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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 314. page
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My dream guy has very specific personality traits.

Is it hypothetically possible that my he will never love me?

I dig only guys (or people) who
>aren't afraid to be different
>have very specific manner of speech
>love to make people happy by laugh,
>for some reason they are always attention-seeking
>have specific independent interests and passion

Any other guys aren't as smooth to talk...
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Assuming you're not completely anal about what you find in a partner, it'll probably work like this.

>You have specific traits that you find attractive
>You judge potential partners by these attractive traits
>You'll find somebody who ticks most but probably not all of these boxes
>You'll get to know them, have a blast with them
>After a while you'll realize you're okay with them not ticking...
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>>
I'm fucking insane. Enjoy!
>>
>>17638075
These four traits are so crucial, i don't feel anything to a guy which lacks even one.
Literally.
What if none of the guys who fit to my tastes will be interested in me? Can it be psychologically possible?

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6 years ago I had a (1 year) relationship with my best friend since I was little. We broke up because he cheated on me and a month later he was dating another girl. I was devastated because I thought we were best friends, but with with the time i realized we didn't really were. A lot has happened since then, he moved far far away, he got multiples girlfriends, I dated some guys, but never been a relationship until now (I have been with my actual boyfriend for almost a year, and I don't feel I am in love with him, but I do love him). My ex got married this year with...
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>>17638064
you are in to abandoning men, usual suspects are alcoholic dad or dad not around. You find their aloofness attractive. Basic formula: trauma in childhood = attraction as an adult.
Your current bf is a great guy, you know how I know? because you aren't attracted to him because he's not abandoning.
Try some therapy for the abandonment issues, a good place to start if alchoholism is involved is ALANON
>>
Maybe you need some closure from your old ex.
>>
>>17638074
Op here

My dad is a great man, I don't think I have a childhood trauma related to that. What else could it be?

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How do I stop my close friend from being super edgy and what's wrong with him?

A little background: I met him at an "alternative" school senior year for people with issues like anxiety, depression, and high functioning autism all the way to Tourette's and anger management. I have some funny stories but anyways I met my close friend there and we quickly became friends. He was an oddity because he wore the same suit every day to school. Anyways as I get to know him he starts telling me that he's a sociopath and doesn't have feelings, and has...
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>>17638029
sounds like a possible scitzo as well.
The only thing you can do and I mean ONLY thing is to convince him to go to a therapist and do the work, if he refuses than stop hanging around. That's all you can do.
>>
Yep sounds like a weirdo. Try to have an honest conversation with him, about what you just said. See what happens.

Why were you at an alternative school?
>>
>>17638034
>>17638034
I go to a therapy school where he has his own therapist who doesn't visit him anymore because the therapist thinks he's fine.

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Anyone ever get really bad back pain from sex??

I'm wondering if it's from sex or if I have arthritis bc I keep having really bad flare ups... But my bf is like 180 lbs and I'm 110 and soemrkems during sex he puts a lot of weight on me and during sex my back has hurts before so I'm just wondering if it's from sex or soemthing serious

I'm making a dr appt tomorrow so no worries about that I'm just wondering cuz I'm panicking a little
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If that's the most physical thing you do...then yeah, probably
>>
>>17638038
It's not I exercise. It's not a soreness like from exercise its a soreness like it hurts really bad I pulled a muscle badly or had a really bad injury
>>
>>17638067
go to the doctor, see what they say,
talk to your partner and tell him it hurts and switch up positions. might just be awkward or shitty mattress. It should work itself out it this is the issue.
thirdly, and this is not as common but if its very lower back in your pelvic region and ONLY right after or during sex than that is a red flag for some type of sexual abuse trauma in your past. If this is the case than have your doctor refer you to a therapist, most women who have been abused have this and very similar...
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This girl I'm really interested in has told me she is polyamorous and its very new to me

I am coming from a pretty much exclusive relationship type of past, so I'm wondering how to deal

Do I try to work into it? Or do I drop her?
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>>17637994
this is a damaged woman. RUN anon. whatever her past is she is running around trying to fuck it away because she values herself on having men wanting to bang her. This is completely backwards from female biology and something major had to fuck that up
>>
>>17637994
Don't walk. Run.
>>
Ok, what does polyamory even mean? That she's a slut :)?

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Can't people just say "I'm not interested in being friends"?

here's my story:

>see this girl at the train ride home from work every day
>think she's pretty cute, but I'm too autistic to initiate
>finally get the courage to approach and talk to her
>ask her questions about her life...work, family, life etc...
>smiles and laughs
>this happens on-off...
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>>17637946
nah don't change your schedule.

