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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 395. page
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I'd like to find myself my equal.

How do you find yourself a girlfriend who's alpha? Do alpha and alpha relationships work and have some of you been in any of them? If you were, how was it? Did it work?
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By alpha do you mean one who takes charge or someone who's capable of handling themselves on their own?
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If you have to ask this here, you aren't alpha enough to handle a woman like that.
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>>17557339

This.

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>moved to germany for work and don't speak german
>another guy from work comes with
>I'm 19 he's 24ish, also doesn't speak german
>the only american girls at work throw themselves at him
How the fuck do I find a girlfriend here...we go out every weekend and i try to be as sociable as possible and I just cant seem to find anyone, I even went to the club twice so far and all that has happened is me shittly dancing drunk as fuck...
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First off, you don't "need" a girlfriend and life isn't going to be awesome just because you have one. Secondly, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd entirely it sounds like. If you're dancing at awful clubs and buying girls drinks, chances are those girls are going for one night stands.
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>>17557308

Studieren Deutsch scheiSkopf...
>>
Grow a chocolate dick that ejaculates money.

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I found just found kitten in my land 20 minutes ago. He's covered in flies. He is blind since his eyes are completely covered with dry mucus. He can no longer walk or move at all. He's still breathing and tries to meow but no sound comes out. He is no longer capable of drinking or eating.

Someone please tell me how can I quickly put him out of his misery. I cant stand to know he is suffering for god knows how long. Dont tell me to take him to a vet. I live in a small village and I have no car license.

Pic isnt him obviously. He's in far worse condition!
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Use gloves, shower, clean eyes, milk
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>>17557304

Use a dropper to get some water into its mouth - this could very well mean the difference between life and death. Good luck
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First, soak a cloth and put it in the kitten's mouth for it to suckle on, or sprinkle drops right into the mouth. if you have en eyedropper, you can use that to get liquid into his mouth.

Feel his body temperature. If he's overheated, you need to bring it down by wrapping the body in cool (not cold), wet towels.

For his eyes, kitten have minor eye infection all the time. Use a warm-damp washcloth to soften and wipe away the mucous. You should also try wiping the kitten's butt with a warm, wet washcloth to encourage it to pee/poo. Kittens can't...
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What is the best long term cure for depression?

and yes, i have a hobby
37 replies and 6 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17557296
24h Vidya isn't a hobby. Do something creative instead.
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>>17557296
What's your hobby?


Try doing something for yourself, either start working out and eating healthy, or you can find some friends, since I assume you lack them and socialize with others who have similar, but not totally the same interests as you.
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>>17557296
get into something that helps you look at things more positively like certain areas of philosophy. making plans helps too as you have things to look forward too, I normally go out with my friends once or twice a week. what hobby do you have?

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Hey /adv/, 21 year old here.

Is it wrong, if I enjoy depressive stuff like music (mostly black metal), films and shows? I'm not depressed myself, but I like watching stuff like that, it makes me happy.

Is that wrong? Do I need help? Thanks in advance.
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>>17557239

Didn't go through the edgy phase as a teen I see. Fenriz would call you a fag.
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>>17557245
Fenriz and Nocturno haven't made anything half decent compared to their older stuff, so he can go fuck himself.


I'm not even that edgy, tbqh. I'm not your "hurr durr only metal is music" faggot and I am really versatile when it comes to music, but I just enjoy depressive stuff from time to time. I don't know why it makes me happy, but it does. I never cut myself, nor do I post "deep" philosophical bullshit on social media.
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>>17557245
Help I'm still stuck in that phase at 23

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Any tips to stay awake?

Is caffeine all there is?
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Exercise
Cold showers
Fresh air
Fruits rich in vitamin c
Sugar
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>>17557191

Energy drinks (amp, monster) do work. The problem is that they make you jittery and interrupt "deep" thinking - if you need to do routine work, they will work. You will also be unable to sleep normally after.

According to the military, amphetamines work.

Listening to loud energetic music MAY work, as well as getting hyped about something, but that's not reproducible.

