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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 203. page
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I don't like going out. I'm not really good at socializing and the people around me aren't that interesting to me. My classmates go to bars and I have no desire to follow. The last party I attended was boring as fuck; I spent half the time listening to conversations while trying to add something, to fit in, but I did not have much to say and the conversations were not *with* me but *by* me.

The problem is that I keep getting the classic no gf feel and it's making me lose my mind. With the years of being alone and isolated, since I have found very few...
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take up a hobby or something that isn't vidya games, don't worry about meeting girls or not.
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>>17717064
>How the fuck do I get to know a girl?
You go to these parties, get drunk, try to flirt with them, fail horribly due to social incompetence, wake up the next day, realise what you did, kill yourself out of humiliation. I'm up to the last one now so I can tell you it's a guaranteed to work path. You'll never have to feel crippling lonliness again.
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>>17717101
I actually have plenty of hobbies, but they're all things you do alone. The not worrying part has been my strategy for several years yet here I am, on the road to kill myself or become a buddhist monk or some shit.

Is it considered "weird" to show up to a party by yourself? I got invited to it (some guys I know are throwing it) but my one friend I was suppose to go with is bailing.
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>>17717028
Not if you're friends with a bunch of people going.
Otherwise yes.
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>>17717028
no go ahead and mingle and you can leave whenever you want. I actually prefer to go solo
>>
If you're the sort of person who sits in the corner when they don't know anyone, yes.

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guys i got my penis stuck in a vacuum dont ask how i did it i just need advice on how to get it out
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Emergency room or fire department or just take apart the vacuum cleaner.

I really want to ask, but you said no. Kek.
>>
have you tried turning it off?
>>
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Just tell you vacuum cleaner to don't be so greedy, but first give him one more round.

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How can I stop being addicted to fast food?
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>>17716967
commit yourself to exercising, realize chicken nuggets and coke will just make you fat as shit down the line idk
>>
>>17716967
By learning about the human body. Realize that you are literally killing yourself slowly
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>>17716967
Just stop and don't stop. After about 2 weeks the craving will die down

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This is it /adv/. I don't know what to do.
I have a hopeless crush on a girl. and it kills me knowing she's probably getting fucked right now. I haven't eaten in days, I don't sleep. I'm just so depressed.
what do?
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Move the fuck on, detach yourself from her, go out meet people and forget about her.
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>>17716948
>she's probably getting fucked right now
And?
Why arnt you fucking someone as well?
>>
>>17716948
well maybe you are an asshole I dont know I also don't know a solution which personally suits you but I would do the following : you need to be hard for the rest of your life now , dont trust anyone anymore. From now one your biggest pleasure in life will be to fight. Existentialist Pain itself is the reason why you live, because you want to fight until they end even though you know all the odds are against you and you know that live has been unfair to you. Now you have one advantage to your fellow "alpha man". You can actually call yourself really tough now. Life has not been served to you on a table, you had to endure it all while the others took all your interests. Be Angry and Proud. (sry for my bad English)

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What's the least painless way to kill myself?
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setting yourself on fire.
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>>17716917
Now I could be wrong, but I think you're just rusing me.
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>>17716923
>least painless
if you mean least painful it's blowing your brains out with a shotgun

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I mean, it was a very easy test online and I was the first one who did it. Should I give them the answers or keep them to myself?
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Give them if they pay you

No such thing as a free lunch
>>
Yes, it is wrong and it could get you expelled. Just tell them to take the fucking test, it's easy. If they get mad at you for not aiding them in cheating, fuck them.
>>
remember there is more then one type of payment

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So I came into some money recently.

Im super fucking fat 5,8 approaching 300 pounds

I am also 30 years old.

What is the most effective way to get hot college girls to have nasty fucked up sex with me for money back at the penthouse I am renting.

Escort Agencies suck around here even though im in a major us city its all fake tittied ugly 40 year old bitches who talk about GFE and other fake shit. Acting like some shit they got at Victorias Secret on sale makes them a VIP Escort.

