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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 42. page
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So recently I've been discouraged by Tinder, hoping to find someone that I could start a relationship. I know, it was pretty stupid of me to be hopeful like that on basically a hook up site. I've met at least a small handful of promising guys on there but I never got to go meet them in person to get to know them further. So I gave OkCupid a try. If you were lurking the last tinder thread then you might be familiar of a few experiences of mine and why I chose to give OkCupid a try. Anyways, so it hasn't been too different than tinder. Met a few weirdos here and there and some that are just not for me.
Like I mentioned before I'm not on there for a hook up, I want to spark a relationship. But after a while of having dead end conversations I came across one guy that has slightly changed my motivation.
He's very flirtatious and decent looking at best. I still want to know him on a personal level but now i'm tempted to give into more personal needs. Not necessarily giving up my virginity but it would be nice to cuddle someone, as he's put on the table. But I know that it will lead to something more than that. Have any other femanons here faced a similar situation? I'm very torn. I'm sick of being lonely but I don't want to just give in that easily. I still want to get to know other people in real life instead of starting off online. I was just tired of waiting for someone to come along.
24 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Should I give him a chance is what i'm asking here. Despite him obviously just wanting a hook up.
>>
Virginity is overrated. If he makes you wet and you like him, just do it
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>>17823983
Yea, you seem ready

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What do you do if you bring a girl home from a club, both drunk as fuck, get to bed, get frisky, strip off to underwear, foreplay, heavy petting, but then whenever it comes to actual sex (penetration) she closes up? This has happened with 2 different girls now and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong?

Are they just nervous, don't want to seem like sluts, not excited enough? What?
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>>17823902
Not every girl wants to fuck strangers. Even if they drunkenly stumbled into your bed.
>>
How long do you foreplay
Do you eat her out
Finger
Do you bring out a condom
What do they say
>>
>>17823923
And to elaborate further when it comes to one night stands the main thing is to make girls feel like you're not looking for a one night stand or just sex. They don't want to feel used (ok maybe a little)

Making out with them a lot, like you're mad into them, like you've never kissed a girl that hot
Don't reach for the down area till you're about to fuck pretty much
Grind on them
Tease them
Master the "I know you know you want it" confidence that doesn't...
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My friend keeps finding hot guys on tinder then complains about how they ended up just wanting sex. I keep telling her pretty much every guy on tinder wants sex but she won't listen to me. I also told her she could get stds if she isn't careful and she freaked out saying I scared her. What do?
15 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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put itching powder in her underwear
>>
Let her live you ball and chain ass bitch
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Not all guys are looking for strictly sex. However, sex should be a staple of a healthy relationship. Using tinder for finding a relationship is probably not ideal... it's more of a hook-up app and to be honest (trust me I know I'm one of these people) it's great for lazy people who just want to put in the minimum effort and hope for something decent to come out of it.

In my profile it says "looking specifically to date". Yea, I want sex (like any guy), but at the end of the day I just want dates mostly. If sex comes out of it that's a plus....
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Yeah fuck it, People that I thought were my friends really aren't. There's no one here for me. My Mum hates me, My dad is an alcoholic and doesn't care about shit. I'm out.
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>>17823841
no one is obligated to be there for you
same way for everyone
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>>17824079
Thanks Captain Obvious, good job being a detached sociopath.
>>
why not just move? seems killing yourself is a bit over the edge

TIFU: Female here. TRP relationship so please respect that.

Tonight SO wasn't paying enough attention to me during a serious conversation and like a fucking idiot I took his phone out of his hands. Obviously, he beat the shit out of me and stormed out.

Now he's apologizing (via text). What do I say to do as little damage as possible?

When he walked out I said he wouldn't be welcome back until he fixed the door he beat down (to a healthy "Fuck you"). Do I say nothing back and let him fix it? Do I accept the apology? What is the avenue...
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>>17823809

0/10

>>>/r9k/
>>
Lol it's not healthy idc what anyone says
It's fucked
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>>17823809
What do all these acronyms mean? Also what the fuck, is he beating you? Leave this chapter of your life immediately.

