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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 473. page
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My dad is making me excessively angry. He is anxious lately. It just feels really tense to be around him. If its possible for a person to pass on their feelings to you, then that's what he is doing. Sometimes he just starts coughing and I feel a dark presence, or u may call it a "pressure". And it's weird. I mean why does he suddenly start if he isn't choking on anything. I understand it's partly my fault for not reading every social cue that comes my way, and following a trail of clues that will solve this mystery. But if he is mad, how am I supposed...
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google, 'cycle of violence'
you are in the tension building phase.
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>>17504674
So from what you're saying, is that im walking on eggshells and/or paranoid. But the violence doesn't have to be physical violence??
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>>17504708
Nope, most dv is not physical it's psychological, emotional, financial, etc.

On one hand he's your dad, and his life is probably stressful in ways that he has no reasonable way to express. So yes 'normal' people are suppose to express themselves, unless the emotion is anger, or some other negative emotion, pretty universally engaging with those emotions will get you in trouble, and the adult thing to do is to not express them.

On one hand your normalizing whatever relationship you...
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How do I tell my psychologist about a crime I commited when I was a teen?
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why? Don't open yourself up to legal liability
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>>17504613
I wasn't of legal age back then. Is it a problem anyway?
You're probably right, though. I don't think that I have a reason to tell that stuff.
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What kind of crime are we talking about here?

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I've got this retail job that I really can't take anymore. It's too physically and emotionally demanding and it's really wearing on me. I start school soon and I can't do both at the same time. Would it be in poor form to quit without notice? I've been there not even two months and I only work weekends as it is
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(I'm OP)
Also pretty much every time I've shown up the past several weeks I've felt horrifically depressed, bordering on suicidal
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>>17504591
>I start school soon and I can't do both at the same time.
Of course you can.
>>
>>17504591

if wokring retail for two weeks leaves you thinking you will kill yourself, then please kill yourself.

>is it poor of me

yes. saying 'UGH BUT IM SO SPECIAL THAT I CANT STAND IT' does not make it less poor of you, it just makes oyu seem whiny on top of wanting to quit.

quit anyways though, who gives a fuck

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Hey /adv/ would you inform someone if they were being cheated on?

Some backstory:

Me and my ex of 4 years recently started to hang out again. Things began to escalate over time and we began getting very close. We started having sex regularly and spoke of the possibility of getting back together in the near future.

However, we happened to be looking at something on her phone when she got a text from her boyfriend. She admitted this was the case, said she was sorry and what a horrible person she was. I'm pretty infuriated at the entire circumstance....
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>>17504587

depends if i knew them. as a general rule, yes. sometimes even if im sleeping with the cheater. often times no.

basically if im sleepign with a married man, and theres kids, im okay with it. they're just trying to get by until they can get a divorce when the kids are old enough
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>>17504587
Do it, never trust a who're that's cheating to be with you anyway. Dealing with that shit with my soon to be ex-wife now
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>>17504587
>I'm thinking of informing her boyfriend out of both spite and feeling sorry for the dude, as she's been cheating on him this entire time.
Do it for his sake man. There's no reason to believe he deserves a cheater so let him decide what he wants rather than hiding it.

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Hey guys. So it has been one week at uni so far. Back in february we met at the uni campus since I met this qt azn girl, we were both being interviewed for a scholarship from that uni, and we talked quite extensively. We are in the same dorm building (diff floors) so on Thursday I saw her again for the second time at our dorm building and we said hi and talked a little, I said "I don't see you around a lot" and she said "Yeah, I stay in my dorm room a lot."

Anyway Friday morning we both met at this premed session in the morning and we sat together...
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Just sounds like she's shy and you're the only one she knows. This is another case of overthinking things
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>>17504473
so does she want me to ask her out or is she just being nice? Is she showing interest in having a relationship with me?
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>>17504480
She mentioned food.. lunch or dinner. Ask her, without another 'guy'.

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Applying to colleges at the moment. I have excellent grades /test scores/ extracurriculars. I'm almost certain I'm going to Michigan because of instate tuition and good academics. Is it worth it to apply to some colleges like Northwestern or Penn? I stand a good shot at getting in but is the extra cost worth it for better prestige?
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What u going fir? If engineering apply to mich tech
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No, go to the prestige school for your Masters.
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>>17504491
I live in Monroe and that's like a 10 hour drive. Im also thinking more about pre med or biology than engineering.

