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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 37. page
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Hey Adv,

My girlfriend is adding random dudes on facebook (probably 1 or 2 a day) and is still talking to other dudes. We've been together almost a month. We've been dating for 3.
We're exclusive at this point.

Is this something to be worried about?
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827339
unfriend her
>>
>>17827339
You clearly seem worried about it, so why ask us?

It's probably not an issue, I wouldn't stress over it. But to put your mind at ease, why not bring it up with her? You need to be comfortable bringing shit like this up if you're going to go anywhere with your relationship.
>>
No. I know this sounds completely insane, but a person can talk to people of the opposite sex without wanting to fuck them. Why, by golly, I had a male server at dinner tonight and I managed to keep every article of clothing on the entire evening.

How do you know these Facebook friends are "random"? Just ask her who they are if you haven't already. If they really are just random people for her to flirt with, have a discussion about why that makes you uncomfortable and re-establish the boundaries in your relationship l.

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Why all of my pillows change their form, which makes it feel like I'm sleeping on a small rock and destroys my head. I've checked the mattress and it looks fine but fuck do I know and can't even fall asleep because the pain is just too much.
11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827298
Buy a foam pillow.
>>
>>17827298
>>17827298

not all pillows are created equal. the majority of my pillows all feel like what you describe. you might as well just layer some blankets they're so shit.
but i have one magical pillow that still compresses as you lay on it, but not all the way through. it cushions relaly well.
>>
>>17827305
This. The My Pillow changed my fucking life.

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Is there any way to connect a computer to your TV with HDMI but, have the computer be closed at the same time?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827239
yes
>>
>>17827239

> but have my computer closed

what doe sthis even mean?
>>
>>17827287
I think he means a laptop.

I'm a male at 5'11 and I weigh about 110 lbs. I hardly eat anything during the day just because I'm never hungry at all.
Even though I try to gain weight like crazy, I always end up going back to 110 after a few days.
And also 3 times when I really tried to push myself to eat a lot, I like regurgitated the food (not threw up my stomach wasn't pushing the food back up my throat I couldn't even feel it)
Maybe I should also mention that I burp a lot more than I think is normal
27 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827203
Yo, I'm 177cm and 50kgs. I'm in the same boat, even the burping. My doc said that it could be just how my metabolism is. I.m 23 so I guess this is just the way I am?
>>
>I'm a male at 5'11 and I weigh about 110 lbs
Yes you do

>Even though I try to gain weight like crazy
No you aren't

>I like regurgitated the food
You're eating too much too fast.

Track what you eat in a day and 300 calories to that.
Maintain that diet for a week.
Next week, add another 300.
Repeat this process until you're eating at least 1500 calories a day.

Don't give me "MUH METABOLISM" bullshit either....
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>>17827219
Same goes for you.
It's not "your metabolism", it's you not being truthful about what you eat.
Drink beer and eat taco bell daily and you'll gain weight like nobodys business.

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>Girlfriend of 3 years, we are open because of distance.
>She becomes a model, talks about how happy she is to have a platonic conversation with her photographer.
>I joke about it "you really like him huh?"
>"FUCK YOU!"
>....I tell her that was uncalled for and I was just teasing her. God her reaction was weird.
>She calls me all the time, sends me things in the mail, gets...
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7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Typical narcissistic model type. You have to walk on egg shells around them. They're never wrong, you're always to blame, one-sided relationship and on and on.

You should probably think about cutting your losses.
>>
>>17827192

these sounds like things you should talk to her about directly.

>I'm not being beta about this

only a beta would say this, you obviously don't know how to effectively communicate with your woman. if she does or says things that upset you, you need to let her know immediately and reprimand her. make sure you get a verbal apology. women don't just automatically know how to serve you in a relationship, you have to train them like you would your dog or your coworkers.
>>
Tell her what you're feeling. Openness and communication are the keys to a strong, happy relationship. It seems like she's not treating you fairly, tell her that. If she thinks worse of you for the things you're feeling, then you can do a lot better.

