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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 38. page
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How do I stop masturbating /adv/

I think the root of the problem is that I use it as a stress release and also I have a pretty obsessive personality. A recurring thought I have often is the remorse of how many opportunities for sex I missed out on during adolescence and pubescence due to naivety. When I have those thoughts I always feel compelled to masturbate. I masturbate 2-3 times a day sometimes more. It's starting to really eat away at me and I've felt the benefits for myself doing no-fap but I've only ever been able to go a week before relapsing....
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>>17826639
pick a day, masturbate as there was no future and stop masturbating there after.
The way to manage this is trying to spend as little time as possible by your own.
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>>17826639
I used to masturbate 5+ times a day what I did to stop is occupy myself with other things like reading, going over to friends houses,music, and walks.Walks REALLY help
>>
Keep busy. Less time on the internet really helps.

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I'm the heaviest I've ever been. My friends say I'm carrying it better than I did last time I hit a high number, but I'm miserable.

I found two pills, Doctor's Select Weight Loss 4 and Xenadrine Ultimate Weight Loss, that seem to do things the othet doesn't; the only similarity is metabolism increase.

I want to take them both. Does anyone have any more insight into these? My friend is worried I'll have seizures, because a different pill gave her seizures a year ago.
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Don't be a moron. If these pills actually worked and had little/no serious side effects, don't you think landwhales and hamplanets everywhere would be taking them? Don't you think that the obesity epidemic would be over?
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>>17826615
Well, I'm too broke for Lipo and now my work schedule has me up from before sunrise to after sunset. I'm wiped and getting bigger and I don't know why.

Inb4 pregnancy. No one's touched this in the last 50 pounds.
>>
>>17826625
Okay, take these pills. Just don't complain when your liver and kidneys fail. It's your life, and if you don't know when to put the fork down and get up off your fat ass, it's not my problem.

What if you don't need to shit for more than a week? Not constipation, just not needing to shit.
Is that something to be worried about or is it just my body consuming everything i eat and doesn't have any excess food to throw out?
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what does your normal diet look like?

when i was at my poorest, I would shit once every 2-3 days. thats roughly $25 a week for food. are you starving or eating like a hog? if its the latter and you arent shitting for 7 days, you need to ask someone wtf is going on.

do you burn a metric fuckton of calories everyday doing activities?
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>>17826873
in between, i'm not starving but i'm not eating every 10 mins, i don't really exercise, maybe a week is over doing it a little, it's kinda weekly, but sometimes it goes over a week.I don't think it's ever gone past 3 weeks though.
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>>17826886
>i dont think its ever gone past 3 weeks

if you are shitting that infrequently you either need to google an answer that makes you feel secure about your problem or go to your doctor.

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Wo i just had sex with this girl and I'm about to have sex with another girl. How do i remove the smell of latex from my dick?
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Bump for solutions
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>>17826590
Just wash your dick
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Stop being a sloot

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Anyone have a significant other in the military? I'm having trouble deciding if I can handle this life.
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>>17826518
>significant other

I hate this word. Only reddit uses it
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>>17826518
What is your situation? Are you thinking of joining and unsure how your relationship will go, is your partner thinking of joining, or are you in the early stages of a relationship with someone who is already in?
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>>17826566
My boyfriend of over three years just left for basic a month ago. We talked about it, but it was ultimately his decision. Going from talking every day and living together to him being 10 states away and unable to talk has been rough on me. He told me he wants to marry me after basic, before he left but I'm just unsure how everything is going to work out. I know most are based in state but I'm worried about him being deployed as well since that's always a possibility..

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>dieting
>eat maybe half as much as I used to
I haven't taken a shit in probably 5 days. I used to shit once a day every day.

Will it be all good?
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>>17826512
Can't speak for your shitting habits but suddenly halving your diet isn't a good idea. It should be incremental.
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>>17826512
Sudden first change upsets the bowels
You should be having a daily movement regardless of how much you eat. Only thing that should change is the amount of poo you're dropping at once.

Get some senna laxatives and drink an absolute shit ton of water. Your body will eventually adjust back to normal movements
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>>17826512
go on /fit/ and read the sticky.

