive to buy a trailer. If that is all you can afford, because you lack the financial stability required to sign a mortgage, which usually have repayment lengths measured in decades, then buy away.

If you have a solid job, however,...
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>>17779707
I live in Orlando and I rent a studio with my brother, but I don't really want to settle here.

I wouldn't call my job that solid, and my family is very poor and so if I fall on my face, I don't exactly have a backup. My credit is also pretty shitty, but my brother has a much better record so maybe we could work out an agreement. The house would be "ours" anyway. Part of the reason I was considering a trailer or some other cheap option is that in the future I may be able to build a...
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How do you learn to take a joke and know when to control your feelings? I am aware that I need to fix it and I need to work on it before I start losing friends. I just get really mad sometimes especially if I'm not cool with someone and they make a joke. Everyone else will laugh it off but of course I gotta get all mad. I hate it. What do you guys do or what has helped you if you've been in that situation
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Give us an example of what was said to you and how you reacted
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>>17779164
>How do you learn to take a joke and know when to control your feelings?

I need to learn to control my feelings? lol, let me tell you a story

hang out with large group of people and three of us are actually single guys, one of my boys gf says why are we hanging out with these losers i heard her say that and look right at her and she busts out laughing she was only kidding, and laughs that i take things to seriously, well you did bring it up in secret to him and you actually...
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>>17779169
It'll be little petty stuff like Im not good with a wrench or that I'm a liberal (I'm not, I'm an Democrat but have Republican views so Idk how that was started) that'll be said to me in our group chat and I'll say something just as petty back to that person and it starts the argument and I'll say stuff I shouldn't say and get mad and upset

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I want some real advice for my problem.
I am currently in my mid 20s but I have suffered from severe brain damage my entire life.
I have severe cognitive impairment, I cannot drive nor can I tie my shoes or anything that requires that sort of mental ability.
I have been able to work at WalMart collecting shopping carts but I was fired for being too slow and incompetent.
If you are wondering how I am so stupid, I had a very high fever as a child that pretty much boiled my brain into retarded mush.
I want to be able to make a living and live on my own, but just...
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you should definitely qualify for social security. and get on the section 8 waiting list immediately. when those eventually comes through you should be able to afford your own place.
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>>17779157
you could take acetylcholine supplements and rebuild ur brain back that way.
>>
Wow, its people like OP that I am actually okay with using my tax dollars on for welfare.

Truly sorry for you, friend. You seem pretty cognitive mentally, is it just your physical funtions that lack?

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I have a co worker who is fucking creepy and I don't know what is up with him, if he is mentally ill or what. Everyone gets along with him ok, he annoys me because if you start to talk about something, he usually will suddenly give you a huge explanation about what you're talking about like its a compulsion... but this isn't the weird thing about him. He has odd, strange behaviours... its not just me who notices them... he won't swat flies and flinches whenever someone does, even if he has his back turned and its caught relatively quietly... he seems to be...
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>>17779105
Blah blah trivial horseshit
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>>17779105
Hello /x/, how are the children doing?
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>>>/x/

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I'm babyfaced as fuck. I'm not ugly, I just look like a teenager despite being 23.

The only girls that show interest are JB who are off limits and milfs looking for legal /ss/.

What the fuck should I do?
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>>17779078
You'll look better than the other guys when you reach your 30s and 40s

For now just get fit.
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>>17779078

18 and 19 isn't jailbait, my man.

neither is 16 or 17 if your state allows that sort of thing.
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>>17779078
enjoy it while it lasts
also start plowing some milfs and get a suga mama

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What are you supposed to say when someone asks you "what's new?" and nothing's new because you've been a stagnant piece of shit for the past several years?
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They will never know the pain of not living a life.
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>>17779065
In that case your problem isn't the answer to their question. How the fuck did you even manage to stagnate for couple years?
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>>17779065

It's a shitty question that I hate asking and being asked, but it's just kind of a sound social introduction kind of greeting. Who knows, maybe something's new? Even if something isn't new, I try to come up with something reasonably creative to get the conversation started. Talk a new game, movie, something like that.

