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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 317. page
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Heres the story, I've met someone with anxiety disorder, I was a faggot and couldn't recognize it, he got attached to me after I suggested we can move in together, he spent months dealing with my verbal threats because he couldn't work or properly talk, I made him study instead, 6h a day of math homework daily to prepare him for uni, which he said he's fucking terrified he would fail to even cross the gate

around 8 months passed and I acknowledged his loyalty and efforts, the cost was suffering the biggest guilt trip ive ever had in my life, I was...
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I face the morally questionable act of accepting something he always wanted, my determination is titanium, my core personality never allows me to go back in my word so I know if I make this real I'm never going to go back on my word, what I'm talking about is I would accept him as a dependent forever. No more work or studying, he would live under my care like a child for life, this is a serious decisions and of course a lot of people would disagree with it if not everyone

My question is what the fuck should I do? He would be infinitely grateful to escape "life"....
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>>17635719
There is a WIDE gap between being a bully and making him totally dependent on you.

How about assuaging your guilt by using your abilities to guide him toward therapy, support groups and the like that will help him become more successfully independent?
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>>17635719
are you gay ?

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Hey /adv/, I have a pretty simple question.
I'm turning 21 in the next few weeks, and I’ve been thinking of hiring a prostitute for myself since I’m still a virgin.
Basically, after many failed attempts and advances on girls since I was 14 I just haven't been successful at finding a girl who would want to date me - let alone have a fling with me (even with mutual interests aside), and it has been frustrating me pretty badly coming up to 21, especially comparing my life to all my other friends who have had a slew of past partners and flings and how they're...
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> Do it and be happier that I now have the experience?
Nobody feels happy after a hooker.
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>>17635695
I don't know, I mean I'm hankering pretty bad at this point that a quick shag is more than enough to make me content.

Also, I probably should have clarified - it's an 'escort' at a brothel - not something like off craigslist.
>>
>>17635701

just do it, felt good to just get it over with desu

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Hey anons,

basically at my university in London I met this Chinese ethnicity Italian born girl and for halloween she wants to go trick or treating as she has never been, bearing in mind I know little about the areas of london whereabouts would be a good place to go trick or treating with her?
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Isn't she too old for trick-or-treating? Find a costume party instead.
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>>17635689
I would guess one of you know of a group going out together; go with them. Otherwise (I don't know anything about London or Halloween popularity) I would go walk around residential areas (not apartment buildings, like townhouses). These are likely on the periphery of the city or in otherwise unimportant / non-industrial areas.
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>>17635689
is it possible to go to a cousin that has children? Let the parents off the hook for the night, get to take her with them, and demonstrate your value as a father at the same time. Girls honestly do kinda love that shit.

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How do I get over the fact that every single person I studied with back in university is more successful than i'll ever be?
Most of them are either working abroad (I'm from a third world country) or another city making huge bucks while I just lost my first job ever (a dead-end job over that ) and have been a neet/shut in for near 3 months now.
I don't even know how to get a job and I'm unwilling to move out of my parents house because I've never lived by my own and just the thoughts of doing it so overwhelm me and turns me down.
I've got...
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>>17635678
My gut reaction advice is "find success yourself"

What did you major in?

It's very unlikely you'll find success sitting in your room moping on 4chan, but you may be able to find the motivation to get outside

You need a job. Not a job for money, but a job for progress. To make connections and find better jobs down the road. Do you have connections from university you can take advantage of?

It takes courage to ask for help, but you've said it yourself: it's...
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>>17635857
I'm a software the developer.
A little background on me, I was offered a job even before I graduated in a local social security company and I worked there updating old software and developing new ones there for close to 4 years. On July this year, I was let go for reasons beyond my control (nepotism).
The job itself was really mundane and stressful, the pay was ok but there was no way to doing better there. I had little to no guidance while I was working there and everything that I learned was pretty much...
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>>17635971
>3. Most people that actually interest me would required me to move to other cities, where I don't know anyone and living by my own sounds like something I couldn't really handle.
that should be
3. Most *jobs* that actually interest me would required me to move to other cities, where I don't know anyone and living by my own sounds like something I couldn't really handle.

