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how do I find my masculinity /adv/?

I don't feel very masculine, other than my masculine face the rest is trash. I'm scrawny with small shoulders. I have never once been good at any sport. I have a silly boyish personality. At times, I've been told I'm a bit feminine. I'm not a big or imposing guy. I'm not decisive and often can't make decisions. Men dont tend to look up to me or give me lots of respect.

I'd like to be more masculine but seems having that gravitas is more than just simply improving your posture and speaking...
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Any anons relate? :(
>>
>>17703058
get /fit/, lift like your life depends on it
endure hardship, struggle, and suffering without being broken by it
learn to build/fix things
engage in hand to hand combat and emerge victorious
just a few suggestions
>>
>>17703058

i think the issue is that you equate masculinity with respect.

some of the most masculine guys you meet aren't taken seriously at all. they're considered idiots. being uneducated is considered somewhat masculine, in the redneck sense. others might find intelligence masculine, but only if its puffed up by other masculine qualities and used to do something like, running a business.

in some cultures celibacy is manly. in others its considered more masculine to ravage as many women as possible....
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I made a joke toward my female friend and she was clearly very affected. I apologized more than once and she said it was okay, but I was acting stupid to apologize because something so dumb wouldnt affect her (it clearly did at the time).

The next day, she goes totally cold and acts like a total bitch to me. I ask her what's up and try to be in a good mood, but then she said I should stop "pretending" because it wont make her feel better.

Then the next day, she is just totally cold and is pretty much ignoring me now. I didn't acknowledge her...
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When I asked her whats wrong before the day we ignored eachother, she said that she just wanted me to "act natural"
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>>17703037
She is really butthurt about that joke my man
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>>17703050

She seemed fine after I told it. It wasn't until the next day where I kept asking what was wrong that she seemed to get completely irked by me.

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I've got a saviour complex but it turns out I don't know how to save anyone.

What do
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find someone with abandonement issues. They don't need saving but they feel like they do, and you'll be their saviour.
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>>17703008
Yeah I did and all I did was make them emotional trying to talk about it.

Now I'm in love with a girl who associates me with negative feelings.
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>>17703014
Try to avoid the batshit ones

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I met a wonderful girl.
She is amazing.
And I have had so much fun talking to her.

But as of Friday, I have felt nothing towards her. It was sudden, and without reason. Don't say "I burned out." I still know she is wonderful and know every reason I should love her.

Beyond that, I feel apathy towards everything. On Monday, I tried to imagine my family dying. And I felt nothing. I tried to recall a scenario that made me angry. I felt nothing. And when I see other girls around the school to whom I was previously attracted, I feel nothing. And...
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Does depression affect your love towards someone?

If that isn't it, what are possible causes of what I'm experiencing? I just want to fall back in love with her again.

I want my heart back. I feel like the tin man
>>
bump
Please help me
>>
>>17702974
7cups.com while you wait people to respond here.
Do you feel that it's related to the fact that you met the girl? It seems like you think that meeting the girl is at least part of the reason you started feeling that way.

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My birthday is tomorrow. The last 5 birthdays or so I sat in my bed crying all day. No friends at all. Anything I can do tomorrow? Also poor as fuck
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Damn, you're pathetic. You should, like, work on that or something. Maybe meet some people. Maybe make some connections.
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>>17702967
Apply for a job, that's the birthday gift you should give yourself.
>>
1. Where are you from?
2. Are you old enough to drink?
3. Do you enjoy being outside?

There's always stuff you can do for your name day, even without people. We know your feels. Personally haven't had a good name day for over 7 years now so it's not an expectation anymore. Sometimes it's better to be alone, doing something no one else wanted to do with you. As long as you can have fun doing it, might as well take your day and make the most out of it.

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did the faded undercut as one suggested on /adv/ thanks
sorry for polluting this board with this seeming useless thread
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this is before
>>
You look like shit, but a better piece of shit than before. Now fix up everything else.
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>>17703069
^ this
You just have to dress better work out a bit and you are gonna get all the pussy you want boi.

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Who here has Tinder success stories? I get a good amount of matches but I haven't ever met anyone from there. Is it generally true that if I'm matching people on Tinder, I should be ready for sex or trying to meet up the day of the match? I'm not really looking for that.

OkCupid I've had more success with since the people are generally a little more serious about dating, but Tinder has the more attractive normal girls.

How many messages should I be sending on Tinder before asking if they want to meet or something, is my question.
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Ive never heard of successful ventures on tinder.
Ive never even got a girl to message me back yet
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I had no matches for 2 months, but that's because I live in Europe and I'm very select about the girls I want to meet.
>>
Most matches won't meet, and the ones that do are as different from each other as all other instances of people dating.

