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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 36. page
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>Look sort of feminine but still a boy
>Have fantasies of being a cuteboy like the ones anons post
>Scared to death of getting older than 25 and becoming uglier and more masculine and hitting the cut off for being a cutie boy
>Constantly paranoid of losing any hair because that would ruin my chances of being cute even though I'm only 19
>Realize I am the result of an attempt by the jews to weaken and feminize our society

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>>17827904

Act masculine in public, since that's what society expects of you.

Act feminine in private, since that's what your degenerate brain (and the evul jews) craves :3
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>>17827904
Just tie a strap around your junk until the extreme blood loss causes your 'dick n balls' to rot off so you can have your sick fantasy wish slut boy.
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>>17827927
I'm not a degenerate it's not my fault, and the fact that they want it makes me mad

>>17827944
but I like my penis, I just wanna be a cute boy but I hate that I want it

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Anyone else not know where they're going I life?

>Be me
>18
>Just finished first semester at CC
>Already registered for next semester classes, currently heading towards an "Associate of Arts" degree
>Still have no clue what the fuck I want to be in life, if anything. Too depressed to really focus on a set goal or career for that matter
>Trying to get a job, applied everywhere...
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>>17827883
Try yoga man. Really helped me a lot.
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>>17827883
https://actualized.org/
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>>17827883
1) realize that your economy is fucked because of shitty politicians selling out for corporate bribe money
2) buy that gun
3) change the world instead of wasting away as another slave to the jews

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How do you make sex work out when a girl won't get wet?
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>>17827853
There's a pose that women enter when being hit that is the best position to make sex work. If you beat a woman she'll adopt this pose and her vagina opens up that will allow you to insert your penis and fuck her while doing the least damage to her.
>>
Lube
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>>17827853
If you don't like lube, go down on her.

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Was at a dinner party at my gf house last weekend. She invited all her friends from her old sorority.

At the end of the dinner they all got really drunk and started reminiscing about their sorority days. They all talked this guy who they thought was a huge jerk but for some reason they giggled about how huge his cock was.

I couldn't believe it, I've never felt more awkward.
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>>17827850
yeah yeah that totally happened. This same old thread

Move along now nothing to see here.
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>>17827850
await getting cucked!
>>
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I've been starting to work with this female coworker from a different department on a project. I've known about her for a few months now; she is single and, in short, wife material, and I don't want her to be the one that got away.

My interactions with her have been limited so far, but she's been friendly with me in conversations and skype messaging, which doesn't say much, I know. I've given her longing gazes to indicate interest, and she's returned eye contact, but I don't know if she gets it and if I'm coming across as creepy.

She...
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>>17827835
>wife material
Stop with this shit, women are women.
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>>17827835
Bretty gud idea with the message. Proceed
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>>17827845
Not trying to be a wk, but it doesn't seem like she's been on the cc.

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Dear anons,
I am a social introvert, an awkward sort of person who wants to die. I don't want to die for my families sake, but I don't see the point in continuing life otherwise. I don't have the energy or emotional capacity to seek fulfilling relationships. I have no clue how to reforge my passion for my own dreams and creativity.
I have job, hate job, only covers maybe half my life budget but good benefits. Was going to go to school but fuck student loans.

Wut do?
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>>17827832
Find a less draining job maybe?
idk. It's a terrible place to be in, and you have my sympathy.
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>>17827865
OP here.
I am seeking one as we speak. Other than this I have no idea what to. I want to re-kindle the spark of passion I've had before in my life but it seems I'm literally forcing it. I don't want to hurt the people who love me but I need something else to hold on to. Something that let's me bond with other peoples, kek.
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>>17827898
What were you passionate about beforehand?

Hey , /adv/ !
Some weeks ago I've posted a similar question but I'll give it another go .
So , background info I'm 22 , uni student . Average looks , quite likeable personality ( based on peers opinion , they say it often ).
I'm not a kissless virgin , but I have problems with relationships . Thing is , I didn't have any girlfriends.
I've tried to find a solution and the problem boils down to I'm not really motivated to build relationships with women . I can hold conversations ( both online and IRL ) , but it feels like a chore....
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>>17827791
sorry i dont understand.

you dont want a girlfriend right? you dont like talking to women and have no motivation to date one.
also you do not have a gf.

whats the problem?
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>>17827791
Your prefrontal cortex isn't functioning properly. It's okay. I know that lack of feel. You'll be fine.
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>>17827803
I know , it's complicated.
I do want a girlfirend , I feel that void of love in my life .
It's just a chore to talk to them and after I while I just move on to talk to another girl . It's really strange I have no problems talking to even the most boring of my acquaintances .
>>17827804
I've contemplated that I'm autistic and I just can feel romantic love, but the said void exists . Any ideas how to become asexual tho' ?

