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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 363. page
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I don't want to flirt or buy shit for women because that automatically puts me in a lower position than them- I have to make the moves, flirt the right way, put myself out there, and I *might* get a bone thrown at me. The way I see it, if a girl isn't obviously into me and makes a move (it's happened before) then I really want nothing to do with her to feed her already massive woman-ego. The whole notion of women being the gatekeepers just turns me off.

Am i missing something.
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I don't even know how to flirt. I never developed that social skill.
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>>17578256

No, you aren't this is exactly how a man should be thinking.

The only reason women think they are the gate keepers is because too many dumb men play into their games and allow them.

Men are actually the gate keepers, we age like wine while women age like cheese, hence why older wealthy men will pick them out like cattle while they are still young.
>>
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>>17578265
This, like honestly how the fuck do you even flirt. Literally all I can do is extend small talk for a bit until it dies.

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I only find my gf beautiful.

Is it weird ? I found all the other girls ugly and never masturbate or fuck anyone excepty gf

And it make me feels different and really weird.

Pic realated, fcking ulgy to me. For my friends shes great.

What do you think about it ?
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>>17578245
That's pretty normal, man.
>>
woah, what an absolute freak
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>>17578245
It just means you have a strong bondage to her. While of course it isn't a rational thing, it IS a good thing. You should cherish that not be freaked out by it.

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anyone got some positive vibes?
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What I like is searching youtube for "positive vibes reggae" and find some decent songs, and just close my eyes and enjoy the music. Heck, you can even start dancing to it when it feels right

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My boyfriend blew off our plans this morning without telling me, idk how to handle this..

So we had plans for this morning, we didn't have an exact confirmed time but we talked about 12. And he said he really wanted to hangout earlier and was trying to get me to hangout earlier but we agreed around 12. So I was I text him around then and he didn't answer me back until 4pm.

I asked him why and what happened? And he didn't answer me. I don't know what to do, I feel pretty shitty. I know we didn't have definite plans for 12 but the fact...
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>>17578230
>my boyfriend blew me off
> i haven't asked him why
> adv, why did he blow me off?
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>>17578233


I'm asking what I should do in response like if I should even see him tonight.. I'm actually pissed off that he isn't answering me when I asked why wtf
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>>17578233
This.

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Asking out a girl I like tomorrow. Can I get a pep talk?
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>>17578200
Don't fuck up.
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Don't be afraid of rejection. Learn from it.
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>>17578200

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Where can I take up coding, learn it and functions very well, for as little or no money as possible
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Some libraries offer free classes depending on your area.
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>>17578118
Do you know about any free websites where I could do that at home as well?
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>>17578079
Go to /g/ and find the resources there.

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so i have this annoying little sister that wakes me up all the fucking time, how do I deal with her?
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>>17578046
You have to be 18+ to post here.
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Try moving out.
>>
INCEST INCEST ITS THE BEST
PUT YOUR SISTER TO THE TEST

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ITT: Social cues you never realized existed until recently
>When someone at work or school asks if you "need anything from the cafeteria", they are not offering to get something for you but inviting you to come with them
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>>17578038
Monitoring this bread for tips.
Semi cuntribute; not new but might be helpful for some:
>if a woman in a bar or night club smiles at you more than once it's an invitation - she's saying "come talk to me"
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>>17578038
How the fuck did I never realize this? I guess I'm a real lazy fuck lmao.
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>>17578061
or really antisocial.

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I was on a date. It was going alright. We were going back to my house to be lazy with some fast food and TV. I figured this was an opportunity to cuddle or something. She passed a sign marking the highway where her father was killed in an accident.

She was holding back tears, and decided to go home. She said she'd drop me off at home. When the car stopped, I took a minute or two (literally) to ask her what was wrong and ask if she was sure about leaving. Then she told me about her father, and had me text her mom some shit about me being a friend and how she'd...
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A 2d girl would never do this to you.
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>>17578035
I'm starting to understand why people with money hire prostitutes.
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>>17578035
Jesus, dude.

