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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 211. page
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I'm torn between two girls that love me....
The first girl is 26 and struggles with work. She is a great home maker but is not very sexual as she has been hurt before.
The second girl is 21 and works in the medical field. She does not like to clean very much but loves sex and wants it often.

Which girl?
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Second girl
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First one is significantly older and it sounds like she has quite the baggage. I'd go for the first one. Especially if your only complaint about her is "she doesn't like to clean".
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>>17710968
>I'd go for the first one.
You mean to say second.

Also I'd tend to agree, sadly.

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I love you.
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What happened?
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Suck my peepee
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>>17710893
op is also a boy

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I'm in Vegas and about to go to Bunny Ranch. How do I do paid sex there?
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Walk in Bunny Ranch
Choose woman
Negotiation price/sexual stuff
Get undressed
Perform act
Pay lady (don't forget tip)
Get dressed
Leave Bunny Ranch
Cry in car
Question morals/life choices
Drive away
Nothing of value was lost or gained
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>>17710892
Why do a lot of people find shame in something like this? It's just sex, and suppose to be fun. Plus, you're going to a clean, legal, and professional place.
>>
What's a good price to negotiate for, for like regular pussy sex and blowjobs?

My morals and life choices are already questionable so that isn't much of a concern

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>Gf blocked me
>Can't stop thinking of her
>No friends
>Job sucks
>Literally spend all day in bed masturbating
Why should I continue?
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You should not continue what you're doing, you should realize anything you feel trapped by is doing so because you're allowing it to.

I was starting to spiral in unhappiness this past spring and summer, and it ended with me quitting my job and moving across the continent on short notice. Just picked up and left everything that was making me unhappy behind.

It's all small fucking shit. We all do it and it's totally normal, but step back and realize how little power all that shit has.
>>
I had someone ghost me too, it helps to distract yourself with things and events you like. The pain will lessen up after a little
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>>17710822
>girlfriend
>job
at least you got a better life than me if it makes you feel any better

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How do you stop spending all your free time on your computer?

I'm literally addicted
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>>17710813
idk I have the same problem. Sometimes i'll go for a walk and just listen to the traffic, it helps.
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>>17710813

get rid of your computer.

we don't tell drug addicts to keep drugs for recreational use. nor do we tell alcoholics to keep alcohol for 'sometimes' or smokers or what have you.

if you need a computer for school, use the library. if your answer is

>THATS TOO HARD ITS SO MUCH EAISER JUST TO HAVE ONE

then you already lost.


step 2:
>have something to do

people act like if they stop playing on...
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>>17710891
Not OP here but I have the same issue, I'm addicted to the computer and get very VERY bored with other shit. I always want to read more but rarely do, I have a ton of books. I like talking to people online, that is, when they feel like giving me attention. And lastly and most importantly I'm writing a book on the computer when I finally get the small motivation to do it. It's the only place I can write it. I can't drive, and there's no library around here. No job, living with my parents....
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i can't fucking handle this i'm so confused. been diagnosed with anxiety disorder get super bad panic attacks i have a lot to be happy for in my life yet this is happening. hate all these pills they give me. klonopin helps a lot but how bad is that stuff for you ?
>parents are good but mom had anxiety at my age dads prob bipolar but super alcoholic pothead and no real job and mom works her ass off comes home and just yells and complains
> my dads brother (my uncle) melested me when i was 13 harassed me verbally...
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kill your uncle
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>>17710780
yes that'll solve everything
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>>17710780
>>17710793
fuck it i got this where is he? and give me a pic

So, /adv/ would you ever date a single mother?
Why?
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>>17710727
I'm attracted to a single mother, and she's younger than me (I'm 27). We have a similar sense of humour and she's real fiery, takes zero shit and is the exact same height as me, everything that I want in one package.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't care if she has a kid, I'm into her and I feel no stigma for dating a woman who has a kid with another man. However, I'm also aware that the kid will always come before me so that puts me off, which is hard because...
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I dated one and eventually married her.
Been together almost 9 years now.
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>>17710727
The anon above me sumed it up pretty well.

Do you REALLY like her or just like the fact that she gives you attention.
Given the fact she is kinda desperate because of her situation makes you secure.

