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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 565. page
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>bf has very large, close family
>several cousins all around our age
>some are nice, some are not
>been with bf for several years
>his female cousins test the shit out of all the male cousins' girlfriends
>me and other cousin's gf have been around longest
>they're still pretty shady to us

I'm nice. I small talk and joke with...
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>>17460318
I have the same family setup and we do the same thing. They like you
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>>17460325
They've treated me like this for five years. What a shitty way to express liking someone.
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>>17460318
Just ignore them.

In the grand scheme of things they mean nothing, are being bitches and bad mouth you regardless of how you act.

My 27 year old wife has dentures because her mom punched out her teeth when she was 16. Try staying civil with someone like that at sunday dinner.

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So, recently some of my friends have just completely stopped inviting me out with them. They've stopped inviting me and some others and its gotten to the point where the one group is pretty much becoming two small ones.

My other friends are great people, but they're not really the people who like to go out and do stuff. Staying inside playing vidya all night gets boring after a while. I need some advice on how to make new friends, should I try to reconnect with some people from my high school years or try to make some new friends at my college?

I'll...
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What are your interests? Find places where others share that same interest, join groups/clubs etc
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>>17460319
Video Games, Comics and Movies pretty much. Should I look for clubs/groups at my school or around my city?
>>
Check your local events and see if any weekly get togethers are available.

I was honestly like you back in November of last year. I moved to a new city for a new job and had no friends. Tried reconnecting with old friends from the past but the distance was the problem. Looked to see if anything was going around in my area and suddenly I now volunteer and have one day a week were I play chess with guys in my area. We drink beer, talk about life and have a good time. Went from friendless to having a solid social circle.

If you are in school, then it is even better....
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A major part of my boyfriend's life is being available for his sisters. This is good, family is important but I think it goes too far. Am I selfish/oversensitive or is their relationship weird?

They are a few years younger than him. He was kicked out of the home at age 18 and has had to work full time since then. We are both mid-twenties and he is still finishing a B.A. due to being on his own. Both sisters graduated in 4 years and have better jobs than him. He is stuck at a company without upward mobility due to his educational status. The three live together in an apartment.
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>>17460193
Other background:

>He paid for one sister's class behind parents' back to hide bad grades

>Helps them move residence without reciprocation (whole family and friends helped them but only I and his friend helped him)

>Sees them as a golden standard ("well my sisters do/wear/listen to/bought X so it must be good")

>Expected me to answer my phone during class...
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>>17460195
Maybe he's a sis-con. Seriously though he's acting like their mother, and I doubt even their mother acts like this. He sounds extremely overprotective which you'd expect from an older brother, but this is just weird. I can only imagine what your daughters would have to go through. Talk to him about his anger, and if he responds with anger then I think you know what you need to do.
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>>17460268
I don't think there's anything that level. They don't hug or touch each other or show open affection. He thinks incest is really gross to the point of talking about it every time it came up on Game of Thrones. And no their mother is not like that.

Besides the anger, is there a certain level that I should just ignore the closeness?

Like the date change situation; I was going to just think about it on my own but he asked so I was honest. Is there ever a point where I should just let it...
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Why don't people care about me?
I'm nice, kind, polite, I care about others and consider myself to be a true blue friend.
I love and value the people around me, but they don't care about me, whoever they are, friends, family, siblings. They can discard me so easily, they aren't sad if I'm not in their life, they don't 'run' after me. It seems I don't mean anything to anyone.

I just don't understand why.
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>>17460088
Have you considered that you are needy?
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>>17460088
What makes you say they don't care about you?
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>>17460093
:/ no

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How to get your ex back if she's clinically diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and has post traumatic stress disorder. She's with someone else in an LDR though not going steady.

Note: I too have PTSD and mines from child rape. How do I maximize the chances of getting her back? I'm not a retard, this isnt a sure thing but a guys gotta be a go getter. This is what I want and I have to try to get it and maximize my chances of success. She's also trying to distance herself from me too.
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She's your ex for a reason, bro. Move on, have some self-respect. Don't be that clingy child
>>
Dude, best case scenario is I get her back.