I want 19 year old girls to make me lick their asses and call...
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>>17716858
College age women are generally pretty weary of 30 year old men trying to abduct them or rape them.

With that being said, It's going to be tough.

Post on CL or backpage, or alternatively just for a woman into your car and explain you will give her money if she doesn't scream
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I have tried craiglist before and even tried luring them with the prospect of free rent at my penthouse Downtown. All I seem to get are time wasters and unhealthy looking black chicks. I also think one or two uc pigs. I gotta be careful how i word it due to fair housing laws and shit

I want volleyball girls who like receiving oral not trap queens
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you could try using a gun

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>sort want to break up with my girlfriend because we're LDR and frankly I think I could do better in terms of looks
>but I have literally zero other prospects right now
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>>17716787

Unless she's just so unattractive you can't fathom why you're with her then SHUT FUCK AND SYOP BEING A RETARDED BITCH.

If she has a great personality and you connect you should at least continue to try other wise if you have no attraction what so ever and want something better then MAN THE FUCK UP dump her in a sincere way and move on.
>>
Don't string her along just because you have nobody else
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>>17716787
>LDR
not really a gf

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I feel as if I can't say no to women.

reasons
>I want sexual experience
>I want sexual experiences
>I crave love/belonging
>I am existential and bored

details
>male
>22
>4 partners
>5/10

The problem is that it feels like these relationships are *happening* to me. We can't control who wants...
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>>17716782
No.
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>>17716890
>nobody else feels the same way
huh
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>>17716782
That's because you are just along for a ride
You can control what you do but most everything else in life just sort of happens to you

>get really close with a girl
>get comfortable, open up, she does the same
>realize she has been hurt before and it has changed her
>getting more close, but she is closed in certain areas of emotions

Why don't/can't people give them up completely to the other person even if they trust them? Are they scared?
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>>17716639
you will not understand until you have had a similar experience. if you step in a bear trap, or stick a fork in an electrical outlet, you will be hesitant (at the very least) to try again. same principle applies to your question.
t. damaged anon
>>
>Been hurt before
>WHY WONT SHE JUST COMPLETELY GIVE HERSELF TO ME WHOLLY AND OPENLY
Because it fucking hurts when it goes south you fat fucking idiot
>>
>>17716655
>>17716656
Describe me in words or suggest me literature/films. I haven't had experiences but I'm capable of feeling it using some medium.

So I got a job in retail and policy is we aren't allowed to have headphones in. I'm looking for a way to be able to discreetly listen to audiobooks/podcasts while at work. Was looking at micro bluetooth earpieces but most of the ones I find would still be to noticable or only lasts about 3 hours. I can wear a hat so I was thinking someway to be able to hid headphones in there might work.
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say it's a hearing aid, moran
>>
>we aren't allowed to have headphones in
>so i'm gunna wear headphones
I hope you get fired
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>>17716621
Do you understand what a fucking job is cunt? You literally got one of the lowest end/lowest skill jobs out there and before you've even been been there for a significant amount of time, you're already looking for ways to blatantly disregard policy?? Because you can't go 8 fucking hours without music?

I hope you change your attitude anon, because you won't last long in the work force.

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I don't like my girlfriend and being with her is making me miserable.
But everytime I attempt to even do so, she starts beating herself and threatening suicide.
It's exhausting. I know I don't love her. Being with her only because I don't wish for her to hurt herself.
What do I do so that she stops and we're able to separate peacefully.
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>>17716604
leave her, her own fault if she does something
>>
Check the video recording laws in your area. Is it legal to film someone w/o their consent? If yes, put your phone/camera on record when you break up with her. Be firm. When she starts freaking out and you have it on camera, then is the time to step outside for a moment. You can even placate her and tell her youll think about not leaving you just need a moment to yourself outside. That's when you call the police. Stand outside when they arrive and show them the video before going inside. Tell them how she's threatening suicide because you broke up with her, and ask...
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>>17716604

Contact a psychiatrist and tell him the details.
Then just dump her knowing that if she does hurt herself it will be the psychs fault for acting unprofessionally.