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Sup /adv/

I need some help here. I've been summoned to do jury duty tomorrow and the thing is....I just don't give a fuck about it. I'm a hardcore /diy/ + /biz/ guy and I've staved off the rest of the month's worth of workload because I have NO IDEA what to expect. I can't afford to be picked and miss LEGIT $$$ for $12/day and crunchy Coconut Carrot Cake provided by the local law institution.

How do I get them to send me home?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827140
Before the day starts, they allow you to walk up to the counter to reschedule for another time. You choose the maximum time, which is probably 3 months. When that time comes, you'll get a chance to call in again to check if you have to go in again. Hopefully you wont have to. If you so, rinse and repeat. Try to get it as close to x-mas time as possible so cases most likely are rescheduled.
>>
Wait - so the trial is tomorrow, or they're just vetting you tomorrow?
>>
You say that you either already think the defendant is guilty. They don't want people who already made up their minds.

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How can I stop drinking without rehab, AA, etc.?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Take a hand full of tranquillizers every morning and you won't touch the booze
>>
>>17827105

willpower, and a self made support group.

but the fact that you are asking tells us you need rehab and/or AA.

there is no reason to avoid these places other than shame. hiding your shame won't make it go away.

my best friend just got his 45 year cake today. it was delicious.
>>
put the bottle down. keep your mouth closed. only put food and water into your mouth.

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I've been looking for an office job. I want a job where I sit on my ass all day, on the computer, doing whatever shit that needs to be done. That is my dream job.

Everyone bitches about how much they hate it but I want it! Thing is though, I don't know what these positions are called or how to look for them.

So what are some good office jobs where I can joyfully work and waste my life away at? I'm sick of these physical jobs!
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Sounds like any sort of sales job.
What's your level of education?
With a high school degree, it won't be as easily to just land any sales job. With a college degree you should have no problem.
>>
You're thinking of government jobs. Look up your local city, county, and state job boards. I don't really know where to go from there since most of them ask for obscure experience requirements. The only way I got hired was from being overqualified (i.e. engineering degree applying for an entry level survey position). But there were a lot of doofuses there too, so you might get lucky. Don't be too shy to apply to physical jobs, since those usually work their way up to office jobs too. Even custodians.
>>
>>17827095

I forgot to add that I'm part of the people who will tell you that you'll hate it. You never think about it now, but having pride in your work matters a lot to overall happiness. Do yourself a favor and learn another trade or some kind of programming on the side. At the least, it'll keep you from feeling stuck when office politics eventually burns you.

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How do you ask out a co-worker?

I'm in some non-important temporary job and we seem to get along well
11 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827067

invite her to hang out casually first. if she turns that down, then you know there is NO chance in hell.

and if that goes well, ask her on a legit date. then follow up letting her know its a date. if she doesn't like that, then just back out.
>hey anonnete, you like sushi?
>yah luv sushi xD
>cool, lets go out for sushi on friday.
>yah luv 2 thnks c u den
>cool,...
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>>17827073
Alright. That was basically my plan.

It's tedious to get her by herself though
>>
>>17827067
you don't

or keep talking to her & wait until 1 week before quitting then make your moves

dating people at work ALWAYS ends badly except in the movies & dumb romance novels

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Recently I met this girl, and I've clicked with her better than almost every girl I've dated. We have the same tastes in everything, we can talk about anything, she's overall an awesome person. The past two weekends she had me spend the night with her and she loves my company. She said I make her anxiety go away, and I feel the same way.
The problem is I have this gut feeling that it's not going to end well. None of my relationships ever have. I haven't heard from her since yesterday morning, which isn't a big deal to me, but she's usually...
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11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17827041

no relationships end well. there are a few sure, but those are the exceptions that prove the rule. if we lived forever, no one would stay together forever. you can't grow at the same rate as someone else for eternity.

everyone breaks up. so why break up wtih someone jsut cuz its going to happen later? wait for a real reason. it might hurt yeah, but so? it always hurts hwen things end. but a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts.
>>
>>17827041
Go for it my dude. You have to understand every being is a different person, maybe with similar thoughts and feelings toward certain things depending on context but never the same so don't let past relationships crush this opportunity toward happiness. If she makes you feel good and you make her feel good then you need to work for that relationship to work and I'm sure she will as well on her own.

