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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 472. page
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Hi, /adv/.
I have a little dilemma here. I have a GF since 1y and a half ago, but the last six months was very long because I can't stop thinking about having sex with the girl who I have a crush 6yrs ago. I barely see her, but see her on the graduation. We can say that we are friends. And everyone says she likes me.
So, the thing is: I can go to her house, talk with her and maybe have sex or minimum clear the things for both. Or do nothing and just have all this thoughs and weird feelings about the things that can happen.

Also, I really love me GF and I don't...
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>>17505285
If you really loved your girlfriend, you wouldn't put her through whatever is about to happen. You would cut contact with this crush and just focus on your current relationship. You're clearly not happy with this girl, you're just comfortable.
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>>17505285
If you have more interest in your crush then dump your current gf after you talked with your crush
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>>17505289
>>17505302
OP here.
The thought star when she was on a trip and then come back and start a new job. We see us like once per month. And sex is like twice per month. I'm always there for her, and don't complain about this change on our lifestyle bc I know it's for better.
I'm not saying that sex is the most important thing on a relationship, just giving more info.
And I was totally unsure if I need to talk with oldcrush. I mean, can talk...
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How do I build the courage to kill myself? Seriously. I hate who I am and I hate everything about myself. Nothing goes right for me and nobody wants me, nobody likes me, nobody wants me around. I'm a burden on all my close ones. All I want is to just finally be dead. But I just don't have the courage to do that. I'm too much of a coward to kill myself.
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You're a coward for wanting to kill yourself, not because you can't. Suicide is the easy way out, something cowards choose. Strength is improving your situation.
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>>17505276
wow thanks for saying the thing everyone does. so helpful.

that's not what i asked for.
>>
>>17505263
If you have to build courage, you don't want to kill yourself hard enough.

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I just fingered and got a blowjob from a fat woman and it was disgusting. Horrible experience and I regret doing it. Anyone else every do something like this. Also I'm not a virgin I had a long term girlfriend before this.
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I'm pretty sure this is a common experience. Many of us have had sex with someone and regretted it or looked back on it with a feeling along the lines of 'what was I thinking?'.

I'm sure I've given others the same air with my one minute man shenanigans. Nothing to do about it.
>>
As long as you didn't get an STD it's okay.

My one friend banged an uggo once and he got genital warts. Now THAT would be awful.

So look on the bright side.
>>
Hopefully I didn't get a STD.

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The eye movement test, and the one leg stand test, all of them are field sobriety tests, does that mean that she is sober enough for sexual contact?
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Also if the girl can walk normally, talk normally, and constantly says she is fine and everything is cool

Also there are still some things she consciously refuses to do and you don't push it
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y/n
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I wouldn't risk it.

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Hey anons, I'm going to Uni later on today to move in. Any tips on college life? Stuff like people, classes, women, loneliness. Honestly I'm iffy about it. I'm excited and all but I'm nervous too. I'm also nervous because my ex is going to the same school, and we do talk a lot, but I still have feelings for her and she knows, but we can't do much. But I'd like to hear from you guys and your experiences.
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Forget all that social crap and focus 100% on your studies
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>>17505201
Can agree to this! OP stay away from parties, I heard big companys hire "fake" students to record any bad behavior. My brother ended up not getting a job at a software company because one of the empolyees gave the manager a recorded video of him drinking beer while wearing a diaper. Just don't go to parties and you'll be safe
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>>17505201
>>17505244
Ah ok, I'll watch out about that.

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I miss her so fucking much, my gut is wrenching and I can't sleep. Help me, this is torture.
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Nothing you can do about it, people are suffering the world over. Welcome
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>>17505186
Remember that she probably doesn't give a shit about you OP. Hard,but true. That's how I got through things. I'm young,but I'll share some of my experiences;


So,I went out with this lady I liked,and I mean really liked for a few months. Turns out she wasn't as great as I painted her out to be; insecure (First massive warning),inadvertently rude and somewhat ditzy. I convinced myself that she didn't have these qualities,even though I'd spent a while getting to know her...
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>>17506326
(continued)

You can do it OP. Show your smile. Remember that there are more fish in the sea,and that it's down to you to find them.

Show her that whilst you may be history, you're history to be remembered; not forgotten. Don't let her kick you whilst you're down,even if it doesn't seem that way. Don't expect anything,sympathy,empathy from anyone; It's only you and you alone out there.

