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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 334. page
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A guy I dated briefly sexually assaulted me about a month ago and I can't get over it. I can't stop thinking about it. It's making me really miserable, and my already very low self esteem has hit rock bottom.
Therapy isn't an option. Am I overreacting? How do I get it out of my head?
20 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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By going to the police?
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>>17598929

Why isn't therapy option? You sound traumatised and usually therapy is the only thing that helps.
>>
>>17598931
Big legal fuss that will amount to nothing. >>17598934
Therapy has never helped before and I don't see how it will help now. I just want to get over it.

Haircut suggestions for a guy with curly hair? Product suggestions?

What about something like pic related?

/fa/ isn't responding, they're too busy talking about black shirts and brown-colored boots.
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>>17598917

Most of those look pretty faggy to me, but I know little about fashion.

I'd recommend very short.
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>>17598917

the guy in the bottom right corner has it best imo. looks the most natural. i love curly haired men wtih a passion but it does admittedly look gay in most cases.

if you post a picture of yourself we can better recommend styles though. it all depends on the face. and no describing your face or posting a picture of someone else does not help
>>
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>>17598937
I've been told by real girls that my hair looks better longer. Also, when its short it actually becomes straight, so I don't like that.

Pic related, this is my current cut. A bit long so instead of trimming it, I was thinking of trying something different.

Also,

>faggy

Isn't that just the way all male haircut models look?

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I feel grossly inferior to women. I am a guy and I just feel like women can just shit all over us because there are just so many dudes out there pining for them. Like, a woman can just tell you to fuck off, call you a limp dicked faggot at your job and get away with it.

I feel like the sheer number of dudes chasing these women trivializes dating. She can just wait for what she is looking for.

I know life isn't fair but it honestly feels like the only justice you get, is the justice you take. But people think taking justice or standing up for yourself is...
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6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598880

ive found that if you dont faggily attack every women you interact with, you retain a level of control. dont invest in a woman until you've decided if shes worth pursuing. looks are enough to warrant talking casually, but nothing else. train yourself to only pursue a woman if she seems to actually have a personality quality you like on top of those looks.

it means date are fewer and farther between, but it makes each interaction a bit more meaningful and takes the power away from a woman.

if...
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>>17598880

In what setting do women walk all over you and what do you mean by 'retaliation' in this context?
>>
>call you a limp dicked faggot at your job and get away with it
That's bullshit sempai. If this happened in any medium/large company she'd be fired on the spot. Do you not understand what a huge media backlash this shit could have? Well the managers sure do.

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I cut my hair short awhile back and I regret so fucking much. How do I make myself feel feminine again?
16 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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I wouldn't mind advice from guys either
>>
Girls with short hair can be cute too if you rock it right bone density/facial features wise. A lot of people can't do it for shit but some can. Depends on how lucky you are.

I could only say if it works or not if I had a pic to base it off of. But I mean, it'll grow back eventually. There are bigger things to worry about than your hair. Just focus on being happy.
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>>17598878
I'm a guy and I have the same issue, just wait a few months.

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So I'll try to be on point
>23yo
>played games almost daily since i was 3-4yo
>it's all i know of, the only subject i can discuss, i have no other skills in any other subject
>still like games despite them often depressing me with thoughts about how much of my life i've been wasting etc, but i have general depression as of some years now for many reasons

After that background, here's the reason that I started this thread

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So I mean... help? What the fuck is wrong with me and why can't I think rationally? Noone, including psychologists, that I've tried to talk to about this thinks I'm being serious.
It worries me to the point of where I think I should quit videogames. But I still love them and keep coming back shortly after every time I've tried to cold turkey it.
>>
>>17598870
Become a video game tester. Learn to bitch and moan about every little glitch and bug and you'll be good.
>>
>>17598870
bump

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A girl just said she really 'respects me' because of my music taste

What the fuck does this mean
13 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598841

That she complemented you and you should say thanks and complement her back on some suitable occasion.
>>
what do you listen to ?
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>>17598856
Modest Mouse

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>female, 20, social anxiety disorder, never been in a serious relationship
>meet a guy at the gym
>talk myself into talking to him the first day I see him, just because I know how hard it is to start working out in public even if you're just a bit overweight (which he is)
>oh no. He's actually kind of cool, and funny, and smart, and not bad-looking
>after a few weeks of doing cardio next to him between weight reps,...
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>>17598837
be honest, just be like, "sorry i'm a bit weird, I'm not a huge social person" If they dump you for that, they're superficial cunts that you wouldn't want to date anyway.

