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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 327. page
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I literally only attract fat/chubby girls.

Because of my body type (im big, tall, muscular but not lean, "bearmode") i get chubby girls attention. I dont like chubby girls. I want a skinny or fit girl.

Wat do? I dont want to change my body type (i love being a bear) but shit, i need pussy, preferably from a girl i find attractive.

Pic unrelated
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>>17603780
Whats wrong with them? Faggot?
>>
>>17603796
Im not attracted to whales/baby whales.

If you are, by no means did i mean to offend, im just saying that im not.
>>
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ITT "I want a hot girlfriend but I want to continue to be disgusting looking, I want her to put in all sorts of effort to keep herself thin and beautiful without her expecting me to lift a finger to keep myself good looking"

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I had a cough for a couple of days, but took a suppressant since I work in an environment with food, so I wouldn't cough on customers things.

I woke up this morning with a deep pain in my shoulders, a low grade fever, and shortness of breath. I vomited and almost passed out in the bathroom, and had waves for fatigue.

I called in to work before 2 hours beforehand. I've been working there for a month. I've not been late (if I was, it was by like 2 minutes due to traffic that made other workers late too). I always stay over my scheduled time to leave...
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>>17603770
It's shit like this that makes me not even want to work at all, period.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, anon. It's shitty to possibly lose your job because you have fucking pneumonia.
>>
>>17603847
Thanks for the empathy. Honestly I need to go to a trade school or even become a medical assistant or something through an associates program,

I'm sick of retail and food. All my issues in this field almost always stem from shit management. Any other type of work I've done I've never had issues with my bosses being mean or outright stupid.

Wish I could find a career in writing anything. I used to make money in college (didnt have enough money to finish my degree) by writing certain...
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>>17603867
I'm about to transfer majoring in Political Science and it just hit me how worthless my degree will be because of how impossible it is to become a real honest politician in my country.

99% of all other jobs (and this includes my shitty field) all consist of corporate politics, bullshit favoritism, and mind-numbing idiocy. It's like there's no escape.

I swear the meaning to growing up is watching your dreams burn away.

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Quick story before question
>be me, 19. M
>Have friend, just turned 20. M
>Been hanging out for a while, normal stuff.
>One day it gets gay
>Now it's gay all day
>Except it's just me now

What do?
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>>17603763
>>Except it's just me now

he wasn't gay just bored
>>
>>17603768
I should clarify, I'm the only one who does shit now. Gay still happens, just in my mouth and the general area around it.
>>
>>17603774
so you're a cumdumpster?

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should i go smoke weed or just go to bed? its 1 am
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Just go to bed
>>
smoke weed
>>
>light up a joint
>burn it like incense
>go to sleep

I recently acquired information that there is a rather large "charity" (National Scale) being run entirely as a scam. I'm unsure of how to proceed, or even what to do. I was certain that if I could find advice anywhere, it would be on 4chan. Any ideas?
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>>17603731
Report it to the authorities.

Also name the charity.
>>
Believe me, i would do it if it was an option, but from a legal standpoint, there is nothing that can be done to stop it, and if something isn't done, this organization will only continue to bleed charitable money away from those who really need it.
>>
>>17603859
Keep posting, you're doing good work

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>Friends with a girl
>Constantly gets pissed at me like I'm her BF
>Today for example
>I went home from her party she invited me to, had a football game to watch
>She sends me a passive aggressive text asking why I left
>I texted her early this evening to text me if she had plans to go out
>Text me back, "Maybe I'll text you."

This...
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lol nah
nah
she's just playing you, son
i say you cut ties and move the fuck on
especially if you have a thing for her/are attracted to her
it's going nowhere, just like a blocked run
>>
>>17603653
Friend zone emotional support between chads, that's what you are. She's trying to make you feel like you have a chance with her my imitating a relationship with fake "lovers quarrels" to keep you along until she can find some good Chad dick.