Don't overthink, don't make things worse for yourself. Process information carefully before...
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>>17827065
I'm afraid of investing my emotions into someone who is going to leave my again. I'm an emotionally charged person and it fucking blows. If stopped caring about things as much I wouldn't mind but I'm deeply afraid of getting my heart broken again.

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What age is too late to try to change your life?
17 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Dead
>>
In some ways never
People mostly only change if they are forced to
>>
>>17827027
34 and basically rock bottom at this point. Change is all I got left.

>>17827046 has the right of it.

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Go get /fit/ guys

All my life I've been a skinny pale nerd, looked in the mirror and thought "ugh, whatever, at least I'm kind of smart and know a lot about obscure music and movies"

I started working out 2 months ago and for the first time ever I was washing my hands, and up in the mirror I saw this kind of slightly buff guy compared to myself, and I thought "wtf" for a moment. Is this me?

It was me, this is amazing, it's better than nothing. Maybe it won't fix my life, but it's a good start and if I continue...
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22 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
>implying people here actually want to help themselves
>>
>>17827031
Fair enough

Off to lift for me now.

Just remember /adv/fags. Every time chad lifts and you don't, the gap between us and him grows even bigger. So go lift

You're not just a bit behind him, you haven't even left your little race horse box

GET OUT OF YOUR BOX. YOU HAVE TO DO IT NOW, STOP WAITING OMFG WAKE THE FUCK UP

WAKE UP. Jesus. You guys (and me too) we all need a kick in the ass to get started, take this as your kick in the ass

GO START NOW. FUCK.
>>
>>17827044
If you're fat, you CAN lose weight, it's the laws of thermodynamics literally Jesus Christ dude

If you're skinny, go lift. If you're dumb, go back to college or try harder in school

FUCK go to a therapist and learn to talk to girls

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My wife says I shouldn't read manga or comics to our son

He's 6

I read him other stuff like the Jungle Book, the Call of the Wild, Treasure Island, the Pearl, To Kill a Mockingbird, Animal Farm, the Hobbit, Rikki Tikki Takki, and Huckleberry Finn

But the one time we're chilling out reading Naruto she snatches it from my hands, makes a face, and says "seriously? this crap?"

Was I doing something wrong?
25 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Sounds lile she's rather interested in having the 'good family'
Tell her you're sorry, she's right, and continue to read Naruto with your son in secret. It'll be a bonding secret.
>>
>>17827015

no you're not wrong. its just a comic about ninjas.

we like to make fun of the people who take things like that too seriously. despite that most of us take something too seriously. you have to remember that even if we make fun of say, /mlp/ it is an entire fandom that spawned from this very website.

and just taking something way from a kid or an adult simply because someone else views it as 'trash' is a pretty horrible thing to do. if the obsession gets unhealthy its usually /not/...
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>>
Ask her what she sees wrong with it. If she can't come up with anything reasonable then she's just acting irrational.

Also ask her if she has something against Asians. You may have married a bigot.

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What are your experience in exchanging nudes or partially nude photos?