The problem with all these methods is that they are good for drone work, but not so much for something like cramming.
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>>17557206
The energetic music is a good idea

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I've met a princess over Internet. We met already, no sex though, just chilling alone in nature. She's amazing, very asocial, silent, does not use any make up, doesn't care for her looks much and yet she's beautiful, loves nature, expects only serious relationship. We already agreed that she'll move to my place and we'll live together. She's also very demanding. She's not rich (unemployed now) and let me pay, carry heavy backpacks, wants me to do some risky stuff for us... I've finally wrote her like 10 emails about it, that I'm...
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You're idealizing this woman, OP. Don't do anything rush, you might regret it when the fantasy shatters.
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have you ever even met this person?
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Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen

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So I was at a party on friday and realized the depth of my betaness... Literally everyone but me got to make out with at least one other person, including a freshman girl who had never been to a party before and was refusing to drink...

How do I become less beta? I'm just completely stuck and don't want to be like this anymore...

Pic related: her mass = my beta
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>>17557132
Have at least one drink, work on your self confidence, get fit and start lifting and stop being such a pussy.
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>>17557231
I had plenty of drinks, I was social, I climb on a regular basis and have a decent body. I just don't know how to break out of the beta zone....
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>>17557132
You're too scared. Just give her eye contact when you're dancing with a girl and go in for the kiss. If she isn't into it then just dance with her. Be sure other girls don't see you. You'll come off as desperate to get pussy.

How do I be Avant-garde?
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Get an app and count the hours, when you get to 200 you know you're shit. When you get to 2000 you know you're getting there.
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Read and watch avant-garde stuff.
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>>17557118
deep

I was at my girlfriends house and we were making out and i decided to go under her shirt and play with her boobs (that was the first time we've done that)

>Fast forward

We lay in her bed and im behind her with my arm over her chest (not grabbing her boobs) her grandma comes in and sees that but says nothing.

>Fast forward to me leaving

Say bye to grandma, she has no comment about eariler so i assume she doesnt care

>fast forward
>at...
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>>17557075
How old are you? If you're not a fucking kid just tell her grandmother to go fuck herself and knock on the door next time.
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Wow man. If you're over the age of consent then just ignore her and tell her to take back what she said about your girlfriend. So fucking disrespectful.
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>>17557143
This. Even of you are younger, she has to take that disrespectfull comment back. Holy shit. What has the grandma even to say? She's so far detached from reality. What does your gf's mom say? That's what counts more. Not even much, depending on your ages but more than grandma's antiquated crap.

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Where to start? Lately I've been feeling like shit because of the excessive use of my phone and computer, the thing is, I don't do shit while on it: I mostly just check social medias. The fun is ephemeral yet addictive. The sites probs don't even have anything to, it has just become a habit. I hate myself for this. I used to be a big fan of books, films, anime, manga, LN, VN, but now I don't seem to touch any of those things anymore even though I still love them very much. I don't do anything productive all day, what's worse is that I've been...
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>>17556985
how old are you?
I think you just need the right thing to watch/read.
some recs for you
movies
>the way way back
>little miss sunshine
>submarine
>mr nobody
manga
>molester man
>densha otoko
>oyasumi punpun
>bunnouji
>onani...
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>>17556985

>>17556985

Leave these things home and leave the house. Can't waste time on them if you don't have access. Cut down the time you spend online by doing this first and eventually you'll create alternative means to spend time out of boredom. Go to local library to read or something like that. It will take a while, but you can teach yourself time to get over old habits (i.e. phone/computer). Limit online time to an h or so a day and stick to it....
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>>17557011
I need my phone to be turned on constantly because of work.

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What does one do when "the dream" is crushed?
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>>17556984
blow up the planet and start again
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>>17556984
move on and keep trying.
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>>17556984
Remember, its just a dream. Not reality.
Keep on truckin'

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I am a sociopath, I always have been since I was a child. People in my family and social circle used to refer to me as a "psycho" behind my back. Growing up I had alot of friends, because I did quite well for myself, but inside I rarely felt feelings towards them at all. I have small windows where I get overrun with emotions, but it's a short burst.