It's textbook, you seem inexperienced.
>>
>>17603677

OP here, your probably right

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>anytime anything bad happens to you, it's 100% your fault and you should have prevented it
>anytime anything good happens to you, it's either dumb luck of benevolence from others and you did nothing to bring it upon yourself


Why does it always feel this way? Why does everyone always tell me this is the case? Even when I literally roll dice badly, people act like I did something wrong and unskillful and brought the misfortune upon myself on purpose. It goes double when it's stuff of complete...
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>>17603648
Why do you even care about others' perception of your successes and failures in life? The fault of every single event is shared among the elements that were actively involved in the event in question. Pinpointing the true cause behind many of life's happenings is not only impossible in practice but probably also theoretically due to the chaotic nature of the Universe. For that reason I ask that you fucking chill my nigga.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7qFN6naZGc
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>>17603648
nobody really says the second...

people look up to successful/rich people, even if those people didn't do anything to deserve it
>>
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Stop redirecting blame to yourself. If you are able to calm down and think about what lead up to what happened, you should be able to decide how much was and wasn't in your control.

Based on that, you can deduce what should be under your list of worries.

As for good things, well, think of it the same way; understand that lots of things that are good are thanks to others and their labor. It has been like this since the beginning of humankind. Think nothing of it, but give your thanks where necessary/appropriate whenever possible so then you won't be seen...
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What are some ways to get invited to parties? Senior year and I'm not very sociable though I have friends in all classes.
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>>17603641
Add them on facebook

Most party invitations are through facebook nowadays, so if people think you're cool, they'll add you to the invite when they're creating the event

Also join your senior class's facebook group

I'm pretty lame but I still managed to get invited to some
>>
>>17603649
My senior class FB page is only 300 people out of the 1k in the class. Last post was sept 1st lol
>>
>>17603695
That's because it's still only the beginning of the year. I didn't join the group till second semester. And that's when people really start posting and joining.

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Why can't I send this to her?
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Because it's shit?
>>
Because it's pathetic?
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Because it's shitty?

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I brought a girl over to hang. She has a boyfriend but she said she didn't mind if I had her number. I invite her over to my house and secure the "date" later that day. My roommate helps me clean up so I didn't feel like she would be intruding if she hung out with us for a while. My guest was having a good time talking to my roommate and then she starts drinking and they start kissing. Obviously she's not a drinker and I should have stopped her. After they kiss I'm like "hey where's mine" and she says something along the lines of...
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>>17603604
shieet your roommate got game bro
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>>17603604
>things that never happened

But to play pretend with you-
Dude. Don't fucking argue with your date, who is kissing your fem roommate, about giving you a kiss if she's playing hard to get.

You should have just shut the fuck up, enjoyed the show, and if they got into it whipped your dick out.

Jesus this is 3-somes 101.


Oh and if your hypothetical room-mate is doing this repeatedly, she wants the d. Or to tease the d.
>>
>>17603635
>enjoyed the show, and if they got into it whipped your dick out.

I didn't want anyone with us. I just didn't want to be rude after she helped me out and cleaned up. I'm not up for sharing at this point. Maybe in the future.

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So, last two threads were me venting/keeping a temporary log for myself of what happened.

This one is no different. Just venting for my own health. Feel free to share your woes or what's on your mind in this thread if you like. Insults or misdirected anger is also welcome. I'll respond with a comment and pictures of art or anything cool/aesthetic/whatever I like.
Or you can ask questions/share thoughts/doubts about my situation.

tl;dr at the very end of the long green text (it's my first).
(1)
> just got back a month...
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(2)
> say it's because of crap I'm going through
> make it clear she's not a part of it
> don't give entire reason until near the end of the exchange because I made the people who sponsored me by name worry about other stuff
> eventually come out, apologize to guy
> then try to talk to guy about some things that I didn't like because it hurt my feelings about what he said from before
> didn't know what to call it at the time, but realize he's a gas lighter
> get chewed out by him and said that there was talk of me being sent back because of isolation
> can't argue even if I wanted to, just sit there and take it
> can't blame him about food not being eaten and things like that
> I am wrong for doing it
> but I won't give reason still
> just say it's no one's fault
> night ends on that note
> one day K says I should go on walks with her and her dog because she isn't allowed to in the evening by herself
> first go I'm a little reluctant, but it's better than nothing
> one of the best decisions in my life was made then
> pretty normal convos at first
> later start talking to K about normal stuff more casually
> start going on walks everyday
> start to be able to talk about anything
> culture, meaning of life, philosophy, food, various opinions, you name it
> still give cold shoulder because of bad past though
> K gets comfortable anyway and opens up because she's one of the best people I'll ever meet
> also, K is a (super) nurse
> "Makes sense" I think
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(3)
> open up to K eventually, takes a while
> fyi I come from a background where I was very independent
> the few friends I made due to moving a ton were more family to me as I came to realize later on in life
> most of them are gone now, only a couple left
> anyway, guy gets suspicious, always giving me dirty looks thinking I don't notice
> don't respond to or look at him when...
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(4)
> cry for first time in a long time (good five years?) and apologize deeply to K about everything I said in order to protect myself
> saying "I forgive you" isn't a part of their culture so much as moving on
> understands my remorse and sincerity, share last moments together sitting in silence after talking a little
> feels good to be cared for/loved and to be able to do the same back
> gives me a picture...
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How can I be a nicer, friendlier person?
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stop caring about yourself
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>>17603561
I don't give two shits about myself and contemplate suicide daily, now what
>>
you should read ``how to win friends and influence people``