Don't starve yourself it doesn't work.

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I'm in my mid 20s and I have my first girlfriend. She's also in her mid 20s. What do I get her for christmas?
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>>17826503
Why do you think that random Internet people know your girlfriend better than you do? If you're completely clueless, there is always money. Everybody loves money.

Do you talk to her sometimes? Did she ever mentioned shit she likes? Or how she hates presents?
>>
What would you get my 20 year old sister for her birthday op


LIKE HOW YOU SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT
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>>17826521
a horse mask

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Hey /adv/, i'm a guy, i'm 23, i've been in a 3 year relationship that is already too damaged and with no repair.

The problem started when my best friend and i fell in love with each other and i cheated on my gf. It never was with physical intentions although they happened eventually. My friend thought she was going to be the one. So i kept lying at her telling her that i was single no, but, two months ago, she saw me with my gf and she got mad. I cut every contact with her and now.

Now i regret this like i've never done. She was the one, guys....
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Shameful self bump
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>>17826490
>What can i do to overcome this?

suffer miserably for awhile and then find a new gal to fall in love with

and don't fuckup next time

you seem to realize you fucked this up and it all started just as friends with some other gal

don't do that shit, that is why males/females have problems being "friends" when they are dating married etc
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>>17827201

But for you, is there any possibilty to get her back? I mean, not now, but i have this stupid miserable hope to meet her again in the future. I don't want to bother her in this new relationship but i really... Love her, man.

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Alright I need some advice.

I'm in community college about to transfer to a university next fall.

I live an hour away from the university I'm attending.

I don't know if I should find an apartment closer to it or if I should just stick here in my hometown.

I mean I'm only gonna be there for a year and a half since I'm finishing early.

I know an hour of commute is long but I don't really feel motivated to finding an apartment off-campus if I'm not gonna be there for 2 full years.
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>>17826408
Find a closer apartment, 2 hours of commuting every day will eat your soul. t. Drove an hour each way to university for two years.
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>>17826408
1 hour isn't too bad, stop being a pussy. I commute about around 1:40 - 2 hours a day so around 4 hours in total a day.
>>
Closer means more pussy and friends

I'm going to have sex for the First time.
Any /adv/ice?
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have fun
>>
You've got to DESTROY HER, anon! Holy fuck, stick it in there and UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF DE LA UNF UNF UNF ! I'm high as FUCK right now holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition! Man you gotta get high and FUCKKKKK! You are a faggot! An actual homosexual!WAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy cow... SEXUALLY!
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The hole is farther down than you think, make sure she is wet first.

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I have all the warning signs of a killer. Im obsessed with killings but I don't want to see myself do it. How can I get help without my mom finding out.
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>>17826378
Are you sure you're not edgy as fuck? That you're enjoying these things more so that you can brag to others that you enjoy them, not because you actually find any pleasure or fulfillment from them?
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>>17826378
Congratulations, you're just like every other 15 year old trying to be cool, edgy and mysterious.
Come back in 5 years.
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>>17826378
Friend you're just male and in your teens. It's normal to be fascinated with death. Talk to your school counselor, as long as you aren't making plans to kill anyone they're there to give you free help.

>gf and I broke up almost two years ago
>Started seeing each other again 4 month ago
>Going alright, ups and downs, we're both a lot more mature now

>She went on vacation to Europe for two weeks
>Decide this is a good time to give her some space, let her miss me a little you know, just decided not to text her first until she texts me
>Have spoken in about 3 weeks now

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its over op
she didnt miss you at all why are you such an airhead
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>>17826355
I would have came to this conclusion myself, but if I was galavanting around Europe 10 hours time difference away from her I wouldn't have texted her either. I'm only worried now that she's home...

Is there a safe way to troubleshoot this scenario?
>>
to be honest, be up front, ask her, if she missed you during the trip.

but be prepared that the answer can be a No

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Im 21 and I am a virgin.

Everything has been a series of unfortunate events. It cant be accidental. Maybe it is my fate...