If you like her for real give her a chance.

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> Gf is pissed off by neighboor abusing his kids
> Mentioning it to me like she wants me to do something
> Legal ways are impossible because he's only yelling shit at them in the night, they already sent a few policemen and they can't do shit if the kids aren't hurt or traumatized
> She's onto me, saying stuff like she will protect my ass with the cops if I do something about it
> I'm not ready to...
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Tell him swiftly and curtly that you feel he doesn't realize how thin the walls are, and you especially hear him at night with his kids. Phrase it like that. One of the main reasons for him to lash out physically would be feeling humiliated or patronized/exposed. This way you leave him a more or less dignified way out.

Depending on how severe/threatening the yelling is, you could also call CPS.

Unless your girlfriend is a little bitch who needs you to be a daytime hero, my guess is that she is more upset with your dispassionate assessment of the situation...
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>>17710739
Meh. I'm aware of her manipulating me. But I'm doing it for the kids because I'm one of the good guys, or something like that. (We're both 21 don't worry about our parental instinct lol, it's more of an ethical problem and also a simple annoyance in the night)

Your style is interessant I like that, I thought I'd have him angry at me and then lay him on the floor and call the cops on his agression, and my girlfriend would be supporting my version when the cops will come in....
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>>17710761
Would definitely not do that. You're a little punk to him who's obviously trying to impress his girlfriend. Don't make it tempting to start shit with you. Besides, obviously this behavior is not okay but that doesn't mean he doesn't love his kids and even if he doesn't he could flare up hearing his own behavior reported back to him as being abusive. It's a very loaded word, for good reasons but that won't do you any particular favors. And if they release him, even just on probation...
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Alright anon, I need some advice. Got a story so here it goes.

>Met a girl on tumblr and became friends
>Hung out like two years after we met
>Met up at a show, I was a lil touchy, she told me she had a bf
>okay no worries
>I was a huge fuckboy for a while so I was trying to sleep with anyone
>Hang out with said friend a few months later
>I get really...
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>>17710707
Have you considered that they've actually been together this entire time and she was cheating on him with you?
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>>17710721
This. Other wise she wouldn't care about him and would have left.
>>
>I decide to go to Washington to visit a friend instead
>she goes on road trip
>her ex asks if he can go with her
>he does
>get into an argument
>take acid and realize what a shithole I am
>have a conversation and tell her my feels and shit
>things go well most of the summer
>her ex moves out...
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From a relationship/dating/sex standpoint... What does it actually mean to "not have a personality" or "be boring?"

are those just phrases people resort to if they don't have anything in common with someone else? Inb4 special snowflake, but no two people are the same, and every single person has SOMETHING about them that makes them unique. Everyone has their own personality and quirks.

Are people just deluded with how "dynamic" a potential SO should be?
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It just means the person saying it doesn't "get" you. You're probably introverted, smart, want to talk about deeper things than reality tv and makeup / cars.

This girl in my social circle always said I put her to sleep but she was an alcoholic and on amphetamines all the time, lots of tattoos, no education or interest in the real world.

Not a huge loss to me considering you are a combination of the top 5 people you interact with.

Don't get butt mad about it. And actually, consider yourself lucky. Aim higher my buddy.
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>>17710703
i think it depends on what a person is looking for in a relationship. most women my age will find a guy boring if he isnt fun to be around, so essentially they are looking for party type people. i always hear girls saying they want a guy who is up for a laugh and banter. personally i look for someone that is nice, up for doing things and can provide decent conversation.
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For me, boring means unpassionate. Not dispassionate, but unpassionate. As in without drive, passion, or motivation. If you're doing things you're passionate and excited for life you aren't boring.

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Everyday is a continuing stress enhancer. I go to a community college, where I, for the most part, obtain decent grades (A's and B's), save for College Algebra, which I am failing. Basically, if I go under a 2.5 GPA, I lose my funding and will have to find another way to pay for school. I really, really want to move onto University, but I feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain with my bare hands.