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Since last time a lot of people had questions here's another run. Ask anything about mental health.
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>>17779060
How do I tell if emotional trauma has caused lasting damage?
>>
>>17779060
Why don't you get a real job as a neurologist?
>>
>>17779094
Not that as much into neurology as into psych. I work on the unit for the criminally insane. Never gets boring.
>>17779084
If you avoid or do certain things because of the trauma it did leave a mark. How you handle it will determine if it's just a lesson or a serious condition.

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First off sorry to disappoint but I don't need help with anything concerning dating or dealing with the opposite sex. I know that's mostly what you all care about.
Anyways I've had problems with depression(kinda) and anxiety/derealization(mostly) for the past five years on and off. It varies, the longest I've gone without experiencing anything too bad is about a year and a half in 2013-2014.
Anyways the details of everything I guess aren't that important but the past few months I hadn't been getting enough sleep because of school and work...
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It's only going to get worse if you keep loosing sleep. This is really bad, it's not like staying up a couple of nights and then "catching up" the following days. It's worse than starving yourself, worse than being dehydrated. Whatever you're doing with your life right now is not worth it. If you have to quit your job to get enough sleep do it. You can find something with fewer hours. Sounds like you're also developing some minor insomnia so the sooner you start sleeping properly the better. Make a sleep schedule and keep to it.
>>
>First off sorry to disappoint but I don't need help with anything concerning dating or dealing with the opposite sex. I know that's mostly what you all care about.
>Anyways I've had problems with depression...
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>>17779077
Im trying man
I cut back a lot on my hours and I finished my labs for school so now I really only have to do shit three days out of the week. It does seem like I've started a runaway snowball effect for sure I'm just trying to reverse it before I wind up in the nut house.
Been avoiding caffeine, quit drinking(which blows). I've been thinking of trying 5-htp as I've read lack of sleep causes serotonin problems which cause sleep problems. I use to use it the day after I rolled until I quit...
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What colleges should I apply to with a degree in law enforcement? Criminology, criminal justice, police science, whatever gets me into the Police or FBI down the road.

I have a 29 ACT and 3.75gpa first 3 years of high school, hauling ass right now trying to keep it up. Lots of AP classes. Live in Wisconsin but could go anywhere that takes me.

Please guys your my only hope.
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>>17778984
first:
nobody cares about highschool gpa
its all sat/act, class rank, and extracurriculars
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>>17778991
second:
you're underageB&
fuck off
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>>17778997
I'm 18

>>17778991
I did sports I guess and my school doesn't rank

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WOYM #7 .

Got a problem? I can help. This is the 7th edition, an advice thread not limited to any topic, but I do specialize in motivation, confidence, relationships and self-discipline.

Let's get it going.
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>>17778973
I want a girl to peg me

What is the secret handshake to let girls know I want this
>>
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said goodbye to the girl i've had feelings for for the past 2 years. shes with someone else and pregnant but i never stopped thinking about her. i said goodbye and that was it. wanted to say so many other things but my mind was blank. i feel like dying.
>>
>>17778989

Probably just post on CL or fetlife or some shit that's probably the best demographic to appeal to if you are into that kind of degenerate shit.

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I like this female friend of mine. We've been friends for 6 years now. We are both 25.

I'm pretty sure she reciprocates. We are now closer than ever: she invites me to go out with her, we laugh a lot together, we get along great, etc.

My ONLY question is what's the best way to break the barrier. I do not want advice that's not related to this specifically.

I'm thinking of just kissing her out of the blue after a couple of beers. Is this the best approach?

Worse case scenario, an awkward moment arises, or she slaps me or something...
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>>17778963
For the record. With one friend I kinda "suggested" that I wanted to be with her, very awkwardly. She was disoriented at first. But then she texted me saying that she wanted too.

With the other one, I kissed her out of the blue, but it was the wrong scenario and situation (we were both sober, watching a movie at my house). It was awkward as fuck.

But both worked.

I just want to do this same thing, but less autistically. I want to know if anyone has an advice.
>>
>>17778963
>>17778981

I think the kiss will be better if you manage to do it in an optimal situation. Most women prefer non-verbal communication in romance.
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>>17778992
Thanks, breh. This was the kind of reinforcement I needed.