Girlfriend says she's been on birth control for the past five months. She wants me to finish inside her. Should I do it?
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Assuming she's telling the truth

Yea
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>>17823800
Do you trust her? It is literally the only thing you need to ask yourself to find your answer.
>>
Use a condom until you can be sure.

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So I swallowed a metal screw around four years old, nothing ever happened, would it still be in my stomach, and if so, is there anything to worry about?
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>>17823766
Have you shown any... screw-like properties?
>>
Yes, you're screwed.
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>>17823781
All he can do now is get hammered and wait.

Qhats the line between dominance and rape?

New girl loves being dominated, but how do I know when no really means no? Honestly have feelings for her, don't wanna hurt her, but she wants a savage. I'm more than down to do it, but where's the line? How do you know?


Pic unrelated
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safewords are a thing for exactly this reason
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Shameless self bump
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>>17823891
Did she tell you that no doesn't mean no? She might be like me and just enjoys a guy that's very take charge and a little rough. But for me no and stop mean what they mean.

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I'm in love with my best (female) friend.
I know she doesn't like me back because i asked her out once a year ago and she politely refused.

Now we got close again and the feelings returned.
Worth noting she is kinda messed up: has literally no friends other than me, terribly low self esteem and kinda depressed.

It's a lose/lose situation here, because if I don't tell her I will still suffer with these bottled up feelings.
But if I tell her and she inevitably rejects me once again and lose me as a friend, she will probably kill herself.

Please...
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>>17823750
It would be better if you just kept your feelings to yourself. If she seems to like you, go for it and tell her. If you feel like you have to tell her anyway, she doesn't have to lose you as a friend if she rejects you.
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>>17823750
hierarchy of needs

this girl obviously has other issues to worry about than your feelings for her

also you sound very young and immature, you use the concept of suicide so freely

grow up first, learn how to be a proper human being, your selfish take on your own feelings is clouding your judgement

relationships will come and go but some people cannot be replaced, regardless if you're dating or not

you'd be a fool to think otherwise
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>>17823750
Why doesn't she like you?

It's not really a friendship if you have unrequited love for her

I am pic related. My classmate I was talking about revealed last week in front of me that she had no boyfriend and they broke up. I assume this happened before she asked me out to the dinner and he just happened to be there, no conspiracy.

What should I do now?

My feelings for her have kinda come back and she even teased me a bit in class.
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>>17823734
don't trust girls

you aren't exactly a successful lad try yet

why not you work hard, get a good degree and a good job and let them come to you?

afaik the situation now seems highly suspect
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>>17823758
This is true, I'm trying to work hard but I want to escape from loneliness and I'm 22 and I feel that the window to do so is closing as I get older.

Thanks for your input though I'll try to stay on guard.
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>>17823734
>that she had no boyfriend and they broke up

So then she friend zoned him?
That bitch is SAVAGE

Watch your back if you decide to pursue OP

So I am starting to understand life a little more each day and from things I notice. The hard truth is life's based on looks. What you can and can't get away with is based on looks. Maybe not 100% but its very high up there. For example
Skinny Fit cute girl: Loves anime, buys merch and nerds out alot. Everyone thinks she adorable and whatever

Fat nerdy girl: Does the same thing as the skinny girl, but this time everyone calls her cringe or a nerd or thinks she needs to grow up

Skinny in shape guy: openly tell people he watches anime, plays video games...
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Workouts are incremental

You go as far as you can each time and it gets easier over time

When it comes to losing weight the most important part is diet and if you're drinking soda that can really set you back
Saying you need the fizz burn in your throat is about the most hilarious fatty excuse I've ever heard but why not diet soda. It's still not healthy but you won't have all those calories

Go read the sticky at /fit/
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>>17823716
You probably crave sugar because of its addictive properties, more than the 'burn'. I find soda water mixed with some fresh lime juice provides the same refreshing qualities of a soft drink without the sugar.