I've met four women off tinder in my two years career:

Number one, met after about three days of chatting, fucked her twice on two different occasions, but didn't meet to fuck on the first date, it just happened anyway, since our date laster about eight hours.

Number two: got her to buy me a few beers on the same day we matched, then went home because I decided she wasn't for me.

Number three: met her a week...
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Ended a 3.5 year relationship with my first girlfriend about 3 weeks ago, we spent over half of these last few weeks messaging because she was afraid to let go, I ended up blocking her on social media but she continued texting me up until last Friday where we said our final goodbye so I can begin to move on with no contact. It has been hard but I do feel much better at the point I'm at now, my issue is however that I still cannot stop thinking about her. It's no longer in an anxious way or sadness/crying, it's just curiosity about what she is up to and missing...
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>>17702945
I'm In the same position but she broke up with me . I keep the phone next to me hoping she'll text lol . I always wonder what she's doing. She broke up with me over something stupid but what can I do.
>>
why did you guys break up?
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>>17702955
Fuck, you sound like me. I didn't even "break up" with my ex, we were trying to get back together but she hasn't texted me in like 5 days and I wake up every day thinking she texted me. I'm done with her but I just wanna see her crawl back so it's her text going ignored, not mine. Even fucking other girls hasn't gotten her out of my head.

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Had a stressful day at work, had a fuck buddy come over to help me relieve stress. She's one of those annoying "I like witty banter lolz" types and just was just being particularly annoying. During our bantz she hit a nerve so I just lost my shit and slapped her as hard as I could and she just left without saying a word. I don't really care about getting to bang her again as much as I care about being sued for assault. It's been a couple days and I haven't gotten any phone calls or anything. should I preemptively lawyer up?
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>>17702885
Yes, you deserve it too.
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>>17702885
You sound like an asshole. I hope you go to jail.
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>>17702891
"lulz sarcasm witty banter" pseudo intellectual girls need to have their shit slapped DESU nobody likes an insufferable cunt

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So my parents just informed me that I'm going to have to start paying for my own health insurance very soon. I'm 24, live in the US (fuck me), in my last semester of school about to get my Bachelors, and work part time doing both landscape and pool cleaning. I have no earthly idea what to do. I live in a very rich county where the average income is above 50k and there's going to be one insurance agency that providers will take after November because of Obamacare reasons, and the insurer is $250+ a month. I have two options it seems like, which is 1) Work more...
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>Should I stay or should I go?

Which sounds better?

Which one feels better?

Have a solid plan A and B before deciding. sounds like you can figure it out just fine.

Have both lined up and then decide.

>SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
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>>17702873
Just don't get sick, live without it and pay the penalty.
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>>17702892
>Which sounds better?
>Which one feels better?
Plan 2 sounds and would probably feel better, but it honestly scares me making such a quick move when I hardly know anything about moving, insurance, etc. The only thing that's stopping me from moving out right away is the fact that I'm still in school till December and that's what's fucking me up right now.

>>17702894
Does...
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How do I get good at eating pussy?

My GF gives me great blowjobs so I want to return the favor
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Do the alphabet bruh
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>>17702791
Where's that chart. Someone get that fucking chart!
>>
What's a great blowjob?

I always thought that it would be exactly that; someone giving head exclusively until orgasm. Is it common that hand/ blowjobs aren't supposed to make you cum, just get you hard? For all the guys and girls I've had suck my cock, it seems like the objective is no longer to actually get the guy off, yet they all still tall about this "great head" that doesn't seem to exist.

Dunno, that's just me. Opinions?

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What do you do when your girlfriend's family expects too much of you?

>She is 24. Asian. Finished college. Working
>I'm 22. Last year. Not working

I'm finishing up my CS degree, so I had to take an extra year. Her family is triggered that I didn't finish in 4 years, own a car, made a down payment to a nice house, invest in stocks etc.

My girlfriend is understanding, so that's a relief. I know I shouldn't give a shit on what they say, but it's demoralizing to...
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I think girlfriend's/wife's parents will always be disappointed at whoever is dating her, those fucks can't ever be pleased. Hopefully you and your girlfriend will be independent enough to not have to care about them other than visiting them like once a month or something soon. Good luck.
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http://youtu.be/5hDs6mCVAKs
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Interact as little with as possible with them without being rude.

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Help me /adv/, I don't have luck with girls and I don't get why.

I'm 24 years old, around 195lbs and 5'11" and have a good job.
I think I'm not looking, bad average at worst.
I'm confident and I don't think my personality is annoying either.

