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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 512. page
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Got molested as a kid (male), this has led to a slew of insecurities, emotional imbalances, damaged mental stability, the whole 9 yards. I've been going to therapy on and off for about a year when I can afford it and I won't be able to afford meds for a while if it comes to that, I just want to know if there's any chance that I'll ever fully be in balance and in a healthy place mentally/emotionally, or is this something I have to learn to live with?
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>>17485154

we are a culmination of everything thats happened. were never 'cured'. we simply grow and develop. you can grow positively, but what you consider to be a cure is better known as simply 'forgetting' in the most literal sense.
>>
>>17485178
So that a no?
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>>17485179

you can be in a healthy place. as they say 'we've all been molested'.

think of it like being gay though. do you want to be one of those faggots hwo are defined by their homosexuality, or would you rather be some layered character and this is just some small inconsequential detail to discover by those who meet you

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I'm told he loves me one day then the next I'm told there's nothing good about me. I'm suicidal and depressed and recently moved into an apt with him after a family suicide of mine. Moving out isn't an option. He physically and mentally abuses me and laughs in my face when I cry. Then blames me. I just turned 21 and he's 19.
Has anyone been in a similar situation or has some sort of advice?
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>>17485141
>Moving out isn't an option
why
>>
>>17485141
Why isn't moving out an option?
>>
I can't afford it on my own and I have no family I can move in with

I'm having a panic attack but I'm too scared to leave my apartment because there are people outside

What do I do. I'm hyperventilating. Please help me
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>>17485137
call 911, and tell them that you're having a panic attack

EMS will come and take you to a hospital where you'll get help
>>
Control your breathing. Inhale for 5 slow seconds, hold for 5, then exhale for 5. keep doing this until you stop freaking out, this shit works like a charm
>>
What do panic attacks feel like?

>Being me, living a shit world country in Latin America
>government sponsor me a scholarship to study a MSc. in CS at University of Melbourne
>the payment in my country is very shitty, there are not as many job opportunities as USA or other technological hotspot. In addition, employers at my country are asking me 5 years of experience for a 11 hours low income job.

Should I take this chance or wait one year and apply to a university at UK the next year?. Which place is a better...
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>>17485125
Sorry mate, Australia's full. Also Melbourne is cuck central anyway
>>
>>17485318
>Australia's full
I will actually pay as a foregin (a very expensive tuition fee) and I will pay taxes.

Why cuck central?
>>
I live in Melbourne. Don't buy into the memes. It's a good place and Melbourne uni is a nice place.
It's also really easy to get weed.

http://melbourne.craigslist.com.au/search/sss?query=420&sort=rel
>inb4 leftist sjw

14/88. I browse pol erry day.


Don't fall for the memes anon. Australia is a great place to be.

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My son has been dead for exactly one year

Today would have been his 5th birthday

My parents are long gone, my siblings hate me, and my ex-wife is a misanthropic drunk nowadays

Why shouldn't I kill myself?
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>>17485123

because you are literally looking for a reason to live by making that post. you clearly want to.

because you are well aware that you can carve out a happier life by leaving those things behind.

but you're just gonna insist you cant, so go ahead for all i care.
>>
why did you murder your son?
>>
>>17485136

because he was going to tell his mother what i did to him.

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Long time no see, /adv/. My current situation:

>Have been a Sommelier in fine dinning for the last six years.
>the past three years I was the Wine Director for a famous Michelin Star California Bay Area restaurant. My wine list had received awards from Wine Spectator magazine and I was written about in other wine industry magazines.
>My fiance has been wanting me to transition to a job more in line with her schedule (9 to 5 M thru F) for years.
>begin...
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>>17485073

This is the person you're planing to commit to and spend the rest of your life with.

If you can't talk to her about the exact shit you just told you, you should really reassess your relationship.

Even if it bums her out, she SHOULD understand and be willing to sympathize with you and your dreams.

Talk to your fiance, tell her how you're feeling, discuss what you should do with her.

Then try decide what you want to do, a compromise of both your wants if you can.

Finally,...
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>>17485139
That is great advice. Thank you, anon.
>>
Man I wish I could drink alcohol all day and write up lists of my favorite beverages and be a """"'sommelier""""

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Tried sliding into the DM's and got hit with this. She's pretty cute and I heard shes into the same stuff as I am. Any advice on how to proceed with this?