By optimal situation I assume you mean a little bit drunk, laughing a bit, yet intimate.

I have this moments with her that I thought "now it's the time" but chickened off. Next time, I won't let it pass.

Hi guys, this my 1st time on /adv/, good evening to everyone.

I need (guess what) an advice.

You see, I plan to register for an internship in the UK for a company EDF Energy. They offer their internships in Barnwood in England (BW) and East Kilbride in Scotalnd (EK).

Now, I realize that you probably don't know exactly how expensive these towns are but can you give me some advice on which town should I focus getting into considering limited money supply xD

Take a note that salary is £16,500 pro rata per annum and I ought to be staying in the...
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I can only talk about East Kilbride since am from near there, it's entirely dependent upon the area within the town whether it's a shitehole or not, and East Kilbride's shite holes are proper shiteholes, however it is not a terribly expensive place and it isn't actually that close to Edinburgh in regards to what is considered close in the UK. It is close to Glasgow though which has loads of connections to East Kilbride transport wise. You'd be able to live off £800 a month (rent, bills, food) if you plan right in both EK and surrounding areas, throw...
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>>17778940
East Kilbride is near Glasgow, not Edinburgh.

Also, the English dislike foreigners far more than the Scots do.
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>>17779026
Thank you for the reply.

I want to ask one more thing. How expensive is Glasgow and East Kilbride in terms of night life?
Also, I am generally interested in smoking laws. Are there pubs where you can smoke inside? When I was in London and Oxford last year, I couldn't find any pubs where smoking was allowed, not even pubs where they have separated space for smokers.

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I have an extreme fear of women and desperately crave their approval.

How do I overcome this?
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Talk to one everyday
It'll b hard but it'll get easier
It's a skill
Imagine your EXP meter going up each time you talk to a ho


Expect nothing from the talk. Just the act of talking is +10exp
>>
>>17778873
Based answer. I was going to ask the same thing, I can barely stand to talk to people I'm attracted to. And God deliver me from strangers, public meetings and family reunions.
>>
>>17778866
Realize that they are people pretty much like you but with a different set of genitals. Girls shit and fart too.

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How do I calm the fuck down?

I fell in love with somebody who doesn't love me back. A friend of mine became their close fuck buddy and it hurts me so much.

I still speak to her and stuff.

But I'm so fucking hurt. Unbelievably hurt.

I don't want to be alive.
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>>17778855
Stop talking to her
>>
Ya that's gonna hurt

Exercise and asap stick your dick in anything else
It'll make your feelings be less
>>
>>17778863
I tried that but it hurts losing what little I have. Hurts too much.

>>17778870
I know I should, but I don't want to look for somebody else.

I need to just see her as a friend, but it's fucking impossible to shake these feelings.

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The classic situation

>want love and affection: a human desire
>not financially and/or psychologically prepared
>start a difficult relationship
>it fails
>start a difficult relationship
>it fails
>start a difficult relationship
>et cetera

Is there any escape from this hell, or should I embrace it? I am a...
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>>17778799
What do you mean by difficult relationship?
>>
>not financially and/or psychologically prepared

Wtf u answered ur own question bitch
>>
>>17778815
like what happens when you don't have a good amount of money and/or psychological wellness

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I'm getting more normal and I don't know how to handle this, I don't want to leave 4chan, but I don't want to fuck it up because some normiefag decided to reply. How can I help my self become more of a basement dweller?
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>>17778761
just stop talking to your normal friends. start watching anime or something. it should all come naturally after that.
>>
Watch more porn and anime
>>
>>17778761
go get some awkward hobbies. maybe start smoking weed 24/7. go for repression of your problems. there will come a point where u will feel antisocial again. and if u keep going there u might reach the point of no return. stop talking 2 girls 2.