It's hard to say "I don't want to be your friend" because it's very confrontational. Girls would much prefer the conversation to fizzle out and to never be talked to again (what happened to you).

Don't worry about it man. You took a great first step by initiating conversation. Keep at it and eventually you will find someone happy to reciprocate.
>>
>>17637946
Sounds like you havin problems with socializin but this can be easily fixed u just gotta know how to talk good and get who u are and u gotta get who other people's is too
Talk to her at a point where your the one talking but she's able to actually respond don't just think about you talking think about the both of you talking so you can start a good conversation and get to know eachother
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>>17638299
Fuck that, leav'r alone.
She's made her position clear.
You don't keep bothering people if they want you to leave them alone.

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You're not looking to date, just something casual while you focus on your own shit. What are the red flags you look for in a guy? Are they different than when you vet a potential boyfriend?
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>>17637832
girls just say they wan't to be fuck buddies because they assume that men are like women in that sex will eventually equal intimacy. If she is your "fuck buddy" than she is in to you and hoping you will eventually want a relationship.
Either that or she is just a slut with huge issues and you shouldn't have to worry, if you are attractive and confident she will bang you
>>
>>17637932
That's not what I asked
>>
>>17637935
your question is based off of a faulty premise. The only one they can answer is the one about them finding red flags in potential bf's

Alright, I'm pretty lackluster in handy skills; but I managed to put this desk together!

...Everything seems fine, it's slightly wobbly but still solid.

This came in the box...and I have no idea what they're for.
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pic of the desk
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>>17637826
They might be spacers. They go in between two other pieces, to stop the wobbling.
>>
>>17637826
Nice desk! Isn't there any paper with directions on how to build the desk and where each part goes?

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Why is it so difficult to find single women, /adv/?
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>>17637818
Its not. You're just not that attractive so it's difficult for you.
>>
>>17637841
As harsh as that is there is element of truth to it.

Its difficult because of your own personal failures, what ever they maybe.
>>
>>17637818
Because we're going down the behavioral sink and destroying humanity.

I say this as someone in a loving long term relationship.

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I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but fuck it, I need to get it off my chest.

>Go to secondary school (high school for muricans)
>by the end of it I'm an emotional wreck, was barely able to finish my exams
>In the break between school and college I feel different, in a way I can't explain
>Start to push my friends away, acting really impulsive and aggressive
>Lose all motivation and...
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>>17637794
you mean youre taking a gap year? its not very clear
>>
>>17637926
No, I'm still in college
>>
Meditate. Go volunteer. What about the world around you is falling apart? How can you fix it? Really, how can you fix it? What can you do today? Nothing? Try again. Life is iterative. Small changes build to something larger. It might seem like a drop in a bucket, but eventually the bucket will be full. Start moving in the direction that you see the biggest problem. Conquer it. Make it your mission not to let it happen.

Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

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I feel like my gf is losing interest in me and lately I've been having trouble just talking to her. Don't want to end it yet, what do?
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>>17637788
need more info,
how long you been together,
how old are both of you.
are you having sex, if yes how often, if not how often are you intimate physically ?
>>
>>17637796
>About 6-7 months
>Both 19
>Yes, probably like once a week, just guessing

I don't want to be cucked but it might be a possibility.
>>
>>17637796
We've been sort of distant the past couple weeks

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Guys I think I have PTSD from school.
I know that sounds like some whiny SJW bullshit but hear me out:

I go to a notoriously brutal art school, workload wise. Without exaggerating, the average term ranges from 60-80hrs worth of shit to do per week, last term being one of those particularly traumatic 80 hour per week terms. It was so fucking nasty that it almost cost me my marriage this time around and cause some resurfacing of the eating disorder I've been fighting with for nine years.

I have no intention of quitting, but right now, as I sit here during...
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>resurfacing of the eating disorder I've been fighting with for nine years.
Eat yellow paint then post pics on /b/.
>2 week break
Go out of the damn city if you didn't yet. If you keep sitting there and cringing over what's overcoming you, you'll get drilled into the same situation.
>>
As someone who works as a freelance artist, you need to take a break from art. You've been doing enough of it. It's time to do something else, for your own sanity. Relax, life your life. Enjoy yourself. This is your time to recharge your batteries. You'll be doing plenty of work later. For now, you need to focus on your physical and mental health.
>>
Why are you even on 4chan still?