She's not worth it, I can dump her. Just as long as I don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

She's worth it, jackpot.

Options are always a good thing. If I don't get her, my only option is move on to someone else.
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>>17459978
>How do get ex back?
You don't. Life is not a rom-com. This goes double if she's actively trying to distance herself from you. I'm sorry, OP, but you have to let her go.

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>Try to go to bed
>Just lying there for hours drifting into thought or lie there as nothing happens while I try to clear my mind
How can I make going to sleep easier?

The only time I ever fall to sleep is when I reach that point about 5-7 hours after initially feeling kinda sleepy your body kinda forces you to shut down and you can barely open your eyes. By that time the sun's out..
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Do you exercise? Have a routine you do every night? Have you tried sleeping aids?
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>>17459957
No
No
Just music I find on Youtube, unless you meant drugs then no.
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>>17459944
Melatonin is great for this. Exercise can also help.

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I've wanted to try xanax for a while now but i cant order from any sites online as the stuff would be stopped at the border, guaranteed. If it is a international shipment at least. Does anyone know a good site or something to find suppliers in your area? I could order online though, as long as it's within Norway.
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>>17459912
Hit up the deepweb, and find a marketplace
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Just do meth if you want a crippling addiction
>>
I was on high dose Xanax for years, don't bother. At a certain point all you're doing is feeding your addiction. The drug doesn't even do anything anymore.

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I can fix anything

Will update progress
Snapped handsfree
Discuss
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>>17459898
Fix my life?
>>
>>
Force is strong

Guys im in a real shitty situation i dont know what to do.
>At a lan party with friends
>all the people leave early
>only person left is my friend
>we were talking about dxm because she had taken it and i was somewhat interested.
>i end up buying a dosage for both of us
>spend whole night cuddling and listening to trippy music
>best night of my life.
>in the middle of that first night things get a little sexual but no clothes off or anything but grinding
>tomorrow we just sleep and i play video games on the afterglow.
>later that night we decide to cuddle/listen to music
>things heat up and we do some foreplay no sex
>after we are done she checks facebook and gets a message saying she is pretty.
>she looks me dead in the eye and asks if she is attractive
>I freeze and cant lie and say average
>worst thing i could of said
i just checked and ive been blocked from everything that's related to her.
i normally would just try to shrug this off but the problem is she runs the lan parties.
This is the only way i can see my friends on a regular basis and is a huge part of my life but i dont know what to do about this.
She thinks i used her but that was never my intention the drugs lowered both of our inhibitions. I was always checking that she was comfortable with whatever i did.
i just feel like shit and want to fix this.
Do you guys feel like im in the wrong?
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>>17459885
Wow on a scale of 0 to completely retarded, you went way off the completely retarded end. Who the fuck says "average". Probably best to kys now.
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>>17459885
Can't you get your other friends to apologize to her on your behalf? You've blown your chances with her but you might be able to get back in the lan group.

>Do you guys feel like im in the wrong?
Yeah, that was really insensitive. If you get with a girl and then call her 'average' it sounds like you're trying to belittle her. Hopefully she will understand that you were just being dumb.
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>>17459885
Reach out to her some way- I know you're blocked, but get one of her/your friends to get you unblocked. Even if you don't have a chance with her anymore, apologise and say "I was literally on drugs, I'm so sorry. I don't think that, I don't know why I said it you're actually really cute. HMU so I can make it up to you."
Then buy her some of her favorite lan snacks.

