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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 34. page
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Starting to think I would be better off dead. I'm 25 and live with my mother. I have psychosis which pretty much pushes away everyone that even attempts to be involved with me. I recently found out I contracted an STD by having sex with someone I don't care about again. I'm fat, insane, diseased, and generally pretty worthless. Just want to die.

Pic related. It's me being a fat POS.
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>>17828917
Methinks this is bait
>>
Nah you are very beautiful OP.

Depending on the STD that can be taken care of.

Its clear you have a ton of depression and other issues so the best thing you can do is get help by seeing a therapist.

Seriously i have huge anxeity issues and some depression. I used to go to the hospital on a regular basis because of panic attacks. But since i started to talk to a therapist shit got easier. It didnt get cured but i havent been to the hospital in almost a year.

You can learn to manage it and live with the issues you have. We all have them. I am fucked...
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go2church bruh
is gud

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I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2 months. She's fucking brilliant. Hilarious. Caring. Beautiful. Understanding. All that. She really is a winner. I love her positive attitude.

But there's a problem, she shares a lot of music similarities as my flatmate / best friend and we're all pretty obsessed with music. But I'm into a completely different spectrum of shit.

Now I wouldn't mind really as I'm pretty open minded, and she does make the effort to enjoy the stuff I listen to and vice versa. my best friend has never really...
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Yeah dump your gf and keep taking drugs and listening to your shitty music. You sound like a real winner.
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>>17828927
i was thinking of quitting drugs to be honest cause its just fucking my head up.
we all take drugs.
>>
Plus I just can't get the thought out of my head that she should really be with him? what the fuck is wrong with me

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>be me, high-functioning aspie
>am talking to coworker, and things are going good. lots of smiling, laughing, etc, etc.
>after work, ask her out
>'you busy next weekend? I mean, if you wanted to get coffee or something.'
>she says she's busy with church stuff

alright, it's cool. I took her word for it, but I realize that was probably a gentle 'no', which I'm ok with.

Here's...
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Don't shit where you eat.
>>
Yea
She's gonna go to hr claiming you sexually harassed her soon

Leave country asap
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>>17828864

Hope you learned your lesson. Wait for actual signs of attraction next time.

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Okay b so I'm getting real close to this girl who has a kid. She's 20 with a 5 year old and I'm 19. I've never thought of having kids at an early age but the way I see it, I wouldn't have to deal with the toddler/baby bullshit. She makes me happy and we both agreed to take it real slow. What would you do?
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>>17828828

id enjoy it while it lasts, but at 20 years old i wouldn't expect it to go anywhere. if she makes it clear shes aiming for a provider, duck out early. but if she already has a big support system (something normal if you were pregnant at 15) and is basically dating around, just enjoy it while it lasts.

just try not to get too close to the kid.
>>
Run as far away as possible
Probably fuck her once to get it out of my system
Fuck raising a kid before 25 let alone someone else's kid with a bitch that got knocked up at 15
>>
I've made it clear that it'd have to be atleast a few years(if it even lasts that long)before I even start thinking about trying to help. She's raised him mainly by herself so its not like she's looking for a dad now.

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I've known this girl for about 4 years now, and at first, we hit it off; we talked about everything you can possibly imagine together. We were best friends. But just recently, she broke my trust by lying to me; she said she was going to deactivate her Facebook account, and I ended up finding out she blocked me instead. This is the same girl that has slept with 5 different guys behind her boyfriend's back, one of them being her own boyfriend's brother. She even told me that the boyfriend's brother has a bigger dick than her boyfriend, and that he fucks better...
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>>17828824

>Should I even bother with this slut anymore?

You wanna date her? Hahahahahahahagahagahahahahagagagagagagagaggsgdjkcifidosofjjxd

Even if you could (you can't) she sounds awful. Also, you sound underage. Fuck off.
>>
you know the answer.
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>>17828824
She blocked you, that's a cowards eating of saying no I'm not interested

You have no option lol

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My girlfriend has lots of "just friends" that are male.

As a guy, every female friend I have ever had in the past was on my would fuck list.

My gf has male friends who constantly give her stuff and tell her she's pretty, and act kinda clingy with her.


