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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 442. page
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Hey Guys.

I've been really embarrassed to ask such a question to a real life person, so I came to use guys.

My girlfriend's coming over soon, and I'm planning to "get it on", but I've wondered....

How do I make my cock bigger?

I think Dick has some kind of illness or something, because it's smaller than the rest.

Suggestions?
7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17526364
How big is it?
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>>17526379
I'm not sure of the official measurements, but most of the other cocks I've seen are bigger.
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>>17526407
Measure it and tell us.

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Long story short faggot in my class stole my book and is a massive cunt over it when asked and outright denies it.
I've asked him twice, and the second time he got genuinely angry and said that I lost it and it's apparently my responsibility to get a new one when I knew for a fact he stole it.

I'm not going to bother getting this book back, rather I want tips for sneaky revenge I can do and some cheeky passive aggressive tactics to fuck this faggot up.

What are your ideas, /adv/?
16 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17526339
Stop being a weakling, break his ankles so he can't peddle shit and get your bike back.
>>
Vump
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>>17526339
Has it even occurred to you that you might be wrong and he didn't steal it?

Okay, so I am leaving on a family visit in 2 days, need advice.

>Staying with my pedo dad to finish up my last 2 yrs of college (molested my little sister, I hate his retarded guts)
>Staying cus rent is only 200 that he's charging and only have to pay partial food bill, usually going halfsies on milk, bread and eggs and the college is close asf to his residence
>Planning on trip, going to see my dying uncle
>He brings his 30 yr old girlfriend along who also is a pedo, she is also a drunk, fat, ugly, tattooed and pierced, she is on welfare, so is dad
>Dad is only bringing her cus' "she's never been out of the state"
>I told him that's inappropriate to bring your girlfriend who is 24+ yrs younger than you to a personal family visit, she is closer to my age, than him
>He didn't say anything, only that it would mean a lot to him if I came to visit his dying brother
>I've talked to him about my disdain and uncomfortable feelings with this land-whale drunken welfare slut to come along on a family visit, he says, well she's coming, she's never been out of the state
>I told him I am probably not going to come, he smiles, and says okay

I want out of this mad-hell house of a world!

Going to crash at the dying uncles house.

What do I do, do I come along? Do I stay home?

I want to see my uncle before he passes away, but I don't want to have to be around that land whale any longer than I have to, gonna be driving 10+ hours. All she literally does is nothing but fucks around on her laptop all day, drinks, and eats.

Think I am gonna move out anyways, will fuck me up financially but whatever.
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17526293
>What do I do, do I come along? Do I stay home?
Only you can make that choice, OP. Do you want to see your uncle one last time or is he "gone"? Would it be possible for you to find another ride?

I understand that she's a disgusting human being, but if she does nothing but ignore you, I don't see what the issue is. It's not like you'll have to talk to her. You can just stay silent and not acknowledge either of them.
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>>17526318

>Do you want to see your uncle one last time or is he "gone"?

His condition is getting much worse, but he was gonna have a BBQ for us, since where he lives there's not much shit to do, my Uncle was gonna take me to the range, prolly give me a gun or two, since he's a big ass hunter.

>Would it be possible for you to find another ride?

Sadly no, and it wouldn't matter, she's staying at the uncle's...
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>>17526360
If you love your uncle, you'll suck it up and see him before he dies.

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Who here has toxic parents?

I'm 24, after graduation (I studied at a technical uni 300 km away from home, lived in a dorm) I came back home (couldnt afford my own place since I live in Central Europe and entry salaries are low, plus plenty of jobs for me here) and found a job. After 3-4 months (it was in June) I bought myself a very nice gaming PC, including new monitor, mouse and keyboard. I am really happy with my new PC, because I always wanted to have a good computer and play new games on high settings, it was some sort of my "dream" since I was a kid,...
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>>17526291
>What am I supposed to do, move out and live with gf?

yep
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>>17526291
You're a 24 year old who spends his free time playing games in his room.
Which isn't anything inherently bad, in my opinion, but maybe for someone with a different background, like your parents.
What do they do in their free time? What were they doing with their life at 24? Maybe that's their standard and since you're not doing what they think is right, they feel uncomfortable.
It's just one silly comment. Laugh it off and don't take it personally.
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>job
>girlfriend

make moving out your top priority

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So I have an idea for a youtube channel where I would upload hundreds of videos a day.
Could I get them monetized?
How much videos would I need to upload to make any money?
7 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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You're talking quantity, but I hear absolutely nothing about quality.

