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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 279. page
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How long did it take you to get a job in high school?
Most of time after school ends up being a lot of making phone calls and filling out apllications, and I've been doing this for a good month or so, with no good results. What do you guys think?
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well, best thing to do is to go volunteer your work for free in an area you want to have a career in. Just show up to the place and tell them what you want to do and that the experience would be enough for you. It almost always leads to a job.
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>>17664269
Two weeks. I've filled out dozens and dozens and dozens of online applications, I never got a single callback until I went physically into the place and asked to speak to the manager.
My sister got a fast food job today. She filled out the application online, and then went in a couple times a week. She got an interview last week, but they never called. She went in today on a whim, and the manager hired her on the spot.

If you have an inbox with 75 applications in it, and one of those people shows...
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>>17664269
When I was in high school and finally old enough for a job the recession was in full swing. I didn't really get a job til I was 22.

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I don't know if you guys remember me but a few weeks ago I wrote about how I came across a picture of my grandmother. I became infatuated with the picture and started to fall in love with my grandmother. I start visiting her every day just to see her.

I started off by rubbing her feet for her and working my way up to rubbing her back. One day when she was tired and on her meds I leaned in for a kiss. It was for a good 3 or 5 seconds but it felt magical. I was unsure of whether or not she was lucid enough to remember it.

I'll see her again tonight. I'm...
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...what?
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>>17664254
wow she was pretty cute

also this would be a good plotline for a book

tell her the truth before she bites the dust
what do you even want from her tho?
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>>17664254
she looks hot in that pic but does she look anything like that now?

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okay, here is the situation -and sorry if i'm not doing this properly, it is my first time posting here-:
>meet girl
>get along very, very well
>she is as excited to spend time with me -at least when we are at the same place- as i am to spend time with her, -perhaps even more after this:- but she isn't flirty
>turns out she has a bf
>she is still very friendly
>even if i don't...
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She isn't reciprocating, and she has a bf.

If you are still attached to her, take a break from hanging out and assess if you can even remain friends without you ruining everything.

Don't think about pursuing her unless she is having irreparable problems in her relationship to where she tells you she is going to end it.

I'm not saying that there isn't ever going to be a future, but move on for now, remain friends, and revisit this topic again later when the above things mentioned aren't an issue. Don't wait around for this one.
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>>17664253
This is of course the logical thing to do, but I can't stop thinking that if she knows I like her, she might turn to me. Our "friendship" is truly sincere, we are -my looks apart- made for each other, so I keep thinking she would feel the same way and eventually come to me. I know this is quite naive thinking, but I can't help it. And this is also why I want her friendship even without the romance: There aren't many people I share the things I share with her, and I rarely make close friends.
And...
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This problem is like mine but kinda different.
>Same lines 1-3 (Meet girl etc. etc.)
First date ever thanks to friend whoop.

>Take her out for lunch. Go to her house to see her artwork.

>Text a lot for four days. Really short response times. Responds at any time.

>hangout at her work place (she's a tutors she has free time.)

>messages start dwindling.

>Still hangout...
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This semester I'll be graduating Community College with an Associate's. I want to do animation, and preferably, do studio work (entry level positions from the degree like storyboarding) on the side, while doing things like music, comedy, animation (of my own series), writing, and the like. There's three school options so far:

1) Is the old State school I went to before I graduated CC with a 3.4, I failed out after not being used to the college system straight out of high school. Decently cheap (~4000) never mind an apartment with my friends(~2500), who themselves will be graduating within a few years. Animation and Illustration major, covers 2D (preferred) and 3D. Should have all 55-58 Associate credits transfer, start as a junior, finish degree in 2 to 2 1/2 years. Problem is, because I failed out, I lost all aid and have to submit an appeal to get it back, plus, even though credits transfer GPA still counts from failed classes (0.70) 3 years back. Would need aid to go at all, we're poor. Portfolio req'd; I can only draw cartoons and shitty observationals

2) Another upstate school, 4000 with fees included, off campus probably similar to school #1, but with new people I don't know. Or ~6000 for room and board bringing to 20k a year, which unless is covered fully is too much. Primarily 3D animation (more marketable) No portfolio required.