Its been 3 weeks of me dating my girlfriend, and we offically called each other a "couple" last week. We have yet to have sex. We've intensely made out once, but she said she got "nervous" and stopped midway through.

Should i be concerned? I know a lot of couples have sex before they even consider themselves a couple. Ive gotten to the point where i want to have it. When i try and talk about it, she tells me to stop and she doesnt want to. Whenever i lean in to kiss her, (like really kiss her) and turns her head and gives a nervous laugh or something.

How...
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Do you actually like this woman or are you just trying to have sex with her?
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>>17635658
Spotted the virgin. They have been dating for 3 weeks. It's normal to have sex by then.

No need to panic yet, OP, but I hope she'll relax soon and you get to have sex. Is she a virgin by any chance? Then it will be tough.
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>>17635669
No, she is not a virgin. That scares me even more.

Today I can finally see why my dad left my mum all those yrs ago.

>be 23 and move back home after uni.
> a couple of relatively minor misunderstandings occur between me and my mum over a few weeks.
>Explain to mum that when we deal with these situations i feel sometimes she unnecessarily jumps to anger/starts raising her voice / generally being a bit difficult when i'm just trying to have a reasonable calm discussion to resolve the matter.
>mum...
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Oh yeah, after last weeks row she told me to 'go fuck myself' and then didn't apologise all day. Eventually she did apologise. Wtf?
>>
well we know at least one thing your dad did that worked....
>>
Haha yup. He noped right out of there yeah.

Has anyone else's parents sworn at them before/ been like this?

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My friend is mad at me because I don't like the way he broke up with his gf. He broke up with his gf of two years, after ignoring several of her texts, fucking around with some other girl, and then finally texting her saying he's just moving on. The poor girl was depressed and worried every second and he didn't really do much. Plus, he'd lie to us about what he's doing and he just spends most of his time now hanging with the other girls and not with us, his friends. Am I in the wrong here? He says I don't understand and that I'm "judging...
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>>17635606
uh, its his fucking life OP and it was their relationship so stay out of it
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>>17635615
He keeps asking me why I don't like him that much any more. If he wants to fuck himself up he can go do that but not near me
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>>17635619
ok then wash your hands of the guy and stop giving a shit, sounds like you got other buddies

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So I found out yesterday that my gf of about 4 months has been texting some dude from her work for a few weeks. Ive never checked her phone or anything like that before but yesterday when we were hanging out i noticed her phone went off, she got a message 'hey baby' and i couldnt ignore.

Had her open up her phone and red the log, was for the past two days (the rest had been previously deleted).

>he asks her to come over and she says she cant, she has soccer and that her bf (me) is off work (yesterday).
>He...
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Confront her, but be a man about it. If you already had awkward sex then it's not like bringing it up will ruin anything because its already affecting her. Tell her you were already cheated on and she needs to make it obvious to that guy she's not interested and not pussyfoot around it trying to be nice. She needs to value being nice to you over him and do as you want, not him. If she can't do something so simple and make it clear she's not interested then you should just leave her before you get cheated on again. Relationships are a two way street of respect and loyalty.
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>But if I break up with her Im essentially just handing this dude my gf, and that doesnt feel right either.
If she's a skank and cheats WITH him, she'll cheat ON him too. So he'll get what he deserves soon enough.
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>>17635604
OP are you reading the same shit as I am? Cause I see a girl that has already moved on to this guy right under your nose. All you got left is not letting them both make an even bigger fool of you than they already have. Oh, he's not the problem, she is for reciprocating and if you stay you can cock block him for a while but she'll find a way.

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>be me
>sitting on the bus chatting it up with mate
>elderly black gentlemen talking on his phone sits next to use
>"you should see these white retarded faggots I'm sitting next to on the bus"
>spaghetti begins
>"one look like a hippopotamus the other got a two foot kike nose"
>he looks at us
>try to...
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I don't think it is wrong to avoid the argument with those people, just stay silent, as long as he doesn't do anything to you except mocking you. it is the consequences of living in this social life nowadays.
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get a car

public transportation literally attracts subhumans
>>
Say "shut the fuck up old timer."

