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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 572. page
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A person in one of my classes constantly asks to hangout. I have told him I'm busy or something like 5 times in a row and he still doesn't get the message. He just keeps texting me. What's the nicest way to tell him I don't like him? Is there anyway without being a total dick?
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>>17455854
Just tell him to stop that's it
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>>17456098
Hey I also forgot something


It depends of the context surrounding the guy (he's depressed or something) if you can gather that info then you should elaborate an answer with it so it would be less painful or maybe even won't have effect and he will stop
>>
I would recommend being upfront about it. Step on his toes. Don't be a dick, but establishing your boundaries definitely includes stepping on some toes. It might FEEL like you're being a dick, but you have a right to establish boundaries. However you decide to word this, just make sure that you are FIRM AND CLEAR that you do not want to hang out. Otherwise, they will continue to persist. I recommend something like:

"I'm sorry I wasn't more upfront about this, but I'm not interested in hanging out with you. Please don't text me asking...
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18 yr old male getting kicked out of my parents house. Tonight is my last night I have nowhere to go and do not want to spend money on a hotel so I will be living in my car. My only concern is how will I bathe? Pls help
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>>17455837
Are you an amerifat?

You got your car as shelter for now, next is securing a place to clean yourself and be able to use the bathroom. Maybe a 24 hr fast food restaurant or a park nearby?
>>
I am a burger. How do I get out of this situation.
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>>17455851
How much cash do you have? Any assets like video game consoles or computers? If so pawn that shit cuz you won't have time for any of that for some time to come

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I'm ashamed as fuck of it and it's fucking gross,a full on beard I feel if she puts her head on me. she also has a stye around her eye and I hate being seen in public with her. She is hella friendly but it's so sad because she's so ugly. I am ashamed to be around her and I need advice on how I could be around her in public and not be so ashamed I need to leave the store because my friends working cashier.

What do
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>she

Also this board is 18+.
>>
Ask her for skincare tips. Say you break out a lot and have been wondering what products to get.

Steer the conversation to hair bleaching and removal because you have a monobrow that you have to constantly shave. Ask if electrolysis is BS or if it legit works.

Plant the seed.
>>
"I'm not trying to be mean, but have you noticed you've got some hair on your face? people give you odd looks sometimes, have you tried shaving it?"

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Everytime I try to talk to people I lose track of my thoughts or just can't think of anything to say. Everytime someone asks to hangout I end up cancelling because I'm afraid I'll fuck up in some way. I know these thread are probably posted a lot but anything helps.
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people claim you have to study anything before you do it, but its not true. and even then people use it as an excuse to never actually do something social cuz they can claim they are studying it for years and years.

there are many things you learn simply by having someone walk you through doing it. refuse to get a wingman? than you have no choice but to walk yourself throug hit.

practice has always made perfect. you cannot get better without doing. so keep doing.

there are no 'failed' interactions. just interactions.
>>
>>17455835
You're right, the only way to get better is to try. But its going to suck so much ass at first.
>>
>>17455835
this is honestly a good way to look at it, you just have to immerse yourself in the interaction your having at the time. Honestly, you start to realize that most people you talk to just latch onto the feeling that you're putting out. Even if you're feeling awkward just let yourself feel that way and accept it. This will just let you relax and become more in tune with our body. you don't have to be interesting 100% of the time.
Usually what will happen is that the other person will start leading...
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Is vitiligo unattractive?

I'm Irish pale so it isn't that noticeable, but I have this on over 50% of my body.
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>>17455816

yes. there is very few cases where someone says 'wow you look even better with vitiligo' or even about the same.

however its just one of those htings that dont matter if the rest can compensate.

one thing to keep in mind is that the world isnt just divided between ugly and attractive. there are shades.
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>>17455816
depends, it can seem cool and attractive, but then there's people it just fucks up and makes them look like they're a burn victim. The picture you showed and there's a lot of other people that have vitiligo which looks cool.

