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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 504. page
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So, a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend finally told his mother that his dad is cheating on her with her bestfriend, but somehow the whole situation has been turned on us.

My boyfriend is 24 and has known about their affair since he was 17. He never told because he didn't want to break his family apart and hurt his mom. We were planning on telling her after we had enough money to move out, but in a spur of the moment my boyfriend ended up telling her after his dad threatened to kick us out... and now she thinks we made it all up because he threatened to kick us out,...
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it's your boyfriend's family, not yours. let him handle it himself. anything you do will just be seen as shit stirring and there's at least a 50% chance your bf will get pissed at you for interfering in his family business. you're not married, you're not even engaged. you may get on with his family, you may even be *like* family to them, but you are not part of the family. it is a fine line but a very important one.

support your bf in whatever he decides to do about it, unless it's stupid. then tell him you don't think it's a good...
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>>17488776
This is why you stay out of other peoples' personal shit. It never ends up good for you. Just learn the lesson for later.
>>
Question for /adv: if someone's parents are adulterers, does that make it more likely that they will too become adulterers?

It's genetic, isn't it? I have a feeling OP's boyfriend will cheat one day as well

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Honest question, is it true that most women contantly wish to be reminded that they are loved by their partner, and that they are big on receiving affection frequently?

I just ask because this seems like a bit of an odd thing to me is all. Maybe it's because i'm a guy. Maybe it's because I think that the love between two people is more of an unspoken, mutual understanding rather than something that needs to be constantly brought up. I dunno.

But from girls that i've talked to along with good old word of mouth I get the idea that a lot of -though...
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>>17488754
Yeah, I surely appreciate being reminded I am loved.
People have different ways of understanding and showing love.
I am big on physical affection. I am very physically affectionate - kisses, hugs, cuddles, snuggling, whatever. I also tend to show love by making my partner's life easy - I like doing things like cooking for them, ironing and choosing their clothes, cleaning the house, reminding them their schedule. When it comes to feeling loved, tho, the thing that works best for me is being told nice things....
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Just think of how much you want sex, and that's how often women want to be reminded that they're loved,pretty, that they make delicious sandwiches, that they are good at whatever.

The reason men are always looking at porn is the same reason women are texting random dudes and posting hot photos to get likes. Same reward system in the lizard brain.
>>
I'm a girl and my ex used to constantly remind me to the point that it became really repetitive and obnoxious. My boyfriend now only reminds me every so couple of days and does it randomly, which to me makes it more meaningful and genuine.

I guess most girls think it'd be nice to constantly be reminded they're loved, maybe they should all date my annoying ex and see how unnecessary and stupid it really is. :D

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Sup /adv/. Long story short, I'm an r9ker / 4chaner that got sucked into a crazy party life in college. My female friend came over to my house today and we went to the most notroious frat in our college. She started getting cuddly with a guy and I told her that I was gonna leave after about an hour of that.

I did, but I feel like I should have stayed and baby sitted her.

We are very old friends and I'm afraid that I abandoned her at our most rapey frat. Did I do wrong, or is it not my problem?
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A friend would have stuck around to make sure she was going to be okay, not gone home because they're butthurt she's getting with another guy. Don't call yourself her friend if you're not going to act like one
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>>17488741
>crazy party life.
>goes to one party.
>ditches friend after an hour.
>crazy party life.

mfw
>>
>>17488746
>A friend would have stuck around to make sure she was going to be okay
He's not her baby sitter. It's pretty stupid to expect friends to hang around a party they're not having fun at just so you can get finger banged at a frat house known for being full of rapists.

In fact the bigger question to me is why would you want to party at a place only known for date rape?

GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some...
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If you're a girl and you and a boy were attracted to each other would you wait indefinitely for him to make the first move? Or would you do it after a while? What if you're like super shy?
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Ladies (and or gentlemen), I need a risk assessment before proceeding.

If we make eye contact a few times over about a month on public transport, would I be safe to strike up a conversation if the opportunity came up? Normally not on the prowl on a train of all places but feeling brave.
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>>17488786
It depends on how much I liked him

>>17488787
What do you have to lose?

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An online friend extremely close to me wants to make a tulpa because of their loneliness.
...How do I even react to this?
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>>17488714
Accept that they are lonely, probably a little mentally unstable, and proceed from there. At that point you'll need to decide how much the friendship is worth to you.
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>>17488714
I've seriously considered trying and read up on them a bit before. Overall, I'm glad I didn't go through with it, but I can understand how someone might want to, and feel pity for them. You have to be extremely lonely to consider something like this.
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>>17488734
He's so close to me, and I dont want him to fuck up his brain.
I'm just so scared of losing him. I don't know what to do...

