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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 541. page
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How can I convince my gf to:
>always wear a wig
>always wear confact lenses
>let me call her by a diffrent name (optional)
>play a character most of thr time (optional)
Basically be another person.
Any tips?
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>>17471880
Help me m8s
>>
have you tried hypnotism?
>>
By getting a new girlfriend who looks, acts, and had the personality you want

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>Be white 21 year old male
>Picked up Spanish quickly
>Feel alienated in the US
>I want to change my life
>Lift, cook, work repeat
>See college class in Japanese
>I already have a media/film degree but I might go for it.
>I'm tempted to just learn all I can...

I'm tempted... Should I learn Japanese and...
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>>
what's stopping you?
>>
>>17471869
You can only use Japanese in Japan. You're better off learning Chinese unless you're a weeaboo and are looking for a waifu
>>
>>17471881
I asked my one friend. She was going off about how hard it would be... I mean I'm a hard worker in general. Got the highest score in my English tests etc. I don't know. I just want to break free. I read a lot and as of late the novels of Mishima have really sparked an interest in Japan. Not even into anime or an otaku/weeb.

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is 25 too late to become an engineer? I've got a degree in finance and I've realized I would much rather make stuff. Hell, I wanted economics in the first place.
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Well gee, I hope not. I just turned 26 and started a comp engineering major this week
>>
>>17471867
No, it's not. Life is a journey, not a race, do what makes you happiest and most fullfiled.
>>
>>17471867
my grandfather went to a university at 26, after he finished his military draft. he graduated with an engineering degree at 30. Do you REALLY think 25 is too late?

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Hey /adv/. 18 here, been in a relationship for a little under a year.

I love this girl so damn much. My heart is devoted to her. I wouldn't ever try to hurt her. Here's where I fucked up;
Girlfriend and I had been away for a few weeks, due to her not being able to come over because she was busy. I RP Marvel Comics for fun, and started chatting up one of the girls on kik. Just as friends.

We did some dirty RP, which I don't count as cheating, because it was just the characters. Then, we dirty talked a little. Then, she showed me her boobs and...
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>>17471828
(cont)
I was overcome with guilt. To get around telling my girlfriend what happened, when we were on FaceTime the next night I told her my cousin was having some troubles, and pretty much told my story but used my cousin in it. Girlfriend said that if that happened to her, if I did that, she'd just let it go and forgive me.

My problem is, I don't know how to forgive myself. So the other night, while she was sleeping, I wrote out a long love letter text to her about how much I loved her, and how...
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I'd have dumped you instantly had I knew what you did. Learn from your mistakes and be grateful that she decided not to break up with you. You aren't being hard enough on yourself I'd say. Flirting has its limits and you definitely broke them. You then proceed to message her telling her about when she annoyed you? Big fuck up. I don't want to sound harsh but you did wrong and should feel bad.
>>
>>17471828
>>17471835

Probably just the start of some underlying issue mate.

Speaking for myself- When I was with my ex girlfriend I had a girl get naked and fuck herself on webcam for me. First time I was struck with guilt but eventually got over it when I found out there would be no real repercussions. After that It happens several more times and by the end I didn't even feel guilty anymore, i was making up excuses to rationalise it all.

Thinking back...
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I'm staring orientation for law school tomorrow. I've talked to a few people, but I feel like their just trying to scare me into working myself rotten. Just what can I expect during my first semester?
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Psychology major also planning on going to law school.

Would love to hear what you guys have to say.
>>
>>17471878
>Psychology major
>>
Here you go.

>https://www.reddit.com/r/LawSchool/wiki/faq
This will answer all your questions, and make you start to question all of your decisions up to this point.

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I need some advice.
I think my microwave is haunted.
It doesn't cook any of my food at whatever time i set it.
although when i set it to 6:66 it fully cooks anything i put in it.
>Hot Pockets
>Lean Pockets
>totinos pizza rolls
>Tyson anytizer's Chicken chunks with general tso sauce.
what should i do?
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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it's broken. buy a new one
>>
>>17471811
ok
>>
One time i was buying food at the supermarket. The total came out to 666

Today I saw Donnie Darko with my girlfriend. By the time she left I started feeling pretty depressed about our relationship and went to Google to find advice. Anyway I click on some shitty Yahoo Answers clone. It was a few years old but the OP was in a shitty mood over his relationship (for a similar reason). The first response had some advice and ended suggesting that the OP listen to a song. What freaks me out is that the link was to a Donnie Darko OST of the song "The Killing Moon".