My childhood was really fucked up, my father was probably the worst human being imaginable, he did all kinds of physical and sexual abuse towards me - my mother enabled him. I think this is what led me to...
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Often times people catch on to me being a sociopath and then they make life really difficult for me. But honestly it's not even success i am worried about, I really want to experience love and happiness which is impossible. I have a BS in both Bio and Math, and I am 28 years old. But since I am so blank in general it's hard for me to succeed in social environments since people don't like it when you dont play their games and cater to them. Also man recently I met a girl and I really liked her but since I had no soul or empathy (underdeveloped) she caught on and...
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>>17556965
Weirdly enough I think oxytocin is your best bet. You need to try and have a real loving relationship with a woman. Oxytocin is a neuromodulator that is released during intimate physical contact. Make sure to do lots of cuddling after sex because that's when it's at it's highest. It has the ability to undo emotional trauma like nothing else in the world can. It breaks down old pathways in the brain and allows new ones to form. It allows you to incorporate that person into your life, and into your very...
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Since I can't offer anything that would really help, I'll bump this thread.

Also, go out more and talk to a lot of girls. Might seem hopeless, but you never now.

And also, this >>17556983

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Hey, /adv/. I have a question about asking some one out. I've known said girl for a bit over a year and I have to say, I absolutely love her. How should I go about this or should I wait longer? It would really help out, thanks.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17556937
>should I wait longer?
For what?
It's been a year. Are you waiting for a sign from god?
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>>17556948
Don't really know just didn't feel right
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>>17556954
Sorry to tell you this, but that's cowardice.

Look, if, after a year of knowing this girl, she hasn't given you any signs that she's attracted to you, she probably isn't. The chances that she is as cowardly as you and you both are just waiting & hoping for the other person to ask is very unlikely.

But hell, ask her out. You'll probably be turned down, and it's going to hurt, but next time you'll be wiser (and you'll hopefully get started on it a bit sooner).

So my gf of 10 years has stage 3 cancer. Im laying here while shes in the bathroom sick from chemo like she has been for the last 6 months. I feel so helpless and hopeless we've both lost who we are to this disease. Ive somehow managed to get emotionally invested in my female best friend who has been supporting me through this. My friend is treating me like shit now and i have no safe release. Am i pos? I dont even know anymore
7 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17556936
You and your gf both need the support of living-with-cancer groups. Google for peer groups who support each other and organizations like Macmillan Cancer Support who focus on helping you through the emotional/psychological pain.
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>>17556936
Good luck, anon.
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>>17556936
Hope all goes well, man.

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My parents always made a goddamn hissy fit about joining the military but now that i have no joob, no college acceptances, and am now 18, I want to join. wht are some of the best branches to join?
>also, whyy do aprents always bitch about their childrens pohone usage (besides the price of the phone billl)
24 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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meant to say that people keep recommending me the marines but i dont know if ii should
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>>17556926
Put it to you in the form of a joke that captures the culture of each service branch...

Five guys arrive at a mountain training facility in Utah, each one from a different service branch. They're met by a receptionist sitting at a desk.

The marine goes first. The receptionist tells him:
"Good morning marine. Quarters are in the basement. Rat repellent and blanket will be provided. Fuck-fuck games begin at 0400 hours and continue until 1800 hours. Discarded MREs will double as rat repellent...
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>>17556961
so the air force has it better?

Need your help /adv/

I've been dating an older, single mother of 3 kids.
She looks somewhat like pic related but is a little older. She is 37 I am 30. I have no kids, am fairly attractive, I've had girls tell me I am one of the most attractive people thy've met, and from highschool had numerous girls tell me and my friends that I was the most attractive person from school. (went to school in a big town with over 5000 kids just in grades 10 through 12.) Even my good friends fiance told him that I was the most attractive person out of everyone they know....
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I feel like if i try to keep the relationship alive, im just stringing her along to a future that doesn't really exist for both of us.