>he's an engineer
Literally every engineer I know (they go to NJIT) are social retards, you'll group in just fine
>>
>>17598837
Don't pretend or act (exhausting), but also don't put any focus on it. No point in telling.
>>
He is a guy and you're a girl, how socially retarded you are does not matter in the short run.

Should be fine because being quirky and weird can be attractive as long as you are not a complete sperg or bitch.
Long term such as a relationship it could be alright because by the time you start acting like yourself he should have his mind made up if you belong.

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Best to do this in green text guys, but Im really heartbroken and just have had a shit week, and need advice.

>Be me, 20 yo
>meet cute girl at work
>hang out, tells me she has a bf though but are gonna break
>give it some time, but start to get the feelings
>we both confess feelings before she goes on vaca
>2 weeks later, she tells she has feelings for me, we kiss that night

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>>17598807
Nice, got a blow job.
>>
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>>17598812
thx man, still feel like shit. Is it bad I miss her?
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>>17598807
>hang out, tells me she has a bf though but are gonna break
Yellow flag...

>we kiss that night, still hasn't broken up with bf
...orange flag...

>we start a trend of making out and cuddling
...and she still hasn't broken up with her bf. That's it. Red flag. That's where ought to have pulled back.

>>17598825
Is it understandable?...
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I think I'm pretty bad at taking selfies, should I hire a photographer to take some pics of me for a dating site? I really don't know what else to do, have my mom or my 1 male friend photograph me? That would just be awkward.
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598804

just have your 1 male friend take some photos. its not awkward, and if he makes a big deal out of it hes not a very good friend. either way yeah.

i suck at selfies cuz my main camera where i can see myself (the flip camera on my phone) is like 2 megapixels so everything comes out shitty blurry. whereas the main camera (where you cant see yourself) is like 18 but i cant aim it right at me without a mirror,a nd even then its rough.
>>
I know your pain. Cause this is a problem for me as well.

Just, from what I've learned. If you can be in the right mood, and at the right place when you take a selfie. It can turn out really good. I'm terrible with selfies and generally hate getting my picture taken. But I have taken just a very very few decent selfies. It was just because I was out and about saw something scenic, and took a selfie with it in the background
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>>17598804

take a thousand pictures at every fucking angle you can. sort through em.

for every good picture i take there are thirty where i look legitimately retarded.

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Husband and I got 2 dogs almost a year ago, shiba inu and a husky.
Husb never had pets and I had dogs most of my childhood life.
I trained them and had them on a schedule since they were puppies. They got a hang of it especially the husky but the shiba inu does what he wants when he wants mainly bc husb allows it to happen.
He gets disciplined with water/vinegar (not sure if it is as effective anymore)
Dogs tend to "mess" up more under husb's care because he lets them think it's ok/no consequences.
I'm 7 months pregnant and I've...
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>>17598754
shiba inu are serious dogs. You shouldn't have bought one without knowing what you have gotten your self into. They require extremely (I'm using that word in a literal sense). They require har discipline. If you manage too accomplish that you'll have a dog with undying loyalty. Google how to discipline a shibu.
>>
im in your position really, however i have a pomeranian. just had a kid too. told my husband straight up "if you insist on keeping this dog then youre in charge of feeding it, bathing it, playing with it, cleaning up after it and shaving it (because i dont want that long hair getting on my kid). when youre not home, the dog will be tied up in a room by itself. when youre home it can run around, but youre in charge of it." i still have to tell him "uh your dog hasnt had any water or food for 2 days, are you gonna feed it or should i put it on craigslist?"...
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>>17598771
(OP) true, I found out more about shibas after getting one. They can be real stubborn. There was no stopping my husb from getting him even though I told him that it wouldn't be easy. He made the decision of getting 2 dogs at the same time himself when I told to wait and research and perhaps adopt. The issue may not be the shiba's stubborness but also my husband's because he doesn't attend the dogs much unless I constantly make him. The shiba seems to prefer male attention more than female. Idk...
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Hey /adv/ I have a job interview in a few hours, I haven't ever done this before, any tips?
It's not a very serious job. I'm just applying at a barbecue restaurant near my house for part time for (around) minimum wage since I'm just in school.
I already know the basics, dress nice, or polite and professional. What are some things to look out for?