If you're that conscious about it you can use makeup. if you're worried about your partner caring if you're a girl it's easy to get guys to fuck you, if you actually want a relationship the person you're with shouldn't be upset by something like that.
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>>17455816
I personally wouldn't mind as long as you don't attempt tanning, it's even kinda cute desu

I think most people won't really care unless it really contrasts with your skin (which you already mentioned doesn't, so...) or they don't like pale people in general (in which case you would be fucked either way)

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>find a reputable asian massage parlor on rubmaps
>reviews all say they got handjobs, especially from a lady named "Bonnie"
>most recent review is just 2 weeks ago
>go to said place, get Bonnie
>leave $50 on the side table. People saying they tip her on average about $40
>shes massaging me
>im rubbing her ass and pussy, at first she pulls away but then after a while she starts to lean her ass into my hands
>time for the flip
>hard as diamonds
>I go "it's too hot" and remove my towel
>she's flirting hardcore, shit like "ohhhh, your face so handsome!"
>she smiles and acknowleges my boner
>she starts massaging my thighs
>i grab her hand and direct it towards my cock
>she resists while laughing "no we don't do that here!"
>she moves my own hand to my cock and watches me jerk off
>she continues massaging
>I grab her hand again and direct her towards my cock
>she resists and then leaves the room
>wtf, maybe this is one of her tactics? get me to jerk off myself in anticipation so that she can come back and stroke me twice before i cum and pay her $50 for it?
>continue jerking off
>getting bored
>now getting limp
>wtf is going on?
>mama-san walks in, laughs and tells me the massage is over and then spanks my ass playfully as I'm leaving
>I take back my $50 from the table and walk out in shame

I don't get it. I'm not some kind of unhygenic neckbeard or anything, and I just got rejected by a prostitute to give me a handjob for $50

not to mention, this is my 4th time coming to this place, and never got anything

feels bad. what did I do wrong?
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>>17455814
Pls respond
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>>17455814
I had a friend who went to a place like this and supposedly some old lady massaged him and put her tits and ass on his face and he ran out. It could be worse OP. 50$ hj seems like a waste anyway
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>>17455952
$50/hj is still cheaper than having a girlfriend to do it desu

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>look in mirror
>see fat disgusting slob
>think about how much I hate him
What is there to be done about this?
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>>17455793
get a different mirror
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>>17455793

shoot the mirror
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>>17455793
Go to the gym, eat healthily.

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Is it okay for guys wear makeup?

I wear concealer under my eyes to cover my eyebags because they make me feel insecure. They're really purple and deep and people have commented on them in the past.
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>>17455778
>Is it okay for guys wear makeup?
Unless you are on TV, no.
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>>17455778
Who gives a shit? That's what it's for.
>>
It's literally just face paint powder. Who the hell cares? Do what you want.

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Hey, /adv/, I don't really know if this fits here or not, but I'll check anyway.

I take my pants off yesterday, and I find these on my upper thigh. They don't hurt or itch or anything. Initially I think maybe they're a bunch of pimples since I get those occasionally on my inner thigh, it was 90 degrees outside, and I was wearing tight jeans.

Wake up this morning and there are four more spots on my butt cheek so I start to think maybe it's something else. Maybe bed bugs since they kind of look like bug bites. Google it and can't find...
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>>17455752
And my left. That white spot is an old scar from who knows how long ago.

I'd check with a doctor, but I don't have health insurance and I moved into a new place a couple of weeks ago so money is a little tight.
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>>17455760
Oh, and I read something about bed bugs only going after exposed flesh, but I've only been sleeping in my underwear the past few weeks so it's odd that they would congregate on the only clothed part of my body.
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>>17455752
u have disease, amputate immediately

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When I take a diarrhea dump how to I make sure the poop water doesn't splash on my ballsack?
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>>17455746
Put a piece of toilet paper in the water first.
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>>17455755
That's pussy shit
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>>17455756
Then don't complain when water splashes your nutsack gaybo.

