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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 278. page
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I feel like I have nothing to offer women.

I'm 20 years old, 6'0, athletic, but I am not very attractive. I come from an immigrant family that is pretty well to do. I'm doing well academically and have an offer from a top investment bank. I have hobbies but they're pretty esoteric and most people aren't interested in them. I'm not very social, I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm not good at picking up women although I don't like doing that anyways.

I really want to fall in love again, but as I've gotten older...
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>Young
>Athletic
>Promising career ahead

How is this nothing to offer?

Sounds like your main problems are your insecurities and self doubt. At 22 I was jobless and living in a hostel so I had basically nothing to offer, yet I still had no trouble attracting girls.
>>
>How to meet women?

Anywhere. Join a club, go to the mall/shop etc. Anywhere where women frequent, you can approach.

Read Models by Mark Manson. It will change your life.
>>
>>17665148

its a 4chan myth that all women exclusively date 10/10 alpha chads. there is no army of super model looking men who also all happen to be independently wealthy who all happen to have amazing hobbies.

go to the mall. look around. look at all the couples. hot guys with lesser chicks. hot chicks with lesser guys. ugly people together. mediocre peopel together. people with their own type and some reaching far beyond.

people aren't the vapid robots these boards have made them out to be.

you...
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Hello dear /b/rethren. How fair thee this evening? I would like to inquire some advice about my lover. She currently resides in her mother's household because she's 18 and I am in college. She moved there recently due to problems living at her father's house and her grandparents house because they both have some form of fetish for trying to send her to an Asian country to live. She was born in Taiwan. But getting to the point, her mother's boyfriend who technically owns said household in which she resides, takes in "air bnb" guests. And currently...
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kys desu
>>
Why?
>>
How the fuck can you type like this and have a gf? What am I doing wrong???

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want advice on my comics http://winnippeggers.blogspot.ca/
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>>17665141

no, you want VIEWS on your comics
>>
>>17665141
been a few years since i made a new one trying to figure it out
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>>17665143
i dont care just wanna know wat people think

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Hey /adv/

So I've go severe depression, I take meds etc and I'm gonna start going to group therapy soon.

But recently I've been thinking about it. All the women I try to get with don't have the same issues that I do. Wouldn't it make sense to try to date someone with depression? Help work through it together maybe? I've had some girls reject me because they know how I am, but if a girl is the same maybe we might connect, ya know?

But I also don't know where to find them because if they're like me they most likely...
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And i know the whole "don't stick your dick in crazy" but how can I do that if ive for my own issues.

If i want someone to love and Im the way I am, there's gotta be girls out there that feel the same.
>>
>>17665109
Maybe you can find them at group therapy?

If you get together with someone with the same issues as you it can turn out pretty fucking great or pretty fucking terrible.
>>
>>17665171
Its harder than I thought to get into group therapy

I hope there's some cute girls there but maybe it'll help me as well, therapists never helped.

Fucking AA and all these drug things have thousands of groups, but mental health doesn't. Yet people still wonder why suicide rates are higher than ever.

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How far can anyone take their friend's imitation of yourself as a form of flattery before it becomes annoying/creepy?

>Be a overall introverted person.
>College, everyone is around 21.
>Group of friends generally share similar interest in hobbies. ie: cars etc
>I'm mostly into fashion, drawing, photography and cars.
>"David" isn't fashion minded, nor did he like my other hobbies asides cars.

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>>17665043
Stop overreacting, if hes a good mate why should it matter, you dont have a trademark on your hobbies or how you dress, your a shitcunt for caring what someone else is wearing
>>
He's probably gay for you or maybe he just really looks up to you like an older bro or something.
>>
>>17665071
For awhile, even I thought I was overreacting about David liking the same stuff I do. I tried not to let me bother me, but everyone else in group even mentioned how weird it is when he copies me so much.

going job hunting with mom any advice
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How old are you?
>>
>>17665041
23
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>>17665045
also have https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiP6ZmE-NbPAhXG_R4KHX07CrsQFggmMAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FPervasive_developmental_disorder_not_otherwise_specified&usg=AFQjCNGIaRA0O2qEJrbDmJM2wxbDHXtTIQ&sig2=8RRrfOdS6t0Cf-efPazxiw

