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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 411. page
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File: 1458275799975.png (262 KB, 446x456) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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i think my dick got bigger. i'm 26 so this doesn't make any sense.

i'm a pretty smart guy and i consider myself to be rather perceptive of my surroundings. i fucking know my dick and i know it well.

i'm sitting here and i'm holding my erect penis and i can't stop asking myself "did my dick get bigger? what's going on?" it's not just length either. it feels "fuller" with added girth.

i haven't lost weight nor had any big shifts in body composition. i've always been real lean.

i wait...
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Ok, tell us exactly what you did to achieve this, pls.
>>
Did you dick feel different during this period while it was growing?
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>>17546910
i have done nothing different else i would give detail. i suppose the only thing that is sticking out in my memory is...

>>17546933
... i have consistently been getting full mast morning wood for the past week or so? like, i have always had a slight erection in the morning but the past week has been noticeably stronger and harder. i can't tell if this is the chicken or the egg but it is something i've made a mental note about.

i've been...
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Talk me out of getting an escort right now.

Life is shit, relationship with gf is unfulfilling, work sucks and friends are moving forward with marriage/lives

My person is all that is left of my life. Should I not satisfy this person's carnal desires?
15 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17546860
why is your gf unfulfilling?
>>
Talk you out of the best decision you'll make in your life? Why would I do that?
>>
You'll just feel like shit afterwards and end up even more depressed.

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I met this guy thought my work about 5 months ago and we started seeing each other.


I really like him a lot, But i was drunk last weekend and googled his name when i was bored and it showed in a state news website he had been arrested for having a large amount of marijuana in 2008 during a traffic stop

From the quantity in the news article (31 pounds) I'm sure he went to jail or prison, But he never told me.
What should i do?
20 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Do you guys smoke together? Do you not do drugs? I'd just bring up drugs with him. At the end of the day, googling your significant other isn't wrong, its a good call in case they did something crazy.
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>>17546849
Why would he bring up baggage from 8 years ago?

It's not a big deal, and if you ask him about it, he'll probably have a story for you if you pretend that it doesn't bother you, and you're act genuinely interested. Otherwise he'll probably just say "Yep, that happened." and leave it at that.
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>>17546854
I don't. I used to when I was younger but kind of grew out of it. I don't know if he smokes it, if he does he doesn't do it often because I'm around him a lot

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I have not gone to any classes in the last 3 years of the private college I'm enrolled it. My GPA is below 1. This is the 4th year and my dad is going to start asking questions. My friends are already starting to form families and move out of this shithole (Istanbul). All I want to do is get a house and a job abroad either in America or Europe. Right now that looks pretty unlikely. No motivation to study for the entry exam again. I feel like I'm going to die here here working a minimum wage job while people move on. My cousin who has been a close friend since 5 years...
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>>17546842
so just go to your classes wtf?
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>>17546842
>My GPA is below 1
I'm having a hard time believing you. At least in the US, you get one semester to bring your GPA above a 2 or you're kicked out. Hell, if you miss too many classes some of the schools here auto-withdraw you.
>>
>>17546852
I don't want to be a teacher. None of the classes feel any relevant to teaching at all. It feels like a huge waste of time and money.I never liked school but if I don't enjoy something I can never force myself to go through with it. I'm already depressed as is anyway.

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Hello guys I have problem.. since last few months I have problem with itching... At the morning its all okey I dont even think about it but after the lunch my body start itch on several places. Mostly the places where the clothes are move againts my skin (legs, foots, crotch, arms) I have tried to wear all cotton clothes but its the same as clothes with some plastic shit. Sometimes even small bumps appear (like mosquito bites)... Do anyone of you guys have idea what is going on? I even change my bed sheets, waching machine etc... Doctor said that I should look for what its causing......
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14 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Check your detergent, maybe it is causing an allergic reaction to your body.
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>>17546828
you could have bedbugs man....... this doesn't sound good.
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>>17546828
Scabies maybe, you can get it from everywhere/everybody basically. Go to a dermatologist to be sure.

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How do I eat pussy crazy good?

