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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 16. page
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File: Rami Malek.jpg (166 KB, 1200x901) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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About a month ago I had an extremely akward sexual encounter with a girl that I met through a student organization at my University. Long story short, I'm a virgin who has a lot of confidence issues and I couldn't get my dick up and was just very frigid and stiff. I kind of just panic'd and basically apologized to her for my akwardness and I sent her home. I've felt really shitty about this whole thing but haven't done anything about it because I felt like this girl would want nothing to do with me after that. But, she still looks at all my snapchats...
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>>17841849
>hey... I didn't used to look like this, so I'm kind of new to these things
>can we just kiss for a while and see where it goes?

Just be fucking genuine. Obviously you can't be anything else right now since you're so psyched out about it
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>>17841858
I don't even know if I'll be getting physical with this girl again, it's just something that's eating away at me. Like I feel like I owe this girl an apology, but I can't tell if an apology is what she wants.
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>>17841858
>>17841862
Don't listen to that moron.
Juat cut all contact, completely ignore her, find another girl to fuck and get over the whole thing.

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My boyfriends exs boobs are massive. Mine look like the D-E ones in the picture and his exs are bigger than any of those. They're the biggest I've seen. Now this normally wouldn't be a problem and he has told me my boobs are the perfect size yet, i found a bunch of photos of girls with massive tits...no girls with boobs like mine. Does he secretly wish my boobs were like his exs?
13 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Found photos of girls wih massive tits on his computer*
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>>17841819
Nope.
He secretely wishes your boobs were EVEN BIGGER.
Don't worry, that's something all men do, at some level. We learn how to cope and not assault the first titty monster we see.
He's with you, it will be ok. You can ignore the pics.
>>
>>17841819
I'm going to reverse your question.

>My girlfriends exs dick is massive. Mine is like 5 inches and a half and his exs is bigger. It's the biggest I've heard about. Now this normally wouldn't be a problem and she has told me my dick is the perfect size yet, i found a bunch of photos of guys with massive cocks...no guys with cocks like mine. Does she secretly wish my cock was like his exs?

Well, what would your response be if the girl was you?

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>be me 52 years old
>married to a wife I dont like
>Have a big house so we live separate
>kids left the house
>finally have money to buy a sports car, but now it does not matter to me<
>What is the point in living, feel like been there done that<
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OP here

I have everything I could want?
>>
Can I move in with you and have you buy me things? Or just wire me some money every once in awhile.
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>>17841805
how much do you need?

What is an easy way to gain weight? It practically falls off of me no matter what or how much i eat. I think i have a hormone imbalance but the doctor says i haven't
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Schedule times to eat, make sure you eat the proper amount of times, even if you don't feel hungry.
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>>17841775
Melt ice cream into a drinkable type shake

Highest calorie intake in the easiest way to consume
>>
First of all start counting calories.

Right now, without changing your diet at all. You will realize that you're not sick, you don't have a hormone imbalance - you just eat to little.

This is a fairly important thing to realize when trying to gain weight because it makes it clear to you that its all in your hands and that you don't have anything to blame but yourself.

Then once you are there you can look into diet plans etc - theres lots of them.

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My dad just told me he would "really like it" if I went to senior prom.
I have 4 months to make enough friends to go to prom with as an 18 year old in High School
Can it be done? How?
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>>17841765
Stop watching Sam Hyde and start watching Daniel Tosh

They will flock
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>>17841802
>start watching Dane Cook

Fixed it for you.
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>>17841818
Yooooo I wrote that first but changed it
I wasn't sure if today's high schoolers know him

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i was molested by my father as a child. I wasnt able to understand what he was doing, and it felt good, so i never blamed him and i felt guilty instead. Is no use telling anyone, because it woud only break my family apart and is not ike it would give a solution to anything.
i see now how this affected me, because is really difficult for me to have physical contact with relatives or friends.