(We're both in high school if that helps anything)
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>>17485067
You could respect her wishes and move to the next one
>>
>>17485067
She politely told you to fuck off. Why don't you just move on? Or just an hero.
>>
>>17485067


'Hey'

That's some weak game bro.

Plus "She doesn't know you"....try to talk to her in person, fix that part first then hit her up with 'Hey'.

She's not playing hard to get.

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How difficult would it be to support yourself while working two minimum wage jobs and having very few life skills like cooking, driving, etc?
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>>17485060

the number of jobs dont matter, the hours do, but you also arent giving us any indication of your expenses if oyu know them.

i pay 420 for my rent. others pay a lot more. i have no car expense, i imagine you do but is it just gas / insurance?

help us help you

>very few like skills like cooking, driving, etc.

are you saiyng you have those skills but not others or very few driving skills and very few cooking skills?
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>>17485069
about a 60 hour work week in total. I don't know what my expenses would be, and I was just listing examples of what I meant by life skills.

I just wanted to know if this kind of living style was possible with my wage and if I could learn how to cook, drive, etc as I go along.
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>>17485090

if you dont have a license, get one before you move out. you'll also need a car or some other transport if you dont have one. you can learn how to cook, its not hard, the internet is a free cookbook. but if you need to drive to get to work from where you'll be living, then yeah you need to know how to drive.

but without knowing oyur expenses, we dont know. in new york? maybe in the shittiest of areas. in the middle of america, probably get a decent apartment or shitty house with it.

it...
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Help

>25 years old
>Been a loser my entire life
>Start studying physics and math on the side
>Actually like it
>Want to pursue a degree in Physics at the university
>Google possible careers with the degree
>Seems pretty cool
>Talk to all my friends and family about it
>"You will never...
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>>17485055
Do engineering. Mech.or civil have plenty of physics in them.
>>
Something like Mechanical Engineering is literally just maths and physics. Look into it.
>>
Lots of engineers at my company so I can't really agree to that statement. Its not remotely similar to my field so I can't comment further.

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>horrible addiction to masterbating
>cant stop no matter what
>did almost everything to try to stop
>what should i do or try to stop
>plz help
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>>17485041

>did almost everything to try to stop

describe to us 'almost everything' so we dont repeat advice. what did you do to quit?
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>>17485049
Tried slowing down, tried throwing away porn collection , quiting cold Turkey , longest ive gone is maybe a month if that
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>>17485041
I go like three days max if you've gone a month your doing pretty well.

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How the fuck do I do tinder?
Is it truly a hookup app or is basically like talking to your grandma until she fucks off?
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>>17485030

tinder is what you make of it... divided by what the girl makes of it... plus what she makes of you... multiplied by the number of hot guys in the area.

what i mean to say is, its different for everyone. someone wishing to get married could find a husband there. someone wishign to get laid can find someone there.

but everyones there to at least meet in a less platonic sense so you have that baseline.

if you arent attractive you wont have much luck, unless of course you're aiming low,...
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>>17485035
I'm kind of a sexy lad though
Conversation dies though
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>>17485035
i get told i am attractive by women but i very rarely get a match on tinder. i dont get it. girl that i am dating now, i met her online, and she seen the pics i use on tinder and thought i was good looking. typically random people that see my pics online tell me i am good looking/cute so i dont understand why the girl on tinder dont like me lol.

Take a good look at this picture. This is my 10/10. My ideal as they'd say. What are the odds of getting a girlfriend as attractive as her? Is this kind of beauty too uncommon?! Or am I too picky?

My personality is ENFJ, athletic, love fashion/cooking, researching movies/music/literature, I'm 6'0" with blue eyes etc.
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>>17485019

>what are the odds of getting a girlfriend as attractive as her?
>dont worry about hwat i look like, heres some stats that describe millions of people tho
>>
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>>17485019
real 10/10 here

get that busted gook outta here
>>
>>17485019
Come to Japan, you see girls like that everywhere. If you're white and in shape then you can get pussy rather quick. If your skin is anything else then it's hard mode.

Hey guys, I'm looking for any website or webpage that may have multiple exercise hand-outs for almost every category pertaining grammar.

So for example, adverbial phrases, noun phrases, clauses,...etc

If it is printable even better.
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>>17484999
Eres un hispanohablante? Necesito a buscar amigos hispanohablantes para mejorando mi espanol.
>>
Yo se espaƱol
>>
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=english+grammar+handouts

Try this link

First of all, this is not a "my life sucks" post. I'd like it to be a serious discussion about this topic.