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I'm really starting to hate my job, and I'm beginning to think it's the source of many of my problems.

I just hit my five-year anniversary at work this year. Everyone was congratulating me and all I could think about was that I couldn't believe I'd wasted so much of my life. Five years of going nowhere with basically nothing to show for it. Five years of making absolutely no progress in my career or any other aspect of my life. I don't even know why I'm still there, other than I have nowhere else to go.

It's certainly not...
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Just move to a different company if they aren't paying you enough.
If that isn't possible raise your level of skill so you become in demand.
If that isn't possible because you've hit the ceiling in your career path then pick a new career path.
>>
>>17603565
>Just move to a different company if they aren't paying you enough.
Part of the problem is that so much of my knowledge applies only to my company's products or the devices they interface with. The basic principles of software testing are the same everywhere, but a trained monkey could learn the basics of software testing. I really just need to get out, find a different career, but then I'm basically starting from scratch with no relevant knowledge, experience, or education.
>>
>>17603591
You've been doing this for 5 years and you just realized this now?

You need to decide your goal beforehand then do what you need to to get there. Do you want to make $300k? Do you just want a $100k low stress job? $1m? All of these are possible with low risk provided you put in enough effort and plan ahead.

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What do I do when I have the desire to end everyone's life???
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>>17603522
start with the man in the mirror
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>>17603529
I've contemplated killing myself may times actually. Never went through with it cause I haven't found a painless way to do it yet
>>
>>17603522
Harry Potter and the philosophy stonning
Harry Potter and the prisoners of awswich
Harry Potter and the order of the third Reich

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>want to do something
>too scared and nervous to do it

For me it's doing stand up comedy at open mics.
What is it for you /adv/?
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>>17603501
toastmasters

plus i dont want to pay the membership fee
>>
>>17603501
Same I want to do stand up so bad but I'm so nervous my delivery will be such shit and nobody will laugh and I'll just wanna die.
>>
>>17603924
Do you know 100% that you will be shit? no? then go do it and see if your right or wrong plus nobody becomes a good comedian overnight, you have to fail over and over again for awhile until you know for sure that if this is something you should continue or not.

remember certainty is the enemy of growth.

Girl I'm talking to is kinda confusing, to be honest.

Not sure if I'm getting played, over thinking it, only have experience with clingy women, or if she's just weird.

Basically, in the past week, we hung out three times- once downtown, we ate and walked around our campus. Then we hung out at the pool the next day, and just the other day we saw don't breathe and got frozen yogurt. All very date-like things, seems to me.

Most recently in the theater we even held hands, and she not only returned the hand-holding, but also initiated it...
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>>17603454
Let me correct one detail, now that I think about it- she did hug me for real when i got her from her place yesterday. But as a counterpoint, she was very unreceptive when i tried to kiss her earlier in the week.
>>
you care too much and she knows
>>
>>17603454
I had a similar issue a few weeks ago, turns out she was seeing two people and wanted to try us both out before she went exclusive.

I won't say that is the case with yours but I think that she might just be hesitant about jumping into a relationship. Your best bet is just going to be honest with her and hope she actually gives you a straight answer. Better to know than to speculate and poison your thoughts.