Losing weight isn't easy, but it is simple. Exercise more, consume less calories while maintaining intake of important nutrients, find a way to structure your daily life so that you can achieve those.

The first part of your post is more suited to /r9k/, and yes it may be somewhat...
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>>17823716
Congratulations on realizing that people are shallow. Try not to wallow too much in your bitterness about it. It really depends on who you're talking to. And it has its limits. If a 10/10 guy says he likes 10 year olds, he's still a pariah. If a pro football cheerleader gives a kid a BJ, she's doing him one hell of a favor. Shit's nuanced, y'know?

Basically the two answers you don't want to hear from us.

Eat better, exercise more regularly.

Aside from other lifestyle...
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I have a face full of pimples and a receding hairline at 19. How do I fix this?

Pic unrelated.
8 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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death
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>>17823683
Wash your face regularly and keep your hair short.
If your brave, shave your head and rock that for a week.
You might like that better than the receding hairline, and so might the ladies!
Or the guys, if your coo coo for cocoa puffs.
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>>17823720
>If your brave, shave your head and rock that for a week.
Would that fix the hairline?

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I think I should pick up a healthy hobby that I can practice at home instead of spending all my time watching anime and playing vidya. What should I do? I'm not very athletic/skillfull with my hands. Preferably something that I can learn easily and then keep getting better since I tend to lose motivation quickly if I'm not really into it
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>>17823653
>interesting person
interesting people can carry on a conversation
become more knowledgeable and well rounded by reading non fiction , but a hobby would help too.
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>>17823653
I took up boxing at my house, im a gamer and anime watcher also. Most of my time is spent sitting on my ass, jerking off, or playing video games. It sucks man just think of something to make you happy and do it. Mine is punching a workout bag.
>>
if you insist on doing it at time, i vote for some instrument.

but skateboarding is a lot of fun, u should do that :^)

Well, this shit has been going on for quite some time now, but as you can guess from my post, it eating me out. I live with my older brother, he's a really good hardworking man, he made quite good money, and I'm just student. The problem is, he's living in my apartment, doesn't pay the rent (never asked him to ) but he knows that most of the time I'm short of money, hardly buy any groceries, except when he wants to make some steak for himself. Make off hand jokes about me broke or even sometimes cheapskate, despite the fact I pay the pills and everything....
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Throw his bitch ass out of the bed and tell him to gtfo. What kind of pussy are you.
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>>17823612
He either pays or he's out. Just cause he is family doesn't mean he can take advantage of you.
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>>17823639
He really does took a big fucking advantage of me. The weird part is that he doesn't even acknowledge and aware of it.

I want to start selling my designs online but after talking to a friend, they said to be careful about copyright etc.
is this image safe to sell? or will i get in trouble?
7 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Are you retarded?

Did you create the original artwork?
>Yes
Sell it
>No
Youre stealing

Only option you have to sell stolen shit is to go to another country
>>
What you have there is something known in copyright law as a derivative work.

You should briefly check the laws concerning derivative work in your country. For example, in the U.S., derivative work is defined as
>a work based upon one or more preexisting works, such as a translation, musical arrangement, dramatization, fictionalization, motion picture version, sound recording, art reproduction, abridgment, condensation, or any other form in which a work may be recast, transformed, or adapted. A work consisting of editorial revisions, annotations,...
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That picture does not fall under fair use. You can get in trouble legally if you sell this design.