I'm tempted to send nudes to some guy I met off of a dating app. I want to but at the same time there's a fear of what he plans on doing with them. I've never sent nudes to anyone before, let alone been in a relationship.
25 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>btw I'm 20

for anyone who needed further detail of the situation
>>
>>17827013
i definitely would not send them unless i knew them and was dating them for at least a few months. guys are too eager to show off, and even if they don't show anyone they know irl, they are so likely to just share them online.

there would have to be no doubt in how much i can trust them. but that's just me.

i have sent nudes to.. 2 girls. one of them i was with for 2 years. and it was only because it started long distance (different countries). we mostly cammed together before nude photos...
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>>17827025
I'm just unsure of what I should act upon, this isn't something that should be taken lightly but i'm having a strong urge to go along with it. The consequences don't hold a looming impression on me like they should.
Not sure if this is a good sign or not but I'm sure I might regret it if I go along with it.
I told him I might do it if he were to do the same. It would only be fair. But there's no way i'm going first. I have a feeling he would cheap out on me and not do his part.

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I have poison oak all over my cock and balls, is it safe to put calamine lotion on my dick head?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17826965
That will just make it worse, a mix of 50/50 hydrochloric acid with water will neutralise the poison.
>>
>>17827130

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urushiol

"Before the urushiol has been absorbed by the skin, it can be removed with soap and water. However, time is of the essence, as 50% of the urushiol can be absorbed within 10 minutes.[citation needed] Once urushiol has penetrated into the skin, attempting to remove it with water is ineffective.[10]"

Is there a reason that you talk when you don't actually know anything?
>>
>>17827163
>Not understanding what 5050 hydrochloric acid and water would do to skin.
That's rich.

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My sister begged my mom for a dog.
My mom forks over the cash.

Forward 3 or 4 months

Sister stops walking the dog
Dog barks uncontrollably
Tell sister to walk her dog
Tells me to fuck off.

There have even been cases where she will not pick up her dogs shit, WHILE ITS LYING ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR! SHE JUST SITS HER FAT ASS ON THE COUCH INHALING THE FUMES EMANATING FROM THE DOG SHIT.

My mom has to get into a fight with her just so she can pick up the shit.

I'm at my wits end, I need suggestions as to how this gets solved.
12 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Give the dog away

Not kidding
>>
>>17826931
this. give the money your mom spent on it to her so she isnt pissed
>>
>>17826929
Train the dog to maul your sister.

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How do I get over the fact that I will never, ever have a biological older sister? I am an 18 year old male with two younger fully-related sisters (3 and 8), and it's just not the same.
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17826907
Why do you want an older sister?
>>
>>17826917
I don't know, to be honest. I've always yearned for an older, sisterly figure in my life. Hell, even a sibling near my age would be great, but alas.
>>
>>17826921
Don't you have friends that can compensate it? What about your parents? You can be the older sister you want to have, would that be so bad?

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My GF is currently having massive panic attacks because of an exam tomorrow. I know she'll do fine if she manages to calm down and get some studying in.

How can I help her calm down? I'm at a loss on what to do...
11 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>17826880
>if she manages to calm down and get some studying in.
You mean she hasn't started studying?
>>
Share a blunt and fuck her
>>
You can't help her calm down. You can only assure her that what she's feeling is perfectly normal. Accept her for her is the best option to help her.

anyone here lost their virginity to a prostitute? I'm thinking about doing it just to get it over with.
34 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
don't do it, you're gonna regret it
trust me, I'm a virgin
>>
>>17826905
lol
I've done so much more things that are worse and I don't regret them much.
>>
I did. Go for it. Nothing wrong with it and it can help you gain confidence to get girls in the future.

I'm a below average piece of shit person with little to no future prospects. I'll die ashamed and alone and my life will be one of mediocrity and suffering.

Dumb. Ugly. Crude. I'll never get laid or have a close circle of friends. I look and act like a fool, an embarrassment to my parents. I've tried self improving but I'm such a sub-par human being that I can't pull myself out of the gutter despite years of trying. I was born an idiot and will die one.