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What's the point in living when I don't want to have children?
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>>17455742
>35
>married for a decade
>no kids
>just got home from seeing some local band
>didn't have to pay for a baby sitter
>don't have to pay for school or baby clothes
>don't have to touch someone else's feces
>its just after midnight and I'm listening...
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>>17455794
what's the point of being married then?
Do both of you not want to have kids?
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>>17455799
Neither of us want kids, but we're into each other. We have similar interests, enjoy one another's company, I literally cannot imagine life without her. She's like a best friend I get to have sex with who shares half of the bills and is still into picking up college girls in bars. She knows things about me that nobody else ever will. Its a wonderful, mutual, adult relationship. Why would we want to fuck that up with an expensive, time consuming child who would ruin a lot of the things we like to do just by being there? Spontaneous brunch and Bloody Marys? Not with a toddler. Random sex over the dining room table? That'd scar a kid. Trying to explain your new friend Suzy and why she was sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed (let alone why she kept yelling "daddy" last night)? Fuck that shit. College funds and money for a decent private school? Not at this time.

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At every turn I get fucked over really hard in life. Every little or big expectation is flipped and turned into something sour.
>final hope to prove to myself that things can work out with organization and focus
>plan trip with gf
>3 months in advance
>save up every penny we have
> it's in 2 days, we raised the money, we're going
>she got terribley sick out of nowhere and I've...
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Ever heard of something called a self fulfilling prophecy
>>
expect the worst and hope for the best
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>>17455748
My car got totaled 2 times in 3 months from natural disasters, it's also had tree branches fall on it when I'm not parked near a tree. Every event I've planned in the past year has not worked out for bizzare coincidences. Every errand I've ran has some catch to it that makes it a headache to work with. I've tried being positive and being cool and not thinking about it. I just get blindsided too often.

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I'm about to live in my own place. What are some important stuff to always remember?
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>>17455731
That after you kill yourself nobody will find you for awhile.
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>>17454813

Read everything in this thread.
>>
>>17455731
Save enough money to cover your bills for at least 6 months.

Make a deal with someone that you can count on that if something happens and you need to count on someone, they will be there for you. And you for them. Doesn't have to be somebody particularly close to you.

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My girlfriend is moving tomorrow, she will live a few hours away for a couple years. I have a '99 Jeep XJ which gets horrible gas milage, that I simply couldn't afford to drive on long trips often. My other vehicle is a Corvette which has been straight pipped and is not suited for long highway cruises.

To afford a newer fuel efficient car I would have to trade in my Corvette, which I absolutely do not want to but feel I have to in order to visit my girlfriend often. How do I get over the thrill and sentiment of this car in order to be more practical? Any advice...
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>>17455723
Is the Corvette not suited for long highway cruises just because of the straight pipe or because it also gets bad gas mileage and/or is uncomfortable because of the sporty suspension, etc?
If the first is true, I'd think about buying a stock exhaust system (or atleast one that's quieter than the straight pipe)

Also, do you have your Jeep because you actually need to go offroad regularly? And what shape is it in?
If it's not too beaten up and you don't really need it, you could trade in your Jeep instead and get some cheap used economy car while keeping your Corvette

Can you maybe reach the place your gf is moving to with public transport (bus, train, etc)? And if yes, how much would that cost you? (I'm from europe and not familiar with the american public transport infrastructure and pricing)
>>
>>17455723
This isn't about your girlfriend. This is a point in your life where you realize you need to make an important decision:
Do I continue to be a piece of shit, or do I be an adult?
>>
>>17456412
The Corvette is bearable for highway cruises in terms of suspension and ride, fuel economy isn't the best but is better than the Jeep. In terms of the commute I would be taking, the Corvette wouldn't not be my first choice.

The Jeep is needed for snow, although I do not go off-road I do need it for the occasionally snow days. It is in great condition, but the handling and fuel economy is not suited for the trip.