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How do I turn my straight friend gay? Or at least gay enough that he'll let me fuck him.
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>>17504452

you already know the answer, so why ask? that beign said even if hes on the curious side, hes not gonna go from zero to 'bottom' in one sex act.
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Stop being gay you degenerate pervert.
>>
Don't ruin a friendship just to get your dick wet. Nothing will be the same between you ever again, and I promise companionship and alliance is more valuable, more rewarding than lusting and fleeting intimacy.

It's the mistake we heteros make all the time when we conclude we have feelings for our female amigas. It seems like in your instance there's just a substantially greater amount of work involved: changing or momentarily altering someone's sexual preference.

I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt it's not worth it. And while you...
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Need a second opinion on my profile. I feel like I might be trying too hard to be appealing to as many types of women as possible, but it might not matter since being into video games is an automatic turn off for most women. Am I being too honest? Do I sound arrogant? Do I sound desperate? I know I need pictures of me not being in a basement, but I haven't had the opportunity.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Empyrrean

Also, OkCupid thread I guess, if anyone else wants to share their profile for advice.
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>>17504444

>quads of 4

seriously htough, i dont have a profile so if you want more than your text rated, post your full pics in this thread too so i can give advice on that.
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>>17504453
Hello there, my name is Greg. I'm a simple creature with simple needs. I spend my free time playing video games (I'm not an addict), watching the occasional show or movie, or just screwing around on the internet laughing at dank memes. I mostly play PC games and I built my own machine. I'm witty and sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor. I like to make unironically bad puns and references when the opportunity presents itself, after which you are free to either pretend to laugh or glare at me in disappointment....
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>>17504475

i dont think your main profile picture shoudl be one hwere you're 'making a face'. you want to come off as attractive as possible.

im aware you're not going for hot los angeles party girls or whatever here, but oyu still want to put your best food forward. funny faces can be saved if theres other photo options, but your main pic should be your most attractive self.

for more general in life stuff, id recommend growing your hair out a bit, looks really oddi n this photo. contacts...
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So /b/ I need your help.

So I have always saw myself as bisexual, wank to gay porn, find good looking men sexually attractive and so on. But tonight I sucked my first dick. It was a guy I met on craiglist. I started crying half way through but let me tell you what happened.

He picked me up in his work van, gave me some speed and poppers. That loosened me up, I'm already on xanax so I think that might have been why I choose to suck a dick tonight. Don't laugh please. I do not know if I regret it.

We went to a discreet location and I rubbed his...
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All in all. I am having doubts about my sexuality. Why was I crying? Is it because my first time was with a stranger? I am in the closet so can't really find someone nice... Help me please. I am having regret and thinking I am not gay if I didn't enjoy it that much. But I think if I tried top I'd like that more? He wanted to go back get lube and a condom and fuck my arse but I said no, don't find that appeal but I didnt wanted to fuck his but he wasn't attractive enough to ask

actually I don't even know if I liked sucking his dick
If it...
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>>17504429
>>17504426

Jesus christ man that's a jumble of emotions you're describing - but not uncommon in your situation. You loved this but it was weird but you were turned on but it was unsettling but he was attractive but not in your league but so on and so forth.

I'm bi and I can tell you my goal posts do shift from time to time, whether it's related to hormones or whatnot I don't know. Sometimes I'm right into something with another dude, a month later it won't really grab me the same way - but it won't disgust me nor fill me with regret, shame, loathing or sadness at any time.

I think if you take a closer look at yourself you'll find you have some deep misgivings about your sexuality. It sounds to me like this was something you should have enjoyed from the description of your porn habits and previously assured self identity. You are closeted which means you are afraid of what people will think, which means that you believe that some or most people think that you are doing something wrong.

If you enjoy cock and find some men attractive you are bi or gay. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex with men, or particularly love every aspect of sex with men - it's no different to heterosexuality. Seems to me that you've blown your sexuality up into a big part of your identity, and yet you aren't entirely comfortable with your orientation in the first place.