I only wanted to say it, because i repressed it, and is no use. i will accept it and go on.
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Thanks for sharing
>>
>>17841751
that sucks man
I can admire you for not making your pain others people pain. I know I would be weak in that

I hope things gett better in this regard. goodspeed anon-kun
>>
I hope you avoid that faggot cut contact

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>tfw love with parents, no job, gf, life and being 36 going on 37
sometimes I want to die
thought about going to school and study nursing but who wants to hire a newly graduated 45 year old nurse since all I have is a high school diploma
19 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Where you from friend
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>>17841764
USA, Florida
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>>17841770
Isn't nursing in demand there?
I have a friend that studied to be a nurse and got so many interviews / job offers afterwards.
Especially if you're a guy since muh diversity

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My wife and I were on our way to the gym when a commercial trailer truck started switching lanes from the right all the way to the left. She swerved to the left trying her best not to end up underneath the truck when all the sudden this white truck appears in front of us, swerving all the way to the left trying to also not die from the trailer truck. We hit the white truck from behind. Our car got completely trashed in the front. The hood got fucked up good and something started leaking. The white truck we hit just got a broken tail light. The trailer truck that caused everything,...
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>>17841741
Typically insurance follows the driver. Hence your insurance will cover YOUR car and not HERS. As far as the other vehicle. Typically it's the insurance that is on the car that covers their vehicle and any medical bills.

I mean it all really depends on the policy but typically that's how it ends it up working out. So your insurance is going to have to claim the accident on your mother's car and her insurance can claim the truck.

Take all this with a grain of sand. Like I said it's...
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>>17841757
I don't understand?

My wife was driving my mothers car with my as passenger. My wife has he own car and insurance.

We didn't take my wife's cars cause it was low in gas.
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>>17841760
Yeah after reading what I posted it seemed a little confusing since I worded it improperly...At least the first part.

So if your wife was driving your mother's car then your wife's insurance should cover your mother's car, but your mother's insurance should cover the truck ya'll hit. This is typical if you have liability, I believe.

Like I said, it all depends on your policy. If you have liability, full coverage, and/or collision coverage etc.

If you have any concerns,...
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I fear so much for my country, my family, my friends. I just want everyone to be safe, why can't people just be safe. Eat well, love each other, forgive, why in such advanced times do these concepts find themsevles being so foriegn. What has happened to kindness, what i ask you. Who's killed it.
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>>17841712
> current year
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>>17841712

We've killed it, anon. The human race has killed it.

I'm sorry. Things WILL get better I can promise you that. But, before they get better they must get worse.
>>
Oh shut the fuck up you dramatic SJW hippie bastard.

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What do I bring over for a housewarming gift? My friends bought a massive house and they are incredibly well off.
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Bring a potted plant
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>>17841678
Poo-Pourri.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY
>>
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>>17841678
Give the gift of rape.

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I have Phimosis, what do?
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Go see a doctor if they can make a surgery, a friend of mine had a surgery a few years back (we're both 21 now, he did it when he was 19). And while he's single like... always. He can at least have sex with a girl if he'd like to. (he's very shy tho).
TL;DR: Go see a doctor, senpai. It's no biggie. And you'll thank him later.
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>>17841690
Damn idk man, it's pretty weird too.
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>>17841690
Do I have to get circumcised? I mean is it a must?

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Why are my dreams so vivid , /adv/? I wake up disturbed by how clear my dreams are .
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why wouldn't they be?
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>>17841643
superior brain chemistry

have you done a lot of drugs?
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>>17841643
thats bc youre starting to dream lucidly, as months pass the vividness will become normal to you

How do I become girlfriend-able?

I learn as much as I can about literature/music/philosophy/science/etc, try to form my own opinions, try to be funny and interesting

But I just don't know how to be interesting. I'm just dull. I'm not naturally funny or witty or original in any way.

Physically I do the best I can with my face and body. I look the best I can.

How do I get someone to have feelings for me?
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>>17841630

Average looks are not good enough.
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>>17841630
I posted this on /soc/ and it made a great thread. I'll repost it for you:

WHAT DO YOU BRING TO A RELATIONSHIP?

There are a ton of threads about what you want in a relationship. Let's give it a twist: what can you offer to others? Why should people date you?
>ASL
>5 things you can offer to a potential couple
>Why people should date you?

(forget the ASL, but do give me an answer to the rest)
>>
>>17841630
im a dude, and for a while when i entered college i tought i had the same problem, i really tried my best to fit in i lost a lot of weight changed my clothes, and i learned as much as i could about things normal people talk about

But that didn't work at all, i realized that everything felt fake, luckily i found an old friends that was always good to me in highschool,she is into all the stuff im into, and whenever i see her i know that i can just be myself and talk with her for hours

it might be...
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Hello /adv/. I'm a 25 year old bi female who has only ever been with women. I think I finally found a guy to experiment with, hoping to make this happen in the next few days.