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now as a 24 year old female, can I get any help from being child abused?


as a child. I was not taken care of, I had no medical or dental insurance, whenever I was sick I wasn't taken to a doctor because my
mother didn't want to pay for it.. I have no medical
histories before the age of 21 when I figured out how to get. primary care doctor and wahr not. I saw a dentist once in my whole life, I didn't even live with either of my parents for like 3 years I lived with my dad's first wife.


this has caused so much damage to me, and not...
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you have a job?
>>
>>17505141


I did but I'm currently too ill to work
>>
you need to post where you live, like state/province/whatever level

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Over the course of my 20s, I pretty much made the jump from NEET to normie, and I was briefly excited about it, but now I feel like it all just kind of sucks. I ended things with my girlfriend of 6 years not too long ago, just turned 29, and am just about to finish college, and I'm feeling more depressed than ever before about the future.

The older I get, the more it seems like the late teens/very early twenties are the part of life that "count." Up until the end of this period, aging is something that opens doors for you - as soon as you get past maybe...
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(2/2) ...but trying to get it together financially seems pretty futile too. I mean, I'm almost 30, at this point even if I do start seriously saving and investing now, I'll probably be in my 80s/90s before I can consider retiring, if ever.

Basically it seems that no matter what I do, I can never experience the kind of happiness of someone who just had a good start.

Now, all of this is so brutally cynical that of course it doesn't hold factually. It's easy to come up with counterexamples to everything I've said just from my personal experience...
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bump, since this is still here in the morning
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Why not live for a purpose?

If you've never travelled, i suggest you do it RIGHT after you graduate. Just gtfo of America, see how esstern philosophy looks at life. Meet strange and new people.

Im 23, and i know that eventually, once i lived out my youth thrills (dont feel so bad, ive never had a gf til college and i still dont have a car), i plan to adopt if i havnt impregnated a women yet and live my life for THAT child.

Ive learned to NEVER rely on women for happiness. It never works my man. Its this weird zone where you guys LOVE each to death,...
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I felt like I just ruined a married couple's relationship unintentionally through cultural misunderstandings.

Ask if you're interested.
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Someone took a kiss-greeting the wrong way? Tell me what you did fagget
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>>17505144

Okay.

So, I just back from an exchange. I had been having lots of fun but also I experienced many hardships as well that eventually came to effect my attitude.

When I had moved to my fourth and last host family, they seemed really cool. My last host father was the guy who got me there and was very happy to have me after seeing how much I studied the language by myself and used it amongst them. I was very fond of him and his family which consisted of him, the mother, and two boys around my age,...
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>>17505166

I started to realize how forcefully desensitized the family was to his abuse, but the most harrowing of it all was how they had all at once would attack the mother and think of nothing of it. She would simply take it, and if and only if sometimes would say, "stop." I realized that they had mistreated simply because she turned out to be the bitch of the family (I started to use that word loosely after learning more about them).

Eventually, when the mom would want to go on walks with the dog who...
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Why is our world so boring? Well, actually, I know it's not, I'm just really jaded and everything seems mundane from my perspective. Even mysterious things that science can't explain, for example, are of no interest to me because I just assume it's some boring logical explanation for how it works.

I don't believe that spirits, magicians, witches, familiars, superpowers, secret organizations, etc exist. Maybe they do, but I can't make myself believe it. Even though shocking and scary, it would be amazing if proof that they exist was suddenly...
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shut the fuck up and go for a walk if you want a "nightly existence alone in that city" asshole, this isn't your blog
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>>17505107
how old are you OP? Genuinely asking because I feel the same in some respects
>>
Have you tried getting a new fedora? Or maybe see if there are any new trenchcoats in your price range at Goodwill?

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Has anyone here ever called the suicide prevention hotline?

What was it like?

Seems to me like a waste of time if you are actually going to kill yourself; like what does it matter if some well-meaning person on the other side of the country doesn't want you to do it?
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I tried. waste of time.
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>>17505099
They actually put me on hold
>>
Put me on hold for ages as well
Wanted to die lol

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Sometimes I zone off for long periods of time and think up elaborate plans to ruin the lives of people I dislike. I'll just kind of stare off into the distance and think about it.

There's no way this is normal, right? As soon as I come back to my senses I feel like a fucking autist.
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Bump. Someone help me figure out what the fuck is wrong with me.
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>>17505179

Nothing.
>>
>>17505033
Anon, it's normal for you to think these thoughts. It's a way your brain reacts to anger/stress. As long as you don't have severe urges, you're fine.

