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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 162. page
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A friend of mine has been raped on 8 seperate occasions over the past six months and now suffers PTSD. Everytime we're in an intimate sexual situation she freezes up and has a panic attack, then breaks down into tears. Anyone have experience on how to help her through this?
67 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Sounds like she needs therapy.
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>>17741829
Hallucinogens are good for overcoming psychological trauma. Always go the natural route and give her some mescaline, magic mushrooms or ahuasca. She doesnt have to do alot to "trip" either. She can just take small amounts every day referred to a "micro dosing". I wish her good luck and will be sending her healing energy.
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>>17741829
She was raped 8 times in 6 months? Is she the most unlucky girl in the world, or is she just fucking other people and has no interest in you sexually? I'll let you be the judge.

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some...
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Alright I'll repost my greentext from its own thread.

>meet girl
>hit it off
>she has a boyfriend
>keep hitting it off and seeing each other almost every other day
>one night, drink absinthe and get plastered
>we fuck
>tell close friends about situation
>they tell me I shouldn't date her because she cheated...
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>>17741435
The question I'd be asking is why didn't she leave her boyfriend?
>>
>>17741435
You're both assholes for cheating.
Your friends are right, she cheated once she will cheat on you too. But you're honestly just as fucking despicable for allowing her to cheat so you're trash too I guess.
You're right, you deserve nothing for being the absolute fucking scum of the earth.

Femanon here (sry no tits), I'll try to keep this as short as possible.

Basically, my ex boyfriend posted nude pics of me on a revenge porn website after we broke up. I sent him these pics with confidence he would delete them afterward. I know very stupid but I was in love and I trusted him.

When anyone Googles my name, these naked pics are on the first page of my Google results.

I will be graduating college next month with a degree in Accounting, I will have about 3.6 GPA and am graduating from a very reputable state university.

I am scared to death every potential employer I submit my resume to will Google my name and see these nasty results. I'm considering legally changing my name, but I know employers also do background checks which provide all previous legal names.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone can offer any advice on this? Is anyone else in the same boat? I do plan on taking legal action against my ex, but I can't afford an attorney right now, so it will have to wait until I've been working for a few months ... I'm beyond embarrassed and the whole situation has ruined me. I guess I have no where to turn to and I feel very alone :(
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What's your name?
>>
you're screwed.

you can email the website to take it down.
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>>17740984
Go and see a lawyer

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My dad just got off of a Skype call with me and I've never felt so conflicted.

He was crying and pleading with me not to change my last name when I get married. He said he doesn't want to lose his little girl.

I also don't want to offend my fiancé by keeping my last name and the having to go through the process with our possible future children.

This is really bothering me and I really need some help.
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You gotta tell your dad to fuck off. I know of like 3 women that have been divorced because of the last name bullshit and it killed the man on the inside and made them resent her. Is it a "stupid" tradition? Maybe. But it's kind of a big deal to us guys. Your dad sounds weird as fuck. He has to let his daughter go. This is like the only tradition I think is actually worth adhering to in modern society. Change your damn last name. You will still be his daughter if you do. But he's gotta realize that your husband is going to be the #1 man in your life.
>>
You can keep your last name and just have your kids take on your husbands last name. That way, it's kind of a win-win.
>>
>>17738925
Do you think I can make them both happy by making it hyphenated?

Welcome to the NEET/shut-in improvement thread!

>old thread
>>17729607

>Discord
https://discord.gg/AAhJ6eR

Join us for help on improving your life, becoming more social or just helping people with these things! All are welcome, as long as you follow the rules.

>What do I do in the threads?
Ask people for advice on your NEET-related/social problems, or join our discord group to do the...
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>>17737607
Bumping for my friends.
>>
Not a NEET, but I genuinely enjoy helping people. And I'd like to contribute what I can.
>>
20 years old, never had a job. How do I start?
I don't know what to put on my curriculum, I don't know what kind of job I should seek first, I have terrible social anxiety.

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The thread for people who've realised that time really isn't on their side.

Last thread>>17707081
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>29 male
>just became a registered nurse
>still living the NEET lifestyle
>taking my sweet ass time to look for job

life is good famalam
>>
>>17729923
>>17726648
>hipster hellscape

Walked past my local pub tonight after my wageslave shift. It's being redone as something for the hipsters/yuppies/students. And I could genuinely feel a weight on my chest at just how far and quickly the gentrification is happening. I didn't even drink at that place.

I still bet the fault will be laid on foreigners, the brown and...
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>27 KV

Occasionally I get asked why I seem miserable. I want to tell them I'm miserable "cos I've never had friends or any source of female affection for the past 20-odd years". What I tell them is "I'm just tired".

