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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 574. page
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I'm 26 years old.
I own a house.
I own a nice car.
I have a well paid job.
I'm pretty /fit/.

An yet. And YET...
I don't have a gf.


Can you FUCKING BELIEVE THAT?
I have been met with nothing but rejection everywhere since I started college, but now that I have a decent and stable life, I can't find a god damn partner.
Even though most people of my age are still struggling with the post-recesession economy, meaning I'm well ahead the pack, financially.

What the fuck am I doing wrong here?
Or what is wrong with everyone else?

Guide me guys
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>>17455050
Probably you're ugly, bitter, boring or annoying.
>>
>>17455054
Pretty much. I doubt OP is ugly as fuck
>>
u just have 2

b urself

so im in little bit of a tight spot

i used to date this girl

>fat
>meh face
>clingy
>used to be a total bitch
>used to cheat on me all the time
>only stuck around cause i had low self esteem and really wanted the company..

really bad times. but eventually i started looking up life coaches and stuff on the internet and it really help me out of my hole.. im doing MUCH...
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>>17455043
Just wanted to comment that that picture looks uncannily like my brother.
>>
Is the kid really yours? Did you do a paternity test?

Also, you really should get a lawyer.
>>
>>17455067
did your brother knock up some fat ugly bitch a year ago?

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How do I make money when I'm 20 year old white male and have no previous work experience?
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>>17455040
manual labour

jeez cunt
>>
how soft are your lips?
>>
>>17455042
in all seriousness though this guy gets it

My roommate has a 3 year old dog, what looks like a shiatsu cross breed. He's not toilet trained because for the two years owning him I guess she never thought to train him. Anyway, she leaves for work at 8 in the morning, and then gets back after 6pm, and in this time allotted the dog is kept in a kennel because she doesn't want him peeing on things.

This kennel is tiny. It's barely big enough for him. She doesn't give him food or water in the 10 hours that she's gone, and all he does is sit there. I sneak into her room to check on him and make...
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Tell her you don't mind watching the dog when she's gone if you want to take it out for a walk or something to get some exercise or something. I don't see why she'd be opposed to it.
>>
>>17455028

You do something for that poor dog. Anything. Keeping that dog trapped in a kennel for 10 hours a day in completely inhumane.

Call animal services, talk to your roommate, sneak the dog out, take the fucking thing to the pound without telling her. Do ANYTHING. Whatever you do you can't let that dog endure the torture your piece of shit roommate is putting it through.

You have an obligation to do something.
>>
>>17455031
I have no issue with taking him out and playing with him, the problem is that I start college soon, I'll soon have a job, and then my free time is spent at the gym. I spend a LOT of time at that gym.

>>17455038
I don't want to do anything myself, because I'm locked into this lease for a year. Even if the dog is taken care of, she'll know it's me because no one else comes in here.

As much as I care about the dog, I would rather...
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So help me out /adv/. I need to figure out my life. I am about to be graduating from Columbia with a 3.7 GPA with a BS in chemE. I have some research experience and one boring office internship which I hated. I am white, 6''.

I am completely anti-social. No friends at all. I am an aggressive person always tend to stand up to professors and am kinda an asshole. I have never dated anyone and I have never had sex. I am also likely the worse speller at Columbia, so I don't think I could ever pass the LSAT.

I am trying to decide what I want to spend...
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>>17455018
should I just move to Alaska?
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>>17455046
I don't really know the US education/graduate job system unfortunately, but I was a university graduate 2 years ago and currently work as a programmer.

It's not clear what you're asking for though. Career advice or life advice?

If you want a 'real' job in an industry you're interested in, work out what exactly you want to do first and then dedicate as much time as you can towards landing it. Finding a job has to become your job.

If you can't decide but you still...
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>>17455082
I have the chance to apply to graduate school and I am going to. I am really happy when I am doing research. I feel good all of the time.