A train would be possible, but the place to board and the closest station to...
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Sup /adv/isors,

I'm 25, and as I get older I'm a little more interested in the idea of homosexual experimentation. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm straight (inb4 you're not straight if you're thinking about this); I'm not attracted to men in the slightest and really the only thing that appeals to me is sucking a dick. Maybe it's just because I masturbate a lot and associate dicks with pleasure, but it does kind of turn me on. Ideally it would be some kind of glory hole situation where I don't have to look at or interact with...
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>>17455722
>I'm not attracted to men in the slightest and really the only thing that appeals to me is sucking a dick.

>but I'm not gay

How are people like this allowed to breathe?
>>
>>17455779
Ok fine I'm a degenerate flaming faggot or whatever makes you feel comfortable, question still stands.
>>
>>17455722
you do realize there is a fag board you could go to and ask

I casually used the word nigga with my black friend tonight, and though it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest, I feel guilty.

He didn't react negatively whatsoever, we continued our conversation and enjoyed the rest of the night, but I'm concerned that if I'm feeling guilty about it in retrospect, maybe he will be upset about it in retrospect.

I think I should just move on and not use that word with him in the future. What do you lads think?

p.s. In addition, I'm planning on giving him a call, without mentioning the NIGGA...
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>A cracka using nigga
He should beat yo skinny white ass
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>>17455686
This is an advice thread for me, not him, bucko
>>
Actual black people are the demographic that feels least offended by that. They call themselves Niggers all the time. If you tell him that you feel guilty about using a dirty word in his presence, he'll probably just think you are a weirdo.

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i cheated on my girlfriend and i need help making her feel important again. i really do love her, but i dont know how to prove it. i dont want to be alone without her.
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>>17455656
Can you justify cheating? Nope.
>>
>>17455656
>i dont want to be alone
No one wants to be alone, but you wouldn't have cheated on her if you actually loved her.
Take your mistake like a man and leave her, because clearly it's not working out.
You may take comfort in the possibility that you find a partner that you are more compatible with in the future
>>
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>>17455656
>I really do love her

Dude fuck off.

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I should clarify that the two absolutely hate each other. It's likely overreacting/paranoia, but there's a part of me that's afraid one of them will end up murdering the other eventually.

Anyway, seeking advice on what a divorce would potentially do to the household. They have three children including me, but I'm currently a sophomore in college and live at school for most of the year. Also 3 dogs. My dad is the only one that works while my mom takes care of the house. Both of them I would argue to have emotionally abused the other, but I don't...
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>>17455653
It's likely all assets including the house are divided between them and child custody arrangements agreed upon. Then, an assessment of need and income is made and the share of assets adjusted to take account of capacity to earn and the cost of providing for kids etc.

The house may or may not be sold. The court will listen to the kids if they have an opinion on living arrangements.
>>
It'll suck ass, especially if one or both of them decide to be spiteful. Your house will be sold, your dogs will likely have to be rehomed. Your mom will likely get most of the money/assets, which seems unfair and bullshit until you realize that she currently has no way of generating income and has been out of the workforce for such a large period of time that it will be difficult for her to enter it, meaning she will burn through those assets quickly on just finding a place to life and taking care of two kids. Your siblings will probably go with her, it's possible...
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>>17456043
That doesn't sound very fun at all.

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helllo everyone and sorry in advance for my drunkness. I've seen som places and hear from friends that guys get bored with a girl if getting sex is too easy. like if the chase is gone? That guys are most interested when its at elast a bit difficult.

Is this true? I can't think of a single time in the last six months that I shot my bf down when eh wanted sex. Am I making him bored by making things too e asy?
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>>17455648
You're drunk.
Don't do that shit, or your bf will find a new gf.
>>
this only applies for when you start dating ("should i have sex on the first date or will it be too easy/boring?"). when in a relationship sex should come easily if both want it
>>
>>17456157
On principal I agree, but I usually hear this stuff in referent to male psychology I've read/heard that guys interpret "easy" as "low value". If I'm making it easy for him, am I making him disinterested?

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Looking for the most secure, most private... Price doesn't matter much.
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PIA, also you should share your VPN with me :( I really fucking need one.
>>
Ya there?
>>
>>17455654
PIA looks great, and not expensive.

