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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 157. page
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>be me in uni back in august when school had just started
>meet this girl in my class, she's my type in literally every regard, hot as fuck, studies engineering etc.
>crush hard on her
>about 2 weeks after first meeting her we hook up
>she seems super into me the entire night when we hooked up, being super physical with me the entire time
>apparently there's this other guy who's...
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Try to find a situation where you both have to talk again or are in the near vicinity. Play it cool and be friendly(to test the waters). If at the time she wasnt ready for something she may have a) gotten over it through time b) gotten back with the guy she was into or (lets hope its not this option) c) trying to find an excuse to blow you off and not have to keep seeing you. Thtas why you have to test the waters and be careful. Be a friend and see where it can take you, but never lose the illusion that you are an object of covet and desire too. You also have standards and you...
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>>17746603
thanks for the tips, and it's pretty much what I'd planned on doing; find some situation where I'll bump into her and then chat with her very relaxed and cool and seem a bit unattainable and get her to chase a bit

that being said
>There are more fishes in the sea
I thought this too and I've been meeting girls every weekend since august, as I mentioned slept with three of them, even went on a second date with one of those, but I'm still crushing...
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>>17746585
If you could fuck three girls since you're already over it

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Does anyone else have a hard time texting and messaging in general? I get told that I'm great face to face with people and I believe it but when it comes to messaging people I get stressed out unless I know them really well and even than I just use it to meet up in person. When I text I over analyze everything and feel like all my social skill go out the window. Does anyone else feel the same way?
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>>17746537
Texting should be exactly like speaking. If they know you in person that's bonus points because they can fill in the blanks with your personality.
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>>17746537
Bump
>>
i have the same problem. I can talk to girls irl but i'm terrified of having to message one. i think part of it is that you don't have to respond instantly and its harder to show emotions. i know this isnt any help im sorry

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Waiting to start my new job here in California, bored, long story short got the idea to save up money and travel to and live in Sweden for around 6mon-1yr in the future. Have fun, engage in Swedish nightlife, and most importantly mingle with gorgeous Swedish women. Anyway.

I have access to a euro passport, (Italy), so I figure that might make things easier. What I want to know, is if anyone else has done something similar and could share their experiences, and enlighten me as to how feasible such a thing is.

Cheers
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>>17745267
I hear parts of Malmo are really friendly and diverse

Lots of expats
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You're right that you need the euro passport. Make sure to actually have it. Otherwise you can only stay 3 months.
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>>17745379
Yeah, I have some Italian heritage so I'm looking into taking advantage of the citizenship opportunity they offer for descendants of Italian citizens

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took fixing computer course job in collage. did poorly c and ds. should i change my career.
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>>17745264


I took a computer repair course in college and my grades were sub-par. What should I do? Should I change careers?


That is what your statement should look like if you are at a college level. I don't know what to tell you.
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>>17745264
Why did you do badly? Because you didn't understand the material or because you didn't put in the effort?
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>>17745624
i tried my hardest. i even studied

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i am very interested in manipulating people. anyone knows books/information/ etc. about reading people, manipulation etc.?
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Manipulating them to do what?
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>>17743473
I've encountered countless people who've tried to manipulate me or claim to be a sociopath. It all catches up to then eventually, and damn does it feel good. The key to not being manipulated is to not give the person the perception that you can be manipulated. I want to bitch slap your dumb ass, but life will do that to you if you continue down this road.
>>
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

Worked for Charles Manson

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My girlfriend and me are both 31 and virgins. When I wanted to have sex with her and told her a few times, she said that she needs time because she is still a virgin. As far as I can tell, she thinks that I'm fairly experienced. Should I tell her that I'm also a virgin?
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>>17742615
>31
>virgin
Tell her that she isnt getting any younger and that she is basically spoiling a beautiful experience for some unknown reason.

Do you know why she wants to wait?
>>
OP here. Please be gentle everyone, I know it's strange to be virgins at 31, but we're both neither ugly nor crazy.