I have a job at Starbucks, which is becoming more and more of a tumor in my brain. It took me awhile to understand and train, and my coworkers never fail to...
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>>17710668
>mostly As and Bs
>fear of going under a 2.5 due to one class
Something isn't adding up here.
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>>17710674
Ok, so maybe I won't go under 2.5 if i just fail CA, but it still makes me feel like a failure every time i walk into the class. I can't drop it, becauae then I wont have enough hours to continue to receive funding. So I'm stuck going to this class, trying to teach myself, through the book, and when i participate in class, i sound like an absolute moron.
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>>17710682
You sound like you know exactly what to do, but you sound like you're having delusions caused by your insecurity.

Guys...
If you meet a woman you can chat with by hours, have interest and hobbies alike and find her attractive, would you consider her as a possible couple or just a good friend? Or you can't really know if you don't date her more?

I'm kind of confused lol. I met a guy who has told me that and we had that "chat forever" vibe. He hasn't been flirting openly with me, but have looked for me ocasionally to go out and chat, kind of twice a month or something like that. He have two jobs and travel a lot, but have told me "it feel like...
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Not a guy, but it sounds like he's respecting your decision to not have sex but would also definitely date you if given the chance. Your situation sounds a lot like my husband and I when we were first dating.

Also, if you're getting the connection error, it's probably because you're trying to post in the popup window. It seems to have problems, especially if you use adblock. To make it work, copy it from the window and paste it into the form at the top of the thread, and it should work fine.
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>>17710624
>the popup window
What do you mean the popup window? Anyway, I pause Adblock and yes, it stop telling me that, thanks!!

And, I didn't understand the part of "date you if given the chance"? I was kind of shocked when I met him bc he is like the kind of guy I would definitely consider and I told him that (I kind of regret that and not, honestly, but it was like a very weird thing to me atm and I couldn't help it). He told me he appreciated my honesty and keep...
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>>17710624
Well, not dating, but you know what I mean. When we were on the verge of it.

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So a couple years ago I was at rock bottom. Borderline homeless; horrible alcoholic. I was scarred by a physically abusive relationship I had finally managed to leave.
The place I was staying at wasn't much better. Everyone was on drugs.
One night I got into a fight with one of them, and I needed somewhere to sleep.
I called my ex; we had been broken up for about 7 months at this point. Sometimes he'd give me a ride somewhere, and we still talked occasionally. I asked if I could crash on the couch. He said yes.
I got piss drunk that night, and fell asleep...
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:(
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>>17710597
>Does this qualify as sexual abuse? What's your opinion?
I don't know if I'd call it abuse. But it's almost textbook sexual assault if true.

As a guy I'm not really sure how I'd respond to a similar situation. Like I'm just passed out drunk and wake up with someone jacking me..
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>>17710597
Yeah, it's sexual abuse. Just forget it, don't ever contact him ever again. If you really can't get it off your mind, then go to therapy, but as a last ditch effort.

Some guys believe they're entitled to do what they want to women who are in a bad position, were exes, etc. That's just life.

I believe that I am suffering from anxiety related erectile dysfunction. I got out of a 5 year relationship about a year ago and have had a few sexual encounters since. During sex I seem to be worried about staying hard and keeping it up and not being boring that I stress out and lose my boner.

Its hard to explain this to girls that are not my girlfriend and it seems to be a snowball effect that with each failed encounter I stress even more. If I'm fapping alone I can get hard and stay hard no problem. Its when I'm ready to do the deed I get stressed and lose...
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Pretty normal man. I was dating a girl for a month and that helped me engage myself more. What I did was focus on the body, her breathing, and how much I was lusting after her. It also helped that we were building an emotional connection, because that's important for me. That helped make the sex better after every encounter
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>>17710602
In addition to focusing on her, you learn to forget about everything else and bring out your animal instinct. Remember. The human body is designed for food and sex, your body will make it work
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>>17710602
>>17710605
Also, erections are powered by the parasympathetic nervous system, otherwise known as the unconscious part of the nervous system. The same system that powers your breathing and digestion. Learn to relax and do what I said above and focus on HER. Try not fapping for a while do your body can resensitize to human interaction

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I just asked a girl out for drinks and she agreed. Problem is I dunno if she thinks if it's just a hang out or if it's a date. How do I find out subtly? Or do I straight out ask her what she thinks this is?
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>>17710591
Don't. Just go, have a drink and you'll know by the end. Be flirty, confident and follow up with another night out in a day or two.
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>>17710599
How soon is too soon for a second meet up if all goes well?
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>>17710606
It depends on your read of the girl. But following up the next night doesn't sound unreasonable.
>Femanon, I had a great time drinking fruity alcoholic drinks with you last night. It was great to catch up and get to know you better. You better get that vaginal fungus under control before your cooter falls out
Or something, with humorous tone that she can't refuse to not respond to.