I first did it on Tuesday with my girlfriend and I've made her cum like 4 times already. But I want to learn mind blowing tricks that actually work. I don't mind links but as long as they're to good advice. Thanks.
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17546781
get fingers involved. trim your nails please.

if you're getting her to completion then just continue doing what you're doing. what works for my girl might not work for yours, etc.
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>>17546839
Oh yeah, I use fingers too. Works a treat. Any other tips?
>>
If you really want to learn you should read "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman" by Ian Kerner. It's not really worth it if you ask me though.

i need help with what reply to an estranged friend. I realised that they're toxic, and jealous that I've gone further career wise, but I miss our teenage days when competitiveness wasn't an issue.
me: Hi how's it going?
friend: good you?
me: paragraph about my trip to see family, free to chat this evening?
friend: (5 hours later) sorry can't work :(

I don't want to be petty and look desperate to reach out if its unreciprocated. how do I respond without sounding upset by pathetic excuse without suggestion for another day?

one...
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16 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Why try and rekindle a relationship you know is toxic, especially if the other party doesn't want to either? Your teenage days are behind you both. You can enjoy the memories for what they are without remaining in contact with your friend.
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>>17546783
you are a wise man. i blame it on feeling nostalgic this morning. back to the text, how do I end it before deleting the number?
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>>17546785
keep in mind, I have a lot of pride.. I don't want them to think i've reached out because I'm friendless

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I'm the only virgin out of my little posse, and some of them were talking about their/their lovers packages while we were out on a group thing. I declined divulging my own stuff, mostly out of embarrassment. They were touting some pornstar numbers out there. I haven't really gotten any testimonials on my own equipment, so to speak. Still, I was curious.

Measuring twice (from the top, no pressing back against pelvic floor), I got 6-5/8" to 6 3/4". I'm currently trying to lose weight (50lbs) and heard that that can expose about an inch, but that's...
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Your vagina is completely normal.

(^can we make this a copypasta for every insecure girl thread on this board)
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>>17546770
>said their most memorable experiences were with people around 9", and my friends have bragged about even greater lengths
Unless they've all fucked the same guy, the one with the biggest penis in the state, it's statistically improbable that half a dozen friends have even shaken hands with someone packing a 9er, to say nothing of bumping uglies.
The numbers said, by both boys and girls, are a social nicety with no contact with reality.
The average dick in the...
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>>17546786
I don't know if my vagina specifically is anywhere near normal.

>>17546796
>The numbers said, by both boys and girls, are a social nicety with no contact with reality.

Oh, that's a bit of a relief.

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the one in the middle
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>>17546768

A pussy is a pussy, m8. I would go for it. Really goes for your standards, actually.
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>>17546774
i mean a like her tits but not her face
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>>17546768
Looks a lot like a girl I dated in highschool.

Was the summer of 03. Brings back a lot of memories, actually....

Oh, to be that age again...

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How do I respond to this? She's kept dodging it even though she agreed to it earlier, now she says her room mate is somehow telling her she can't bring anymore people over because she does it too much, she wants to go to the library with me
Should I just move on or what?
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Its because you ask too many times like a creep dumbass.
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>>17546728
how long have you known this grill?
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>>17546732
Not very long, I was at her place once before like a week ago

Something tells me she is lying about her room mate
But then again I do remember meeting her roommate not too long ago and she was a paranoid defensive bitch so maybe she is telling the truth

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As a 20-something female, I’ve been in an engagement for years now. At first I believed my fiancée’s "opinions/ suggestions" that I needed to address before becoming his "Mrs. Right". So I now cook, clean, gotten heavily into his hobbies, pretty much gave up my family, and even “preform in the bedroom” however he pleases, whenever he pleases... I’ve gained and lost weight according to his whims… I spend many hours each weekend planning meals and shopping, spending my own money, and the few free hours (after full-time work) in the evenings cooking/cleaning,...
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drop him, who could like such a person?
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>>17546696
Low quality bait, anon
>>
I'm a guy and I say drop his ass. You've already given him way to much power in the relationship and he will never respect you. He is keeping you because it's comfortable and he's to much of a pussy to risk being single and not being able to find another girl. Fuck him you deserve someone that loves and respects you. Next relationship don't devote your entire life to a guy, girls like you always end up with guys that don't respect them and cheat on them because you think you need a man to validate your existence and give you a purpose. You are who you are and that's not gonna change so find a guy that actually appreciates that kind of complete submission from a woman and won't just take advantage of it... That's gonna be hard cause even a great guy will subconsciously start to take that kind of complete submission for granted. I guess kind of like good guys always getting friend zoned but opposite. You are over qualified for him you are a heart surgeon working at a gas station get a new job lol.

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Long story short. I was cuddling with a guy in bed, felt he had a boner so started giving him a handjob which turned into a blowjob. He kept picking up my hand and moving it to his dick so i thought he just wanted a hj and no bj, so I did that. Eventually he cums, and we go to bed.

Few days later he tells me he found it uncomfortable and when I ask about what he was doing with his hand he said he was trying to move it away from his dick.

Advice? Should I kill myself? I feel like I don't deserve to live. Pic unrelated
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17546693
Why would you bring it up? I think that was one of those things that you both know happened, but never ever talk about between yourselves, or others.