How can I even begin to accept myself and my lot in life? How can I be happy?...
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>>
>I need to either accept what I am and move on or just end it all

If I put a gun in your hand and asked you to choose right now what would you do
>>
>>17826864
Inside out, bro

Right now, you're looking outside in.
IF you can get others to like you THEN you'll be happy

Fuck that
Inside out
Start with improving yourself
There are so many simple things to do to make yourself better
Cooking, exercise, reading

Do all three and you'll learn how to be, if not happy, but secure
And then people will come to you.
>>
>>17826882

>>17826882

Inclined towards the latter, but I'd feel uneasy shooting myself without doing proper research first. Would need to shoot myself at the proper angle to get it right, I suppose?

>>17826888

Tried it, didn't work. Tried again. And again and again and again but still couldn't get very far, or get people to like me.

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I really like my cousin's friend she knows from church. The girl knows I like her and she thinks I'm cute; I know this because my dipshit cousin told and asked her. My cousin is a church fag and so is the girl and I hate religion so much, but I force myself to go just to talk to her because it's the only place I can see her. I try to work up the courage to talk to her but I'm a pussy and she is always with her friends so that makes it even harder. So I asked my cousin for her Snapchat, the dumb bitch said no but I found it out anyways. So the last few days...
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7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Nah just snapchat her, if she likes you like it was said she wont mind
>>
keep tryin to talk to her and dont do the snapchat thing that is weird very weird
>>
who the fuck do I listen to lmao

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My grandfather died last year, and my parents recently told me that he left his children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews etc. money. My brother and I both inherited $14k, as well everyone else mentioned, as well as leaving his wife $1.3m. All coming to a combined count of roughly $1.7m (give or take).

This was extremely surprising as he had lived in a small trailer in the woods his entire life, apparently investing in stocks the whole damn time.

My brother and I are both legal adults with ID's but apparently we can not access the money.
You see, the old...
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>>
Talk to an estate lawyer you stupid fuck.
>>
Show your father the invoice or some sort of estimate of fees, obviously
>>
>>17826807
I showed him the estimations, he thinks they're fake.

He's legitimately an assbackwards redneck that has been driving trucks his whole goddamn life.

He didn't even finish high-school. I'd have a better chance of teaching him college mathematics by beating him over the head with a fucking brick.

The issue is that the money is not legally mine, instead my grandfather just wished it would be given to me. Stubborn old man.

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Guys, how do I ask a girl out? There's this really cute girl I know in one of my classes, and our last class together is this wednesday, since finals is the following week. I'm tired of being a loser, how do I ask her out?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17826765
well, you could talk to her. i never recommend doing so over the phone.
maybe try to be creative, like asking her in with something she likes, or perhaps something she's really into.
maybe mention a get together, and see what she says, and if all else fails, just ask up front.
>>
Before you ask her out you should feel comfortable talking to her.

Go up to her, think of a reason to communicate with her, have a short casual conversation, then merge the conversation towards flirting. Bring up the idea of getting together sometime, and if she agrees, ask when she is free. If she doesn't give you a definite time she's free, ask her again in a week. If she still says maybe or no, you gotta walk away. Rejected twice means stop pursuing.

When she agrees to meeting somewhere on set day and time, ask her for her number in case something comes up so you can text her, but that otherwise you'll just meet her at the date.

Don't fear rejection. It's going to happen, no matter who you are. The more girls you ask out, the less rejection will effect you. Change your mindset.
>>
>>17826778
I mean, I have tlaked to her before and she's smiled and all. It's just, everytime we do talk after class she leaves like she's in a rush to get to her dorm. Today for example, i was going to talk to her, but she sped out of class so fast, I couldn't catch her. What do?

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Not even sure if I'm asking the right question, but here goes nothing.

I have been receiving similar "criticism" about me from female friends, ex girlfriends even random women that they aren't interested in sex when it comes to me. They've said I'm still attractive, have a decent personality, fun to be around or whatever. Some claimed the reason they had sex with me was because they were in love, felt obligated or that I was available. Last time I was hanging out with one of my exs and she even iniated a kiss but refused sex. What does this all even mean?
14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
For the most part generally women see men as hook up material, date able and not fuckable

You're the date able one

To be the fuckable one just workout and treat girls more non chalant
>>
Get a tribal tattoo and a motorcycle.
>>
>>17826766
I've seen way to many cases where that is not true at all.