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I'm not a nofap fag but does cutting porn out really improve your self confidence? I consider myself to be extremely reserved and most people think im either a creep or an asshole. It's like a deer in headlights effect when I'm in a group setting or around new/unfamiliar people i go into this weird autistic robotic trance. I'm fine around people i've known and held onto for years so maybe I could act this way around new people too?

tl;dr does quitting porn provide any benefit to your life whatsoever ?/ how can I become less reserved around people?
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>>17664946

id imagine not. there might be different types of rushes and chemicals and such ,but especially in just a general social sense, no.

if you take away porn you are now craving more interaction iwth women (or dudes if thats your thing). ergo you are more likely to approach women. not because you are confident but because you need to in order to see them naked.

confidence is the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

when we think of guys who are 'confident' we basically...
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>>17664987
thanks
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>>17664946
treat people like they are your best friend and the more you practice talking to people the better you get.

I have bad anxiety

I recently start counselling for it, but it's definitely going to be a long time before I have it to a manageable level.

I'm currently in college for programming, in my third semester. My anxiety was manageable (albeit barely) and I was able to be successful. It's definitely getting in the way this semester, all my stress is getting in the way of me being successful.

It's making it hard for me to make friends, I'm going girl crazy because of how attractive everyone is. I don't feel comfortable with myself, I don't feel comfortable talking to new people. All the stress from school makes it impossible to find time for it anyways.

I feel like I'm wasting what's supposed to the best time of my life.
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>>17664944
>I feel like I'm wasting what's supposed to the best time of my life.
college is not the best time of your life don't sweat it get your degree get the fuck out of where ever you are just focus on moving forward. trust me 5-10 years after college NO ONE gives a flying fuck
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>>17664990
I'm not even going to fucking get my degree at this fucking rate
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>>17664944
but seriously just don't worry too much
I'm sure in a few years you'll find your equilibrium.

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Hey all, title kind of gives the run of it, I'm changing my life around completely. I had a psychologically abusive childhood, lead to PTSD and an anxiety disorder which came on all at once three years ago. I've spent the last year and a half going to therapy figuring it all out, resolving issues, settling things, really dealing with all of my obstacles that I had from the past. I find now that what's left to me is to start actually doing new things for myself, living I guess. I run three miles 3 times a week, recently started meditating, got promoted at work,...
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>>17664897
This is awesome.

Catalogue information in a new way, ie
Analyze words with a new method and consciously reorient the way you create sentences. You will notice many people who are not operating at their best often mutter all sorts of negativity unto themselves. Do not be that person.

I sympathize for your childhood trauma.
No matter what, life is beautiful and you are here now. Commit to changing your diet and avoiding your bad habits.
Change can happen fast.

One Love.
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Really appreciate it, thanks for the reply man
>>
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I know that feel my man. Started doing something similar at the start of this semester of college.
>got back into running
>started really trying to make friends for once instead of relying on my old friends always being there
>started getting really involved at uni, including getting involved with a paid research position
>at the school 14-16 hours a day every weekday, even though I "live with parents" I basically don't even any more

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what is wrong with me?
girl i like alot, i eventually find out shes rich and has very social life, i used to talk to her all the time no problem but after finding out, i getting this weird feeling and i dont want to talk to her anymore but i still like her
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it's probably because you're jealous. when you find out someone is far more popular and successful than you imagine, it comes as a shock, and you feel insecure as a result. another good reason is that you start to feel that if she has so much good stuff in her life, why would she care about you?

been through stuff like this, one of my first gfs was way more popular and well liked by everyone, and it made me pretty weird and insecure around her

best advice would be to just keep it cool, and don't take her social standing so seriously..it's...
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>>17664854
Not op but still thanks, I really needed that
>>
OP here cant reply to people for some reason but
>it's probably because you're jealous
no
>successful than you imagine, it comes as a shock, and you feel insecure as a result
more like it, because shes the first person that made me feel wanted and showed some signs that she liked me even though i ignored them fearing i might be other thinking and i just thoughts she has no social life like me so that also.
>another good reason is that you start to feel that if she has...
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I love my girlfriend, I really do, but we have some differences that I try to deal with but ultimately it bothers me intensely.

