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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 483. page
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So here's the story, I worked at a construction company and was due for a lay off around halloween, at which time I was going to collect EI and chill out. I got a call from my sister and also from my cousin about my mom. She's a nice lady but not overly realistic, she gets 800$ a month and just rented a huge house for 725$ a month...this leaves 75 for food, cable,phone,electricity,heat. That's simply impossible here. We sat down with her and tried to talk her out of living there but she refused and also had signed a lease. After thinking about it a bit I moved...
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>>17498932
Yeah, fuck her.
The problem with people in general is that if you try to do decent things for them to help them out, without screaming in their fucking ear daily how you're only doing it to help them out (in which case you become a manipulative asshole) is that they take it for granted and just want more.
Your mom is obviously irresponsible with money, and usually people who are also feel entitled to others' money as if their mere existence is a blessing.

Take this as a lesson in how not to...
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Yeah I guess you're right. Her whole family (and by that she means her siblings, not me and my sister lol) are a bunch of neets living on some form of disability or similar, actually only 1 aunt has a job, I guess she's the black sheep.

I guess I just missed living alone and not seeing any relatives much, had just dumped my gf too and felt lonely. I also felt bad for my mom because she was really nice to me when I was younger and did a lot for me (though, not financially lol). I think what pisses me off the most is how she doesn't realize I was up at...
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>>17498932
Run lad. Your mum will guilt you for everything she can. Not because she doesn't love you, but because she has no concept of finance and thinks your $7000 is just throw around money which she is entitled to.

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Is it too late for me to get back into anime?

I used to gobble that shit up twelve years ago (I was in middle school at the time) when [adult swim] was just starting up. But lost interest after a while because the stuff they kept sending over were just the same regurgitating shit over-and-over again with nary a thing to make them fresh or distinct. So I've dropped it since without predicting that it, or nerd/geek culture in general, would grow to as big as it is now. Now I'm starting to feel left out, but also too out-of-touch to start up again. And I kind of...
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Who gives a shit it's just entertainment


"le quirky nerdy anime/capeshit" people are just insecure normies. If all you wanna do is fuck a cosplaying qt you don't need to watch shit. Just go to a convention and don't be ugly.
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>>17498889

Also, it's not too late. There are 60 year olds who browse /a/.
>>
Who gives a fuck. Most people who say they like anime don't know actually know shit all about anime--Cosplayers in particular.

They tend to know like 5 or 6 shows they think are cool and that's it.


On a side note, I probably started watching anime 15 or more years ago, and I've watched hundreds of animes, it's still the same shit and hasn't really grown much.

It's all just rehashed amalgams of the same subject recycles ad naseum. It's just that every like 3 or so years what's popular to become a clone of changes.

But...
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So, I'm a god damn wreck.

>23, kissless virgin
>isolated
>can't get out of bed in the morning even though it's summer break here (still in uni, will be until I'm 26 due to military service and changing major twice, tho not even old compared to others in my field)
>quit my job because I couldn't stand working in retail any longer
>live with dad, can't find roommates that will take me in,...
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Pls, help.

I don't just want attention, I'm seriously lost.
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Well i don't think you are "fucked" at all. What has caused the isolation? Social Anxiety? A lot of what you just described are standard symptoms of depression. Whats up anon? Tell me your feels.
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>>17498909
I just feel absolutely worthless. I'm talk and in moderate shape but I have an ugly af face. I'm extremely shy, bitter and hopeless. I can't talk to people like I'm fucking autistic, I don't have anything that excites or interests me, I have a hard time making/keeping friends and I avoid getting out of the house because I'm literally crippled by self doubt and self hatred. I lie in bed all day crying and picturing my suicide because at this point I really don't see another out anymore.