First off I got my first girl when I was 18. Barely lasted a month due to an unlucky coincidence where a teacher walked by and told the girl's parent. The parents forbade the relationship and I brokeup. (she was really hot)

Right afterward I went to a school overseas with a class that was almost all female except 3 or 4 guys. I developed a crush for many girls but nothing went far. (im a fairly good looking guy)

I barely...
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>>17826299
Keep on trying brother. I lost my virginity at your age. Just don't lose your confidence and ask out as many women as you can. It's kind of like job applications. You want to apply to as many places as possible in your field. Eventually you will get in somewhere. The more women you date the more power you get in the dating world too. It becomes easier with more experience. Much like just about everything else in this world.
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>>17826299
OP,you need to remove the idea that life happens to you.At first you say you are subject to unfortunate events,however,by the end of your post you realised that it comes down to you.
>help me
You have to help yourself bud
>>
>Im 21 and I am a virgin.
Who cares if you are a virgin?

>I feel suicidal.
This is ridiculous. You would kill yourself for simply not getting laid?

>Things seem to just go magically and terribly wrong.
You are over-thinking everything you have ever done.

Use failure as a learning experience and try not to make the same mistakes.

It takes time for some people to find the groove.

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Life is shit and then you die. What do you think?
All my life I've tried to follow some code of behaviour, especially with women, seeing only one at the time, never betray, etc, etc.
In some case it has got me a lot of frustration because it wasn't worth the effort. But anyway, I had my honesty for me and all that.
And then time passes, and shit happens, or worse, don't happen. Dreams get tossed out after trying to no avail, poeple get sick, poeple die, families break apart, and I end up now after a top shit year, with many poeple dead, some horribly...
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>>17826277
Go on some kind of hedonistic lifestyle binge then.
Honestly if you hadn't openly said you didn't like religion, I'd suggest turning to one. I'm not religious, but they seem to give someone purpose.

It sounds like you've had a shit year, and you have my sympathies. But life is random and unfair, and you just have to suck that up and go on living.

Read some existentialist books, if you want other more considered opinions on the subject.
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>>17826277
You're a nihilist, which means you're mentally ill but a step closer to being woke.
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>>17826346
also this; read Camus.

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Why do I hate everyone? My gf, mom and brothers are all just so stupid. I don't feel depressed, if I was alone I imagine I'd be so happy. I'm not super bright either, but they're degenerate, anti intellectual trash mostly. I feel like browsing chans for too long has made extremely elitist, as I hate just about everyone around me. It's just that they worship the television, don't care to improve themselves, and I find myself biting my tongue more often than in conversation when dealing with there piss poor reasoning and explanations.

I want...
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You hate yourself.
You're not bright either.
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>>17826257
Welcome to the real world. You can't have that bad of a superiority complex if you admit you're not super bright.

Seems like you shouldn't be with your girlfriend if you think she's boring. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your gf. So find someone else.
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>>17826257
No woman is interesting, they are by defualt like the rest of socitey. your job as the male to make her interesting for you. And if you think your stupid and your with stupid people, read books, keep up with modern events, and join intellectual circles.

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Why do people dislike drama? I love it. I think it's exciting.
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Why? It's not fun. Especially when all the drama is on you and you're known as the cunt that always starts drama.
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>>17826240
It stresses people out. Embrace your inner drama queen OP. Some people thrive off of that stuff. If that is what keeps you happy then knock yourself out. Just don't go around causing too much of it on purpose or you may well alienate some people.
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>>17826242
When the drama is on you, you just flip it around on someone else's head. It's not hard, anon. Clearly you don't know what it's like to have a vagina, it's a ''get out of jail free'' card. If you're cute no one will blame you for jack shit.

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I can't flex my flaccid penis anymore

You know when you flex your dick and it moves a bit? Now it just retracts in to my body. Like I could instantly stop my pee by flexing my penis but now it stops the flow and the stream before it drips out.

It's like I can't feel my dick anymore, what's going on?

Erections are rarer too, I cant induce an erection anymore
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Stop fapping
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>>17826231
Normal stuff, you might get ED or Peyronie's disease
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>>17826236
this
and exercise your PC muscle AKA kegels.

Google it.