Then again, I dont have the sex drive I used to and most of my time is really consumed by getting my business off the ground, so i dont spend time thinking about sex or chasing woman.

Id be fine with seeing her once or twice a week.

Also, im planning on moving out of state, but Ill have enough money to fly her out to my house, or fly myself to hers, to visit once or twice a month. However, shes the kind of gal that needs...
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>>17556924
>I've been dating an older, single mother of 3 kids.
When you entered into this relationship, did you intend it to be longterm? If not, time to cut and run.

Once you put a ring on that hand, everything will change.
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>>17556930
>Once you put a ring on that hand, everything will change.
thats what I hear. Id ont want to marry her and then have her turn off and be bitchy because she has me by the balls.

also, a second part questions:
what the fuck is wrong with me?

I grew up Roman Catholic but lost interest in teh church when i was about 13.

She grew up mormon and only started thinking about leaving the church after a bad divorce.

She doesn't like the things i like.
and...
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How do I become a successful entrepreneur? How do I get into online money making like bitcoin mining and crypto daytrading?

First money then social and mental problems.
15 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17556920
>bitcoin mining
Don't bother. It's an entirely corporate gig now, mostly dominated by Chinese guys using specialized rigs in warehouses. You would need to throw in a lot of money into the right tech (which constantly becomes outdated), electricity costs, etc. To get an idea, watch this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8kua5B5K3I

>crypto daytrading
That's not entrepreneurism. That's just finance, and the fringes...
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hah, newfags, it would almost be funny if I didn't have my dick out running out of porn
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>>17556920
>How do I become a successful entrepreneur?
>bitcoin mining and crypto daytrading
LOL, get rich quick schemes.
How to become an entrepreneur? Stop thinking like everyone else. You follower.

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So I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. He's a great person, intelligent, funny, good looking (if unconventionally), all the good stuff. The only thing lacking is our sex life.

Now, I know I have an unusually high sex drive. I'd be happy with twice a day, every day. And my boyfriend has an unusually low sex drive. We haven't had sex at all in the last three weeks, and I bet he's only masturbated like twice. We don't live together so that has something to do with how frequently we can have sex, but even when we get together it's...
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you're fucking crazy lmao
>>
Satisfying sex is a really important aspect of most romantic relationships. You don't always necessarily need to do it a lot, but you do need to be on the same page, and have a situation that works for both of you.
Clearly, your current situation does not work for you.
Tell him that lately you're not satisfied and you'd like to have sex more. If he does, great. If he can't or won't, then maybe you need to think about other steps. Some people break up over this issue. Others find satisfaction through open relationships (which, BTW, is a tricky but...
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>>17556886
>is this a legit reason to break up?
Sure. Why not.
But, I'd probably talk to him first. Lay it on the line.

I'm not really sure about asking for advice here but fuck it I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point.

I'm starting to hate my family. I have a younger brother and sister. Me and my younger sister both have jobs now. I'm still living in my parent's house. I give money almost every payday to my parents, both don't have jobs anymore because of age, my dad worked overseas and when his contract expired, my mom refused to approve him leaving again for a new contract because she's concerned about his health (he's about 40+ now). Cont....
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>>17556859
So here's the deal, my sister is so fucking selfish in my opinion. She doesn't give a single dime to help with financial assistance (I know, I ask mom every now and then). She used to give before like for 3 instances on my record. She goes home here every saturday and sunday. When she does she doesn't help with chores at all. My brother on the other hand doesn't do anything but fail subjects at college, idolize hiphop bullshit that in my opinion doesn't help at his attitude, he also doesn't...
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I feel like they are just concerned for themselves and not my parents health and financial condition. I mean is it really too hard to put a little effort to help your parents? I know I have flaws as well in this (still living in their house), that is why I'm thinking of running away, well not really running away but just distancing myself from this situation but I'm afraid for leaving my parents? does this make sense, I need advice?

tldr; my siblings are fucking selfish assholes
>>
thanks btw if anyone replies :(

will be lurking here for a while

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How do I dump my gf? We've been together for three years now and I've realized that I don't really love her and I dont't think I've ever loved her. I don't want her to know this, because I still care and I don't want her to think that these 3 years have been a lie or something like that, but I want her to get over us as quickly as she can so if it helps I will. She's madly in love for me and even though I told her I don't think I love her as much as she loves me, she wants to be together. I think stretching the relationship any further...
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Many guys would kill for a girl that loves them.