3) Nearby school. 3200-4000 tuition. No room/board, commute. Everything about this school fits best with me being able to work, to stay at my pa'a and keep my dog, not give him to my ma. Problem is one, they want a portfolio too. Two, the major is graphic design, which is more broad, possibly more earning potential, but definitely more boring, mathematical approach to art

Please help, I'm going nuts
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Bump
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I can't tell you what to choose but I can tell you from experience that if you're going to do school and work simultaneously, do not get in over your head.

If you can only handle 12 credit hours, don't go above it just to graduate sooner.

Taking 6 years of college is fine as you're getting the grade. Employers literally don't care how long you're in school as long as you've got the skills
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>>17664365
That's a trap to feed more money into the system, there's no reason a 4 year degree shouldn't take you 4 years

But still, at most it should be 2 1/2 years for any of the options I listed even going just 12 credits 12+12=24+24=48+12=60 credits, since I have about that, I should be set

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Why do so many graduated music majors say majoring in music is a bad idea yet they have done it themselves? This literally comes out of every music majors mouth. If they think it's a bad idea how come they went through with it?
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2
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Because they are smarter in hindsight.
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I'm a music student, planning to make it my major even though I realise it's not a very safe career financial wise.

I can't speak for other people, but I'm guessing it's such a passion that it's not really a choice for them to do anything else. That doesn't mean we can't be self-aware.

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My gf has had a rough childhood and isn’t ready nor can afford therapy. How do I help her?
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>>17664178
By leaving her and escaping toxic relationship where you won't get pussy, will be screamed at, blamed for everything and at the end she will threaten to an hero if you will want to dump her.
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>>17664192
thats what i was gonna say
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Leave.

Mental illness will destroy relationships without the proper help. You will struggle and show as much empathy as you can possibly muster, but there will be a breaking point. No amount of reading up on mental issues will help the relationship other than slightly understanding what is going on.

Either have her find a way to fund therapy or leave.

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>Was on tinder months ago
>Had this girl from there on my snapchat
>We chat every now and again, nothing serious but haven't met
>Have date with her Saturday

She is Mexican, only been in the states for 6 months, but she speaks near perfect english because she is a language major. She seems really nerdy, and her accent is 10/10, never heard a mexican with her accent before.

But I'm honestly thinking of flaking. She is here for...
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>>17664164
Fuck her then when times up ship her on the first boat back from where she came from
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>>17664164
Fuck her then go to a Vegas chapel and get married. Continue fucking her for however long and then get it annulled or something.
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She's Mexican. If you fuck her, you are 20x more likely to conceive a little frito pendejo than with any other woman.

I only say this as you are already second guessing this whole thing and you probably don't want an anchor baby relationship. I am not joking around. They are always ovulating and their eggs are heat seeking.

I am 181 cm tall (5.11 or 6 feet) and weight only 55 kilos (121 lbs) how do i get fatter ? I am 18 by the way
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go to fit, read the sticky
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>>17664130
Wtf.
I'm a manlet and I weight more than you. I'm pretty sure I could even beat you in a fight.
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>>17664137
i bet everyone could beat me in a fight at the moment hahahaha

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I really fucked up.

Long story short, I violated a provision of the syllabus in one of my classes at law school. The resulting punishment is automatic failure of the class.

The professor says he doesn't want to force me to fail or repeat (because the highest grade you can get when you repeat it is a C), but it's explicitly stated in the syllabus that the resulting punishment is failure.

He called me in and told me that I have one chance to give him a reason to not enforce it to the full extent. The only thing I've managed to think of is...
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You have to tell us what this rule is so we can help you argue against enforcing it. Idiot.
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>>17664110

What is your transgression?
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>>17664113
>>17664114

Used the internet on my laptop in class for non-class related purposes.

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How long into dating someone would you consider being exclusive with a woman?

How long do you give someone to decide they want to be in a relationship before moving on?
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>>17664003

what are you looking for?

someone to bang
if you don't bang on day one, move on.

someone to marry
well, they shouldn't be easy, should they? as long as the relationship isn't ever stagnating, I'd say up to 6 months.

but most of the time women come out with that shit and tell you that they wanna be exclusive on day one you bang.
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After the first date. If I like her I won't pursue anyone else as long as things are fine with this one. If I don't I never call her again.

If she doesn't do the same I move on. I don't like the woman I'm dating to be dating someone else too, even if we're only 2 dates in. Also, who the fuck does that? I don't think I've known anyone over the age of 20, male or female dating 2 people at a time, no matter how early it is in their relationship.
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>>17664003
I usually communicate with them via talking.