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How do I get perfect taste to please everyone? I don't want to be annoyed by people's shitty complaints about my hobbies
>tv
>vidya
>internet videos
Etc
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>>17637652
Bump
>>
>>17637652
Bump
>>
>>17637652
Bump

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I get that you gotta have a life, go to clubs, class, be on campus, dress nice bathe often have good hair act cool towards people all that. But is that it? Am I missing something? Because I don't wanna wait around for an unknown amount of time, I want a girlfriend and I feel like theres gotta be more that I can do
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>>17637642
I really want one before the end of the semester
>>
actually, you don't really need any of those things, although they will all increase your chances

the basic formula is: be attractive, interact with lots of people, express interest when an opportunity arises. Find ways to increase your value, increase the amount of women you meet, and your skill at interacting with people and it'll fall into your lap eventually.
>>
>>17637696
For me Im hesitant to show too much interest in a girl or even a guy (not gay I mean to be friends) it seems like any time I ever put any real effort any time I really push for anything it always back fires but when I just sort of passively act nice it slowly draws people in. There are some QTS I've run into and there's this one at dodgeball club who is nice to me, gives me tips on the game, remembers my name, and we chilled on the bleachers and talked and shit, I dunno if it means anything but she gave...
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The girl I am seeing likes adrenaline. What activities can I do? I live in Vegas and we are both under 21. I don't care what it is, throw it at me.
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>>17637628
Skydiving.
>>
Methamphetamine. No I'm not joking.
>>
>>17637666
Nice satan trips

Vegas? Each of you could drop a months pay on one hand of black jack. That'll get the blood pumping

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I think I am in love with a girl in a wheelchair. We have gone out one time and while I admit it is a big hurdle to get over, I think it is worth it. We have tons of same interests and everything.
The thing is that nobody I know approves of this. Either people think I am taking advantage of her, which is ridiculous. Or that I "don't know what I am getting into". This girl is perfect for me and I've never met a female I have this much in common with. She is paralyzed from the waist down and requires assistance getting in and out of her chair. May seem kinda...
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>>17637617

>Wat do?
>I think I am in love with a girl in a wheelchair
>I think it is worth it


It sounds like you already have your answer.
>>
>The thing is that nobody I know approves of this.
Do you only date everyone you know approves of or something? Do you do anything without consulting them all first?
>>
>>17637620

So I should risk my whole family hating me and her for it?

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Alright I have to be honest with everyone and I don't know where else to get this one out. I'm not even going to ask "is this weird" because I know it fuckong is. Alright, so here is it - I have the gigantic urge to finger a seagull. I know what the fuck right. No, I am not a furfag, and no I am not disabled in any way. I just feel the need to shove my pointer finger in a seagull's ass. Alright so now that I got that out, what should I do? I mean I know I shouldn't do it but I just want to see what would happen if i did that. Just so you know I...
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If you really need some release, then you should try and make your own seagull-fingering VR application. Meanwhile a fake seagull cloaca may be feasible in the same way some men make fake vaginas with two sponges and a latex glove.
>>
>>17637776
To be more clear, I'm suggesting solutions that don't involve fingering an actual seagull, since molesting animals is illegal in many States.
>>
>>17637615
this is a fun one...
does this idea sexually excite you?

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In my short story writing class, there is a girl I find to be a 10/10 and very intelligent. I know she's caught me checking her out (straight up eye-fucking her) at least twice. We had to trade short stories with each other randomly for criticism. The next day after class, I was talking with friends and out of the blue she approached me and told me she was amazed with my story and thankful to get to read it. She seemed truly impressed. I never get complimented so I didn't know what to do. She just stood there smiling until I asked for her email.

What can I do...
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>asked for her email
??????? the fuck are you doing?? nobody uses email for communicating outside of the business world?
>>
>>17637630
I know. Who fucking uses email for communication between friends or SO's?

It's all Text, FB, or Phone.


I even asked my Crush out, and she straight up took my phone and punched in her number....
>>
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>>17637602
Fucking email? What are you gonna do? Send her chain letters, and coupons? Get her number you autist. Email he says, this guy.

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I'm going thru a dry spell and wanna get laid. Is backpage legit for getting a hooker or will I most likely get robbed/killed/arrested?
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>>17637600
Pick a wealthy/liberal area on backpage. Even if you have to drive an hour and rent a hotel room

Luckily I live in the most liberal college town in the state and I can pick them up and after one visit I allow them to come to my house.