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>>lift for a year and focus on school with no gf
>>best friend hates her boyfriend more and more over this time period for being a piece of shit
>>from what I can understand they had an essentially loveless relationship, probably because he started dating her when she was 17 and he was 23 and he was just her gay ass high school bf.
>>She's a muslim girl and wears hijab sometimes, she's loyal and a great person to hang with. She'd...
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>>17778742
Listen to some Bill Withers, Smokey Robinson, Frank Sinatra, and some Otis Redding.
>>
Goddam... You need to DESTROY HER, anon... SEXUALLY! Oh my goddddddddd stick it in there and UNF UNF UNF UNF DE LA UNF UNF UNF !

Honestly, you started your story by comparing yourself to her ex. The first thing you need to do is establish an identity separate from him. Be the best you that you can be. If you start trying to to do what he did and try to do it better, you will either succeed or fail. When you blaze new trails, you can only succeed.
>>
>>17778742
From what it sounds like if you already made out with her and you've known her for awhile it'll be really hard to fuck up.

Probably the only thing to make it awkward is whip your dick out

Just like hold her hand and do some other cute shit and you'll be good

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I have a vagina. I can only get aroused with porn, not foreplay. And if I watch porn with someone there before having sex I don't get aroused because I'm used to being alone.

Am I fucked? Like, is there anything I can do to reverse the damage of a decade of being untouched and forced to resort to porn?
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Yea
Stop watching porn for a month and report back

When that fails, give up and binge on porn
>>
>>17778705
it's time to stop watching porn

Please
>>
>>17778708
>>17778709

I tried. I didn't watch porn or masturbate for almost a year

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Hey /adv/,
my mother passed away shortly after having me. She rejected chemotherapy during the pregnancy as it would have possibly harmed me and when she did get on it post-pregnancy her body or the cancer didn't react to it properly.

I was aware of this from a very early age on and my dad did raise me very well on his own (with help from our family) and growing up I never really felt overly depressed. Yes I didn't have a mother growing up, but there was no huge pain associated with it for some reason.
My family would tell me many things about her and...
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>>17778694
Look, it was you or her, and she choose to sacrifice herself for you. She gave you your life, so don't fucking waste what she gave you moping. What happened happened, and you can't change it. So if you love your mother, live your life to the fullest extent. That's what she would have wanted.
>>
>>17778694

You never knew your mom so you didn't feel the need to grieve her death. The video suddenly made her "real" to you and now you're feeling the loss. Once it's there, grief can last a lifetime.

You're going to be butthurt for the next several weeks, that's all I know
>>
>>17779503
this anon said it best

sorry for your troubles OP

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So my cousin lives with us (mom, dad, little sibling and me) since three years ago if I'm not mistaken because she's going to university and she's from a rural area. This is her last semester. I now go to uni too (I'm one year and a half younger than her).

I'm really lazy and she's hard-working. I guess you can see where I'm going with this. She helps with the housework more than me, and I like videogames and procrastinate a lot, although she is not perfect and my mom knows this. She acknowledges her flaws (she's sometimes lazy...
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Does this end in some incest stuff, I'm getting bored
>>
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(cont.)
...but it bothers me when she greets my father.
And when they talk to each other. Or when she asks him for help with the computer or something.
The final straw was when, last Sunday, he made breakfast for himself, my little sibling and my cousin. Spaghetti from the previous day (my birthday) and eggs. I got up a little earlier than usual and I thought that one of those plates was mine. Nope, turns out it was for them. Why didn't he make breakfast for me too? Because he never knows when I'm going to get up in the morning. Bullshit, when I come home...
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>>
>>17778688
Well be ready to get bored to death, my man

>>17778690
(cont.)
Anyways, right now my problem is that I'm jealous of her relationship with my father.

We don't talk much to each other anymore, because recently for some reason it's been more difficult for me to talk to him, more than ever, even if I just want to tell him about mundane shit like the news or random trivia. Yesterday I fucking cried after quietly telling him "thanks"...
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So I am a 21 yr old.in US citezen so im legally allowed to drink

My mother found my liquor cache and I know she doesn't.like it when I drink or anyone we knows does because her brother and a lot of her family were alchoholics. So naturally, she was pissed when she found it. What do? How should I proceed? She wants me to not drink ever again and throw away my liquor, but I'm not fucking doing that shit. I just don't know what go you guys think?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Be like I understand why you don't want me too because of yo family and shit but I ain't like that at all yo

I won't drink around you mami but I am old enough to have this
>>
How much and how often do you drink?
>>
She's just worried. So please understand that

File: trail_unrelated.jpg (105 KB, 273x275) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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How do you show your ex the life changes you've made?