That literally happens to me when I get angry at petty shit like that. I think of taking them out Hotline Miami/Drive style. I come up with these complex plans to take them out one by one without seeming guilty. Then I snap out of it and realize the stupid shit I came up with. Don't tell anyone you know though anon, that's just autistic.

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Hey everyone.

Gloomy died 3 months ago. I was cleaning out his stuff and found hic /b/ folder and there was some /adv/ stuff there as well.

He lived 2 years more than he said and y'all helped him tremendously. Thanks for that.

post your last words here
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I don't know who that is.
>>
Damn. RIP. I remember his trip, I think I might even have helped him but its been a while
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>>17505023
Literally who?

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I'm male. Occasionally shortly after orgasm I'll become dizzy, lightheaded, and have difficulty generating and connecting thoughts as though I'm lacking some core awareness, or working memory. I can't keep much in my head or understand how a given element relates with anything else I'm doing or saying. Like writing this right now, I'm quite literally incapable of making anything resembling a decision or choosing from a spectrum of ways to communicate what I mean to get across. It simply isn't possible, and it's maddening. Takes a while...
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Sounds like dehydration and being a wimp. Drink some water and calm down
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>>17505018
>Sounds like dehydration and being a wimp.
Neither.

I'm fairly calm, but my hands feel strange and my brain isn't working properly.
>>
it seems another orgasm as caused it to rapidly resolve, this time.

What a strange life it's been.

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So a while back I made a thread about how to reignite my marriage's sex life after some dull sex that lead me to an affair. So, incase anyone remembers it and is curious, I'll do a quick update before I ask the question but skip to the end if you don't care.

>Made clear to my husband I didn't expect anything in the divorce settlement more than a little help until I get a job(Informal help, no legally binding contract).
>Tried dressing up like a schoolgirl/teen and doing my makeup accordingly for...
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despite what porn and tumblr sluts will tell you, there isn't anything. the majority of women despise anal, because there's literally nothing there for it to be pleasurable. it's the equivalent of your husband trucking your elbow, only with more germs and microtears and risk of infection and stds.

it's a tricky situation because you're trying to repair a marriage and he liked it, but honestly it's healthy and normal for both people to have boundaries, and if you really don't like anal sex you shouldn't have to do it. i'm sure...
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>>17504995
Fucking virgin detected Jesus Christ.

Ease into it, and I'm not talking put it in slow I mean; During regular vaginal sex when you are close to orgasm try just a finger or SMALL vibrator in your ass and climax. After maybe 20+ orgasms with this you will associate anal with orgasm and you can move from there to a larger vib and eventually his dick.
Talking from experience here as my last 3 GF's and my current wife all hated anal with a passion but I found away to bypass this.
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>>17504995
I was worried this was the case too... That it wasn't just something you get used to and learn to love. I just want to be able to get to a point where I can make it look like I'm absolutely adoring it because I hope to limit it to something I only do on special occasions(By persuading him its bad for my health to do it too regularly).

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Hey /adv/ I live in a third world country. I finished university awhile back and now have the equivalent of $6000. I have been freelancing on upwork and other freelance sites for about 2 years now but whatever I make can barely pay the bills outside the student loan. The median rate a college graduate is making here is about 500-700 a month. Just received a call from the loan institution earlier today saying that, they're going to take me to court etc. What I want to know is outside of prostitution, Is there anything I can do that can make me enough to clear this amount?...
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>>17504972
they have debtors prisons in your country?

wow
>>
>>17504972
could you move?
>>
>>17504979
Nah just regular prison, however I have been informed that prosecution is an option available to them if the funds cant be recouped from the sale of my personal assets of which I have none.

>>17504983
Nah I cant Visa restrictions to other countries and the like. Plus my family here would be forced to try and clear it even if I leave.

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Fatty here, I constantly crave food, obviously, and lack and willpower or discipline to stop, according to my shitty upbringing, and I've been considering picking up very light smoking before I'm expected to eat a large meal such as to kill the taste and calm me down when I want to stress eat, thus making me eat less, you guys think it'll actually help me lose weight and that if I do it sparsely enough I won't get addicted? I know this is probably one of the most retarded posts of the month, but I always felt I would pick up smoking anyway from my raging...
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>>17504970
Drink more water.

Like a lot more.