>don't get arrested
Police are allowed to lie, but it is illegal for them to expose themselves so before you talk to her about money asked to see her pussy/titties. If they show them they are not a cop. This is a federal law and applies...
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bump for purely scientific purposes
>>
>>17637600
I've been considering this for a while. Especially since I live in Hawaii so most of the girls are asian. I don't think I'll hook up with one otherwise.

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24 years old, fat, shy, 2 friends, never touched a girl. I make minimum wage and live with my mom. I used to drive but gave it up after several accidents.

Obviously no girl wants me right now.
My only real goal in life was always to be a dad. I want to be that family man playing frisbee with the kids and chaperoning school trips all that jazz.

I look at all the middle aged men I've ever met and everyone's miserable or divorced. Sure notallwomen treat their husbands like shit but the 10% that would be decent wives want someone who's 100 times the...
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Besides even if my future self did have a great career and money and a sexy body, still no one would want me because I'd be a wizard so why try
>>
Too late? Dude you're 24. I'm 32. To be honest my life did not get good until I was 29.

Basically, I was more or less you, minus living with mom part. I decided shit is enough. Started running/bar training/gym and all that jazz. Basically any physical stain my body could take. Started eating like a normal human. A lot of really small portions per day. Healthy shit. Was disgusting, but made me feel good. had nothing to lose.

I did not see any results for almost a year while doing this. However, suddenly, a month after it started hitting. Lost 10 kilograms...
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Okay, give up. This doesn't affect anyone but you. Why do we give a fuck?

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Can suicide ever be some sort of solution? Or is it per definition stupid and weak?
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>>17637539
If your car wasn't working correctly, and I threw it off of a bridge, destroying it, would you say I have fixed the problem of it not working correctly? By definition, it is running away/ignoring/negating a problem instead of fixing it. In that way, you could call it weak.
>>
Only if you have a terminal illness or otherwise are going to die anyway. If it's just because "wahh life is hard" then it's just plain cowardice.
>>
>>17637539
it can only be a solution in major circumstances. Like if I knew I was going to prison for over 35 years i'd kill myself. If my kids were killed etc

every case is different its near impossible to give a 100% legit answer on if a specific case is stupid or weak. probably not stupid. weak sometimes but not stupid.

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Is crime fun?
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Sometimes
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>>17637534
Crime? Yes. Time? No.
>>
>>17637534
yes. however prison isn't and crime led me there. however you get away with most of it so go all out OP, YOLO

Do you ever pounce on girls who are 'trapped' in a relationship.

Why does it seem that they are the only girls I can ever have 'fun, genuine and stimulating' conversation with?

I know I'm damaged as fuck, but every other girl seems boring to me even if she's like a 9/10.

Why do I always go for damaged girls?
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Be like Mario n rescue your princess from king koopa
>>
>>17637564
Bruh, for real.

How do I fix this shit?
>>
>>17637567
Tell her how you feel and see if she's willing to explore a relationship
Or
Catch her boyfriend cheating and tell her.

Whats up
>Me 15-16 years old
>Faps almost everyday
>Making out with girl when drunk
>I realize i cant get boner no matter what so it ends with just kissing
>18y/o me , gets girlfriend, about to fuck and lose my erection while fucking, what a letdown
>We broke up some weeks later now we back together
>She left to another country for few months about 2weeks...
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>>17637531
Stop fapping. Don't look at porn.
Trust me - try it at least for two weeks, and you should already see a difference.
If you don't , your right hand will (hopefully) still be there for you.
>>
Whtever you do, don't watch porn just to try to test if u can get an erection or not, it's counter productive
>>
>>17637531
A few options:
>Your heart denies the girl
That's a conscience thing. If you really wanted to get along, you'd give it everything to "make her yours". In the deep down you don't want kids, and fear or regret about that idea. If you don't want your heart to get in your way then keep the foreplay long; cuddle, snuggle, spoon, start with oral sex favors then get on the real job. That's a challenge for the girl, just offer her the thing, if she really...
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>Looks like shit
>Retard
>Doesn't Give a fuck at all about anything
>Gets to bang the girl first episode

>Looks like Chad
>Nice, sweet guy
>Comes up to meet her 1st but watches as they bang

Does personality mater more than looks when trying to bang chicks?
I used to only focus on my looks but was a shut-it, now as I open up more and...
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>>17637491
I'll take "Overestimating yourself" for 1000, Alex.
>>
skins is not really something to take as a parameter, this is basically me and my best friend, he being Cook of course
>>
Why in the world would you think Skins is anything like the real world? Also
>implying Effy is girlfriend material