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My girlfriend keep testing our relationship, doing tests like about how I must eat 2 packets of super spicy ramen in 5 minutes because she ask me too, if i don't, I don't love her. I can't stand spicy stuff.

She said that at least I should try, that means I'm still putting effort into the relationship. And I'm like what the actual fuck? It's just fucking noodles. And now she's saying that I've never put my mind into the relationship and stuff.

What do guys?
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Why do you want to be in a relationship with a person that dumb?
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>>17716587
Honestly, I love her. There are some parts of the relationship that's freaking awesome, and some parts that is just plainly stupid.
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>>17716579
laugh in her face and give her the boot
i am having trouble believing that this person you describe is real, thats how ridiculous this is

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Why does everyone value sex so much.
t. Virgin man
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>>17716577
because it feelsgoodman
also this is subjective, there is no single answer that applies to everyone
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>>17716577
Well, personally, it just feels really good. I enjoy the rush of pleasure inside my body and looking at the other person's parts is very appealing to me. For some reason messing around with another person is also much more pleasureful than just fapping.
>>
>>17716577
The ironic part is that it's you who actually vales sex the most , which makes you needy , which turns off women universally .

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How do i spice up a text with a girl im trying to get?
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>>17716513
text her this:
"what's worse the holocaust?"
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>>17716625
Come on she not Jewish, i think.
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>>17716513
Tell her you got her mother as hostage. But to do this, you must kidnap her mother or else she can just call her.

is something wrong with my back?
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idk but you're cute
>>
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>>17716442
No just pull your shoulders back and stand up straight

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I'm taking some extracurricular classes lately, and there's a cute, introvert girl that I like. We once hanged out with some mutual friends, and since then we've had some small talks before/after our lessons.

Last week, I waited for her at the bus stop (her home is a bit far from where the place we have our classes is - I don't take the bus unless I want to go downtown).

Anyway, we had a general conversation, and before she left the bus, I asked her if she had plans for Friday or the weekend (to be precise, I asked her if she would go out with...
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>>17716417

Do you really want to be in a relationship with such an indirect, beat around the bush, indecisive, ambivalent, shy, passive person that you have to be ridiculously pushy to get anything done and always be in a state of uncertainty whether she wanted it after all?
If you do, at least sign a contract before having sex so at least you dont get wrecked when she cries rape on you, all because she mumbled no.
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>>17716440
Jesus Christ, I haven't even got to know her, that's why I want to go out with her, so I can get to know her and then decide if I want to go further with it. You don't have to be so edgy.
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>>17716490
>>17716490
OP you are an autist and probably scaring this girl

dont talk to her assertively again and forget about being friends with her. shes probably told 5+ ppl about what a creep you are

I have a disgruntled ex whos been posting falsified public reviews of my business talking about how manipulative and evil I am not do business with me, etc. Google wont remove the review because its not against their terms of service.

This review will surely hurt my businesses image and lose me money so I need it removed. A bad relationship is separate from business and employment, and it should stay that way. I have nudes of her and am thinking of blackmailing her or ill threaten to mail them to her employer and her friends. Sure, its a shitty thing to do and I dont...
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>retaliating with a felony
real smart OP

kik isn't gonna work, every form of electronic communication is easily traceable and the fact that you'd say REVIEW in the message just points straight at you. The can convict you on that alone. Your only option is to make some fake emails and post better reviews
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>>17716383
ur dumb, thats enough to figure out who it is. just sue her for a fake review.
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>>17716383
You should just accept it. Blackmailing will only escalate the situation. Giving her any attention will only escalate the situation. It's only an online review, and it will the situation will eventually die down. Be rational. The best thing you could do is maybe continue to appeal to Google.

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How do I handle being the less successful partner in a relationship?

My boyfriend is basically a rock star. He might even be in movies soon. He's surrounded by "important" people. He makes money from touring. People who are fans of his band stop him in the street in the middle of our dates just to talk to him. I even get stink eyes from his female admirers.