I really need to find someone I can get emotionally close to. I have been using the internet as a substitute for an SO all of my life. This needs to change.

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I work a graveyard shift 5 days in a row. My older brothers live in my house and bring their fucking kids from the baby mommas house every weekend. I'm fucking tired of this. 3 fucking kids running around I already yelled at them to stop and they still run just around the kitchen but it's still makes loud noise because of shifty hollow flooring. At the same time my brothers don't discipline their kids and my damn mother yells at them and brings them over at least 4 times during the weekday. I'm fucking tired of this. My eyes burn cause I'm tired and...
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Is it possible to kick Bro out?

I had a similar situation with my brothers (they would play games really loudly until like 2 am when I had to get up at 3am). I literally went insane one night from lack of sleep. Slammed doors, chairs, thfew things screaming at them. Never happened again, but with kids it's a little harder since they're not yours.

Also, Mexican by chance?
>>
Eye drops maybe? I had similar shit happen (sister living back home, two rambunctious kids, working nights).

When I was on the brink of snapping I just sat everyone down and calmly (but sternly) said they needed to be quiet in the day or go outside. I mentioned that I slipped up a few times at work due to being tired and that I didn't want to lose my job or the car I was very close to paying off.

They were better after that. I still needed to remind them a few times but it wasn't as bad.
>>
>>17455048
Good suggestion I'll stop by a pharmacy and grab some eye drops. There's comfort in knowing I'm not the only one with these type of problems

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I feel beta as fuck and probably look the part, how can I make myself look better and how can I act that will help me not seem like a pushover?
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>>>/fit/
>>>/fa/
>>
scroll down to category. loooots of articles that will help

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/
>>
For what it's worth op, I'm a gay guy, pretty decent looking actually, and I'd cuddle with ya ;p

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So I'm 18 and I'm applying for college, but I'm unsure of myself in writing my essay.

I'm very intellectual and read and think all the time (politics, philosophy, psychology, etc.), so much so that I want to become a professor.

I'm thinking about addressing this prompt on the Common App:

>Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I figured...
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If you think you can become a professor you are dilutional. You should just write an interesting essay that somehow addresses the prompt.
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>>17455060
I know that it's a joke trying to get into academia these days, and it's not my intention to mention that in my essay for the exact reason you said I'm delusional.
>>
If you have a really interesting story about this (something you've done eith your passio , or something that happened to you that sparked this) then it could be a good essay if it really matters to you. Otherwise, I would definitely not go for it. I just don't think it will make you stand out and will come across exactly how you're afraid it will.

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Having a bit of an existential crisis lads.
Sometimes in my day to day life i'm overcome by the feeling that the world is nothing more than a picture, as if it is dimensionless, something I could reach out and rip through. This is to say that it feels unreal.
It happened for the first time back in March and now I feel like this several times a day.
How do I get back in my mind?
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A therapist, I guess.
>>
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What do you mean by dimensionless? Things are 2-d?

I have and on and off existential crisis situation going on for the past few years now. Sometimes its crippling but at others I can coach myself back to functioning. I just cant bring myself to see a therapist and speak honestly face to face.

With me its the realization that objectively everything is equally meaningless. I get stuck in that for a while sometimes. As in everything I will do is for naught because I will die and do will with earth and maybe my species too.

Sometimes (or eventually) I remind...
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Your soul is crying out for meaning. People want to find meaning in something greater than themselves.

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My mentally ill neighbor keeps setting off his car alarm at random times of day (morning, noon, evening, and, night).
I'd like to talk to him, but he's super creepy.

Should I just call the police? Can they do anything?
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>>17454939

>Should I just call the police? Can they do anything?

Not until he hurts somebody or destroys something. You can thank our dysfunctional health care and prison systems that put all of our money into imprisoning and executing mentally ill people instead of getting them the help they need before they finally lose it and hurt someone or themselves.
>>
>>17454939
Disable/remove the car alarm.
>>
I'm pretty sure you can file a noise complaint, but the cops will likely not do anything about it anyways.