When I asked her for reasons, she gave me two. One was that she's irrationally afraid of getting pregnant (which I don't want her to be either) and the other is that she thinks it's going to hurt.
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>>17742615
Bruh how are you even a virgin at that age. You both are old enough, the time is now. I think you should just tell her, she might feel a bit better and open up.

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I've noticed a recurrent behavior that consists in being negative, and overall bitter, especially when it comes to relationships. Very often i'll read opinions like
>women are sluts
>women will never date you or me because you're not Chad/a black guy
>women should stay virgins until marriage but that doesn't apply to men
>women will use you so don't have feelings for them
>if you have an SO, you're...
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Frustration probably. I don't post the type of things you mentioned, but I also recently had limpdick ruin my chance to lose my virginity for the third time in a row. I'd imagine that if you keep taking failures like that, eventually you're going to become jaded and cynical. I would be lying if I said I didn't believe that it will eventually happen to me if I don't get it right after X amount of times.
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>>17740350
It all makes sense when you think most people here, myself included, have been outcasts since probably early childhood.

Since then it's a slippery slope as you associate socializing with bad feelings, and you're bad at it because you don't do it etc etc

t. Currently working on it w/ a therapist
>>
Because we've all been seriously hurt by women and it's made us bitter and hateful.

You think I want to feel like this? All i fucking want is a girl to hold in my arms to make me feel alive again. I've done almost everything I can to get a girlfriend, worked out, lost weight, gained weight, dressed different, you fucking name it. But after all failure and no success it eats at me because I can't ignore the idea of having a girlfriend. Im so fucking lonely, but no one gives me a chance, and unfortunately there arent many girls that feel the same and...
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>live on a co-ed house with about 15 other people
>got sort of involved with a girl that lives here (some hand holding, putting my arm around her, head in her lap, etc)
>told me early on that she isn't in a good place for a relationship (emotionally, work wise, school wise, etc)
>decided to try being friends a few weeks ago
>last week the hand holding, putting my arm around her, and head in lap stuff happened again organically


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>I don't have a question
was machst du anon
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>>17747516

>>But it's also possible that she lied to me about not wanting to be in a relationship or involved with another person.

No she didn't - holding hands and cuddling and making out and spooning and even sucking cock/fucking don't equal "relationship" or "being involved" with someone. She's telling you that she doesn't want to date/be exclusive with you. That could mean that she doesn't want to mess with boys period or it could...
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>>17747531
Well she told me there was no one else period. That's where it becomes a lie.

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Hey, /adv/. I'm wanting to move out soon. I can't quite afford to live on my own so it'll likely be with a roommate.

Any advice for roommating? Just anything that comes to mind? What to look out for? Dos/Don'ts? Things you wish you had known.

Just anything you find important if someone you knew were to get a roommate that someone who's never done it before might overlook.
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Even if you're morally okay with pot/tobacco, keep in mind that that shit smells horrible and it'll get on everything you own, regardless of where your stuff is in relation to your roommate.
>>
you will likely not have a good roommate if they are randoms. if you have friends that can do this with you, much better, but even then it can be hard to live with people.

don't let your roommate get away with shit that you both agreed on not doing. if somebody disregards an agreement you've had (even if only verbal), make sure they know you are paying attention and are not happy about it.
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>>17747318
I've been thinking about this. I myself don't smoke pot or have anything against it, but if I were to live with someone, I think I'd prefer they not smoke it around me. It smells horrible.

>>17747324
Unfortunately, no friends. Everyone around here is mostly a young professionals.

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So I've been interested in starting vlogs on my youtube channel. Since I don't have expensive equipment, I'm gonna be using my phone. Any tips?
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If you're really insisting on doing this, get some sort of stabilising equipment
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>>17747271
Like a tripod?
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>>17747277
Clearly you know too little to make vlogs

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I need names for a cake shop. She is Amy and she works there. Any suggestions?
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>>
caked in the balls
top cake
cake it till you make it
i fucking love cake
>>
Bun in the Oven
Treat Yo Self
Sugar Cake
Frosted Hearts
Fuzzy [cute animal] Bakery