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Hi guys I've just woken up and I'm putting the get good grades plan into action wish me luck
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What is this plan you talk of, grade guy?
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I post of the plan to not fuck up anymore and take ops advice to knuckle down again I promised to keep posted I'll post my grades tomorrow to see the changes if there is any I got two weeks till end of quarter
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>>17635591
You know what dude, power to you. I will live vicariously through you since I passed school with the bare minimum.

How do I get a job when I have no experience or credentials? I dropped out of uni due to depression and am getting treatment. I'll eventually get back to studying but I need to do something in the meantime. I don't have a single thing to put on my resume apart from having finished high school. What do I do?
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Do ya know any type of skills that you can use online? Like proofreading or programming software or anything like that?
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>>17635494
>go to restaurant
>ask to wash dishes
>instant job

Seriously. I've never told anyone ever that they can't wash dishes.
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>>17635847
This.
>>17635494
You're going to have to start with the very basics unfortunately. Dish washer, cashier, warehouse worker, etc. I only have a high school diploma and the best entry level job I've gotten was a customer service rep making $13.50 an hour.

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broke up with my girlfriend for a long as time and I feel devastated about the choice I made.

Its been 2 weeks and talking to her about us wont work because she wont budge. During the first week I tried to comfort her but she says she doesnt want a relationship now or to see anyone. She also says that loves me and shes ok with trying again but now shes doesnt seem to follow her words, shes very emotionally driven.

Now we are in the awkward talking phase.
Whats the right approach to get back to her?
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shameless bump
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>>17635492
stop talking to your ex. stop trying to keep up with what she is doing and don't allow her to know anything about what you are doing. Shortly you will find she is seeing another guy or guys and its gonna hurt a lot worse than it does now.
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Don't. Get over her get your shit together, then in a while try again. She doesn't seem to be emotionally driven on this, she seems to have a much more logical approach to things. She probably still does love you but recognizes that if you get back together so immediately the underlying issues that caused you to break up with her in the first place won't change at all so the relationship will be damaged from the very start.

If you take a break for a bit and figure out what you want to do with your life, reassess and learn more about yourself then you can...
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Gf I've had for about a year suddenly starts following guys on Instagram that like all her pics
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I have tried talking to her about it but she just says "don't worry I don't like them" pls help
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BREAK UP
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>>17635484
If she doesn't see the issue even with rational discussion she will never. She does this because she is trolling for more attention from these guys and one may be your replacement. All you can do is brace yourself for the inevitable

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Why should I still mindlessly worship my mother? Sure she clothes and feeds me, but she also criticizes me and my brother pretty hard imo, locks up the controllers to our ps4, won't let me upgrade the pc, and she loves up the sweets since she thinks I'm gonna die of diabetes or some shit.
I know I sound like a young whiny brat but it's getting annoying how she raised me. Her dumb rules, regulations and limitations effectively made me into a weird shut in loser whis lucky to have a girlfriend.
I still love her, but I find her very annoying
>...
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Gotta take the bad with the good mayne. I know how you feel, I've felt the same way before. But it sounds like, despite all of her bullshit, she loves you, which is more than some can say

One day, hopefully, you'll realize that you play a bigger hand in how you turn out than she did. You gotta take responsibility for yourself, young man, otherwise you'll never improve.

Get a job and move out
>>
You know you have to be 18 to post on 4chan, right?
>>
As long as you live under your parents' roof and live on their money, you play by their rules. Simple as that. If you're not okay with it, grow up, get a job and move out.

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I am a pre-med student, in college. I do really well on exams, I do decent amount of work. Most people I work with get grades worse than me, work together to cheat and have all these shortcuts, still don't keep up.

Not a brag thread at all. Problem is many of these people talk to me like I am their servant. Often times telling me what to do. I work with this girl who got a 60 on an exam, doesn't know how to do basic math. Bitch spends half the time telling me how to do things "properly" and the other half complaining about me to the professor.