Hell I lived across the street from a drug house once and was getting fed up with cars parking outside their house at all hours of the night, blasting their shitty wub wub wub du(m)b step music so loudly it shook my fucking house. Filed a noise complaint, hoping a cop car would just drive down the street because I knew that alone would be enough to scare the druggies off. Never did anything though. It was worth a shot tho.

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Alright, fellas and fellerettes. Teach me how to properly tinder.

I have always eschewed such platforms because I don't believe in casual sex and loveless intimacy. My first time was just that, though, and although I feel I could have done better with my partner I realise the experience has actually done only good at how I view women in life.

Sadly, most of my attempts to find a girlfriend since then have ended in failure, and it's not doing good on me. The frustration is putting a lot of pressure on me and I'm feeling left out of an experience that...
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I think most guys need to make some effort to have a girlfriend. They usually tolerate a lot of crap and/or wait a while to get one. It's not exactly easy, far as I can tell. You're not alone.
>>
>>17454924
idk man, I just try to use it but most of the girls dont even anser me.
>>
For starters don't expect a sane, rational woman out of online dating. Online dating appeals to those who are too fucked up to try to meet people IRL. There's a handful of normal people on there, but you will be in a sea of daddy issues and damaged goods.
Second of all, don't expect a relationship out of tinder. It is notoriously a hook up site. Sounds like you're at least cool with that, but don't get your hopes up.

Here's my personal instarejection list as a femanon.
>Group picture as main picture
I...
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She's a good girl,a good student at primary school. Always on the top of the chart. She's going through her puberty time and started to be hard to catch and rebellious.
My parents finds it difficult to talk to her and confront her if there's anything that happened. I think it's alright I'm okay with that cause i was there before. But my parents wouldn't understand this for her. Especially my mom always wanted her to do everything in the way she wants my sister to do.
Now she doesn't have any friends. She always home to play with her...
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she has autism. im sorry anon there is no cure
>>
Bumpppp
>>
she's weird

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How do I cut someone out of my life I feel that their personality and behavior has changed and they are just an annoyance to talk to and I'm sick of making up excuses to avoid them
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>>17454824
>I feel you have changed in ways that names us no longer compatible for a friendship. A, B, C reasons. I just don't feel we really connect anymore.
>>
>>17454833
That makes us*
>>
>>17454824
You didn't directly say it, but you don't want to tell the person this straight up, do you?

Maybe change your personality when around this person to one which will drive them away.

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I'm moving out in 3 days. I think I have everything but I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

What did you wish you knew when you moved out, /adv/? Any tips/tricks to save money or do things more efficiently on my own?
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Anons, please. I will give myself one bump.
>>
How to cook.
>>
I lived out for 6 months. Living at home before I move to a new apartment.

What I wish I knew before I moved out?
You can get very lonely.
Giving your gf the spare key is a bad idea.
Decorating is expensive and takes time.

Np anon. Good luck!

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Is it okay to lie, if you're ashamed about the truth?
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It's always okay to lie.

It's not okay to get caught.
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>>17454815
That depends on your moral perspective, and your level of moral flexibility. The severity of what you're trying to hide, and the effect of lying about it, matters too.
>>
Say you had xx amount of sexual partners. That fact embarks you on an adventure of discomfort and embarrassment.

Okay to lie? Yes/no

By the way. It's just a general discussion.

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Quit weed a couple weeks ago and now instead of jumpy and anxious, I'm sad and horny like I was before I started smoking. How do I fix being sad and horny all the time?
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Hookers and blow?
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>>17454801
Trying to cut down on my unhealthy habits and I think both of those would qualify.
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>>17454810
I'm not a therapist but I think sadness comes from to much idle time. I don't know what your schedule's like but if you have no purpose in life you will be sad. Being horny..... tinder? feed the geese?

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How am I supposed to pick a primary care physician?