I find it isn't wise to make assumption about the future of relationship based on the days that have been marked off a calender.

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What do you guys do when you're down on your mood? Been locked up in my house for almost 3 days straight doing nothing but playing vidyas and eroges.
I thought about practising guitar or maybe meditating.Maybe going outside? There aren't many things that I can do /out/, my pals are all busy and I already got tired of walking alone doing nothing.
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Well usually reading fiction or watching chinese cartoons improves my mood, but I doubt it would work in your case, since it seems you're getting depressed from staying inside for so long. Yeah, go outside. preferably interact with other people too. If you have the posibility join a club or start practicing an amateur sport that involves other people. Or pretty much do anything that gets you out of the house and involves other people. Doing stuff outside by yourself will help to, like jogging or fishing or something, but it's preferable to interact with people while...
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>>17663924
Doing things with people always improves my mood. Honestly, going to work tends to improve my mood. I get my lowest on the weekends. Maybe find a sociable part time job?
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>>17663924

Get out of the house. Doing nothing all day will only drag down your mood. Is it autumn where you're at? That can affect your mood greatly, don't let it win. Get out of the house, do something. You don't need your mates to go to places or to experience things, while staying indoors for extended period of time and screwing your sleep rhythm will bring you down.

Hey /adv/.

I'm a freshman in college and was woefully underprepared for how hard college level work is.

Context:
I would say I'm decently smart and so I I've never really worked that hard to get good grades in high school. I would go into tests without studying and would usually get in the low 90s. If I did study I would almost always get 100s. I've kinda set this expectation in my head that the difficult part of school isn't the actual schooling but the social side of this.

College has swiftly crushed that expectation. I just...
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College was so easy, I don't know what you whippersnappers keep complaining about

>show up to class
>take notes on lecture
>review powerpoints
>do all the homework (+2 hours a day minimum)
>email teacher specific problem questions constantly
>check in with them during office hours to review test scores and answers

If you are doing all of this and you still fail, then...
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>>17663921
what did you study?
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>>17663921
>check in with them during office hours to review test scores and answers

That wouldn't be considered tryhard-y or aggressive?

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Fell in love with a friend I see daily.
>what do?

She's always been one of the girls I've respected the most on this planet. In the last year she's lost a lot of weight, and now she's also the hottest girl I've ever had any sort of relationship with. As far as I know she doesn't have any interests in other people, but she's not interested in me either.
I've never felt so deeply for anyone before, but I'm a virgin and don't know how to proceed.
I am fairly attractive honestly, but...
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>>17663802

You are not in love, that's called a "crush". If she is not into you, not much you can do, senpai.

Look elsewhere.
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>>17663810

Hahaha, holy shit! 4Chan changed "F A M" into "senpai". I had to spell it out so it doesn't get changed again.
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>>17663802
You just have a crush on her.
She got hot, you realised she had a vagina all of a sudden and now you're all excited about it.
Just get over it.

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Hey /adv/ i have a question. What does it mean when you fall out of love with someone? Or rather why does that happen? I've never felt that so if someone who has felt that care to explain how that happens or what exactly is going through there head when that happens? I'm just curious because my gf of 2 and a half years broke up with me last week and her reason was because she doesn't feel the same anymore. But the next day she regrets the decision, and we get back together. Than yesterday we broke up again. She also suffers from depression but she says that her...
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this is disgustingly similar to what im going through
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>>17663791

love exists because evolution. we needed to have feelings for people to stop us from just fucking them and leaving, because humans survive better when they are taken care of by two parents. it fades because it only wants you to be together long enough to take care of some kids.

human relationships are greater than the sum of their parts. A lot of people acknowledge that love was strictly a chemical reaction created through evolution, but that it can 'mean' so much more philisophically.

your...
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>>17663844
Really? We can confide in eachother whats going anon?
>>17663861
Thanks for that explanation anon, what i got from that is that she is out of love with me and only got back with me because it didn't feel right since we need consistency.

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roommates how often should you do the dishes?
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>>17663765
After every meal.
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You shouldn't be leaving dishes in the sink at all.

Either wash and put them away or put in the dishwasher.
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so you guys do the dishes right after every meal?