I've seen channels with hundreds of uploads, but with only dozens of views per video. If you have nothing interesting or funny to show, you might as well not bother.

And, I swear to god, if you start every video with "What's up guys", I will track you down and shove a live grenade up your ass.
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>>17526267
it is not about quality
instead of going for one 1milion views video, I wanna make 1million one view videos (obv exaggerating)

those will be clickbait shit with 2 minutes of production value
and not my face and my voice

it is only about money

now I only dont know if its possible
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>>17526287
Who would pay you for your content if only one persons watches it?

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>meet girl online on a christian dating website
>she's from another city but hints at me visiting and she's 4 yo older
>education is important to her but I only have hs diploma and she has a phd in programming
>so is having a career but I've never had a job
>when she messaged me the first time i was showing an attitude (I have low self-esteem) but she kept insisting on knowing me and sending detailed answers...
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>>17526226
>haven't seen a pic yet
You've at least spoken to her, right, anon?
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>>17526247
yes, and she knows all I've said in my post (like having SAD, being fat etc)
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>>17526262
Well, then it seems for some reason that she likes you. She's already open to you, so just go to where she lives and have a date or something.

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I am in general a fuck up. I have a slight uncomfort in my right abdomen. I drink a lot, smoke, and also drink tons of coffee. I think I might have either bowel cancer or cirrhosis. I don't have money to see a doctor.

I tried to stop drinking coffee and drinking for 2 weeks. The uncomforts continued and life was really boring. I am fully aware that I'm a fuck up. I've had this feeling for at least 4 months. It's not uncomfortable to prevent me from sleep. Though it's persistantly there.

Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

Picunrelated.
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>>17526159

Fuck man, that sounds similar to what I'm experiencing, except it's 7 months. Can you describe more of your symptoms?
>>
If it doesn't hurt that much yet for you to not see a doctor, there's still hope. Stop fucking up your body with literal poison, cirrhosis is one of the most painful ways to die.
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>>17526169
Well I rarely ever have a solid shit. Even though I eat enough fibers.(Ithink?)
Besides that maybe a little lack of appetite. I mean I skip a lot of meals.

>>17526172
I wish I could man. I lost everything. My family died. I have no friends to call. All I have is some savings. I hate my life bro.

I am a man and I have never had an orgasm. I've jerked off well over a thousand times and have had sex and gotten blow jobs before, never happened.

Semen comes out but I feel nothing, my dick just goes flaccid and I'm like "okay moving on". How rare is this? Is there a solution?
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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No idea but I want more info because I'm intrigued. Do you get aroused and feel pleasure before not-cumming? Does edging make any difference for how you experience the ejaculation? Are you cut?
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>>17526086
I get aroused, but I don't feel a whole lot physically. I know it's coming but there isn't much of a lead up, I think a feel even less when it actually happens. I've messed around with edging before but it didn't work, not really my thing anyway. I am not cut, dick is average to above average size.

It's always been like this and I've tried to find out more about it, but never got any results and sort of just moved on.
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>>17526082
See a urologist

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You all told me my gf was cheating on me, she just told me she loved me after sucking my dick. I never have felt so secure. What are things I can do for her that will make her feel secure and happy with me other then spending money on her?
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>>17526057
>You all told me my gf was cheating on me, she just told me she loved me after sucking my dick. I never have felt so secure.
That doesn't mean she isn't cheating on you. I don't know your situation, but I'm just saying.

>What are things I can do for her that will make her feel secure and happy with me other then spending money on her?
Different people like different things. Ask her or try experimenting.
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>>17526057
Tbh I've heard behavior I've done described on here and people have said "he/she's definitely cheating on you". I've never cheated. These people don't know anything. If you think she's cheating work to find out but 4chan is filled with bitter men and women who have been burned and now trace completely irrelevant things that happened in their relationships to cheating.

It's like if my boyfriend had always been eating bread and then I find out he's cheating,...
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>>17526057
>You all told me my gf was cheating on me, she just told me she loved me after sucking my dick. I never have felt so secure.
Man im gonna feel bad for you when you actually find out shes cheating

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Need to Vent /adv/ shitty mood about myself, any advice would be supremely appreciated, I know this a tough to give advice but anyone who listens would be amazIng

Disclaimer: My problem involves astrology, I understand how a ton of people feel about that so be warned

I didn't used to really truly believe in astrology but after I read some books that were so accurate about myself it was disturbing I know believe some merit to it

It's kinda depressing being a capricorn, for those of you who don't know, capricorns are very ambitious and steady....
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Cont.

