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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 316. page
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Hi,

I am 25 years old, in college and have a girlfriend.

Thing is, I have horrible confidence and self esteem.

My main problem is, that I value myself as high as I think other people (especially women) value me. I have many great friends but am constantly in need of female validation in one way or the other (i dont cheat on my gf).

I am already in therapy but maybe it would help if I tried to approach women, fail miserably and someday get a good reaction to get rid of this neediness in validation?

I am rather overweight (ever was) but...
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>>17636392
Do you like how you look? I kinda the same as you OP, have alot of female best friends which i like to keep around me as a "compliment harem" of sorts (yeah i know how that sounds, but i have no other idea how to describe it...). Iam also always super flirty with them, even when iam in a relationship (wouldn't fuck them though). I just think or maybe believe that i look great. That helps me alot with my self esteem.
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>>17636392
>Girlfriend
>No self esteem or confidence
Fuck off, please.
>>
>>17636392

You strengthen it by doing something you love doing and doing it properly. Being passionate about it and succeeding. Thats what gives you an ego.

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Can somebody with an average or ugly face ever become attractive?
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>>17636343
If it's not the result of fatness, probably not, usually never hurts to get /fit/ though.
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>>17636356
So what can I do to get a girlfriend, short of lowering my standards to dating 1s and 2s? I'm about a 5.
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>>17636395
Talk to girls.

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I will try to make this as short as possible.

So i'm currently 19 years old and want to become successful in life.
Success for me is earning lots of money and living a happy life with my future wife that will love me, and i will love her.

My main question is, how do i get to this point?


Also another question, are playing games for entertainment fucking retarded? Right now i want to begin playing Starcraft II and i will obviously not get pro in that game. Should i start playing it because it might be fun or should i just don't bother wasting...
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please, anyone?
>>
do you have a job or are in college or something?
>>
>>17636659
I'm currently working in my first job.

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Some years ago, I was inlove with a girl who was older than me. We used to hang out, at the beginning she looked like she was interested in me. But after some time, she started talking about other guys, so I told her that I liked her, and that I was too young for her. We stopped talking, I was disappointed.


Today I saw her with her new boyfriend. He looks like me. He is actually younger than me. I started to wonder, how did I fuck up? Why did she reject me, but she accepted this guy who is almost myself 2.0? What did I do wrong? Is there something wrong about me?...
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You are blind. That guy is not you, but far better and more attractive every way.
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>>17636328
>Today I saw her with her new boyfriend. He looks like me. He is actually younger than me. I started to wonder, how did I fuck up? Why did she reject me, but she accepted this guy who is almost myself 2.0?

Do you even know he is like you or are you just assuming being of roughly your age and ethnicity means he is the same as you?
>>
>>17636332
I think that he is more attractive than me too. But most other people say we are almost the same. Who am I supposed to believe? Anyways, he isn't really much better.

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>have pseudo-relationship with girl for a couple of months last semester of college
>we clearly like each other hangout every day
>semester ends we go are separate ways stay in touch but clear that she is losing interest
>say fuck it and start looking for someone to fuck
>find girl and fuck but still miss original girl
>go back to school eager to hang out with her
>she...
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BUMP faggot
>>
Pls respond
>>
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>help a girl is toying with me
>help I'm too dumb to ignore a girl toying with me
>help, i like to play games with a girl who likes to play games, BUT SHE IS WINNING D:
>help, i just want to find out how i can beat this girl at her own game
>help, im too dumb to move on and save mine AND this girls time

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>meet girl
>we fuck
>basically become a couple for 10 days, amazing times together
>move apart
>constant talking/flirting on snapchat
>visit
>she wont be physical with me, not even hand holding
>get high and react very sadly when she says she wants to get to know me better before relationship
>trip...
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Also worth mentioning we both just started college 2 weeks ago and live three hours apart, portland and seattle. Her ex goes to the same school and lives on the same floor in her dorm. Is there hope?
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>>17636731
>becomes distant after going to college
>her ex goes to the same school and lives on the same floor in her dorm
really makes you think
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>>17636748
Fuuuuuck I know man I know but I dont want to admit it

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ok

today, one of my colleagues did something i didn't really digest, he's the classic extroverted/exaggerator guy but also kinda shady at times (like this time)

usually we go along pretty good at work and this time i think i spotted some signs of him feeling guilty about this (serious, tried to small talk with me often)

well if this is the case, i really wanna make him soooo much uncomfortable to work with me

ideas?
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>>17636228

Do that bad thing. The REALLY bad thing. You know what I mean.
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>>17636241
he don't deserve anything major

i just wanna get the most of his sense of guilt when with me
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>>17636228
Nobody has any idea what you're talking about.

