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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 159. page
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Would you date a hot mom 15 years your senior?
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No
>>
Please provide a sample of said "hot mom"

But, probably.
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>>17746156
I'm a girl but I would not date anyone 15 years older, statistically very unlikely to work out and they get gross and wrinkly and senile way before you. Often these people are emotionally or mentally immature and can't cope with an equal their age and are stunted/vain. Too many red flags.

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>tfw 21
>tfw don't even know how to use a washer and dryer

Please help me. Not even shit posting.
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This makes me feel better about myself.

I'm stupid and don't know how to adult, but I'm not THIS GUY'S level of stupid
>>
https://youtu.be/91Y53nmwpAU
>>
Everyone needs to go out on a bang.

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OK body language experts, please help me analyse this:
I’ve been getting quite close with this girl that I go to uni with, because we basically live right next to each other. But I can’t tell for shit whether she’s just being friendly, or if she’d be interested in dating. Things that I know:
>there was another guy that asked her out, she told him she isn’t interested, but they remained friends.
>we rarely sit next to each other, but when we do, she’s quite sociable and likes to talk.
>She...
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6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Stop overanalyzing and trying to see things that aren't there. If you like her, ask her out.
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>>17746114
The situation is quite delicate, because basically I managed to get myself accepted into a group of friends that existed long before I joined, and I managed to do that partially because I gave the guy she rejected dank advice and I sort of managed to cheer him up. If I ask her out and she says yes, it's still gonna be all flavors of fucked up between me and the lads in that group, but should she say no, it's gonna be awkward between me and her, and I'm fairly sure the guys are gonna turn their backs...
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>>17746112
Anon, she's clearly interested in you. However, don't get to full of yourself. You need to make this relationship develops naturally; that means no asking her out unwarranted. However, you don't want to make her think that YOU are not interested in her. To do that, you need to keep in contact with her and often imply it to her that you'd like to date her, that means doing things that couples often do.

In a situation with a group being involved, this method is proven to work. The estimated...
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How I forget about my exgirlfriend? I love her soo much but she left me, so I want to forget her, but I dont know how to do it. She left one month ago
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>>17746094
Yeah, I know I sound very autistic but she was my first gf and I dont know how to turn the page on
>>
I was with my girl for 4ish months. She was my first love/real gf/first fuck. She was extremely clingy and needy, so I was shocked as a mother fucker when she decided to end it. Anyway, it took me about a week to finally get over it. Acceptance will heal your pain and was the only thing that made me feel better.
Share the story you're leaving out 99% of it.
>>
>>17746133
That seems like a good idea.
Well I will resume it
One day she decided that she wants a open relationship and I accept it, because I loved her so much, but I dont like that type of relationships. She stars to date a guy and I started to felt bad for it. I felt jealous. And I started to ask her help like every day, because I was feeling bad every day.
I felt worsw when my parents arrest me without going out home (yes it sounds childish as fuck. By the way Im 18)
So one day she started to thought that...
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My little brother was taken to the hospital to have his appendix removed and I'm worried as fuck.

Have you guys ever had your appendix removed? How dangerous is it?
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>>17746077

Dangerous only if it does not get removed.
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>>17746106
that's what I've been reading, thanks. I'm just so worried
>>
All surgery carries some risk but the risk involved in an appendix removal is extremely low. The main thing about that operation is they have to make a pretty large cut in your abdomen to get in there, and that will take a few weeks to heal up. Just try to help your bro out as much as you can because he'll be laid out for a while and may be in a fair bit of pain.

and as this guy said>>17746106

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So I've been kind of lonely and depressed recently but have still been watching porn on the reg. I've been feeling down when I do it for some reason, most likely because I'm missing intimacy. Should I stop? Is this unhealthy?
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>>17746073

Wait did 50 Cent really post an anime image online?
>>
>>17746073
Depends on your age. How old are you?
You might feel worst after watching a porn,cuz you realize that it is better to enjoy sex than watching some other dude fucking
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>>17746082
50 cent is a huge weeb like all nigga rappers

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I went to the hairdressers today because my hair was messy as fuck. I decided to go for the style in the picture but the hairdresser left out the triangle bits at the side and I feel it resembles a bowl-cut too much. What should I do?
10 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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You literally got a bowl cut.
Go back to the barbers and get a fade on it and try to revive the haircut
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>>17746128
fades are pleb-y though. Is there nothing else I can do?
>>
Go back and get a number 1, it'll grow back!