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I made a great friend months ago, I fell in love a month after we became friends. One day she asked if she was being "too friendly", that was when I found out she was married (she apparently always wore her ring outside of that day, I just never noticed) and when she found out that I liked her. We decided to stay friends and still study and hang out. The problem is that I'm finding myself head over heels in love with her even after all this.

How can I get over these intense feelings without breaking the friendship?
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>>17826206
Bump
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>>17826206
It took me a whole year of pain to get over my ex that hung I out with regularly afterwards. It just kind of clicked.
>>
>>17826588
I like spending time with her but damn a whole year of this frustration is going to be a doozy. How did you manage to not do something you'd regret?

I'm obsessed with the girl on the apple id website with the green apple watch. How can I find out her identity and plot a way to ask her out in real life? Im 29 and still a virgin so Im tired of being single.
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I'll save you the trouble.
Let it go. You will never find her and, even if you did, she would never date you simply due to the "stalker" aspect.

It's just a crush, leave it alone.
>>
>Obsessing with some girl watching BBC porn on her iFag

Nice taste faggot
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>>17826229
I thought the british broadcasting company was a network station and didnt have porn on it because it wasnt on cable?

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I am 16. I am a girl. I think of myself as bisexual, the thing that's weird is, for the most part I go for girls. When I have sex dreams, when I watch porn, I thin of myself having a dick. I imagine being a dude and having a girl go down on me a lot. I don't really want to be a dude.. but why do I think of myself that way? I am so girly. I love makeup and clothes and cute things.. Why do I think of myself this way?

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
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>>17826193
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_envy
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>>17826193
MMOOOOOOOODDSSS
>>
>>17826193

You are also underage, on an 18+ board. Come back in 2 years.

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What should I major in if I want a comfy, low stress job that pays enough for me to live in my own apartment?
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>>17826182
In the long-term; do medicine and specialise in derm or rheumatology
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>>17826209
>low stress

>>17826182
This is a stupid question. Figure out what you might be interested in a do research on job in those fields. You didn't even list what kind of apartment you'd want

Many high paying jobs, or even decent paying jobs are stressful.
>>
>>17826385
medicine is probably a good choice, just dont become a doctor, become a dentist instead or somethin else where you dont have to handle dangerous shit
law is also a good choice you could get into a ship that takes produce around the world if you study international law
coding and engeneering are good choices too, i guess it kind of depends more in what you want to do than what you want to study,hell go into pharmacy thats chill

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>105 kg
>poor
>2 good friends
>autist no one understands me
>doesnt listen to music
>fell in love with a girl for the first time in 7 years but i cant do anything
>failed all my college exams
>heavy alcoholic
>everyone hates me except the 2 friends
>when i get...
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talk about the girl, why is that you can't do anything?
>>
browse /fit/
lose weight
stop heavy drinking
talk to friends outside of your circle

Everything else will fall into place as long as you set the goals for yourself.
>>
well we have tried but it didnt work out i liked her a lot still do a little but she didnt i changed a lot for her lost weight,started listening to metal which i dont really like let my hair grow and everything but in the end from my perspective it looked like i dont deserve her even though everyone said she didnt deserve me

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Can a pussy get damaged if it's used dry too much? How do you know if it's doing damage?
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Are you the one with the damage or are you doing some one that you believe is damaged?

Why are you asking.
>>
>>17826127
The one with potential damage. No idea, I can't tell.
>>
yes, it can range between bruising, chaffing, and rips/tears.
if it's not wet naturally, use lube

>want a cute alt gf who wears jeans, converse and wears hair in French braids
>these girls just fuck you and leave
>straight edge boring stacies are the only ones interested in you


Why live
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get over yourself.
You can't always get what you want.
There are MANY women to choose from, find one that is closer to what you want.
Be flexible and compromise when necessary.

>why live
Maybe you're right, you should probably kill yourself.
>>
>>17826121
>compromise on your partner

Who is just end up hating forever? Fuck if that's the only way then I'd rather just stay single
>>
>>17826126
*i'd

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I just had my first day of work and I don't think I'm going back tomorrow
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do it
do it for the money
>>
What is the job? why aren't you going back?
>>
Do it until you find a better one

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So I think this is the last straw with my one classes. I've tried my best with my assignments but thanks to some bullshit I've really fallen behind mark wise. I don't think there's any fucking chance of me passing at this point.