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>girl in college was a oneitis
>fucked your friends and accepted their cum on her face
>except yours
>years later she has become immensely successful in a lucrative career
>now she's better than you AND you were never ever ever on her radar
>drowning in envy and beta-longing

Why live?
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Get. Over. It. Cunt.
>>
Yeah, what the other guy said. Stop dwelling on stupid shit and keep moving forward.
>>
So because she makes more money, she's a better person than you? Maybe examine that thought, and try to see why you think that way...

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Senior in college right now with no clue what I'm going to do with my life.

I have a piece of shit biochemistry degree because parents convinced me to go into health. I have a 3.8 GPA and 500 hours of research and 50 hours of doctor shadowing. If I were to do it all over again, I would do comp sci 100%.

In my situation right now, I can apply to pharmacy school this year (even though I will be late for cycles). I have a 3.8 GPA, 99th percentile on the PCAT, and over 500 hours of research. Basically a shoe in to pharmacy as long as there are spots left. If I...
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>>17636177
is the year off to study for the mcat?
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>>17636177
Do you go to Auburn? Just wondering.
>>
Having second thoughts is natural. But take it from an Oldfag: Stay the Course.

Might Comp Sci have been easier? Absolutly - but put in the effort to finish something you started and have done so well at. Even if you dont end up in a job utilizing your degree, the fact you finished strong will pay huge dividends in life.

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How do I be a good boyfriend? I've had a few relationships and I wasn't the best. Now I'm with a girl I really do like and care about, and I don't want to fuck this up. What do I do?
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Keep making time to show you appreciate her. Do cutsy shit to show you are thinking about her etc. If she is a good one, she will do the same in return.
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>>17636178
What is cutsy shit?
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>>17636183

For example, suprise her with her favorite coffee drink or candy without being asked. If the opportunity arises, show that you have her back 100%.

If you live together, suprise her when she gets home with dinner ready...plan out a 'date night.' Girls eat that shit up.

I'm currently working as a packer at a dead end job in a supply company, and I'm currently looking for other jobs where i can earn more money cause i'm making less than minimum wage right now. My question is how do you handle telling your boss you want to quit your job? Do i tell them i'm leaving for health reasons? Or I want more pay? I'm quitting because its hard work lifting and packing stuff for little pay, and all these long hours have taken there toll on my back and my feet. I might have to get surgery eventually for all the pressure standing for...
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>>17636163
Find a new job first and put in your 2 weeks notice. Easier to find a job when you have a job. Tell your boss you are leaving for more pay and better working conditions.

>cause i'm making less than minimum wage right now.

Give this info to the DOL after you leave for the lulz.
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>>17636163
How in the fuck do you end up working for less than minimum wage?
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>>17636201

I didnt choose this work myself, it was found for me by a work bureau, and I get payed less than minimum wage cause my pay is partly welfare, and my boss is taking advantage of that. I work part time three days a week, but if i work full time, my pay will just stay the same as it is now.

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/Adv/ how can i quit internalizing all of my anxieties and past traumas? Im 23 and ive basically done nothing with my life. I'm uncomfortable talking to my parents, the pain of my past and the uncertainty of the future has me scared stiff. My body is so sickly and I don't sleep well at all. Any wrong ever done to me, no matter how small, I remember clearly. Even though I'm not alone at all I feel so alone and miserable. I'm nearing wits end.
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do something with your life. or rather do some things with your life.

you're only 23. draw a comic. write a book. or an audio play. or make a video game. or build furinture. learn how to animate. do whatever you feel like. just see a project through. start it small. like if you do a comic, try to just do one self contained story across twenty pages. then expand that in to 4 issues. then if you still got it in you, try to do 12 issues for a year's worth of 'content'.

trust me when i say you are not even close to your wits end. you are at your...
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>>17636147