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I wrote a letter confessing my love, and some other important shit, to my best friend (who has a boyfriend).
I legit love her and want to confess it, even if we just stay as friends forever.
We're in a very caring relationship and i don't want that to change.
Should i do it? Will she somehow stop giving a shit about me if i do it(it's quite common that women tend to stop giving a shit once they know you like them)
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If you do it, she'll stop talking to you. I'm sure she'll understand how you feel but if she's in a good relationship with her partner and respects him, then once she knows you have feelings from her yours and her relationship will be seen as inappropriate as long as she is with this other guy, and she'll cut ties with you. This is not a smart idea.
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>>17498855
>my stomach drops
Who thought this sounds good?
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>>17498884
It's like balls reverse-dropping

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Hey /adv/, how do you deal with the other person needing more space than you? I have friends and hobbies outside her, it's just that I constantly feel lonely without her. When I've offered to go to her place, she says she's not feeling well, so I haven't pushed that. It's getting very frustrating for me, because I like her and don't want to fuck up what we have. We're still sorta in the honeymoon phase - does this mean that we're just fundamentally incompatible or is this something that I can work on? If yes, how?

TL;DR: OP is too...
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>>17498852
>When I've offered to go to her place, she says she's not feeling well
>honeymoon phase
lel I do this too, but only because I wanna look cute, and I can't do that if a guy suddenly says "hey, let's hang out in 30 minutes!
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>>17498852
Try doing different things together. You read a book while she's doing her math homework or whatever. Each in your own brain-space but able to look up and see the other.
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>>17499152
Actually really good advice. Thanks.

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Okay, here I go /adv/.

>Be 29
>virgin
>finally have chance to lose it
>Tried to have sex with a girl i know
>No condoms
>I'm too out of shape
>Halferect.jpg
>Already panting in like 5 mins into the run
>Kept on trying to get it in
>just won't

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>>17498851

Addition to this is that I've tried talking to her on occasionally, but she doesn't want to talk to me at all.

What do I do now /adv/?
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>>17498872
ok you are about to become a wizardo anon.
what is wrong with that?
are you crippled?
deformed?
have an extremely low paying job?

well then, everyone goes through something harsh. you don´t have to kill yourself.
you don´t need to fall for the ¨sex is the greatest thing ever¨ meme

just don´t anon.
also you wouldn´t want the title of the daily news to be ¨29 yo kills himself because he couldn´t get laid¨

go to a gym
read a book
eat your favorite meal

there...
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>>17498904
>been trying to get better in life before mess
>applying for jobs and all that shit
>been trying to be more healthy as well

It's just that an opportunity for sex is just too damn hard to resist, and now I end up regretting it.

So anon, what are my chances? I don't really want to see this take a turn for the worse.

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In the past month, my long distance girlfriend of two years moved in with my family after her's moved to a much further state (used to be a 2 hour drive b/t us, it'd be a 15 hour drive if she had went with them). My autistic mind accepted her idea of moving in with me and my family (which is already cancer). She gets jealous at normal interactions in my life between anyone she thinks I'm giving extra attention to and anytime I'm alone she wants me back asap. I'm not fucking any other girls but she doesn't have much faith in me. I'll like friend's...
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>>17498829
be strong and break up

obviously this relationship isn´t making you happy.

this is about you not her. relationships should be for both parts, you are doing yours she isn´t and that isn´t your fault.


talk to her one last time, tell her exactly what you´ve written here and go from there.
tell her you are doubting your feelings for her and that she should do something about herself or else you are out


be more of a man anon. you are anon not a doormat
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>>17498829
OP, from your post your girlfriend sounds very toxic, childish and insecure.
The thing about living with people is their absolute worst traits come out and you see who they really are. Often what you see is not what you thought you wanted in a person.
Her behavior is not reasonable. Talking with her will not be productive if she is a very manipulative, irrational person. Simply tell her she needs to leave. Dont give her reasons, don't let her prey on your emotions. Tell her you need time to rethink the...
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You're not a good match and she has some souls arching shit to do, and the burden of supporting her as if she's your wife doesn't rest with you. Tell her about everything you've told us here, and that if she can't put in some more effort to appreciating the work you do for her then it'll be quitting time. Put your foot down and stop being all pussy whipped. You're not her parent, your her boyfriend and you need things to support each other, not just you being a crutch for her.

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Hi /adv/. I'm a 21yo virgin. Never even kissed a girl before. So two months ago I finally found a gf. And for the last month we'd cuddle in the bed when we meet. Since I started groping her butt and get more intimate, with more passion and stuff, I had 3 times that I came into my pants. Yes, we cuddle with clothes all the time. Well... Once we were only with underwear, but the last two time we were with clothes on and still. We get hot, passionate, and suddenly I feel I'm about to cum. And it happens. Never told her, because I'm very ashamed.