Are you legit asking for me to buy you one?

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I don't know what to do. I've lost all interest with my wife. She fights with me everyday about the dumbest shit and I'm sick of it. How do I tell my wife it's over?
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If you haven't even given it a try, try counseling. Work at it a bit man.
>>
>>17455612
Hand her the signed divorce papers along with a pen
>>
I've tried to talk her into counseling but she refuses to do any counseling. We have literally nothing in common other than good sex.

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Is it normal to have zero friends in college?
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>>17455606
Not really, no.
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>>17455606
Its not normal to have no friends at all.
>>
>>17455606
Nope. Even a pathetic stumble bum like myself had 10 while I was around. Seriously, it's not normal.

In fact, there was a disabled kid who looked like a mutant fish who STILL had some friends.

Everyone's there to mingle. Not start relationships, but mingle as buds.

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No matter how much I rest my eyes, they're always tired and have a very hard time keeping a focus on something close. Even applying the 20/20/20 rule doesn't help.

I even spent an entire week off of pc as I went on a vacation, and still too weak to keep them focused. It literally feels like the muscles inside of my eyes are giving up every time I try to keep my focus on something close. I have a tiny astigmatism but that's all. I can't afford glasses until a couple months.

This is really bothering me, as I never ever had a problem with this...
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Lol chill dude.
You need some glasses
Your eyes will stop straining
Your eyes will go back to normal
>>
>>17455599
I'm pretty sure that you can't permanently damage your eyes by looking at screens. Get an eye check-up, only an optometrist can tell you what's wrong.
>>
>>17455621
>>17455636
Thanks senpaitachi. You figuratively took a ton heavy weight off my chest.

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Here's the situation I like this girl I've known for like a year I talked to her this time last year and I said. I didn't want anything with her and I got a different girl now she has a boyfriend and I text her like every month to see if she wants to hangout and she always avoids it she says she wants to but idk last time I talked to her was 1 month ago and I'm wondering if I should text her any advice dubs decides what I text her if I do
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Serious advice: You fucked up telling her you don't like her like that. It seems obvious that you both like each other, but if you bring that up to her she may not make the connection and say, "But anon, I have a boyfriend and you said you don't like me like that." So that's on you. You fucked up. Honestly, you should be truthful with her. Say, "I actually do like you, but I fucked up." Something to that effect. Report back what she says and maybe we can give you more advice.
>>
>>17455591
Thanks nigger that's actually right she said she liked me a lot but she thought I played her
>>
This is Nigger again: Why am I getting a connection error when trying to respond to your message?
You probably did play her, man. But own up to it. You can't live your life in the shadow of your own doubt. I know it's hard, but for real. Let us know what happens.

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I'm 18 and about to fuck for the first time, do you have any advice for foreplay? (Kissing, massage etc) i want this girl to feel satisfied :)
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Here lad, just satisfy yourself. It has worked well for me so far.
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>>17455586
Yeah dude, but I'm really nervous, and i heard that the first time sucks anyway so I just wanna make it nice for her.
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>>17455571
just make sure she's wet and begging for it before you stick it in.

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Hey guys, here's my plan: By 2024 myself and my best friend will likely have the funds to achieve our dream of buying about 10 acres of land and building our own houses, having some crops and livestock (tobacco, tomatoes; goats, chickens), and having a garage/workshop with tons of tools, and a small building specifically for recording music and stuff.

We're both in Cleveland and looking to do this in the US, but we have some criteria to meet for the location of our dream homestead.

1) Must not be as fucking cold as Cleveland, Ohio. We love it up here,...
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>>17455562
Damn those sound like nice plans
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>>17455565
Yeah bro. We're doing some business shit and saving that should get us pretty chunk of change, and this is how we want to invest our money. Living how we want, growing most of our own food, and continuing to do what we love.


The planned houses aren't mansions either. I just want to build my own modest home to suit my needs. Most of the land will be used to further support our lifestyle.
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>>17455568
Fucking amazing! That sounds like fun, maybe throw in a pot plant or something.
You could also go hunting and shit.