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I lost my virginity to my long term boyfriend and I'm feeling a little insecure. His ex had many sexual partners before him and she was very experienced whereas I had no experience...I was a kiss less virgin. Our first kiss was awkward because I didn't know what to do. I feel like I have got the hang of things but sometimes my bf will tell me to do other things or to stop doing things a certain way and it makes me wonder if his ex would do everything right. Once he said 'I like getting my back scratched during sex' then I tried it only to have him tell me...
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I guess the question is how do I improve? Or is he being harsh?
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>>17827788
>>17827805
>he told me he really enjoyed making out wih this one girl who would bite really hard, i tried it...yet again, told me I did it wrong

lmao this fucking guy

>how do I improve
by getting a new bf
>>
he's not being harsh, he's telling you what he likes, thats necessary for a healthy relationship. The only way to improve is like in anything in life, by failing. Just keep trying your best, thats all you can do, don't overthink it. The way your doing things is surely awkward and forced, because you've never done them before, thats to be expected though, everyone is there at one point, just keep trying, experiment with these things until you eventually do it in a way that feels right and natural

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I just ate an entire bag of these with sauce

help me /adv/ my stomach hurts really bad, i tried to take a dump but nothing comes out.
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>Torula Yeast

Do NOT drink any water unless you want to go into toxic shock when your stomach ruptures.
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>>17827756
Shit i already drank a fuck ton of water because it was so spicy
>>
What you need to do is drink some milk, and go for a jog.

How do I cure my porn and masturbation addiction?

I seem to be too addicted to these both. I spent too much time doing it rather than the college stuff I've got to do.

Please pour in your valuable advises.

(pic : had to choose one in order to post this thread)
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>>17827734

Don't quit. Nofap is unhealthy for your prostate.

http://www.harvardprostateknowledge.org/does-frequent-ejaculation-help-ward-off-prostate-cancer
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>>17827738
He says he's wasting too much time though.
Just jacking off once, taking half an hour a day is alright and healthy, but that guy doesn't have time to study due to being a huge porn adict.
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>>17827743
How the fuck can you watch porn for an hour and not ejaculate and lose interest?!?!?!?!?!

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Been seeing a new girl for about a week now, we slept together a few days ago and a few more times since then. We arent official or anything but she seems pretty into me and vice versa.

So last night she goes to her staff Christmas party, and everyone ends up going back to hers for a party. She was trying to get me to come around and join them but i had to get up for work early so i didnt go.

This morning i woke up to a snap i recieved at 6am saying "someone kissed me :( rek them for me". By the sound of it shes implying they did so against her will....
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It's a bullshit test. She wants a hothead lunk to fight battles she starts because she's an instigating cunt
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>>17827707

I would talk to her about it, tell her what she means by someone kissed her, and what she did in the situation. If it all checks out then just move on from it. It's a good sign that she told you, and it's also a good sign that it doesn't sound like it was a mutual kiss. I know its suspicious but you either have to trust her or don't, that's up to you, she hasn't really done anything to break your trust just yet so I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.
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>>17827707
I'd be more concerned that she slept with you a couple of days after meeting you. Is that her normal mode with guys?

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What makes women and society think a male that is virgin in her 20-30 is somehow creepy yet a girl can be virgin and still be fine?

is like wow bitch, how can you be so superficial you're not aware of the beta struggle, yet you browse this board.

fucking cunts, man.

yeah cunt, keep making fun of the most loyal males you could find, keep wasting time seeking some Tyrone cock, fuckign dumb bitch.
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>>17827704
cos ur attitude is so attractive u sour graped bufoon
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>>17827711
I simply don't have the need to treat anonymous girls diferent than anononymous males.

you could be a fat beta male posing as a girl.

this is why we have the tits or GTFO rule.

>oh no, he's not sucking my cunt, he must be an asshole
>muh safe spaces
keep crying bitch, this aint facebook.
>>
That would take far too much time to explain.

You're never not a woman, but you're always not a man.

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so I asked a girl to go squashing with me, and she asked me what would the price be if you win, and I want it to be fun or creative but right now im out of clues
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whoever loses has to pay (or cook) dinner?
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tell her if she loses she will suck your dick.
if she gets surprised or angry tell her it was a joke and invent other shit.
>>
> Squash
> NOT badminton

You really love to have cock up your ass don't you?