I bet you'll write me off as some anon or try explaining away your feelings. But I get where you're coming from emotionally and I know that being over-loved by someone is offputting. So let me ask you, what are you looking for from a girl if you're not looking for one that loves you?
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>>17556854
First of all, >>17556867 has a point. That's an important question you need to ask yourself. But, should you decide to move forward with ending the relationship,
>Should I just wait for her to fall out of love?
This is a terrible idea. This will undoubtedly take longer than you think it will, and even after it does happen (IF it happens), she won't necessarily recognise it and want to end the relationship.
>Or...
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>>17556854
Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice and an action.

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How do i get the attention of this cute foreign boy in college? Hes from america and i think hes really attractive hes not like other boys hes got wild medium hair, a strong jaw and he just does what he wants hes such a rebel.and the boots ughh. But im kinda like the quiet suburban girl type probably not his type but like hes in my class and in doesnt seem like hes interested in the other girls either and just ignores us mostly unless he has to talk to us. Idk i just wanna get to know him
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>>17556828
As long as you're reasonably attractive you're his type, go ask him out, you've got nothing to lose.

Is there a language barrier at all? Is he speaking a second language? If so that might be why he's so silent.

Or maybe he's a fag or shy, who knows.
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>>17556857
I dont think hes gay another student asked him something and he mentioned his ex as 'her'
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>>17557126
Then he's probably just shy or something or there's a language barrier for him causing the shyness. Go and ask him out and see how it goes.

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What can I do to get smarter? I know I'm not very smart at all.

I want to be smarter in general things & knowledge, but especially,I want to get good at programming and such, and also be smarter with my decisions and how i spend my money.

Also, I'm pretty much a lazy shit who plays video games all day. Yeah I go to college, but I have an online programming class. Im mostly a hands on guy, ya know? I dont want to fail this class though...

I also want to hit the gym, but I have no car at the moment. What are some exercises I can do at home?...
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>>17556801
Go to your local library and get some books on topics that interests you?
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>>17556801
sorry son, there aren't many ways to become more intelligent.

However, you can become smarter (more knowledgeable, wiser) by giving a shit and obtaining information.
>>
>>17556801
For the exercises, ask /fit/. Right now, if you're going to join a gym in the next 6-12 months, your best option is to do a lot of cardio, both liss and hiit (in practice, pace runs, but also sprints and similar), and fix your diet.

Stop being a lazy shit, sell the consoles and uninstall all vidya.
Spend the time you'd play doing some programming, since that's what you want to do. Hands-on, but related to your field of study.
The easy way to get 'smart' is to put in the hours....
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Did becoming physically fit help you get a hot fwb or girlfriend ?

What advice would you give any man who's trying to become fit just to hook up with women ?
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>What advice would you give any man who's trying to become fit just to hook up with women ?

Nice fedora- stop doing things for women, start doing them for yourself.
>>
A trend I've noticed among the guys who seem to never be in a relationship is that any time they talk to girls, they always put them on a pedestal by listening to their every word and responding to them like they're dudes.