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It might be a stupid question but it has been bugging me a lot. How popular are redheaded girls generally speaking? I really want to date one but it's a very uncommon color and I'm worried they will have too many people bothering them already.
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>>17746047
They are generally one of the most wanted types.
>>
The awkward ginger girls with pasty skin, no visible eyebrows/eyelashes and no cute face with a crown of orange frizz? Not that popular.

Girls who would be cute with any other haircolor who happen to be redheads? Crazy popular.
>>
>>17746110
This.

They're also super kinky. Like unbelievably kinky. You can't out-kink a redhead

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I can't interact with people normally, don't leave my bed most days and experience severe self-loathing. I tried going once to therapy but it did nothing.

It just seems like paying someone to have a conversation with you, but they don't really have any idea about what's going on in your brain. They have theories that will be completely outdated in 5 years. They only get a tiny and biased fraction of any story. They come to sessions with their own biases. It's really just some normie who's being paid to treat you empathetically regardless...
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>>17746037

Therapy is for normies and failed normies.
If you are a bot you are just wasting money.
They are not going to help you.
But if you continue to pay, they will help themselves to it.
>>
>I tried going once to therapy but it did nothing.

Did you want it to do anything? Or did you want to just be magically cured of all your problems, without making any changes or working on yourself at all?
>>
>>17746037
Self-therapy, no one knows you best than yourself. Look at your life from a third person point of view and think about what you can currently change, and how you can change it. Maybe read some psychology books to help you out.

Ok, so this is real.

My girlfriend told me she and her friend will have a threesome with me. I really want to do it, but of course I'm super nervous and afraid of not being up to snuff.

Does anyone know where I can buy some Cialis or something, I just want a few tablets, I want to try it once and if it works use it again the night I have the threesome. I'm in the US.

It's going to be intense and she also said I can piss on them.

This is all very crazy, I naturally wanted it all and now that it's going to happen I'm super nervous.

I am always good with just my girlfriend, but this really ups the ante. I really want to perform well.

Please help me find a way to purchase of few. I'm looking for a legitimate online way to purchase a few. I've got about a month and I don't think I have a good avenue through my insurance.

PLEASE HELP

thank you
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You could just go to a doctor and they'll give you a script for it. I keep seeing ads for even getting single doses of the shit.
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Don't piss on them, OP. You still have to look your gf in the eye after.

If you don't need chemical assistance to get an erection normally, you won't need it then. It's a crutch, which you won't need.

Be ready to do a lot of watching. Generally, FFM threesomes are more about the women. That's why you won't need Cialis. Watch them do their thing a few minutes and beat your meat and relax- you'll be more than ready to go when called upon. No one drives the car like the owner, after all.

If you want an edge, exercise...
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>>17746013

>>17745990

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I am in dire straits and probably not looking for help in a terrific place. Last few years I have experienced tactile hallucinations / delusions / depression. Thought government was watching, thought a group was experimenting on me from a distance, even went as low as believing the group was aliens. I don't have any crazy thoughts such as that anymore, but one thing has stayed with me; feeling like something is crawling all over me, like ants or more closely spiders. At one point it was so bad that it felt like there were giant worms crawling into my ears. It is absolutely...
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Go to a fucking doctor.

> I read schizo meds are ridiculously expensive

Then get one medicaid or some shit. if you're this crazy I'm sure you don't have a job or anything, should be easy.
>>
I do have a job, and have been employed at my current workplace for a year this february.
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>>17745969
Dude, go visit a doctor, like seriously. It does sound like schizophrenia but you need a prescription for meds like that.

I fuck friends girlfriend daily
i meet and talk to him daily but feel nothing

h-how should i feel bros?
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Congratulations, you're now aware that you're a complete asshole who doesn't care if he fucks people over.

An upside is that this will make some things easier in life.
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>>17745945
>but feel nothing
That's not true because you made this thread.
>>
>>17745945
bro comes before hoe
you're not a man

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Alright Anons, I need some healthy advice on how to get my GF to orgasm, backstory is as follows (try not to laugh at me too hard, I know this is going to look really shitty on my part)
>Be me 21yo male
>Be with current GF 2 and a half years
>she is my first GF and I'm her first BF, we're each others first for really everything (stop laughing)
>Never fight
>What 99% of our local femanons would consider goals

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>>17745870
To the average person, id tell them to watch porn tutorials of eating pussy (plenty of pornstars give pretty good tutorials) but you seem too innocent, so ill just link you to this great guide

http://mytinysecrets.com/how-to-eat-pussy-a-magical-guide-for-evolved-people/
>>
>>17745887
I probably should've included this as well, she really hates oral, I'll still study the link because it could just be that I'm bad at it, in either case, thanks!
>>
There are toys you can buy if she hates oral and are open to then. Body wands are great.