I know this is weird but should I make anything out of it?
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Its coincedences like these that make me believe in a God
>>
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>>17471778
You gon die like Donnie nigga
>>
>>17471800
That's silly.

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Hello /adv/

I just have a few quick questions:

1. My nose is really wide and big, is there anything I can do to make it looks less wide. Pic related.
2. I've started working out but I have bad eating habits. Like I've eaten half an entire medium pizza for lunch. I need a simple lacto-vegetarian meal plan that I can stick to but can't find anything. Something around 1400-1600 cals would be nice.
3.I feel quite nervous being in new places or while doing new things or being in situations wear I don't blend in, i.e. my first time at the gym...
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>>17471714
Regarding the first question, I'm currently to broke to afford a nose job. Should I use male makeup? I can't grow a beard if my life depended on it. I need my nose to look smaller.
>>
>>17471714
Bump
>>
stop jacking off

Keep the beard or naw? I'm a little skinner in the picture on the right.
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>>17471712

you look like a 13 year old serial killer either way.
>>
You sorta look like the faggot from Twilight on the right... BUT some girls dig that shit so it depends.

I personally like bearded men so I'm biased.
>>
>>17471723

So instead of any helpful comments you just call me younger and a serial killer? This isn't /b/ man.

>>17471730

This is a more helpful, yet ultimately I don't think I'm any closer to an answer.

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Okay so sometimes I hear sounds or voices that aren't there. The voice doesn't usually say more than one word and the sounds can vary. Twice I've heard a cat meowing, I know it wasn't my cats because it sounded very different. When I hear these things it's like I can feel it in my ears, like a strong vibrating or buzzing feeling that's kind of intense. They only happen when I have my eyes closed and I feel as if I'm somehow expecting it so I focus on it real hard. I may or may not be tired/sleepy when these happen. Anyone know what this is called?
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Schitophrenia. (How ever you spell that shit.)
>>
>>17471671
That's schizophrenia dude. Get some help
>>
>>17471671
Until recently voices were regarded as a symptom of a mental illness and not talked about because of fear of stigma. Hearing voices are still considered by psychiatry as an auditory hallucination and as a symptom of conditions such as schizophrenic disorders, manic depression and psychosis.

Traumatic life experiences (e.g. sexual abuse , neglect, loss of a parent) are considered to be among the most significant triggers of auditory hallucinations, particularly among children. As many as 70% of participants...
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Would this make a good profile picture??
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>>17471616
no.

just look slightly off camera. smile.
>>
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>me thinking about life
>mfw
>>
>>17471616
No there is someone's random arm and flat ass off to the side. Look at the camera at least a little and put on a leather jacket or something. That is just what I would do, but do whatever you want man.

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Hey y'all, I need some /adv/

>Be me
>16 y/o
>Lives with parents
>Keep personal cocaine stash inside carpet cleaner decoy
>Come home from school
>Mom "cleaned" carpet floor with $650 worth of coke spread all over the room
>Mom acting manic/dilated eyes
>Carpet surprisingly sanitized and refreshed

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>>17471565
No, it will kill the cats.

Only option is to burn the carpet so the police don't catch you
>>
2 MORE WEEKS
>>
>>17471565
Jesus, I hope your family and cat are ok

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How do I stop being a germaphobe? Pic unrelated.
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accept the germs that are necessary to intake, avoid those that are.

Be efficient. I could worry about the "poison I ingest" when I swallow mouthwash but smoke and eat McDonald's. That's not efficient.
>>
>>17471521
By cell count, the vast majority of your body is "germs," you need them to live.
>>
>>17471727
Well I know that, but I still have a hard time accepting being around all the filth and such in the world.

Like for example, the average person could go out into the world, touching all manor of objects, doorknobs, furniture and so on, then come home to do whatever it is they want - possibly having washed their hands when they arrive home.

I however, for whatever reason, would feel the need to scrub myself down vigourosly after the fact. Hell I even have some trouble with all this germaphobia stuff...
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I'm no longer in college and it's hard to meet them. I hate bars because I'm not much of a drinker. I don't mind cold approaching but it's generally harder to do and less successful. What do
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>>17471462
well, do you work?

what the hell do you do all day?

there's a new thing called online dating too.
>>
>>17471462
Tinder, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony.
Or go the the library and look for qts.