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How do you cope with the loss of your mother?
My mom just died, I don't know what to do.
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>>17744286
Pic not related
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>>17744286
I'm sorry for your loss
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>>17744286
You're next on the chopping block, anon. Now that you're parents are dying you're up!

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How do i stop liking someone?
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>>17744213
Yeah. I need help in that too
bump
>>
Trying to get over an ex?

Weed and vitamins are doing more for me than booze and wanking, if that helps.
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>>17744220
I don't smoke weed and no, not an ex. A crush with a boyfriend to be exact.

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how small is a small penis? when erect and flaccid.
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Erect - sub 5 inches
Flaccid- does it really matter
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>>17744137
>does it really matter
true
and thanks for your input
>>
>>17744122
its not the size its how you use it. practice cunnligus. the more multiple orasms you give she wont worry how big your dick is or isnt

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Some of my friends I feel really close to spend some of their time wandering outside, just taking a walk for the sake of walking outside, in the street, the forest. I never did this but it feels like something I would enjoy. I don't know why I'ne never done it. I have a social life and spend a lot of my time outside of my house but I never wander alone in the streets. Do you sometimes take a walk without a real reason? Is it really a good experience? Please tell me why I should do it.

I feel very autistic for asking that question but I honestly wonder.
11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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If you mean walking just to think, then yes, I often do that, and it's a great idea. It goes you time to reflect upon your lie and be more peaceful. I honestly don't know why you took this to 4chan, but yeah. I agree with walks. Especially long ones.
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>>17744111
life* lol OCD
>>
>>17744094
I love wandering and just taking walks by myself or with people I really like. I live in the city, but really close to nature and to a few parks so I have the possibility to just leave my flat and be in the mid of the forest. But still I only get around to it every few months or so. A ton of things can get in the way of that and it can make you forget about it for a while. So I could see how it never even ocurred to you to just take a walk, if you're a busy person or if you have other hobbies that take up a...
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Hey /adv/,

I met an attractive girl and we have each other's numbers.

I want to ask her on a date, maybe go somewhere to eat. I have a few questions:

1. I want her to pay her share at the place. I will not pay for both of us. Do I mention that when I first ask her if she wants to grab something to eat, or when we're already in the resteraunt?

2. Is a $$ Yelp place good for a first date?

3. What do we do after we eat? Do we just go somewhere else fun? Any cost-efficient ideas?

4. What time do I ask her? By this I mean 2 things:...
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>>17744010
Also, as you can probably tell, I'm a kissless handholdless virgin who has never had a girlfriend or been on a date, or even asked a girl out.
>>
1. Depending on the girl, this might be her initial action. If you want to avoid awkwardness, consider saying something along the lines of 'hey, is it cool if we split the bill? I only have a card/insert cash amount here'. It goes without saying, but don't just outright tell her to pay her part of the bill.

2. If it's good, sure. You don't want to go TOO fancy on the first date, especially if you don't know where you're at yet. Just avoid fast food and go somewhere in the middle--that way if she's not your type you won't be...
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>>17744040
>4. Just ask her when you see her--sooner the better. You want enough time to ensure she's free the day that you want to go out. For example, if you want to do something on Saturday, ask her on Monday or Tuesday, not Thursday or Friday.

We don't have any classes together and I only know her through a mutual friend. We've spoken for maybe two hours throughout the semester, counting today for maybe 10 minutes, which is why I want to make a move soon, since for all...
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>tfw will never feel confident around women
>tfw will always get overly attached to any girl that shows the slightest bit of interest
>tfw can't ever approach women and talk to them in bars/parties
>tfw all the attractive girls in my school drive me absolutely insane

What do /adv/
30 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Look better (fashionable), take care of yourself, etc etc.
People think that they'll start doing that shit when they've found the one that makes them happy
Bullshit
You reap what you sow. Put effort into your looks, confidence, etc and you will prosper. Also, treat yourself better. There's nothing creepier to a girl than a needy guy
>>
>>17743931
Yeah, whenever I ask for advice it's pretty much met with "you just gotta be better man".

I get what you mean, and I know you're right, it just "fixing myself" seems like such an overwhelming task, and something I can just never wrap my head around
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>>17743889
ugh, this might seem counter productive, but in my case making more female acquaintances has actually increased my confidence and decreased my natural incline to get attached.

Try looking into it, it's been working for me. Now I can talk looking into my classmates' eyes pretty close and not feel like going insane because I can't have them.

I posted this a bit ago but I wrote very poorly and did a bad job of explaining the situation, so here we go again, i need help.