Also, I have kind of long hair but I keep it out of my eyes. How fucked am I?
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Look at the interview questions on glassdoor.
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>>17598773
>1.0 Very Easy
Nice
>>
>>17598737
>It's not a very serious job
Doesn't matter. Never give the impression you don't care about work, even if you actually do.
>What are some things to look out for?
Don't try cracking jokes or lighten the mood, it backfires 9 times out of 10. Smile and just be the serious/straight guy.
>I have kind of long hair but I keep it out of my eyes.
As long as it's very clean and it doesn't...
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I've been seeing the same Psychiatrist for like 5 months now. I see her every week for therapy and she gives me prescriptions and all that shit. She's a really nice woman, but lately she's been acting much more suggestive than normal to me.

Whenever I see her lately she'll touch me much more often now. She never touched me before but now she'll touch my hands, place her hand on my thigh and rub it, and other shit. It's so jarring because she never touched so now it seems so much more intimate, it throws me off.

That alone I could chalk it up to being friendly and just trying to be supportive, and I did. I didn't assume anything right away. Then she gave me her personal phone number like a few weeks ago, she told me she's available to talk to me whenever I want. I've been seeing this woman for 5 months and she's just now giving me this, it's bizarre. Whenever I needed to contact her, I would call her at her work number. There's no real need for me to have this except for if she just wants to talk to me.

Even so, I still wasn't convinced. What threw me over the edge is I was talking to her about relationships and women. She started asking me what kind of girl I liked and it was so weird because it wasn't really relevant but I humored her. As I was telling her she was just staring at me and biting her lips, it made me kind of uncomfortable honestly. She's not ugly or anything but I'm in a fucking therapy session right now. She places her hand on my thigh as I'm talking and looking intently at me in a suggestive manner. She could sense how uncomfortable I was though and she wrapped up the session but she said before I left "If you need anything (noticeable emphasis on anything) at all, please call me. I'm always here for you." and left it that.

Does my therapist want to bang me? Should I change therapists? It's become so abnormal now with her, this is nothing like it was before. It felt so neutral and professional, the sexual tension has ramped up 1000x.
25 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598723
Shes probably testing out new therapy techniques shes recently learned.
Also why dont you bang her
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>>17598723
cool
>>
Report her, that's very inappropriate.

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This is something that has been weighing on me, as someone who likes to do the right thing. A month ago I got together with my wonderful boyfriend, and he has been perfect in every way/shape/form. I'm so much happier now that I met him.

There's just one issue.

He isn't that big erect (4.5 to 5 inches) and when he's on top of me and we're having sex, it can feel kind of uncomfortable for me because he has to like mega push his hips against my thighs. It can get painful. So we've mainly been doing it with me on top. Only thing is this gets boring and I like changing positions after some time. I love being penetrated so I wish we could do it with him on top more

We are each other's second sexual partner. So inexperience plays a part too. But is there anything we can read or watch or brush up on to get better?
11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598703
Tell him to wear a penis extender
>>
Put a pillow under your ass, and just have him try to maneuver inside you in a couple different positions and from different starting points. Can't really explain over text
>>
Cuck him

is this the only balding solution?

it's starting to go
how do I fix this?
30 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598694

you can slow it down tih things like keroniq and hair growth pills and such, but yeah, hair transplants are the only way to go after the fact.

i honestly already have 1000 saved up for my eventual hair tarnsplant.
>>
I look uglier bald/shaved but I actually like it now

I stopped giving a fuck at 27
>>
>>17598694
what's the rate for hair loss after transplant ?

