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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 196. page
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What do you do if your girlfriend, who is someone you really love, says she wants to us to become serious, but for reasons you're not ready?

The reason I feel so conflicted is because of my past. For years and years I convinced myself I would never get a girlfriend and never get married. It was thoughts I had by choice. Well, starting a relationship with her happened on accident, it was random. But I'm glad it happened because she's wonderful. just I feel so conflicted with this "serious" thing. What does that even mean? What does going serious...
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>>17721425
Why don't you ask her to define serious? Just put it under the guise that you wanna be on the same ground since serious can have different meanings for everyone.
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>>17721643
She wants me to give up my three nsa sex friends and go monogamous.
>>
>>17721425

If you really love her what are you worried about? And like the other person said just ask her what she means by getting serious. She could mean moving in together or even something as small as spending more time together or meeting each others families etc.

>>17721818

I'm going to assume that isn't you because you already stated you didn't know what she meant when she said to get serious.

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So /adv/ I think my parents are fucked
>be 18
>me and my parents paid for the same phone company
>After third payment, parents say they won't pay for this month because its pretty fucking expensive (Sprint)
>The phones that we got, were all LG G5's
>The deal was buy 2 get another free, and so they went with that
>We ended up keeping the phones since they stopped paying for the...
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>get phones on a deal
>think you can stop paying with no repercussions
You and your family are all dumbasses
>>
youre the reason why we're building the wall.
i hope you get deported
>>
>buy something you can't afford
>stop paying on it
>lose it
>think it just works itself out and everything is fine

lolololol they probably still make payments on their cars, too.

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So I have a pretty huge issue to work through, /adv/, lend me your eyes for just a moment if you would.
I've been living with my gf and her parents for over two years now (they took my homeless ass off the street when I got kicked out of a foster home on my 18th bday, both of my parents are deceased) and we've had a great time. When the relationship started she was a little over 15 and I was a little over 17, about 2 and a half years difference.
As you might expect with a girl so young, I was her first everything. Her first (male) kill, her first boyfriend,...
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>>17721397
>her first (male) kill
OP confirmed for spooky ghost

move along everyone, just another halloween prankster
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>>17721423
connection issues im sorry aah dont shoot
>>
>cony
Anyway, now that we're here, two years later, we both want to experience more of life. And part of experiencing life and growing up is dating other people, and developing emotional/physical bonds with them. Im gonna be living on campus, and I told her straight up I plan to fuck around with as many girls as I possibly can, she's never cared about that so it wasnt a problem- However. She also intends to seek out new interests. We have both ascertained that we want to end up together in the end. A longer term hiatus without either...
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I'm 18, senior in highschool. I get with girls usually every weekend at a party but i've never gotten w a girl from my school
Anyway there is this app for my school and these thirsty girls were talking about wanting to hu with a senior so i commented my kik and told them to hmu
A few did but they were igly then there was one with a nice ass body
We were talking and she asked for a pic and i sent her the cringiest picture ever and shes lile sorry not interested. Anyway, lately when i finish my workout i look buff af and took some shirtless pics (i'll post)...
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Dude, you're a guy. You're not gonna be able to pull women with pics the same way women can with men. That only works on guys because we are attracted to females on a very visual level. Its different for girls. You're literally using bitch tactics.
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>>17721395
i read nothing you typed but you seem like an insecure faggot lmao

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Jesus Christ i need help guys fast, not too long ago some chick asked me for my number, now I am a kissless virgin so naturally i panic but gave it to her, she texted me here and there saying she wants to get to know me better, now recently I flat out let her know I was shy as fuck and a virgin, thinking she would lose interest after that but nope she kept texting me, now she even sent me a selfie and like I said I don't know how to respond to all this or act, I am in no way planning on just getting some and letting it go, I am a virgin by choice and advice giving to me...
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>>17721380
Calm your tits its not math man after all that shit and you even telling her your a virgin she definitely likes you, just keep it cool compliment her on pics and take your time.
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>>17721380
You might as well take this opportunity, later on you'll feel happy that you talked to a girl.
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>>17721434
This

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How do I take my mind away from this pain? Even if only for a moment?
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Get help.
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>>17721359
From who? I've been getting help from professionals for years.