Gratitude helps me a lot, taking joy in the little things always makes me feel better
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>>17526050
>astrology
>not praising the goddess of chaos
>not realizing entropy is the driving force of our universal system even at the largest and smallest scales of space and time
Until you understand Absurdism and Discordianism you will never know that feel.
Ya da ya da Hail Eris you heretic.
ayy lmao
>>
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For what purpose do we continue to live
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>>17526034
To procreate.
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You have it backwards OP. You live to create your own purpose.
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i have/had this friend who recently started belittling me for my life choices while framing it as though he's trying to help me. at least that's what it seems like. i'm practically a neet with an ee degree, i just don't see the point in being a wageslave like him. life is ephemeral and this whole notion that we need to do things as society outlined always irritated me. i finished my degree because i am genuinely interested in the topic but the workplace is a cult where everyone below the boss is a submissive tool.

anyway before he started making headway...
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62 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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the principles that you are trying to hold onto are laziness

like it or not, society functions by people working. you can just consume resources and not create them if that's what you want, but it iis counterintuitive to
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>>17526035
there is a difference between work and this wageslave system that treats people like cattle. i would gladly see this society crumble if it means we can rebuild it such that people are treated as human beings.
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>>17525974
Your friend didn't "Throw away his principles;" he grew up. Which is what it sounds like you need to do. Phrases like "Normies," "Wage slaves," and "Willful slaves to the system" are what people who don't want to be responsible use to make themselves sound and feel enlightened so that they don't have to analyze their own life choices.

Your friend may very well be framing his advice in a way that comes across as douchey, but you need to get off your own...
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I lost my fucking wallet and I don't know what to do. I had everything in there, license, student ID, all my debit cards, my insurance card, at least 50 dollars. I've already consulted with public safety at least 7 hours ago and nothing back and I've tried to find it on my own for three hours now.

What else can I do, I'm having a fucking panic attack. pls help
8 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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As long as you've blocked your cards its not the end of the world
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>>17525928
It's gone, dude. Let it go.
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>>17525937
I did that, but what about my IDs and shit, what if some weirdo gets a hold of them. I don't want to lose my identity and have my credit ruined.

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All these sad pepes on the /adv/ front page... Make way for someone with real problems; ME!!!!!!

It's moneybags this month (three paychecks instead of two) and I want to treat myself a bit, but I dunno what to buy online. Recommend me something.
8 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Put it in savings.
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>>17525927
Invest in bonds and other low risk assets
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>>17525931
Already did a little bit. I want the anticipation of something arriving in the mail.

I like old video games, weeaboo shit, desk toys, techy junk. That sort of thing. If I knew what I wanted, I'd just get it myself. I'd be willing to spend like 60 or so bucks, but getting a few smaller things would be cool too.

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I can't decide what I should learn in college.

Mechatronics or IT?
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>>17525917
Chemical Engineering son!
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>>17525949
Why?

I was told that Mechatronics and IT pretty much assure me that I'll get a job after.
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>>17525917
What are you interested? Are you partial to STEM or non-STEM?

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That feel when I'm in a bar now with my family and there is one short (5'3-5'4), good looking guy (looks like Tom Cruise kek) who's friendly, laid back and just beeing himself.
I'm pretty good looking too (6'0, but it doesn't matter) but I'm torn by complexes and crushing self-doubt.
I wish I was like him. I wish he was my friend.
11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17525884
Shut the fuck up, you whiny pussy.
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>>17525899
OK, fuck off
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>>17526040
What advice are you looking for?

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How do I stop feeling jealous everytime my gf mentions her exes?
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>>17525876
punch her
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Punch her
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>>17525876
just grit your teeth and deal. All women do this shit but you better not mention an ex of yours. Women are always relating everything that happens minute by minute with what they did in the past and with whom and it runs out their mouth. If it happens to be an ex it still spews and how you feel never enters her mind.

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Hey adv. Ex ended it with me two weeks ago and we've been textin here and there. Yesterday she texted me saying, "you still have pics of your ex on Facebook. Don't ever talk to me again you piece of shit".

Something about this triggers me so hard. She has a NEW bf and she broke up with me. So why would she hit me with this? I think she just needs trouble but ima stay calm and let it be.

Any advice as to where my mind should be at on this? It makes me anxious
13 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17525873
I don't understand
is she mad about her pics being on fb or some other girl?
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>>17525873
Ignore text, delete her from social media and don't talk to this bitch.
>>
>>17525873
Emotions are irrational. Don't try to make sense of it.