It's not that much of a problem to be honest, I'm not even actively looking for a relationship as I don't go to clubs or use dating apps.
I'm just wondering why I never even get the chance to become acquainted with girls.
I'm talking to female coworkers...
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Anyone?
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>>17702828
married women are just horny and want to flirt.
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>>17702828
If you meet a new woman who looks interesting, then move fast. Make a move on the first day preferably. People categorize each other pretty early, sounds like you always end up in the friendzone. And don't be shy about it, it's a turn off for most women. Just flat out ask her for a date.

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Ok so back ground info I am 18 my gf is 17 (legal in my country) and both still live with our parents and it's been about a month since the last time we had sex. I want to try for it again but sometimes she'll play hard to get and say another time and I feel crappy for asking because it makes me look bad.

She's coming to my house today. Should I ask her through text if we should have Sex? Do I wait till she comes to my house so I can bring it up? Is it right for me to be SCARED or should I just be honest.
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wait til she comes, kiss, touch each other and fool around, she may get horny
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Some thing to know I can't just have Sex in my room we'd have to go the church bathrooms or something nearby (she's into public sex kinda, like in restrooms and stuff)
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>>17702794
I think you're a retard if you gotta ask for it, it's supposed to just happen.

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why do parents lie to their kids about being attractive? my family, my whole life growing up, told me i was very good looking. i'm a 5 at best. luckily, realizing this wasn't so hard because i've developed a good personality, but why can't parents from the start just explain "yeah, you're ugly/average, so learn to be funny/smart/dance/make a lot of money, etc."?
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because they aren't objective. Most of the time they actually think their offspring is smart, and beautiful and pleasant and all that. Even if they look like deformed monsters, are dumb as rocks and annoying as fuck.
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because that's shitty and you'd whine about that too?
and maybe you were cuter as a kid. Reason a lot of people get average is they don't workout or anything. Get fit or some shit.
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>>17702752
They were attempting to build up the child's self esteem and confidence because they're good parents. You don't fill your kid with apathy and cynicism from the start, that just slowly settles in as they get older and are more equipped to handle it.

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Hi /adv/. I need friends but I don't know how to meet new people. I'm a 19 year old girl. Currently I don't go to school or have a job. I pretty much have no friends or acquaintances I could talk to and I'm feeling miserable because of this. I'm really bad with people. I'm autistic, depressed, tired and my social anxiety is ruining my life. Even grocery shopping is hard for me. I'm really interested in japanese fashion, video games and general nerd stuff. I just wanna have some weeb friends, but conventions are not for me. I'm really shy...
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You have the answer you seek, but refuse to experiment to see if your solution will work.

Go outside.
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>>17702761
At surface level it does look that simple, but I'm really afraid of embarrassing myself. I've done that too many times in the past and it just makes me even more anxious. Also I have no idea where to go outside. Should I just sit down in the park and wait for a stranger to walk by? Where I live it's considered odd to just start talking with random people. Thanks for the reply though.
>>
First and foremost you have to ask yourself some questions and answer them.

What kind of relationships you want with people? Acquaintances, close or really close friends?
-What do you really want from those people, specifically? Do you want chats, to hear your problems, to exchange stories, or what exactly?

Furthermore, are you aware that:
-real, true friends you usually meet once every 5-10 years?
-you lose friends and people almost every year, so your circle is almost never the same for long?
-if you want to befriend males, you might find it hard...
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Hi, /adv/, I've never been here before forgive me if I do this wrong. I'm 99.99999% sure my older brother is spying on my browser history via leet haxor methods I do not understand. I've noticed constantly running on his computer a program called GNS3-TinyCore2 and through my 15 minutes of intensive research I have absolutely no idea what it is used for. Every time I look at weird pronz he's always around the corner with a big grin on his face. It's annoying. I feel extremely invaded. I look at weird ass shit so he's basically black mailing me....
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install gentoo
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>>17702686
>GNS3-TinyCore2
That's a gui for another program called Microcore, which is used to create virtual networks - or in layman's terms, it's a great piece of kit for spying on your siblings online activities. There are ways you could get round it, but the technical solutions will require in depth knowledge so it might be easier to just punch him in the face instead.
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>>17702705
Thank you good sir. I truly assumed my gut was telling me the truth. I assume he'll see this yes? You dont think this gentoo thing is enough to get around it?

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If you know someone is going to physically hurt you, is there any legal tool to prevent it happening? If there is, I probably need to prove their intention. What's the best way to do so?
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>gun
>knife
>fists
>car if it's a mob
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>>17702699
I don't want to incriminate myself. Physical violence to be avoided if possible.
>>
Depending where you live, being threatened is considered a crime. Why would this person want to hurt you?