After...
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Im the same as yah, it sucks man.
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>>17498820

No expert on the matter, but maybe masturbate more?

If your more sexually fulfilled maybe you wont cum as easily.
>>
What is it about her that's so sexy that you cum in your pants? Does she have an amazing figure or something?

I want to learn german.
Where do I begin?
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>>17498810
https://www.youtube.com/user/DrachenLord1510/videos
This is a well known and universally appreciated German linguist and philosopher. Watching all of his videos will elevate your German language speaking skills to a level in which you will be perceived as native German.
>>
How much time do you have?

If it's just for interest, then just peruse dw.de educational pages.

Popular self-study books are FSI and Assimil.
FSI is free.
Assimil, you can get "German without toil" cheaply from abebooks.

Don't buy german dubs dvds. Subtitle doesn't match. And german dubs are awful.

Deponia is a recommended game. Great german voice acting with subs. Wait for discounts from gog/steam. Make an alert.

Just do something first and assess your progress after 1 month. Don't be paralyzed with the...
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>>17498816
he kinda ugly. You have something with a hot women?

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I want an honest answer on this,
the other day, out of curiosity, I asked my boyfriend if he would ever date a feminine guy (like a trap, or an mtf) or if he would fuck one.
He avoided the question, and it bugged me, so I pushed it further. He got angry and said that it isn't even relevant if we have each other, and that he didn't know, he had no answer for it, because he doesn't put much thought into it.

What do you guys think?? The tension is still quite heavy between us. I don't know what to do.
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>>17498799
So you insulted his manhood implying he was gay and you see no problem with that?
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>>17498803
Instances happened to lead me to think that.
e.g. he was friends with a trap before, saw his legs, told me he really liked them (esp. the sharp knees)
he linked me to a mtf's tumblr before and said she was cute.
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>>17498808
jesus, what a disgusting bf
you should think about this or talk to him.

but above all, you should think about how this makes you think regarding your bfs sexuality.

I´d hate to date a bisexual

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I'm close to fapping my way into erectile dysfunction
Should I just go ahead and do it so it takes my mind off girls forever?
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dont do it please
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>>17498797
Do it.

If you're not in the top 20% of males then having a sex drive is just an endless source of problems and frustration.
I wish I could kill all my feelings of attraction towards women.
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>>17498797
>fapping my way into erectile dysfunction

How do I achieve this?

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Guys, help.

I have a major crush on the little sister of my gf and I think she likes me too. She laughs every time I say something "funny", agrees with me on everything and constantly does little favors for me.

I would just avoid her, but she regularly sleeps at our place, so that's not an option.

It's getting worse and worse. I still love my gf, but her sister is not only better looking than her, but I also really enjoy being around her because we just kinda click.

How do I get this shit out of my head?

Even if I were...
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why does our minds even allow shit like this? funny isn't it
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I'm so fucking jealous right now.
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>>17498793
>I think my gf would literally kill herself over this
I think her father would kill you over this

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Is it possible to add new whatsapp contact without phone?
My sister borrowed my iPhone to take photos during her short camping trip. I just got the new phone number from someone I've just met. Is there a way that I can Whatsapp him without a physical phone to add him to my contact list?
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>>17498790

don´t understand what you want but you can use that app without a phone.
It´s called whatsapp web
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>>17498815
>you want but you can use that app without a phone
yeah but when my phone is not online it says "phone not connected" and i cant use whatsapp web
What I mean is I don't have my phone with me right now. I got a new phone number and I want to send a Whatsapp message to that number. Is that possible?
>>
>>17498815
IF he linked the phone to whatsapp web, otherwise he can't, not with his account.

The easiest way would be to tell his sister to add the contact. and also to fuck off and get her own phone, it's not like an old model would be expensive.

The women in wheelchair need boyfriends? How can i get one?
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>>17498789
Sacrifice kittens to satan.
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>>17498798
wut
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>>17498789

*shrug* same way as anyone else really? Go out side, meet people, do the dating thing.