Like three to four times what you're currently drinking on a daily basis.
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>>17504987
I've tried that, drinking up to two gallons or so a day and I ate the same amount, I just had to get up every hour to piss. Exercise doesn't work either, simply makes me hungry and I eat double the calories I've burned. It doesn't help I currently can't control the food in the house and as such, I'm pretty much forced to fucking eat pure msg and junk food.
>>
smoking isn't some silver bullet that magically kills all appetite, have you seriously never seen a fat smoker?

I love a guy, a lot, but he isn't gay. We hang out all the time (almost every day) because we are best friends, and I have lots of other people hitting on me and asking me out, but I can never feel anything for anyone but him.

How do I get over this. I know I'll never get him in that way, but I don't know what to do to get over it. It always feels like I'm just settling.
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>>17504940
Hold him down and fill up his boipussi with your love.
>>
stop being a faggot
>>
In all honesty OP, you're pretty much fucked. Date another dude and you'll forget about your friend. Or ask if he's not a fag in disguise or something similar. Life is full of settling but usually what you settle for is better than what you know you can't get and probably wouldn't be as good as you thought if you could get it. Get the biggest dude that's asked you out to fill that hole in your heart.

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Thinking about joining the army. I'm currently 18 and I sorta have my life planned out. After I researched what other countries are like I really want to help and defend my nation. I would have already done it if it wasn't for two reasons. I am kinda skinny, I can work this out though, and my mother has always been very anxious/nervous. She was very protective of me growing up and I don't think she can bear it if I go for a dangerous job. Thoughts?
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you're american?
>>
>>17504944
Yes, I'm American
>>
>>17504936
Yeah.
> air force for a cushy job/life maybe get a trade
> navy for a trade
> army for a trade and do solider shit
> marines for brotherhood

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So I'm in a very odd situation. I'm in a bit of a financial jam, and someone has offered me a lot of money, but with some very serious strings attached. It basically boils down to this:

>I get $50,000, he pays the taxes on it
>He takes nude photos of me as I am now
>He tattoos me and takes more nudes
>repeat
>It ends when I have a full body sleeve of tattoos from my neck down my legs after months and months...
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>$50k
That's peanuts for what he's asking.
>>
So what if he has the money? What incentive does he have to pay once he can blackmail you with those initial pictures which can be sent to prospective employers and family. What about the tattoos which will undoubtedly be sexual and degrading and even if not they're still visible to employers. You'd also have pictures that - even without face - virtually prove your identity now. Means even better blackmail.

Ignore him if you ever want to get a job or have money, if you're truly so desperate as to consider this and can't get a job at all look into being a sugar baby.
>>
bait?
are you asking anon if you should intentionally enter an abusive business arrangement?

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What makes women lack empathy and consideration for others rights and feelings?
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Sub-par males
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>>17504908
So someone not being great makes em not deserve human treatment?
Wow
>>
>>17504903
Because you're talking to the wrong women

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TL;DR: about a year ago I cut contact to all my friends because I was a stupid autistic cunt who thought he had depression

I have always had problems, the fact I even had a group of friends was bewildering to me. They are great people most of the time, but as I stated in the TL;DR I just abandoned them. I feel really pathetic compared to them as they are all succeeding in life, jobs, cars and connections while I was still a little shit who couldn't hold a conversation with a stranger.

I really felt bad, and on top of that I was very stressed out working manual...
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What do you mean cut them out? Did you just kinda fade away or did you tell them to fuck off?
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>>17504858
At first I just ignored their messages, then I just blocked them and left it at that.
>>
>>17504843
cool anon i did the same thing after college. luckily my friends are all awesome and would reach out to me on the regular despite me blatantly ignoring text and calls when they were visiting my city.

just reach out to them, dont message thats cheap and awkward. give them a ring talk to them see whats up and update them on what you're doing(even if you're not doing much of anything make it sound as if you aren't pathetic) i too felt shitty post college because of the job hunt.

it all...
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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some...
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girls: ever been in a relationship where you slowly start losing your libido ?

my gf is doing it and i'm sad
>>
>>17504827
I claim this thread in the name of the Inquisition of Pegasus
>>
>>17504856
i've never been in a relationship irl

guys, what do you think about women who succeed in business

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Is it bad to have a string fetish? I fap 24/7 and it must fit certain criteria. I feel very retarded doing it like this. They must be thic or fat girls with red or black hair (it helps a lot if they have a spoopy theme). I also like rubbing and kissing their chubby stomachs.
Anyone else on this board with dumb fetishes?
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What is a string fetish?