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I was dating a girl for several months, who I loved. She was an alcoholic, got physically abusive, and I dumped her like she was nothing (from her perspective it was actually very difficult).

Within three days a 'friend' of mine is her new boyfriend.

Three months later I talk to her again, she's having troubles with her rebound boyfriend. Her trouble is "the spark is gone" and "but it never died with you."

She gets me watching a movie with her and starts questioning me, I don't realize it but she's trying to find...
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>>17663759

You are not Chad. You are not an Alpha in charge of a relationship. You are the girls side piece. She is holding your leash, can't you see?

You are in a psychologically abusive relationship that could turn physically abusive, as it had before.

Do yourself a favor and walk out of there.
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>>17663767
>Do yourself a favor and walk out of there
actually do yourself a favor and run the fuck out of there and don't say a word to the bf. In fact it is to your benefit she has a bf to keep her occupied. Disafuckingpear
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>>17663767
Well I see where you are coming from, it seems very legitimate, but she claims its inevitable she will dump her boyfriend, and that he isn't sexual enough for her.

She wants me to be her sex guy, with no strings attached.

Is this really a bad thing? I mean I'm getting my balls sucked and such, and I don't have to commit to her. It seems like such a good deal but you're probably right that I'm misunderstanding it, since I want the sex.

I'm having trouble posting, hope this goes.

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>19 years of age / Male
>Met this cute girl at a convention, rocking a Yang cosplay
>So I'm like heyyy ;)
>Got me a pic
>Joked around some, then left
>So a few days later I'm like hey that girl was nice, I'll add her on facebook
>I find her in the con's group
>Add her
>She...
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Why let age stop you?
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so she's 26? what's the big deal? are you sad because she's so much older that it is a turn off, or because you don't think she'll consider you due to your age?

I've dated older women my whole life, biggest age difference has been 11 years. It's just a conversation topic, easy to overcome.
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>>17663757
Unless she doesn't date younger people there isn't a problem imo

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I was so sexually fucked up when I was a young. My hormones were just out of fucking control and I regret what I did as a kid every day of my life. I can’t let go what I did, and I can’t just fucking forget what I did. Thinking about the weird sexual things I did from 5-14 makes me want to end my life. Regret is an understatement. I wish I could go back and fix everything, so that I could have had a more “normal childhood”. This has been driving me insane for years. It sounds like I’m being a tad bit emotional, but I can tell you I am being sincere. I mean it. I want...
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Therapy may help.
Open up, tell me what you're ashamed about. I won't judge.
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I had my first orgasm while i was in kindergarden. Was playing with my dick and i suddenly came, i thought im gonna piss myself. Am jerking off ever since.
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>>17663788
buddy you have no fucking idea.
>>17663775
I'm looking into finding my old therapist, and it looks like I've finally got his number. I plan on going back to my home town one weekend just to meet with him. I need to talk to somebody in person about this.

I distinctively remember having a vore fetish as a kid. It was fueled by cartoons. Yeah. Glad I don't have that anymore.

When I was very young I would get my younger brother to sit...
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My boyfriend is still friends with his ex and personally, i feel weird about it. This is a situation i've never been in and honestly do not want to be in. He wants us to hang out and be '''friends''' but it takes two to make a friendship- and in the past there had been no initiative from her.

How do I stop myself from being female 'cucked'? I'm so fucking ugly compared to his ex. please just kill me now.
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>>17663721
The hips say slut but the top says "I'll ask my handle if I can come".
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>>17663721
Also it's called cuckquean. You either

>actually develop something that you can use over him to force him to behave
>accept you have nothing and behave as he wants you too

The world is fair, you either good enough or you not. If you not and the only way keeping him is if you watch his dick get sucked by another girl then shit, what was you doing for the past years? Why you not a doctor holding him for ransom? What was you thinkin if...
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>>17663732
i want to die but thanks anyways

So I just got a turtle like about a week ago, a little red eared slider brah and whenever i offer him anything to eat he just pulls himself in and out of his shell, but doesn't eat it. What the fuck is he doing? I'm going to start getting earthworms and shit just to tempt him.
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>>17663700
Maybe it's sick.
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>>17663712
I'm afraid of that, but it's like he's wiggling, I don't understand.
>>
>>>/an/