Example-- gave her some hickeys...one "just friend" made it known he doesn't like it when she has them.

Is it really possible for a girl to have guy friends who don't really want to fuck them?
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>constantly give her stuff and tell her she's pretty, and act kinda clingy with her.
>my girlfriend


Dude you're the hugest fucking beta cuck I ever saw on this site
>>
>Example-- gave her some hickeys...one "just friend" made it known he doesn't like it when she has them.
LOL
Tell him to fuck off
>>
Unless they are gay or she's ugly as fuck probably not

But that doesn't mean they will fuck her

It's especially true with anyone below 30

My girlfriend lost 100 followers on Instagram when she posted a photo of us together kek

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I believe that I've come a long way in carrying myself with confidence and dignity, and people--both men and women--are drawn to that. The problem is whenever I start to have attraction to a woman or her to me, I lose my shit and revert back into needy beta mode. I start grinning like a fucking retard around her, wanting to do things for her and being all-around too available.

This puts the brakes on budding relationships and I end up feeling rejected, then depressed, then confident again, when my hormones settle and I go back to being my base level self. How can...
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This sounds absolutely like me
Question seconded.
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>>17828797

stop focusing so much on what you're doing right or wrong.

put it this way: a woman is only worth dating if shes actually into you. putting on an act of not being interested to make her interested would only make her interested in a fraud.

but the truth is this isnt whats breaking the relationship. you arep robably not actually making moves. like you set the playing field and flirt and introduce, but how many times have you said
>great, its a date

and...
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>>17828797
>being all-around too available

"Too available" and "smothering "are not the same. Be open, be available, but don't be needy.

As to what to do, relax. It sounds dumb, but it's all we can say.

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>be sorta-dumpy dude
>great personality, so lots of friends
>no gf tho
>go to poetry event
>hit it off with this girl
>afterwards she friends me on Facebook
>we start talking
>like, a lot
>far as I can surmise, she's had a crush on me for a long-ass time
>like,...
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Ah you probably will but fuck it that's life. She already likes you, I believe in you

Most advice will probably just make you more self conscious
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>>17828796
She has a crush on you. She likes who you are. What to do? Simple. Go have coffee. Be yourself. Done
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>>17828796

The relationships I've had that began with the girl approaching me were by far the most stable and fulfilling, and lasted the longest.

Especially if she had to wait because I was with another girl, or if she thought multiple girls liked me at the time, or if she felt insecure or inferior to me somehow.

She's already decided that you are high-value from her perspective and that she likes you as potential dating material. This will shape her perceptions of you from this point forward. She will interpret things you do in a more favorable light than some other random girl would, 'cute' instead of 'awkward', 'motivated' instead of 'creepy'/'tryhard', 'committed' instead of 'desperate', etc.

Girls rationalize their perceptions to match up with their preconceived notions. They use backward bullshit logic and rely too heavily on their intense emotions and care to an enormous degree about what their friends think and how healthy all of their social relationships are.

So she's already decided you're good. You *can* still fuck up if you manage to do enough dumb/flaky/beta/weak shit that it ends up actually changing her concept of you. But short of that, you're good.

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My younger brother told me he tried to commit suicide 2 weeks ago. He's only 20. He was really drunk and said his life sucks. He flipped out and told everyone to fuck off and went to bed so I didn't get a chance to finish the conversation.

The next day I had to go back to my apartment, 2hrs away. He won't answer my texts. I'm gonna call him tonight, after work. Besides the personal stuff I'll share with him, and the wtf is your problem be grateful for what you have and thankful you're not starving in Ethiopia! Are there any good quotes or...
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>>17828715
You sure he isnt dead already if hes not answering... fuck, OP
>>
explain it to him in an understanding tone and listen to him. it seems like you don't even know what is wrong with him
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>>17828715
You have a warped view of how depression works

Read up on it first and then instead of talking try listening. He obviously has some shit to say

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Ive been sitting on my bed and noticed the stains. I just washed my sheets last night and I really need to go to the store for groceries but don't have time to shower or wash the bedding. is this at all dangerous if I dont wash them until tomorrow? just a few small spots and a bit on my pillow case.
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Nah it's not dangerous
It'll probably stain though
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>>17828650
Make sure it isn't actually bed bugs.
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>>17828697
nah its from the cuts on my hands. they are extremely dry from too much hnadwashing. I have OCD bad which is why this is making me paranoid