Personally, I'm pretty sure Wheelchair would not be on my list of deal breakers.

Deaf might be (because I don't know sign language, like music, and It would make communications and conversations much more difficult and that's something I truly value)
Celiacs or might be (because I enjoy food and craft beer and it's probably one of my passions in life. Though I HAVE gone out with someone...
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My ex casually mentioned having a 3some with me and current grill. Got your attention?

Background: about 7 years ago started dating qt3.14, lets go with Lisa. We were both at uni, good fun, no ragrats. We dated for about 2.5 yrs, but were totally toxic for each other. Both our grades went down, smoked more weed, always broke, etc. After graduating i got a big boy job (still have it actually) and she proceeded to do nothing. i couldn't/wouldn't support her entirely, plus some other bs and we broke up. Enter grill 2.

I moved a ways away, but still easy...
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>>17498787

>Jenny and i have never been monogamous
Jenny knows this?
>were totally toxic for each other
You already fuck lisa is not like that would never happend or that the friendship is at risk.
If I were you I would be more worried about if Jenny wants to share you with other woman while she is in town, I mean is not the same, you may need to hook up when Jenny is not there for you but when she is there she probably wants to be only with you (I...
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>>17499035
>Jenny knows this?
Yes it's not been a secret, i know of some guys she's been with and she knows some of mine

Thanks for the advice yo, hadn't even considered that she wouldn't want to share me when she was in town for a limited time. Glad to have an outside view on what i can't see right in front of my face :)
>>
Good luck, at the final of the message I wrote Lisa but I mean Jenny
>Tell Jenny sooner as you can if she wants to try that
If the two of them are fun girls they probably want to try it

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>How do you do?
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>>17498694
Awful.
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>>17498694
And hello to you.
>>
Just came here to say that happines does not make great art. CIP Scooter.

Is it just me? It's more of a psychological/aesthetic aversion than to do with personality.

I can't make friends, just a maximum of one romantic partner.
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>>17498693
You need to realize how awful the other gender is too.
>>
>>17498697
I know girls are awful but at least they look kinda nice.
>>
>>17498697
Nice joke

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Have tried to be reasonable with my gf in regards to her exercising manipulation on me but wont stop. Expects me to take her out and spend my money even if I'm struggling financially. Has told me before that when she watches gossip girl it motivates her to ruin peoples lives.

Lately she has been acting absolutely crazy, screaming at me, yelling, she been hanging around these dirty sluts from her work and I want to break up with her but feel as if I love her too much. She embarrasses me in front of my friends and makes belittleing comments. Even when she's infront...
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>what's wrong with me?
You're a submissive faggot.

>How do I fix this shit?
By learning the word "no". Although I doubt you can do anything about her at this point. just break up and remember what happens when you act like a little bitch.
>>
Dump the bitch fuck, if she is ruining your life stop romantisicing you can make it better
>>
>>17498669
So... she treat you like shit. Use your money for her personal amusement. After you say that shit about the cruise, pretty sure that she also cheat on you. And you "love her too much"? How exactly you can call love something like this? You want to fix it? Break up with her and try to find someone who respect and love you.

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No one cares about me. I think I have just one friend. Lately I've just been getting the urges to steal small things at work because I know nobody gives a shit about me. I'm a ghost. So far I've done a good job of suppressing these feelings but, I fear I'll actually do it and get in trouble. No one likes a thief. I work retail and I know how my store works so the urges to steal are pretty great.

Just the other day, some customer dropped a really cool looking folding knife. It was pink but it looked cool so I immediately pocketed it, planning on lying...
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>>17498653
Seems petty. No point in doing something that has little reward but can get you in big trouble, even if the risk is low. Unless you are 100% sure you will not get caught.
>>
>>17498653
Get your daily dose of adrenalin elsewhere.
>>
>>17498653
You are a scumbag. Nobody is going to the give you the attention you so desperately crave if you act like a degenerate

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>A girl I like asked me to e-mail her some e-books
>I said "wait"
>She ask "How long do I have to wait?"