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What's the best field (and way) to have a successful career under a pseudonym. I need a way to make money and validation without it reaching my private life.
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>>17745856
That sounds dumb. Explain your reasoning.
>>
assassin
mercenary
drug runner
pimp
mafia
author
>>
>>17745860
I'm diagnosed with a personality disorder

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How do I regain my libido? I simply can't seem to get as turned on/mesmerized by seeing naked female bodies as much as I used to when I was under 15.
I'm about 23 and everything seems like a fat slab of meat to me, I can't find the appeal anymore in the human skin and biology in general. Everything seems so shallow, I can't get immersed into it.
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One more thing: I only fap now to get rid of my hormones as quickly as possible because they've become a nuisance to me. At least 2 times a day to get rid of that "gotta pee-feeling// shitty mind control/craving'' that I keep getting out of hormones. Then again I also have hair follicles trying to grow out of my cockhead, so that might be a factor too.

When I was younger I didn't need hormones to get turned on, I did it on my own, by my own thoughts and love.( I've also fallen in a deep depression which didn't let me anything in this...
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start drinking coffee daily.
>>
>Stop porn and unfollow every socialmedia which shows naked girls
>Stop fapping, or do it few times a week.
>Walk everyday outside alone for 20mins
That should do it, helped me atleast.

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What is wrong with these morons? My moron of a successful friend in particular. He doesn't seem to fucking understand what "autism" means. He genuinely thinks it's bullshit and I just want to suicide because I'm lazy, not because I'm socially unfit to live like this for the rest of my life. The only reason I even want death is because I hope reviving is as a newborn baby is real. A different family, life, set of genes, a new person. It's worth a try before something really bad happens.

I just love how much every naturally fit intellectual...
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I'm 28 and I want to die too. I got recognized for my positive attitude and good moral at work recently, but it's all just an act to cope with the fact that I haven't even achieved the simplest things in life that most people don't even struggle to obtain. Every single day I wonder if I should just end it.
>>
I don't know... how many actual lazy pieces of shits are out there who do have the intelligence, the imagination, the talent, but don't do anything with it. But I along a huge majority of the world don't have anything of that.
I don't even have the drive to do it and lie to myself that I can - to fake it till I make it. If I had the energy to do things then I'd be nothing but another self-lying jock/asshole/degenerate hypocrite who pretends everything is fine in his life by lowering his standards and treating everyone else the same with his shitty...
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>>17745738
One more phrase to remember my point. Nothing in this world can make you anymore intelligent and different than you already are - we didn't biologically evolve that much in order to raise our potential to godhood, I'm sorry.

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I've been watching this 10 yo kid for a while, and his parents say I'm really good with him and they haven't given him his ADHD meds at all when I've been watching him. The thing is; the kid is normal. I haven't seen any sign of him being hyperactive or struggle with attention despite not being on meds. He's an awesome kid, smart attentive and patient (for a 10 yo anyway).

Now, the dad has some issues. I know from the older kids that he gives physical punishment, and he gives off an intimidating feel in general. I'm worried that the...
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>>17745722
So you are a babysitter turned social worker/psychologist and able to diagnose? Why not just cut through all the crap and get a lynch mob after him
>>
Tell the kid to sneak the pills. He's gonna be so thankful for that prescription in high school/university.
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>>17745778
better yet tell him to bring them to you, pay him in candy from the sell profits

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So, going to the polls today. Gonna vote for Jill Stein, since I think the environment is more important than anything else right now. Anything I should know about her before I do?

I would choose the Sand-Man, but after Obama, I don't want to go for another "save the economy" president.

She likely won't win, but, hey, what's the point of democracy if you don't try?
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Going to vote Johnson myself. The main parties are embarrassingly bad and corrupt.
>>
Stein wants to make pesticides and GMOs completely illegal. She also kind of panders to anti-vaccers using evasive rhetoric. Most importantly, lacks essential understanding in vital areas of knowledge, such as economics.

Johnson is pretty bad too. He's essentially a modern Luddite who wants to get rid of every kind of government subsidy we have. Which would be so incredibly stupid.