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Hey /adv/

I just recently transferred to a large university, where I have to park very far from my classes and shuttle in. I'm a medical marijuana patient, and I typically smoke in my car and leave my stuff in my car. This isn't going to work because of the distance.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep my pipe from smelling like weed? Obviously cleaning it regularly will reduce the smell. I have an airtight container for my weed that doesn't smell, so that's not a problem.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Burn incense. People will assume the only reason you're burning incense is to get rid of weed smell but they can't do anything about it.
>>
Zip yourself up in a sleeping bag and hot box your self
>>
To clarify, I want to keep the smell of my pipe from permeating out of my closed backpack when I'm in class or on the shuttle.

Please, adv, tell me your opinion on this:
>female 18, never relationship ever
Is it okay to
>lose virginity to a friend
>have casual sex with male friends
>have open relationship from his side

It is mostly hypothetical, i need to decide whether dreaming about it is hopeless or completely hopeless.

Does fucking an escort help a female stop sexual fantasies?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17598627

No.
No.
Up to you. (Unclear what you meant, sounds like you have a boyfriend who gets to fuck whoever he wants?)
>>
>>17598637
Yeah, that was it, thanks

What about the escort part?
>>
>>17598643

I doubt it would help you.

Just go for a normal relationship.

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I'm a kv male in his early 20s and have no friends...but the thing is I don't want anything of that nature. How do I let others know that I don't want to hang out with them and let girls know I'm not interested in them and be able to convince them that I'm not just putting up a defensive wall?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Don't leave the basement and have mommy bring you tendies.
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>>17598626

It's fine, they already don't care.
>>
>>17598629
>>17598631
Now that we've got the inevitable meme answers out of the way any real advice?

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>Fresh 19 year old; fairly eccentric
>Have a good friend we'll name him Arnold
>Hang out with Arnold last week around 4-9pm
>Notice at around 6:40 this qt3.14 Slavic beauty approaches us
>"Oh hey I had forgotten to tell anon about you this is Beth"
>"Er glad to meet you"
>We all hang out for the remaining time
>Arnold...
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>>17598604
Cont

>Alfred take a good 4 hours to read my message
>"LOL FUCK"
>"wut? What's so funny?"
>"M8 that's my gf"
>immediately feel betrayed somewhat
>explain to him that it was a fucking week that had passed since I spoke to her and he hadn't told me this
>"Sorry...
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Dude you've met her once? Come on man. Shouldn't be that hard to get over.

Your friend already knows you like her so I'm not sure what can happen to ruin the relationship, she's his girlfriend not yours. Unless you ask her out for some reason, for which I can see none, you'll just get rejected and lose a friend.

All she fucking did was smile at you.
>>
>>17598617
Lol you are such a faggot op.

You just met her once broham, lay off the sperg juice

The more I research about this the least I understand about it.

As I posted somewhere else, I'm a very pleasing guy, and the more attached I grow to a person the more I want to please them somehow. For example, there's a not-so-close friend I have, and I'm helping him with college stuff. His appreciation and the fact I'm actually helping him makes me happy. And when it comes to girlfriends, I love to be able to make them happy.

Let us focus on relationships. In return I ask for very little. Appreciation, love, loyalty, and to be accepted. Nothing...
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>>17598584

Not a lot of people want to date a sycophant. Yes the answer is you have to get some confidence because the key is to not be crushed when things don't go your way.

Ask someone on a date, if they say no, then it's not a big deal. They're not the only person on the planet. If a date doesn't go well, then whatever, you'll go on another one. If someone doesn't respond to your texts then cool, it's a sign you don't have to put any more time into it. If someone is cold...
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>>17598584
>I'm 27, if that's of any help.
Stop thinking about shit like that and continue your wizard studies.
No, seriously, women want a man to make the first step and men are to shy to do that. What follows is no relationship, that's simple logic. The problem with people nowadays is that most of them think, approaching the different gender is a confession or something like that, nobody even thinks about talking or even making platonic relationships.
>>
>>17598584
>Everything ends up being a big strategy game
that is centered around one idea, and people don't over think. their actions comes off naturally and they also "enjoy the moment".
this "enjoying the moment" can be noticed in most of your interactions with other people on the internet, although it tends to be weaker than real life interactions because of the lack of body language and tone.
if you can't "enjoy the moment", you are frying your...
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I'm wondering what the most painless way to die is since I really want to kill myself.
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Try Google. I'm sure a lot of people have wanted to know this, it's nothing special.
>>
>>17598532
Anyone have a detailed article or is a botanist? How do you die from sleeping with night flowers? is it more painless than helium?
>>
>>17598532
Sleeping pills, i guess