I feel like the only people that could truly help with loneliness would be family and friends

I don't have family anymore. I lost all of my close friends years ago.
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>>17721352
Talk to someone.

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I started antidepressants today. Apparently this shit takes like 4 weeks to kick in.

What can I expect? Will I be happy or just numb to the shitty feelings?
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>>17721313
It varies. It turned out I had bipolar disorder so I felt like my brain was being turned inside out.
>>
Different people react differently

For me, after upping my dose to 100mg / day, I started to see the ground warp in front of my eyes and I walked around with a stupid grin on my face most of the time because I was high enough not to be sad. It's not happiness, it's more like being too drugged to know better.

It will probably either end up numbing your emotions or exacerbating them
>>
It varies.

I didn't know I had bipolar disorder so I had worsened anxiety on one, switched to another and had a manic episode.

Not saying this to scare you. I'm on a mood stabilizer now and it just makes me feel more level and like it's easier to function. Like even if I am depressed that day it's easier to get out of bed. So I imagine if your med is working right for you that's how it would feel.

Just be cautious, call your doctor if it makes you feel worse emotionally or you feel like your emotions don't match what's...
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I think I have aspergers. Every sign points to it. I'm terrified of getting formally diagnosed to find out for sure

Should I get diagnosed just to see, I'm so scared the answer will be yes. I don't know if knowing will ruin my life. Should I just go with "ignorance is bliss" and accept who I am?
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>>17721295

if you made it this far in life without ebing diagnosed than you dont have it. there is no cure and while they do offer therapies, they do box you in.

if you think you need counseling to get through life, get some without bringing up aspergers.

but dont go and get diagnosed, because then you'll use that as an excuse.
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>>17721304
I just have so many questions

Is there somebody underneath me, deep down inside, being sculpted by aspergers, or are people only ever their resultant sculpture? Is there a pure internal self, independent from one's neuroticisms?
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>>17721295
How will it help or harm your life to have a label for who you are?

On the other hand, knowing one way or the other can open doors to treatment/counseling/life choices that will be best for you.

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(P1) I've gone from fat shut in near neet to guy who looks pretty good, does clubs, hangs out with people, been to parties as recently as friday night and a kick back last night, etc etc, the works

Done it all in the hopes of getting laid and not being a virgin anymore, ideal way would be to get a girlfriend but I would accept something else

One time I got a half assed blow job from a semi drunk girl, could barely feel a thing, absolute let down, and I don't buy the whole too drunk for good technique thing, even when I was in control could barely feel...
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I'm failing all my classes because of this, I've made a pretty good life but I took everything I've got and in the process I neglected my classes, unless I can pull some kind of amazing stunt and really butter my professors up I'll have to withdraw to avoid my gpa being nuked

My mom wants me to go on anti depressants, and skip classes next semester she knows about whats going on
I view anti depressants as being the equivalent of getting drunk all the time to numb sadness

I wanna tell my friends what's going on (but a way more mild version...
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... Do you masturbate?

If you do, dont. Ever. And dont look at porn.


Then give it a week or two and your dick will literally pull you out of your comfort zone to find some vagina. Seriously, you'd be amazed.
>>
Also I forgot to say that I don't really feel any better after any of this getting a life stuff

Yeah parties are pretty cool, hanging out is nice and the addict friend is fun and funny and so is the other guy we are friends with

So I guess instead of constant misery and apathy its like mostly the above mixed in with a few hours of "pretty nice" here and there

Also some people have told me you cant get a girlfriend and be miserable at the same time, i've made a lot of "how to get a girlfriend" threads recently, and if so that's...
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Went to get my hair dyed blonde for Halloween this year. It was a pretty fancy place with some of the most expensive cuts around, I cut my hair all the time there and they're extremely professional, so I trusted them.

The guy fucked up twice. My hair is light brown/dark blonde, first time I went there he made me a ginger. I got home and immediately called them, so they told me to go there the next day to fix it. Not only did he burn my scalp to extreme amounts when bleaching my hair, but he left the hair dye for almost an hour, burning my scalp even further, and...
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Why are murrikans so obsessed with sueing everyone and everything?
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>>17721238
I don't know, why are you so obsessed with witch-hunting americans when english isn't even my native language?
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>>17721241
>waaaaa stop witch-hunting me
More typical murrikan self-victimised behaviour.