I've got a couple of dumb ones for sure though.

You image is pretty boner inducing, too
>>
>>17504812
Porn is brain-damaging. Don't watch it.
>>
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Are you a cat?

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How do I suggest my GF of almost 5 years that I want to have a threesome? I also don't know anyone who would be up to it so she'd have to provide the second partner.
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You don't, unless you want mmf.
>>
Do you need one? Fantasy and reality are two very separate things, and it's entirely okay to jack off to the idea of one. But is it something you want to jeopardize your relationship for and that you won't be fulfilled without?
>>
Start by introducing her to the friend you want to have a threesome with. Get them both fairly drunk and work from there.

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Is it weird that when someone says they "need" me, rather than "want" me, it immediately makes me want to distance myself from that person? I don't want someone I love to require me for anything. I want them to make a choice every time they spent time with do something with me, and the idea that they "cant live without me" means they aren't making that choice, and are instead dependent on me.

Am I weird for insisting on not being needed? How do I find someone who will never need me?
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It's pretty immature, honestly.

If what you truly want is someone to lust for, but never need you, you're missing the point of intimacy altogether.

You're looking for 2 player masturbation, get, not any real form of romantic connection, just because dependency is unattractive?

To sat they "need" you doesn't imply a lack of autonomy on their decision to spend time with you, it just means tht they choose to make you a priority - it's an expression of vulnerability, yes, but it's not hypnosis
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>>17504851
Say*
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>>17504851
Choosing to make someone a priority is one thing, relying on someone for financial/emotional support is something very different.

I'm extremely frustrated and angry with myself. When I was little (5) some family "friend" had sex with me. I never told.anyone and I handled keeping it a secret ok. Now I've been finding myself attracted to little kids and it makes me hate myself soo much . I know it's wrong to molest little kids and I'd never want to hurt one, but I've been having these disgusting thoughts . I don't understand why I am, and it makes me extremely angry at myself.
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>>17504795
Get a therapist before it's too late. Otherwise, a bullet might work. Stay away from loli and schools and fucking talk to a therapist. Tell him what happened and how it's altering your thoughts.
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>>17504815
I have been trying Something out. Everytime I have these thoughts I cut myself soo I stop those thoughts. Also I do not deserve help . When I was 5 he told me it was my fault, and my family wouldnt believe me if I told them. I feel in sense, he's right it was my fault. When he was over at our house for dinner, he told me ( when we were alone) that deep down I'm still a 5 yr old boy and nothing I can do will change anything.
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>>17504849
Jesus fuck, is this some sort of elaborate bait or what? If what you're saying is true then you definitely need to see a therapist. First off, stop cutting yourself, it solves nothing and damages you more, both physically and mentally. Second off, it's never a five year olds fault, they are fucking 5, they can't be held responsible for anything let alone their own molestation, third off you're not a five year old boy, he has exactly zero control over you anymore and shouldn't, what he should...
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is it possible to find a meaningful homosexual relationship thru online dating?
every guy i met just wants a quick fuck and go and every ltr minded guy is a fuckin weirdo
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Those who want a relationship but are also cool realize you're damaged goods so they decide to jump pump and dump xd
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I think is even harder than heterosexuals.

Gay community is full of hedonism and instant pleasure, as i experienced.
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>>17504751
have had problems with these appointments. I want a good love with a good base not a quickie . If you live in a good country I think you can find people who are gay in some clubs of arts ( better to be friends first and then boyfriends is a good base) and see such. The homo is not bad. The trouble is homo or hetero who are promiscuous and are just looking for sex and no love.

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Is it ok to cry in front of your gf because you had an argument?
14 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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yes it is 'okay'. It depends on what you want your relationship to be based on. If your girlfriend likes the 'stigma' man then no it is not okay. if she is cool with it than its fine. If she isn't and you don't wanna be the 'stigma' male than dump her.
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no,
self control at all times OP!
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Yes.

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So I'm pretty high up in this local organisation and I'm looking at a fundraiser I can hold. Something about justice, police, domestic violence etc

Any ideas of what sort of event I could hold? What type of guests I should invite to speak?
7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17504637
Police officers, people who work at the local women's and men's shelter, lawyers, victims
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>>17504681
>men's shelter
Do these even exist? Every one I've ever heard of was operating at a loss and was eventually shut down.
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>>17504881

They call it the Holiday Inn!

wubbalubbadubdub!


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