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I met a nice girl, way too pretty to be talking to me and she likes me and thinks I'm sexy but she did say a couple of times that I'm weird and I hear that a lot from a lot of people including my friends and family. Although they say it in a positive way, I kinda get tired of hearing that I'm weird. It's not like I do weird stuff or anything, I'm quite social but maybe it's just the way I am...
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Weirdo. What advice do you need?
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Weird>Sheeple>Redneck>Boring.
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>>17488689
How can I find out what's so weird about me? I know I can say weird shit if I'm trying to make someone laugh but it gets annoying if they feel the need to adress the weirdness over and over

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Is it wrong to fantasize about a female platonic friend while masturbating?
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>>17488649
Only if you're on public transport.
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>>17488649
Everyone who has ever masturbated has done this.
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Sounds pretty normal.

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This may be a bit of a lengthy post so settle in.

I want to disappear, or goddamnit, I just want someone (a corporate entity, group, anything) to take me in and take care of me. I'll do anything, just please let me live.

I masturbate on and off (I've been doing this since HS to offset my depression/loneliness but it always makes it worse and makes me suicidal/even more depressed, the endorphin rush keeps me at it, i cant stop).

I've tried being normal etc and fitting in and atleast be accepted for once but nothing works, I'm always either...
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I've debated becoming a nun or joining a cult. It'd be a nice change of pace for an anxious person like me. Good luck on your igloo
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I've read your post a few times but I still can't really make out a problem. Are you depressed? Do you want to run away to start a new life? Or maybe you want to run away from it all and just hide?

newsflash, it isn't gonna get better. Do you really think if anyone took you away and took care of you it would get better? No. Maybe initially, but soon you'll be unhappy again with your unaccomplished life.

You wanna get better, work on improving yourself. Imo joining the army would be a good idea, you'll be part of a family, you'll focuss...
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>>17488666
Depressed and wanting to run away, army/military is out of the question due to how my parents are. People just don't like me.

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Has anyone had casual, consensual sex, often?


Have you ever regretted it? Why? How old were you?
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>>17488621
I don't understand your question? Are you thinking with many or? Because i've had sex plenty a times with my bf and we've been together since i was a teenager so..
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>>17488621
I've had lots of casual sex (I'm assuming yu mean with different partners - I am straight, male 45 btw).

I've never regretted it due to any affects it's had on me but I've regretted it due to affects on some of the women.

I have been engaging in casual sex for 30 years, while single and married and with single, separated and married partners. Casual sex is best when each person is coming from a matched set of circumstances and worst when the is a situational inequality (like...
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>>17488634
>>17488634
>>17488634
>I have been engaging in casual sex for 30 years, while single and married and with single, separated and married partners. Casual sex is best when each person is coming from a matched set of circumstances and worst when the is a situational inequality (like married guy, single girl).


That's exactly what I'm getting at.

Different partners,...
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Hey /adv/

I've been using the app Duolingo to learn German. I'm not the kind of auto-didact person but with this language I'm going serious.

The app is cool but I'd like to have also a book like those with excercises and songs and stuff like that, to learn more about grammar.

Anything would help.
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So yeah, I forgot to ask:

Which book would you recommend? (Prefferably if it's available to download, yo-ho ho)
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Optimal. There were torrents around. They also have separate exercise books.
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>>17488596
Google "basic german textbook"

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Comp Sci majors:

How hard is this degree and is it worth it? What kind of jobs can I get with this degree? What is it like to do that job?

I'm not that great at math and I'm terrible at understanding theory stuff like discrete math. I've taken some courses for this degree (still in 200 level courses). I enjoy the programming part, but not the theory part. Also I have to take 2 chem courses and 2 physics courses all with a lab. I also have to take 5 writing intensive courses.

It's very stressful and I have no social life at all. It's...
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>>17488581
>I've thought of webdev since I interned at a company that does commercials, websites, and other kinds of advertisement.


Bro, you're way off point. You need a marketing degree if that's the job you want.

Source: I work for an ad agency that does all the shit you just mentioned. I've been learning how to build websites from our graphic designer who builds all the digital products we sell.
>>
Compsci is a lot of theory. Try a more practical route maybe?
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>>17488581
Holy shit are you going to RU?

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Help me brainstorm, /adv/.