I can't give you a magic bullet solution because there isn't one, because you aren't sure what you even think is happening. Again, if you like dick and you find a few dudes attractive that's cool. You shouldn't be in the closet about it unless you are in danger of being murdered or stoned over it, but at the same time you don't need to share it with the world, or live and breathe it every day. If you want to enjoy the next encounter of the nature you've described and not feel terrible about it afterwards or during you need to become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.
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>>17504471

tl;dr

>If you want to enjoy the next encounter of the nature you've described and not feel terrible about it afterwards or during you need to become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.

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>be chinese
>adopted by white American parents
>my whole life I felt accepted and treated normally by everyone
>except other (non-adopted) asians
>always asking me if I'm whitewashed
>what is it like "growing up white"
>"don't you wish you were raised by your real parents?"

What is wrong with being adopted by a different...
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Its not just Asian people it's all people.
t. 3rd gen immigrant
>>
before you can expect people to understand you, you must try to understand them.

this isn't to say you should agree with them, but your life is the only you've ever known, and theirs is theirs. so think about theirs.

they may not (or at least not all of them) may not be saying that there is something wrong with your up bringing, but they might be curious. despite hwo non racist we think we are, we do tend to think of our species as having a sort of same mind.

so asians wont ask white people what its like growing up white, but they will ask another...
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its called racism op. and it reaches all people, white, black, red, tan, yellow brown, purple, blue.

its sad people are like that
don't you wish everyone was like your parents
I do

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What's your opinion of guy friends of your girlfriend?

>Usually text her once a day. Sometimes once every few days.
>Known the gf for awhile
>Invites her to events and such (group events where the guy is with a lot of other people)

Should I be worried?
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You should be worried that you have doubts about your girl.
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>>17504388

We're not going to sit her and hypothesize about the behavior of two people we don't know. That's pointless. Any opinions we could give you about that would be pulled completely out of our asses.

If you don't trust her then break up with her. Thats it.
>>
Trust issues or she's a whore. Or both. How could we know?

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It's been nearly a year since my crush died.

None of my friends knew her. I don't have anyone to mourn with. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one on the planet who remembers her.

How do I cope? A beautiful girl is gone and I don't even have anyone to confide in. It's been a year now and it still hurts.
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I'm sorry. What happened?
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>>17504406
Car crash.

Weird thing is, I didn't really know her that well. After she died, I learned more about her and developed the biggest crush. It sucks.
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>>17504445
It doesn't sound like you really knew her as a person then, so your crush is based around the idea of who you think she may have been. Seek professional help.

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>Dating girl for 3 weeks now
>Impossible to make plans with her, she doesn't respond to texts/calls for like 5-6 hours on end, even when I get the "read" mark
>No idea what the fuck she is doing, because she isn't that busy
>Another girl wants to date me, pretty much always replies instantly, and is considerate when making plans with her

I like the first girl a LOT, but fuck she is a pain in the ass to get a hold of or do...
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>Is it okay to go for a girl that is there for me?

That's how I read your post, man. Of fucking course you are justified in choosing a girl who actually puts in the effort.
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>>17504360
My dad always said "dont put in the time if she cant put in a dime"
Meaning if she cant give you ten minutes of her time, drop her.
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>>17504360
ddue girl 1 is a fucking flake drop her...spent too much time before with a girl like that and it's fucks with your head.
never settle either...if girl 2 isn't what your looking for in a girl (even looks-wise) don't settle because she is the only one who seems to pay attention. get more hobbies/interests network more and get out and find what you want its not gonna wander in through the door.unfortunately in all the million and millions of girls out there only 2 seem interested you may be kinda...
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I asked a girl I know out and she said no but then she said "We can still be friends." and I said "I'll pass but thanks." She got upset because I didn't want to be her friend and called me an asshole.

Am I an asshole?
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you're an ass for saying it and not just not talking to her anymore
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>>17504369
That seems like a bigger asshole move to me. Just stop talking for no reason with no closure? How is that better?
>>
your an ass for saying that, in that way. but not an ass for not wanting to be friends with her anymore after this.

shoulda done it slowly or expressed your feelings in a diferent way rather than saying ill pass.