Currently, I'm a very successful college senior. All my life, up until college, I was just a loser that didn't do anything and that nobody liked, mostly for unfair reasons. As such, my social skills never really developed as did other people's. However, when I got to college I wanted to change--and I did. As I said, I'm now very successful and even represent my University publicly.

However, despite all of my success, I have...
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Why do you think you have trouble connecting with people? Is it because you didn't get to practice social skills, or because you think others aren't as smart as you?
>>
Well, I do believe most people are not as smart as me, but thats just a rule of thumb, really. I try to treat people as equals, and I don't "talk down" to them or anything like that.

I'm not even convinced its my lack of social skills. I actually do fairly well in most social situations, as one of my strengths is learning quickly, and these past three years I have forced myself into social situations.

I feel that it is something intangible that I simply don't have, and that I can't explain. Something that just pulls people toward you,...
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>>17484989
In my experience the #1 thing that draws people to me is when I show an interest in them.
People fucking love talking about themselves. Ask them about themselves, and listen to their answers.
Are you actually interested in other people?

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So I want to buy a sex toy of some sort. Im male. Prostate stuff or just normal stuff, open to suggestions.

Also im going to be moving soon.if i cant bring it on a plane discreetly andi it isnt cheap enough to throw away in a month its a no go. Any ideas?
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>>17484964
Metal buttplugs are nice

If you're a mental anal slut like me then you'll have to use your imagination for prostate massagers like aneros to work well (aka prostate orgasm while drooling)

Helix is good for beginners/gentle

Progasm for advanced, shit is pretty big
>>
>>17484964
why wouldn't you be able to bring a prostate massager on a plane, just throw it in your luggage. You weren't planning on bringing it with you on your carry on bag or something were you?

when you get a prostate toy be sure to get something that vibrates
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>>17484994
>when you get a prostate toy be sure to get something that vibrates

Hell no, vibrations are distracting and just get annoying

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why would a guy tear up when youre with him if the girl was singing to a car song? is it because he realized he doesnt want to use the girl?
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>>17484956
just watery eyes
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>>17484960
bump
pls help
>>
>>17484956
What girl? What's their connection to each other? Are you this girl? Was it a sad song? Why would using this girl have anything to do with the situation?

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My dad refuses to stop mowing the lawn every two weeks in the summer. He's 80 and it could literally kill him. He collapsed from heat exhaustion last time.

He refuses to accept a better mower. When I offered to get him one, he got pissed and yelled at me for being "lazy."

I don't want him to kill himself. He's unreasonable as always, but I love him.
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>>17484945
My great-great grandfather was around the same age and he died of a heart attack shoveling the snow in his yard.

He needs to stop. Maybe he needs in-house assistance
>>
Jesus fuck lad, he is 80, he is supposed to die at that age and you want to take away one of the few things he enjoys in life? Fuck you, worst son ever.
>>
>>17484945
why don't you offer to mow half and he the other half

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>haven't been able to flirt with girls since 4yr gf and I split a year ago
>year long dry spell

How do I un-fuck myself, friends? Every day it's "you're going to die alone" feels. I had plenty of romantic and sexual partners before I met her, what happened?

>could years of /fit/ be to blame?
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Same really, except I never had luck before her either

bump
>>
>>17484919
are u bored of the girls ur around?
or are u just general anxiety?
>>
>>17485016
I think it might be anxiety, senpai. I'm constantly concerned with my appearance, wondering if someone I'm talking to is interested, what I'm doing wrong if they aren't, etc.

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Life is just a ride, we get on upon birth and get off upon death

Relationships are too. Don't let yourself be too sad when they end. Remember as a kid the first time you rode a carousel or a Ferris wheel? You stood there so excited, then you got on, and you enjoyed it. But then you got off. Everyone has to get off, and once you get off you wish you could get back on

We know we're going to get off this ride of life at some point, why the fuck are we disappointing our future selves when we have barely any time left on this carousel, by wasting our chance...
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>>17484890
Good thread OP

I'm definitely not OP bumping my own thread because I'm hopelessly lonely and need to know I'm not the only conscious entity in this universe
>>
>>17484890
>>17485176
Nice blog posts faggot
>>
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What if I've never been on a carousel, Ferris wheel or a relationship?