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So I moved to NY from CA for grad school and brought along my girlfriend who pretty much hates it here. She has no career options here and is homesick, but is sticking through it because she is crazy in love with me.

We have been together for almost 8 years. But I don't think I share the same feelings as her, and I still think I have feelings for somebody I met 2 years ago (in California).
Whats the nicest way to break up with someone like this in my position, I know it is going to absolutely devastate her, I am pretty much her whole world here in NY, as she doesn't...
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bumoooo
>>
Wow. Why do you let her tag along and leave her lofe behibd to be with you if you don't see a future with her? You are a real fucking piece of shit and you know that full well. That said, tell her asap and then you WILL not blame this crap on her whatsoever and will do anything to help her get back home and get her life back. My god, anon...
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>>17525872
Have you guys talked about it? What happened during the talks?

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Friend of 4 years recently told me she didn't want to be friends with me because I was "toxic". I spent the last 4 years helping here through suicidal streak through suicidal streak, held her when she had seizures, and listened to all of her problems every night. I'm not bitter about her leaving, if I am toxic to her I want her to be happy and move on, I'm just curious to how exactly I'm toxic. I've never had any notable mental health issues, no criminal record, and no major emotional issues. Was she just lying to me?
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>>17525848
How would we know?
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>>17525848
We don't fucking know you, dipshit
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>>17525848
No way to know what she thinks, but she may be following an instinct to "blank-slate" her life. She might need to do this, judging by her issues.
Prrhaps you can reconnect when she is a healthier person.

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I hate living.

I've missed every single adult milestone. I'm 22 years old, no drivers license or car, didn't graduate high school, never been to college.

I don't feel like putting my whole life story on here but long story short, I have been homeless multiple times, and have spent the last ~5 years just floating around from couch to couch. My parents abandoned me when I was 16 and I have no family or friends. I've pretty much had to look after myself since that age, and I still have no idea what I'm doing. whenever I see people years...
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>>17525793
If you're feeling suicidal, I have a better advice then just suicide.
Kill criminals.
Yeah, kill them until you get killed.
At least, you did something remarkable on your life and you possibly saved lifes.
Godspeed hero.
>>
you're right, it's too late for things to ever get better.
you've wasted a third of your life and accomplished nothing. you should be feeling bad.
>>
You'll have to understand that you only have one life, and you decide solely what you want to do with it, if i was in your position, i'd try to find something i really love doing, and keep on doing that

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Alright /adv/ I'm on the fence about something. I have three options right now. Im good friends with these two cute virgin girls and I very much like both of them but here's the problem, one of them is O K, black curly hair, has my sense of humor, etc etc I'm absolutely positive she wants me and she has a relatively good personality and face, but she's a bit on the chubby side and I'd probably end the relationship around a year or so just because that's how I am when I'm not 100% into a girl. Then there's this other girl. She is my fucking...
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>>17525716
You have to be 18 or older to post here.
>>
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>>17525761
College is just highschool 2.0 buddy and anyone who disagrees is full of shit or an unwilling isolationist.
>>
Just ask the 2nd girl out already the sooner the better

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Ask a femanon who just saw her husband through a year of grieving, depression, and probably nervous breakdowns anything.
I feel like I have learned a lot this year about grief, and love, and relationships. I would love to be helpful to anyone going through unbearable times, or supporting a loved one through dark times.
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>>17525700
Should i tell my sister i'm depressed and want to kill myself?
Everytime i opened up i got screwed over but those bottled up emotions want out and i'm afraid i won't contain myself.
Experience tells me no...
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>>17525741
I hate to give you a non-answer, but you really have to use your judgement on that one.
Many people will flip the fuck out if you say that. I am not one of them: it is my opinion that it is a human right to end your life if you want to do so. I certainly hope you don't!!
One fact to remember is that life goes on. It really does. The sun rises and sets, people are born and live and die, plants grow and bloom and etc. I find that comforting when my own little life is too hard to bear.
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>>17525700
Why would I care about what some random roastie thinks?

