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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 356. page
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What's your lowest standard(s) of happiness? I mean, what are you willing to do (and do often) that achieves an end result of happiness, be it drugs, eating fast food? Basically something you can personally attain for yourself quickly, that makes you happy. I guess, I'm kinda asking what your vices are, in a way.
18 replies and 5 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Vices don't attain happiness, just pleasure. Usually only physical pleasure.
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>>17583084
Yeah, I guess in this context I was using happiness as a short lived thing, so yeah pleasure, hence why I put the gluttony pic.
>>
Furious masturbation, an Armstrong family technique passed down through the generations!

>tfw you will never be besties with Lust

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pic unrelated.

How do I deal with a gf with a weird fetish that I'm really not comfortable fulfilling? She's got a great personality, and the sex is good for me, but she says she won't enjoy it until I step on her. I'm like 260 pounds and she's like 100, and she wants me to stand on her.

I tried stepping on her back a bit, and I could feel her bones popping under me. She wants me to stand on her chest and her face, but honestly I'm afraid of killing her.

I don't know what to do.
10 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Don't do that

that is retarded

let someone else step on her
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>>17583031
Just step on her
She won't break
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lmao, fucking do it

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So, I was on my first date at a club and my date asked a guy if he would grind on her, obviously he said yes and I stood there a like a cuck, eventually they stopped and we started dancing again and she asked the guy again. I said fuck it and left. I can't get over her. What do I do?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17583011
Sounds like you did exactly the right thing. There's nothing to do for her, just try and get a date with someone else.
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>>17583021
It's just I have to see her everyday, in classes and theatre. And we have a lot of mutual friends. Should I tell them or...?
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>>17583029
Tell them why? Serious, why? Because you think it'll make her look bad? I mean, yeah, it might, but it'll also make you look whiny and petty.

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FINALLY A GIRL TOLD ME WHY THEY FRIENDZONE ME.

she told me all girls say they want a blue prince, but what they really want is a bad boy.

I'm nice guy, a little nerdy and I always try to do the correct thing. so, I don't know how to become a bad boy, or what makes a boy look bad.

please, post tips about how to change. I really want to change my personality. these tips will help us all.
20 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17583008

Hahahahaha. Do you want them to stop "friendzoning" you?

Grow some balls. This proposition is pathetic.
>>
>she told me all girls say they want a blue prince, but what they really want is a bad boy.

This is true for high schoolers.
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>>17583008

>she told me all girls say they want a blue prince, but what they really want is a bad boy.

Stay tuned for another exciting episode of "Things That Never Happened."

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>have sex without a condom
>didn't cum in her

what are my odds this girl gets pregnant? She is suppose to have her period next week.
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bamp for classic question
>>
Use google faggot
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>>17583007
Pretty low senpai. It's theorized that precum can contain sperm but if you urinated between the last time you ejaculated and when you had sex you're probably good.

Seriously I've pulled out a lot, usually while drunk, and I have yet to get anybody pregnant.

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I'm in a somewhat difficult position. I'm an awkward guy with semi self confidence issues. I tend to usually feel that if a woman in attracted to me that I'm probably not good for them. And when certain ones give me the slightest amount of attention, I tend to somewhat develop feelings for them.
Anyhow, at work there's this girl I work with, who is affiliated with us but employed with another company. She's positive, adorable, vibrant and full of life; a genuine person. Almost the polar opposite of me but someone that would be good for me.
We get...
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8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582972

>Carry on the friendship and bottle these feelings? Or is it worth the risk of asking her out even though this could blow up in my face again?

Every time you ask a girl out you're risking the chance of her saying no.

There is no way around that.

Weigh your options. Make your choice.
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>>17582972
>Carry on the friendship

No

>ask her out
Yes

>dating at work
If she's employed by another company, do it. Just make sure this doesn't conflict with work and make you risk losing your job.
>>
>>17582972

If you feel she is gonna say "yes", risk it. But remember it's a risk, she can say "no".

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How do we get her to see that she's not okay? https://youtu.be/uKb2ipnsKC0
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We need to save her
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She probably is past the point of no return.
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>>17582959

>How do we

>we


WE don't do anything. YOU can obsess over meddling in the lives of mentally disturbed youtube girls if you want. The rest of us are gonna take a hard pass.

Saged.