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some...
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>be in library
>empty spot happens to be behind a girl I was seeing last year
>haven't really seen her around after the first day of uni this year, I changed my major
>anyways, sit behind her in the library
>don't really stare at her
>she notices me
>leaves the library
Wtf? What did she mean by this?

I don't think she had a class to go to either. I know her timetable because she sent me one in the beginning of the term
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>>17710581
It means she doesn't care to be around someone she had a "thing" for. For whatever million reasons she could have.

Dude, how the fuck are we really supposed to know? You didn't tell us anything about the nature of your "seeing" her. How it ended. Why it ended. If you cared at all.
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>>17710584
Well we were the same majors last year, so we took a lot of classes together. She subtly asked me out for valentine's day too, on the weekends leading up to the day

It just naturally ended because I changed my major, we didn't take classes anymore. She seems too busy with all the labs and shit.

Last time I was talking to her on snapchat, told me she could come see her if she wants. But I was already home by then lol. I showed her my timetable and she just stopped responding, idk

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I can't get these words out of my head. I miss my ex so much. Fucking love, fucks you up.
-----
Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all
You believed in me, I believed in you
Certainties disappear
What do we do? For our dream to survive?
How do we keep, all our passions alive
As we used to do?

Deep in my heart, I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess, what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me, you must love me
You must love...
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>>
ily
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>>17710516
gay facebook tier bs
>>
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anon's first heartbreak? Don't worry, you'll get over it.

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If a girl kisses me and she has lipstick on is it going to be permanent?
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>>17710502
You must be retarded
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>>17710502
are you under the impression that girls put on lipstick one time in their lives?
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>>17710502
yes you will have herpes for the rest of your life

> 1-2 hours of responding guaranteed
> Help anyone about anything
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Are there questions that I could ask my bf that will make him realize he's throwing his life away? He's lazy, has no motivation, and i want to leave him, but at the same time I can't since I've spent many years with him. I'm lost and feel lonely. What should I do?
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>>17710445
.
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>>17710445
How do you help children when you're not a relative?
Also get a tripcode.

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I have a week to get better erections. What can I do?

Does NoFap work?
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>>17710320
Yes, focus on eating more fruit and drinking water. Do thirty minutes of exercise for the next week, whether this is running or weightlifting, anything works.

Don't watch porn and don't masturbate. At the end of the week you'll be harder than you've ever been before.

No need to thank me, have fun! :-)
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>>17710357
This will work, worked for me
>>
I fapped like 3 times in a row yesterday and 10 minutes later I got another raging boner. No fap is a meme

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Anons, how do you get over being heartsick? A couple weeks ago something in my head switched and I fell head over heels for a woman Ive known for awhile when she came to visit my friends and I. I even resolved last night after having one of my best runs ever that I'd work on myself even more so that I could be even better for her. Yet, a few days ago, another friend confides in me that they're in a hush-hush relationship with each other. I don't know how to feel or what to do with myself now. They're both my close friends so I have to be happy for them but...
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Bump. Anyone?
>>
First, a tip for the future: Try not to get emotionally invested in girls so much before you actually have something going on with them. Do not fantasize about them, imagine a relationship, stalk them on instagram whatever. This will make it less painful when you end up getting rejected. Also, it will prevent you from getting too nervous around them and acting desperate.

Now for the whole "being heartsick" thing.

Personally, I try to socialize with other girls as much as I can. This is what helps me the most and I think a lot of other men feel the same....
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>>17710530
Thank you anon. I appreciate your advice. She's a good friend and I talk to her almost every day so it's very difficult for me not to be emotionally invested. I don't stalk her or do anything creepy except be as good of a friend as I can be but that's not exclusively her since I do that for all my friends... I'm able to cover it up really well when we're talking so she has absolutely no idea how I feel. At all.