I...
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I don't understand. What makes you say you are being mistreated? If you were being treated fairly, what would be different? What are this girl's complaints about you?
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>>17635446
You're too nice, and people mistake that for weakness. If you don't take shit off no stanklords, then people will respect you. But, you do. You take major shit from stanklords
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>>17635446
are you a qt girl ?

>>17635455
>You're too nice

from the OP I really dont think so lol

How can I stop masturbating so I can become a more productive man and less of a goober wanker.

How can I stop thinking about sex?
I'm able to get sex once a week only.
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This is NOT going to be easy. Have some freezing cold ice water ready and easy to get to. Whenever you think about sex, gulp that ice water, grab the keys and go for a walk for 10 mins or so. You can also prepare a walking trail beforehand.
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>>17635414
>once a week
I haven't had sex in 3 years...

Why am I so pathetic?
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>>17636022
>3 years
I haven't had sex in 8 years...

Why am I so pathetic?

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How the fuck do I stop fighting with my gf over trivial and clingy shit? I wish I could just care less about her, it would be easier
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>>17635374

Girls are like a different breed of animal. The way they think and respond are so different because the left side of their brain isn't as well-wired.

Girls want to fight. It sounds stupid, but the world we live in deprives men and women of their natural survival instincts. What's life without a little struggle?

Unless your gf finds inner peace and tranquility, she'll nag about anything that makes life not perfect.

Just get angry with her and then apologize. Girls want to be...
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>>17635379
Yeah but its not just her that starts the fights, i do too, probably more than her.
>>
Give latest example. And stay with the facts pls

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I need some advice so I thought I'd make this thread where anyone can ask questions
about drugs and all that is related.

So I have been thinking lately about trying cannabis. It's not legal where I currently live
but I'm thinking of travelling somewhere it is.

I know it can't really kill you but how much damage will it acutally do?

What about a psychosis?

Brain damage?

Cancer?

Is it worth it?

How do you know if you've got good weed or crap?

Any advice helps. Won't trust google since...
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All those scientific questions can be answered through google. Look at actual scientific studies and research instead of biased articles full of he said, she said.

As for the is it worth it. Well that's up to you. Why do you want to smoke? What do you hope to gain/achieve out of it? How much and how long do you plan on smoking?

The type of weed totally depends on where you live and what kind of dealer or shop you buy from as well.

In my experience I found that I functioned better if I smoked bad weed that wasn't that strong. It didn't have...
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In general op, I'm probably a horrible person to advise you on this because I fucked up a lot as a teenager.

But my rules kept me from actual addiction and they were given to me by a dear relative so I'll share that with you.

Nothing should be injected into your veins.
Nothing smoked in rock form.

That's it. I'd like to add that in my personal experience, I wouldn't recommend overdoing it on acid.

Additionally mushrooms should only be done in the right frame of mind with people that you know well and trust. It makes you...
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can anyone help me with some meds i can take to improve my daily life?

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What are the reasons you are suicidal /adv/?
We have a lot of suicide threads on here, but i think most of those people don't actually follow trough. What is it that makes the difference between someone wanting to die and someone actually doing it?
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>>17635343
That tiny bit of hope that things might get better.
>>
The depression is paralyzing and keeps us from actually going through with it. You should do some research on the increases of suicides as a result of taking antidepressants, I think it will answer your question
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>>17635372
So the spark of hope plus the paralizing effect of depression are the causes for people not going trough with it?
What is it that snaps with people that actually do it?
Has anyone ever read a suicide note from someone that killed himself?

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My girlfriend and my best friend, all of us are really close. I notice that she always gets bitchy and sad whenever she hasn't seen him for a few days or so. It's like she needs to see him every once in awhile to be consistently happy. She also copies a lot of his mannerisms and things like that, and just emulates him in general.

I guess I'm just paranoid that she respects him more than me or something. Am I just tripping or is this something to be concerned about?
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>>17635337
I'd also be concerned if I was you. Have you brought this up with her?
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>>17635342

I know shes not fucking him or anything because we always see him together, and we live together.