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All of my friends in my social group all are very active on social media, talking to lots of people on facebook at once, same for my girlfriend.

I am in one group chat with my guy mates (They are part of many) and basically just use facebook to talk to my girlfriend who currently lives a few hours away.

I study for my final year in college, lift and see my gf... If me and her don't work out what do I do? I feel like those around me view me as an outcast simply because of how inactive I am on social media. Me and the gf argue a lot and I feel very isolated,...
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Don't worry, I get a similar feeling OP.

All of my friends and pretty much everyone else uses social media way more than me and are always talking to people, I tend to avoid it largely because I like having alone time without having to respond to constant messages. I do find it tends to distance me slightly though, especially as my friends are often on Skype every night as well which I largely opt out of. Makes me feel kind of aloof and like I'm the odd one out.
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>>17578020

Pretty much exactly in your situation. Seems like all my eggs are in one basket with my current girlfriend. Not sure what happens if we break up, my social life is dwindling and I am not at all active on social media.
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>>17578020
>girlfriend
>outcast
pick one mate

Met this gorgeous girl about 7 months ago. All went well and we had a blast. Took her out on a few dates, and it was lovely. Now we've been dating for about 4 months. And last week I took her out to dinner. Don't ask me how. But eventually we came to the topic 'sexuality'. Now I'm a bi-sexual. (Actually pan-sexual, but hate the term. It's just bi.)

She freaked the fuck out when I told her this. Saying I should have told her earlier. Honestly I don't like to talk about my sexuality. Because I don't think it should define a person....
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>>17577989
It's like religion. If someone doesn't care for something, you can't change their mind. Let her go.
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Dude shes crazy. If you were straight was she just going to just start a fight randomly one day by saying 'im afraid you'll cheat on me with some girl! Even though youve been perfectly faithful to me so far!"

Although you really should have told her your sexuality earlier. After 7 months it would feel like you were intentionally hiding it. It doesnt define you but it is a part of you that your so would like to be aware of.
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>>17577995
Aaaah man... I wish I could change her mind though. It's so retarded that such a tiny element can change a person's mind.

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I used to have a lot of sex. I've had 3 partners, all of them long-term and somewhere along the way I stopped enjoying sex. It feels nice, but it's not such a big fucking deal that it's not overall kind of annoying. I'd like to just be able to enjoy the feeling but...
Turns out I'm grossed out by it now.
Not really sure why or when that started.
Bodily fluids seem gross to me. Yeah, they're hot in theory, but when I need a damn shower because my undercarriage is a hell of ladyjuice and sweat...not fucking sexy. To me, anyway. Ditto on...
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>>17577985
this is why fapping in the shower is best
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>>175779855

Has your body itself become gross
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>>17577987
Sure, but that doesn't exactly keep my partner happy. He doesn't complain about sex being rare, but I'm sure he'd prefer it wasn't.

>>17577988
Nah. I'm in the best shape I've ever been in.

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I'm 18 and a NEET. I just graduated high school.

I didn't want to go to college and I was planning on joining the Air Force, but everyone is telling me that I should probably go to college and that the military is for stupid people with nothing going for them.

I got into a few decent colleges but I really didn't want to go at all, I hated the idea of it completely, but now I think that I should probably go to college. The only thing is though, I have no clue what I want to major in, what school I want to go to, etc.

What do I do?
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Go to the army. It is not a bad choice in general. Looks great on your CV. And they will teach you proper discipline. I enlisted 8 years ago. Not a day in my life I regretted that choice. College is overrated.
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>>17577998
Are you sure I should join the Army? I've been told joining the Air Force is probably a lot smarter if I were to join the military
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>>17577981
If you go to college with no passion, you will waste a lot of time and money. Even if you half ass it and graduate, you're not going to land a decent job with your shitty attitude and behavior in life. At least in the military, you will have no choice but to adapt and change, otherwise you get kicked out.

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I'm 26 and over the years I've tried the vast majority of drugs, apart from some extremely obscure and hard to acquire ones. Usually more than once, and have tested most of the logical combinations as well.