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How can I stop being so intimidated by attractive women?
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>>17582892

Describe your situation a bit more, please. Thanks!
>>
>>17582892
stop worrying about what they think about you.
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>>17582904
this. Being relaxed and confident is more than half the battle. Start with less attractive women.

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Pic is with hair tied back. i am a very anxious person and am very afraid of becoming uglier than I already am. Any hair growth tips? I have very long hair and am thinking of getting it cut. I don't think it's genetics, but me just being too rough with it?
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cut it
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You've gotta comb it back before you tie it, moron
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>>17582922
I do brush it. I probably brush it obsessively

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How can you trust a little boy or little girl about the desire of transitioning with everything they are exposed to on television?
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It's a conspiracy, do not trust em.
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>>17582861
>transitioning
As in gender change?

Depending on how old the kid is, I'd refuse to fund any treatments, and not allow any permanent procedures.
If they want to cross dress and present themselves as the opposite sex, that's on them.

I have some first hand experience with this. I knew a girl who had always been a bit different, and in HS she was very androgynous.
Once she turned 18 and we graduated, she changed her name and began hormone therapy. Now he's...
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>>17582861

The same way you trust a child that says he wants to be an astronaut or a cowboy. Its not your responsibility to trust them.

Children cannot make the kinds of decisions as serious as permanent surgery until they reach an age where perspective can properly inform them. Even then, its all kind of a crap shoot but that goes for any serious adult decision, not just transitioning to a different gender.

If a child wants to make a change in their life you take it with a grain of salt, ensure that they...
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>m/35
>newly single

Is there hope for me?
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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christian mingle
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not if you post anime shit
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Did you get divorce?

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>no friends
>not close with family
>no dating/sex life to speak of

How does one build a social life from the ground up?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Join a meet up group based on your interests. Proceed from there.
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>>17582847

I know this sounds weird, but don't go out "looking for people". Just do shit you like and meet them. Don't "try".
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>>17582866
I've been on my own pretty much my whole life, so everything I like doing is solitary.

I met this girl on craigslist about 2 years ago and she was basically close to what I at the time considered perfect.

Anyway, we were supposed to meet up one night, I went to the cafe, waited for her like an idiot all by myself (it was late anyway though no one was there), she never came. She messaged me later and asked if I went and that she was sorry because she assumed I was busy and she went through with other plans. I told her I didn't go. Basically what happened is that I refused to give her my number so we couldn't text and that's how the misunderstanding...
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27 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>No, it's mathematically impossible.

Pretty sure it isn't...
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>>17582851
Factor in all the random variablessed and yes it it. If that was my nightly getting home from work train it would be at least improbable, but it was not. It was in fact the diametric opposite of that. It was probably the most random instance of me hoping on the subway possible. Like I was meant to be there. Supposed to be there.
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>>17582872
Variables*.

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So I know how to talk to girls/keep them interested, but how do I get things to escalate to a sexual level? Examples of how to do so would be great.

I have all the charm but girls aren't notorious for being the ones who make the first move. Either that or I'm horribly autistic when it comes to social cues of when its ok to just go for the kiss.
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>>17582823
how do i differentiate between just a friendly moment or a more romantic/sexual one?
>>
I can think of at least three ways.
1. The traditional way: ask someone on a date, go on dates, don't fuck it up, and eventually fuck.
2. Pick up bar sluts: hit on women at the bar, ask them if they want to go back to your place, fuck
3. Hire a prostitute.
What advice are you looking? This should be obvious shit. I'm not saying it is easy, but still.
>>
>>17582848
Getting them alone with me/hanging out with them is no problem for me. its when I've got them alone and then knowing when the right time is to go for a kiss or something that is the problem.

How do I make things sexual without flat out just pulling my cock out right away? I have no idea what to do in terms of foreplay/when to initiate the foreplay as well

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So I learned that my LD gf just pretended to be in love with me for over a year. She used me, shamed me and she was just mean.

At first I thought I had ED but I realized I only go hard when I watch or read porn about being sexually dominated and enduring slave training. Sometimes I wake up fully erect and wishing to be a woman's sex slave and I start acting erratically. Before her, I was able to watch porn and get an erection. Now I'm almost immune to porn.

