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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 40. page
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What's the point of life? I don't get any joy out of anything anymore. I feel like I'm too tired to go on and I have no one to talk to.
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>>17825401
Is there absolutely nothing you enjoy doing? Playing vidya, watching movies, sports, art, acting, etc.?
>>
Anhedonia.
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>>17825419
I used to like music, movies, tv series, books, games and working out but not anymore. None of my hobbies make me happy anymore

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What Is the difference between a man and a boy besides age? How do you know when you are dating a man ?
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A man is able to make compromises, love his significant other without jealousy, acknowledges when people need their own space, including his own...

He doesn't do any of the things you'd consider childish. Bullying would be something like that. A Man also knows how to provide for himself, and stands on his own two feet in life, without being dependant. (Basically if he's a decent adult he's doing it right. It's the same with Women.)
>>
Independence.
>>
Just general signs of maturity.

>able to handle responsibility, understands that both a relationship and many other aspects of adult life take energy and work
>able to handle his emotions, there's flying off the handle and flying off the handle... there's a difference between yelling in frustration or saying anything he can think of to hurt you then going "oh I didn't mean it, I was just pissed and trying to tear you down"
>can own up to his share in problems...
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I'm a 110kg (243lb), un-athletic, shortsighted loser.
My friends are dwindling away, one by one. I can't pass my exams. No social life. My only talents are clarinet (I'm not that good at it). Never had a SO.
Starting to think that suicide is the only option.
Any thoughts?
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>>17825352
Don't.
Never lose hope, life will bring you something good. Don't give up
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>>17825390
Thanks, Anon!
I'm glad that someone will listen.
Even if it's anonymous
>>
>>17825352

If you think that suicide is viable option it means you dont care much how people see you.

Try martial arts. Like judo wrestling or something where mass is a plus.

Just be persistent. Think how good you will be if you train for 1 year.

Then after 1 year you will remind yourself of this thread and you will think how stupid you were for even considering suicide.

Be strong OP, be persistent.

set up ambitious goals for yourself

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This june I finally graduated from virginitty.

Since then I've had sex with 3 different girls, sometimes more than one time, and even raw.

Problem is, I do not feel much pleasure from having sex. I love the feeling of skin to skin touch, cuddling and foreplay, and I do cum every time with no problem, but I honestly feel no pleasure from it. Not much. Like my everyday wank is better than any sex I've had. Oral sex was the shit but sex itself is jsut... plain? I don't know how to explain it. It's like a cum from a mechanic action, not for actual...
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Sex is boring, welcome to the club.
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>>17825335
Don't know how you can make a post like that without mentioning if you're circumcised or not, but what you're describing is a common result of having the foreskin removed from your benis.
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>>17825375
I am not circumcised and yeah, I can easily remove The skin when needed

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my penis is nothing impressive girth wise (not pathetic, just average,) but it's length is 7 inches fully erect.

after being a Technically-not-kissless-but-still-celibate virgin my whole i finally managed to get a girlfriend and after a our relationship got far enough i brought up sex. I learned that she has had sex with 2 other guys and i told her that i was a virgin. She wants to have sex with me during the weekend and i need some insight on how having a dick like mine will affect the experience.

p.s femanons feel free to be 100% honest in regards to the...
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This is a non problem
You're far too into your head
You don't have a micro penis
Relax
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>>17825308
>are there any girls that like LENGTH more than girth?

Good heavens no. There's kind of a minimum standard for length and you're good, after that it just gets uncomfortable when you jab her cervix.

Girth is the gift that keeps giving.
>>
I like it average in length and girth. Would rather have it slightly below average than slightly/way above average, srs.

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I told the dumb bitch I don't see how it was MY fault. She's the one that was dressed like a slut and then went up to some drunk guy's dark apartment.

And besides, she knows I get like that when I'm drunk.
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>>17825295

So trolls are getting less sophisticated...
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>>17825299
Were they ever sophisticated?
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>>17825295
If she was raped and didn't go to the police immediately, it wasn't a rape. It might of been, but how do you know for sure? If she was truly raped she should go to the cops to make sure that her rapist is off the streets and in jail. So if she doesn't she's a piece of shit.

"She's the one that was dressed like a slut and then went up to some drunk guy's dark apartment."

She cheated on you and is looking for an excuse to make herself not feel as bad.