Way to depress me even further, OP.

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Last night was my high schools first football game. (we lost 0-21 at home) I noticed that all my friends were asking girls to homecoming.(Sept.16) I've decided to ask my crush of 5 years and only female friend, Lefta Handith. We have known each other since we where born, as we have the same birth day and where born in the same hospital. I feel an attachment to her as if she is always with me. I think I'll go though with it soon, probably next week. I don't think i have any competition.. My best friend has already asked her cousin, Righta Handith, so I don't...
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>>17484879
>mfw it's the kinda autism that makes you giggle
>>
>>17484879
Kek homecoming sucks, I hated it when I went to the us
>>
Just ask her out, someday you might regret the decision of not asking her out.

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I'm a 23 yr old male, and I've had sex with 50 girls so far...
Is this too many? Am I "damaged goods?"
One of them was a girlfriend I've had for 3 years, two were flings I actually cared about, and the rest were tinder/one night stands
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>>17484858
depends on how you look at it, truth is usually decided yourself.
>>
>>17484858
not a real man till you hit 100. Tinder makes it easy though
>>
Everyone feels like their damaged in one way or another anon. Don't look at the negatives or else you'll just get stuck in a rut.

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I want to start out by saying that I'm a reasonably well-adjusted individual in his mid 20s. I'm pretty social and have a large group of close-knit friends. I have a steady job, am putting myself through school, and have a pretty bright, optimistic future ahead of me.

I say all this so that I can hopefully avoid sounding like an edgelord when I explain how literally the only thing that seems to excite me is violence. I don't mean that I jerk off to violent imagery or anything like that, but I mean the actual act of causing violence to someone is the only...
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sex is overrated by our society, the companionship is the best part
>>
>>17484850
join a boxing gym, mma, or other fighting sport.
Passion is hard to define in different things, different reactions to diffrerent things. its okay if thats just you, but sometimes we trick ourselves into believing something that wasnt true from the begging. ex: i thought i was bad at math, i thought that from middle school to end of 2nd semester of college. I wasnt bad at it, i just never tried at it because i thought i was bad at it
>>
>>17484860
I've had enough one night stands to come to this conclusion myself. But, if I'm going to enter a relationship with someone, I'm going to want them well-fucked. I dated a girl recently. Things were going very well, and I had an awesome time lying in bed with her and cuddling. But, she wanted to fuck. Like, really fuck. And I just /didn't care/. That's not normal. (I still got her off because I'm a gentleman but you get the idea)

>>17484874
That...
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I was away from my girlfriend for 4 months (the longest we've been away from each other) and we had a misunderstanding that made me think our relationship was over. It's too convoluted now, but I grieved our relationship for a night and stayed up for 30 hours because of how stressed I was, then she told me it was just a misunderstanding.

I saw her yesterday for the first time in 4 months and it felt a little awkward. I didn't feel the spark or chemistry like I had felt it before.
I think that even though I know our relationship isn't over, the...
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>>17484825
Btw I'd like to mention that we were away because she had work across the country for a month and the whole thing where I thought our relationship was over was about a week ago.

To explain more she said she wanted an open relationship so I thought she didn't love me and wanted other dick. She told me she just thought it was a way to make our sorta long distance (~3 hour car ride) relationship easier. She said if I didn't want it (I don't) she wouldn't do it. She said it doesn't...
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>>17484825
>she wanted an open relationship
come on OP her damage control after you flipped out is shit. I don't believe it. How in hell does fucking other people help your relationship?
>>
>>17484825
its over OP. accept it and move on

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Do you need a reason to love someone?

Are some people undeserving of love?
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>>17484771
No

Yes
>>
>>17484771
No
No
>>
>>17484785
>>17484805
Really doesn't say a lot.

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Going to ask my crush out in just over an hour. What do I need to remember to do/say to not be a sperglord? What should I do to prepare? How do I stop my stomach from using my intestines as a jumprope?
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Tell yourself you'll find someone better cause you will. Plenty of fish in the sea isn't a metaphor for people who are scared to take their first step into going after the girl. It's for people who know that they need to move and and aren't gullible into thinking there is only one in the world for them.

Tell yourself you are better than the people sitting at home every day playing video games and going to their job for 8 hours a day at $13 an hour except weekends.

Man up bud. You will never get anywhere if you don't do it.