The second thing is now I feel completely empty. I no longer enjoy the things that I always loved...
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12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Did you want some advice about anything in particular?
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Get counseling for your sexual addiction bro
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>>17582835
Yeah. Did anybody else experience that? I don't know what going on. I thunk it might have something to do with narcissistic abuse and CPTSD

How do I not fuck up my grades in uni? I've been here for 2 weeks, and I already feel like I'm going to do way below what I was hoping to achieve coming in. I'm tired as fuck every day (thanks to 8:30 classes), my business (accounting part at least) course feels like studying sanskrit or Egyptian heiroglyphics, and my profs are all saying how they're forced to make the class average for first years between 65-70. I figured I'd be able to achieve a 3.7+ if I work hard, but right now I feel like I'd be lucky to hit the 3.0 mark. And this is only first...
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7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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This isn't high school. University has a lot more personal responsibility to it. Don't want to turn up to class? You don't have to. Miss a deadline? No one's going to chase you up about it. The result of this is that you have to make an effort to do the work in your own time. Showing up to class is not going to be enough, you have to do readings, make study notes and flash cards, and in general, learn how you learn.

By the way. 8:30 classes are not early. If you're finding it difficult to turn up to them, you need to get your sleeping pattern sorted.
>>
>>17582812

Thanks for the reply!

Yeah, I've shown up to each class (and sat in the front 3 rows), but I feel like I'm not doing a good job with my readings. Normally, I review after every class by heading straight to the library and reviewing what I just learnt (+ moving things from paper to laptop), but I haven't tried making flash cards yet. I'll try that tomorrow (I'm going to sleep early today)

Back in HS, I would sleep from 11:30-6:30, so I figured that it'd be okay to...
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>>17582834
>moving things from paper to laptop
I did this for a few years, but I've switched to a laptop to take notes because I found that it was wasting time that I could spend doing other stuff. If you trust yourself not to get distracted in class, you could just take your laptop along with you to class to save yourself this time.

Going off that, when you read generic study tips online, don't assume that they're going to work for you. Like I said, learn how you learn....
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Guise wut do. I actually just succesfully went on a second official date with a girl, who I think is pretty into me, and I don't know how to progress it. I wanted to hug her goodbye but didn't get the chance. I don't even know how to decide when a kiss is suitable. We normally hang out in a group of friends, not one on one. What the hell should I do?
26 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582802
go on a third official date
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>>17582805
Oh I will, but how can I incorporate those into it. These are literally my first dates ever and this chick really seems to dig me, plus she's super attractive.
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>>17582802

Have you "made contact" yet? Hugged? Put you arm around her shoulders? Something like that?

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How do I become funny? To put it bluntly, I'm a "nice guy". A boring one. I'm not really witty, don't consider myself funny, and I also consider myself somewhat of an idiot. I'm sort of eccentric which gets some laughs occasionally, but I want an actual sense of humor/the ability to make people laugh.
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>>17582718
Watch/listen comedians
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>>17582718
I think a good starting point is to just be honest and speak your mind, because that can be funny. So, stop being a nice guy and be more upfront and blunt about things. It's kind of hard to explain

Just think of a show like Seinfeld. The characters on the show aren't always trying to be funny. They just say and do things that end up being funny. They way they talk is funny.

A little sarcasm also can be great, but don't overdo it.

And you just need exposure. Watch more TV, movies,...
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>>17582820
This.
Also, how is it to be a funny guy to you? i wasn't funny, but eventually, end up being sarcastic af in the school, and it was good. (cuz helped them with homework after telling him they were ugly/idiots/ whatever)
I won respect, make my humor better etc. Now the funny guy.
Open to share my "skills" ;)

I'm a sex offender, NOT a Felon.
A simple misdemeanor when I was 22, I'm 27 now.
I want to join the Iron Workers Union, or any union really. I've been working for a small excavation company for almost 2 years digging holes and I want a trade. OR to go to college. When I was arrested they gave me an IQ test. I'm 136, four points below genius.
I'd like to do something, I'd like to have a Careerie. But this violent misdemeanor seems to hold me back from literally anything paying more than $15/hour.
What can I do? I was thinking about becoming...
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25 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582707
I'm in the laborer union , honestly its best to meet someone or a company to put you in. Shat exactly did you do ?
>>
get a loan open your own business digging holes or whatever.
>>
start your own business, you're unhireable now

About 2 hours ago, I began receiving threats from this person in a group chat I was in. Now, I told the group a joke and everyone thought it was funny, except the person apparently. She started sending me threats and asking other people in the group for my name, age, and college name. She messaged me threats how "I'm going to disappear" and "You see the news? You're next." and threats like that. Thankfully my friends screenshotted their conversations with this person and I have everything in a file. Should I go to the police station and file a restraining...
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36 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582706
Do you know this person in real life?
Why is she in your group chat?
Have you tried blocking her?