To get out of your head, get out. Physically helps, as you can distance whatever it is that happens at home from your activities, but putting your thoughts and feeling out in an artistic manner can help too, as Anon said here >>17636259.
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>>17636259
>>17636284
Im terrible at art though. If i was as good at artwork as i am at video games it wouldnt be a problem but here i am

>Had GF through junior/senior year of HS
>Was a bit more academically driven than her
>We applied to all the same schools except I applied to some higher ones
>I got into a decent public school
>She got into nothing but the safety school, a school so low I only applied there to make her happy
>she's heartbroken
>she begs me to go to the lower school with...
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Well if you're probably going to ignore it then what else do you want? Someone to tell you not to?
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>>17636146

That's a shit situation man. But you broke up, you don't talk. Send her a nice card if you feel obliged to do something; cards don't invite replies. If she does try to get in touch, just say that you don't think communication would be healthy for either of you.
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>>17636151
I'm just asking if you all feel that would be the best thing to do

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Alright, so my girlfriend told me she was raped a couple years ago, and she has a hard time being sexual or anything. Also because of this and a couple other things, she tends to push people away. How can I help her, and how can I keep from being pushed away?
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Rape her
>>
Gradually get her to associate sex with tenderness, passion and love again, rather than aggression and loss of control.
>>
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>>17636077

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>my girlfriend posts pictures of herself on instagram

Why would a non-retarded guy stay with a girl that does this?

It's a red flag and 99% of the time she's doing it for male attention.
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Almost every girl I know posts selfies on instagram, if it is a redflag for you, just be glad someone like you got laid.
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>>17636050
That's like 99% of the girls in my area.
>>
Are you sure she is your girlfriend and not a one-way crush?

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/adv/, do you know of any sex toys that offer much pleasure to the dick that are not technically an onahole/fleshlight, but something smaller and easy to wash and put away? Or something that vibrates and is convenient?

I've had 2 onaholes in my life but the problem that I found is that they are hard to clean and each cleaning process reduces the effectiveness of the onahole and eventually loses potency.
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>>17636034
Your left hand - convenient, portable, innocent looking and easy to wash
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>>17636156
Nice try but seriously though, what is out there that I can use that is not my hand?
>>
Tenga 3d.

They look inocuous as fuck, feel amazing with lube.

I've got 2, don't even bother to hide them. Girlfriend has never even asked what they are or noticed them.

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Anyone here ever told someone you loved them and not had it reciprocated? Or maybe the other way round? How did it make you feel, and how did you handle it afterwards?

I'm this close to asking my male best friend if he loves me regardless of the repercussions (I'm also a guy, but I know 100% that he's Bi and am approximately 50% sure he has feelings for me too), I'm just scared that if I don't get the answer I'm looking for I might fall apart.

The answer will likely inform a lot of my life goals for the near future though so I think...
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Telling someone you love them and them not reciprocating (if you really do love them) is easily one of the most tormenting mental pains I have ever experienced so be careful.
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>>17636029
Why don't you test the waters before going full "anime love confession" way?
Just get closer physically, and see how it goes.
>>
>>17636029

everyones done it. not in the gay way, but we've all been there. i wish you luck.

that being said, if you're going to 'fall apart' over an imaginary relationship not coming to fruition, then you're not ready for a relationship. either stop being dramatic, or go find yourself first.

but if hes bi and you're gay and you're long term friends ad netiher of you are particularly ugly, chances are he at least has some sexual tension with you.



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>29
>no actual friends
>never had a girlfriend
>would still be a virgin if not for hookers
>self-employed and able to work from anywhere over the internet
>making good money but I absolutely hate the "career" I've chosen
>honestly don't know what else I'm even good at or want to do for a living
>have...
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How do I become you? I want to work from anywhere over the internet.
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>>17636027
>>self-employed and able to work from anywhere over the internet

Travel. Go somewhere new.

>making good money but I absolutely hate the "career" I've chosen

So work fewer hours and start doing something else?
>>
>>17636031
I don't know, I just kind of fell into it. I had some interest in programming since like high school and learned it fairly well on my own, at least well enough to be able to get jobs as a web and app developer. But once I actually started doing it for a living, I realized just how boring programming really is and I pretty much fucking hate it now. I just do it now because it's the only thing I'm able to do to make a living.

You definitely don't really want to become me.