I'm good health, physically and mentally and sucessful career wise. Though many of my friends are not, and the phase while I was doing this research was pretty fucked up. It all started from just being a kid that partied a lot, and then a sense of OCD completism once I'd ticked all the big hitters off. Any gaps in my experiance I usually justed...
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How fucked up are you mentally? For real.
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>>17577984
Was objectively mentally ill when usuage was at it's height. As a result of low serotonin and constantly tripping. (which is particuarly bad for mental health, whatever people say) I was lucky to finish higher education with a decent grade. I'd say this was probably due the drugs rather than genetics. Now I'd say I'm almost balanced. Though I have trouble watching 3D movies and such due what I've put my brain through.
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>>17577984
I'm certainly more introverted and anxious than I would have been otherwise. May not be obvious on the outside but I notice. I now prefer close friends and long term relationships now, as I don't have to hide the quirks I've picked up.

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>you go to sleep one night
>wake up
>you somehow traveled back in time to your first day of highschool

What do you do differently?
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>>17577924
dont go to high school break my computer and go get shitfaced with the m8s pretty much
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Speak yuropoor, please.
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>>17577924

for me it'd be mostly the same things but with whatever maturity my hormones don't erase.

id definitely hae more sex. so many opportunities gone to waste. id also be able to focus on certain projects with the knowledge i hae now, but i know that is not exactly what you mean.

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My ISP sent me an email for downloading DOOM. A "notices of infringement from ESA".

How fucked am I, is this just a warning? I uninstalled my torrent client for now. Is it possible to do something in the future so my ISP can never know what I'm downloading? I was using Deluge...
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please respond
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>>17577905

depends, what did the letter say? most say 'no actions being taken against you just delete everytihng and move along'.

but if it said 'were sueing you lol' then ur in trouble.

generally speaking just dont seed.
>>
You can get a VPN in the future, but get one from a country that isn't cucked or stores your info.

For now I wouldn't worry about anything.
If they sent you some ransom to pay to "avoid" legal action, fucking ignore it. Everyone does, and they won't do shit. They can't prove your network wasn't hacked. If you're really paranoid, I'd buy a new network card/router so they can't trace your MAC Address to you. But seriously you'll be fine.

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How can I quickly learn to speak English properly (and not sounds like some retarded parody slav) in the comfort of my home?
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>>17577903

>properly
>in the comfort of my own home

hire an english teacher to do home visits. thats it basically. no guarantee on your accent.
>>
Watch lots of videos and force yourself to make those sounds.
Then try to have vocal conversations with native english speakers.
Italki is great for that.
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>>17577927
>Italki
added to my notepad

>>17577923
>hire an english teacher
costs money tho, also my area just doesn't have any good ones (i know because i've seen the '''''best''''' one)

I have suffered panic and anxiety for a while now.
The kind where you typically feel like youre dying.
im not longer scared, even if i get them if that makes sense...if i get a panic attack my body starts to panic but i tell it to fuck off and eventually it goes.
I actually laugh over it afterwards.
the mind does everything to fuck you over.
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>>17577897

welcome to the next level.
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>>17577925
good or bad? lol
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>>17577980

good. life gets harder when you realize that your life wasnt actually that hard before, but its all in order to go better places as long as you know what you want.

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Has anyone here ever met or been in the situation of developing a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have babies, while you/other person you met do/did?
Me and my gf have been together for 2 years almost now. I've fallen in love with her, and I think she has with me too. From the beginning we knew that I sorta kinda wanted kinds and that she sorta maybe didn't. We've always had hope things would turn out ok, that one would eventually agree with the other.
But as these 2 years passed, I've grown, I got a job, I started thinking about...
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>>17577878
>kinds
kids**
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Shameless self-bump.
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>>17577878

> our late 30's early 40's does she even want to think about that

She wants to wait until she's infertile to decide whether or not she wants kids.