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So, I'm having some problems with my life during this period and I just wanted to solve them as fast as I can. I didn't want a relationship because of this problems since I knew they would just make it harder. But then

>meet this girl
>holy fuck she's the best girl I have ever met
>ask her out, we are really into each other
>ending up having a relationship with this girl

Now I don't know if this is a good choice. I...
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stop being vague with us or we can't help.

what 'problems' are you talking about? are you gay or something?

look, whatever shit you have going on, fix it, but don't let it get in the way of your happiness. you deserve to be with a great woman, remember that. are you gonna keep putting it off until you're organized and everything's perfect in your life?

because I got news for you, pal: it'll never ever happen.
>>
>>17702680

What are you talking about exactly? I don't understand holding back information when you're on an anonymous message board asking for help.

From the vague information you have put forward I would say hold onto the relationship and fix your problems at the same time...
>>
>>17702688
>>17702683
Yeah guys I guess I should have said my problems you are right

>have had depression for years
>randomly get depressed like for example I go out with friends then start feeling sad n shit
> hate myself and my look even if everyone says "you are funny and good looking"

I'm prob scared that those things will hold me back in this relationship...
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The business I started failed and now I have to go back to working for my dad's business. What do I say when the staff ask me why I'm back? How do I explain my business failed in a way that doesn't make me look like a complete loser?
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Why would you care if people 'think' you're a loser? You went out, tried something and failed. That's one of the potential consequences of starting a business. Taking such a risk is a lot more than most people do.

Their opinions do not matter.
>>
look for another job. family and business don't mix.

in the meantime, fuck 'em, who cares what they think.
>>
>>17702678
They're still going to ask what happened.

And I will still need a good answer.

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Hey /adv,

i can't get stuff done in my dreams.
Example:
>want to go on a trip to the carribean
>Things are all packed
>but there is always one thing in my way
>like groceries, doing chores and shit
>i never get to the plane

or
>i try to punch someone
>i cant
>my punch gets so weak that i dont even reach...
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Anxiety dreams. Generally brought on by stress.
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>>17702638
Dreams have no meaning. They're simply you trying to interpet random brain signals.
How ever your interpret these signals depends really on what you've been thinking about recently.

t. pyschology masters
>>
I have those weak punch dreams as well OP.

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I know a really rich guy, his kids nanny is a Philipino overstayer in the UK her visa expired anout 5 years ago so shes now illegally in the uk. I feel like reporting her. I am fuelled more by my immense hatred for him than by the law. Shes collateral damage.
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>>17702613
Why do you hate her? if she did harm to you or someone you know, do it. But do it anonymously.
>>
I dont hate her, i hater her employer and it will get to him. Shed collateral damage
>>
>>17702613
Rich guy will use lawyers to get out of any trouble and get another nanny

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I get along with pretty much very well, I like everyone and everyone likes me. I really have no social problems and making friends is easy for me. Both male and female.
I've never been in a romantic relationship but girls are attracted to me, I however am usually not.
But there is this one girl in particular I seem to have major issues just talking to her, when it comes to her I watch every word and tend to give generally too many fucks about what I am doing. I can't approach her without feeling like a pussy, a feeling which I haven't really felt for some...
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pls respond
>>
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>>17702610
You are prob in love anon good for you. JUST don't fuck it up by being a creep and try to train yourself talking to her.
>>
You let yourself understand that all emotion is just in your head. Relationships these days always end up badly so don't risk it, unless if you want your life fucked. No human being has some magical bullshit love at first sight nonsense. It's just our mind picking out a sexual partner and nothing more. So, the more you get laid then the less you'll care.

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Why do girls pretend to be vegans all of a sudden? Is it because being a feminist doesn't get them enough attention anymore?
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they think it will prevent them from turning into massive cows
>>
they actually want to be vegans, but it's easy to give up as it's a difficult transition. Men dramatically try this too.
Also feminism isn't for attention, would be the opposite.
>>
this isn't asking for advice, you're whining. Shut the fuck up.

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Hi
I've been taking modafinil for around a year now. Most websites seem to be shutting down. Where is a good place to get some? I understand it's illegal to sale in the UK but not to take. I might get some backlash for this post. I take modafinil because I struggle to concentrate at university and since taking them my grades have improved a lot!

Thanks
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>>17702581

You've been taking it for a year, could you report on side effects and why is it worth it for you to continue taking it?
>>
>>17702581
Dude, don't be a retard. People do ok in college without those shit.
>>
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>>17702795
Does this nigga LOOK like he'll settle for "ok"

Any religious people here?
I'm not very much myself.