Also,...
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>>17484767
ask her out in person.
don't be a newfriend.
>>
She was really stressed out about some stuff so I didn't ask. I messaged a her bestfriend that I'm also friends with to tell me what my chances are. 3 hours later still waiting for a text back

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Is it okay for me to drop out of university for mental health reasons?

I have recently been told I have Asperger's syndrome, and I also deal with a lot of depression and anxiety.
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>>17484765
what year?
>>
if you can finish it do it,, drop out if your forced to aka fail
>>
>>17484765
ok lots more details needed.
"I have recently been told" by a professional mental health worker or by your idiot friend who's taking 1st-year psych?

Are you getting treated for your depression & anxiety?

Why do you want to drop out?

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I feel betrayed and I know I shouldnt.

She used a dildo 3 times across the space of a week, the dildo is about an inch bigger than me and had s clit rubber and was curved at the top.

How do I get over this and what should I do?
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Feels like I've been cucked tbqhwy
>>
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>>17484763

0/10
>>
>>17484763
at least it's not a real dick attached to some other guy. also know when a woman gives you a number multiply by 3

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im looking for advice on being bi curious. I havent had sex with any guys but i am considering it. my problem is that i find women so much more attractive than guy but i know it would be so easy if i got into gay sex. I love fucking women but my relationships with them never last long and getting straight casual sex is a piss take if you're socially inept like me.

I can literally just ask a guy who is like an 8 if he wants sex, and he will be up for it. i know from personal experience. the standards with women are retarded. the only reason most women even look good...
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>>17484762

Your view of women is childish.

If you're attracted to men, explore it.
If you're thinking having sex with men is some kind of solution to the fact that you're a fucking sperg who has a 12 year old /r9k/ users knowledge about women I can promise you its not easier.

A gay man will be able to see your idiocy just as much if not more efficiently than a woman will.

Before you start making decisions about your orientation just do a little bit of growing up and swallowing less...
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>>17484770
so you're saying that most women dont have high standards and dont expect guys to keep them excited? do you have any experience with women. never read the red pill nor went on r9k, my opinion are based on real life experiences and statistics. average looking men barely get matches on tinder for example, and most women find the average guy unattractive.
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Bi person here. I don't understand why any BI person would want to end up having a serious relationship with the same sex. Experiment around with them maybe but long term?

If I get in a same sex relationship that means I never have a son or a daughter with my genes in them. It kills the family tree that i'm responsible for creating. By dating a guy I would be ensuring my son never gets born. Which ensures my son's son never gets born and so on and so on. It kills generations of your future family. I can't have that on my conscience.

And raising...
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What's a good brand of toothpaste for preventing bad breath?
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literally anything

probably just buy the cheapest one

any "prevents yadda yadda 9/10 dentists blah blah" is just marketing
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>>17484734
*furthermore, if you're already brushing regularly, bad breath is more likely caused by diet, gum health, or some other issue
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>>17484740
I don't actually brush regularly, I never have dental issues but I'm a little paranoid about my breath, and my teeth have been yellowing more than natural so might as well start.

So just go for the cheapest most simple brand?

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How do I ask for help, /adv/
I've been doing my best lately. I enrolled in a tech school for engineering, I found a girl to talk to who I'm falling in love with, and I've even got a workout routine planned, starting tomorrow morning. Everything is going so well. But I feel terrible. Almost worse than I did before. Just about the same level of terrible actually. My anxiety is through the roof, every minute I'm worried if the girl I'm talking to really likes me or if I'm driving her off. I haven't done any math in a while, so I failed my first...
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It sounds like you're just scared of disappointment. Just remember that failure can happen one million times, but whenever you succeed it'll outweigh it all.

Your therapist won't send you to a hospital you're getting your life together and it's supposed to be stressful.
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>>17484736
I definitely am scared of disappointment. But I've failed too often, I'm a highschool dropout and I've already dropped out of college once. I feel like now I'm going right back into failure. And I know I'm supposed to fail and learn from it, but college is expensive. It was hard to save up enough for tuition working at fast food. I don't want to have to do this a third time
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>>17484754
I would say that it is all about mentality. Basically telling yourself that you need to become better for yourself. I've heard that others say you should start working out and reaching small goals but I prefer to watch anime which pushes me forward.

Also, it's nice to have someone like you back. Fall in love anon it's the best thing out there to experience. Take risks and do what you want to do. Tell yourself to become better and have the mentality of becoming great for yourself. Don't...
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