No one should kid themselves, every candidate in this election sucks.
>>
>>17745698
>She likely won't win
Complete understatement. There is a bigger chance that somebody assassinates Hillary AND the orange clown than Stein winning.

>since I think the environment is more important than anything else right now.
Then Hillary it is. I considered Stein too as a moral vote because who the fuck wants to be responsible for the next war Hillary starts but given the potential of the pussy grabber winning, it's not that smart,...
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>engaged to dream girl
>about to get married in a couple of months
>we're both fairly religious but I like to smoke weed occasionally
>haven't told her yet and not sure how she feels about weed (we haven't really discussed the subject of drugs but I feel like she might have a problem with it)

how should I tell her? should I even tell her before we get married?
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...just how long have you two been together? I would assume not long enough to get married if she hasn't found out about your pot habit.

Tell her, you moron, and if she hates it, then you have a decision to make.
>>
>>17745597
well yeah it's been kind of a long distance relationship until now, that's why it never really came up
>>
>>17745622
>kind of a long distance relationship until now
>about to get married
>haven't even discussed controversial topics
I hope you know what you're doing

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How do you tell someone you're dating you haven't been with many women before without giving them the impression that you're a loser?
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>>17745578
Why should it come up? Has she asked? Just say "I haven't been with many women."
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>>17745578
She won't really care, and besides, she can probably already tell.
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>>17745578
>How do you tell someone you're dating you haven't been with many women before without giving them the impression that you're a loser?

you are a loser because of this line of thinking and not because of how many women you slept with. Also she knew. She's probably waiting for someone better to be available.

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Part 1 my behavior:
- Total inability to listen to 99% of the people. I ignore them and have trouble paying attention to them.
- Total lack of respect to 99% of people. I try to respect them but it is fake and they eventually find out.
- I don't want to be nice to people or smile, I try to smile but sometimes I forget and people find out.
- Every college class I took, I did not pay any attention to my professors, I sat there making my own notes. When teachers find out, they sometimes take offense and fuck with me or my grade.
- I have never been on time...
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>>17745505
You're just a dark edgelord with ADHD.
>>
People almost never like me. People in authority hate me even more. The usual complaint is that I don't respect them. They accuse me of being arrogant. I do everything asked of me and even try to do far more than that.
- All my relatives hate me. Growing up they used to refer to me as the "psycho" and would tell their kids not to play with me. I was often caught climbing trees, sneaking into facilities, climbing really dangerous, tall structures and getting to the top of them. I was obsessed with getting to the top of high rises.

_ i used to have empathy...
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The others:

Starting with my family. My father has zero empathy and is a total piece of shit. Everything I do he has to criticize it. I once put a dollar bill in my wallet, he took it out and put it back in the same exact way, in front of other people. I once woke up to him trying to grab my dick, I then realized why he would ask me to go lay down with him so much and pretend to be in pain before bed time so I could go lay with him.

My father spent 18 years faking having really bad arthiritis, he would cry in pain and them both my mother and father would cuss...
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Is there a way to tell your partner that you're seriously considering breaking up if things don't change without flat out saying that? I feel like if I said it it'd be irreparable damage and would be the nail in the coffin, so to speak, but there are things that absolutely need to change, and quick. I don't know how to make him understand that it is urgent and can't be just ignored until it goes away, and I WILL leave. How do I communicate this? I've been saying things like I'm at the end of my rope and I can't take any more pretty often...
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15 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Pack your things. Let him see it.
>>
You've tried. Realistically you don't NEED to give them another chance but you probably will.

Be blunt.

Hey asshat, shit needs to change and it needs to change now. If you value this relationship then fix it or I'm out.
>>
>>17745488
Can you be more specific. What needs changing?

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/adv/ I need to make at least 200 bucks in 7 days, my cat is sick and needs surgery.

Please give me some ideas. It doesn't matter how hard or disgusting, except maybe selling my ass, but could consider it if I get desperate enough.
15 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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If you don't have money set aside for emergencies like this, you're an irresponsible pet owner and really shouldn't own a cat
>>
>>17745490
I already payed 500 dollars but I still need 200 more.
My next paycheck is completely spent to pay other bills and I don't even have it yet.
>>
>>17745479
sell your own organs
or become Heisenberg and cook meth

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Some weeks ago i asked /adv if crying was an OK way to let go of stress, and of course people said it was ok. The thing is i've started doing it so frequently. Its got to the point that i cry 3-4 times a week. Just curling up in a corner in the bathroom. I cry mostly because im anxious. I highly doubt i have anxiety, but i've allways been anxious.