Could she come around? Maybe, but I doubt it. Potentially as her thirties close in the impending wall will make her rethink the value of frittering away her youth but that's no guarantee and the likelihood of birth defect will have already increased substantially by that point.

I can't tell you if you need to break up with her today, but if having kids for you is a must and she wants to wait until she's out of eggs to decide, the break up is inevitable.

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Today is the first day I've been able to appreciate the spiderweb on my bass amp thanks to not being in lots of pain, so I'll put myself here to see if I can help anyone else with chronic pain or fatigue. I am not a doctor but I'll see what I can do.
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I'm here. Even just to listen.
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>>17577866
It's finally the weekend after a week of classes and I feel really dumpy and lethargic even though I need to do shit like study for my first tests.

Any advice for times like this?
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>>17578246
Listen to me carefully anon: you have to put your health first. If you're stretching the limit on your energy, then drop a class and keep dropping until you hit a course load you can manage. I say this because I burned out four years ago and have been recovering since (well, the undiagnosed illnesses had something to do with it but still). Another possibility is that you're majoring in something you really hate and should switch (Idunno). To up your energy though, I suggest taking a hot shower with a washcloth, scrubbing yourself down after you soap up, and at the last second switching it to cold, then turn it off. Studywise, use every morale boost you can. Play good music (I like Castlevania Symphony of the Night), get some classmates to join you, grab some raw vegetables to snack on (fuck the freshman 15), and force yourself to take breaks every 15 minutes for 5 minutes where you just walk around or whatever. It helps.

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Hey /b/,

How do I solve this mathematics problem?

(2√20) / (5√45)
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the answer is 80085
>>
(2√20) / (5√45)

=

(2/5) * (√20 / √45)

=

(2/5) * √(20 / 45)

etc.
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>>17577851
I got 4/15, I fucked up didn't I

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Ok /adv/, it's finally happened.

For years I knew that the way I was living my life was going to lead to problems down the road. No friends to speak of, no sexual partners. I also have a worldview that is about as nihilistic as it gets. I'm a naturally anxious person and prone to bouts of moodiness. But generally, thanks to a very supportive family and a good childhood, I managed to stave off the terror for the 27 years I've been alive. But it's not working anymore.

I'm scared. There's nothing I really want from life anymore. I'm...
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You sound just like my closest friend, only he doesn't have a job and he's slightly older.

The only person who can help you, is input cliche thing to say. My best advice is to get into occult magick and yoga and shit.
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>>17577831

being truly intelligent leads to true sadness.

but only believing you are intelligent only leads to believing you are sad.
>>
Read Camus.
Start with The Stranger.

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So I have this brother who was extremely abusive to everyone in the family. He mostly targeted me however sense I was the youngest sister. The abuse hasn't stopped, it's just less frequent, but now when he tries talking to me I recoil and tell him to leave me alone.
I just don't like being near him.

I know part of moving on is forgiveness, but I find it difficult when the person you need to forgive hasn't admitted to anything and wants you to act like nothing happened.

And now since he wants to join the navy people are expecting me to show...
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You dont have to forgive him. You just have to get away from him and your parents(its fucked to expect you to 'repsect' your abuser) and move on with your life by realizing hes not worth having in it. Anyway hes not even regretful of his abuse so why should you forgive him?
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>>17577820

>I know part of moving on is forgiveness, but I find it difficult when the person you need to forgive hasn't admitted to anything and wants you to act like nothing happened.

The forgiveness is for you, not for him.

Under no circumstance do you need to develop any sort of warm or forgiving feelings for this piece of shit in order to move on. You are under no obligation to speak to him, show respect, or even acknowledge his existence.

What you need to do, firstly, is if you don't have a therapist or some sort of mental health counselor to talk this through with you need to get one, immediately.

Having a stable third party professional to guide you through the process of putting this behind you is crucial to the healing process.

Secondly, recognize that the "forgiveness" aspect of moving on isn't absolving the other person of wrong-doing its merely letting go of your hate, your resentment and realizing that whatever that person has done to you is not worth carrying with you for the rest of your life.