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> working they say
> you get 2" they say
> longer erections they say

fuck this shit. anyone? tried? satisfied? i've a 5" dick, so i feel insecure time to time and search this kind of products. fuck.
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There are countless pictures with rulers and dicks online and reviews

It works
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>>17828632
My local sex shop sells the original Hercules for $170.90 I believe. It's worth the investment, considering there's plenty of pills and other shit on the market that doesn't work. But this does. I'll be investing in one shortly, mine is only 6 rock hard. I want to join the 8 inch club.
>>
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Not those, but this one, yes.

My tips. Cut a sock in half and pack it into the botton of the tube for faster girth. Lubricate the rubber area before inserting penis. Also, do not add water or get water in it for any reason, use a damp rag or something to clean the inside. It can be extremely painful as the penis expands, if you have vaseline, that may help.

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i've started to see myself and the world around me with fresh eyes and i realised that i'm extremely pathetic in social situations

i often don't realise when people are joking or whether i'm being laughed at or with when i say something
i'm slow to process things people are saying and would sometimes agree to something without realising what's actually been said
people would say things about me and i'd just nervously smile or give a default reply
i don't feel like i have things to say but just don't say them although...
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It gets easier over time through exposure

It's like playing that boshy game
You just gotta brute force through it until you beat it
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>>17828506
both paths are fine. not having proper social skills will lock you out of many potential cool experiences, but you sure can live without them.

your call weather you think its worth your time and the pain of failure early on.
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>>17828506
You're going to be massively disadvantaged at life without social skills, especially if you don't have another crazy developed talent to balance it out. Hence it's better to learn the basics.

>be 19
>go on online dating
>meet girl 18, has twin sister
>hangout a lot for a month and become bf/gf
>my first gf her 4th bf (had 3 in HS but not too long or serious)
>studies engineering at neighboring uni
>kinda poor so she lives at home; my family well off so i live on campus
>hangout a lot at my dorm during semester

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>doesn't like to talk about our former relationship but said sex wasn't good and i was too pushy about it
>says she never wants to have sex with me again (she has said that before during our relationship but we ended up doing it again)
>she is very depressed right now and shuts me out

I need some extreme help to win her back. We were together for almost 2.5 years. I am 22 and she is 21 now. I know ill never find another amazing woman like her. She keeps saying it's...
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>>17828503
>I was a giant idiot.
no you aren't, focusing on your job and studies was the right choice more women will appear in the future and she sounded like she was interested on another man and got bored of you.
>>
>>17828503
Let it go
Trust me bro
It hurts but it's what truly best for you

Or get with her twin sister ayeeeee

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Say you hit it raw in the middle of May this year. Would she be 7 months pregnant now? The time seems off to me

>Went to the Philippines
>Get eye fucked all day, errday
>Fucked some bitches raw dog because I ran out of condoms and girls over there craves white dick
>did my best to pull out
>two bitches claims to be knocked up
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In another country and they probably fuck 10 people a month who cares
>>
The jap is the only guy that doesn't like a faggot.
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>>17828530
He looks like a pretty chill guy, would hang out with him lol.

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Hey /adv/, 29/M/Straight here, technically a virgin.

I'll try to be brief (I will probably not be brief): normally I'm not shy tho I've only been in one relationship (back in HS but we were never intimate--I grew up in a small town in Mexico so it happens).

Anyway in college I had some one night stands and found it difficult to get or mantain an erection. Sometimes I was drunk but sometimes I wasn't.

Then after college I've had a few one night stands more and have also tried with a few prostitutes but still nada.

I don't...
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Try the easy way: stop masturbating.

Use your sexual Try the easy way: stop masturbating.

Use your sexual energy to find compassion and understanding.energy to find compassion and understanding.
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>>17828473
How will never masturbating help me?

I mean it's not like I spend all day long beating it, I just wanted to say my libido is normal.
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>>17828497
It's not about the semen (I guess) or about the sexual hormones. It's about the neural pathways and dopamine and serotonin in your brain.