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Is the support /pol/ has for Donald Trump genuine or is everyone just memeing eachother? Legit question
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>>17747241

a little bit of both desu
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>>17747241
deus vult
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I'm in a long distance relationship and I want to break up but whenever I try to call her I pussy out. How terrible would I be if I ended it via text and how should I do it if I do?
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Don't end it via text man. Call her and tell her the truth, no matter how much it sucks. If you feel that you'd be better off alone, then so be it.
>>
don't do it via text for their sake. i've been broken up with twice via text. its fucking shitty. unless they're abusive assholes, do them this decency. they are still human beings.
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Call her and end it
I'm in the same sit rite now except I love her and I think she loves me its gr8

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Doctors won't take me seriously when I say my breasts need a scan because of an indentation/dimple that wasn't there before

Now it's gotten worse.

How do I deal with this anxiety?
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What kind of dumb fucking doctors do you go to?
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>>17747184
:(
>>
Go to another doctor

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How do I stop feeling so uncomfortable around a friend?
I've known him for a few years, he's probably the only person I ever even considered a friend but for the last few months I've just been uncomfortable around him.
Maybe its because he got his life in order, hell even got a relationship now, but every time I talk to him my depression just gets worse. I don't even know what the fuck I'm feeling, I used to have all this shit just beat down, I thought I had control over it and now I don't know what to even call it.
I'm scared to even bring this up around him because he knows me as some emotionless rock and that used to work out, plus I don't want to make him uncomfortable or hate me.
I'm really stressed out about this, I actually had an anxiety attack while talking to him and I don't know why just talking makes me feel like this. He's the only person to ever tolerate me for so long, I don't want to fuck up. The fuck is wrong with me?
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suck his dick, that's a great ice breaker
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>>17747160
Honestly I probably would, but thats just damage from other unfortunate shit.
>>
Does nobody got some advice?

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Ok so I had a situation with a new female employee, I myself had just started there 2 1/2 months ago. Regardless me and this new employee where throwing verbal threats to each other (she started it but wasn't the only one). She was close to getting off he clock when this happened. During the hike situation she was calling her "click" telling them I was talking bad about them... well 2 hours later after she had originally left she came back in with a group of people wearing mask and took a swing at me, then walked out, I couldn't do anything in return because...
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>>17747146
I worked at walmart for 4 years, 2 years as a manager. If you were threatening violence you'll likely both be fired, or maybe only you if you wrote a statement saying that's what you did, and she doesn't admit to it. If there are no witnessess and she doesn't admit to doing anything, she basically can't get in trouble. If you admitted to it, you can get in trouble.
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>>17747164
Wait what? I have a witness but the only thing he reported was that we were play fighting and I don't think she ever got to say her side, but regardless I started looking for another job, since this investigation is taking way to long
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>>17747169
Yeah, never write a statement saying you did anything wrong. Especially, if the other person doesn't admit to it, there's basically nothing they can do. But since you admitted to doing something wrong, then you get in trouble. If there are no witnessess, and it's not something they can see from cameras, then lie. Telling the truth will only get you fired at walmart. In fact, that's literally how i got fired from there.

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I'm good talking to girl but bad texting on the phone, give advice for this.

Lets try this: a girl text you on the phone
>Hi, how are you?
Text me like i'm a girl you know
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>>17747125
>Hey mom, I'm good. How have you been?
>>
Great. I only fell on my face a couple times today lol. How are you?
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>>17747130
>Could you plis get your ass here and clean the fucking room and stop using the fucking computer all day Michael!!!

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>Shy girl seems really into me
>Shy myself, don't know how to act
>She's flung away beta orbiters to talk to me
>I still just stand there scared to even make eye contact

The fuck do I do? I have no skill with this and she always looks at me like she's waiting for a reaction from me. Even her friends seem to be in on it. I'm too scared to walk up and talk to her on occasion.
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Please help your local retard out :(
>>
It doesn't matter that you don't have skills on this. Important thing is you just actually say something to her and get more used to talking to females.