I remember one time my friend from the Virgin Islands and I took an Uber back from a casino and these two pretty attractive girls picked us up. I have a pretty easy time with girls because I'm a goof so I wasn't really trying but my friend was really getting into it. My friend almost never directly responded to the girls, instead...
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>>17556816
MOAR

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I would like to try a visual/text adventure game similar to Pillars of Eternity interactive cutscenes. Where should I start?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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By giving up
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Could try asking the Amateur Game Dev general or reading their sticky on /vg/
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>>17556792
This is something I have always wanted to do too. It's arguably easier to develop than most other genres out there and it can yield a good interactive experience if made autistically well. I think you should start with brainstorming. Think about what the general theme of the game will be and what elements you would like to see in it, then think about how to develop the game so that it fits the best with those things. For instance, Pillars of Eternity has a skill check system in place for its interactive narrative....
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I'm a lifelong N33T with unpaid student loans in collections, unpaid medical debts in collections, unpaid traffic tickets in collections, and an unpaid fine from breaking a lease, also in collections.

I've never held a job for longer than a couple months, I have no skill set, no degree.

I haven't had sex that didn't involve a cash transaction in a decade.

In the past two years I've had 5 psychiatric hospitalizations.

What should I do with my life?
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The world needs heroes, anon. Especially those with a rags to riches story.
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>>17556780
How are you posting here
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>>17556780
declare bankruptcy and get a low-paying unskilled job that's pretty comfy and just do that for a while.

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My girlfriend and I are pretty rocky right now, and it's because I won't lie to her, and when I do, I immediately correct myself and say how I really feel or think about it. Do I just stop being honest with her and make her angry about being lied to? Or, do I keep being honest and have her be angry with me because I told the truth?
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No, fuck that whore.
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>>17556740
More information: She's doing sorority stuff at her university, and she really wants to do it. I told her the truth, which was that It really didn't bother me whether she got into a sorority or not. I told her how I felt about it, and I wished her luck with it anyway, is there anything reasonable to mad at me about with this? Granted I worded it badly when I said it.
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I am so confuse. Hugh mongous wot m8?

The hell did she get mad about? Did she say??

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Is moving out of your parents home worth it? I live with my mom and while she cooks dinner every night that's about all she does. Is it worth it to be living on your own at 18 in the middle of the city?
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Yes, the independence makes it totally worth it. Btw where's the pic from?
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>>17556727

Depends on what your definition of "worth it" is. Yes, it's worth it if you want to grow more independent and control your own life. No, it's not worth it if you're not prepared for the constant financial struggle that comes with it and if you are unwilling to do housework.
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>>17556727
If you have a job and enough money to afford both having a place to live, maintaining it, feeding yourself, getting to/from work, so on and so forth, it gives you a lot of freedom and independence.

However, beware.

There are many pitfalls and dangers of adult life, and one can easily go astray and fuck up in a very short amount of time. Whatever you think it's going to cost, imagine it's going to cost a good deal more than that. Always ALWAYS pay your bills on time, never ever fuck up in regards...
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Hey /adv/
Idk I just need to get this shit off my chest

I just fucking love her dude, she's the most perfect thing in my eyes and I don't know what to do, we used to talk and we got really tight but now it's gone quiet. I feel like she's forgotten about me or the classic fucking friendzone came and fucked me over but yeah, that's my rant.

It's been around 3/4 of a year since we last talked and idk I haven't stopped liking her since I met her. One of her friends did mention that she said something about it feeling awkward that...
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Why did you stop talking ?
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>>17556697
>What do you think I should do?
Let her go. If she's mentioned it being awkward, then she's figured out that your feelings do not match the way you act around her, and it's creeped her out. I'm sorry, man, but it's over. Let her go, and resolve to be straightforward and forthcoming about your feelings with the next girl.
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>>17556719
We had a group chat but we used to dm each other, but once everyone in the group moved on it all kinda just stopped

>26 year old male, average looks, employed with a full time steady job, literally zero matches on Tinder
>26 year old female, average looks, employed with a full time steady job, three kids, tons of matches on Tinder

How do I stop being angry over this?
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Stop using Tinder
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By realising it's Tinder and therefore meaningless.
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Pussy has higher stock value than dick in our society. Dicks are very cheap, basically, they are given around free to anyone willing to take. Laws of the market, unless men will start to value themselves more and not be such pussy hounds, then things might be different. But all this virgin stigma and forever alone shaming stuff won't make it easy.


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