Me... my life isn't terrible or anything. But I'm way behind my man. I've been physically ill for the last year. I suffer from depression and anxiety that is crippling at times....
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you worship his dick so he dont leave ur ass
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>>17716342
I'm not scared of him leaving me. He's loyal.
>>
this didn't "happen to you", you are responsible for the quality of your reality, no one else has the power to define it

you have the capacity to control your emotions, you just haven't learned how yet. we all do. if you want to be happy and for your relationship to succeed, learn to enter state the way your bf can. read up on emotion regulation, meditate, study cognitive behavioral therapy and internal family systems.

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Just started dating someone and it's going well.

Someone pls tell me how to be a good boyfriend.
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>>17716307

put your pee pee in her poo poo
>>
>>17716307
Don't ACTUALLY love her.
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>>17716307
ask her how are u every 30 mins and give her advice when shes venting.

How do you deal with just being friends with a girl you like without it killing you inside?
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That's no way to have a friendship man. If she doesn't want a committed relationship, it'd be best to move on and find someone else.
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stop being friends with her
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>>17716301
>>17716302
>tfw can't be friends with one of the all around nicest human beings I know

I guess that's just life

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For a while now, there has been a group of teenagers coming to sit at my doorstep for their parties.

They are noisy, they litter, the smoke of their cigarettes gets through any opening, and they're disrespectful to me and my blind elderly mother.

Any attempt to tell them to behave has resulted in nothing, as expected. For some reason, when we called the police, they have done nothing. Just drive by without even stopping.

This is not America, so I don't have a right to hurt them or threat them even if they're in my property. I am an autistic...
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Please, send help.
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>>17716260
Put something sticky or messy on your steps so they cant sit there, get a huge dog to scare them off. Work out and get stronger so you can stand up to them
>>
>I can't stand up to them
Either that or put up with it. They're a bunch of teenagers mate, grow a fucking pair.

drop (ice-cold or boiling) water on them next time they do that. Have a knife or a bat handy in case they get any funny ideas. Most likely the water will be enough to send them running, but just to be sure, you should get out with a bat and yell at them that you'll beat the shit out of them if you ever see them again on your property. Bonus points if you're naked or at least only wearing your boxers.

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This tinder match I've been text gaming the last couple of weeks wants to meet up tonight, and I don't feel like doing anything.

She's a tiny, /fit/, platina blonde single mom. Broke up with her loser boyfriend of seven years, so basically hasn't had sex with anyone else since she was seventeen, which is kind of hot in and of itself, and I'll be her first fuck in over a year.

But I'm hung over and lazy. Tomorrow I'm going to fuck a cute female chatting buddy I met online, who wants me as a fwb. Should I just relax tonight and...
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If you too lazy to smash you don't deserve t smash, nigga.
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>>17716256
That's not motivational.
Give me pros and cons at least.

OP pic is her btw.
>>
>>17716234
>>17716266
Wait but why not just tell her "I'm really hung over today. Do you wanna meet next week?"
I don't understand

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I always wanted to do graphic design. It was my main interest for so long and I would be glad to be a pro in it.
But in last few weeks I discovered that I have natural skills in engineering. Should I stay in graphic design or should I leave it?
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>>17716140
What do you enjoy doing more? How much do you care about money?

Basically, if you don't hate engineering and want to make a good buck, roll with it. If you love graphic design and don't care about the monetary side too much, go with it.
>>
Either way you will succeed Op :)

If you have the guts, just flip a coin!
>>
>>17716140
Do you think going blind in your right eye would hinder creativity.

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My girlfriend owns a house that her Dad bought her who we both live in.

While there's no written tenancy agreement, I pay 50% of the mortgage and bills.

She has a couple of mental health problems which causes her to lash out at me at times. Now I've told her I'm going to break up with her and I'll be out when the next lot of bills are due (2 weeks).

But now she's saying she wants me gone and out the house tonight, which can't happen because I don't have anywhere to go and I know I won't get any stuff back that I leave...
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>>17716126
How long have you lived there
You probably have some squatter rights
>>
>>17716145
About 5 months.
>>
It could be different between states but generally without a written lease you have to be given a 30 day notice she wants you out.