I'm a very sexual person, never had a relationship without some freaky shit going on. Except for this relationship, where my gf refuses to even consider sex until marriage, and even then there's a likelihood that it wont happen.

I'm an atheist and my gf is hardcore christian, we're fine with eachother's religious differences except she refuses to have sex like, ever, and although I love her I cant figure out if...
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Other than leaving her all you can really do is try to figure out exactly what drivers her decision not to have sex.

Most of the time it's years of sexual repression and shame, which means she really can be quite freaky if you get past this barrier

As to the concept of waiting till marriage itself you could argue it as ultimately demeaning to women rather than respectful.
>>
You either deal with it or break up. There's no getting around this
>>
Listen to something like the "My Dad Wrote a Porno" podcast together and make sex not seem so serious.

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If the ones you want don't want you
And the ones who want you, you don't want

Is it better to settle or opt out completely and go your own way?
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>>17664787

I regret settling.

I initially had a bad gut feeling about settling. Shoulda have listened to my gut.

But your dick kinda overrules when there's a naked woman on your bed waiting for you when you get out of the shower.
>>
Depends, theres a difference between settling and compromising in my book.
Life is full of compromise, if you wait for that perfect "the one" type person, well you're going to miss out on a lot of life son. No 2 people match perfectly, you have to pick your battles and overlook some things, and in turn they will be doing the exact same thing with you. Compromise is fine, it's just another part of life.

Settling however, id when you have almost nothing you like about them. They're a 3/10 at best, you have next to nothing in common, and you're...
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>>17664806
Not OP but none of the women I meet are available or interested except for a couple every now and again. They all lose interest and "ghost" me eventually. I'm convinced that no woman has ever truly liked me and were just latching onto me temporaririly because the guy they wanted was not meeting an emotional want of theirs.

There's been maybe a couple women who liked me for real but I wasn't physically attracted to them in the slightest so I declined. I am pretty convinced that I will...
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My mom keeps cradling my cat like a baby and he hates it. I think she's a big part of the reason why he's less social/loving with the family. She's big, loud, and likes to antagonize people for sport. She's basically an asshole sometimes, and will almost always put her own feelings ahead of yours.

I've told her he hates it, but she just says "oh no he loves it" as he's trying desperately to get away from her. I've been less nice and more of a cunt about it, but she doesn't care and just calls me a teenager or implies I...
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>>17664725

move out?
>>
It's simple


Steal the catto
>>
Move out of your moms house first of all you fking manchild. But second of all it's your cat and you need to lay down the law. Maybe get a spray bottle for when your mom misbehaves? And get some treats for when her fat ass is good. That's how I trained my mom to behave around animals at least.

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I think that you might think I might be highly narcissistic

I more than once came up with philosophical concepts and shit before I knew they existed

I think im pretty objective and that I see things differently from everyone else

all the time Im saying things not because I mean them but because I know what people would think if im were to be honest, they wouldnt believe im being honest. and saying certain things is more efficient than saying the truth

I feel like my perspective is always more objective, not because its mine but because I have no issue...
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>I more than once came up with philosophical concepts and shit before I knew they existed

Oh right so, you 'came up with philosophical concepts' that have existed for hundreds of years before you even knew about them. Think about it, these ideas have permeated culture, they are embedded in our daily lives. What I mean to say is, most people can make that claim because the ideas are ALREADY FUCKING THERE.

THINK ABOUT ALL THE MEDIA YOU HAVE CONSUMED CONSTANTLY THAT WILL INFLUENCE YOU, AND NOT IN A LITERAL WAY BUT IN A MORE...
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>>17664716
>>17664794
Listen to this guy OP

You didn't come up with these concepts, you absorbed them by osmosis from movies and books and listening to people talk and tangentially reference them

Yeah you may be smarter than average, but some are billions of other people

If you can't apply your knowledge in a technical real-world way then you are not intelligent. Intelligence is being able to manifest the innards of your mind as real world effects.
>>
>I think that you might think I might be highly narcissistic

Honestly, OP, I don't think anything about you at all.