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yesterday i was at a party with co-workers and i pooped my pants near the end. i don't think anyone noticed but when i got home there was a big brown stain on my white shorts so i can't be sure. should i casually mention something about it or let it slide?

i'm just convincing myself that my underwear caught the poop and when i sat down in the taxi it smooshed it through and stained my shorts.
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>>17459860
WAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAUSHSUSHSUAHSUDHAUDHSUAHDUSKKKKKKKKKKK good stuff anon
>>
>>17459860
>should i casually mention something about it or let it slide?
I think letting it slide was what got you in that situation in the first place, amirite?

seriously though, the classy thing would be not to mention it. so they probably won't. if they don't bring it up, you shouldn't either. chances are nobody noticed anyway.

how dark were the slacks/jeans you were wearing? did it soak through those?
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>>17459860
let it slide. dark pants from now on OP

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I am Korean and I live in South Korea. 1year and 3 months ago, I got a short one-week-long temporary job at an American car company. They hold a car show three times per year in South Korea.

The job originally involves talking to customers during the car show. Some coworkers from the States flew here for the car show. They couldn't speak Korean. The manager must have heard me speaking English with an American accent at some point (I was brought up in the states) so he asked me to be their translator. I really enjoyed that experience.

Now that I have returned...
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>>17459857
just say you want to get caught up on what's happening in the US since you were raised there and use your english. easy, you have a built in reason to begin the conversation
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>>17459896
All the other part-time coworkers never chit-chat or even talk to them. Can I just ask what happened to an American coworker who didn't come this time?
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>>17459922
of course you can and so what the other part time coworkers never chit chat with them because they have nothing in common. You grew up in the US and you speak English with an American accent. Fuck this is not hard.

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HelloI reinstalled facebook messenger and I lost around 400 fb oc nudes,is there any way to get them back? I tried apps from google play store but nothing works
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>>17459851
Have you tried logging on to Facebook via the computer not through an app?
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>>17459859
But I dont have a fb account anymore.and not the fb chat.all I had is pictures but the fb foder is overwritten
>>
You don't use the Google photos app to automatically back up photos to your Google Drive? Shiggery Diggery Doo...

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Does doing the right thing for the wrong reasons make you a bad person?
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>>17459834
Define a wrong reason.
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>>17459838
You mean give an example? By wrong reason I mean in the general moral sense.
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>>17459841
Such as?

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I was literally tongue tied when I was a kid, as in the webbing at the bottom of my tongue restricted my motion of my tongue. Is there anything I can do in order to improve my speech? As of now, it sounds like I'm slurring some times and I stumble over my words a lot.

Do you have any books or advice to help me? Thanks in advanced!
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>>17459811
Practise your enunciation by reading out loud from a book. Slow it way down until you can pronounce each syllable clearly. Then gradually speed up, making sure that you don't miss out any sounds. If you fuck up, slow down again. Exaggerating the movements of your lips will help. Recording yourself will help to track your progress.

Also, work on your mouth muscles. There are Youtube videos showing how this is done - basically it involves contorting your face and waggling your tongue around.
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>>17459833
>
Also, work on your mouth muscles. There are Youtube videos showing how this is done - basically it involves contorting your face and waggling your tongue around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrWNpA4Oao4
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>>17459833
this, also isn't there corrective surgery for this? OP ask your doc if you haven't already.

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How do you build self esteem and core confidence, /adv/?
Not egotistical confidence made through being 'better' than others, but a genuine and constant feeling of security and self belief in yourself regardless of the situation that is warm towards other people.

My whole life i've been called shy and as time goes on (i'm now 20) social interactions are becoming more unnatural and i'm 'in my head' as i've read. This even happens with my closest friends now that i've know for a decade, i'm always thinking of what to...
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Start lifiting, I am less of a sperg now.
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>>17459774

Just talk, man, the less you practice your social abilities, the worse they get.

Bottling up and withdrawing in your head will only worsen your shyness. Get out there, open up, live happily
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>>17459780
Yeah i've been lifting for three years and it does help a bit and playing sport now, but I still think very poorly of myself, and barely speak to the guys on my teams.