A bit ago, my girlfriend, she was kind of in a relationship with an older guy, I think he was 19. Their relationship didn't extend much past kissing (and at one point 3rd base). She was pretty much entirely dependant emotionally on him. As far as I know she wasn't being taken advantage of, but I can't be completelt sure. We've been dating for about 3 months now, and she talks about him a lot. He just left for college and has completely cut her off. She gets really sad about it, and is still very close with his younger sister. Today, my girlfriend was at the...
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>>17504293
Shes not over him.

Dump her. This will not go away.
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>>17504293
>She was pretty much entirely dependant emotionally on him
>Their relationship didn't extend much past kissing
Unrelated to my advice, but homie do you really believe this?

She's definitely not over him. It has nothing to do with you, but you need to dump her. Nothing good will come out of being someone who's not entirely there.
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>>17504314
Honestly, I don't really believe her. I've heard the rumors, everyone says they had sex. I would literally crush her if i dumped her, she has next to no friends, and everyone looks at her like a slut. I love her, and she says and acts like she loves me too, but i just can't see myself letting go of how worried i am about her talking about her ex so much.

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>going to school for sculpting at the top art school in the country
>disappointed father, mom, but supported by everyone else
>hardly any debt, though

Why's it so bad? I don't plan on being rich, just to have a career as a sculptor. I don't plan on marriage nor do I plan on kids.
What do you guys think?

>inb4 some stem elitist tries to act superior
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>>17504289

Because you're not following the norm of 'make money > get house > get wife > have kids.' And in a sense, they probably want to live through you. But as long as you're happy, it doesn't matter what they think.
>>
Your life - do what you want
>>
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>>17504289
as long as you are happy I'll be happy for you too

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I'm okay with my life as it is, but I'm getting bored. I wanna change some shit that I do and perhaps get into some exciting hijinks as a result, but I'm unimaginative as fuck. I'd also prefer not to do shit that's super common. Some possibly relevant info about me:

>22
>male
>plain attire
>always do my hair the same way
>have been dating a girl for a year and a half
>last...
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>>17504282
You say you like walking. Have you thought about taking up hiking/backpacking? Take a look at /out/, it's really fun.

Sometimes I like to fill up my gas tank and just drive in a random direction. It satiates that urge to explore, and you'll find some awesome places along the way.
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>>17504291
That sounds like a good idea phamalam. I go on road trips occasionally, but I never go too far, and they're never longer than a few days. Perhaps I could hit the road during autumn break or something. And hiking might be cool, especially with the terrible heat beginning to die down.
>>
>>17504282
Wait for college to end. Shit will get hektik quick.

Cars are neat, try that. All the cool shit from the 90's is super cheap these days and stuff from 96 and back doesn't have to emissions test.

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A while ago I posted about considering leaving my religion and how to do it.

I became convinced enough to leave. The thing is...I don't think they're aware I've left yet???

I haven't attended in 5 weeks (if not 6) and people still think I'm there and have started messaging me and texting me. For now, I've just been avoiding these. It's utterly confusing and while I feel like we should "rip off the band-aid" I'm not interested in meeting with these people and having a conversation that is almost certainly going...
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just 'ghost' - don't reply, for sure don't meet with them, just go do other stuff.

Mormon?
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>>17504278
This here.

Keep in contact with the people that matter and don't bother responding to the rest. If you don't give them ammunition, they have nothing to use against you. Don't JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain) because nothing you say will be acceptable.
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>>17504278
Damn, I didn't save the old thread, but a lot of people thought I was. Naw, just a different kinda cult except it used the Bible.

So I've never ever had trouble finding a job.

>I have always passed and aced interviews. >I'm an excellent writer.
>I have great customer service and speaking skills.
>College educated and applying to entry level jobs that only require a HS Diploma.

I moved to a new area thinking I wouldn't have any trouble for the above reasons. Since moving I haven't gotten any e-mail responses to any ads I've been replying to on Craigslist. I'm mostly...
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>craigslist

I see your problem there
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>>17504272
Should I go into random law offices with my resume? I feel like most of them will think I'm annoying and I'll have my resume thrown in the trash by the current receptionist.
>>
>>17504284

I would seriously never consider applying for a job on craigslist, unless it was some weird-ass shit.