I'm waiting for a response, very important, and I'm really scared of a negative outcome.

I don't know if it's gonna help, but could you pray for me?
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boo
>>
>>17702788
*tips fedora*
>>
>>17702569
>I'm waiting for a response, very important, and I'm really scared of a negative outcome.

Can you do something about it? Is it in your control? no? then why worry?

So I've met this wonderful woman who I've been dating for close to two months now and from the beginning she told me she was into the open / poly thing. At first I took it as it was until recently when she started taking interest in someone else and hanging out with different people (I introduced her to) at all hours of the night. Tonight I haven't got more than 1 hr of sleep and I feel as if I'm having symptoms from having a broken heart I.E. chest pain, insomnia, anxiety and what not. Plus it does not help I'm currently trying to stop drinking after...
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Those are things you should overcome regardless of your current situation.

I can write more, but just woke up, and most of my points will be furiously protested against, so first tell me:
Would you like to search yourself, and see if you can find a place within, where you can accept being with someone who also sees other people, possibly see other people yourself, and still build a loving relationship with this woman?

If you only want to change her, or listen to everyone who will inb4 degenerere whore leave leave leave, then I'm out.
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>>17702504
You ain't the same as her man trust me, if you feel this way now you won't change. She may be great and all but there are alot of women out there man don't settle for something thats going to rip you apart because it sounds like it already is. Break it off before you fall deeper anon, life is long man you don't need this shit in your life right now.
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You're not comfortable with poly. That's totally fine, I'm a strict monogamist myself.

But you put yourself in this position, she made it very clear what she wants. All you can do is either suck it up or move on. Personally I advise the latter because this is not something you can just rationalize away. I've seen a lot of guys in your position try to stick around and it just ate them alive.

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Is being in a relationship and having sex and all that kind of stuff as good as people make it out to be?

How does someone who has intense social anxiety and is a unattractive fat shit find someone? God it feels like im being a dramatic fuck
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>>17702500
It is good if you have it with the right person.

You lose weight, improve your body and your overall physical appearance. You go to a therapist and work on your intense social anxiety.
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>Is being in a relationship and having sex and all that kind of stuff as good as people make it out to be?
Yes. It's mindnumbingly good.

>How does someone who has intense social anxiety and is a unattractive fat shit find someone?
You don't. Deal with you anxiety first, lose the fat and max your looks to become attractive. Read The Book of Pook.
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You don't even have to lose weight but you do have to exercise. Exercise calms you on a long term basis by stimulating the growth of neurons that carry GABA, essentially, it's a natural benzo. Secondly, even if you don't lose weight, you will become much more confident.
Thirdly a fat guy can look spectacular with just well defined shoulders and good posture.
All in all if you don't fix your attitude weight loss will do jack shit. You have to approach women like you'd approach other humans. I suggest the above and getting to know women on a casual...
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I have a problem that I believe /adv/ can answer. Even since I learned to fap, I have had two groups of people for whom the fapping is off limits - russians and black people. If I watch a porno and discover it is black on white or I hear anyone speaking in russian in the video, I immediately stop the video and close the tab, even if I would otherwise enjoy the people or the action. I don't have this issue with another groups of people, like asians, hindus or another slavs, but black people and russians in particular. Additionally, I am not talking about gay porn here, I...
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people have preferences.
pretty simple answer. if you aren't attracted to 'em, how do you think you'll get be able to get off 'em?
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>>17702473
>Is my dick racist

Holy fuck why was this so funny?

But yeah technically your dick is racist but it's not wierd. Everybody's got preferences.
>>
Spank Rock - Race Riot on the Dancefloor

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>be me
>9/10 stunner gf
>ohshitthebed.jpg
>one catch. Anxiety/childhood issues
>her abusive ex starts trying to break us two up and threatening her with shit
>said if she tells me he'll hurt her like he has before

What do I do /adv/? I'm kinda scared to try and beat him up since he is taller and fitter than I am but even if I did would he touch her? I'm really stuck...
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sounds like more trouble than it's worth, t b h.
she has baggage, you know this now. it's up to you whether or not you deal with it. doesn't make you any less of a person walking away.
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>>17702472
Save records of his threats.
Tell her to block him on all social media, on her phone, wherever he could contact her.
Spend time with her if he didn't exist. Make her feel safe, happy, loved.
If he ever gets close to her physically, call the cops immediately.
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>>17702479
She's the perfect girl for me and I've been looking so long for her but I'm here for her and she had just about overcome her anxiety and issues and we have been having a great time together until he came walking back. She is definitely worth it he's the only thing bringing her down right now.


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