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Im a senior at a high school and there is this girl that I really like and would like to be in a relationship with, but I almost don't want to ask her out if its going to risk us not being friends anymore.

We have one class together, we sit next to each other. she is in to all the same stuff that I am and thats partly why I'm afraid to ask her out because even though we aren't dating she is still a good friend. We have hung out a few times out of school. she recently had a date to homecoming but I don't think it was like a real date because she wanted...
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>>17636018

You're a senior in high school. Odds are, three years down the line from this, you won't even talk to her anymore as "friends." Ask her out while there's still time. I made the mistake of not doing this, and almost 10 years later I still regret it. Just do it.
>>
>>17636026
Thanks man, that makes a lot of sense.
>>
>>17636018
>I almost don't want to ask her out
Every

Fucking

Day

Look thisbid what you do. Become good friends, learn about her, and start to see how she thinks of you. That's how you start a successful relationship and why kvs are always stupefied that they can't just talk to a random bitch.

Any med fags here can give me some advice. My premature ejaculation problem is crazy. It takes me like a minute to get a boner and even less to cum. I've used creams sprays and pills and whatever.

Should I see a urologist or just kill myself?

Like what should I do? I'm 24 and missing out on a lot of fucking.
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That's alpha as fuck m8.
>>
kegels for men has helped many men with achieving harder erections and delaying ejaculation. It basically gives you more control over it
>>
>>17635991
Idk, I heard masturbating helps.
Definitely see a doc if it really is hella bad.
Or maybe flip it and just have like, 20 rounds of sex. then you cum like 20 times, and you have hella sex. Problem solved.

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Okay anons, before i start this, i want you to know i'm a horny teenager.
So, i recently got a girlfriend who i really love, but she's really hit me with a dilemma. She is super sweet and super kind but she acts really flirty around my friends and it pisses me off, i've spoken to her about it and she says that she would never cheat on me or do shit with them (i believe her 100%) but thats not the problem. Around me she is super sweet and innocent but around friends she is super flirtacious, i asked her why she isnt flirty with me and she told me that i'm...
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>>17635953
>What do i do?
well stay with her while look for another girl to fall in love with. Keep yourself open to new opportunities.
>>
>>17635953
What you call flirting she calls being friendly. Some people are naturally more expressive and open than others, but that means nothing about their feelings or fidelity.

look, either you trust her or you chain her to the bed and make her wear a burka outside.

I'd go with trusting her.
>>
>>17635974
this is a man or woman speaking ?

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Well holy shit it has been a while
How have you guys been?

What the fuck do I do?

I'm pretty much failing all my classes, I don't even know if i am even going to graduate High school

I really wanted to go to college, but I don't know anymore

I would just do Military but I fucking hate the outdoors and I live a super hot super humid place to make it worse and I seriously doubt they would let you change locations

Holy shit I just want to move the fuck out already my parents are fucking insane, I don't even fucking know...
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Go to a trade school.

Take solace that you're not a virgin.
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>>17635955
>Take solace that you're not a virgin.

Haha......yeah.....................
>>
>>17635924
The world will always need

plumbers
bus drivers
electricians
mailmen
construction workers
barbers
cops
truck drivers
government office clerks
garbage men
etc, etc, etc

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Do you ever find girls really attractive in real life, but then see their photos and find them less attractive because they don't look as good as in real life?

i'm pretty unphotogenic too, so I make sure to go with my IRL instinct rather than judging on photos.

also i've met some girls who look amazing in photos but it doesn't actually come out that well IRL.

maybe we can discuss this further
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(I should have said people not girls, I want to include all genders in this conversation)
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>>17635918
Holy fuck that's the same person ????
>>
>>17635923
yep, she has a pretty face to be fair

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Is flight simulation an autistic hobby that will ensure I always remain a virgin?
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>>17635912
nah my friend plays it, he's a pretty traditional guy.
>>
It probably just means you have some German Ancestry.
>>
>>17635967
The fact that I'm into flight simulation or the fact that I'm a 30 year old virgin?

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So I left my soul-sucking job so I could pursue more personal interests and go back to school.

I got a job as a bartender, but the company doesn't offer any health benefits.

I live in America where the healthcare system isn't exactly great from what I hear, but I do need some kind of coverage.