So gf and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. She absolutely loves me and wants to be in a relationship, but she's terrified of committing. She was in a relationship before where she ended up getting married to a guy she didn't even care for, all because her friends and family and he himself kept pushing her into it and making her feel bad for wanting out.

I want to come up with a solution that solves this problem. She wants to be with me, but doesn't want to feel trapped. She isn't the type to reach out for help, and...
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What do you mean 'commit'?

There's nothing you can gain from marrying her.

If the relationship isn't currently monogamous it's not a relationship and you need to look elsewhere.

What else is there?
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>>17488563
Poor choice of words. Sorry. Been a long day, and I want to get this problem solved. Maybe got a bit too eager.

She's afraid of committing to a relationship in general. She feels like, once she's in one, she can't get back out without stomping all over the other person's emotions. It's monogamous, I'm the only one she's into, she's the only one I'm into.
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>>17488567
And what is it you want that she isn't already committed to?

Should I tell my gf my darkest secret?
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is it that bad? what is it
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>>17488501
Tell us, but DON'T tell her.

1. Leave a bit of mystery
2. Depends on what it is

What is your darkest secret?
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Is it that you're a nigger?

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So here's the deal, /adv/.

I'm late 20's. I have 3/4ths of a degree that I can't finish because I have no money. I work part time at $9 an hour, usually take home 300-600 dollars every 2 weeks, and pay about 500 a month in bills.

I attempted to join the military to have a background for better paying careers, but that's not an option because I had asthma when I was a kid and I've been rejected by all 4 branches.

I can't go back to college until I save up enough money to pay off student debt. I'm /nearly/ out of...
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Details: where do you live?

IBR
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>>17488511
Florida Panhandle. Panama city area.

Already on IBR. I'm more concerned with increasing my income so I can pay it off faster, or just not live in abject poverty, that would also be nice.
>>
this society is unfortunately closing in on having no options for people like you, other than the choice between abject poverty and political revolution.

In the meantime think in terms of unexpected solutions - I've taught myself some farming/gardening skills, for example, and it lowers the hell out of food bills. If nobody will give you work, make your own.

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Simple questions that dont need their own thread.
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I am an 18-year-old girl with a part-time job at the moment. I met a coworker who shares similar music tastes as me but she is 32. I can't help but notice the age difference and feel that she will not be interested in becoming friends with me because of the age difference. I also get the sense that it may always be me initiating to chat with her on Whatsapp. Should I try to befriend her?
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>>17488538
>>17488538
Well for someone that age 'friends' aren't really a thing anymore. Just people that crosses your life temporarily.
Do try to keep a good relationship with her and the rest of your coworkers, but don't expect things to go as smoothly as they were back in school.
>>
24 year old here

how do i pound fresh 18 year old poonaner at college?

So I've been having this pain today in the morning. Light pain on lower tummy (above pubes).
Then as I'm done peeing it starts to hurt more then goes away.
Then I sat down to poop and i felt this needle pain on the same area plus on my balls, perineum and ass, it went away when I "flexed" that muscle to stop peeing/pooping.
I finally tried again and pooped and I felt better.
Pooped with slight same pain at work a couple times.
Now I tried to poop and it hurt so much that I aborted and now don't feel like pooping (like it went back up or...
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Sounds like epidermis go get ur balls checked. Antibiotics and your good, srs helps.
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I've had appendicitis, it feels like food poisoning/stomach upset x100, so unless you feel like you're going to turbo vomit your guys out, I don't think it's that.

Talk to your doctor, nothing is too embarrassing!
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>>17488500
>epidermis
I lol'd

>>17488504
I'm in 'merica, takes 3 days to see a doctor

Is there anything I can do to stop being such a nervous fucking wreck around women? Yesterday my roomie and I went out for dinner, and I got nervous and mildly sweaty as I walked past a table of girls. I have a handful of friends who are girls, but by and large in public, seeing girls in groups and interacting with them freaks me the fuck out, it feels like an assault or something and I usually just shut the hell up when confronted and leave at the soonest opportunity. Is there anything I can do or say to try and rectify this? I know it's not normal, it's subconscious and irrational and it's annoying the absolute hell out of me because it cripples me socially.
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The problem solved itself for me as I became older than them. Just talk to younger girls and be confident that you know more about life than them.
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>>17488470
Thanks, I'm only 20, so not a lot of wiggle room there, but I'm into the idea of girls a few years younger, so that gives me some hope.
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>>17488462
realize that they're dumb vacuous parasites with the mental and emotional capacity of children and your confidence around women will get much higher

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So my ex is a fucking thot and added back all the guys she deleted during our relationship cause they hit on her.