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why should I put in the time and effort to obtain used roast that Chad can get with no effort?
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>>17721210
u should probably put the time and effort into not being such a fat dumb piece of shit lmao >>>/r9k/
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>>17721210

becuase you want to.

but if you dont want to, then dont do it. no one says you SHOULD want to or have to want to.

do whatever you want. we literally don't care.
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>>17721215
I think we've got a toasty roastie on our hands boys.

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I want to know how you felt about your life and life in general pre - first getting laid and post - getting laid
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What changed? Absolutely nothing.
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>>17721171
it did not change shit i was just like "cool" so yea. She was loud as shit and came a lot so that was nice, but yea idk what you're trying to get out of a question like virgin lmao
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>>17721171

virtually no difference. sex was still only a small tiny facet of life, similar to masturbation.

masturbation does not change life. just small parts of your day.

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Date just ended with hospital.

>Known girl for years
>I'm 22, she is 23
>She is 4'11" so fucking tiny
>Our first date ever
>Things go well and I take her back to my place
>Long story short we start having sex
>My dick is only 6.5 inches, but its rather thick
>I eat her out a bit, and get her ready

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hlep
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>>17721142
>Should I even bother talking to her again or what?
of course. you showed kindness by driving her to the hospital and waiting for her. call her and ask her if she feels better and blabla
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Show her you care by asking her out on another date.

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There are people on my facebook who are dating somebody, but not only do they just hide their relationship status, they have it posted up as 'single'.

Why is this a thing? Are they afraid that facebook official='too serious'? Or is there something else to it?
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Because FBO is silly high school shit.

Posting a picture together is the new relationship indicator now.
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>>17721124
But why leave it as single if you aren't single? Why not just say 'in a relationship'?
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>>17721128
Because no one gives a fuck. The people most important in your life and other people you hang out with KNOW that you're dating someone else, so it's redundant. It's the same reason for me not posting my job on FB. I have one, but I'm not gonna post that I work at Buttfuck Industries.

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>tell us why you would be a great team member and what sets you apart from other candidates

How would you answer this bullshit?
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i give great BJs

but srsly, i would say something along the lines of being an excellent learner (good at learning from watching others), hard worker and have a strong work ethic.

and also talk about experience you've had working in a team. i don't have work experience working in a team -really-, but i have experience working in teams while i was studying, and i got very good grades, so i'd talk about the success i've had in that regard, even in a group of people i didn't know beforehand, and even when not everyone in the group got along,...
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>I'm a problem solver. Whenever I encounter a challenge all I think about is how to overcome it and what resources, people, and knowledge that will help me do so.
>I think my GPA will attest to my confidence here

That's what I'd say
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>>17721129
This.

Also, mention you are comfortable leading, but work great as a follower as well. Tell them you are always trying to learn and improve, and want the same for your team mates, because it means that everyone's work will be higher quality.

In terms of how you are different from others, say something along the lines of "I'm the kind of person who takes any job very seriously, and I am always seeking ways to grow and excel. Whether I'm sweeping a floor, in charge of a till, or leading a team. I'm committed to every task."

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Hey guys, I am a 22 year old male currently in the university living in Western Europe, in my country it's quite common for people my age still living with their parents and not getting part-time jobs most of the time so do keep that in mind while reading my post.

So, short story short, I am graduating around June 2017 but until then I have plenty of free time, A LOT of free time, I've finished all my exams last week and since then I've been waking up at 3-4pm every day and going to bed way too late.

I want to make a change, I am already feeling...
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Gym.
The earlier you start the easier it is to continue

It'll even help your future job prospects
>>
What kind of things do you like? Do you live in a big city?
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>>17721081
I have considered it, I have a close friend who attends daily and it helps him a ton. I am just not sure if I am the gym type, I've thought about joining the Judo Dojo from my university club, it'd help me keep in shape and at the same time I think learning a self defense tool would increase my self esteem (I always avoided fights pretty well, but I think just knowing that if things escalate you have some tools to possibly deal with the situation would result in an increase of self esteem).