Its most recent that i've started crying so much. It just feels good the day after, so i keep doing it.

Will it help if i open up to someone? Should i just try to contain myself a bit more, or can i open...
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>i highly doubt i have anxiety
>i've always been anxious

you have anxiety my friend.

and i think opening up and letting someone else take on the burden at least a little bit, by being aware of how you feel, would be a good release.

but what do i know.
>>
>>17745493
I dont know if i have anxiety. It feels like such a incredibly serious thing and i dont really feel like its that serious. I've allways been anxious and i cant really think through my problems on my own, but i dont think that it is that severe.
>>
>>17745506
If you want clinical proof, go see a professional and get an analysis. They can tell you if your anxious feelings are within the boundaries of a healthy psyche or if you're actually having a disorder of sorts.

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advice time

>Be me
>Be in relationship for ~20 months
>We worked together. Saw each other every day. Good times.
>She made me better, I made her better.
>Super happy!
>Beginning of May she moved 10+ hours away for a new job. Super proud of her. Encouraged her to be happy.
>Saw each other every couple of weeks.
>She came...
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>>17745405
Your explanation is as bad as your relationship. Learn to tell a coherent story.
>>
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>>17745405
OP cont’d.
>Fight her on it.
>Got bad advice early that she wanted proof that I loved her.
>Told her I wanted to propose. We had talked about it but I told her how I’d have done it.
>It gets worse.
>Wreck of myself.
>Let my head go places it shouldn’t.
>Been cheated on in the past. Two long...
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>got dumped and threw a fit about it
you don't need any advice

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How do I know if some mild annoyance is something to go to a doctor for or not?

I keep feeling lightheaded sometimes and I still haven't gained back the like 5 kilos I lost like a month ago despite of going back to eating normally.
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17745397
Sounds like shitty low blood pressure, so gotta get more iron. Also just eat more and actually watch calories.

Ideally it's always better to consult a doctor, so as long you don't live in a shithole where healthcare isn't free, go do it, even for small shit.
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>>17745407
But I DO eat. I eat just the same as I did before my weight dropped.
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>>17745435
The same in number of meals or literally the same stuff? Besides, just eat more. Perhaps your body is using more energy now.

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I'm falling hard for a girl I work with. She has a dude and a baby, and I think she feels the same about me. There's way too much chemistry between us, like we were meant to be.

Help me. What is the appropriate way to back off? I really don't want to wreck her family, but the longer our friendship goes on the harder this is gonna get. In a couple weeks I'll be elegible to transfer. Should I explain the situation to my bosses, ask for a transfer, and become distant with her once I'm gone? I would feel really bad because I get the feeling she doesn't...
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>>17745357
Fuck her and transfer, its the best thing for you

I fucked a grill i was talking with that had a bf of 7 years and we started liking eachother a lot luckily i was going on a internship to another place for 3 months so truly this was the best for the two of us.
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>>17745357
You simply do nothing.

>>17745663
Fuck off degenerate.
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>>17745665
Life has been giving me too much shit to care for others, i look out for my hapiness and i regret nothing.

Guys why is having a tattoo soo depressing?
15 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17745321
its a constant reminder of how stupid you are that you can never totally get rid of
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>>17745322
you may be right. I hope to rid my self of my stupid decision but it may never go away.
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>>17745321
if you are a female you give off masculine vibes and trashy vibes. I find them more acceptable in men.

How/where do I find someone to pay me for promoting them with these stats?

5000 Facebook friends 5.600Followers
1.2k Facebook page likes
3.1k Instagram Followers
100k+ Youtube views
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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These aren't anywhere near impressive stats. Youtube views don't mean anything, what matters are subscriptions.
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>>17745282
Not Impresive,But not that bad.
but I'm ''famous'' in my country.
1k Subs.

Alot of people know me, I've got 2 facebook accounts with 20k+ Viewers.
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>>17745289
>1k subs
>famous in my country
wow lad

Just directly contact local corporations, preferably big international ones that only have a small presence in your local market or only just entered it. Don't bother with small start ups since they're mostly going to pay you with their products rather than cash.
But really if they're not approaching you already, you can't expect much with those numbers.

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Have a speech to deliver tomorrow in class, 7-9 minutes, any tips on memorizing it??
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17745260
>any tips on memorizing it??
Don't. It's called using cue cards
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>>17745260
write it down and transcript it over and over.
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>>17745273
We are allowed to use 5 note cards, so that could work


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