Any tips for my first time with a guy?
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>>17841623

>25 year old female dick virgin

just don't say anything
>>
I've known him for a while, and he already knows I've been girls-only.
>>
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When it says, on various packaged foods such as I don't know, a bag of chips or some sort of seeds or whatever really "May contain traces of gluten, soy, etc." do these things actually contain the gluten or is it basically just some general warning they have to put on everything, like how the stuff that comes with pills lists pretty much every sickness humanity has ever experienced?
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>>17841603
Kill yourself you fucking cuck

Only a bearded nu-male beta would care about shit like this
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>>17841606
Or someone with coeliac disease you fucking waste of oxygen.
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>>17841610
kill yourself you fucking cuck

only a numale beta cuck would have meme diseases

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Hello /adv/, this is a story about love that's already over, i just need some clearance because it was my first relationship. Sorry for the long post

This girl stumbled into my world and we clicked almost instantly even with having 9 years of difference (me the older) and almost nothing in common in taste in music, art or whatsoever. We talked day and nights for 3 months and confessed how we were attracted to each others. We shared our fears and joys, we bonded so fucking well that we could read our minds and predict our thoughts. It was intense and I loved it, I...
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>cont

A week ago I sent her a funny picture because I dunno, I still do care for her and still want to remain friends. She laughed but the conversation was short and bland.

The morning after she sent me a funny picture but, as I always do, don't laugh and again the conversation is short and bland.

My thought about this are biased and that's why I need clearance.

I think she still feels something for me, but she's scared because we're so different. She hides her feelings from her friends and always...
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>>17841549
in my years of experience no you are being let down easy you got played like a chump
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>>17841556
Care to explain? What do you mean?

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Right, I got a younger sister who's looking to move to my part of the country, and our folks asked me to house her for a few months until she gets her own place. This isn't a trick, none of them mean to make me live with her all the time, they just genuinely asked me to help out and I agreed, since I get along well with my sister.

Now, the thing is, I'm a single guy, so I'm gonna have to adjust my way of being about the place, bathroom stuff - the whole nine yards. Not an issue and don't mind it, it's really just a convenient way to make...
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>>17841488
How old is she and do you want to fuck her
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>>17841488
She's gonna bring home guys if that's something you wouldn't be prepared for .

Other then that, just live your life as you would have otherwise, she has to be the one doing the adjustments.
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>>17841492

She's younger than me and no. Piss off.

>>17841499

>She's gonna bring home guys if that's something you wouldn't be prepared for .

See, this is something I completely overlooked.

No idea what to do about it though. Can't rightly tell her to never bring anyone over, seeing as I will be doing that myself. But then again, I have no wish to hear my sister fucking some guy.

Maybe...
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I've been invited to a birthday party today for my 5 year old cousin. I recently had a baby (he's 6 weeks old) and I would have to bring him to the party with me (no sitter, and he is strictly breast fed).
The thing is, I HATE letting anyone hold him. I usually won't let it happen unless it's someone I trust and I'm very close to. I can easily say no to just about anyone. But, my mentally handicap cousin will be at this party, and she unfortunately loves babies. I know if I go to the party and bring my baby, she'll ask to hold him, and everyone...
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who the hell wants to go to some retarded 5 year old's party anyway? fuck that shit
>>
>>17841475
LEAVE YOUR BABIES LIFE UP TO THE RETARD GODS
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>>17841480
Sorry, I should have been more clear, my bad. The 5 year old isn't handicap, my handicap cousin will just be attending the party. She's 20
>>17841484
If I liked this baby just a little bit less than I do, then I'd do that.

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Recently I've decided to get out of my weak ass and start training and lifting. At first, the goal was not even to look good - I just wanted to be healthier - but now I said "fuck it", and decided that I might as well take care of my whole appearance, with which the biggest concerns I've always had are my face and hair; I'm trying to fix that somewhat, and I was hoping you guys could spare some much welcome opinions and advice.

There are a couple things I feel really conscious about, chiefly the size of my eyelashes, the size of my head (which...
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>>17841436
You look good already my man
You need to make your insides look better now and it will show up in the mirror if u catch my Tokyo drift
>>
>>17841436
>
trim your brows.

Change your hair. IDK why this hitler jugend hair is so popular it looks pathetic
>>
>>17841436
>What can I do to look better?
Have you tried not being armenian?