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I feel like I'm a very unattractive person and I was wondering if anyone had any advice. Pic related was taken a few weeks ago, here's an album of some pictures I took of myself today while sailing http://imgur.com/a/srKyj
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You've got an attractive face. Your only problem is that you're prematurely balding.

As you get older, you will develop a more and more rugged masculine look. Embrace that--unlike most people, you will grow more attractive with age.
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>>17721056
If i am to be utterly hypercritical of you:

1) Nah, balding aint the most attractive thing, but also not the end of the world

2) Your bone structure is definitely above average.

3) Overall you're definitely above average in attractiveness imo
>>
You need hair

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I am way too susceptible to authority figures. Its probably because of my childhood or something, idk, but its a problem.

If someone with even the slightest bit of authority (lecturer, security guars, landlord, even "that popular guy" in my social circle) crticizes or accosts me my heart will race, I'll feel like shit for 2 or 3 days and I'll replay the moment in my head for literally months. This can be ridiculously trivial - a librarian telling me to be quiet, a receptionist telling me I put a nonrecyclable in the wrong bin, whatever.

My friends...
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>>17721020
Bump cause I can relate
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>>17721020
idk it sounds like you have a low self opinion of yourself. Maybe you feel weak comparative to them? out of curiosity, which city?
>>
>>17721020
>librarian tells you to shut up
>receptionist tells you you put the thing in the wrong thing
>you broke the law by trespassing on someone's property

>how do I stop being subservient???

That's not the issue. The issue is you need to stop being a goddamn prick. Everything you listed was a wrong caused entirely by you. You SHOULD feel bad, because you're breaking...
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I'm super fucking pissed, can't sleep because of it

What should I do in this situation?
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>>17720992
smoke weed lmao
>>
yell at me, im feeling pretty shit too so no good mood to spoil and blah blah blah just go

what are you pissed about?
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>>17720992
Ask yourself why you are angry.
Ask yourself what are your other emotional options.
Choose a less aggressive emotion.
Reassess.
Repeat until calm.

This is mindfulness.

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>24 year old virgin

Help me get laid /adv/. I'm 5'10 skinny fat 150 lbs. pretty much no social life outside of talking to people in school and work. Where do I start?
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I don't recall making this thread, but it is eerily similar to my life. I think we are the forgotten people, OP
>>
Why don't you go the gym?
>>
>>17720980
Follow this step by step guide and don't pussy out on any of it, and you'll get all the pussy or dick you want

If you're gay\bi:
>download grindr
And you're done enjoy the cock and ass

If straight:
> download bumble, only girls are allowed to send the first message
> respond to any and everyone even if landwhale, and practice talking even if it is just over the app and have no intention...
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guys i've been looking everywhere to find this M&M mug to make a joke to my brother. please help me find that and ill give you 1000 internets
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Do monasteries have some kind of requirements for entrance? Like a background check or something? Can anyone just walk in and say he wants to become a monk?
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>>17720898
Identify which religion/type of monk you want to be. Use Google to learn about the process monks of that denomination go through to become monks.

You're going to look like a big retard if you just show up at a monastery and ask how to be a monk.
>>
>>17720918
I'm white and have zero interest in learning another language so I've settled to christian. I'm trying to google that shit right now, I just thought at least one of y'all might have something useful to say, even if you don't.
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>>17720929

except for how he did.

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i need help guys, i took about 17+ advils & i was wondering if that would kill me (i'd assume not) and how it could effect me.
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It won't kill you, maybe stress out your liver a bit but that's it. Over the counter pills are a quarter of prescription level and even those levels are safe to take for a few days on end.
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>>17720846

Yes, go to the doctor you fuckin weirdo
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>>17720846
Why?

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Do I need to be attractive to talk to a girl?
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If she's attractive, yes.
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No, just talk to them while they're working. Most service oriented jobs like McDonalds have a rule where you can't use hate speech like creep or rapist.
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>>17720856
What if she is attractive but she doesn't know it?