Also a restraining order may be too much, you can call the police if she shows up or something. People like her exist everywhere.
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>>17582996
I've never seen this person, no. Supposedly it's a friend of a friend. I have blocked her, but there's still the threat of her finding me in person.
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>>17582706

Was the joke actually offensive? An apology might be in order.

My girlfriend (it's complicated) has a homosexual drug addict little brother.

He was fiending for drugs so she lied to my mother and said "can i please borrow $20 for gas?" so that she could get him some drugs.

She thinks this little piece of shit is a perfect prince and she'll do anything for him. She can't see how he's an awful influence on her, or how her enabling is bad.
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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bump 4 advice on how to open her eyes
>>
ttt
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>>17582691

1. Accept that he is her brother and regardless of what he's going through she will never give up on him.

2. Encourage her to not enable him without any anger or patronization. She realizes she's enabling him. She realizes he has a problem but she's stuck between a rock on a hard place. Thats how it always goes for people that have loved ones addicted to drugs.

Its important that she stop helping him but also important that the withdrawal of enabling is geared towards helping him...
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I have about 2 hours to lose my virginity at 18 before I turn 19, I fucking hate myself for waiting this long to make a move

I am very socially active/aware of how to talk with people and get them to like me, but I never fully put any of my skills into practice at night except for the last week; the yesterday I almost hooked up with a girl but she had really bad logistics so she had to leave with her friends so I just got her number regretting my decision altogether of not sticking with her till the end.
Right now I can either:


(A) Go to a club pull a girl...
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12 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582661
For one thing, don't bother getting a girlfriend or getting into a relationship. Honestly, random hook ups and hookers are the best way to go... but honestly, getting a fleshlight is the real way to go, if I would have bought a fleshlight a couple years ago I wouldn't have even bothered getting married... pussy is great, whats attached to it is fucking awful.
>>
Christ, why do Americans make such a big deal about losing your virginity as soon as you're 18?
>>
>>17582749
Virgins are ridiculed in the media and real life here. It's not everywhere, but it happens often enough for virgins to get really insecure about it.

I am absolutely miserable... I work a shitty job, my girlfriend is demanding and bitches at me daily, and I honestly feel like killing myself.
Its gone from me thinking about it twice a month, to actually beginning to plan it out.
I guess this is sort of my last cry out for anything I can hold onto, or anything to keep me from doing it...
What is the point in living if you really just want everything to go away.
13 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582613
Change job, dump girlfriend.
Not a huge deal.
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>>17582613
You don't want to die, you just don't want to live that misery. Dump the girlfriend, find another job.

If you're gonna go an hero, at least man up to do it quietly, and making sure they will find out way too late.
>>
Suicide isn't the way to go. I don't know the whole story, but I've felt like this in two relationships.

I spent years with women, in long term relationships. I loved it, but the emotional trauma that occurred over time was depleting my sanity.

I've been single for over a year, because I was attracting toxic people. I loved the feeling of being loved, and that consistency - It's great! But sometimes, the best thing to do is what's beat for you. If this person makes you feel like suicide is your only exit, maybe she should leave. Maybe...
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Do you think it's fair for me to stay with my partner if they don't think I'm beautiful?
Aren't I depriving them of being with someone better looking? If I love them I shouldn't let them settle
21 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Actually you are depriving yourself from being with someone who finds you beautiful.

If however you really do look like the back end of truck maybe you should find happiness in the fact they want to be with you, considerer yourself lucky and stop worrying about.
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>>17582596
I find my boyfriend attractive sexually, but I don't find him handsome like a Greek good.
The point is that I don't care. That he is the best man I know and I hopelessly adore him. I want to grow old with him, I want him to be the father of my kids.
His body is the last thing I care about.
Don't let a small insecurity ruin an overall good relationship.
>>
>>17582596
That honestly depends... are you a burden or chore to be with, or are you someone who actually adds to his life and makes him happy?