>gf of 2 years

So I am very much in love with this girl, and she loves me very much. we spend most of our time together and usually have a good time. 10/10 looks and a good girlfriend (supportive and semi independednt.) Problem: For the first year of our relationship I broke up with her around 8 times because of various reasons (changing me, not liking my friends, needing too much attention). From what...
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>>17743879
>My problem is that she cant seem to get over the times where I had broken up with her.

Seems pretty fair tbqh. To break up with her that many times over nothing, sure seems like you don't give a shit
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>>17743879
I think you have it sort of right. You need to just give it time to rebuild your trust. Don't blame it on BPD because as you say that's just not gonna work (and I also don't think it's BPDs fault).

You fucked up by breaking up with her all the time, now you have to hope you have enough time left to salvage things. Don't give her shit for mistrusting you, for now that's absolutely fair. And don't break up with her over this.
>>
>17743896

Yeah i know, it was fucked up but im willing to do anything to make it right.

im looking for advice

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>male 21y old university student
>have this 23y old female friend I turn assignments in with since a year ago
>recently she asks me if I want to go eat with her group of friends
>I'm what you would call a loner, just go to uni to study and accept her offers so I don't look awkward towards her
>her group are just girls of her age, mostly vegans (but all 7+/10 no shit) and they talk only about their bfs, love shit,...
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>>17743851
Say no
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>>17743960
ok, somehow you're right with being harsh. I hope she will stop asking if I keep declining.
>>
>>17743851
>so I can go into the library and actually study
>What would be a polite way to decline her offers
are you retarded?
>i can't go, i need to study
you fucking retard

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Hey guys, i have a friend who is really poor. He cant afford himself a Pc and needs it for school tough. Can i somehow recommend him a cheap laptop? Or is building a pc by yourself cheaper? He doesnt play any games , just for simple stuff like power point presentations, internet research etc. How much would it cost?
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>>17743755
If he has constant access to Internet:
Chromebook.
>>
If he needs it for school, he can use school computers. You don't need a laptop for school, and if he's really that poor, he's better off saving that money.
>>
>>17743837
>>17743844
Basically this. Chromebooks are great for college and they'll cost around 150 bucks, but schools should have some sort of lab he could go to.

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>people have always made my life shit
>Food has always been there to cheer me up
And I'm supposed to stop eating shit so I can get a job and a girlfriend?
I would rather eat myself to death
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>>17743690

Then do it. But you aren't going to enjoy it - mainly the health conditions and how morbidly obese you become.

People make your life shit, but it's up to you to do something about it - instead of complaining to anonymous strangers and saying you'd rather get fat and die.
>>
>>17743690
just make sure you die at home fatty. Don't need your fat ass clogging the hospital hallway.
>>
You use food to self-medicate. I know people like that. If they can't get the happiness they use they turn to the little bit of reward your brain gives you from eating. It's almost like using drugs for happiness, it's doing something harmful that gives you a mental reward because you don't get enough reward out of your life.

First step is to see a mental health professional. See if there's something like depression that is affecting you, and take steps to fix that. If you find yourself unable to take those steps or find that the steps taken don't...
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I live in the uk and i know what some people are like, so i want to know what weapons are legal to carry with you at all times.Is a pocket knife legal?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17743629
Unfortunately your country considers a weapon to be anything anyone can call a weapon. You could brandish a pen as a joke freak out someone and get charges.

Best bet is a not obviousness conceal carry.
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>>17743640
So can i carry a pocket knife or what? Obviously, i'll conceal it and only bring it out when necessary.So can i carry it if i do all that? Your answer was not clear.
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>>17743645
You can't carry shit. Move out of Britain or wait for Brexit to fix everything.

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>interested in rawdogging the gf
>long story short she can't get birth control

Does anyone have any experience with other over-the-counter contraception like sponges and female condoms? Can they be trusted?
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>>17743608
use a condom.

never trust a girl who "can't take birth control" to deal with contraceptives.
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>>17743608
>long story short she can't get birth control
You have to be 18 or older to post here.
>>
I have not heard of sponges (other than as natural tampons) but I have looked into female condoms once for similar reasons.