Ok so driving with my dad when about an hour and a half ago he starts drinking. Dude is not driving well and kinda getting worried. What do
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>>17664695
Take the wheel?
>derp
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>>17664699
Hes not the happiest individual when drunk. He's probably just yell and say no.
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>>17664699
Plus can't drive.

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not trolling

5'10
275lbs
don't shave, hair a mess
dress like a bum
funny, can talk
the funny guy at parties
get numbers easily

is this normal? it's making me not want to get fit
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Get fit for your own health, not to impress women. Be funny and fit, proceed to win at life.
>>
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>>17664662
but do you get pussy or
>>
Nigger i workout because it makes me healthier, happier, and more proud of myself. Has nothing to do with women.

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>stopped caring how I look like because I will always be ugly
>wear sweatpants all day long
>anything which is comfy is good enough
>stopped shaving
>have long hair which I only badly fix
>people started to give me attention
>2 girls gave me their numbers
>some people at college asked me if I want to hang out with them
I...
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>>17664636
Because you're doing what you want to, which is probably giving off an aura of confidence.
>>
>>17664642
Could also be the hair... I don't know
>>
>>17664642
Literally how? I'm still as autistic as it gets and do all my beta hobbies, I just thought that my looks will always be terrible, even if I try to look as fashionable as possible, my face etc. will always be ugly, so I wanted to be as comfy as possible while forcing myself to do something in life.

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Hi /adv/, so I was planning to leave my home and live on my own, I'm going to suffer but I have to do it.

This is my list of items I need, what am I missing?

Kitchen

>fridge (the most expensive item)
>a pot
>a pan
>cheap electric grill for cooking
>cheap dishes and fork/spoon/knifes...
>Somewhere to store food like beans/rice/pasta
>soap...
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I'm moving out on the weekend, but I'm not suffering I just want my own apartment.

> Also, how much of my income should I spend on rent?
Something like a quarter or a third of your income after tax, depends on the area.

Landlords is required to provide "white goods" like fridges, at least where I live.
Do you really need food storage? where can you find a house without cupboards.

Anyway here's some... scissors, lamp shades, conditioner, bleach, salt/pepper, pizza tray.

If you can't...
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You're going to want a lot more cleaning supplies for starters. Outside of the shit you need to replenish frequently, like soap, toilet cleaner, shit like that, you're gonna want a vacuum, mop and broom, trash cans, etc. Especially since you'll likely live in a cheap shit hole that's gonna be filthy.
If you don't have access to a washing machine/dryer, you'll want to look into that. Laundomats will eat up your money quickly.
You'll want to invest in some safety items, such as a fire extinguisher if it's not provided for you, a rudimentary first aid kit with the basics, and some basic shit like candles/flashlights.

Also, protip, don't sweat your electricity too much. I'll tell you, I've got 3 people living in my house, and 90% of our monthly electric bill is running the AC. In the summer, our bill is in the $200 range. In the spring and fall, it's like $50 because we just open windows and allow ourselves to be slightly uncomfortable (In the winter our gas bill spikes). If you want to save money on bills, sweat or shiver it out. (Keep in mind depending on where you live, in the winter you can't just shut your heat off all together because then your pipes will freeze and you will have a bad time.)
>>
>>17664632
>mattress

just get a futon.
a lot cheaper and the quality difference is marginal.

>computer

You expect me to believe you typed out all of this on your phone?

>somewhere to put clothes

that's called a dresser
You probably don't need one though, if you are planning on going really frugal

>what am I missing?

A table.

>sketchbook

Pencils.

>What is good for entertainment that is cheap and non electronic? (books are expensive so no)

m8, you sound plain retarded.

I don't know what is up with you and non electricity, but it is unbelievably stupid.

I would recommend learning an instrument, but that requires the internet(and therefore electricity) to learn via online tutorials.
And if you ever want to actually do something with your music, like posting it online, then you will still need electricity.

Other than that, art is pretty much your only other option.