You need to spend absolutely 0 time with this person. I mean 0. If he is in a room, you go to another room. If he is in a house, you go to another house. Plain and simple.

If he puts his hands on you again you call the police, no questions asked. It doesn't matter what your family or friends say. He hurts you, you call the cops.

The most important part of this healing process is reclaiming your sense of self and setting up boundaries. Boundaries that clearly say "You and I do not have a relationship. I don't want to be next to you nor hear you speak to me. You are not allowed to touch me and if you do I will call the police and file charges."

Stand up for yourself. Get a therapist. He/She will work with you to put all of these things I've said into a workable plan and slowly integrate it into your daily life.
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>>17577820
>I know part of moving on is forgiveness, but I find it difficult when the person you need to forgive hasn't admitted to anything and wants you to act like nothing happened.
You shouldn't forgive him. If you just act like his abuse is normal you'll be enabling him and actually encouraging him to abuse more people because he'll learn that it's fine to abuse women, they'll just accept it, it won't ruin any social relations.

Definitely if he's...
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I overcome all my issues (mostly) and I found most of the answers. But my condition has not improved. I now know wtf is wrong with me. I now know why i always wondered how people fake being nice to each other - i have no fucking empathy.

I am talented, athletic, I work real hard. But I am always alone, even when I am talking to someone I feel alone because I have zero idea of their emotions or feelings.
I spent an entire semester with a girl who was head over heels with me but I could not develop a connection at all.

I had a really fucked up past where i was...
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find a shrink, you're sociopathic
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>>17577805
Hey Op, don't get so down on yourself. The difference between you and other people is that you are intelligent enough to understand that you are faking it. This self knowledge comes at the cost of empathy due to the fact you know you are different. For example, you worrying about not saying thank you implies you wouldn't give a shit if someone said thank you or not.

Its only natural you would have anxiety as you are attempting to understand a perspective that just isn't comprehensible to you....
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Empathy isn't a feeling. It's simply being able to understand or intuit the feelings of others. Autistic people usually struggle with this.

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I was raised as an atheist (a lot of us are in France).
I read some pages of the bible out of curiosity but not the whole thing. I'm not even baptised.

Yesterday I went to a "bible learning group" from my university, to see what it was like, and to meet people.

There's a girl there that is really cute and I was wondering if I should even try to date her.

She seems really into religion, I tracked her facebook to see if she has a boyfriend, it doesn't seem so. But apparently she's one of the persons that are in charge of this...
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Does she even want to date you?
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>>17577779

there is only one way to find out. to not even try is to not get your answer. asking here does not give you the answer.

the only thing we can tell you here is that if you do this YOU need to eb open minded. not that oyu need to be religious, but you have to be willing to go to church with her on the high holidays or even just for her once in awhile.

atheists act like this is some big deal, but once oyu get past the bull shit, its no different than seeing her family, or hanging with her friends,...
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Also, another thing is that I tend to kiss girls as confession. I always liked a goodbye kiss at the end of a date to make the first step. I don't like confessing with the "I love you" discourse.
But if by doing that I steal her first kiss and she doesn't like it I will feel very guilty. So I don't know how to process with this kind of girl.

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As a guy, websites line okcupid don't favor you obviously.

My question is, is it even worth it to use these sites? Been on okcupid like 3 years now. No dates.

I am assume I am a average guy. But I can't compete in a sea of dudes thirsting for any woman who isn't fat.

Shoukd I give up? Trying to meet women in real life is total AIDS too. primarily because I have no desire to lead situations because women tend to do things out of pity instead of just saying no.

Help. I'd okcupid just not worth?
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talking to/asking out women is so much easier irl desu

online dating should be reserved for if you're stuck in an area where it's literally impossible to meet women or something
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OP, you can't be picky. its just the way life is. if you want to say online dating is shit, go for it, but to then say you refuse to it irl because of the inconveniences of not having a universally good time of it is like a fat chick complaining shes oppressed for having access to tons of food.

heres some advice

>dont just hit on a woman

its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as...
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>>17577788


>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.

dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their...
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When is it too soon to ask a girl out? When should you do it?
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>>17577755
Never. Let the bitches come your way!
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>>17577755
If you've gotten to 5 dates then it's not gonna happen; usually kiss by 3rd date, house visit by the 4th, bumping uglies by the 5th.