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How do I get my roommates to stop constantly having people over? I have two (pajeet) roommates, and they have people over almost every day. They're not super loud, but they come over pretty late (9 or 10 at night) to have dinner and stay for hours, or sometimes during the day. They tell me that most Indians eat this late, but I find it all extremely disruptive. I'm trying to go to bed at that time and hate having my private space being turned into a public space. How do I approach this, /adv/?
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Are you incapable of talking to them and negotiating a "no friends over after this time" agreement?
>>
>>17603414
Given what I know about their cultural norms it seems unreasonable to demand a cut off point like that
>>
>>17603434
If you're a retard who can't talk to his roommates like a normal person, you put up with it. They're not mindreaders, they're not going to know that something's wrong if you don't fucking tell them.

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I hate my life

I worked hard in school and got straight A's, high GPA, told myself "No big deal you'll be able to make friends some day, just focus on school right now" but now it's too late, I have no people my own age around me. I can't make friends, school was the BEST opportunity to do so and I wasted it.

Did some internships, got a good 6 figure job straight out of college. I have tons of money now. But I'm miserable. I live alone in some fancy apartment and I think about killing myself every day. I feel like I'm on...
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>>17603331
don't know but if you ever actually off yourself like a dumbass then feel free to send some of the money my way
>>
if you have any savings, go on a extended vacation to different countries. you will lose any inhibition quickly enough, people are very friendly towards travellers and there's plenty of people who travel alone.

plus when you come back home you will have plenty of good stories to share.
>>
>>17603331
I didn't start making six figures until I was 30. You're way ahead of everyone else in that department but behind in the friends department. It's not the end of the world though, you're still young, there's still time.

Try taking a stupid community college class in the evening, something like photography or artistic will have interesting people that are in their 20s or early 30s. You have to get yourself out there, don't just go home on the weekends and sulk.

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how do i become confident and charismatic without alcohol? I'm a complete sperglord in social situations while sober but when I drink, i notice i become much more fun to be around and people don't get weirded out by me (many people have told me that's the case too). How do i get that without being drunk?
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>>17603326
Drugs. Phenibut seems to work. Just look for drugs that help with social anxiety but don't expect miracles.
>>
>>17603326
Drugs and therapy for your social anxiety.
To start with, the drugs do work in 95% of people: better anxiolytics basically do what alcohol does to you, but with less cognitive dysfunction.
The problem is that none can do it with zero cognitive effects, so drugs are only used for short-term treatment.
Therapy is the long-term solution.
>>
>>17603326

Practice. Next time you're drunk pay attention to what it is you do and then try to imitate it while sober. It will be a trial and error thing, but with practice you will learn. Fake it till you make it. If you can do it drunk, the potential is there, so you can do it sober too, if you just learn to chill and practice helps with that.

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>Be me, a 19 year old male, had happy sex life and now with my fourth girlfriend.

>A few sexy times later, she tells me about previous boyfriend being bigger, but he had a lower libido.

>Get jealous and start the "jelqing" meme.

Damaged my dick the second time I did it. This was in late August. My dick literally has a torsion of like fifteen degrees to the right. Other symptoms include chronic constipation, weaker urine flow, and a flaccid penis that feels...
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oh boy
>>
Did you actually tell them what you did or did you just go in and say "I don't know what happened, help!"
>>
Completely upfront about it. Promise you.

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Am i ugly anons?
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Because ive been rejected by ugly girls and hot girls, i try not to seem desperate even thogh i am. I just want a good girl and need to know from femanons if im ugly or not.
>>
>>17603266
no, just bland
>>
>>17603271
Explain, am i mild cute or.?

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Hey, I'm gay. I want to come out to my parents and don't know how really. Any suggestions?

Also I'll answer most questions sent my way.
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>>17603263
1. why tell them
2. are you a boy or girl

Don't really have any suggestions cause I'm not the type to offer up info unless you ask. I'm an open book once you ask but until it comes up it's just random info that no one cares about
>>
>>17603263
Think about it a bit more. Depending on how your parents are, just fucking don't. I'm 20 and whatever-sexual (pansexual for all I know) for around a year. Telling my parents anything has not crossed my mind a single time, and it probably never will, unless I end up married to something that doesn't look much like a straight woman, which is unlikely. I'll tell if and only if I engage in a serious relationship where that will become self-evident if I ever take them to my parents' place.
>>
>>17603286
I'm a guy.
I feel like they should know that they produced something that won't evolutionarily succeed in any way.