Personally I would never do it. The good thing is that they are deep inside the vagina so you don't feel them. The bad things are primarily:
>they need to be manufactured individually, and if the person making it fucks up and doesn't 100% get the shape right sperm still gets through
>some women have anatomy that is laid out so that when their bowels are full, they press up against...
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Why do I fall in love with every woman (or sometimes man) that shows me the least bit of attention? Just meeting them, small conversations or even hellos make me grow somewhat of a bond for them, I always fall for them. I think it may have something to do with my current gf, who dictated friends and doesnt really let me talk to girls. But could this be responsible for even making me fall for my cousins? Please help
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17743577
>or sometimes men
Eww faggot.
>>
So, you have a girlfriend but "fall in love" with any bitch that gives you a bit of attention? Do you even like the friends you have?
>>
>>17744064
I mean, I only have a fee but yea, I like them. They can be assholes sometimes but whatever, yunno?

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About 3 weeks ago I placed an order for a leather jacket from the brothers cut. About 4 times I've sent them messages or emails over the past couple weeks about it but have not gotten ANY response. I just sent them one more message asking to get figured out what's going on. If they still don't respond is there a way to report it? I spent a hundred bucks and it was definitely charged, even shows on my bank activity report. But yeah this is frustrating that I haven't even gotten a response on this because at this point they're just taking my money. I get they're busy, but not even a simple email is unacceptable. Pic related, it's the jacket.

Also, yes, the address I have is accurate as well as my email and phone information.
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Never heard of this store, but one of the first things I saw when I googled it was "The Assassin's Hoodie". That alone tells me you're paying exorbitant prices for cheap Chinese shit.
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>>17743516
The assassin hoodie is only like 30 bucks. That's not terrible considering they do free shipping. Anyways disregarding any of that, is there a way to report something like this?
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>>17743518
Contact your credit card company. Also my point was that you're going to be incredibly disappointed when you get it, nothing you buy from any site that resells things like that hoodie is going to be worth the money you paid, especially if it's the sort of place that gives you free shipping with every order. If anything, you got scammed more because you spent $100 instead of just $30.

Boyfriend dumped me because I voted trump
We've been together since we were in highschool. Im 21 now. He said he can't be with someone who will vote to set us back into the middle ages. Hes scared his gay brother will get arrested and that the USA will become some kind of nazi germany with trump. I can't believe He's buying all that CNN crap. I showed him all those emails and hes saying they were forged by the russians. I can't believe this happened and that he'd turn out so dumb
Do you think I should try to get him back after trump wins tomorrow?
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>>17743482
no, you should come get with me so we can MAGA together
>>
>>17743482
Even though this is fake, it won't matter because you "bf" will probably kill himself tomorrow anyways for all the oppressed illegal immigrants
>>
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>>17743482
No. You should hook up with me so we can make your vagina great again.

Unless you're a faggot. In which case, stay there. The NSA is already tracking your proxies. Enjoy your FEMA relocation camp.

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>going to college that I don't like to get job i don't like
>don't really know what to do
>i've never enjoyed anything, I have no idea whether to keep going with this or try something else


???
8 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Find something you like or at least will be successful in.
>>
Accept that life sucks and select the shit sandwich that you think will suck the least.
>>
>>17743453
that's the thing, i've never really liked or enjoyed anything

I don't have any goals in life, i really don't even want to be alive, i just sort of exist and i go to college because it's expected of me.

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I think I'm about to lost my job.

I work as ti assistant of hardware in this company for almost 3 years now and today I fucked 2 notebooks mobo of 3k each one, I telled the truth and the owners are trying to fix my errors, they still in silence and I'm here without pernission to do work because I'm "anxious" and to not fuck anything more..
I'm 31 yo and do not have college or any graduation and I'm really freaking out
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>>17743422
And I really getting sick of TI area, I do not know what to do or career I should take.. some adv?
>>
>>17743422
Start looking for another job.

You fucked up. You were probably high and thinking about virgins at work. Why do you think you should keep your position, when someone who wants to do a good job is just waiting to fill your spot?
>>
>>17743422
wow , ehglish bad
i hope you not loss job !

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How big of a turnoff/deal breaker is a receding hairline for women (in general)

I'm only 20 and just became aware of the fact that I may be balding, my scalp is fine though and my hairline is far back but I don't think it's nearly as bad as older men. In fact it's much like how it is in this picture, plus I picked up some rogaine/nizoral to treat it before it gets any worse.

Also hair loss general, seeking any advice that would help (going bald is not an option)
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>>17743409
Not at all.
Pic related looks really hot.
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>>17743416
Good to hear, I have a very similar hairstyle except mine is much longer. I'' thinking though of getting it down to this and more squared so it accentuates the spot less.
>>
>>17743416
Given that it isn't a male model though, would a somewhat bald spot on the side like that would bother you in a potential mate or be a turn off?

does anyone know a few good self-improvement books?

should I consider reading some philosophy too or no?
12 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Depends on what your goal is. How's your mentality these days?
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>>17743402
>>17743402
I want to focus on improving my overall state of being especially my confidence

Mentality has been rocking all over the place recently...
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>>17743413
Go and talk to a clinical therapist senpai.
Self help is a sham.