I would do something similar it just sounds laid back and awesome.

ok, so I've thought long and hard about an hero'ing, and basically ive decided thats the cowards way out. rather than off myself, whats a good way to donate my life? I've read about the kurds accepting westerners to fight ISIS, but so far thats my only lead. give me some ideas.
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OP, that's an awesome thing to consider.
French Foreign Legion. You can spend the next year being an utter criminal asshole, and join the FFL and start over with a new name and identity. If I hadn't gotten my fuckup younger self organized, I'd have gone that route.

An Hero is not an option, if you have people who care about you. It's just awful for them.

OP, get your shit together. Regardless of how bad it is now, you have options to build a good life. Don't walk away from the opportunity to start fresh.
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exactly my point. too many poeple care about me for me to just put them through that selfish pain. an hero is not an option

Ive got my life "together" I make 60k a year as a machinist after only being graduated for 2 years. I workout everyday, and have plenty of people that would call me a "friend"

I took my 2nd dose of mushrooms about a year ago, and it absolutely changed me, I saw the world for what it is, and myself for what i was. I quit drinking, smoking and doing drugs about 3 months after that, and on paper, my life is grand. but it still...
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If your life feels meaningless, seek out meaning more in your life. Build something- a life for yourself, or connect with someone and build a relationship. If you're a person who is cerebral, thoughtful, and not too self-involved, have a damn kid or 3. Having a son changed me.
I can't speak to your experience, but I found that the things that I didn't have drove me. I was shy, smart and quiet, so I sought out the opposite, and it worked. I grew up. You can find the same for yourself.

just had a mutual brake up with a girl i was dating for 4 years, we were our first real relationship, not some bullshit hit it and quit it, what now? i feel empty and have no clue what to do to fix it or how to move on. we are still pretty involved with eachother still after the break up, go to the same college, which is fucked, live around eachother, we arent hostile either, im literally just spewing, what the fuck do i do
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>>17455483
I don't have anything useful to say I just didn't want to see your thread with 0 replies because I am in the same situation except we have 0 contact

It sucks I miss her but, idk whatever. I hate my life
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>>17455520
i feel you dude, literally took our v cards and everything
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Why'd you end it OP?

I'm currently going into my 4th year in my relationship with very similar circumstances and it's just... stagnant. The feelings just aren't there for me.

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I fucking hate myself

Girls liked me in high school, they flirted with me and touched me and asked me to dances and sent me love letters on valentines day

But I am literally an asperger and didn't realize it, now it's too late because this kind of stuff doesn't happen to me because I work in an office where everyone's older than me and it just doesn't happen and I don't know anyone anymore

Why didn't I just realize they liked me and wife one of them

OMFG IF YOU'RE IN HIGHSCHOOL DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES...
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yeah the same happened to me. i actually met up with one of those girls quite a few years later thinking there still might be something there....nope. im a fuckin dummy.
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hey, at least you're not an ugly sperg
we'll never know how any of this feels
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You know, many people realise things too late. It's called hindsight.

Although for you, I highly doubt it's too late. Feel sad for now, but you can use this lesson to grow. In short; is a life without this knowledge better or worse?

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I recently just got a new haircut and a lot of girls have been telling me it looks really good, but this one girl in my 4th period (shes really hot) , kept looking over her shoulder in my direction. I believe shes interested in me, but then again she could just be thinking its weird since i had really long hair until yesterday. Anyways, how would i be able to tell if shes into me and how to get to talk to her. Im kind of (am) a non-charasmatic guy so ive never tried asking.
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Tell her something. Anything, a joke or a remark or some sheet. Before you know it she'll be gone.
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>>17455459
Before you know it you'll be 50 OP and will never see her again

Ask her out, I'm begging you to honestly. Having a bit of a mental breakdown myself right now over my wasted opportunities in high school

Please ask her out, do it for me.

Sorry. That's weird. But I'm serious.
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Being awkward is better than being a FUCKING PUSSY


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