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I absolutely have to call in tomorrow for work for a reason that my boss would not find "acceptable". Its going to happen, i just need some sort of excuse. Calling in sick seems sorta dicy.

I need good, believable, safe ideas.
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>>17603248
tell em you're pregnant
>>
>>17603254
God damn it that better not be the only response i get for this
>>
>>17603320
what more do you need

I've got $500CA to waste. I was thinking about saving it but this isn't currency that I'll need for a very long time.

>What should I buy?
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Video games
>>
Drugs. Namely?

l s d
d m t
w e e d
c o c a i n e
s h r o o m s
>>
samsung note 5

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Okay so my boss who happens to be a rich Russian prince, wants to become "big" in hip-hop. I'm planning to use him as a test drive for future artists as I want to start a talent business, helping artists get out there. Where should I start? As this retard has an endless supply of money, what should I do?

He says he also wants to be famous back home with the young people in Russia. what do?
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Nigga we aren't here to be your A&R development team, but here are some starters.

>Make radio friendly or club friendly bangers
>Get beats from hot producers right now
>Get verses from top artists right now
>Invest as much as you can in promotion, radio spins, etc.
>>
>>17603202
Interview plenty of up and black rappers. They have to be black in order to attract attention unfortunately. Make contact and "donate" gifts, money to small but still famous record labels in order to gain recognition.

What do you bastards plan on calling yourselves?
>>
>>17603210
Xyz "friendly"

Thats hard. Most of the top hip hop shit out there is all about sex, sometimes drugs, having money, and hurting people and bragging about it all

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Should i post this about gurls that dont respond, or does it look desperate.
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>>17603192
Uh if they dont respond then they dont want you
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>>17603192
it sounds pathetic
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>>17603203
Why

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How do you know when she's not interested? I'm bad at reading people.
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If she wants to hang out and she lets you touch her you know she's interested.
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>>17603175
Not OP but thats weird advice, she hangsout alone with me but won't let me touch her ( well not that I tried but she hasnt given an opening)
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Depends on her age. Signs are different depending on context and age. Give more information.

/adv/ THE ABUSED THAT KNOW ASTROLOGY CAN DO MORE AND HAS DONE MORE THAN YOU EVER HAVE CAN NEVER ENDURE THE LIES THAT YOU SPEW !!

CEASE THE LIES /adv/ BEFORE EVERY PASTSTORICAL FIGURE IS GENDER SWAPPED TO FORCE SUFFERING UPON THE ENTIRE GROUP !!

/adv/ become more order good .
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Nigga what
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>>17603132
Ur fried cunt
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>>17603132
Typical Pisces

Do you have any swamp ass remedies? I've tried numerous techniques, yet my ass will still get swampy sometimes.
9 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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have you tried standing more
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You need to pour coffee in there, cream helps too. Beware aligators though.
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Wash yourself. Every time. Yes, with water.

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i am currently going OFF my anti-depressant meds. so i am going on lower doses until i eventually dont have to take any. all well and good. but the other day i had some drinks. and its driving me crazy. i was with some friends and i figured it wasn't a big deal. my psychiatrist said i could have a few.

but it stresses me out. just thinking about the interactions in my brain between prozac and alcohol is driving me crazy. i feel like by drinking while on these meds i am permanently fucking up my brain chemistry and there's no going back. as lame as this sounds...
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You're fine and these feelings will pass, you didn't perma-fuck-up your brain, you'll be ok, try to focus on other things
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>>17603101
you remind me of a girl I knew & you're fine lmao don't worry about it
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>>17603183
>>17603180

Thank you for the reassurance. I know I seem crazy anxious. But that's kind of just my personality.

Whenever I take any type of drug, I wonder what effect it is having on my brain. I wonder how different drugs interact. I often worry if it will effect my thinking patterns or my intelligence (not that I think I'm really smart, just in general).

When I look up fluoextine it says "do not take alchohol", and yet my doctor...
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