It's the same reason a person who tries to trip on LSD too many times in a month or so, will have bad trips progressively worse, and be a zombie in it's waking life. Serotonin specially affects how you literally perceive reality around you.

Excess use of serotonin will overload your neurons capacity to "understand" it for a couple of weeks.

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How do you develop self-esteem when you're not good at anything, not an easy learner, not interested in anything, not particularly loved by friends and family and completely subpar for a potential romantic partner?
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>>17828404
Get good at something

Everyone can be good at something
Everyone
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>>17828412
What's the easiest thing for someone stupid to get good at?
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>>17828412
I have a bad handwriting and at school I was as atrocious at knitting as I was in math.

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What do I get a girl that likes to travel, go to live music, and work out at the gym? I'm terrible with gifts.
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get her a private jet, a concert venue, and a home-gym set
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>>17828319

you can get her new gear, clothes, a gift card for her membership, tickets to a concert, or tickets for travel. it depends on the context.

people are more cohesive than that and a lot of what we need or want has nothing to do with our interests.

i want curtains. and a new router. and a spice rack. most people have a small list of things they 'need' for around the house, and some of them are decorative so it feels more sentimental.
>>
>>17828319
Gig em Aggies

Also, catch this anon at the Richard Spencer protests. I wanted to go to the actual speech but I don't want to look like a racist.

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I've never had a girlfriend or been "just friends" before, so all this is uncharted territory for me

I really like this one girl, I know for a fact she's single, and we've hung out twice now
She's said we need to do it more and for longer, and in the middle of the day when its not so cold

Positive signs:
Playing with hair, laughing constantly, maintaining eye contact, staying close to me, being fine with being one on one, sharing marina sauce, making an EXTREMELY sexual joke about herself and hinting at being a masochist
Later on I texted her making my own sexual joke building off her earlier one and she reacted positively
Signs that worry me:
Haven't done anything beyond hug yet, I wanted to hand hold the 2nd time but it was so fucking cold out she had her hands tucked in the entire time, removed hands once inside
Sat on other end of table from me rather than right next to me (huge table)
Has agreed to hang out with me again on X day and listen to music but hasn't confirmed or denied whether her room mates will be fine with the music
She did respond within a minute to another text later one about something un related enthusiastically and with two texts back to back


She's also always really just enthusiastic and chipper with all her texts
How does a girl decide if a guy is a potential boyfriend vs just a friend if she is single?

I know beta orbiting is a one way ticket to friend town but I haven't done that
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Also I know she is a really geeky shy freshman if that factors in at all

Still a qt 3.14 though
>>
>>17828264
You know who doesn't know the answer to this question? Us. People just reading your wall of text.


You know who might? Her.


Just nut up, ask her on a date. Now. This second. Don't waste time and realize you're a friend later, move now and create the situation you want
>>
Just have fun with her, you are very lucky I think she is very interested in you. Be confident and you will have to be the one that kisses her one day, she won't take the initiative. Insinuate to her and keep having good times, eventually you will find the right moment to act. Don't worry about those 'negative signs', you will be fine. Just remember that if you don't take the initiative she won't do shit and you'll end up being her friend

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Welp, got rejected for a job today in the final round due to psych tests. Simply put, I show very little empathy. I don't doubt the test results, nor is this new to me.

Is there a way I can improve my ability to understand the feelings of others or am I screwed?
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>>17828236
You should just lie on the tests but a good way of increasing empathy is through meditation

You calm your own mind and others people reactions "get louder" you start noticing every little tick people have that convey emotions and you start to care more

I had problems with this before and this helped me the most
Also just practicing placing yourself in other people's shoes and figuring out how they might feel throughout the day
>>
>>17828236
Well, it depends whether you're just socially retarded or it's actually a psychological problem.

Why do you have trouble with empathy?
>>
>>17828249
>lie on tests

No thank you. Your other suggestion appeals to me, though.

Got a good website or book on the topic?

>>17828259

Probably because of a sense of self-preservation. Rough childhood/teenage years. It's tough opening up under duress. It's even tougher when you have to consider other people's feelings too.