Dump...
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How to fucking deal with back pain? Or more specifically with lower back pain? I've gotten an office job and it's absolutely fucking horrible, I basically cannot sit anymore when I get back home. The pain subsides after I do not sit for a while but it comes right fucking back the moment spend some time on a chair. I'm only 21, and not overweight, so I don't get it why I'm having these issues.
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Exercise. Use a standing desk.
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Sit with your lumbar properly positioned as if your about to sit on a toilet seat. Too many people sit incorrectly and fuck up their backs. Consider foam rolling your back too
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Stretch out. Go to a yoga class or two and get the fundmentals down of stretching your back and hamstrings.

Then start doing exercises that will strengthen your back. Look in YouTube. Plenty of vids from PT's.

If it's an actual injury to your spine, good luck.

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I want to go overseas and help less fortunate people. I'm 24 years old and I have no skills, qualifications, work experience, references and I am unemployed. I also have schizophrenia and epilepsy but that is controlled by meds. Also, I live with my dad.

Does anyone know how I could go about doing something like this?

There are thousands of charities out there but they require people to pay 5,000-10,000 dollars to be able to go overseas and a lot of those places are little more than resorts, especially the Christian ones. When I go on their websites the most...
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>>17825182
you want someone else to pay for your trip?
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>>17825182

keep looking and see what you can find. save up a little money so you have the option but aim low.

don't be selfish about how you give. if collecting money helps people, then whats wrong with doing it?

what you want relaly is glory, to be able to see the gratitude. its not the worst thing in the world, but if you arent willing to put in some time, dont bother.

go work at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen for awhile. talk to them and network with other volunteers. they'll give...
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This. Part of being charitable is spending your OWN money to help those who need it. You're not some sort of celebrity who should have it paid for them, they don't give a fuck if you go or not.

How does one function after having become crippelingly indifferent? Past the sads and the anger, I don't feel inhibited in doing things I want to do but I don't feel driven by my sentiments. Also I'd appreciate your thoughts on healthy and unhealthy mentalities.

View on mentality development stages:

Childish: Optimism
Maturing: Cynical
Adult: Indifference

Optimism: lying to yourself or ignorance, willful or otherwise, the longer you keep it up the longer you have had what you wanted. Overemphasis on sentiments/feeling.

Cynicism:...
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>>17825181
No pointers anyone?
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I just drown myself in my books and my beer and try to forget about people.
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>>17825376
I do the exact same thing but I resent the thought of being content so easily and with so little.

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What are the legal reprecussions of beating the absolute shit out of my ex? I can get a good lawyer
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what did she do
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>>17825175
what did he do? is he a rapist now that you broke up!!?
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what did xir do?

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I took xtc friday but now everyday around 6 i get real emotional and panicky while in the morning ill feel fine

Wtf is going on?!! First pill too
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Bump dude
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>>17825131
fucked me up for 9 days after my first time, how long has it been for you, OP?
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>>17825150

2 days its over now thank god

I'm meeting girls, dating and sleeping with them and stuff, but whenever I think "do I actually like this person?" The answer is always no. I can think of one girl in the past two years I actually enjoyed being around aside from banging.

What's the problem and how do I fix it?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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If you're in your twenties it's fine, people at that age are mostly unstable wrecks and you shouldn't get too attached.
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>>17825021
Read Mrs Dalloway.
Are you meeting these girls in bars or through hobbies? If you did meet them through stuff you enjoy you might enjoy being around them more.
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>>17825021

Pick girls you have things in common with. I'm not talking about hobbies. Just life plans that align is good. Also, pick interesting girls.

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How do I learn to express myself in ways that aren't completely fucking retarded?

Apparently I bit a guy again last saturday. I was blackout drunk and it has been so long since I last did that it didn't occur to me to warn people. Evidently he's stuck his dick in crazy before and did take it for an expression of affection (as, I should mention, I also bit our host, whom he knows is a good friend of mine), but I regardless thiroughly embarrassed myself in front of people, and I'd like to not do it again.

Drinking less alcohol would be the most...
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>>17825014

Alcohol impares your judgement. Stop drinking so much. If you had enough self control to stop biting people, you would have enough self control to drink less.
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>>17825028
Well, I really don't.

How do you make life without alcohol less bleak and actually worth living?
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>>17825046

Then your problem goes beyond learning to communicate. Work on your life. Hang out with different people. Change jobs. Do something to be happier.

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Hi /adv/! I was thinking about cutting my hair shoulder lenght and dying it dark brown. I don't know if it's a good idea though, I'm scared that it might not look good on me. What should I do?
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ask /fa/ also

LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
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>>17824958
Shoulder length would work fine for you, personally I prefer long hair but that's just my personal tastes in women's looks. It's hard to judge if dark brown dye is better than what you have now, but it would look fine I'm
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>>17824958
I don't feel like you have a good face shape for short hair, personally

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A kid from my previous high school just got a scholarship to study at Harvard University, meanwhile I'm studying at a less than prestigious university in New Zealand and I'm already a year behind my fellow classmates.