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How do I unlock a 3 digit lock I don't remember the code to? Pic related.
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Try a thousand times.
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I've had that happen to me when I was 14.
I just tried everything while attending class.
Treat yourself to something mindless and enjoyable and do it, starting from 000.
If you have trouble concentrating, just put music on and let your mind drift while you do this repetitive task.
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>>17827657

There are online guides. You might not need to try every possible combination, but you might; it depends on the quality of its construction.

Alternately, it looks like an airline-compliant lock, which all open with a common master key. The master key may be available for purchase online. I am uncertain of the legality purchasing any such key, though. You should consult whatever laws cover such things in your area.

Alternately alternately, it looks like a pretty wimpy lock. You could probably cut...
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as the title says my boyfriend ruined my birthday. I had given him a wishlist of the presents i wanted and i even wrote a couple of ideas for him as to what we could do on the day. in it i made it clear that the most important thing was for us to have a romantic time together, a romantic present of some sorts and it didnt have to be something on the list.
He knows its important to me, especially since we havent been doing well in our relationship lately. So when i got up i told him that if we are going out which i didnt think he would plan due to the weather is freezing and...
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yeah sure seems interesting anon
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>>17827611
It sounds like he's stressed about work because either something bad is happening or he's under a lot of pressure. Y'know? Have you tried to talk to him about his work in a way that doesn't seem blaming or intrusive?
>>
Continued:
We went anyways, hurrying down to the bus stop. He barely even looked or talked to me in there.. he tells me the place closes at 8 and i get upset. when exit the bus and start to walk towards the place i tell him i think it is a bad idea, as i want to spend time with him and the place closes in less than an hour, not even sure if we can get any food at that time. He outright left me there on the street saying i was complaining. He mentioned before in the bus i think that maybe we should go somewhere else, thats one of the reasons why i brought it up. we took the...
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I was in a car wreck pretty badly today, I'm fine aside from ringing in the ear and some abdominal pain (going to the doc tomorrow). It involved 2 other cars and was probably my fault since I turned on a yellow light.

Currently I'm contemplating suicide but won't since its stupid, its just a result of being nervous. I'm pretty shaken up and want to drink some whiskey I have to try and calm my nerves but I'm scared it'll lead me to being an alcoholic since I rarely drink, should I just do it to calm myself down?

tl;dr I was in an accident...
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How old are you?
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>>17827592
22, never been in a wreck this bad, just been rear ended a few times

Pic not related btw
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>>17827592
>lead me to being an alcoholic since I rarely drink, should I just do it to calm myself down?


Not gonna give any advice because idk what you ought to hear.

But let me tell you two stories:

1) First time i was in an accident i was in a tiny fender bender. I was yelled at by who i hit and straight up balled my ass after the fact.

2) My driving instructor got into an accident right when he got his license. On the way home from a first date with a girl he...
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I've got a date with my girlfriend who I've never had sex with coming up, would it be weird to invite up to my apartment after lunch or something?
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>>17827578
How long have you two been together
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>>17827578
Why would it be weird.. you just want to show her (insert movie,activity, w.e) and hangout with her.
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>>17827580
She should be excited to come and see your apartment, means you are letting her into your home. You can learn a lot about someone seeing their apartment... make sure you clean up! Get candles!

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>reconnect with ex four months ago
>going well but sex has been an issue
>stalk her online forum
>find this posted anon by her

So should I shoot myself or OD?
>im a little over 5" and slightly below average girth
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>>17827537
If you're average and she's saying that then she's a size queen and probably a lil whorey.

Better you find out now than later.
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>>17827537
OD won't do the trick unless you happen to have fentanyl on hand.

Try shaving and see what happens, if nothing changes, you know what to do
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>>17827537
>killing yourself over a girl

Every time I interact with a girl I know at a party and I open up and there's a connection, I'm left with this sense of uncontrollable attachment.

How do I prevent myself from falling for a girl too much? Especially if she gets with a guy afterwards it really breaks me.

My ideal relationship is a fast pace racy sexual/romantic encounter.

Meeting a girl, getting emotionally charged and connecting, feel the sexual tension, and release it physically through making out/love.

Ideally it won't be a one night stand but an encounter that counties...
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>>17827531
treat em mean: keep em keen.
>>
get into erotic roleplaying. those types of people love romance/intimacy. if you can find someone near you its perfect girlfriend material
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>>17827637
No don't!