Where do I find thoughts at age 20?
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Thots*
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>>17488450
Go to your nearest community center in a degenerate part of town
>>
Your ex is a that ho over there. Fucking dumb ebonics

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Hey /adv/, I'll try to make it as short as possible. So I bought a chocolate with psilocybin shrooms in it (6g in it) for 25$ from my roomate/dealer yesterday. I ate it, waited for forever and I didn't
feel a thing. I confronted him and asked him if he could either give me money back or give me another piece of chocolate and he refused because he also lost money in the process, he also stated that the same thing happened to another of his client. 25$ is kind of a big deal for me, should i insist some more or get back at him in some way ? Has anyone here ever had...
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>>17488445
that girl is fucking disgusting.

This is something you have to deal with, unless you can prove that there was no product in it don't bother him.

Side note: If $25 is a big deal to you don't fucking spend it on drugs you degenerate.
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>>17488452
>that girl is fucking disgusting
Opinion discarded, faggot.
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>>17488452
Im with this guy. Woman looks grosse.

Also who buys shrooms. Id never ever trust they knew what they had. Ubless i had seen their grow id assume thwy had been picked.

Either pick your own or grow your own.

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Is seeking any type of professional help for depression worth it?

I have recently talked to someone about how I feel and she told me that I sound severely, clinically depressed. I've kind of always been in the camp of, "well everyone's a little sad but only pussy libtards go to doctors about it." It hasn't gotten to bad, it's just now that I'm closer to going back to school I feel it a little more.

I'm not attractive, I'm disabled, and I'm lonely, I don't see how anyone can make me feel better about those...
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Seeing how my husband and my two best female friends all went to get professional help because of depression, and all benefitted massively from it: Yes.

You need the right professional, and you will probably need to try a couple to find the right medication, but once you do, the difference will be astounding. It's worth a shot, right?

Also, an extra note: make sure you ask someone else to monitor you when you try a new medication. The brain likes to believe that the way it feels in the present moment is the way that it always feels. This happens with depression...
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I have seasonal affective disorder and have had on and off bouts of clinical depression which started when I was a teenager. I've been on a few antidepressants and have gone to therapy over the years.

I've been medication free for a few years now and therapy free for a few months.

Honestly, it's a very personal thing that is situational and depends on the person. If your day to day life is being affected by depression you need to seek help. I went to my doctor and he referred me to a therapist and wrote a prescription for me. I stopped seeing my...
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It really depends. It seems half of the professionals don't give a crap and want money but you do meet the few who do care and want to help. I would suggest you research into one you want to look into and see what others say from there.

However for some people it helps, others it doesn't.

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I just moved into a new apartment with a washer/dryer unit, but the dryer's vent is just up against the wall and shoots vapor and lint allover.

Is this enough to break the lease?
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>>17488442
Nope..

There are many more steps to take before ending the lease.

1) contact your landlord about a necessary repaid in writing.

2) if after 30 days it is not repaired then you may repair it yourself whilst deducting the costs from your rent that month (all of which you have a legal right to do so)


Otherwise move the fuck out, give notice and stop bitching.
>>
>>17488449

well thats gay as fuck, but I made sure I could leave by paying a months rent before signing so I'm only kinda fucked.

also are you dense? you can't repair not having a vent without buying a completely new unit.
>>
>>17488518
Are autistic people even allowed to sign contracts?

I'm sure your mom could get you out of it by informing them you're too stupid to know what you were doing.

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Everytime im remided im a loser virgin and that women hate me and im gonna die alone and that im a monster that cant into relationships of any sort i cut myself and get super fucking angry, i even avoid making friends with guys who have girlfriends. Everytimd i see a man and his wife i get mad


Butttt i hate women with a fucking passion and actively avoid talking to them. And the few that have shown interest over the years i told them to fuck off because i hate their desire for me. A girl once straight up asked me if she could blow me and i told her to get the fuck...
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>>17488440
Come out of the closet already..
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>>17488441
I wish I was gay, things would be so much easier
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>>17488440
Just hire a prostitute bro. Its okay. It's been here for thousands of years and isn't going anywhere

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When I was a teenager, my parents and I came to America from Poland. I never really adjusted though, and I always felt alienated.

I'm 23 now and working a shit factory job and recently I got in contact with this Indian guy I was really good friends with in high school (who had the same immigration situation) and he went back to India after he finished college and was telling me how much he liked it over there.