Also how ugly are you, go to /soc/ and if your average rating is below 6, then lose your standards for women, your gonna marry a fatty.
>>
>>17471462
I haven't figured this one out either. I'm pretty good with people so meeting girls at parties or through friends of friends is no big, but since all of my friends these days are introvert hipster losers who don't do anything except hang out and complain, I don't have much luck there.

Tinder is popular, I know. Might just be the way to go these days, with the culture surrounding socializing with strangers being as weird as it is in 2016.

You might also live in an area where people...
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Ill be seeing a friend from high school a bit more towards the end of the year. I dont really know how to explain my thoughts, but I want her to punch me in the stomach. How do you go about introducing this sort of thing? She's not a boxer or anything like that.
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That's deep. Ask to cuddle instead. She probably wants friends, not to be your source of high school era sadism.
>>
>>17471452
To clarify, Im in college now, been a few years out of high school. How is it deep?
>>
>>17471483
I figured.

>hows it deep?
Psychologically. To be fair, you could be asking for a lot worse. I just wouldn't recommend asking to be hit.

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I broke up with my girlfriend. I can't take this special job opportunity, because my knee is injured, and I found myself in $1,000 debt with a surprise banking fee that took $200 (my grocery, transit pass, and haircut money) away. I don't have any friends, and none of my parental figures are answering the phone to even let me vent, because they're personally swamped and want me to be independent without any issues.

Are things going to get any better? How do you figure? I could get therapy every day by crying wolf about suicidal thoughts, but I can't...
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>>17471428
This too shall pass... Be kind to yourself and others.
>>
Its only 1000 dollars, get a job fast and youll pay it back in no time

>no friends

Literally who gives a fuck, focus on getting money
>>
>>17471473
because I could make a million and without friends it wouldn't mean much

>youll pay it back
Thanks. If they give me time, I will. Can it go to court and they reach into your bank account to take your money? I need $400 a month for rent.

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How can a grill jump from 5,5/10 to 7/10?
I have lost all my hope by now.
Please tell me what (of the things she can affect) can a grill do.
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>>17471404
>Lose Weight
>Do Squats
>generally, be fit and take care of your body
>make up

That can get you pretty high up, but be warned: You can never go higher than 8/10 without good genes.
>>
Get in shape. Go to /fit/, follow starting strength. If you're a fatty you'll slim down and if you're slim you'll get a nice butt and thighs.
>but I dont want to be muscular.
You wont be, girls dont have the physique for it. And even if you are the 1 in a million girl, you just stop lifing and you'll lose it all.
Hair. Hair is the crowning glory of a woman so make sure it looks nice. It might take a couple of hair styles before you find one you really like.
Makeup. Please do not overdo your makeup, but a...
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>>17471404
How do you know you are 5.5? It might just be your confidence.

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So I met this girl in town, we flirted a bit, she left after a while cuz she had to go home. I added her the next day on facebook and here's the conversation:

Me: Oh look it's the cute autistic girl I met last night ;)

Her: Haha I think you'll find you were the autistic one

Me: It's because you're so cute you make me autistic

Her: Haha change of tune from last night, 'i don't care about you or your friend's

Me: It was drunk talk, hope you didn't take it to heart :P

Her: Don't worry,...
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Her: that is impressive to be fair

Me: I thought she was brave.
I think shes a little bit cooler than you now actually

Her: Might aswell start chatting her up then

Me: Nah, I wouldn't want to ruin my chances with you

Her: Ah, you think you have a chance :P

Me: I'd say I have about 88/100 percent chance. What do you think? Haha

Her: I'll let you know

Me: Oh no it's like waiting for my GCSE results all over again!

Her: ah, you didnt make a levels? :/ /s

Me: Yeah, I rinsed them actually :D and...
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Her: I'll bear that in mind haha thanks

Me: What're you doing this weekend?

Her: think I'm going out this Saturday with some friends
What about you?
Working in the women's section of new look? (angel emoticon)

Me: Cool, I might be going to town too with some mates. We can all meet in town

Her: oh can we indeed, nice of you to announce that instead of asking :P

Me: bit rude wasn't it
I'll rephrase it: Can you please meet my mates in town this Saturday?