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My friend and I have been really tight all through the last half of high school. He followed me everywhere I went and we were best buds. The other day we hung out one last time before I left for college and he was acting really strange and clingy. Before I went home, he gave this big speech about how he doesn't want to lose this friendship, and he gave me a bracelet that he wore every day through high school. The next morning he sent me a text that said something along the lines of "had fun yesterday, text me when you're back in town so we can hang ;)". Should...
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>>17525696
Does he usually throw you gay undertones?
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>>17525696
Talk to your friend man. You won't know for sure, and make sure the conversation is judgement free and positive. Maybe he's gay, maybe he's going to bang your mom, maybe he's going to kill himself. We're not in a position to know.
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>>17525715
OP here. He's all over the place. He's never mentioned any previous GF's or BF's, but he doesn't appear stereotypically gay in any fashion. We actually went to after-prom together (neither of us had dates for real prom, after-prom was just a big party at an arcade), and while there we played this shit-tier arcade game where you kill giant spiders or something, and at the end of the game you're ranked at how "in sync" your shots were. The ranking went from "strangers"...
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>gf read my texts and is mad

The other day, I left my laptop at my college dining hall- and then managed to forget about it for the entire rest of the day, as I was going to art museums and movies with her. she generously offered to get it the next morning, which she did, as the dining hall is really close to her dorm.

The next morning, she asked me for laptop PIN (I'd locked it via iCloud) and I thought this was a little weird, (like why do you need to unlock my laptop?) but I thought she was just being nice so I gave it to her.
Turns...
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>>17525655
she's cheating or wanted justification to cheat and she found it, minor as it is she will blow this thing up and punish you by dropping her panties for one of her back ups
>>
In answer to all questions: because she's a woman.
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>>17525655
Wow you should break up with her. She obviously doesn't trust or respect you and isn't in a place to begin doing that either seeing as how she's ready to put the blame on you. Start dating emotionally healthy women.

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/adv/ why is there so many cold hearted people out there? I never really get belittled by people with more power that can drastically change your life if they want to.. Today was my first experience and I truly feel like shit afterwards and feel like my pride took a big hit, how do you guys cope whenever you're humiliated? I realize that a lot of times it's our own fault, but I just feel like the people who try to impose their dominance over you can be a little bit more gentle can't they?
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>>17525635
A hard life turns a warm heart cold.
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>>17525680
That doesn't explain why rich celebrities are cold irl. It also doesn't apply to some people I know who are very warm and loving probably because they have endured pain and suffering themselves in the past.
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>>17525680
So basically what you mean is that the people that talk down on other people were once belittled before?


So basically we can't have faith in humanity right?

Praying doesn't help. I know Christians who pray an hour a day and they aren't humble. I don't think most adults understand that real humility is surrendering everything even if you're mistreated badly, like a slave. Many adults (not children) are prideful about being humble because they find it hard to "lose" and let it go completely.

E.G. I argued with a friend and we almost started fighting but my other friend who's closer to me said "he's not worth it", then I calmed down. That was an insult, a sin that Jesus equates...
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>>17525628
>christian
>superior
kekd hard
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>>17525628
Is this bait? The wording is so bad I have hard time figuring it out.
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>>17525640
No.

Got rejected two days ago. I told myself I'd be okay, but I'm not.

The apathy is coming back. The loneliness is coming back. The constant negative perspective is coming back.

I don't want to be depressed again. How the fuck do I keep it at bay?

Drugs are not an option.
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>>17525586
Why are millennials such whiney faggits?
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>>17525588
You can thank social programming for that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grmwVG2glL0
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>>17525588
How did people deal with this in the 80's and 90's?

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Gf found out about me sneakibg ibto her phone. She's mad pissed, how do I fix this ?
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>>17525575
you find anything incriminating? If not you are fucked.
>>
I didn't. I did find a porn-site profile she has where she just added friends on it. I'm not at ease with that at all. I didn't mention that yet, as I know this Will piss her off even more.
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There goes the trust in the relationship.

Did you find any nudes or signs of cheating? Tell us the juicy stuff and post pics here.

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>>17525547
Tor and a VPN. Tor isn't allowed for 4chan and will probably lead to a "permanent" ban.
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>>17525863
Not OP but how does tor lead to a permanent ban? I am not asking to get around it, I am just curious cause I thought Tor gets a new ip address every time it connects. Wouldn't it be impossible to ban Tor?
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>>17525877
That's exactly why. Those IPs are owned by people voluntarily giving up theirs and Tor simply bounces your IP around the network as to obscure it among the sea of IPs, or something of that line as I know, /G/ can tell you more, and those IPs, since they are used by many different people, confuse 4chans mods or prograns or whatever runs bans because it's just too hard to keep track of who's really who. For this reason 4chan has stopped supporting Tor use and you can be wrongfully banned for other people's...
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