I resolved my personal issues, but it seems it has left its mark when interacting...
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It's important to note before we jump into this, I'm 30 years old, own my own home and car, and make good money. I'm not some kid, but my mom is causing a problem.

The story: I've been with my company for two years. You'd all probably know it if I said it, it's been a tremendous opportunity and I like the people. But a bunch of people have been fired or have quit, and senior management just decided to merge my team into another, change my job title, and asked us all to cross-train each other on responsibilities at the busiest time of the...
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Tell your mom to fuck off. She sounds like an awful person. I'd
Disown my own mom if she even did half the the stuff your mom is saying.
>>
>>17828221
If this isn't b8, your mum is a fucking mental case and you shouldn't even be talking to her, let alone taking advice from her. Get her into a psych ward.
>>
>that my happiness doesn't matter. She's threatening to divorce my dad and take half of his things if I do this, along with vandalizing my home and my car. (She has stolen my car once in the past.)
Holy fuck what, why isnt she in a mental hospital?

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how the fuck do you get yourself to stop thinking/worrying about something that you know shouldn't matter? what kinds of things do you tell yourself to get to a place where you can emotionally deal with something that you're upset that you can't change, but logically you know shouldn't impede your ability to carry on with your life?
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>>17828182
>what kinds of things do you tell yourself
Fucking nothing.

Once you're absolutely sure that the situation can't change and realize what went wrong, you stop thinking about it, shit simply doesn't exist anymore ... easiest way to do it, would be to think about important things in the future/present.
>>
>>17828182
Realize existence is in the breath
>>
Let go.
The more you cling to a problem to "figure it out" the tighter your grip and anxiety on that problem will be.

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A woman friend zoned me. I have never cared about someone so much. She was perfect. At least to me. I have known her for 5 years.

5 years of hoping she would see how much I like her. I told her multiple times.

4 months ago, I cut contact. Now I think about her so frequently it makes me sick. I want to forget her but I still like her. Love her perhaps.

How do you forget? I can't move on. She was perfect for me. Only woman I felt comfortable around. Help.
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>>17828106
Time
And finding someone else honestly helps
>>
>>17828109
I tried dating other girls but I end up just wishing that the girl i am on a date with was a clone of the girl that friend zoned me.

What bugs me more is that I cut contact by not texting or calling. She hasn't texted me once...
>>
>>17828120

I just went through a similar situation. You have to literally convince yourself it's over and done with. That's what I did. I convinced myself it's over forever. I still have feelings for her, and I always feel happy whenever we talk. But I set a mental limit, and a understanding that we are just friends now.

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Why can't i message the one person i want to
I ask myself do i want to do it and my body literally screams YES but end up hiding offline and watching netflix
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Rejection

You're scared of being depressed and its really inevitable anon..

But remember, unless you're the type to kill yourself because of depression, go in for it. The more you get rejected early the more confident you'll be for future revelations
>>
At least you have a debilitation to use as an excuse.

All my attempts over the past years, regardless of new people I meet, go unreplied. Literally. All. Of. Them.
>>
>>17828011

Just tell them you'd like to get to know them more, what are your thoughts on going for a few drinks (or whatever activity you can both do in a non private setting)?

And don't use your words to explain how you feel about them, use your touch, eye contact, facial expressions, and body language.
>I recently learn this the hard way

You will NEVER be happy until you know the answer.

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Should I be concerned that my girlfriend wants me to act like her father most of the time? Not even in a sexual way although there is that too, sometimes she'll be sad and she wants me to hold her and act like she's my daughter and she wants me to act protective of her like a father, not a boyfriend. She calls me daddy all the time and not even in the sexual way, she legitimately acts like I'm her dad most of the time and she wants me to say things like she's my princess and she's daddy's little girl.

It seems to make her happy but isn't...
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>>
Run
>>
DON'T
STICK
IT
IN
CRAZY
>>
>>17827956
you should.

File: 1360555153766.gif (867 KB, 250x188) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Is having sex only in the Missionary Position normal?

My girlfriend and I absolutely prefer the missionary position over all others. It's the most comfortable one for her, and the best one to thrust. Sex is a very laid back thing for us (no pun intended) and we enjoy the comfyness of it.