I'm not even going to finish writing this shit. This i s just toa mucha

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Pretty sure everybody thinks I'm a cunt, how to fix?
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>>17664581
Don't be a cunt
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>>17664586
how, you make that sound simple
>>
>>17664589

stop being cunty?

stop being a recluse?

stop looking at people weird?

although if you're an aussie, you'll always be a cunt m8, there isn't no rectifying that tragedy.

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Sup /pol/

I'm high on that life-correctional shit right now. It's just first steps, but in what order should tackle these problems:

1. Porn-addiction (bad and pretty fucked)
2. Smoking (half a pack a day roughly)
3. Laziness (pretty fucking bad/don't work out)
4. Social skills (not autistically bad but needs work. I lack topics.)
5. Unemployment (not super important, since I get paid to study)

I feel like each problem is an excuse not to tackle the others, so I don't trust myself on the order. So in all my brilliance I've...
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donno why the fuck I wrote pol I never go there (I swear I'm a leftist)
>>
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how many times do u see porn?
>>
>>17664523

>>17664523
>I never go there (I swear I'm a leftist)

You never go there except for work,shill? right?
I'm right.
Your typing is exactly the same as all the Shill threads.

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I want people to praise me and raise my self esteem so I'm thinking about making an instagram. How do I get popular if I'm not a cute girl?
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you have to develop your personality/talents to the point that strangers would care
>>
>>17664478

post pictures of cute girls and pretend you're them.
>>
>>17664478
It won't raise your self esteem at all I promise. It just turns into a competitive thing

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Should I tell my friend that I want to have sex with her? We're not particularly close or anything, but she's got a nice body and she's pretty cool too
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I don't see why not
>>
Yeah dude go for it.
>>
>>17664460
>Should I tell my friend that I want to have sex with her? We're not particularly close or anything,

Bad idea, at least add some subtlety first.
Don't just bust out "DAYUMN GIRL, I would... I would. Keep doing dem squats girl cuz I'd deffo hit that".

Ask if she's got a boyfriend.
>She says "no"?
"Why not, you're cute?"
>She says yes
"Lucky...
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So a bit crazy super hot girl I work with kinda drunkenly (we go for beers with the folk at work a lot, I know americans apparently don't do that) admitted she's got some sort of a fat fetish and that she masturbates a lot thinking about fattening me up.

She's pretty hot, like 9/10 body and a weirdly cute Natalie Dormer-like face, and she's really great to talk with.

Wat do.
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>>17664448
>sort of a fat fetish and that she masturbates a lot thinking about fattening me up.


Invite her for a drink then if she accepts that offer invite her over to yours for pizza and cake.
>>
Honestly, she sounds a bit crazy. Don't stick it in crazy.
>>
>>17664459
Odds are that she'd be the one to invite ME over.

>>17664466
I know she's a bit loose but she's medicated and sees a shrink. No pets, only a few tasteful tattoos. Like, light coke -crazy.

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Is it legal to pull out a blade or some sort of weapon if people are threatening you and you become outnumbered with more than one person trying to attack can you use a weapon as a method of deterrence to get them to stop and if they keep coming at you just use the weapon to keep yourself safe?

I just heard a story from someone that someone saw someone in their house in their kids room and shot them and then they got arrested for it. How can it be illegal to use a gun or something in your house? I heard a story that a rapper had people come in his house and he shot and...
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Stand your ground laws only exist in certain states. Those laws basically allow gun/weapon owners to KILL attackers if they are actively posing a threat to their life.

Regardless of whether or not it exists in your state, I would absolutely pull a knife on an attacking group if it means saving my life.
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>>17664424
Ok I knew the stand your ground laws but I wasn't attempting to kill just a stab to stop them or a good cut or something. I hear a lot of stories of people surviving stabbings and shit so I wasn't assuming death.

But no I live in New York so no stand your ground
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>>17664430
>New York

Kill them and dump the body. Im dead serious. You're better off trying to get away with it than not trying. You'll go to prison either way, so might as well go balls deep.