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I asked a girl why her spelling was not so great, and she told me it was because English isnt her first language. Now she is upset at me for judging her or some shit. Should i just ignore this?
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>>
>>17826731
middle school
>>
"hey why r u so dumb"
>english isn't my first language asshole
"I didnt judge you"
>>
>>17826731
Tell her that this is the reason trump is building the wall.

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So my new girlfriend was a bit of a slut. She puts this down to low self esteem and I can live with it. But there's something that's really bothering me, causing me sleepless nights and I don't know why.

She had sex with a guy, and he humiliated her by posting about it online, posting that he only wanted sex and to stop messaging him etc. He also bragged to his friends that he could treat her how he wanted and she would still go back to him. He then invited her round for sex again, and she went. After all that.

Is it normal for me to find this story...
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>>17826722
>How could you let another person treat you like that and still go round just to please him?
Same reason guys stay friends with or agree to be FWB with girls who they want to date but don't want to date them: "it's better than nothing".

Also lack of self esteem and self respect.
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Sounds like she values an orgasm more than her self-respect.

I wouldn't date her. I had problems with my ex of four years because she had one casual hook up before we met and she constantly tried justifying it when she heard someone say it's slutty to hook up with people.

Eventually her insecurity got to me and I had to tell her off.

You can always look past someone's flaws if you love them, but if it's a constant struggle I recommend you dump her and wait for a more compatible woman to come into your life.
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Don't stick it in crazy OP

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Even when I'm super tired, I spend what it feels like nearly an hour tossing and turning, and I just get distracted by so many thoughts, I tried counting sheep and listening to cooling major but nothing seems to work
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>>17826714
Anyone?
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get a job or start working out
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>>17826714
Fucking this. I suffered from insomnia for years. Reasons:
- Never did any fucking sport back then (lately I haven't been doing either, alas), then I started swimming.
- Barely any friends
- TFW no girlfriend
- Family problems

This went on through years, then my life improved and suddenly insomnia left my life.

What also helped me is listening to audio books and podcasts, I would always fall asleep on them. Try shit books like The Hobbit and I guarantee you will sleep in 15 mins.

GOD i just wanna F*CKING sleepalready!!!
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>>17826700
Then stop posting on on a Himalayan nipple-hair weaving forum, you faggot.
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DONT TEL;L ME WHAT TO F*CKING DO IDIOT
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>>17826711
fine, go to sleep baka

I have a meeting tomorrow to discuss an open position at another company. It is not a formal interview, just a sit-down at coffee to see if my background fits, and they can see if I'm interested in what they have to offer.

I just realized my suits are not clean and will not be able to take them to the cleaners in time.

Is the outfit in the picture, with a nice pair of jeans and grey dress shoes, appropriate for a discussion about the role they have available?

If not, any suggestions knowing I don't have a suit available?
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I'd say even the coat is too much. Nice pants and a business shirt, perhaps a tie, should be fine. Wear a coat if it's cold, but take it off when you get there
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>>17826692

It's cold, cold enough that I'd wear it to work anyways.

It'll be in a Starbucks, so not much room to take off a coat and properly put it somewhere.
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>>17826708
Just put it on the back of your chair. If there isn't even room for that, unbutton it at least. This is really just logistics stuff, to really answer your question: yes, pic related is fine. No jeans though, dress pants. If you're a little worried, make sure that everything colour coordinates properly.

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Hey everyone, I just need to talk, anyone want to?

Pic kinda related
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Hey there. How are you doing?
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>>17826672
Hey anon, pretty good, just a lot of shit on my mind. You?
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We're here for you, famalam. I desperately need to talk to someone too, but I have my role as an immovable rock to too many people.


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