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I'm tired of being the "nice guy". How do i be an asshole without really hurting her feelings?
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it's really not an issue of "nice guy" vs "asshole," it's an issue of "doormat" vs "confident."
women are naturally attracted to that shit, but that doesn't also mean you HAVE to be an ass to make it work
trying to improve your self-esteem and confidence is hard, but it's probably the best solution here
>>
>>17637489
couple of easy tips:
you pick EVERYTHING, where you go where you eat what you watch on TV, don't EVER EVER ask what she once to do, have a plan beforehand and tell her what is going to happen! chicks hate indecisiveness/lack of confidence.
Make you want your attention, not her tired of getting yours. when your just chilling, pick up a guitar or some hobby and block everything she does out. she will send you tons of subtle cues that she wants your attention now, don't give it to her. Chicks love/hate this game, they like competing with other women and your hobbies, she will start asserting herself sexually if necessary.
One more for ya anon: hang out with her friends and act completely interested in what they have to say and subtly dismiss everything she says. Like I said chicks are naturally competitive and she won't be able to resist the urge to possibly jerk you off under the table right then and their just to make her the center of your attention.

These are just a few things! work on them anon and goodluck, you'll be surprised how quickly this will translate in to her smothering you and being almost overly affectionate and more sexual.
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>>17637489
Don't be an asshole, women don't like assholes. Just be confident, and have things/people in your life that you care about more than you care about getting laid. Niceness isn't unattractive; passivity and desperation are unattractive.

This guy >>17637543 PARTIALLY gets it, but he's still basically telling you to fake it. He's telling you how you can PRETEND to be the kind of guy that has passions and interests and shit going on in his...
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Why does no one reply to any of my threads? Every time I make a thread no one replies I need help /adv/.
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Because your pic is irrelevant and not amusing or sexy and because your question is vague to the point of incoherence
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Well this right here is a shitty thread. What am I supposed to say to you? I don't know who you are or what your other threads are like. If you want advice, you actually have to give enough details/backstory so that we know what the fuck you're talking about. this ain't your Facebook page, we don't know you
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>>17637496
>>17637497
why are you guys so rude?

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Freshman in college juggling maximum number of classes, so far I have pretty good grades but lately I haven't been able to concentrate due to personal reasons. Is there a way I can push out my emotions as edgy as that sounds and focus on my work. Currently thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend of one year since he doesn't seem like the same person I fell in love with; there are big tests one after another; I feel like I'm driving all my friends away with my need to share my sadness. Sometimes I wonder if I have ADHD. Any help?
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bump
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Talk to an on-campus counsellor about your issues with concentration.

Sometimes, you just need to turn everything off. No phone, no internet, no tv so that you can devote 100% of your mental cycles to the task at hand.

If you feel your boyfriend is a distraction to your education and you prioritise your education over your relationship, you might need to take a break while you finish school.
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As for boyfriend, I'm very insecure that people don't like me, also I require lot's of attention but also give lots in return. He just started work so he no longer really talks to me and feels that theres 'nothing to talk about' anymore since I don't understand his work life (he just graduated college and became a 12 hour salary man) But the break idea sounds good, except I don't know how to ask him without him getting upset... I don't want to break up because I doubt I'll get another person that I can love for years after... Any...
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Is it wrong to wanna fuck your friends wife? I fap to her Instagram pics daily and I even went as far as stealing a pair of panties from her. I think I have a problem.
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>fap to her Instagram pics
>I think I have a problem

Yeah, you have a problem. Fantasizing is OK. But this is not really OK.
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>>17637455

>attracted to her

nbd

>fap to her Instagram pics

a bit creepy but not outside the realm of stuff people do

>steal her panties

you're a fucking psycho
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>>17637455
Naw it's fine, OP. I wanted to fuck the shit out of my friends (ex) wife. Her tits were fucking awesome and one time her top fell off while she was sunbathing and I got a good view for a few minutes. Needless to say I busted a huge nut that night thinking of those tig ol bitties.

Anyone into pipe smoking?

I've never been a regular smoker and I don't really like cigarettes (definitely don't want to get addicted) but lighting a pipe once a week while sitting down for an hour or so immersed in thought sounds awesome. I guess I like the ritual aspect of it.

Thoughts? Does it worth a try?
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only if it has weed on it ;)
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>>17637401
mixing tobacco and weed in a bong will fuck you up. so thats nice
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I prefer cigars. Pipes are hard to keep lit until you have a lot of experience.


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