What is the funniest or flattering respond? Something that will make her laugh without insulting her? please halp.
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Why do you want to be funny or flattering? Also it isnt funny if you take too much time to respond.
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>>17498646
I tend to think woman like it? I don't know man, I rarely text girl I liked
>>
>>17498664
You are already doing something for her for naught. Seems like a bad deal all around.

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So like... is there anything that will keep my nose clear when I wake up? Claritin, benadryl and nasal spray helps only after I wake up, get up and go use them.

but as SOON as I awaken my nose is 100% blocked, my eyes are 100% puffy. I don't know what to do anymore. The nasal spray my allergist gave to me was SUPPOSED to apparently clear up my nose blockage after some time and use and keep it clear, but it's been a month and it's not going anywhere.

I've tried cutting out wheat and dairy, that didn't help. I've tried SO MANY different...
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>>17498618
Do you blow your nose before going to sleep? I snort a bit of water up my nose and then blow my nose before going to sleep. It seems like a small thing but just doing that on a consistent basis has cleared up my sinuses.
>>
The detergent you're using to wash your clothes?
>>
>>17498618
Afrin, you'll get addicted to it but that shit clears anything

So what are the essential things I need to do when I get a girlfriend and how do manage to keep them after the first date?
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>>17498600
Bump
>>
>>17498655
Bump
>>
>>17498600
>So what are the essential things I need to do when I get a girlfriend
1) Take care of yourself: your body, your mind, your finances, and your social life. None of these things has to be perfect; it just has to be clear that you are not neglecting any of them.

2) Get yourself out there. The best places to approach women are purely social situations: clubs and bars are the cliche, but interest groups, classes that are not part of a school or work curriculum, and even stores...
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Yo /adv/, I woke up really early this morning, 5:00 AM. and I need advice on what the fuck to do. It's been an hour and I need help. Everyone else is asleep.
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just stare at the wall you little fig
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>>17498594
I was summoned here
What's the problem anon?
>>
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>>17498606
i am fig

>>17498611
I got up early to take my brother to the airport. now I don't know what to do, I can't make any noise because the others are sleeping, I'm tired but I don't want to sleep

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Does anyone of you use water filters? Primarily for estrogen removal from tap water?

If yes please recommend one.
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>>17498578
> Primarily for estrogen removal
ahahahahahaah
>>
>>17498578
It's too late.
>>
This sounds like total pseudoscience bs. Educate yourself.

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Hi /adv/!

I came for... advices. What a surprise!

I got a new girlfriend recently, and she has papillomavirus (HPV), which is a pretty common STD. She told me before so it's no surprise. I don't want to get infected but neither of us is asexual. Also, we love each other and I will not dump her.

So here are my questions:
- What should I absolutely avoid not to get infected?
- Will I take a real risk if I just use my fingers (without visible lesions on it) to masturbate her?
- Any idea to "have sex" without coitus? I already have...
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>>17498561
Dump her or go asexual. Or you can share the disease between you.
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>>17498564
None of these really are options... I know there are some way to stimulate each other sexually without taking any risk, for example masturbating simultaneously. Are there better ways? Is the fingers' skin vulnerable to this infection? If yes, is infection guaranteed of is it just, like, a small chance?
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>>17498561
>>17498566
have you considered doing some research or even a google search? you can literally get all the information you're looking for on wikipedia

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I posted that thread yesterday about being heartbroken and not knowing whether to try to get back with the guy that was gone.

Against my better judgement possibly, I talked to him, and was receptive, we talked about why he thought it was okay to just up and leave, and we're going to be hanging out again. I don't know if this is even helpful, /adv/, but I guess you can't just always give up on someone, even if they gave up on you. I don't know, is what I'm doing, trying to revive a relationship a bad idea?
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>>17498550

unless he tells you why he did it, it's pointless and you'll spend 99% of your time worrying he's going to walk out again.

Exes are exes for a reason I'm my opinion. You should always be stepping forward instead of back - and this is true of every aspect of your life
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>>17498551
He pretty much said he thought I was going to leave him, and to not take rejection, he would just reject me before, so I guess lessen the pain. That's definitely understandable, I think, right? I don't know, am I just struck with blind love? I would follow this man anywhere.
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You're full of shit, OP. Don't get you get tired of making up stories?