I haven't brought it up to her though because I know it will start a really bad fight :/
>>
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>>17635349
You need to communicate with her and calmly explain your point of view. If she gives you shit for it then I suggest you start preparing for plan b.

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Am I retarded? I can't even do simple directives without making it complicated, over thinking it, under thinking it, or being generally careless. Hell some of my posts are unintentionally dumb.
I don't want to be humiliated by my friends, family, and anons about my idiocy anymore. What do?
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>>17635326
Relax. EVERYBODY says and does embarrassingly dumb things from time to time.

All you can do is think a bit before you speak, and never make the same dumb mistake twice.
>>
>>17635326

I get this too.

Honestly, it's because you spend too much time on the computer. You use all of your cognition to feed your brain useless stimulation via dank memes and facebook posts and it "fills your cup" so that the smallest task causes your to spill.

Here's how you fix it.

Every morning, meditate on a routine. Drink water, eat breakfast, brush teeth, go to the gym if that's your fancy. Try to preordain as many predictable events that could happen in your daily life. If those go well, the next time something unexpected happens, your brain will be able to adjust your cognition with maximum responsiveness.

Stop getting on the computer at least 2 hours before you sleep. Preferably 4 hours. The more time your brain has to cool off before it starts its sleep cycle, the more effective your learning will be.
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>>17635356
What can I do without internet? Not using my phone or even computer leaves no interesting options or options I can succeed in
also I sleep from 7 AM to 2 AM
>>17635341
Sometimes my mind freezes up

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I did something amazingly stupid.
>a few months back I came home and kissed my roommate
>now we've concluded we're bi.
>Total month of awkwardness and acceptance >started dating
and we've now been dating for 5 months.
It's all secret bc we're both from small villages where people are highly homophobic and racist. >I'm in a frat
>we've got rules on being with people and eventually had to tell them I was...
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>>17635322
When do you get to the part that's stupid?

Either the two of you are legitimately bi or you're just experimenting or you're sexually confused.

In any case it is nobody's business but yours, and nobody particularly cares. Relax. Explore the adventure until it takes a clear shape and then get on with your life.
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>>17635357
The problem is it'll get out now. and unfortunately i don't have the luxury to say people don't care bc if it comes to either my hometown friends or parents i'm legit gonna be shunned.
>>
>>17635392
ya dun goofd
plain and simple
you are 99% just going through a phase

just know that itll all end soon : ^ )

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Hey all,

My girlfriend and I are going travelling separately for 8 months next year at opposite ends of the world.

However i was talking to her about it this morning and she is already saying what if travelling changes how we feel about each other. I know it wont change me, but I'm already thinking that she will want to sleep with people while travelling now.

Im going to ask her when i next see her if she wants to be single for travelling, and if she does then ill end it there.

Obviously if it doesn't work out it doesn't work, and...
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>>17635310
Why aren't you travelling together?

8 months without seeing each other while travelling is something that would make most relationship fail. I'd suggest to cut it now, it'd be hard to make it work
>>
>I know it wont change me
You say this with such confidence, but you never know what's going to happen.
>>
>>17635310

>I know it wont change me

Thinking that its impossible for yourself to change over the course of a year just goes to show how little insight you have into your life and your current situation.

She's anticipating her life changing whereas you are actively digging your feet into the sand to try to freeze your feelings in time while your life continues and its just unrealistic.

People change. People get older. People meet new people and develop new feelings...
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I have an internet friend and we've been chatting for a few months now, and I really like them. But now, they want to Skype call and I'm hesitant about it because the pictures I sent through kik do not look like me in real life. It's not like I photoshop them beyond repair or anything, it's just the angle + when I move my face even just a bit it becomes 50% uglier. What do I do? I want to video call but it might ruin their impression of me, but it's not like I can say it's because I was catfishing them or anything, because I wasn't.
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>>17635279
If you like them, it's better to video call soon and see if they like the real you or no.
If you're just friends, who cares if they like you physically or not.
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Find the "right" angle on your webcam.