I'm 23 soon and balding pretty hard. How much will it fuck up my dating life? Can a guy be bald and still considered hot in some way?
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Can you at least rock a buzz cut or is it fugged?
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>>17664411
>Shave head.
>Grow goatee.
>Get tattoos.
Problem solved.
>>
Just shave it all off. Some girls like bald guys. my sister's engaged to one

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> be me
> senior in HS
> have gone out with a girl i've been crushing on for years three times so far this quarter, she's really enjoyed all of the things we've done
> don't really talk in school because she's shy and usually wants to be by herself
> didn't have the balls to actually touch her/say we're going on an actual date
> on the way back to her house...
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>>
9 days is plenty of fucking time. Collect yourself and ask her to homecoming before she gets cucked away.

Put it in your head that she's the shy one and make it happen. It's just a dance. It doesn't need to be perfect.
>>
>>17664412
Okay. Should I say anything in particular since I was a cuck and waited too long, or just straight up ask her? I'm leaning towards the latter because if I get too wordy I might drop the spaghetti, but i'm iffy on whether or not I need to say something to compensate for the fact that i'm a moron.
>>
>>17664422
Straight up asking her , preferably with a little lead in . A lot of nu males on this board will say that this is a bad idea , but anything that makes you vulnerable as men actually makes you attractive (i.e. , asking a girl out in the blue ) because women don't want orbiters or people who are full of themselves , but people who take chances . Plus you already hung out with this girl so she probably already likes you .

The sooner , the better OP. I got cucked once by two days back in high school . Godspeed .

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I missed a court date and now have a warrant. What should I do?
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>>17664375
run
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>>17664380
That's not helpful

Just continue living life, try not to encounter cops?
>>
It was a misdemeanor, I was sentenced to pay a fine of $150. But I kind of forgot... or didn't care enough. And am just now remembering, I realize this can come back to bite me later on

>start diet
>stick to it religiously
>no problem
>lose 35 lbs
>loosen up on it/give up on it
cant remeber what did this
>gain 10 lbs
>trouble sticking to 1500 calories anymore
what do.
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>>17664290
shit i don't know but I wish i could cut down to 1500, it's so hard to do
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>>17664300
yeah
its hard now but back then it wasn't as insane as it was.
I used to just eat veggies and chicken but god i got sick of cooking chicken every night so i decided to go fuck it and started eating whatever.
>>
How much do you weight? 1500 calories is pretty low, you shouldn't consume less than 500 calories under your maintenance level.

Anyways, you should eliminate all calorie bombs and foods with low nutritional values from your diet. Your diet should consist mostly of vegetables and meat. If you have trouble keeping a diet like this you should start working out more. Cardio will help you loose more calories on the spot, but weight lifting will help you more in the long run (higher muscle mass means more calorie consumption at all times).

In fact I think it's mandatory to exercise along diet whenever you're trying to lose weight. If you're consuming much under your maintenance calorie and have no physical activities your body goes in hibernation mode and stores all the energy it can get. You will still lose weight, but as soon as you stop dieting you'll get that weight back at alarming rates. Exercising will also increase the amount of calories you require so you'll be able to eat more.

any advice on figuring out this clown bullshit? whered it come from? why is it so prevalent? is it a weirs fad or is there organization to the madness?
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>>17664271

someone did it for fun. others followed suit. its prevelant because it went viral. it went viral because its an odd real life occurence that mirrors thigns we've seen in the media.

clowns roam in the uncanny valley, and while many argue clowns arent scary, the ones that are purposely grotesque are designed to psychologically scare us.

its just a fad. one guy did something. others wanted to do it too.
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>>17664271
I just saw one. My car broke down and I was trying to push start it behind some a shopping center. He only had white face paint and was smoking an e-cig. I was getting ready to fight him but he kept on walking.
>>
what i dont get is that some are out there intimudating grown adults and some are offering children candy to come into the woods

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I was gonna post this on r9k but they dont allow advice threads or something. I'm going to my first appointment with a therapist. I'm pretty spregy and am hoping to be able to acquire NEETbucks. What do I need to say or not say so that I dont fuck this up like everything else I've done in life? Also I dont want to be institutionalized.

TL:DR: how to get NEETbux for being sperglord
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>>17664270
Do you want to someone or yourself?
If yes, try an institution, they're actually pretty good.
>>
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self bump
>>
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pls respond my appointment is in the morning


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