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I sometimes get REALLY bad headaches after eating breakfast/brunch, the food can be anything, even something as simple as oats with milk. I have no problems when eating dinner.

Does anyone know what could cause this? It doesnt happen all the time with the same food, and a doctor just sent me to do some bloodtests and then said everything looked OK. She could only suggest generic advice like "drink more water" which hasn't helped at all.

It's causing a huge problem when I get headaches so bad that I'm useless for at least the next hour after breakfast.
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>>17841425
>Does anyone know what could cause this?

YES! Specifically, a doctor would know what could cause this.

You should go see one.
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>>17841430
did you read the part of my post where i said that i went to a doctor and he didnt have any idea?
>>
>>17841447
*she

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I really fucked up and I need serious help but can't afford it, so here I am. Please help/advise me.

I have serious mood swings, one minute I'm really depressed and the next I can be straight up happy and manic. It's gotten to the point where I'm straight up reckless with my life.

I have just gambled away £1.6k and and am broke until the 23rd, what can I do about my mood swings + gambling addiction. I just want to be normal /adv/..

please help. i have nowhere to turn to.
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Got any family or friends to turn to? Maybe you need a therapist
>>
you really need to be on meds. if you dont know how to make this happen go to the ER and tell them you plan to kill yourself
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>>17841720
Neither and I can't afford therapy.

>>17841745
I'm not risking being admitted into the psyche ward or losing my job.

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https://youtu.be/UFheHDaNgVI?list=PLzuXKUSbV-70otU0WjPjj4aiGuAdn_N7y

Help guys

/mu/ are being dicks. so I am preparing a birthday gift for my qt grill and it requires that I learn to play this on guitar
yh yh I know shitty ass lame pop song (but she loves it) and I have only been playing the guitar for a week

on a scale of 1/10 how easy do you think it is to learn this?

the guy is horrible at explaining his procces or maybe I just dont know. please assure me.

will I fail this?
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>>17841387
So fucking gay kill yourself

Rethink your gift, she'll leave your ass Halfway through, now that's what I call an x-factor
Prob like a month or two if you've never played
>>
>>17841401
what the fuck nigger? two months?

you must be retared.


please some actuall help here

PS: she wouldnt leave me, she is not a Roastie
>>
>>17841413
Well if you're asking I imagine you haven't even tried do you must be just as dumb as me JERK!

If she likes that gay ass song she's definitely an Arbies ass bitch

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How do people have sex without emotions?

And how do people really do the FWB thing without wanting something special?

I wish I could do these things, but so far I just can't.
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>>17841306
Why do you wish you could

Some ppl just aren't made for that life
>>
>>17841321

i haven't had any luck with finding a relationship or love, but i still have sexual feelings
>>
>>17841306
>How do people have sex without emotions?
What's so complicated about it? I find a hot prostitute, dick gets up, fuck her, pay her and leave.

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no vent thread in here, so here it is. first let me bitch about my life and then i encourage you to do the same

>be me talking to qt boy
>really skinny and small dude
>hang out with qt boy a couple times
>smoke a bunch of dope
>things get heated
>decide to fuck
>anon takes his clothes off
>has the body of a developing...
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>>17841265
Hilarious, are you gonna text him

Are you a girl or boy

How do you know he was 19
>>
>>17841276
waiting for him to text me. i'm a girl. and he's 18 right now almost 19 but his age is confirm because i've known him as a friend for awhile and he used his id to buy some cigs
>>
>>17841265
he's queer OP give up and find a man next time you want to get fucked. Big difference in the outcome

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There's a party tonight, to which I wasn't invited. However, the rest of my flat was invited, and I'm okay with a lot of the people going there, including the host. We don't really talk, but we're at a lot of events today. Now, my flatmates have told me to just turn up, even though I wasn't invited.
I feel bad about it because I just feel rejected, and I'm not sure whether I'm actually wanted at this party or not, so I'm not sure whether or not to go. I don't want to seem like a scrape.
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you weren't invited - don't go
>>
>>17841273
That was my initial thought, but my flatmates told me that the host wont be mad if I'm there, and that she may have just forgotten about me. I still feel like an imposter
>>
>>17841264
I say fuck it
Get wasted
Your flat mates sound like they'll back you up