>>17577761
sure, if you're a firm believer in the 80/20 rule
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>>17577763
OP said ask out, not put out.

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I matched with a girl on Tinder for the first time yesterday. We haven't talked much but we clearly both like the same kinds of things. I'm just wondering when's the right time to ask to meet up? I want to ask if she'd like to go on an adventure with me in the woods but I don't want to sound creepy about it either.
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>>17577728
Ask at a high point in the conversation, when you know you're both laughing. I fucking hate doing it over text because you don't actually know when the 'high points' are - there are a lot of ways to interpret one text message.

In this case, get her number and call her. Have a friendly tone to your voice, let her hear you're the type of guy she would actually want to meet up with.

and P.S: if you find yourself in this situation again, ask yourself "would you want to go out...
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...

Ask her to go somewhere public not the woods you sperglord... Or for a walk in a public park if you must go that route... Ask sooner rather than later... The trick is to ask before you have time time to drop the spaghetti.
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>>17577737
Dude I'm way too autistic to talk to her over the phone. I can cope with talking to people face to face but for some reason over the phone I'm a nervous wreck.

>>17577744
Okay perhaps the woods isn't a great idea we need to get to know each other more before that I suppose. Where else could I ask to meet her that doesn't sound super boring and normie?

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Okay sory this is going to be really weird but I need serious answers...

So when being sexual my bf like sucks on my boobs sometimes like sorta in a way that he's performing felatio or something, like will suck on one and move his head up and down like as if he's giving a blow job or something .. and he seems super into it.. Is this normal? Like could he be gay or something and not know it or trying to deny it?
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>>17577683
kiss kiss- Chris Brown
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And I don't think he seems gay in any other way except he and his best friend act like Gayish kind of and I kinda think his best friend is gay/in love with him bc he doesn't like me before he met me, like is jealous of my bf spending time w me, calls him all the time even when we're together, messages me one time and asked me if I knew where he was bc he wasn't answering him back.. Like just weird stuff like that that's not normal between guys typically
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Nah dont worry its normal. I love squeezing, sucking and what not nipples, and I love playing with good tits in general but im not gay like not even a tiny bit.

and about his best friend, from what you described you're over reacting. you said its his BEST friend, we all have 1 or two, and they're best because you chill out A LOT together.

you do sound kind of insecure tho no offense.

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I'm 28, 6ft, and weigh 125-130lbs (it fluctuates between these numbers).

I've always been thin, my dad was always thin and he's been healthy his entire life so far. Every time I try and gain weight I just feel totally weighed down by the excess food and like all I do is shit it out. My body never makes any gains except in the gut and it seems to desperately want to go back to eating less and staying around this weight.

So, are some people just "meant" to stay thin? Is it healthier to do this than try to force my body to gain weight? In...
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You need to eat a high fat, high protein diet and also work out at the same time so you don't get fat but make gains. Don't just eat a ton of junk food and think you'll not just look like a blob.
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>>17577682
That's what I have done, though, in the past when trying to gain proper weight. It just doesn't work. It feels like I'm literally full of shit all the time and doing nothing but shitting 24/7. Honestly, pretty disgusting and makes me wonder how anyone heavier than I am can live with the constant shitting. I don't like to shit more than once every few days.
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There are certain conditions that prevent you from gaining weight, although most people who experience it aren't eating the right things. Contrary to the popular belief it's not always as simple as calories in - calories out because your body won't be able to process everything you eat if it's not healthy or is lacking some nutrients. You need a good balance of micro and macronutrients. Look into it a little and figure out if you're getting your needed vitamins, proteins etc (the /fit/ stiucky has some info on this). If yo are consuming everything you...
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