Try NoFap before you try to kys

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My girl can only orgasm if she's on top and even then it's not all the time. How do I make her orgasm in other positions? I have no idea when to speed up or when to thrust harder without ruining the rhythm and ruining the buildup. I have heard of the coital alignment method where you just go slow but I can;t find any videos on how to position and move in that way
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>>17598518
It was the same for me - it was the angle we had when he was on top, hit me in all the right places.
Right now I put a pillow under the butt and sometimes my legs on his shoulders and I cum every time.
Another thing that helped was actually telling him when I wanted to speed up or slow down or what to do. Much easier than making him guess.
>>
>>17598530
>>17598530
she does tell me to go fast or thrust harder but it just makes her moan loudly for a few or so before it dies down again without her orgasming
>>
Just fiddle the clit before or after. Problem solved.

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Brotip: When a woman is being irrational, tell it to her face honestly.

It'll give her a chance to calm down and re-assess the situation.
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>implying a hysterical woman will stop and rationally consider her actions/situation

This is how I know that you're stupid IRL.
>>
>>17598648

You're being irrational.
>>
>>17598648
This.

There is no way to stop the utter madness of an upset woman. Furthermore if you highline her logical inconsistency this will be taken as a provoke and the situation will get worse and worse.

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What am I supposed to do if I can't connect with anyone?

I can't make friends, I can't keep friends, I can't find a date, I'll never get a bf.

I don't know how to keep somebody's interest.

I try so hard at talking to people, I'm super nice and always am interested in their lives, but they don't end up liking me...

I don't want to be alone forever... what am I supposed to do?

Not a girl btw.
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>>17598476
Grindr, it's that easy
>>
>>17598476
Discover your alter ego and suddenly become a 10/10 suave motherfucker who bangs all the boys and girls in the courtyard.

Everyone will look up at you and say "Goddamn, is this person even real. No way someone can be that charming and amazing".

Then you wake up that even now in 2016 there is no cure for autism and stupidity. Sorry mate.

Hey, you should write a sappy book about how horrible it is to lose your humanity and feel like a robot.
You should also promote baby killing and...
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>>17598528
Grindr is only good for sex. I rarely get messages on there anyways.

Maybe I should just go ahead and have sex with anyone that shows interest though.

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So, I'm supposed to be thrown on Cymbalta 60mg twice pr. day.
Only problem is, these capsules are humongous. I can't even swallow anything half that size.
Since they're of the "hard gastro-resistant" type capsule, I assume that means I can't open the capsules and just swallow the content at all, and I've basically just thrown $45 on meds I'll never be able to use?
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>>17598472
You can swallow it, you're just too much of a wuss to try, physiologically speaking, my mouth is quite small on the inside, but ive never had an issue with this sort of thing
>>
>>17598534
Well, last time I tried a capsule that was a tad smaller than this, I nearly died. So, no, I won't try swallowing it.
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>>17598540

Unless you have a significant swallowing disorder, your failure was mental rather than physical.

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Is it worth trying to date a guy I am not like "hot" for?

Is it inconsiderate to try dating him while I'm unsure how I feel about him sexually? Should I talk to him about this?

I have been friends with a guy for a very long time who has always loved me, always put up with my shit, always forgave me for friend zoning him, in general treats me better than any other guy, despite me not treating him so well. The problem is I'm not like, super attracted to him. A lot of the things I didn't like about him (personality/lifestyle-wise), he changed for me. It is amazing when I think how much he's done for me and never stopped caring about me. He is also a super nice guy, everyone likes him, and he is even kind of famous in some online communities.

I feel like giving him a chance because of how much he's done for me. I wonder if I give it a chance, if I will grow more attracted to him. We kind of hung out in a dating like way for the first time, and I was surprised how comfortable I was, although I wasn't like lunging for his dick or anything. It made me want to try dating him, but I'm still not sure if I want a sexual relationship with him or not.
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>>17598451
My mantra in life is "fuck it"

Just try it

Hell, it sounds like itd be easier to straight up tell him, "hey so like, ive been having these thoughts see, but im not entirely sure what to make of them, so i think we should try dating" personally, i'd find it interesting if a girl tried to start a relationship with me this way
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>>17598451

Probably not, but you're on 4chan, a Mecca for guys who are bitter and lonely and think women that won't "give them a chance" are sluts and whores.