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Hellow humble anons!
Its that being cheated on op from few days ago. Yes its happening. Ive got it all sorted and confirmed. She is screwing her boss. One way or another she is doing this to achieve somethinv to fullfill her dream or just to get a sure job for future as some may say. She might even think that shes doing it for Us becouse there are moments she is actinv soo lovely and wifish. Taking me out for shopping or just hanginv out. Whatever it is, is it guilt or atempts to cover up. I dont care anymore. Nothing justify whats shes doing. Its just simply not right! Im...
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>>17841251
Leave her. She will cheat again with someone else. Though, feel free to stay in touch for the luls when her boss cheats on her.
>>
do not call him, or his wife
just leave
>>
>>17841251
DO NOT CALL
Don't make any moves till you talk to a lawyer. Future sober (ok maybe a bit tipsy) happier you will thank past drunk you

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Hey guys im Hamza, I get called Ana, So the 4Chan community can call me Ana or Hamza. Ana Proffered its just usually what i get called in school and shit.

So basically i was wondering if anyone knows why im always scared and nervous. I don't know why but i always feel scared any help?
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First I need to know abit about your life .. Bfs and so on
And how you are socially


As I see right now, you are scared of publicity and talk in quiet voice.
>>
>>17841233
Not knowing your own name can be a little scary.
>>
is this an anime reference or some shit?

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what do you talk about with friends and other people?

>tfw socially retarded
>have no friends
>go to workplace social event
>literally know 1 in 30 people
>just hang with people i know and listen to their conversations
>never know how to contribute

what should i even talk about? how do i contribute?

things people talked about at my last workplace social event:

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>>17841232

Watch the news in the morning. There you'll have a bit of common ground. And then just talk. There's no trick. Talk and listen, that's all.
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>>17841232
I just ask questions to figure out what they're excited about and then you just let them rant while actively listening
>>
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>>17841243
people rarely discuss current events though

last time i've heard coworkers talk about any, were the US election results

>>17841254
i try to ask questions, but usually run out of things to ask.
especially with people i already know. i usually ask what their weekend is like, and that's about it. it really seems like the popular guys are the ones with stories of something they or "a buddy" did.

>actively...
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Every time I'm with my close circle of friends, we flow nicely and talk about anything. Like friends do.

Whenever I bring my girlfriend with me, all my fucking shortcomings are layed out and discussed. I become the butt-end of every joke and they talk about me in third person while I'm right fucking there.

Now, my girl venting her frustrations about me to others is totally healthy and should be done. But its right in front of me, and no one asks me about my side of the story before assuming I'm a dick because "he did this and that in this way...
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>>17841228
You sound insecure about your shortcomings

When that happens in certain groups, especially males is that they prod at each other's insecurities in a way of saying "why do you care so much if you have a lisp, we love you, stop being such a downer about it, you're accepted, we're gonna fucking force this shit out of you if we have to, be at our level"

The key is to accept whatever they make fun of you about because there's some truth to it. Once you do that it makes it easy...
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>>17841245
I am insecure about my shortcomings, yeah. Aren't you? I deeply appreciate someone sitting me down and telling me about them, whatever they may be but this is done in really poor fashion.
There is always some truth, if not all of it but it just goes on and on and on...I banter them too in the same way, only I do it to their face without teaming up with the others on it.

I guess I'm too sensitive and they're right then.
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>>17841268
My friend group pretty much shits on each other all the time too, and they make fun of me because I have feminine mannerisms, have braces at 20, date 17 year olds and other shit. I make fun of my friends for being fat, chewbbaca hairy, and for being a nigger. The point is everyone has things that makes us a bit embarrassed, being able to be open about it without being hurt forms strong bonds between friends. society tells men to not be open about their feelings so making fun of each other is our sorta work around...
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I need help /adv/
>go on tinder
>get a match with hot girl
>we cam together
>hot a fuck
>she asks me to show her my cock before we meet IRL
>show her my hard on
>turns out the "girl" is actually a Russian hacker guy
>he has my fb so he will send videos of my dick to my whole familly and friends unless I pay him 500$
what...
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>>17841214
Send your family and friends a picture of your dick beating your blackmailer to the punch

BONEUS - you could make it appear more flattering that a webcam snap
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>>17841214
Everyone masturbates. Report it to the cyber police, most likely he will release the video anyway.

Worst case scenario people get a video of you jacking off.
>>
i'm assuimg this is b8 but if not do not pay
no one cares about your dick


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