Any other position we've tried will just make us tired instead of being able to just relax and enjoy the sex.

Give me some /adv/ on new sex positions that allow this and tell me if I should even care.
26 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827952
No, it's fucking weird, kys.
>>
>>17827952
You sound unfit. They are all good, just try them out faggot.
>>
>>17827952
There's a bunch of adapted missionary- like side of the bed, or sideways missionary while both are lying down.
Every vagina is shaped differently, if it feels good for both of you then it's the best position for you two.

File: dayum.png (194 KB, 669x417) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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How do you feel about a person dating their childhood friend?
11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827902
Sounds cool to me

Probably depends on the level of friendship you (i'm assuming you're talking about yourself) had with that person
>>
Indifferent.
Don't understand why should i care.
>>
>>17827902
gay

File: 25158.jpg (22 KB, 350x348) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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This is mainly aimed at fellow femanons.
How do you make female friends? I have a few male ones, but I find it nearly impossible to get on with girls my own age (18) because I find them unbearably asinine, and also very mean (if not to me, then to each other).
18 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827882
Are you still in high school? there is something about HS that makes people continue to act like the 13 year olds they were when they began even when they're four years older.

In the same way, there is something about being in college or on a job, even at 18, that makes you begin to act older. Look around in the right places (the library, for example, rather than a sorority house) and you'll find the more mature females.
>>
>>17827900
Yes, I am still in High School (Australian, so going into the final year next year). Honestly it's been a horrible experience. I though moving schools might help, but it hasn't. And it's not like I can just hang out with university students.

So how do you advise getting through the final year?
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>>17827882
You're just screwed. You are an outlier in your age group, a deviant from the norm. Find older more mature friends to identify with.

I did it now, I just ended a 2 year relationship.

>Get into argument
>She claims how boring the relationship has always been
>Working hard to visit her (different countries)
>Heartbroken, I simply reply "kys"
>She says she'll post my dick pics on normiebook
>Absolute Panic
>Tell all family to delete her
>She...
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>>17827768

>not just saying "k" and walking away
>falling for obvious female b8

females don't know how to be direct so they stage an argument over irrelevant shit to trigger you so they can feel good about themselves afterwards
>>
>caring about your dickpicks being posted

What kind of beta are you?
>>
>>17827787
he prolly has a small one ecks dee

File: my lady.jpg (23 KB, 300x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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how do I know if a girl is not a complete whore/slut?

what are the signals a women has that she hasn't had lots of sexual partners?
303 replies and 17 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827633

You can't know without getting to know her.

There is no way to tell by looking whether a girl has had a lot of sexual partners. It's almost like having had a lot of sexual partners isn't inherently damaging to a person.

I wish you luck in finding a girl whose sexual past doesn't intimidate you, and I wish her luck in avoiding you.
>>
>>17827682
kek another women who thinks betas concern about wanting a pure girl is bad.
keep thinking how society or these guys are bad because they don't want a roastie.

also, nice try to blame and shame betas, I'm sure you never have spend time thinking how hard is to live as a male virgin, how hard is to see how society and your friends see you as a loser and how everyone thinks you're a fucking freak or a loser because you're anormal.
meanwhile a girl can still be a virgin and she would...
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>>17827689

have you tried crying moar?

File: 09825.png (814 KB, 1145x858) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Does anyone here shower with JUST water?

I've been trying it for the past couple of weeks to see if it would help my acne, because every product I've tried (cetaphil, cerave, dove, neutrogena) have been extremely drying to my face. Using just water has improved things a little, but my results seem to have plateau'd, and my skin is still very dry (lots of dead skin flakes on my skin, tight feeling).

Any thoughts or suggestions?
26 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827294
How hot is your water? That's probably more of an issue than the soaps/face washes you were using. Also I hope you moisturise
>>
Oh and yes, I've tried moisturizers, but none of them have helped for longer than a couple of hours, and even the lotions seem to break me out some. So I'd rather avoid them if possible.
>>
>>17827308
I usually shower in warm-hot water. Don't most people, though? I've tried turning it down to lukewarm, and it feels to cold and uncomfortable for me, and always turn it up after a few seconds. I guess I can really commit myself to trying it seriously, though.


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