Have I effectively fucked up my life senpai, should I just kill myself?

ITT: career & education regrets and advice
8 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17824952

it's not the end of the world, OP. you can still have a successfull and happy life even if you're not a harvard graduate. for every successful and happy harvard graduate there are thousands of successful and happy non-harvard graduates.
>>
I'm in highschool but I'm 22 *coughs* ... Sorry I have a cold... Anyway where did you go wrong Brew? Sorry I can't help but it'd be good to know. Also moar to life than money and Prestige, dw about it.
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>>17824952
No, just calm down and finish your classes.

Also, fuck that Harvard fuck.

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Alright /adv/, I need some help.

A little background: I have had the same 12 friends for about 15 years now, I'm 27.
My home life growing up was pretty terrible and my friends are very much my family. I see all of them as my brothers and sisters.
I have never dated anyone inside my friend group, and never really had any want to date any one of them. (I'm pansexual / male)

Well, last night I goofed. Fucking Goofy Movie level goofed.

Friends name is "J" for the sake of this post, is a he, and is bisexual. He's been in a relationship...
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Cont.
>...
>2 hours pass I can tell he is not asleep
>Roll over and ask "J, you ok? I can tell you're not sleeping."
>"Idk anon, I just can't sleep."
>He reshuffles himself in an odd manner
>Suddenly I feel his leg on my leg and he isn't moving it.
>I roll over and his back is facing me
>I...
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Bump? I have no idea how slow/fast this board is.
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Another bump.

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I'm extremely asocial, to the point of complete avoidance even to my neighbors. I don't like to be around people, hear about people, talk about people, talk with people, etc.

Anytime I'm around people that I didn't personally take the step to initiate the closeness (in sight/hearing range), I think about ways to wanting to kill them (usually a pen/pencil/knife to the throat/eyeballs/ear). This makes me bit afraid so I shut myself off once more.

Although I could be called extremely rational by people that I know of and I would never do these...
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>>17824925
I deal with that just fine. You stay away from me and I'll stay away from you.
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>>17824998
You stay away from me and I'll stay away from you.

Thats my motto. I only interact with people when its official business.
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>>17825026
Not the guy you replied to, firstly. People will read this and think it's too harsh, but when your whole life you have been nothing but used by other people as a prop for the own emotional, financial or entertainment purposes because you're too naive and clueless about the world, this is a very good defense.

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Essentially I dated a girl at age 17 for 2 years, on and off for one year, and spoke to for 1 year. I am now 22. I cut off communication with her last november, and today she wanted to reconcile and hang out so I said yes. Long story short I forced her to tell me something she didn't want to and said she slept with my best friend. Basically they met up as friends a couple of months after I cut communication with her and fucked in his car, and then they fucked again last monday after she broke up with her boyfriend. The worst part is due to her home situation, self esteem BS, and transportation it was hard to fuck. We were both virgins, we met up 4 times after her mom left the country and tried to fuck but I was 18, and the sheer nervousness didn't let me get it up, even though I would when I got bj's from her. She stated she was depressed and broke up with er man for something petty and wanted more than nothing to get back together with him again, because she finally had something stable.

I tried many times between 2014 and 2015 to hook up, we made out like 5 times, I literally had my dick hard and ready to go one time in her car but she just waned to make out. I didnt even have condoms now that I think about it. One week after that I called it off.

So basically my best friend took her penetrative virginity, he then made 5 more passes at her and succeeded last monday. Mind you this is after I had sort of a falling out with him two weeks ago, so it looks like it was out of spite. Hes the dude that prior to this around mid 2015 he was already getting girls on tinder, my ex was just another tally for him. It was understandable if he hooked up with her once and told me. But didn't. There were time when id tell him "hey dude anon messaged me" and hed say "yeah dude dont worry about her shes not worth her time" all while having fucked her and trying consistently to. And he also once said that out of respect for me when we first broke up in 2013 hed never try to fuck her
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Im not upset at losing a friend, or upset at losing this chick, im upset that my first truly wasnt my first and that this dude has been watching from the shadows and took advantage. I can obviously say "fuck these hoes" and move on. But what im seeking is some anons with similar situations to relate. My goal is to just lose weight (230lb 5'10' right now) and just move on, but im basically a virgin at 22 and this loss of time is weighing down on me tremendously. I tried to meet girls in between those spots of not being with her, but I never took true initiative...
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>>17824897
>this loss of time is weighing down on me tremendously
You didn't lose your time just because you didn't have sex with her. Seriously not everything is about sex.