Kind of like that episode of South Park where Jew Dad and Randy jerk off in the hottub together.

I did it with one my friends back in the day, and after that it was never brought up again.
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>>17546700
He did. He said I'd done something that made him uncomfortable
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>>17546749
So, you're stroking this dude, he's egging you on, you blow him until he nuts in your mouth, and now he's uncomfortable?

He could've gotten you to stop at any time, but instead decides to get a happy ending?

Drug him up, rape his mouth, take pictures, and tell him to fuck off. Worst case scenario, you go to jail for 3 months with good behavior, and he's forever a blackmailed homosexual.

Even if they don't say it, they all saw those pictures of a dick in his mouth that you posted public on his facebook wall.

Ok, adv, tell me how to tell "what are you" or "what are you standing on" with a girl. Anf please, treat me like a complete autist, make your answers plain as fuck
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>>17546677

ask her
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>>17546727
What
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>>17546677
>"what are you"
>"what are you standing on"
what are you trying to know with these question?

File: -.jpg (178 KB, 477x594) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Im addicted to big nice asses, is this normal? Am I normal?
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There is literally nothing wrong in like nice and thick asses, my friend.
Let's finish our journey to find the perfect thick ass
Godspeed, OP.
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>>17546701

I have a girlfriend..but still addicted to them..is that normal too?
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>>17546720
Different anon here, but I have a similar issue, my friend.
>Used to only date thick girls
>Was addicted to big ass and giant tiddies
fate works in mysterious ways
>Met a beautiful young woman who was thin and waifish.
>Completely different than anyone I'd been with.
>10/10 personality, shares a lot of my interests, very intelligent, and genuinely one...
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the kid who bullied me in school is now famous and pretending he was bullied in school.
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>>17546640
lmao you're probably making this up but if you gave this story to some shitty tabloid they'd have a field day and it'd be hilarious POST RESULTS ANON
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>>17546640
Every fucking singer/actor is jumping on this bandwagon now a days.
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>>17546640
Tell your story anon

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Ive been applying for warehouse jobs lately and ive been getting some calls but no interviews. Basically goes like this

>Phone rings
>Answer it straight away. "Hello, this is anon"
>HR lady: "Hello anon its anonette from warehouse place you applied for, how are you today?"
>Me: "Good thank you"
>HR lady: "ahh right. Okay, we have considered your application and we would like for you...
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then just call her back?
i dont see the problem here
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>>17546639
I shouldnt have to. How can she be so incompetent. How can you say youre going to do something and then not do it?

I waited too long. It's too late now
>>
Same thing happened to me. I called and got an interview.....

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Ok my brother is a drunk idiot who embarasses himself alot.

He lives with my parents and i usually travel for work.


I am thinking they are treating him badly. He lives outside of our yard. They give him food once a day and water once a day about a litre or so.


I want to help him but they say if I help by buying him food or getting him more water I am not allowed to come back here. Thats fine I guess, but if I dont come back he is in trouble either way. I talk to him for a bit everyday he is a nice guy and friendly, but my parents hate his drinking.

What...
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Also its hot where we live so he is constantly dehydrated.

Can I just call cops here in america so they can help him? He told me jail would be better than staying outside constantly.
>>
How old is he?

and yes. You should dial 911. because if you're being serious and this isn't a troll. Then that's a real fucking problem.

call the Police
>>
I hate to tell you this but you can't help him. He has a bigger problem than not getting enough to eat. He needs to want help, and it seems he doesn't. I'm sorry, anon, living with an alcoholic isn't easy

File: tinddd.jpg (45 KB, 560x415) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Ive been using tinder and I just recently found a girl who is really into ass stuff I guess. She really wants to eat my ass and ive never had that happen before. She wants me to eat hers aswell though. Should I do it? Mine is kinda hairy so should I shave? Or how does this all work?
34 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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How do you even find girls like that on Tinder? Almost every girl I match says they are not looking for hookups. Either real relationships or they use the app to troll
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>>17546618
This. And there's lots of fatties too...

My guess is OP found a bot.
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>>17546608
>shaving your ass

deep regret will follow.

do you get that tingly feeling when something goes near your pooper? then you'd probably like a little ass play.

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Started 5th year and huge tests coming up, problem is my maths teacher has one of the best asses ive ever seen and its really
distracting. What can i do /adv i cant fail this class.
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>>17546573
use ass to motivate urself, look @ it but listen to the content, capitalize on your hot cher
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>>17546591
That's not how a male mind works. You see a good ass and you fantasize over it until is out of sight.