Her: Ooh, that's a big step, meeting your...
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wait until saturday you cuck, or youll be labeled desperate

Anons, how badly can the lack of sunlight impact me? I haven't been outside for more than 10 minutes at a time pretty much since Summer started since it's constantly 100+ degrees in my part of California and I don't really have anything to do.
7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17471344
Stop being a shut-in faggot. Sunlight has vitamin d you pleb, plus if you don't go outdoors you have issues.
>>
>>17471344
Nah. Continue living indoors forever so there's less competition for the rest of us.
>>
>>17471344
Just put on some sunscreen if you will be in an are a with no shade for an extended period of time.

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>be me
>have mental illness (Bipolar, Borderline, PTSD, extreme Social Anxiety)
>go to a "psych eval"
>try and talk about things like psychosis and dissociation
>Accused of "intellectualism" and told to just talk about what I'm feeling
So is the doctor right or is she being a condescending cunt for me talking about my psych problems with correct terminology
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>>17471312
I wouldn't take it personally. Even if she is wrong to assume that you're doing so, a lot of people use medical terminology incorrectly because they learned it on google or some shit, and it helps to keep things unambiguous.

Or maybe she's just being a cunt. But then again, feeling like things are personal insults is part of BPD isn't it?
>>
>>17471335
I mean I've been dealing with this shit basically my entire life, I've looked up a thing or two about it, why shouldn't I use the right vocabulary that comes to be naturally at this point.
>>
>>17471335
Not OP, but what you said really makes me think I may have BPD. My younger sister was diagnosed with it a few years ago and it runs in our family. I already have fucking Tourettes though that would be fucked if I had more shit wrong with my brain. I do take things a bit personally at times though and I feel as though sometimes I go through what may be described as manic and depressive phases. I don't like blaming my actions on something I can't control though. I like owning up to my actions and taking responsibility.

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I hate fucking community college, I hate it. I'm surrounded by fucking degenerates who don't give a shit about their studies and are still BFF's with their high school clique. They don't give a shit to talk to you or be your friend outside of class. I'm missing out on the college experience and I'm afraid I'll be old/considered weird as fuck by the time I transfer.

It's fucking crippling loneliness. Does it get better bros?
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>>17471307
>I'm missing out on the college experience
Are you referring to what movies and TV tell you college will be like?
>>
>>17471307
>fuck i hate all these people being friends with each other and not me
>why am i so ronery
lololol. Learn to love people OP and they will love you back. Also fucking concentrate on your studies and not the social life.
>>
>>17471318
I'm referring to actually having social interaction with others and the occasional party.

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I think the other thread got deleted? Perhaps the frog butt was 2 lewd (Nevermind, degree stuff is against the rules there, but /adv/ seems more relationship advice? I'll give it a shot here). I didn't get to see all the answers /sci/ gave.

So I'm currently in uni and majoring in mathematics after having to sit out of uni two years. I'd like to get into CS related fields for work, but would like the flexibility of a mathematics degree.

I spoke with advising and discovered that while my major only requires 40 credit hours of mathematics coursework,...
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>>17471292
>Banned for asking about school on /sci/
>Slid for asking about school on /adv/

Dammit mods.
>>
Can you post the lewd frog butt when your question is answered OP?
>>
>>17471497
Sure,but it still has to be answered first!

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How do I find a QT female roommate in the UK?

Yes I am that twat from /b/ who's threads kept getting pruned

But really, help me out /adv/
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>>
I'd you want a fwb, then look for one. It's the same anywhere else. If you aren't good with women, then you are going to have a hard time. Also, you should focus on yourself. As you keep becoming a better person, you will find someone along the way. I think you're wasting your time tbqhf.
>>
>>17471237
Why do you want one?
>>
>>17471237
Just move to a place that has a qt in it. Go on spareroom or whatever. It's not hard.

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Is it wrong to think that a girl inviting me over to her place to drink beer and smoke weed is an invitation for casual sex? The context is meeting from an online dating site.
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>>17471226
no anon, this girl from an online dating site totall just wants you to come over smoke her weed and drink beer to have a laugh.
no u fucking idiot, she wants some d
>>
>>17471226
Of course she wants to fuck you idiot.
>>
>>17471226
nah go for it stoner girls/alcoholic girls are the sluttiest type you will ever met.