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>she has my number
>almost a week until I can start expecting a text
>still looking for a job so nothing to do in the meanwhile

How can you stop caring when you're a KV?
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>>17459766
It goes job first, then girls dummy.
>>
Why can't you text her first?
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>>17459768
I'm hoping to find a job by the time she returns. Still, it shouldn't matter if I don't as long as I continue looking.

>>17459771
I don't have her number. Basically we got "matched up" by someone we have a professional relationship with, so he can't just give me her number without asking if she's fine with it first (despite her showing interest). Problem is, she's not in the country right now so I have to wait.

I got HPV 3 years ago, and I haven't any symptoms in over 2 years, and in my country girls get a vaccination that prevents them catching 90% of HPV strains. Do I still have to tell a girl I have it before I sleep with them?
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Yes you fucking tool
>>
It would be awfully nice of you.
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>>17459743
Yes.
HPV might cause cervix cancer.
You're literally risking their life to get laid.

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What am I supposed to do?

For many years I have been mistreated by my parents both directly and indirectly.

My mother never showed me any support in things I was interested in. I never got that long talk or reassuring hug and could never go up to her to tell her how I was feeling about anything.

On top of this my parents would often abuse each other verbally and sometimes physically. My dad smacked me across the face really hard one time, possibly due to frustration and mum would always cry.

Through constant exposure to this I feel as if I have become...
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move out
>>
Move out. Your parents never cared before, they won't just "wake up" and start being good parents. You can't fix your parents and you'll have to move out sooner or later.

Consider therapy.
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>>17459729
you want independence then make a plan and work toward moving out. Only way to leave the daily drama behind.

Every thing is relative though. I've traveled to third world shitholes and they sell the kids for dope. You got options, use them.

>be chilling at a friends house
>his younger brother is cocky little fuck
>says im punching above my weight with current gf
>says he wouldnt date me but hey hes not a chick

said this in-front of a few people, made me feel completely disrespected. I felt like beating the shit out of him, hes only like 125 pounds and i am close to 200.
Seeing I was at his house and hes my friends brother I didn't do anything or make a stand and I feel...
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>>17459725
You need to be quicker on your feet if you want to deal with guys like that. The obvious response to those insults would have been 'it's hilarious how jealous you are' or something along those lines.

As for how to deal with anger, try meditating. It helps to put things like this in perspective.
>>
>>17459725
"You're mum thought I was pretty hot when I was giving her a pounding last night". Make a joke of it faggot, holy shit, if people can see they upset you and you just take it like a bitch it's going to keep happening. Laugh it off and uspet him with a joke about his mother or girlfriend.
>>
>>17459757
SO. MUCH. THIS.
With cocky little shits you have to play their game, you'd look like an asshoke for beating someone up over a joke.
My fiance dealt with the same kind of jokes from his family and friends when we first got together, everyone had something to say about how he was 'dating out of his league' right in front of me... he would shoot back something similar to what >>17459757 said, everyone would laugh and the person who said it would feel dumb.
Just prepare something for next time you see him and he makes the inevitable stupid comment.

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I can't get off to porn anymore. Not the normal kind atleast. Especially when I'm this high but very excited. Any anons got any tips vids or sites?
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>>17459695
Why do you need porn to get off?

Ask your dad what he use to do before pron was common place.
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>>17459695
I didn't enjoy real porn for a while.
About half a year I switched to reading hentai, now it's 50/50 again.
Still can't watch pro porn, only watch amateurs.
>>
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>>17459695
I hate pornography.

Just a reminder that you are a gay cuck if you masturbate to a man having sex with a woman.

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This year is my senior year at high school and I was wondering what /adv/ says I should do next?

I haven't decided on any kind of higher education yet. Should I go to trade school?

Should I try to get a bachelors in Electrical Engineering?

I am plan on living in a small town area and owning a bunch of land, so I can have lots of kids and live off the land.

(I just turned 18 yesterday)
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>>17459680
You should do what works economically for you now (so you don't end up with a ton of debt) but also provides you opportunities in the future that you would be happy with.