Yes, I agree. I've been working out more and eating less because...
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I'm planning on ending a relationship tomorrow. I love her but resent what she's put me through and how she's dealt with certain things.

I kind of don't want to go to the effort of sparing her feelings. Maybe I'd even derive some sort of sick pleasure from making her miserable.

Am I a psychopath? Can I really love her if I feel like this?
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>Can you love someone but want them to suffer?
No. They are not opposites, but they are not compatible.
>>
>>17710216
I kind of disagree with the anon above me. I think you can obsess (not love) or be infatuated someone and want them to suffer, but it's unhealthy for you to feel that way. Love and sadism don't mix, but obsession and sadism do.
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>>17710232
This sounds sensible, I think you could be right. I already though what I was feeling was unhealthy.

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Everyone is so fucking brainwashed. My whole family disowned me because of my belief that money is a systematic form of slavery( which it is). Everyone is so fucking caught up being selfish and brainwashed by electronics, media, and social media. Nobody knows what it means to be human anymore. This society has actually made the cattle enjoy their enslavement meanwhile the other side of the world is on fire, people are burning alive because of our selfish actions here in the first world.

Since when were material objects more important than people? Why are we being rewarded...
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>>17710204
>Nobody knows what it means to be human anymore

you're edgy. read and study history. its always been the same. read will to power and realize that some form of government will always exist.

This society has actually made the cattle enjoy their enslavement meanwhile the other side of the world is on fire, people are burning alive because of our selfish actions here in the first world.

again, this has pretty much always been the case. the only difference now...
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>>17710231
>you're edgy. read and study history.
lol you fucking pleb money has only been around for 8000 years. lern history you fuck.

>again, this has pretty much always been the case.
Actually it pretty much always hasnt been the case since modern society is only a couple of hundred years old. Before that point you could live off in the forest in your own private village for many generations without anyone fucking with you.

>Since...
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>>17710231
I hope you enjoy your shitty fucking Role Play that you refuse to question until you fucking die and realize your entire fucking life was a lie.

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Just asked a girl from uni for her number in person out of the blue, she said yes. No idea what to do from here tho. Was going to text her today (1 day later) but the fuck do I say?
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You didn't think this through, did you?
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>>17710200

How much do you know her?
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>>17710200
be casual, ask her how her day has been, get a conversation going. if you get on with her, and its obvious that she enjoys talking to you, ask her out after a week or so.

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Give me your reasons for suicide and i tell why you don't need to do it
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I have terminal Stage IV cancer, doctors tell me i have a month to live. Why not now than later?
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>>17710197
Because you have one month and you are wasting this time in 4chan, anon for the love of God, right now you need to do all the things that always want to do but never had the balls to do it, go climbing, go to a park, tell a girl you love her, make a list about it, a maybe you will survive
>>
>>17710195
I'm bed ridden. My mum has to type what I say (love u mom xoxo). Why shouldn't I blow my head off?

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And if so, do you think crime is a good idea? Does it pay?

I'm tired of life, not gonna lie, I might just commit crime.
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>crime is a good ideia?
No.
>Does it pay?
Yes, but has a high price.
>Why it pay?
Because just a few people are doing, so the profit margin it's big, unlike the normal jobs who are flooded by people doing it.

But answering you more shortly
>Worth?
No.
>>
>>17710158
Kek what, crime is a vague word, there's a shit lot of jobs that are illegal, can't just say ung im gon comit crime
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>>17710158
I used to sell hard drugs to kiddo's in my hometown. great money, but someday the lackeys of the local criminal boss (he owns mutliple bordellos and probably is the biggest dealer) came up to me. They did not outright beat me up but it was clear I had to stop, so I sold them my goods for a decent price and stopped.
I later, and still, went on illegal hunting and scavenging trips. Hunting in our country is illigal without expensive permits, but who's gonna stop me? Also scavenging mushrooms and mosses is illegal.