I have been almost 2 years with my current gf and I am sure i'd be mad as fuck if my best friend fucks her a couple of years later without telling me.

Just focus on losing weight and forget about them. Try not to look back. And please just ignore them. Do not get involved again with either.
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>>17824996
thank you anon.

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Interested in becoming a teacher. What would you recommend?

I want to teach:
Film, IT, English and History (as preferences).

But what two subjects would you recommend adding to my degree in major (6 subjects) and minor (4 subjects).

History, English or Film and Media. Mind you, English has Film units but I wanna see what the public would recommend.
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English and IT are the most useful if you ever want to work abroad.
Film is really fun, but less practical than English/IT. The job market will also be smaller.
History is OK, but it's pretty fucking dry. However, if that's your thing, go ahead. Keep in mind that the job market will be decent, but that opportunities abroad will be less than English/IT (but more than film, probably).

My advice, do English with the Film unit, and IT on the side possibly. I've done a BA in English with a Film minor, and I plan to learn some programming/IT stuff on the...
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>>17824908
Thank you for the response. That pretty much sums up what I had to ask. I have intentions to go overseas aswell with the degree so go figure. Thanks a bunch!
>>
>>17824947
If you want to go overseas, you should also look into a TEFL/CELTA certification, which is required by most places overseas. Having an English degree helps loads, not only with understanding the subject material, but also with the chance of being accepted.

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Girlfriend was raped
How do I get her to leave my appartement?
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Kill yourself.
Also
>Appartement
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>>17824845
shouldn't have let her in after she was raped
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>>17824845
>>17824845
2/10 bait.

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Ok so I'm straight (as far as I know) and I met a girl at school and I sat next to her, I was so embarrassed as I got really flushed and started to get wet. I've only ever got wet by boys while sitting next to them. Does this mean I'm bi-sexual?
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yeah probably
>>
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My parents are extremely homophobic though... and I feel so wrong because I'm pratically convince I'm bi-sexual.
>>
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But I really don't want people knowing I'm bi-sexual because I feel like people will treat me like some kind of outcast. My grandparents are really religious and my grandad was in the US army.. So he's really backward

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Thinking about cutting my hair, but I am not sure what hair style to get.

What hair style would fit my beard the best?
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>>17824801
On the astronomically small chance this isn't a poor attempt at baitposting. Go to a decent hair dresser and ask them to "tidy" you up. Say you want to keep the facial hair and let them trim it and your hair up. Long and unkempt hair/facial hair is unappealing.
>>
>>17824804
Thanks
>>
get this one

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How does a psychopath react to being left out of a group?

Need to know
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>>17824798
Depends on if they care. Usually narcissistic and will eventually integrate themselves somehow whether it be turning the group members against one another or be charismatic or maybe even nothing. Depends on the individual.
>>
They don't.
If they're a psychopath with narcissistic tendencies then they'll probably insert themselves in the group and try to be centre of attention.
>>
>>17824821
>>17824824
And if they dont succeed?

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I somehow can't lose any more weight. I've always been 10-15kg overweight. I can't manage to lose these kilos. For the last 2 weeks, I did a 30min workout every morning, only drank water and ate around 1500-1700kcal of healthy fresh food (I've always done that tho). However, my weight has stayed the same. How can this be? Should I see a doctor?
17 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Go down to 1300 cal if you want to see quicker results
But its only been two weeks I would wait for another two

Or maybe you're not counting calories correctly

I would not see a dr quite yet
>>
Figure out your BMR, eat less than that in calories, maybe 500 cal deficit.

Make sure not to overeat after exercising

Count calories accurately

Get 8 hours of sleep per night

Give it time
>>
>>17824709
Height and weight? Body-fat percentage? If you're a tiny little fuck, 10kg is a *LOT*. It'll show up really clearly.

If you're a big son of a bitch it won't make any difference in appearance. Example; me.

>193cm, 105kg
>drop 17kg
>barely look different at all

My ex was 170cm tall, 68kg. Dropped a few down to 61, HUGE change.

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Best way to find cool girls to talk to?I want a girl I can be friends or more with that's into stuff like games and anime. I only know one and she's awesome but I'm pretty sure she's taken and I'm not really sure how to ask without fucking up our friendship
10 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Often girls (and guys) like that are very closed in and usually neets. Girls are more likely to go to expos and cosplay though.