Don't worry about the college degree memes that say anything outside of the STEM fields is automatically bad.

Also, I'm sort of assuming you might be the anon from /pol/ who said they were from Cali, if so you should look into the state schools there because in-state tuition is cheap and some of the schools are really...
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>>17459680
How is electoral engineering going to help you run a farmstead?
>>
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>>17459702
>Also, I'm sort of assuming you might be the anon from /pol/ who said they were from Cali
This is me

Would an online engineering school be a good choice? Would it be cheaper?
Thank you
>>17459715
I need to be able to make money so that I can buy the land, pay Medical fees, buy equipment, etc.

I do not plan on having a huge farm, just to grow a good amount of food for my family to eat without having to buy it from stores.

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I have a female aqcuaintance that I couldn't help but get a crush on. It has been going on since late 2013 I think.

She's barely even an acquaintance, we say hi to each other at the stable but haven't ever had a conversation.
I added her on facebook this springbut haven't talked to here there.
Now i see that it's her birthday, could i use that to get messaging started somehow?
Everyone just casually congratulate people they have on facebook and it's completely normal, what if i did it in a message instead?
It would be so much easier to keep chatting if a message had been sent one time.
Maybe I could pretend that i meant to do the normal thing and write on the wall but accidentally wrote in a message. I accidentally did that for someone else a few years ago.
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Hit her up with a bday message and see where it goes from there.
>>
>>17459684
Unless I have something more planned it probably won't go anywhere from there .
>>
>>17459649
>hi to each other at the stable
Are you both into beastiality? Thats some common ground to strike up a conversation over.

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Before I start, I would like to state, I am aware I did something extreamly stupid but I believe my judgement was impaired. I will start with me. Im 29, my mom was killed a few years ago by her boyfriend. I have been pretty dysfuncional since then, but I along with my siblings, inherited a bunch of money. I put the vast majority aside for saving for retirement.

But I had a female friend that was going through an extreamly bad divorce, I know her husband beat her. She is not very intelligent, and was sounding suicidal after they slit up, but had not divorced. Well because...
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Anything in writing is legally blinding. Contact her again hinting that you need the money and that she is legally obligated to pay you back due to the contract, if she doesn't lawyer up and sue her.
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>>17459660
Go to an attorney and stop contacting her yourself. Let the attorney send her a letter. Great thing about letting the attorney handle it is they have no emotional connection and it's all a business transaction.
>>
Just lawyer up or accept you'll never see that money again. Even if you don't think it'll be legally binding, you can always show it to a lawyer and see what they think. Worth a shot. And if a lawyer laughs at you, you can keep trying to contact her and scare her I guess. But chances are she'll ask a lawyer herself too.

I get severe anxiety whenever I walk outside in places such as cross walks or sidewalks. I can't stand the thought of someone judging me. How do I deal with this?
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Specifically, what are you worried about?
>>
>>17459575
How often do you go out?
>>
>>17459582
Being looked at and judged
>>17459584
A few times a week.

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What are some tips on social anxiety and trying to get yourself in social situations?
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Stop caring about people, start working on skills

fucking /thread
>>
>>17459553
>offering no relavent advice
>demonstrating that you clearly don't understand the issue
>/threading your own post
git out
>>
>>17459559
He's right though

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My next door neighbour currently has a cat in a kennel, and has kept it there for about 2 months. It constantly crys and I was wondering what reason would they have to keep a cat locked up this long. It is never let out and I am wondering if I should I call a pet rescue agency?

They also have a dog that stays in the house

Thanks
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>>17459530
Maybe the cat is dangerous and has been confined to cat prision.
>>
Call animal control. It's abuse to confine it.
Or next time it rains or is remotely hot, just go take it or set it free. If they call the cops you can claim you saved it's life. Just be sure to document and film the whole thing. Then they'll be forced to investigate the abuse. I would continue to gather evidence against them to show authorities.
>>
There is no doubt in my mind you that should definitely be calling them to investigate the situation.