Sounds to me that this is a perfect opportunity and who knows, you might even end up with a qt gf. At worst nothing happens and you move on knowing someone was interested in you.
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>>17747185
I have been talking to her more since we were kinda forced to talk to one another, and she's gotten braver I think. I just have no idea how to convey my interest other than asking her out, which I don't know if I'm ready form if she's ready for.

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So..before I go into the long story of what's going on here, I need a Spanish-English translator.

Anyone out there able to help me immediately with the translation of a few phrases?
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i speak both languages, what do you need
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>>17747040

Tu eres amiga de el x fabor ya no quiero saber de el el a echo demasiado daño asi k no mas x su culpa ella no esta bien tubo toda la culpa de todo k ella lo dejara asi que x fabor ya vasta saber de el k haga su vida y deje a gio hacer su vida
Y no sigas queriendo saber de gio a traves mio para k le digas a Alex sobre su vida
ella te dice esto?

No yo vi el cambio cuando ella se alejo de el
Asi k ya deja de querer saber de su vida

translation of well, that.
>>
By the way, story behind all of this and that is longer than anyone knows but I can explain all of it pretty clearly.

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im depressed, i have no social skills even if i try talking to people i just feel like a sperg and its just so fucking exhausting to hold a conversation. like its a chore. nothing interests me, nothing ever has. the only time i felt like i was ok was when i was a kid, because no one really cares when theyre that young anyway. but ive realized that something is wrong with me, i feel so off. i dont feel normal. i dropped out of hs, stay in my room all fucking day, sleep through the day, hardly ever come in contact with people outside of my family unless i have to. and i just dont see the point of trying anymore when i know i will always be...like a sperg around other people. ex broke up with me for someone who didnt act like a sperg and actually had a life, then breaks up with her because shes a dopehead and gets back with me cause im just a fucking backup, breaks up with me 1 day later to be with her. this all sucks, everything fucking sucks
how can i turn my life around and how can i not be this way without trying not to? i just wanna be myself but be comfortable with it

i have ptsd, extreme social anxiety, and probably a depersonalization disorder
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>>17747018
Seek a professional, ask your parents for help if that's an option.
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>>17747026
ive seen psychologists in the past and they never helped. all they do is tell you shit you already know and things youve already tried. its a scam. parents are useless. right now im on these meds called hydroxzine but it doesnt do anything, was prescriped it just to take the edge off of my anxiety but its not like i just have that. i should be on valium or xanax but cant because my doc knows about my drug use in the past

feeling like i should just resort back to heroin. thats the only thing that made me happy
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>>17747048
>feeling like i should just resort back to heroin.
Nah that's a pretty bad idea senpai.

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hey, adv. just need some input
Ex gf left me. 1 month passes by, (no contact etc) and she sends me a message saying "i just want to let you know. that i miss you a lot"
that was yesterday, i did reply to it saying that i miss her as well and she never replied. you guys think i fucked up?
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>>17746963
Hmm. Explain how the relationship and how it ended, then we can determine if your reply fucked you or not.
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>>17746966
it ended because of me not going after her when we would fight. there was no other dude, i didnt cheat on her. just that sole reason
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>>17746991
What we're the fights about, how often did they happen.

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So I accidently ran a school bus stop sign today,when am I getting the ticket? I was driving and the evening sun was in my eye and the scool bus blended in. There were no kids out yet but I stopped right away once he beeped and drived off since I was already passed him. I need advice
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>>17746962
Bus driver always get pissed and writes your license plate down.
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>>17746971
I know that but when will I get the ticket? The next day?
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>>17746985
No idea when, probably within in the month and it might be about 2 grand, depends where u live.

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Femanon here, going on a date with a boy who has had little attraction to anyone before me due to emotional issues. He views things like dates and kissing pragmatically. How do I convince him these things are nice and release good chemicals/warm him up a bit to romance?
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>>17746941
suck his dick
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>>17746954
He thinks sex is gross
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>>17746959
why are you even bothering with him? this is a major red flag.