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My gf just said she doesn't get wet to pictures of me/me talking dirty.

She said she likes "touch," but that is fucking bullshit because anyone can get wet/aroused with someone else tugging at their genitals, real attraction involves another's image. Also we always have sex with the lights off, which makes me believe she only likes to be touched, and not me at all.

I feel unattractive and generally just like a fucking piece of shit.

Is there any other way to take this?
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>>17582594
>anyone can get wet/aroused with someone else tugging at their genitals

and if I take my big lumberjack hands and started tugging at your genitals, would you get aroused?

you need to get a grip
>>
>>17582612
No, I need to fucking feel like I'm aroused and not a fucking dildo.

Also if I woke up in the morning and random hands were on my dick and lights were off and someone was sucking me off that I couldn't see, probably I'd have a boner, yes, regardless of whom.
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>>17582620
By "aroused" I mean "attractive" btw.

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>>17582591
Cool, but kinda gay pose. Id put my pants over the boots than under, unless its snowing or going through muddy terrain.

Cant wait to break my boots in when its 50° weather
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>>17582598
Suck a dick brah.
>>
>>17582598
Same.

Kinda need a new pair. Only got surplus Tan gortex and some cheap rothco's

Need something a bit nicer

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I have a new job tomorrow , and I know I'm not going to be able to sleep.

Any tips ? Ima go to the gym to do cardio for 30 mins and use the sauna to calm me the fuck down. I can't push in the gym today cuz I do manual labor. I have 4 hours before I have to sleep to get atleast 7 hours of sleep.

Help!!!
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Self bump...
>>
Masturbate furiously for these 3 hours
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>>17582761
Only gets me pumped up.

How do I stop fantazing about idealized anime girls are start interacting with real women
7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17582563

Walk out of your home and interact with them. At first you'll be bad at it. Eventually you'll learn and become better.
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why do you want to?
>>
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>>17582576
can you be more specific "than just do it"?
>>17582577
Look at pretty pictures of 2d girls isn't very satisfying, if anything it just adds to the bitterness of being alone

Are big scars a deal breaker?
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>>17582506
depends where they are, what gender, and how the scars happened
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>>17582506
Scars are sexy as fuck.
>>
>>17582506
The scar honestly doesn't matter. If that's you then 10/10

>me and this girl in my social circle getting really flirty
>lots of physical contact, cuddling, sexual innuendos
>she's sweet, cute, smart, funny. I wanna get to know her better
>our other friends are asking if we're hooking up
>me and her are hanging out and I get the green light to fuck her, but I hesitate in closing the deal because I feel a disturbance in the force
>dont end up fucking
>things still cool with her, in fact she seems to be even hotter for me now since I did that
>later, me and my best friend are hanging out with her
>i start flirting with her, but i can tell it's making her uncomfortable this time. He's uncomfortable too
>notice that she only flirts when he isnt around
>find out that they're a discreet relationship thing
>I don't know all the details, but I'm pretty sure that my friend actually has feelings for her. He refuses to just be straight with me, probably out of embarrassment, I don't know
>Me: "Hey man, you're in love with this chick?"
>Him:" Uh, um, well there's...different types of love...we're just cool with each other, ok? We just wanna keep things discreet"

I've posted this before. I presented the situation one way, and the majority of people said to just go and hook up with her. I presented it another way, and the majority said to stay loyal to your bro and stop giving her attention

what to do?
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>>
>>17582475
Drop her

Consider this, you're considering hooking up with a girl that doesn't mind fucking between friends and can't even be straight to you about it regardless of the problems it might cause you (and your friend). Even if they aren't official yet, she is a mess waiting to happen.

So forget her, but I doubt you will because guys are slaves to pussy.
>>
>>17582508
>slaves to pussy
Listen to this anon. Instead of thinking how can I interest her, think does she interest me? If she is doing this shit to you, I would 100% dump the manipulator, because I have no interest in a manipulator
>>
>>17582475

Your friend is a pussy. She is a bitch. And you are a dumbass.

She is playing two guys that know each other at the same time, that's why she is a bitch. Your friend is not willing to come clean with their relationship to you, that's why he is a pussy.

And you are still thinking about it. That's why you are dumb. This is a disaster waiting to happen.


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