Hey guys! Im planning on suecide my self very soon from now. I was wondering if u could advice me on how to do it without getting my organs useful so they can be doated for people who need them. The lees harm I can make to my body, the better.
I just wanna stop living, not taking away the chance of living from others.
Thanks!
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I even belive there was a Dr House in wich he tells the father of a patient how to do it
>>
Plus it would be great if its in a way they cant save me.
i wanted to get it done in the waiting room of a hospital so as soon as i die they can yake out all my organs
>>
I don't think there is a safe way to kill yourself. But hey, try putting your head in a trash bag and tie that shit shut

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i'm interested on expand my english so I was playing dark souls and I found interesting this poetry manner of speaking(NPC history).
How can I found more content of this kind? or how it is called? thank you!
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>>17720697
You mean how they speak mixes of old english with contemporary?

I still think on that creature from the Abyss that preyed upon me.
My faculties were far from lucid, but I quite clearly sensed certain emotions.
A wrenching nostalgia, a lost joy, an object of obsession, and a sincere hope to reclaim it…
Could these thoughts belong to the beast from the Abyss?
But if that were true, then perhaps it is no beast after all?
Oh, please forgive my ramblings.
It's just that, I wish to know...
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>>17720715
exactly, yeah also on bloodborne.I'm not a big fan of books or poetry but after playing ds series I develop some need of it!
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>>17720697
Bump.

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It's been a while since I've posted here (on /adv/) but I need some help, there are these two girls I'm interested in and I can't decide which to go after. One is an asian girl and the other is a Mexican girl. They're both curvy and attractive (but the Mexican girl has wider hips and is bustier.) I have things in common with both of them and know both of them personally so I'm not just perving on random people I don't know. I only know one of them (the asian) is single for a fact though because she told me. I have similar music tastes to the...
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>>17720693
IT'S
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>>17720702
THE
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>>17720711
NUTSHACK

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Am i asexual? I haven't been in a relationship for many years due that women these days only care about men with lotsa cash. And also i'm too old to date women. Don't get me wrong i ain't a faggot and i'm attracted to women but i've lost interest in getting back to the dating game sincei have not enough money and no women will be interested in me. Is losing interest in women dueto financial isuues is a trigger warning that i might be asexual?

p.s. I ain't a fag!
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Do you experience sexual attraction?

If yes, you're not asexual.

If no, then you're asexual.
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>>17720698

What if you don't experience sexual attraction because you know nobody will like you anyways?
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>>17720700

What?

If you see a hot girl in a movie, are you sexually attracted to her?

I think you're over thinking this, dude. You're also being suspiciously homophobic, so I'd wager you're just unable to really come to terms with what you're experiencing.

So, here's the thing, I don't know if this is a problem or not but I am kinda content this way actually.

Recently, I've started to realize the futility of wanting something, because of the hedonic treadmill. I've also realized that there's no self/free will. I've also finally realized how there's an abundance of suffering caused simply by the nature of being.

So, I've become more or less emotionally recluse, nothing really matters to me.. but not in a painful "damn it! nothing matters!" way more like "oh, nothing...
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>>17720666

Buddhism is the path to the darkside, as indicated by your post number.

Anyway, basically, if you don't care about anything, why even live?

Keep in mind that Buddhism was invented for people who really had no choice but to accept their suffering. You may not have free will, but people who believe in willpower have it (10)% proofed by dem studys yo). Anyway, seriously, studies have shown that people who don't believe in willpower can't exercise it. You are basically choosing to be lazy. Aight.
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>>17720687
Yeah.

Because of my purpose. I'm just wondering if I should feel this way while fulfilling my purpose.

No, free will is a concept that makes no sense. And who said anything about willpower? ... and being lazy? What?
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>>17720703

Too lazy to explain. Not arguing for free will, agree with determinism, both nature and nurture. This conversation is environmental aspect of your free will - i.e. you are influenced by it and you react to it. So by having a certain belief, your fate is influenced.

Buddhism = lazy life philosophy. Your OP = Buddhism. My captcha had a Buddha. Creepy.

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Not sure if this is normal and want to know if there's a way to get my gf to have "normal" sex more often.
My gf is REALY ball obsessed to the point that I'm not sure it's really a normal thing anymore. She's always trying to play with them when we're not doing anything and pretty much every morning she wants me bent over or laid out so she can mess with them and put ball cuffs on them and stuff. She's even stayed a few Times before that she wished I had four balls and I think she might be serious. Half the time instead of actually...
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haha that's hilarious
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>>17720608

Best post on adv in months.
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I'm glad you guys find my life entertaining but advice would be great.


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