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There is this Filipino girl living overseas that I really have a thing for, I am looking to serenade her with a piano song but I couldn't sing if my life depended on it. Does anyone have a good song I can use or any advice on the topic?
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>>17746927
what sarah said by death cab for cutie
>>
Have you seen her irl allready tho?
>>
Yeah I met her irl a couple months ago doing Catholic missionary work. We got on well and played table tennis together. Most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

I'm Asian and my boyfriend is white - we've been dating for about a year or so. For the past month or so he's been setting his steam display pic as generic Asian girls and it really bothers me. I can't pinpoint the reason. I'm an artfag and I'm super big on individuality and basic instagram hoes have always been a pet peeve of mine. Also makes me feel as if he just has yellow fever and that's why he's dating me. I don't know, I've just got so many thoughts. Do I have a right to bring it up? Not in the way that I'm telling...
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>>17746921
Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and have an honest conversation.

It sounds like he has a case of the fever but don't jump to conclusions until you've heard his side of it.
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>he's been setting his steam display pic as generic Asian girls
Well that's not normal
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>>17746921
based on that alone he sounds gross t b h
for real though if it bothers you, bring it up. it shouldn't be that big of a deal for him to just use other shit.

but most guys would probably make it a point of pride to not bend to their girlfriend's will because muh """pussy-whipped""", so if he's shitty, he'll be shitty. if he's cool, he won't be shitty.

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>be me, interested in acting
>my girlfriend, forever supportive, writes a short film starring me
>part of it is ready
>she tells me over and over I'm such an amazing actor
>apparently some other friends who've seen it say the same

How do I get people's honest opinions? My girlfriend always thinks I'm amazing, my friends don't want to hurt my feelings. I think I was non-shitty at best,...
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You'll never get fully honest opinions from people close to you, every business owner, artist and creative employment of any type knows this.

Screen it, send it off, get it up on the internet, whatever is best to get eyes on it and opinions.
>>
>>17746898
i done acting a bit in college because i done media. i was horrible at it but one of my friends was amazing. best thing you are doing is explain to your friends that you want an honest opinion because it is going to worse for you if they lie. only other option is to show people online and get feed back or ask more people you know in real life. i think acting is one of them things, some people have it, some people dont.
>>
To clarify: everyone is HEAPING praise and it's a little fishy. I don't think I was amazing. I felt good when filming it, but when I saw I thought "meh"

>>17746913
I agree. And I think I can definitively say I don't have "it." The majority of student actors are utter trash, so I think people found me amazing just by virtue of not being dogshit

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Hey /adv/, I'm 31 but look 23. I've never had a piercing of any kind or gotten a single tattoo.

I'm considering getting one; well two actually.

I was considering getting: "Knowledge is power" on my forearm and "Ignorance is bliss" on the other.

No faggot cursive fonts, just something tasteful. Not sure which direction or shape I want them to be in yet.

How stupid/cliche/gay is this idea?

Also: No, it won't effect my profession.
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>>17746838
Written tattoos are shit, you can do better than that.
>>
It sounds amazing actually. It will fit your fedora and matching scarf as well.
>>
Tattoo artists actually tend to be extremely skilled artists
Don't waste their talent marking you up with words

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I'm 23 and he's 43. He and my mom split when I was three, and I never liked going over there because he was always working and my stepmom was very cruel. When I was 14 he stole my laptop and I stopped visiting.

I didn't see him again until I was 21. He apologized and said he wanted to patch things up. I forgave him and tried to be part of the family again. But after a couple weeks, he would just stop talking to me. It's been a couple years now, and every so often he'll act like we need to have a relationship, I give it my best and after awhile...
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>>17746756
Do your filial duty. Respond to him when he contacts you, send a communication yourself for every one he sends.

I personally talk to both my parents (they're divorced) at least one a week, each. Feels good, being virtuous and fulfilling my duty to them despite our striking differences
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>>17746756

has he done anything positive for you as of late? given you good advice, bought you something that you needed, helped you work out some problem? If he has, maybe try to be a little more lenient. If he hasn't, straight up tell him him being flaky and not being a good father is not enough for you to put any effort into the relationship.
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>>17746764
Why? He's just going to guilt trip me.