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A friend of mine (R) told me a family friend of his (FF) needed help with some DNS forwarding shit, and he said FF would give me £40 for the work (but he had obviously pulled this number out of his arse, so I didn't consider it set in stone). I did it, and I think I made an offhand remark about how it took 5 minutes and £50 is quite a lot.

I was to be paid by FF through R in cash. R paid me £20 and I remember feeling weird about it at the time, because although I'd said it was an easy job and I knew the £40 wasn't necessarily agreed with FF, we hadn't...
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*£40 is quite a lot
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>>17498543
Just tell them both that you'll do the job the day you see the £40.
If FF is saying he'll pay you £40 (and he's mentioning the number, not just 'same as last time'), then either he's scamming you, or R scammed both of you to keep £20. That's not acceptable, but easily solved by not doing a thing before you're paid.
If you do anything else, you end up mixing yourself in this mess, which will take more time than it's worth, and for sure more than £20's worth.
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>>17498588
yeah, FF said this: "last time was £40, is that still ok?". I know R can be a bit weird with money (he smokes way too much weed) but even then I think this would be a very surprising thing for him to do.

As I said, I don't really give a fuck about the money but I don't want him to potentially get away with having ripped me off, so would you say it's worth bringing it up with FF and having them state that they definitely gave R £40 to pass on to me? I'm gonna do the job anyway...
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>find guy i knew in college working in same company as me
>thought he was "too cool/popular" for me so we barely spoke and i kinda forgot about him
>we talk and it turns out he's really nice
>even waits for me to go home together
>mfw he even trips over his words and talks nervously and we're both pretty awkward

here's the thing though
>i come in for my first...
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>>17498532
Bump
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Are you planning on fucking him or something?
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Surely he is hurt that you "stole" the project from him.

But people usually like their co-workers, so id say youare in the clear.

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Just went yesterday to the doc, and he diagnosed me with what it was bugging me for a week.
I have a floater in my right eye that really worsen my job performance. I've lost attention and I'm not able to concentrate for a long period of time.
He just prescribed me some vitamins, do this fucker really will go away with some vitamins or it's all placebo?
Pic related I only see something like the bigger one on the photo
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>will it go away with vitamins

lol nope

>or it's all placebo?

yes

theres nothing they can do for floaters. I have a few but its a string of circle cell shaped discs that dart back and forth at a slower rate when i glance back and forth.

annoying but shit all they can do.
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>>17498523
Your brain will eventually be able to ignore them and you will stop seeing them most of the time unless you actually try to.
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>>17498534
So I'm just condemned for my entire life to be unproductive due to those things?

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Does anyone here think about suicide much?

I'll be honest with all of you, i'v grown more worthless with each passing day, i deal with my Gender Dysphoria every day, and it's been 5 or 6 years since i started thinking there is something wrong with me, but now, i know i just need help, but sadly it's hard for me to speak out about my feelings to people in real life, because i have an issue with people seeing my face when i tell them about my Gender Dysphoria, i told my Dad, and that was really hard for me, i don't think he approved but he was...
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>>17498500
How long have you had this gender dysphoria or w/e?

Is it fairly recent or havr you been feelin this way dince you were like 4 or something?

I feel like all the positive reinforcement and support for people coming out as a man wanting to be a woman or vise versca is kinda'v like a double-egded sword.

On one hand its great for those individuals actually having diffuculty coming out, but on the other a bunch of lonley, sexually vulbnerable people with no real sense of self(identity,spiritually,emotionally,...
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>>17498500
Also shuttung yourself away from the world and real people are just making things worse for yourself.
You need to get out side, even if its going to the park or just walking around for a bit window-shopping or somethig. I guesd it all depends on your neighborhood or where you're at but shutting yourself away from the world with just your thoughts isn't healthy for anyone.
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>>17498688
I know it sounds like a meme like "just bee urself lol" but its actually not. And if you are feeling suicidal dont call the suicide hotline, i know it sounds counter productive or w/e but they'll just tell you ti call the police, then the police pmt or something will make you out to be the bad guy even if you've done nothing wrong. They'll take you to an ER and then take you to your local psyche ward for 4 days and 3 nights trying to get you hooked on meds you may or may not need and give...
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