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Does anyone know a way to make suicidal thoughts go away quickly?
All of a sudden, something will set me off, then I'll have a desire to hang myself. It's not the committing suicide itself that I'm worried about, but rather I quickly get depressed afterwards.

Note that I've only been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.
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>>17504204

>Note that I've only been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder

Nice meme, but ''depression'' been proven to be a big myth invented by grown babies who cant take anything in life.
>>
>>17504210
How so?
>>
>>17504210
>been proven to be a big myth
Gonna need a citation on that.

>Also, guy who never had depression.

OP want to talk about it? Hit me on e-mail on treloseden@gmail.com to chat, I'm going to sleep soon, but have a half an hour to talk, if you'd be willing to.

I need help figuring out if theres a way to get rid of added sound effects to music clips. I took the infinate warfare trailer and turned it into an mp3 but i want to erase the gun fire, crashing noises and talking. Could anyone advise me as to how to do that or point me to an app that does? Im using an android device.
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>>17504203
You need help figuring out how to stop being a fucking retard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-igKvOAUV0
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>>17504235
Its not the same fucking song you inbred deaf piece of shit did you even compare it? No, you fucking didnt.
>>
>>17504346
My bad, I didn't feel like listening to shit for someone else.

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So I'm dating my best friend's ex, and I have been for a couple years now.
He and I are no longer on speaking terms.
He fucked her over on multiple occasions.

Is this acceptable given the circumstances?

I have no regrets, but I know there are many people who dislike me because of this despite not knowing the whole story.
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If you truly have no regrets, why are you asking us?
>>
If he was a dick and fucked her over and was generally a dick over all, then yeah, I'd have no qualms about it.
>>
>>17504170
I don't think I'm in the wrong. Doesn't necessarily meant that's the case though. I just wanted some insight from others.

>>17504175
He randomly decided to move across the country right after they began living together. They only dated a year. While she was here pining over him, he was fucking around, so I told her.
It's fucked up, but I had really grown to care for her, and I was sick of seeing her so upset all the time.
We...
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You guys are alright.
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thanks man I love you
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Thanks m8
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>>17504150
A girl called me perfect today while I was totally myself

Moral of the story : keeping it real goes a long way and fuck the haters

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I'm fucking afraid /adv/. Today my gf who I live with under permission from her grandmother asked her pregnant sister for her DVD player. The sister did what she usually does and started a fight about irrelevant things. She started screaming about how I shouldn't live here and mooch off of the grandmother when in reality I give her a large portion of my paycheck a month. She holds over our head the fact that she's underaged and can call the cops but the romeo and juliet law in Florida allows it since she has permission and she's 16 (I'm 18). She gets...
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>I live with my 16 year old girlfriend's family
>Florida
gross
>>
From what you've told us, there's no reason for you to be worried about police. Worst that can happen to you is grandma tells you to leave. Also, this story reeks of Florida, so nobody judge op too harshly, he's a product of his environment
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>>17504102
Florida fucking sucks and the only positive thing about it in my eyes is that most people here share my political views, but even then, how long can you handle just being around people who think the same as you. As for the police, I have no proof of the husband beating me and I don't know enough about the romeo and juliet law to be confident in it. I'm scared of the grandma telling the police she doesn't want me here because 3 of the 4 girls who live there bully her and she's sick of them and...
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I am living on my own with disability, and I recently left my friends who were doing shady things. I don't have enough money for most online meetups, except for two I can attend next month. This month, I can count the amount of friendly conversations I have had on one hand. This is causing me to feel a lot of hopelessness and grief. I am using the govt for employment training, but a job could be many months ahead.

Any advice is appreciated, thank you.
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>>17504061

What disability?

Do you get NEETbucks for it or do you work? If so, income / education?
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>>17504323
disability is NEETbucks

I'm in a govt job training program, and I also found someone to give me a job reference, back when I was around people

it's not too desperate a situation, just the loneliness aspect is kinda sick
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>>17504331

I dunno man, being broke and having no friends as a result is pretty normal. Not having money to drive somewhere is pretty much a social life killer.

I asked "what disability" because you pretty much need to work on the money thing.

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So its pretty hard for me to tolerate normies in general. The way they talk and behave usually make me cringe, not to mention that their tastes in general just don't fit my interests.