>>17746770
He sometimes gives me money for Christmas/birthday but other than that no. In fact, I can't really think of a single time he ever did anything like that.

He has always kind of expected me to just want a relationship with him. Even when I was a kid he would get really upset if I wouldn't call him but wouldn't return my calls.

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so
i have a huge crush on someone. i never really acted on my feelings on crushes before, because i didnt think it was right. but this time the girl actually seemed like a person i coukd trust.
i am a reserved but direct person who pretends to be outgoing. i really dont talk about my feelings to other people at all.
the problem is that my feelings are very strong towards her, i get really insecure around her, excited, typical teenie crushes- even though im 18. its because i never have done such a thing before.
so ive asked her out. she didnt give me a real reply...
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i also told her how i feel about her, that shes really intelligent without forcing it, that i actually only know her from class, that shes unfunny but has a funny way (cant describe it ), that shes remindig me of my mother, that she has huge tits and a big ass and that i feel like i can somehow relate to her, because she has similiar interests and that ahe should be kinda honoured that i like her this much, considering i never really try to hit on girls, because of religious reasons
basically, i spilled spaghetti pretty fucking hard
she apologised and said she didnt want to fish for compliments (i kept on using insulting language during my autistic spaghetti episode), that she didnt want me to tell her my feelings forcefully and that she doesnt know what to say.
i told her to delete the messages. most of our communication (90%) up until now was electronic.
i felt ashamed to just tell her my feelings like this, so i blocked her the next day. but then i stopped feeling ashamed and deblocked her the next day, after ignoring her at school.
today, we met at school again. i tried to avoid her, but then forced myself talk to her about what happebed.i reiterated what i told her via chat. she told me that she didnt think that it was embarassing. and that she thought it was kinda weird that i wanted to go out with her at night. i asked her again: i really want to get to know you. i know that you dont feel the samd about me.
she thought about me, then reluctantly said that someone else already tried the same with her, and that it didnt work out. but in a very calm voice. i noticed that she felt uncomfortable.after a while of thinking again she said that she didnt want to give me any false hope and that its better not to try
i said ok and went home. i messaged her another really spaghetti like message, in which i told her that i dont love her, and only really like her, that i wont stop trying until i hear a definite no and i will try it, even if it has a 0.1% chance of working
>>
i also told her that i think that shes afraid of talking about her feelings, and that i might have the wrong impression about her
and that she definetly has a wrong impression of me
i finished it with saying that i apologise for stressing her out, making her feel uncomfortable and annoying her
i finally offered her that, if there is no chance of this ever working out, i will stop messaging her now and treat her like everybody else at school. she just has to ignore my message and i will immediately do so.
she replied, saying that i am an interesting person and that she doesnt feel the same about me and doesnt know if that will change in the near future. she also told me that she tried going out with someone else whose feelings she didnt reciprocate, just to see if that would change, and that it didnt work out and that she ended up hurting him unwillingly.
and finally, she implied that i still have a chance by saying that what she told me were her honest feelings. and that she knows that it is ridiculous to get to know me only on a friendly basis.

i already replied to that but i want to hear your unbiased advice. have you ever met a person like that? or is it just the age? shes 17. why cant she just tell me to fuck off? i really dont get it. also, generally advice on acting less insecure around your crush.
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>>17746741
and that she wants to know why i like her, and why i want to get to know her*

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I can't fucking focus at all when trying to study.
My grades are slowly getting worse and I'm falling behind in my uni classes, but even when I plop down in the library and try to force myself to study, my mind ends up wandering and I get distracted so easily. Help?
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Drink coffee.
Or get adderall.
They effectively strive for the same purpose.
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>>17746745
I thought you had to get prescribed for Adderall.

Coffee doesn't really affect me anymore for some reason, I might have gotten too used to the caffeine amount or something.
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>>17746747
get it from someone who does. Or get it on the dark web(whatever is easier). You can also get amphetamine sulphate which is basically the same thing but much cheaper(buy a scale)

it's frustrating that uni is like this, but schooling as a whole(in the us at least) is fucking retarded


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