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My boyfriend just told me he won't be talking to me fer a while, that he has personal problems and needs to be alone. Do you think that he wants to leave me? or that he just has a problem and needs to think about them? Should I ask him what's wrong? or just accepting him? What shoul I do??? Plz help me, I'm really worried, I don't want him to leave me
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>>17663696
give him some time. if he leaves you that's nothing you can prevent. only time can tell
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>>17663696
Give him a week to collect his thoughts. Then reach out to him lightly. He may be ready to open up or need more time. You can wait, express how much you love him and want to be with him. But let him have his space, because you cant force him to open up, if you try he'll only resent you.
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>>17663696
That means he's going to fuck around with someone becouse maybe he's obessed with you. Maybe he's going to have something like operation, or surprise for you, or another girl in his bed. There are many possibilities.

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18 y/o male here

i just see no reason to live. i go to school, sit there for 8 hours thinking about other shit and looking at the clock.
afterwar school i go to the gym out of habit, theres no passion involved or anything like that, i just feel like i absolutely have to.
on weekends i usually go out to drink with some pseudo friends.
pretty much everyone likes me, im funny and all that but once im alone all i think about is killing myself.
i just see no reason, its the same bullshit everyday, women talk to me and i go along with it but i always think theyre...
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>>17663629
>please tell me what i should live for.
Are you familiar with Jesus Christ?
>>
Just try to focus on things you love to do and youll feel better
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>>17663629
Are you me? Same here although I stopped exercising last week. I see no motivation to do anything. I sometimes find out that I'm hungry and I make some food and I sit there and I just don't feel like eating. I eat only because I think I have to.

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How do i stop making men fall in love with me? It's so addictive...
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London?
If so you can have my number
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>>17663559
Realize you're insecure and a narcissist and get therapy. This has gotta be bait lol
>>
>>17663592
You don't want your heart broken too.

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Just got a warehouse job that pays well but entails working ten hours a day, six days a week. Can any current/former warehousebros here offer some protips for someone who's only ever worked retail?

I'm a relatively /fit/ 22 year-old with 12 years of wrestling experience, two of which were at a division II college, so being physically worn down isn't scary to me. But how do I mitigate/cope with the mental drain of working 10-hour days and 60-hour weeks when all I've ever worked part-time retail?
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I used to cook 100 hours a week for 4 months at a time with no days off- that's 14 hours a day every single day for 4 months at a time with two 20-minute breaks. 10 hour days really aren't terrible. You have plenty of time to sleep, and minus 8 hours of sleep you're still left with six hours of free time, and a full day off. It's really not terrible. How to deal with it? Just do it, and don't complain internally or otherwise. Or, don't do it.
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>>17663565
>10 hour days really aren't terrible.

it is pretty bad for 6 days a week. I wouldn't work 6 days a week even for 8 hour shifts if there was an alternative.

I do 12 hour shifts but only work 4 days a week so I get three full days off.

>But how do I mitigate/cope with the mental drain

Sleep well and get yourself some really good tasty food for evenings and lunch breaks. You need to reward yourself with little treats....
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>>17663554
Never again it's a trap get out if you want a future outside that job get out trust me.

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>Be me programming for 1- 2 years now PHP, Js, web programming
>Struggle /w problem for a while now
> have done some small and simple projects, but never got my head around frameworks /Wordpress
>Every time I try to create a bigger project like a for example a planning system /w login I find myself failing
>Writing a simple base, start to get some stuff working, but that
>Than I find myself...
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>>17663537
Bump YEA
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>>17663537
bump again, is this the right /tread??
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>>17663537
Maybe you should write flowchart before you start writing the actual code
I ussualy do it when I encounter a problem and it helps, also if you (generally speaking) have some programming problems
you could buy yourself an arduino board. I know it sounds stupid but if you play with it you for some time you will find programming easier

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Why do girls make me feel so beta? I lived a full life for my 24 years, I met a lot of people, I've beet at tables with politicians and went from literal homeless to that, I lived in many countries and I generally have a good life.

But for some reason girls intimidate me. I can talk easily with anyone but once it comes to relationship stuff, I go regard mode.
I also recently broke up with my ex and I'm feeling worse than ever, like I have no game. I don't have many girl friends and the ones I do are already taken/happily single. I feel good around girls and talking to girls but otherwise I'm shit at this game.

How do I improve? I have hobbies and I lift. My confidence is through the roof.
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>>17663494
Girls don't make you feel beta. You are a beta and when you try to interact, you are forced to face it.