OP fap before that class?
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>>17546599
Nah senpai, school toilets are covered in piss and shit not a place you wanna fap in.

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Started a digital media design course today, there are a handful of autists/sperglords and shit like that. They keep trying to talk to me and I tell them I'm not interested but they don't get it. How do I deal adv?
12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17546550
>why am i so much better than everyone
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>>17546554
It's not even like that, it's always uncomfortable and awkward to be around, the teachers are always noticeably cringing. One of them keeps blasting everyone about some Nintendo character named iago I just want to have a normal class experience
>>
Would I be correct in assuming that you are female and they are male?

Next time one of them does this, tell him politely but firmly to go away. If he persists, drop the politeness and tell him to back the fuck off. If he still persists, slap him.

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I need advice chaps. How bad does this look?

Left image is fine at the moment, but my other cheek (right) is erratic and I just accidentally cut a chunk out.

> Barber trimmed left cheek during hair cut
> He didn't touch the right cheek
> Decide to trim right cheek at home
> Accidentally fuck up

It's a lot more noticeable in the flesh.

Should I start fresh, or try and salvage it? I've got a number of social...
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Also, I feel it's not long or thick enough to warrant getting a professional to trim it.

I'm planning to buy one, but currently don't have a decent trimmer.
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>>17546547
What I always do with my beard although it's thicker than yours but Not as thick with people with curly beard hair have it. Mine is like your wispy and long and as straight as beard hair will ever be except full compared to yours.

I just pass a number 2 guard over my beard and mustache and then use a straight edge razor to line it up, mainly the sides (cheeks). Get a straight edge razor and just practice. I do mine myself and it saves me time and money and I've gotten pretty good at it although I've...
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>>17546547
also that guy did a really shitty job. The left pic could be brought down ever so slightly to get a more uniform line instead it's bump as fuck and dips in as you get towards the ear. The right yea it looks like nothing was done to it be even consider your "fuck up" it looks like you didn't do anything.

You have to remember literally anyone can and is a barber that charges 10-20 for a haircut. Honestly it seems like in white communities the quality is even shittier because they almost never...
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How do I avoid shaving rashes and ingrown hairs, /adv/? I much prefer wet shaving (single blade safety razor) than elctric, but unfortunately I can't shave without breaking out horribly on my neck and chin area. I've tried everything from antibiotics to exfoliants and I avoid touching my face at all times, but nothing has helped so far. I thought it would get better as I aged, but it hasn't so far...
Any tips?

My derm couldn't help me either, btw. Gave me disinfectant that didn't do shit.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17546502

I use salicylic acid. I buy it at an apothecary. It has a better success rate than anything I've tried, but I still get the rashes monthly.

It works best when I shave in the morning:

-Apply aftershave after shaving 8am-ish
-Apply salicylic acid at around 17.00
-Apply salicylic acid for the second time before I go to sleep around 22:00 or later
-Apply salicylic acid in the morning if I don't have to shave, then again at 17:00 and 22ish.
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>>17546502
I dunno, I just stick to the electric. I either have stubble, or a beard.

Fuck that baby face bullshit.
>>
>>17546502
Op you should try
1. Using a very sharp blade. Most razors made for men are very good so this usually isnt a problem
2. Use adequate shaving cream
3. Shave WITH the grain. The reason why you're getting ingrown hairs is the result of the shape of the hair edge.

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What's the deal with hobbies? I know the real reason to have hobbies is to do what YOU like and feel good about yourself. But it's clear that a person with cool hobbies can look interesting to others.

The thing is my main hobbies are writing stories and making indie games. I think of these two as really personal and I don't like sharing them with people I meet in real life. I know they say any hobby can look interesting if you talk about it passionately but the fact that I hide these makes me nervous when people ask me what do I do in my free time. Should...
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>>17546500
Lifting and muay thai here.
Writing stories sounds cute, making games sounds impressive to me. This is where your heart and passion lies, why hide it and why not share it.
>>
bro the fact that you have a hobby period is cool 99% of people have netflix as their hobby. Don't be embarrassed of your hobby it is cool. You can tell people your hobby and you don't have to share what you write.
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>>17546500

I write too.
I don't hide the fact that I'm writing. I hide what I write. People I personally know and can critic my work are exceptions.

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I want to purchase this Puzzle. Can anyone help me find it anywhere?
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I found it in literally 5 seconds of googling.
>>
there are kids starving in Africa
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>>17546494
Imagine burning to death in your apartment because you can't unlock your door.

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How can you tell if you're too soft as a person
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>>
If you react too much
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>>17546439
If you cant bench/squat/deadlift 1 plate on each side then you're soft.