I guess you are at the point when your friend is already interested in you as a person, and it would be harder to scare them away.
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it is not like you lied to them, face them

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I caught some pics from GF by accident. I swear it wasn't on purpose since they let me get her phone when she needs to check something and can't.

When I unblocked it, I caught some pics I didn't know her has. We used to trade this kind of pic, and I was not worried about. I mean, she can take all the pics of herself she want.

What drives me fucking crazy, is when I asked about whatever new pic she had, and she replied they weren't. I handled really bad the situation and she ended up I wanted to check her phone, when I only wanted to know why...
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What?
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>>17635237
Sorry english is not my native language. What can I explain again?
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>>17635240
This
>I'm thinking on confessing the random acess to her phone and asking for the lie, but that would be a major play, and can finish everything between us. Should I confess, or try very hard to dig her lie into myself untill I forget?

What I've gathered from the rest of your post is that she asked you to check something on her phone when you saw what I presume to be nudes. You asked her about them, and she said they weren't new. And now you think she's...
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21 years old, female, 6 days into antidepressants, can't reach orgasm. Has anyone else experienced this? I googled and some people say these side effects pass 3 or 4 months into meds.
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>>17635226
Bump.
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You mean during masturbation?
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I'm male, so I'm not sure about you, but I've been on escitalopram for 3 months. At first it was incredibly hard to reach orgasm, but now I'm almost back to normal. Jaw clenching and the initial fatigue are basically gone.

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So, long story short.
I put a Sharpie up my butt that had a little rough plastic edge that I didn't notice at first, but it's milimetrical.
A couple of drops of blood later (on the toilet) and now bright red blood on the tp I get to ask... Should I be worried? It was a fat Sharpie, not long at all, barely touched my prostate.
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You'll be fine you faggot. Unless this shit goes on for hours you'll be fine. Just stop being a fag
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>>17635218

Funny enough, I'm not a fag, I got into this because my gf talked me into pegging, then I got into anal masturbation.
So, you say I'm gonna be fine? I just went again to the toilet and shat a little bit of mocus and bright blood, but not much.
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>>17635224
So you hold the fantasies of a fag.


But yeah you daijoubu. As long as it doesn't last more than an hour or a few hours probably. But if its still happening half a day later..

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>tfw hanging with a girl at night
>awfully drunk
>we've been conversating, had good chuckles and all of that
>we enter her building but not her flat
>she says she wanted to fuck me but she won't now
>don't know if she said it's just because or because I'm a virgin
>start rambling like "come on, it's not such a big deal, let's...
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>>17635185
She's toying with you dude, if a girl wants to fuck you, she'll do it. She's just messing you around
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>>17635185
Repeat the party. She literally spelled it out for you, dumbass.
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>>17635192
Indeed, but will I get something from that?

>gf's dad believes is conspiracy theorist
>Thinks that WTC was not only a false flag, bit that there were thermonuclear bombs in thw basement and the planes were holograms
>Thinks reptilian-men are real and that tv glitches on YouTube videos are their cloaking devices running low on battery
>Confirms for a fact that he has seen UFO ships
>Takes his battery out of his phone when talking about these things because he thinks...
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>>17635175
Nothing, I don't think having a kill list is that abnormal.
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>>17635194

But telling people to kill their neighbors in front of their neighbor's children is fine? I'm okay with his stupid beliefs, but that's pretty fucked up.
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>>17635201
Oh yeah I see what you mean now. That's a bit rude.

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Hey /adv/ i need some help, i need to do an informative speech for one of my classes, the thing is I don't know what to do it on

Any ideas? Like what are you guys interested in or would want to know?
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>>17635105
>Like what are you guys interested in or would want to know?

You're asking the wrong question lad

What are you interested in and would want to teach?
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>>17635109
Oh okay, well i don't know, I'm really busy woth school and work that I don't really have time to watch the news or see what's going on around, and I don't have hobbies or anything, the small amount of free time i get i'll spend a little time on 4chan or be at the gym, that's why i'm here, to see what you guys think
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>>17635117
Then head over to >>>/pol/

Im sure you'll find something.


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