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If I know ill never get a physically attractive girlfriend with mutla interests and a fun personality

Why shouldn't I be a ruthless dick and fuck with people? I'm never going to get mine anyways might as well take a couple folks down with me
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>>17710111
You're too edgy for /adv/
Back to /r9k/
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>>17710111
You are not entitled to anything. if you want to be in a position to attract a woman of such high standards, you should work towards improving yourself to be in a position to expose yourself to them. Even then you are not entitled to another human being. You work to improve yourself and have attractive qualities or go bust and dream forever on something you refuse to work towards.
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>>17710111
>Why shouldn't I be a ruthless dick and fuck with people?

because all you're doing is causing unnecessary problems and making the world more of a shit place. we cant all have everything. most people wont have what you want, fuck, barely any girls exist like that in the first place. you're so fucking edgy. kill yourself or change.

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I'm in school for programming, there's part of me that wonders if this really is for me.

I like it well enough, but i don't feel any true drive or passion towards it. That being said, I have depression and anxiety (clinically diagnosed) and there's a very real chance that it could just be sucking my enjoyment out of things.

Thinking about it now, I've never had any motivation to be productive/better myself (even if i wanted to). I've never felt true passion towards anything in my life.

Whats going on with me, how do i stop...
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Change your habits, thats the first step. Change your pass time activities to something constructive like fitness that encourages you to improve your self and your skills.

The true passion thing i can definitely relate to, but think of programming as a tool or a bridge that allows you to achieve greater things in life than just writing code and making a decent living. Think of all the possibilities you can have as a programmer, make an app that significantly improves people's quality of life, fix broken projects, take an entrepreneurial route and design your own...
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Gamedev here. Depends on the field you want to get into.

99℅ of programmers are trash. You sound like one.

The ones who aren't trash are the ones who are passionate and motivated. The kinds who made shit in their own time outside of school or whatever unrelated job they had at the time. The kinds who are constantly researching new fields or staying on the bleeding edge of tech.

People like you are a drag on a team, but it doesn't mean there isn't a place for you. You'll be stuck forever working some shitty job making $30k/year forever...
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>>17710128
Kinda a generic reason, but I went for programming because I want to start and indie game company some day. I kinda lose sight of that sometimes, I should try to keep it in mind though

>I highly recommend weightlifting with a friend or something.

I've been through period of regular exercise. Always kinda fell out of habit. I remember feeling pretty good about myself though so youre probably right.

>Move out

If school was...
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Recently I felt harassed by a guy. He was stalking me on facebook a lot (memorized every post i made within last year), he also abused me verbally (sexual comments etc.). There was other stuff, but I wouldn't get into that because it's not the center of my question and I have dealt with it. Luckily, he's not around me too often so I found it easy to distance myself from him as much as possible.

I would like to do more, I feel the need to warn others of him, to stay away. I'm not sure how to do this, so I need your advice on it. I already told all my...
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You don't specify if you're a woman, but as a dad to girls this is something I think about a lot. It's really important that people are called out harassment bullshit; it's just basic that nobody should say anything in private to a crush (or target) that the wouldn't be proud of in public.

Unfortunately the world is filled with liars and assholes on both sides of the harassment equation, which makes it very hard for people in your situation.

You can tell your story to anyone who asks, but don't publicly provide your personal narrative...
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>>17710069
Develop a little more about what happened. We don't know if it's a humongous kind of 'sexual assault' and you're waiting for the green light to frame a muttafucca
>>
>>17710198

I say that doesn't matter, he made OP feel shitty and he won't stop-- that's why my advice was to just show to screenshots and let the world decide. If people interpret it as no big deal flirting, he'll be embarrassed for a day and stop bugging the OP. If it's worse, than he'll be properly shamed.

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Waht do?

>Be me
>Parents well off but generally absent even when around
>Ship me off to fancy boarding school
>Place is full of phonies, students and faculty
>Decide to go AWOL and go home for weekend
>Parents away as usual. Hang out a bit with my kid sister but decide to stay at a hotel.
>Spend loadsamoney on hotel, meals, bars.
>City...
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6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Stfu Holden
>>
>>17710118
Congratulations. I just lost a bet that no one would spot it.
>>
>>17710154
Gave it away with "phonies".

No one but holden uses that term.


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