/thread
>>
>>17546447
I dunno son, I think most people could bench/squat/deadlift the smallest plates and then be like 'Oh, I'm not soft!'

Why is that the human race is so fucking pathetic?

>cheating
>lying
>manipulating

People will go through life saying they want better for themselves but they will die in their situation still saying those same words
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You think the human race is so fucking pathetic because you are. if you were literally the opposite you'd prove that the entire human race isnt.
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>>17546401
Because doing anything to survive is the name of the game

You're the only one playing by the rules
>>
>>17546401
Other species do the same things. It's part of the survival-of-the-fittest world. We just do it in more sophisticated ways than gorillas or cuckoos.

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how do i stop playing video games? im not addicted, im just depressed and have social anxiety disorder, and have no friends.

its the only time im at peace and feel free, and not constantly thinking about suicide, but to everyone else it looks like an addiction. i dont even have fun anymore playing games, its just the only thing i have to do, if im not playing games im sitting with my family, tv on in the background, looking at the wall wishing i was dead
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>>17546378
How old are you? While you may not have an addiction it sounds like a dependancy. Video games are amazing for escapism but it does nothing for your problems to go away. Sometimes games can make it worse by not addressing it.

Get one of your family to put the stuff away and then focus on yourself. Hobby, education. Sonething.
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>>17546395
21, my parents dont believe mental illness is a thing and my father is extremely controlling and is a major reason for the way i feel, he used to hit me for going to my friend's houses after school, then i stopped talking to people out of fear, now i have no friends and cant even go outside without feeling like shit

i have no hobbies and just dropped out of uni with depression and bullying
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Start small. Spend an hour a day or so trying to conquer your anxiety and depression. Work on self-CBT, go outside and sit in your backyard (sunlight is great for depression), exercise (physical activity has really promising results for reducing the severity of depression), if you can work up to it start going out on walks to clear your head, and eventually start practicing eye-contact with people and half-smiling when they go by.

Depression and anxiety will always be something that stays with you, so it's something you need to address and work to mitigate. Don't...
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I can't ask this on /biz/ because people keep trolling

I graduated last year from uni and still can't find a job. My major isn't the problem nor my resume; as my resume has been revised by paid professionals and I keep customizing it for each job. And my major is an analytical based one with research; but in this day and age people with irrelevant majors go in different fields, it doesn't matter

I'm honestly considering killing myself for a long time and am reaching the breaking point. Career services nor alumni help. Informational interviews...
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How many places are you contacting for work and how often? Are you sticking your nose up at jobs that might be "too entry level" in your opinion? Try to use one of your connections to help land you a job. Ask friends, alumni, veterans, whoever. It's how I got my first job and how a lot of people do. Social connections are a very important part, if an employee or friend of the boss recommends someone to be hired there's a good chance you will be too.
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>>17546396
>How many places are you contacting for work and how often?
15 job applications per day, 105? Range per week. Since August 2015, do the math.

>Are you sticking your nose up at jobs that might be "too entry level" in your opinion?
I'm applying for all entry level jobs and internships; with a few mid level stuff spread throughout in between that's requirements I know I can do well and beyond.

>Try...
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Don't kill yourself. Just go into a different field. Sucks but plenty of people do this, after finding out at the end of a long road that their career choice was terrible. Might have to do it myself.

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How do I tell if she actually likes me or just likes the idea of someone possibly being attracted to her and giving her attention?
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I ask myself that shit every day.
It's almost sure she doesn't like me but doesn't want to leave me either. I'm just an emotional resort for her, a means for validation.

I might as well leave her unless shit starts moving. My relationship's been awfully slow and dull.

What's your problem OP?
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>>17546365
>How do I tell if she actually likes me
you can gauge this by how far did you get with her, more often than not peepee in vagina means she likes you
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>>17546381
Basically this shy girl out of nowhere starts seeming really into me (and now for some reason I'm starting to he into her lol) but I don't know if it's only because she doesn't get a lot of attention or have a lot of friends

Only reason I've been thinking about it is since I've been gone a couple weeks (summer school had weird sessions) she's made friends with some other dude and now I'm wondering if that means she didn't really want ME specifically but just for...
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I'm not sure what to do. My mind have been preoccupied with things the last few years so girls hasn't been on my to-do list. But lately these past few weeks, I just have this strong desire or urge to go date. I don't even know why. I mean, I have absolutely 0 interest to ever get married or have kids. I'm expecting to die alone. But for some reason I have this desire to find a girl to date.. What should I do?

I mean, I'm 26 right now. In general I'm too busy with life to even begin to date. And on top of that, I'm moving across the country...
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Bump..
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>>17546319
Fuck you
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>>17546598

Thanks?


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