If you receive mail there it helps with the police in proving you live there im told

I'm a 21 y/o autistic female (like genuinely autistic, not ~lel-u-autistic-fuck autistic) and I've been dating a 22M normie

He's the absolute sweetest, has done nothing to make me doubt his affection towards me, but I still can't help but get worried that I'M too... much? I worry that I am too much and that he will nope the fuck out because of this. So this worry in my head gets louder if he hasn't texted me on a morning for a while, or if I wave at him at work and he doesn't look absolutely overjoyed to see me (I know, I sound horribly...
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>boo hoo I'm a girl with a nice boyfriend woe is me
>>
>>17716111
yeah and I'm trying not to fuck it up :(
>>
>autistic women get normies
>autistic men get no one
No hope.
Anyways op, I feel you on the autism part. It is real rough dealing with people that don't have it. What were they like before you started dating him? Can you think of any other problems? I know it's cliche, but telling him in person how you feel about this stuff will be the cure

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i just turned 18 2 weeks ago.

i go to northwestern university outside of chicago

im taking a 300 level math, an intermediate french, a basic econ course, and a writing seminar

i feel insanely lost and apathetic

all i want to do is sit in my dorm and watch youtube videos and not do anything

in high school i felt such ambition and drive, enough to get me to this university, but now i'm realizing that i have no clue what i really want.

im scared that if i dont change something soon im going to end up what im so afraid of - someone...
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I kinda know that feel but after I graduated university. Just been stuck teaching ESL in Korea and banging kqts but my work is so easy and boring
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>>17716104

You've answered yourself. Fix your lifestyle issues and you will most likely start to feel better. Next step to take is to seek out a uni advicer or something, all universities have professionals whose only job is to give career/study advice to struggling students. You didn't mention how long you've studied, but from your age I'm gonna assume not that long. Everyone is lost at the beginning. Uni doesn't really match anyone's expectations and finding your groove might take a bit of...
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>>17716106

Tell me about your uni experience?

And how you decided to do esl?

>>17716118

This really helps. Thank you.
How am I supposed to find something I really enjoy?
How did you manage other aspects of your life while going through school? EG work, family, friends, sex?

And yeah this is my first quarter here.

I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend because from the very start of our relationship he was really quiet and it was usually me doing all of the talking (im very extroverted and heavily enjoy being social and talking to anyone i can). I though he would come out of his shell, at least when he's around me, but after such a long time, he's still quiet. I've asked him several times about it, and he said that he's just like that. His idea of a relationship is being quiet and lovey-dovey with each other without doing much (doing anything people...
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>>17716079
>im very extroverted and heavily enjoy being social and talking to anyone i can

heh

He sounds like me

I don't talk much because I find people so breathtakingly stupid and annoying
>>
>>17716079
>traveling
>I like having my boyfriend pay for my fieldtrips

>His idea of a relationship is being quiet and lovey-dovey with each other without doing much

Literally nothing wrong with this.

>he's so boring

Why is it him? People who are introverts aren't boring. It just means that they "click" with different people(other introverts). Just like you,...
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>>17716079
Nice guys finish last, drop the beta bitch

File: 1471618740293.gif (1 MB, 500x415) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1471618740293.gif
1 MB,
Been with my first girlfriend for almost six months now. We both started out as virgins. Sex has been great but very standard so far, we've only ever done missionary. We wanted to try more positions, but we just can't figure out how to put the DICK IN the PUSSY. Like in doggy, I feel like how to put it in. I can't figure out how to lower my dick enough to put it in when her legs are over my shoulder. Is my dick just too small (5 in.)? I feel like we need a sex coach. Any advice? Pic unrelate.
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>>
> Like in doggy
>lower my dick enough to put it in when her legs are over my shoulder.
>>
>>17716065

book a hooker together

make sure she has good ratings
>>
My ex bf had just over 5 inch and we did find that some positions didn't work so well but don't give up trying. Watch some porn vids to see how they are angled.


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