The girl that I met who likes gaming and anime, I met at a managing anxiety course. It makes sense because a large majority of us are socially inept in some shape or form.

Tbh she'd be the ultimate girlfriend but she's a self-proclaimed asexual lesbian, so meh. She's a really good friend though.
>>
>>17824708
I'm going to a con soonish but I feel that if I just try and pick up girls I'll look like a creep
>>
>>17824717
Just ask for their social media then flirt with them on there

Traveling to America next week. What type of chips should I buy? What brand, flavor, type, etc.
15 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17824658
Please. I am very excited to try American chips/snacks!
>>
I rarely eat chips but:
hot cheetos nigga, the hot ones
lays barbecue
sun chips for the giggles, they give these to kids in school
utz chips
fritos chile cheese smell like dick
takis, dont leave the states without having tried these. Theyre mexican but a must for junk food lovers

try the nonbigname brands, they're sometimes better
just go and try what seems appealing to you
>>
>>17824692
I went on google and there is no such thing as a hot cheetos nigga flavor. You mean hot cheetos?

Thanks anyway.

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Need help. I love in an Asian country where a big part of our culture is respect for elders even if it is just a few years difference. There is the young woman I met, daughter of a family friend. She's 19 and she adresses me with all the honorifics on me. I want to get to know her and ask her out I also want to break this seniority thing that divides us. I don't want her to think I'm this elder that needs to respect and feel imferior too. I want to see me as a man and not as "older brother" or worse "uncle". How do I go about this?
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>>17824607
Which country, OP?
To bend the culture to your favor it must first be understood.
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>>17824613
Philippines. I just turned 30
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>>17824619
>flips
>Interest.exe disengage

Sorry but no. Just ask her out to something fun and have fun with her. Consider getting a racial transplant, btw.

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>met this girl through friends, smoked together a lot as a group
>alone(ish) together on campus for thanksgiving
>we get lunch, dinner together etc, have really deep conversations
>invites me to get high with her
>go over because why not, start to cuddle up to each other
>I'm very high and we ended up making out and feeling each other up for like 5 hours straight (didn't seem as long)

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>>17824606
>Is it strange that she hasn't bought it up yet?
You haven't brought it up either, so you tell me. Why are you expecting her to make ALL the moves? She invited you over last time, now you invite her. Or just say "hey I had a great time the other night, wanna hang out again?" Don't let too much time pass or she'll think you didn't like it, girls can be very insecure you know. it's like damn son just be a person
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>>17824616
I've hinted at the fact that I enjoyed getting high with her, not about making out and stuff though. It's very hard because we normally hang out in a group. Should I just pm her or is that too beta?
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>>17824616
We'll we usually hang out in a group, but I've hinted I enjoyed getting high with her that night. Should I message her about it or is that too beta?

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My best friend is in a rough patch with his gf and I don't know what to tell him
Basically she wants to get their relationship "open" and see other people although it seems she does love him for real (I don't really know for sure though cause I don't know her all that much)

On the one hand, he loves her too and a lot and he's terrified of leaving her (last relationship was catastrophic and he is very intense and very lonely in general)
On the other, he couldn't stand it morally to sit by while she sees other people and although...
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If he loves himself and has self-respect he won't accept it and their relationship will probably go slowly down the shitter.

If he is a pussywhipped beta with oneitis, which i think it's the case, he will let her and will suffer silently until he snaps.

Either way this relationship is doomed because they are not compatible.
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>>17824583
If she wants to have the relationship open then she doesn't love him for real.

If she won't commit and he's as serious about her as he says he needs to drop her
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I'm not a relationship guru but the concept of an open relationship sounds so retarded. I've been sleeping with a girl who's in an open relationship with her bf and everything she tells me about their relationship makes it sound so disconnected and on a path to collapsing.

If I was in your situation, OP, I would stay out of it and only offer advice if he's really struggling or asking for your perspective. Should the worst happen, be there for him.

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Community college freshman here. Currently majoring in Comp Sci. Should I transfer to a 4-year after my year here, or stick with CC for 2 years? I'm afraid of missing out on internship opportunities by staying here, but I also don't like the CC environment despite how easy the classes are.

Thoughts?
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>>17824535
You seem to have answered it yourself
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>>17824565
The best benefit I'm getting is saving a ton of money. So, I really don't know what to do.
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>>17824567
As a compromise between those, I'd say stick with CC to get your prerequisites out of the way (any general education classes or whatever), then transfer to a four-year university with those credits. If you plan it out correctly, you'll be able to go from CC straight to a course load that only relates to your major, which will make you feel less like you're wasting money at the more expensive school.


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