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I'm having a panic attack over all the books I need to read, and papers to go through, and 135438 things I need to practice every day and putting on sunscreen every 3 hours and cooking and cleaning and paying bills I can't do it anymore

I'm literally living in a bin right now because I can't cope with adult life

And there are so many things I want to do and learn about but I can't do it all or read everything it's just so overwhelming

Advice?
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I can't offer you any advice, though what I can offer you is a sympathetic bump since I am in the exact same boat.
>>
Don't plan too far ahead, and if you have to, just keep it vague.
Be ready for something to go wrong and to understand that it's part of being human.
If something isn't that urgent, leave it for another time. If it all really is that overwhelming, it'd be okay to just barely get by for a while.
Find things you like to do and make time to do them. Listen to calm music, lo-fi is a good start.
Imagine to yourself that you can always just become a nomad, just living out of a backpack and living life with every footstep.
Feel like it all seems like...
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If you feel you have too much to do just start at the beginning and do as much as you can. Freaking about it won't help get shit done.

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how much safer is vaping compared to smoking? what were the health effects you noticed going from one to the other?
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bronchiolitis obliteraans
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On the objective scale of comparisons, way the fuck safer.
On the practical scale, weed is still safer than vaping and is going to cause health problems. Just less severe ones than cigarretes. Still bad though. Popcorn lung.
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>>17743349
>weed
>safe
>actually imblyign

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Any worthwhile/tried and proven tips or advice on moving out the first time? Prefeably something you cant just google and read youself. Planning on apartment, doesn't matter where or how shitty cuz I'll fix it up an all, possibly with 1 to 2 roommates.
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If you're the type asking for advice about this maybe roommates aren't a good idea, it may sound appealing now but never underestimate peace and quiet, free from anxiety and annoyance.
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>>17743304
Unless you know roommates very well, it can be a fucking disaster and you will want to kill yourself. It's a jungle out there
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>>17743304
Good luck apartments where i live you he too get a landlord too fix everything you cant just fix it

I'm a guy, and almost all the girls I've been REALLY turned on by have identified as bisexual. This is after getting to know them, get a feel for their personality. They've typically been cooler, and I like the way they carry themselves.

Do bisexual girls ever date straight men monogamously? How do I compete with men AND women when vying for a bisexual girls attention, love and commitment?
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>>17743262
I'm bisexual and have been in a monogamous six year relationship with a straight man.

I don't know how most bisexual girls view commitment. A lot of my friends are bisexual, and mostly like me in the sense that they are monogamous with whoever they are committed to (male or female). There are some that don't see hooking up with a girl as not cheating and do invite women to the bedroom. I'm personally against that though.

While I find women attractive, I brush off any man or woman...
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>>17743262
>Do bisexual girls ever date straight men monogamously?
No, literally never.
t. someone who has been married to a bisexual woman for five years

>How do I compete with men AND women when vying for a bisexual girls attention, love and commitment?
Same way you compete with men -- be really cool and fun and desirable? Don't overthink this, man. There are a lot of bisexual girls out there, and despite the stereotypes, they're no less...
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It helps to set boundaries early on.
If you're constantly talking about how hot it is that she's been with girls, don't be surprised if she takes that as an invitation to keep girls on the side.

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I work at a big law firm (roughly 100 of us working here we have our own floor in a very prestigious building in Miami). Shits always been very chill despite the fact that it is a pretty hectic profession.

Recently our firm hired a human resources director following an incident where a coworker told another to kill herself and she tried to later on that day. Let me tell you, this lady is a prick. Here are among the rule changes she has implemented
1. No music at your desk of any kind. Not even the AM fucking radio.
2. No cell phone use at any time (fair)
3....
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This bitch has been here for 2 weeks and has come up with all this bullshit.
The kicker is that this lady comes into the office for 2 hours a day max and leaves afterward but the boss gave her smart phone access to the cameras so she can check up on us.
As a senior paralegal I have told my attorney about how I feel about these rule changes and he agrees and he himself has spoken to the head attorney about this shit and his response is "I know, but we have to do what we have to do". I'm seriously thinking about resigning my position. How do I deal with this shit?
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I assume you're not the only one who's butthurt about it. Make a detailed complaint about her, get everyone you can to sign it and show it to all her superiors and then to her.

Be sure to mention that some of you (the people who signed) are considering resigning because of her.
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>>17743181
You are now the victim of a hostile work environment. See an attorney.


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