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So I met this girl a while ago and I recently started to really like her. I'm not sure how, but I think the main reason for liking her is the interest she's shown in me from the day I met her and her overall behaviour around me. I'm also pretty sure I wouldn't even like her right now if it wasn't for those things. A few days ago, she told me she broke up with her boyfriend because of me and I can't tell if she means something by that or just using me as a tool to get him jealous. Help me
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>>17823571
holy shit i was in your exact same position, except
>started talking to this girl
>hit it off great
>hangout first time and just decide to go to my place
>mess around, hookup, play with her boobs etc
>fuck her the next day
also note im in school, which environment is up to you to figure out.
>lost virginity, caught feelings...
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>>17823590
holy shit, dude, that's basically what's happening to me, with the bf of 2 years and stuff. it's without the sexual stuff though. it's just that she seemed nice since day one and the guy is a complete cunt. they've had a couple of fights since i met her and she just kept talking about how she hated him but couldn't break up with him because of their long relationship. but now they've broken up and he keeps posting shit about her on social media and stuff and it seems like he's moving on.
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>>17823601
Well your definetly in a better position than I was my friend.

She is literally crazy, she goes to therapy 3 times a week and is on meds, I think she has borderline personality disorder, she has self harmed, tried killing herself, talked about killing herself recently, was going to give me a letter and told me to read it later the next day but i quickly figured it out, talked to her a bit and then she said for the first time, "I love you dominick", she said it for the first time too, and then she...
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Why do i uave different sized boners Sometimes?
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I wonder this as well.
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>>17823565
Its weried isn't I've notice this more lately when i been jacking off. Also i finish on about 20 sec masturbating. But when it come to sex some times its hard for me to cum.
OP
>>
I never noticed.

I have aspergers and when I look in a mirror everything I do looks jankey and insincere
like I cant even say hello without looking creepy or smile without doing it a millisecond too late to make it look natural

I've been practicing but I feel like its only making it worse
is there anything I can do about it? I feel like this is the real reason I have trouble making friends
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no help even on /adv/?
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>>17823539
How are you deciding what "looks creepy" or is "too late"? Everyone looks awkward to themselves when they start asking the question "do I look awkward?" Try not to force yourself to be someone else, it'll make you anxious and less approachable.

I would definitely advise you to stop practicing and pay more attention to other things.
>>
I would say be your weird self and find friends that think it's cool

Just tell them you have assburgers straight up

I am not complaining but rather curious about something.

Over the years, I have put on a shit load of weight, lost a load of weight, got skinny then really fat and now I am in a healthy space where and my relationship with food and body image is healthy.

The thing that rattles my head is that my partner loved me and was attracted to me the entire time. There was never a time he was grossed out by my fat body or MORE attracted to me when I was skinny etc

Am I just lucky to have someone like that?
My girlfriends all complain about how shallow men are...
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>>17823487
Perhaps he just didn't notice? My ex had gained weight over a period of time and I didn't notice until she pointed it out. Then I realized it. I mean, otherwise he does just really love you and doesn't care.
>>
>>17823487
That is not something to complain about. That's great. It means you've found someone who genuinely loves you.
>>
OP, I'm that kind of guy who likes his partner no matter what. And I don't know how it fucking works, but what I can told you, is that worked 2 years straight with my last GF, and still works.

If you partner are saying so, and you know s/he's no lying, just focus on other things, weight won't fuck anything unless you gain or lose ~20kg, and even then s/he will be attracted by you.

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I'm 21. Still live with parents. No GF/Wife/etc. Not really anything in savings. Going to school for Nursing pre-requisites.

But I'm not sure if I want to do Nursing anyway. Only doing it because I always said I wanted to be a doctor (Just became my default response really.) and parents figured I'd just go for Nursing first.

I'm still trying to be a Nurse anyway because I have no idea what else I want to do and parents want me to be a nurse for the money. I've hinted at other possible jobs I actually do have interest in, but mom basically...
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You should understand that you and your parents' definition of failure is totally relative. Obviously you've got parents that have arbitrary standards based on their class and what they think is a 'successful' career path. That sucks, and yes it's common for middle class families, but there are also lots of families that don't care what their children do and just want them to be happy. So you would be wise to take it with a pinch of salt and just be aware that you being in this world doesn't come with any obligations to follow their standards.