What options do I have exactly? Can I get Obamacare? How much would I expect to pay monthly, for reasonable coverage?

Any advice would help greatly. Thanks /adv/.
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>>17635879
Also, I live in Texas, I think that does change some things.
>>
>>17635879

American health care is the best in the world. It is also unbelievably expensive. People stick with jobs they hate just because they come with insurance.

This is exactly what obamacare is for. Look into it.
>>
>>17636019
Maybe I bought into the "healthcare sucks" meme.

Do you have any insight on how Obamacare works?

I have shit credit, I don't know if that will be a problem.

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Even if you are fit and can post abs in photos and shit?
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>>17635867

Try good old fashioned IRC and Alamak. There are fembots out there on IRC who are real, nice and will meet a nice robot for coffee and more.
>>
meh depends on where you are. small town tinder/ UK tinder isn't that great, but New York tinder is awesome (because girls actually use it to meet guys, rather than as a fun game/validation thing).

but going to group events/activities where you can make friends and talk to girls is always going to be better.
>>
>>17635867
Tinder is for when you are stranded in a foreign city with no friends and want to check out the quality of local girls
I used it when I was in Sydney and Paris

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Say that you were a college student that had a big crush on an international student that goes to the same college. Not some basic exotic-chasing, but a real genuine belief that you two would be great together based on somewhat circumstantial evidence (dress, mannerisms, behavior in groups).

Now say you had no classes together, no extracurriculars in common, never ran into one another at parties or social gatherings, don't know the student's major nor even if they can speak English.

How do you go about winning the heart of this international student?...
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>>17635844
>you go to the dining hall
>she's sitting alone
>you ask if it's okay if you sit with her
>talk to her
>ask for her number
>>
if you are going to the same dining hall / uni places as her just try and casually get near her. once you are in her proximity you can start a casual conversation (either being direct: hey, my name is _ i've seen you around [smile], hows it going? / making some comment about context (eg. food here is pretty good..)). then you have a few options: 1. say i'll add you on facebook or something 2. ask for her number 3. ask if she'd like to go out some time.

main thing is to be chill and friendly (smile)
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>>17635844
What anime?

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I don't really care about balding that much. I have a nice jaw, I'm nowhere near fat and I have a lot more going on than looks in my life. But I'm afraid my girlfriend will care. Our relationship is pretty intense and almost flawless so far, we're going to live together soon.

I've told her before that I'm 22 and starting lose a lot of hair and I'll probably be bald when I'm older. She doesn't seem to make the connection between losing hair and eventually being a bald man. I've probably not been clear enough, but I'm...
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>>17635782
>>>/lgbt/7008004

If you don't want finasteride you can try topical alfatradiol or minoxidil.
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just get bald holy shit how can people depend on pills for their entire fucking life
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Just go bald, it doesn't matter that much. She probably doesn't care, and the only thing that will bother her about it is if you make it a thing and are super self conscious about it.

Stop talking about it and just let it happen. She's going to be a lot more miffed if you fuck up your dick because of some stupid insecurity.

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Recently, my girlfriend started acting really weird. She was pissed 24/7 and she avoided me like the plague. One day, her big sister called and told me she started doing some heavy drugs. She also apologised for making everything worse by threatning to kill herself if she ever does this again. (her big sister is a junkie, she got into it through her). Now my Gf wont even come to campus anymore and she always lies about her whereabouts. My first girlfriend killed herself after beeing raped by her stepdad so Ive had extreme problems with girls since then. She started doing drugs...
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lol you know how to pick 'em

ignore her, junkies are scum. find a new girl.
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>>17635759
But weve been together for a while now and she only started doing it recently. I lost my best friend to drugs when I was 17. I think I can still help her.
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>>17635780
you can't. don't waste your youth fucking around with junkies, they are awful people who screw everything up and rarely get better.

find yourself someone better, which is pretty easy considering how low your bar is

Need rapid advise
Im texting a girl rn. I vaguley remember asking her on a date for thursday when i was very drunk.

Think she said yes but i cant remember? how do i draw the info out?
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>>17635746
she just text me asking if i was excited for thursday? could be the date but could be something else?

Should i say yes i am and just wing it? or say excited for what and risk looking like an asshole?
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>>17635750
are you actually retarded?
>>
What did you invite her to?


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