She deleted me on all social media and didn't answer the one text I sent after the break up which was about a month ago.
I'm interested in trying to get back together but I want to show her I'm better than before.
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17778599

you dont. if she had any interests she would have at least responded.
>>
You shouldn't have texted first
Now u for sure fuked

It's fine exs getting back together is probably like the greatest human want but worse idea in practice
>>
>>17778614
It was poor timing when I did, almost immediately after the break up. Didn't give her the space she needed and I understand why she didn't respond.

File: physics degree.png (77 KB, 640x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Is a physics degree a meme or is it actually good?
17 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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No degree is a ticket to a job with a high salary. A degree is what you make of it.
>>
a good degree in a hard subject demonstrates commitment and intelligence, this is what employers look for. i work for a software company and we often hire physics phds with zero programming experience because they have shown they have the aptitude to teach themselves
>>
>>17778590
Just be an engineer. That's where most physics majors end up anyway.

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Hello,
This is going to be a rant but you can also just read the quote in the pic and offer a solution.

I'm a 21 year old NEET
In the past 6 months I've decided that it's time for me to pursue something but I have been parylyzed by choice. I truly believe that whatever I set my mind to is accomplished and I set the bar extremely high for myself. I'm just not sure what I want the goal to be, but I know Im going to be massively successful in whatever I do. I've wanted to start a business, I've wanted to start streaming games, I've...
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18 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17778573
>How do I know what to do Shoot for?

Your head
>>
>>17778577
That's my escape plan
>>
>>17778577
>>17778598
make sure you do your balls first so no one can harvest your seed after the fact

just in case

File: 1478753452128.jpg (103 KB, 600x600) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hey /adv/ I'm a 20 year old repeat college dropout druggie. Recently I placed an order for a lot of bud, and some pipes, but but then I remembered my poor parents. The faith they had in me, the expectations. Can someone walk me through this please. I've never felt this overwhelming feeling before.

I regret wasting what little money I had on pot, can't cancel the order.

I'm seriously considering not smoking it even though I feel like shit 99 percent of the time. I don't even smoke heavy.

Help.
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Sell it for more when you get it
>>
>>17778542
there is nothing wrong with consuming cannabis. there is something wrong with blaming your problems on anything but yourself.
>>
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>>17778583
What do I do walk up to some strangers and say hey inject this plant?

>>17778583
Maybe that's what's been wrong with me.

Even If someone is mentally ill they are still responsible, and will be held accountable for their actions. Even if I'm bipolar or whatever the diagnosis ends up being again I have to find what works for me in education.

I'm still wondering why I feel this way. Maybe it's because I don't have the desire to do my current work. Or rather a deep distaste exists for it.

Ignore the pic needed something to cheer me up.

File: image.jpg (47 KB, 800x450) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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This girl is playing hard to get, and frankly it's kind of turnig me off, what do? I'll approach a table she's sitting at with friends amd she'll pretend I'm not there until I speak directly to her. She'll even shoot glances and such, and she does this just about everywhere. She never tells me what she's up to or invites me places, but she'll usually accept if I invite her to do something. She'll act flirtatious and physical some days, and she'll act cold and busy other days. She also seems low key depressed and drinks sometimes; I don't drink but I can get pretty depressed myself like rn. We're also lazy fucks and it's how we bonded. Should I even bother with this, my brain is attracted and she's fun to talk with, but holy fuck if it isn't a gigantic effort to figure her out. I can't stop thinking about her.
12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17778501

Are you even sure she likes you? Shouldn't be so hard man, something between you two isn't working.
>>
>>17778522
I'm not 100% but she wanted me to grab onto her in the pool, she looks at me WAY more than a human being should be, she laughs at just about everything I say, we tease eachother constantly, she compares herself to me all the time, but she just seems super fucking awkward around me and it's like she's ignoring me. I don't understand it
>>
>>17778602
flirt with her when she's drunk


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