I'm terrified about what my parents are gonna say. I can already hear their response now, "You were with your friends too much" "you didn't take this seriously enough" "You probably just sat around smoking weed all day instead of doing your homework". I know I'm an adult, but when...
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Come to terms with your "bullshit" and be honest with yourself about who's fault it is.

Protip: probably yours, if even partially

You never grow from mistakes if you don't accept them. So assuming that your class is a complete write-off, take a sober look at your failures that contributed to it, address them honestly, regroup, and attack that shit again.
>>
>>17826068
>"You were with your friends too much" "you didn't take this seriously enough" "You probably just sat around smoking weed all day instead of doing your homework
ARE these reasons you're not doing well in this class?
>>
>>17826171
I'd say yeah in part.

Lots of bad desicion making done on my end.

But the reason I, for example, would always escape to my friends house (almost daily) was because all semester I've been so unbelievably depressed I can't stand being fucking alone.

What did you do when you realized that great person you thought you were/were gonna be isn't you and is instead someone else?
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>>17826050
Two and a half years ago. I was still underage then. I thought i'd be a sexy guy with great thicc hair but im a depressed hairy balding eye sight losing fuck whom even own mother hates. My only hope lies in gettin gud at drawing, but i know for sure now that i 'm not gonna make it
>>
I always knew I was a creepy loser.
>>
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Dude just work to better yourself if you don't like the current you, moping about all day won't do anything but hurt you, trust me. If you want to draw do it, even if you aren't the best trying and practicing is the only way to get better man. And if your mother hates you fuck her she sucks you need to like/respect yourself, at least try to. Good luck and merry Christmas chap.

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What does it mean when a girl is lovely with me in person, and we talk all the time for hours when we see each other, but when I text her she takes like days to respond (sometimes she doesnt even respond)?
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It means she's not good at texting
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>>17826032
this

/thread
>>
I forget to mention that she responds other people normally as far as I know

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I want to get a part time delivery job using my car until I finish school.

I have a 2007 Pontiac with 100k miles on it in decent condition and live in Los Angeles

will doing delivery fuck up my car completely or will it be still usable
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It'll probably still be usuable
I'm going to risk it

If I gotta work at target I'll kill myself
>>
>>17826020
I was a delivery driver full time in my late teens and early twenties. The you'll ruin your car thing is a meme.

You'll put on miles yeah, and you'll go through oil changes more often, and tires (balanced and rotated mostly). But honestly as part time you aren't going to be putting on that much literal mileage. Just make sure to keep your oil fresh and tires balanced.
>>
yeah you'll be fine as long as you take care of your car. you'll put a shit ton of gas in it, oil, etc, but if you balance it out right, you'll bank up and it'll be no problem. I honestly miss delivering pizza but my car can't handle it anymore. (I actually ripped up a rotor and had to replace my engine a while back, but it was a freak accident. I also had my brakes go out on my way to a delivery and that was really fun, but definitely my own fault. they were getting fixed the next day anyway)

tl;dr: you'll be fine go for it

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1 MB,
Right so i dont even know how to put this..
So my fathers 53, self employed, lots of money and assets but uptight as fuck! Always been a ladies man and continuously cheated on my mum when me and my sisters were kids so theres me thats 19 and my other sisters in late twenties, my half sister to my dad thats in ireland and my half brother that dosent know im his half brother that ive actually mett has nothing to do with my dad though (rest of us do).
anyway he got a girlfriend two year ago thats 22, has a history of being a little whore, nobody in her neighbourhood likes...
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somebody help me goddamnit, this bitch be out of control
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I dont know dude.
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>>17826177
get to know man, she just takes takes takes, hes currently helping her start her own business that works hand in hand with his, shes only in it for the money and has been known to have threesomes.. i also once said "Fuck you" in an insulting manner ans she replied "go on then"
truthfully ive thought of fucking her but i hate her so bad at the same time like seriously could kill the bitch! oh and she tried getting pregnant behind his back even though he said he dosent want anymore kids especially...
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