Though this exchange, I started thinking maybe I should go back to Poland. But if I do and I happen not to like it, I'll be screwed. What do you...
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Pls respond
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>>17488434
do what you feel is the right choice, and what makes you happy, if you don't feel happy or right in America, and you do in Poland, go, however, if there are educational opportunities you can defiantly get, get them first, they will make life in Poland 2x better.

hope this helps!

black raptor out!
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>>17488434
Do you have any family in Poland? Somebody to stay with until you get your life together? Or friends who could share a flat with you? Or maybe your parents will support you by sending you dolans?
Either way if you move back, make plenty of bucks beforehand, they'll be useful around here. I think people will think it's cool you lived in 'murrica and it's your homeland so maybe you'll feel more comfy, but really you should still have some kind of a support (members of family or friends)

Powodzenia...
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I kind of have a crush on my step sister. We're both very timid and shy around each other, but I think she's attractive and her personality is appealing. Her boyfriend is a douche, and she doesn't talk the greatest about him when he's not around. She's 18 and I turned 24 today, should I just let it be? Or try and make something of it?
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Just don't.
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>>17488374
Dont
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>>17488374
not worth it bruh

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Hello /adv/ I recently had the greatest orgasms I've probably ever had because of this handsoap, just wanted to share that with anyone that's depressed
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>>17488371
>inb4 stop being insensitive
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>>17488371
shove bottle up your vag and post pic pls
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>>17489021
Hold on, let me get a sexchange real quick

What do i say back to her?
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hey how's it going
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>>17488354
>my phone system's font is totally gay haha! I love dicks!
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>>17488354
Why haven't we fucked yet?

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I found a girl that is quite literally PRRFECT for me. we're dating now and everything is great, except that I found out she has a thing for Asriel from undertale. how do I know she isn't secretly a furry. please help
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>>17488349
You can like furry characters without being a furry
>source: I like bugs bunny but i'm not a furry
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>>17488349
>I found a girl that is quite literally PRRFECT for me.
No, you haven't. Perfection is for religious figures. Not even all of them, really. The imperfections will reveal themselves in due time. That is not a death sentence, unless you aren't ready when it hits.

>I found out she has a thing for Asriel from undertale. how do I know she isn't secretly a furry.
Because it's Asriel. If she were a furry, she'd have a thing for Doggo.
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>>17488349
There's nothing wrong with being a furry. Not saying that I am, I just know a individuals that are and they're genuinely good people
>desu I draw the line at fur suits

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Is there even a way to be happy if you are poor and lonely? Isn't suicide simply the best choice?
I've been dominated, poor and lonely my whole fucking life. Always waiting for my "lucky break".
I'm not crazy, I wont kill myself now, but I'm starting to think that I will have to live my whole life with this crushing feeling.
I just want to be with someone who really cares about me but that's something that only happens to some people, not to everyone gets to feel that kind of love.
Is there any oldfag (+33) that has never been...
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>>17488314

Heh, a topic society LOVES to avoid.
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I can feel you on some aspect. I'm 27, poor but married though I feel lonely. I've have been pondering the point of life and why bother existing when all we are going to do is wake up, get poorer and die. I don't see the point of living however, I exist so I have to make some effort to change. This is an every day occurrence for me so you aren't alone in the thought process.
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>>17488314
the only thing that is certain in life is change.

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So I'm going to take my first job and I'm unsure how to adjust my schedule around it and this is a very big issue since I squish every second of my day.

I'm already a d/ic/k who spends 8 hours painting and other 8 reading/studying and shitposting. On weekends I play D&D and read some other minor stuff.
I was thinking to move my art to the weekends, and use all my free time on weekdays to read but I have doubts on how can this work.
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>>17488313

hehehe

>that awkward moment when you realize that jobs aren't just shit because you have to do them, but also because you have zero time to do anything else besides maybe go to the gym and one other thing on non-gym days, assuming you are a machine that can stay motivated 16 hours a day
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good night bump
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>>17488940

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He holds my hand but he has a gf. What does it mean? They are about to break up and we are always this way. I feel like he likes me and he knows i liked him as well. What do I do ? We are at a party and both drink a lot when he holding my hand while we're dancing. We were kinda tipsy. Is that because of the alcohol makes him acting that way? Or am I being sensitive to everything?
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>>17488231
Theyre not breaking up
Tell him he's crossing a boundary
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>>17488242
So that's what I should do? No other way for it at all?
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I do the same thing when I'm in a shit relationship and wanna get over my partner or soon to be ex. Rebound. Unless he told you otherwise I'm not sure why you're assuming you're special.


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