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What are these itchy bumps on the back of my hands?
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>>
>>17471214
Probably nothing. See a pharmacist if its really annoying. Don't take medical advice from /adv/.
>>
Based on my personal experience, it could be Eczema.

Drink more water, moisturize, use gentler soaps and detergents, go outside in the sun more, take cooler showers/baths, apply some deep moisturizing cortisone cream. There is no magical cure, you just have to reduce the risk of inflammations and the like.

How does it feel when you scratch? One of the key characteristics of Eczema rashes is that they are intensely itchy, moreso than a bite. It can also feel very good to scratch, almost to the point of a feeling of pleasure and relief that flushes through your...
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Were you exposed heat or had to wear gloves for an extended period of time. They kinda look like heat bumps i dont know if it translates the same in english but it looks very familiar to what i once had

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Short story: I arranged a meeting with a girl from tinder, and now I need a good excuse not to show up.

Long story: I have a rooted android phone, therefore I installed a fake gps and started tindering on other countries. Why? Well, firstly because my english is not perfect (I'm from south america) and I wanted to chat with people to practice it, and since no one around where I live does even know how to say hello en english, I decided tinder was a good idea since omegle doesn't work if you're not a horny camwhore and just wanna talk. I also wanted to know...
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If you genuinely care about her be honest with her. Tell her what you have said here.

If not though it's not the end of the world, it's tinder for fuck sake. Most people don't think they are actually going to meet the love of their lives on there. You can quite easily ignore her as you will likely never see her.
>>
>>17471205
The truth will be your salvation here.
>>
Don't be a pussy. Tell her the truth or blow her off altogether. You'll never see her again either way.

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Hi /adv/, , I have had a really shit hairline for as long as I can remember, and Im scared it will get worse. give it to me straight, Is my hair receding? What can I do at this point?
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>>17471194
You're not balding, you just have a widows peak. It's fine.
>>
>>17471194
Even if it does get worse, you can always just shave your head. Bald is an easy hairstyle.
>>
just get an undercut my dude*

*if you aren't fat

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Anyone else here quitting the booze?

>Last time I stopped drinking, I stayed awake for two nights straight, watching hallucinations on the back of my eyelids, and sort of tripping.
>I started again, because I started a new job that was intensely stressful, and I have severe anxiety and PTSD that I try to keep at least partially hidden to fit in to society.
>I feel remorse that I have already damaged my brain by going through withdrawal once. I'm fucked up enough without further...
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Hey man, Papa /adv/ is always around to lend an ear.
A lot of people will tell you what's right and wrong so I'll just say, that sounds fucking tough. The best of luck with it. How are you coping at work?
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>>17471231

I'm surviving, no one's complaining about me, so I'm good so far, thanks lol
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Hey man, I am proud of you. Doesn't bear much weight coming from some anonymous ass on the internet, but I know the pain/numbness of it all

File: 1471228520455.jpg (33 KB, 496x372) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1471228520455.jpg
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So a few days ago while walking to the convenience store I witnessed this guy crossing the street getting hit by a van that was going fast as fuck. I ran over to see him and as I looked at his mangled and clearly dead body and while calling the cops I couldn't help but perceive this event as something out of the action movies. You know, like, I wasn't traumatized at all. So fucking weird.

Even now, I don't feel disgusted or traumatized by that event. Is this normal? I mean, I am normal, I don't have any mental illnesses. It seems as if I'm not...
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>>17471149
Definitely a coping mechanism. Just don't think to much harder about it before it actually sets in.

>but fucking topkek for pic
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>>17471149
Intriguing. Maybe you're just a boss?
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>>17471149
>Is this normal?
Generally, yes. You don't know the guy. It would probably be very different if it were someone you genuinely cared about. People in these situations that start screaming/crying are mostly just startled from shock, like a very young child hearing a loud noise.

How do I get my daughter to wear her glasses? She is always taking them off, she has an eye that does not look forward if she is not wearing them.

Anybody wear glasses here and how did their parents do it? Any helpful answers would be appreciated.
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>>17471142
bumping for you brat
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>>17471162
thanks
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>>17471142
My parents just explained to me that I had to wear them, otherwise I am hurting myself for no good reason

Can't you try that? How old is she?


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