I have similar issues to OP's, and I gotta say that you must be pretty unattached if you want to rp properly, or you will end up falling for the other player and you will be left with the same empty feeling. I know because I have been there.

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Ex boyfriend is blackmailing me and trying to get money off of me. I have both emails and texts of him saying "if you don't give me x I will do y"

I'm currently in Australia and he is in the UK - how do I go about reporting this? I know where he lives etc.. But I want to make sure action is taken and he isn't just getting away with it.

Thank you.
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Take it to the police
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>>17827508
Will that work though? Will they take action? Would I be better off hiring a Lawyer for a few hours to write up some letters?
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>>17827506
Send copies of the threats to the police in his town. At the very least they will visit him and suggest pointedly that he would be best off to leave you alone. And you will have a record of a pattern if he doesn't get the message.

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I am going to see a dermatologist I just want to know what you think it is. It's super fucking itchy, only sporadically active, usually dormant, and Ive had it for 10 years. Worsens in the winter, nothing I can do relieves it.
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>>17827455
oh and it's also on my feet

when it flares up on my feet the same happens to my hands
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>>17827455
I had something like this before. It was called hives or something. Don't know if thats what is. Do go to your dermatologist.
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>>17827463
i appreciate the reply

it's definitely fungal, bacterial, or a yeast (though my moneys on a fungus)

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I'm going to ask a senior in one of my classes with "to be honest, I can't get enough of you. We should go out for coffee sometime". I'm going to ask her out no matter what you faggots say. Given that classes are over, I have no other choice but to do it through text. So, the only thing I need from you people is to help me improve what/how I'm going to do it. Wake me up, wake me up inside etc.
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>>17827438
Sounding like a total beta. "to be honest, I can't get enough of you" is too damn creepy man. At least say "Hey I was wondering if you wanted to grab some food or coffee some time" idk something that doesn't sound creepy as shit.
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I don't know about the whole "I can't get enough of you" part, maybe say something like this

to be honest, I like you I think you are cool/funny/ect whatever you want to put. But I can't get enough of you seems a tinsy bit creepy to me. Good luck my friend, merry Christmas!
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>>17827438
That's not autistic, that's what everyone does you dingus. Just ask if you want to get coffee. Not any of that i cant stop thinking of you shit. Also try not to be to anxious or robotic. You know what i mean.

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Hey /adv/. So I'm a neet. Recently my mom wants to teach me how to cook.

The problem is I can't turn on the stove. You know that button where you press in, turn, and release to turn it on? For some reason the flame always dies when I let the button go after turning it.

Mom is now pissed as fuck and insulting me for being a useless neet.
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HAHAHAHAHA
>>
Do you mean the burner? How many times have you tried?
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>>17827443
Around five

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I think about suicide a lot; I cry for several hours a time several times a week; the only thing I look forward to is seeing my boyfriend on the weekends. I would never kill myself, because I have him, but I really hate living at times. What to do?
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>>17827414
Therapy and medication mixed with techniques to help your mindfulness. Mediation, you time, relaxing. There's not really an easy way out for a lot of us. Hope you find the happiness we deserve anon.
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>>17827414
first of all how old are you. If you're a teen then you're just going through a phase thinking you're a low life degenerate. I recommend you find some sort of hobby or sport team that will take your mind off of things. in Highschool running track and cross country really helped me cope with my depression. Hell if anything he helped me get rid of it and become a much more outgoing person. Just do anything that can help you in the long run even as an adult. So sports, art, music, volunteering, working, etc.
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>>17827426
>>17827433
Both of these are really important. Also, keep in mind that asking for help with this doesn't make you "broken" or anything like that. Talk to your family and boyfriend about it; you don't need to tell them all the details, and they aren't entitled to the details if they press for them. Just build up your support system, and talk to a professional.

If it helps, I went through some long, intense years of depression, and...
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When stories come out about hot young female teachers "molesting" their male students I can't reconcile the fact that it's basically all I ever fantasized about at that age and the idea that it's morally(ethically?) wrong of them because they're in a position of power over them and are much older.
What do you think? Is it as abhorrent as if the genders were reversed?
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Children, regardless of gender, are, generally speaking, mentally and emotionally incapable of having the necessary judgement skills for consenting to sexual acts. They don't understand the impact of the situation, so if they are coerced into sex by an adult that is taking advantage of the power they have over them it can be damaging.