In my experience (as a guy), trying to force attraction to someone when you know you're just not is already a losing battle. This guy sounds decent enough, but let's be honest - once you're in a relationship for a few months or whatever, some attractive dude is going to enter your life and all of the forced sex with your "nice"...
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>>17598451
kek yes let him hit it

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I have read the /fit/ sticky and know what I am supposed to be doing, but for about 2 years now I keep overeating and taking the bus. HOW do I keep to a routine and condition myself in order to lose about 50 pounds?
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>>17598439
>I keep overeating and taking the bus

I dunno about this one scoob
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>>17598439

You just do. Either you utilize discipline or you don't.
>>
You just do it. Idk what to tell you. I'm strict on the gym schedule, but with school and work i always put things off to last minute. Maybe figure out why you overeat. If there is an emotional trigger or you eat to mask bad feelings or something like that. Good luck, and don't beat yourself up for failing.

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college advice general /thread
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>>17598419
Sex is most accessable at this stage in life, this is your best, but possibly last chance, virgins.
>>
Where you go is massively less important than what you do when you're there.
>>
Women only lower your credit and your grades.

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>Be me
>20yo male, 1,68m 70kg (5'6'' 154lbs, I believe?)
>Go to gym with uncle and cousin
>We work out and it's fucking brutal
>Fuck it, it's on
>Finish workout, I feel emptied of all energy but satisfied and happy
>As we're heading out, the receptionist asks us if we'd be interested in taking up any courses there

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>>17598418
>Tfw my uncle is a gym-nut
>Tfw I've just cleared what I can easily call the most intense workout of my life
>Tfw this guy wants me to go for another hour on top of the hour and half I've already done
>Can't go back now, so I get in the fucking line with the rest of the people there
>I hear giggling
>We start running...
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>>17598418
>1.68
When will they learn
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>>17598438
Fuck off, mate.

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Why does my archivements, successes and noticiable improvements barely get a single dopamine drop from my mind, but the slightest, smallest mistake feels 10 times worse than what it is?
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>>17598404
it's a perfectionists point of view, everything SHOULD transpire as you plan them out to be, but the slightest mistake haunts you for awhile

I'm the same way, you just need to accomplish bigger and better things to wipe away the mistakes (that's what I do anyway)
>>
>>17598404
examples:
>take an accounting exam
>get 3 questions wrong, get a 94
>feel shitty about the mistakes
>next exam rolls around
>studied for 5 days straight
>memorize every formula to the T
>get 100
>94 feels less like a disappointment
>>
>>17598440
Mine would be something like that.
>do exam
>get 100
>meh, might get a subway to comemorate or something
>study hard for next one
>get 96
>feel like a Goddammed dissapointment, feel all my effort was wasted
>completely forget the 100, the 96 feels much bigger influence-wise than the 100

...
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My mother is getting impatient with me getting a minimum wage job, apparently she believes I'll be really happy working 8 hours a day for 500 dollars.(actually she'll be happy to see me working and not see my face for 8 hours). Money which she bullshits me that I'll use to upgrade my PC(which I don't even want, I'm not that shallow).
All the money I've had from my grandma, online sales, etc were spent on clothes and food which I never asked for and taxes.

Now I am getting rather good at bitcoin trading and online money making(ad sense,...
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I didn't even get to the good part. I never asked to live, originally I intended to die back in 2014.
I wrote a very personal journal with all my thoughts and feelings, but I think my mother will flip out like a moron like always and won't understand a thing I said or won't know what to do in conclusion.
She's bullshitting me now with crap like "I've never called you, so I can motivate you to learn. Still love you bye" She's become very shallow, hypocritical and bipolar lately. She won't open to me with any of her thoughts and...
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>>17598385
Ah life is but a series of choices eh mah boi?

Usually the happiest option provides the happiest results, option 3 is the obvious choice for any man with a destination in mind, otherwise, you will go nowhere
>>
>bump


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