With that in mind, I'd put your mother's comments to one side and maybe look into those other jobs that you are actually interested in. Almost every career path imaginable has the potential to bring in enough money for you to be really comfortable, and beyond that level it's just a pissing match so who cares.

As for how I "chose," I basically did a degree that I enjoyed thoroughly but it didn't set me up for a particular career path (Music Technology).
Then I spent a year doing retail work to keep myself occupied and trying to figure stuff out. One of my hobbies is programming, so I ended up getting a job as a software developer because it was something I could actually get. My degree had almost nothing to do with it.
I don't hate it, not sure if I'll dedicate my whole life to it, but it's paying the bills for now.
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>>17823515
Problem is that they pay for everything. Unless I get a job quick, they would have to pay for my "non-nursing" classes and most likely would bother me about that.

They at most have told me to go for nursing, make tons of money, THEN go for what I actually want.

I have no idea how to tell them I don't want to be a "super rich" nurse at all.
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>>17823577
Seriously been an RN is a calling not something you can do for the money, yeah sure it appears that you can make hella cash from nursing but in reality it dosen't pay all to well and the job can be stressful most people use nursing to go other routes in medical field or even to another career field, however but forcing your self going to school for something that you don't want to do often dosen't end all that well and its a waste of time.

If you want to peruse your own career then your gonna...
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What it says on the title
Life as a virgin is hell
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>>17823391
What is the point of life if you could get laid?
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>>17823391
lol i never thought this way but i lost my virginity like what, 1.5 months ago? nothings changed at all. im relatively young tho sooo yea... im 18 + 1 if you get what i mean wink wink
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>>17823414
Easy. The fact that if he could get laid without having to pay someone, means he's probably a well-adjusted human being who is able to form normal relationships with people.

Not being laid means a lot more than no sex.

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Why is it when I ask for advice on advice forums I only ever get people telling me that they feel sorry for me without actually giving me advice?
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Some people realize it's pointless. You can give people all the advice in the world but it's their choice to take it. It's like giving a class a test and not telling them the answers were on the back wall the entire time.
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>>17823412
That's true, but I only ever ask once and on different sites. It's not like I am on their crying like a bitch every other day.
>>
>>17823385
Im sorry for you buddy

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How do you rebuild your sense of self and happiness after exiting an emotionally abusive relationship?
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Connect with your friends, take up hobbies that make you happy, talk to people who support you and if you're still not sure, try asking them about what they think are good qualities in you. Once you figure that out, try to embrace those parts of you and look for more things to admire about yourself. It won't go into arrogance, if you're worried about being seen as such. This is your time to see yourself and embrace yourself because you deserve it.
>>
>>17823411
I don't have any friends, she was my only one
>>
>>17823419
Same. Bump

What do you live for?
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dank memes
>>
A dear friend of mine, yet I don't know if she is alive or not.
haha.
>>
Love. Which is pretty sad.

ok listen, 23 years old virgin with hot as fuck gf, who knows my dirty little secret.
Here's the thing....i cant seem to get it up when we are trying sex.
I doubt is any body condition, since when we fool around or kiss im hard as diamonds.
Even at porn i can have a really long erection,
I tried to look into it, and some sites say is just anxiety or being afraid, then again the condom takes away all the sensation, making my dick soft.
So please any one have any good advices ? I understand the viagra option but thats my last resort and I dont want to relie on a drug
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As long as she's clean just don't wear a condom, I'd get it up, then I'd have to stop and focus on putting the condom on and then it just feels uncomfortable and by then I've lost it.
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>>17823338
My bf had this issue with our first time (we were both virgins). Condoms were the cause then. If you can afford it, try going for something a little pricier that's really thin.
Also, is it your gf's first time?
If not, you really could have performance anxiety. The best thing there I think is to relax. Ask her to go down on you for a little while beforehand.
>>
>>17823378
thats half of what happens to me, i could have an erection and then tried to put on a condom, and the n lose it, but theres the other part than i cant keep the erection even without condom.