Most guys, especially introverts, have trouble talking with women at first. Betas stay that way forever but alphas never take it sitting down.

I can't tell you how many times I failed or made embarassing dumb mistakes. None of it ever stopped me because I knew it was all inconsequential bullshit that was just standing in my way.

You either have the drive to improve and accept nothing...
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Ragged Dick?
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>>17663534
not that guy, but what would be some ways to improve?

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I'm just going to greentext so I can get through this.
>graduate with math
>no job because no cs and live in a shitty area with no jobs that also manages to be super expensive
>decide to move to Washington to get a job while taking more classes
>can't move without money so working at Amazon (only place that was hiring people without 40 years experience)
>I just need to get through these next few months while my...
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Similar situation here.

>Getting back into reading
>Studying another language
>blowing money on car parts and regretting it
>>
you get more skilled so you can make more money and not worry about that shit.
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>>17663532
Well i need to get through these next few months before I can do that. I just need something that will numb the pain of working 5am to 4:30pm

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When do you keep trying, and when do you leave?

He is so guarded... I have to move mountains anytime I want him to let me in.

I tell him I need him to listen, he tells me I'm impossible to satisfy.

I tell him I'm suffering, he tells me its all in my head.

I know he loves me because he has cried on my shoulder...once. But I've been crying for a year.

I don't want to leave because I know that if we keep going, eventually we can solve our problems... I just know that until that happens I am going to remain depressed.

He's...
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Jesus Christ, your really not gonna like my answer but you are being very over dramatic. You need to stop wallowing in self pity and learn to live your life. If you love your boyfriend and you'll think you guys can work stuff out and be together then do just that, if it's okay to question it, everybody does that at some point in a relationship. Only you can decide if being with him is worth it, your the one who knows him and yourself best.
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>>17663509
You have no appreciation for stylistic writing.

OP, I think it's time to leave the relationship. It's never a good idea to wait around for someone to change. Either accept that this is who he is -guarded, unempathetic, stoic, and uncaring (he may care but if he doesnt show it he might as well not)- or leave. Either be okay with him in his current form, or decide you're not, and find someone who meets your needs. Don't force a broomstick into a coke can, as it were. You'll be eternally unhappy.
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>>17663473
>I tell him I need him to listen, he tells me I'm impossible to satisfy.
>I tell him I'm suffering, he tells me its all in my head.
You're a good person for trying but if he can't do these things, you'll never be happy.

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So, in my autismal quest to become attractive to women, I've finally realized truthfully (not accepted yet) that I am ugly. There's no way around that. I'm ugly.

The way I see it, I must simply become confident. How do I achieve that? Are there other ways?

inb4 post picture
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FAP at a mirror man you will eventually end taking more meds and dating homeless nigs.

Pope Francis APPPPPRRRRRRRUUUUVVED
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please respond
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>>17663694

Get into public speaking.
Read any book out there on public speaking.
Join toastmasters or Carnegie course.
Or take a job in selling.

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Have you ever hit rock bottom?

What kind of situation did you have and how did you get out?

>27
>Pathetically overweight but not morbidly obese
>Lost my job and nobody is giving me a break after hundreds of applications
>No money
>Fiancé left me after 5 years together
>Kicked out and lost most of my belongings
>Car battery is completely dead

I...
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>>17663392
>Have you ever hit rock bottom?

kinda although my situation was not quite as bad as yours.

>be 19
>fall in love with a women i was friends with for 2 years
>I quite uni so i can move in with her
>all my friends think i am crazy
>She cheats on me and betrays me after i burnt my bridges
>i...
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>>17663431
>kinda although my situation was not quite as bad as yours

I think the moment that you contemplate death as an escape counts as rock bottom.

Being cheated on by someone you care about and the resulting distrust you have for others is rough.

Glad to hear you are doing better and are not vindictive about your experience.
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I feel like I'm on my way there. I've suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for around 7 years now. This year things really went well, though. Got a gf for the first time and don't contemplate suicide every damn day.
I've come to realise however that if I lose my gf, or if I'd ever want to leave her - I would also lose so many friends and be all alone in my current city. If that doesn't kill me, then I don't know what. I'm also getting far more paranoid than usual so I'm considering going to a psychologist again.
Sorry...
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