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Is not having any social media holding me back?

Will people think it's strange that I don't have Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/whatever? I'm in my early 20s, so I'm sure I'm the only person I know without social media. Is it a necessary evil if I want to have any sort of social life?
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>>
It's not necessary, but it helps
>>
It's strange in the sense that you stand out of the crowd by not using something everyone else does. Like walking in the rain bareheaded in a crowd of umbrellas. Not necessarily the good type of standing out, more like the no one gives a shit, it's your life, but it's still strange that you don't have a fucking umbrella kinda standing out.


Tbh. I don't understand the aversion to social media. You're not forced to shitpost or read others' bullshit. You can log in when you feel like it and that's about it. It helps in networking...
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>>17459451
You'll never know where any parties/events/groups are at, so yes, it's probably holding you back alot.
There's a reason everyone uses it.

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>18
>moving to California from the UK for college
>slightly anxious about such a big change, getting there, new routines etc.

How can I stop worrying? I leave in less than 2 days, wow it feels weird saying that. How brutal is US border security? It's strange, I already feel homesick even though I haven't left yet.
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You're from the UK, so if you're white you should be fine.

Joking aside though, what you're feeling is normal. Moving to another country, even temporarily, is a scary thing. And you'll get the rush of fear right before, and you'll probably have a little regret when you get here. But that will probably go away.
And I only say probably because Amerifats a shithole and idk why you'd want to come here lol.
>>
>>17459420
First time i went to washington the airport border security interrogated me with weird questions, almost yelled at me for no reason. Infact i was the last one to pick up my luggage and they even made a big deal about that.
Use the last days to overthink what you are bringing with, might be the case that you will end up missing things or memories more than your old life.
>>
>>17459438
It's better than the UK. We have shit weather, ugly women, and few prospects for millennials. I think I'll miss my pets, some of my family & friends, and the drinking age most though.

Is there any way to mitigate those feelings of regret/anxiety. I had those feelings when I started high school and it was awful. I also feel bad for leaving my family behind.

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Basically if you aren't "normal" by default your gonna be an outcast, driven out and cut off from everything in general, if you wanna have all the perks of society you have to blend in


This game is about some guy in a city that seems all happy and peachy on the surface but in reality its warped and twisted and the people who are genuinely happy are insane and the sane people have either been driven out, are hiding in plane sight, or have other horrible things happen to them


The people who are happy do it by taking their "joy"...
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>>17459381
Not at all. You're totally right. The way society is structured always involves conformity. If you don't conform, you don't become some budhha king of the normies who can act the way "he" feels is right.

If you don't conform, you simply cease to be part of society. Like the r9k robots. But you can't just fake conformity. The paradox is that unless you are completely indoctrinated, you cannot function in society.
>>
>>17459419
The game seems to feature more than just a dichotomy of people accepted in the society vs people outside of it, the player character can fake being on joy even when he isn't, but it takes constant effort and if you mess up even one bit they will become suspicious and if you don't correct the situation fast they will know you are off the joy, and just running away wont cure their suspicion either

By smiling, waving, and saying little cliches like lovely day they will be all like "ok hes cool"...
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>>17459381
>Life is shit
>Game is shit too!
DUDE WOAH EERIE SIMILARITIES

By pure chance I am going on a short hike with a group of people of whom I dont know anybody really well. Also, there will be 4 girls and just one guy (me).

I feel kinda awkward hanging out with group of people I dont know that well. We┬┤ve seen each other few times but always in another group and so we didnt really talk much.

What can I do to ease into it?
4 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Ask probing questions and try to continue line of

questioning to show interest. Make sure to

nod your head and smile. Don't talk about

yourself unless it is to comment how you

have something in common with them.

Smile and be friendly
>>
>>17459329
>4girls
>1guy

Have fun, anon.
>>
>>17459401
I dont know man. I got over most of my social anxiety over the years but I still am autistic with girls.


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