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I've been chasing my girlfriend for fucking YEARS! She says "I love you so much, you're the air I breathe, you're my everything, I need you forever" but then when it comes down to it she never chases after me, ever. We have an argument and split up, she NEVER contacts me first she just talks to her exes and then pretends it was nothing afterwords. "I was just lonely that's all, I didn't want to contact you because I was scared you'd reject me"

Am I being played for a fucking FOOL? OMFG why does she claim to love me so...
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>>17823281
Femanon here, and I've watched female friends do this to men.
>Am I being played for a fucking FOOL?
Yes, yes you are.
Get out, she's using you as a self esteem boost.
>>
>>17823281

Lol go back to /b/
>>
>>17823387
Fpbp

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I don’t even know how to process this but basically my girlfriend of 2 years told me she's has a fear of missing out and isn't sure if I'm the right one. she doesn't want to get to 40 and not be happy or something.

Anyway I'm going through a Rollercoaster of emotions because I'd like to be with her but now I don't know if I even want to be commited anymore and I feel somewhat betrayed.

any advice?

Sorry if this doesn't sound right, I'm not really good at using the right words and what not.
32 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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If I were you buddy, drop her while you can. She's gonna be the type that tells you this to prep you for the inevitable cheat/break up. If she can't be happy with what she has with you, she certainly doesn't deserve your tears nor your love. It'll fucking hurt and feel lonely when you guys break up, but it'll heal in time as long as you've got some support behind you; friends, family, etc. She's not missing anything, but even if someone told her this, it's something she'll find out only after experiencing it, sorry to say.
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>>17823274
Thanks dude, it hurts allot because I've invested so much time into her and then yeah I don't know its so confusing.
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>>17823307
atleast shes giving the courtesy of warming you up to it.. i dont know if thats a good thing but id imagine its certainly better than what i recieved.

first person I "loved" first real relationship, took my virginity, and you know how she dumped me? Literally out of the fucking blue, no fight happened, we never fought anyway, and the SAME day she dumped me? didnt talk to me at all, the only thing she said was "im still in love with my ex" and posted shit on social media and got back with...
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File: mHM3DMk.jpg (35 KB, 480x270) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Uncut fags how do you keep head from drying out? Everytime I shower it gets dry, the only time it stays moisturized is when I dont shower for days. Is it bad to leave cum on your dick? I won't put moisturizer on it because it feels to sensitive.
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17823246
>mfw cut jew
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Not OP, but is putting soap directly on the head bad?
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>>17823432
It dries mine out, there's supposed to natural oils there that keep it lubed you don't want washed away

well i was starting to have an idea of getting a job at my local mcdonalds, one of my friends are already working there. But here is the deal, i've never had a job before and i dont even know how to write a "cv" nevermind how to deliver it to the place. I'm nervous and sligthly anti-social.

i live in Norway and i'm currently 18
8 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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File: c8522e607334d205.gif (1 MB, 800x800) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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you live in a beautiful country. would love to live there
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Make a kvlt black metal band.
You're in Norway so you're already half way there.
Make it a full time job.
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>>17823232
Just get part time on Coop or some shit, norbaguette

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I've been living in a house with a shitload of black mold in it. Because of this my hair has started falling out and it's driving me mad. How can I treat my hair loss, or minimize it? Moving isn't an option for me at this moment. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
18 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17823222

experimentation mostly. look into diets, supplements, and topical treatments. some people really do have success with rogaine. others with bosley. many people have no luck.

me, im saving up to try this treatment where they apply stem stells to the scalp. it looks promising and its extra expensive.
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>>17823259
Sweet, thank you!
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>>17823222
You need to do something about the mold. How long have you been living there? If it's affecting your hair, I don't even want to imagine what's happening in your lungs right now

If it's a rental, if you've tried to get your landlord to do something about this and he hasn't, then you should sue him. You'll win. You cannot live in conditions like that and expect to be OK, you're not gonna be OK


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