There are differences in societal gender roles that can cause the outcome to be different depending on the child's gender, but it's principally potentially harmful either way.
>>
Consider how you feel about boys that are molested in a homosexual manner by older men. Does that bother you? Now try to consider what if the molested boy in question happens to be gay and thinks they might want it, or maybe fantasize about it. Does that really make a difference when they're raped? Now just apply that reasoning to heterosexual boy being molested by a woman.
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>>17827429
I dunno, I would have been pretty stoked. Also by middle school a lot of males are physically stronger than adult females

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I can't get over the fact my ex is moving on from me. We broke up a few months ago because if his alcohol problems. He moved far away, got a job and he told me he isn't drinking anymore. We have been talking as friends and everything was great. He wanted me to travel and move in wih him but I am currently going to school and where he lives isn't near a university. A few days ago he was acting weird and told me I'm controlling him and when I asked how he wouldn't give me an answer. He told me we would never work out and we should just stop talking. We...
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Look no matter what you do don't leave school for some guy, trust me man!
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>>17827391
Move on. Talk to other guys. Improve your yourself through exercise and learning skills
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>>17827393
>>17827396
What if he was the one

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>match with this really hot chick i superliked for lulz on saturday morning
>dont talk to her immediately because its a saturday and i didnt want her knowing I was boring and staying home on a saturday
> decide to message her sunday morning
>in her bio she mentions talking about some gay emo band named brand new.
>decide to ask her what her favorite song is (had great conversations about music with other girls before by...
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>>
>>17827365
Fave song question is fuckin boring dude. The best thing you could have done is say she's hot and ask straight away to get coffee
>>
Tinder is a fickle mistress man, you could get 5 hot girls willing to out and fuck you on the first date in 3 weeks, or the more likely thing, get nothing. Keep at it man while also looking for qt's elsewhere
>>
>>17827365
brand new is one of my favourites. how rude of u. what do you actually listen to? probably trash nvm not interested in ur shitty fucboi music : ( i am so buthurd1!

anyway.

>dope
>trump frogposter
>immediately call a band you didn't even know "gay"
>unironically using the term gay as a derogatory term

i mean from this post it's pretty obvious how...
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this girl im dating and living with just told me something that i kinda suspected but hope wasnt true.

ok so first im black and apparently, ever since she was a little girl she has always wanted to adopt a black kid. because she loves the "black culture" what the hell is the black culture? and so what i think is that what most boards on here are saying about dating black guys being just a fad is true. its like a white girl who's fascinated with asian guys because of anime and asian music. she doesnt want me for me, me she wants me because of whatever "culture"...
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>>
That sucks anon. You should confront her about this.
>>
File: gay_lol_xd.png (47 KB, 184x184) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
gay_lol_xd.png
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Way I see it you have

1: dump that bitch

2: fuck her don't get to emotionally attacked and when she eventually gets bored it's all good

3:fall in love with her start a relationship let her break your heart.
>>
As a white girl, this sounds like something I'd say if I was rambling and trying to reassure a black person that I truly like them and that I'm not racist. I can't read your girlfriend's mind, but it really strikes me as that.

Tell her how awkward that conversation made you feel. Explain why it made it feel that way, and give her a chance to explain herself better.

File: Sad_me.ini.jpg (150 KB, 797x957) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Sad_me.ini.jpg
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>be me
>17
>kissless virgin never had gf
>has huge crush on best friend she is a qt asian
>friendzoned hard for a year
>her bf breaks up with her now's my chance
>ask her out tell her how I've felt for her all this time
>says she likes me too
>we go out
>2...
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llolololololololololol

fucking go back to her place right now and apologize you fucking idiot
>>
lol op you are retarded
>>
lol this has to be bait, right?

anyway, just apologise and say 'okay' and leave her alone. clearly too much of an idiot for a relationship.

>>17827357
don't bother doing this. don't make it harder for her. she might not respect herself enough to stay away from you after that, but you should respect her enough to leave her alone after that shit show. god damn. why the fuck did you run away, holy shit.

>don'tknowwhattodo.exe
fucking pull your dick...
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File: 1480873121324.jpg (58 KB, 372x471) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1480873121324.jpg
58 KB,
What's the best way to get a good male perfume without spending too much? Websites that sells perfume at decent prices?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827347
>male
>perfume
i think you mean musk
>>
or deodorant
or cologne

anyway the best way to get the stuff is to buy something. in a physical store. so you can smell it and decide if you like it or not.

i just use rexona for men "original". i looked online for what a bunch of people use, it was pretty popular. smells alright.
>>
>>17827368
How do you judge a smell? According to my friends I have a horrible choice in choosing smells. Should I just do research and get a popular one, or trust my own sense of smell


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