However, my major demands that I try my hardest to relate to them, form teams, get to know each other, etc. In fact, several classes need me to do it this semester.

But damm Its hard, and I just find it repulsive to a point I wish I could just study something else and abandon these retards forever.

How can I cope with these feelings? Are there any methods to dealing...
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Havent figured it out yet myself, only found out that regular visits on 4chan makes it worse
I f.e. ranted so much about "popular" pop music and normal people that even my brother scolded me lately for being too intolerant/unfair to normies/normie stuff

Trying to be more toleant now but its sometimes really hard
>>
Focus on the intelligent, kind normies. They might do things that are trendy and annoying, but their social involvement actually helps them contribute positively to society, if they are truly quality people and not just soda drinkers.

Behave like you're in a cliche movie where the person settles their differences in an effort to see the bits of good in everyone.

This advice may sound gay, but appreciation and good will are somewhat opposite to hard prejudice and hate.
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>>17504070
>soda drinkers
Huh. That's a pretty great insult.

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We were at a party and when were both a bit tipsy he tried to interlock my hands and i let him do it. We interlocking our hands for awhile while dancing before i let go. What does it mean?
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>>17504048
FYI we are friends not some dude I met in the party
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lol dumbass what do you think it means

he wants out of the friend zone

up to you if you want out too
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>>17504054
kek

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I took several years off of school, took a couple programming classes a year ago and I'm going back for IT right now. Computer classes have all been easy enough for me so far, I have a 4.0 in my major, but for the most part I'm uninterested in it. Besides 4chan and social media on my laptop I don't really use any technology outside of school. All of the other things I'd like to maybe major in (music, history, foreign language) or do (open a restaurant, start a farm) don't seem like very good decisions if I want stability and work-life balance. I'm...
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>>17504031
I was kind of in the same shoes as you OP. Had really got grades doing Computer Science at a solid university, but had no real interest in technology or programming outside of school. I'm currently two months into my first internship and struggling mightily.
>>
do you want a stable boring shitty life or the potential to chase your dreams?
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>>17504031

I am on the exact same boat. Been struggling for years on my engineering careers. It has its ups and downs.

The way I cope with it is by having the goal to become proficient on other things, hobbies etc, while also continuing here and see where it takes me.

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Hi /adv/, I got one for you.

So I've taken an interest in this Arab girl at my university. She's Muslim but she's a few generations deep into America, so she's pretty Westernized and laid back about religion. I think she might also be interested in me from the times we have talked.

The problem with this is that I'm a white guy (duh) from a Catholic family of Polish heritage.

I really like this girl and I think she's cute, but I feel like if I managed to get into a relationship with her, I would be betraying my ancestors and my faith.

Should I drop it with her, or try and learn to get over these uncomfortable feelings?

Also my grandparents never taught my parents Polish, thus I don't know it either. So any Polish on here, please use English.
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Did she get her clit chopped off?

If so, did her parents let her keep it in a jar of formaldehyde?
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>>17503997

Say "Make America Great Again" when you finish having sex with her.
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>>17503999
From what she's said, both her grandparents came here from the Middle East in the late 60s and then had her parents soon after. She doesn't wear any type of veil. So my guess is no.

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How can I ask a girl if she already has a boyfriend without her noticing it?
Also: how can I stop that feeling at the stomach that hits me when I think about her? I can't do anything else when this happens and it's frustrating, and it's happening a lot of times recently. It's a crush or is it love? Why is her smile so beautiful for fuck sake?
Honestly only the first question needs an answer.
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1. Don't ask her if she has a boyfriend and she's happy being with him, just wait a bit and if she breaks up someday, get the chance
2. It's normal.
3. You know if it's love or crush, not us.
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>>17504005
Oh, I mean that I want to know if she has a boyfriend but not by asking her directly or by saying stupid shit like "I hope I’m not taking your boyfriend’s seat". I want a smart question. Thanks for the other answers.
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>>17504044
One way that girls show interest in guys is asking if they're seeing anyone. If you're a guy, you can get away with this too, and it might drop a hint. If she says yes, there are two possibilities.
1) she has a boyfriend, and isn't interested
2) she doesn't have a boyfriend, but still isn't interested.

If you think she's single and she's sending good vibes your way, courage up and just ask her. There's no other way for you to know


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