Finally got insurance, don't know how to use this shit. I have shit I'm pretty sure I'll need to see a sleep specialist about, which means I'll need a referral. Where do I even start? Am I looking for a clinic or a hospital? Should I just go with whatever's closest?
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pls
>>
>How to PCP
>not about drugs
wew

So you go to a doctor. If you like him, you keep going back. If you don't, you go someplace else next time. To get a referral, you ask your doctor for one.
>>
>>17454977
thx

also i guess my image was misleading

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Apologies for the length of this post. I'm not good with words.

My whole life I've struggled with anxiety and depression. I believe the depression is a direct result of my anxiety. It mostly manifests as social anxiety so I have trouble being around or communicating with other people. Even writing this is really difficult, knowing that actual people will be reading it.

I didn't realize my anxiety was a problem, or that it wasn't normal, until I was around 18. Since then I've been trying really hard to get better and improve my life. Now...
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This did not help, as over the last four years I have still thought about her quite a bit, despite minimal contact when we happened to both be in our home town and run into each other (maybe three times total in four years). We have some mutual friends so I haven't been able to avoid her completely without also avoiding the people who are my only real friends. From our limited interactions it seems that she at least no longer hates me.

Over the years my yearning and affection shifted to anger and resentment toward her. In my head I was blaming her for my depression...
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>>17454793
Pick up a book, go excerise, maybe play a game. You need something that will lower your stress levels. I have some severe anxiety as well, I was able to overcome this by taking my mind of it through joyful activities. Playing video games helped me a lot. The ability to only be judged by your character and not your looks/life is a big bonus to gaming. I do warn you though, don't get addicted and don't use it as a complete substitute. I mean, it doesn't have to be video games anyway. Go exercise a lot,...
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>>17454797
>Should I continue trying to avoid her and focus on other things in hopes that I can eventually forget?
Absolutely. Your relationship with her is an obvious dead-end and it's only made you miserable. As for how to move on, I think the only real way is to get a new girlfriend to replace her in your mind. There is a huge amount of material online discussing how to do that, so there's not much point me trying to do it in one post; I don't have any special insights.


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What do you do when you're 23 and suddenly get this message from someone you've never met.
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>>17454785

When people are young and dumb they make mistakes and don't own up to them. Often it's having a kid and then not being in their lives. Then when they (the parent) get older, they reminisce about the past and realize that their life is pretty much a downwards spiral with no meaning, so what do they do? They contact their kid in some desperate effort to connect and bond because they feel lonely, irresponsible, and fearful of the end.

How did you turn out? Was your life tougher or shit because...
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>>17454785
If you feel any resentment towards hum, then pretend that you will let him into your life, but don't make too much of an effort to do so.

If you don't have anything against him, then I would recommend talking to him from time to time.
>>
>>17454819
You act like life is so simple and cut and dry. I'm not saying OPs father has an excuse, even with good context you never really have a decent excuse to abandon your child.

BUT, OP shouldn't be so closed off to something that could be a good thing if not closure for the bitterness that comes across in your post.

So..... Uhhhh... How does one hold conversations again? I literally don't know what to talk about when making small talk.
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Let's see what's going on in the world today...

>Olympics
>Football season started
>Baseball is almost to playoffs
>Weather is changing in everyones favor
>It's friday
>payday
>weekend on the horizon
>almost monday again
>long work week
>hillary...
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>>17454779
> Olympics
Who watches those lmao
> Football season started
> Baseball is almost to playoffs
Don't care about sports
> Weather is changing in everyones favor
"Nice wheater isn't it?"
"Yeah"
". . ."
> It's friday
Yes... Finally here...
> payday
Studying

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Food is a universal topic.

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where the doctors @????
i have work in about an hour, i cant put on a shirt because it hurts too fucking much. ive been applying aloe vera gel for a few hours and it hasnt gotten much better. is there anything i can put maybe under my shirt so it doesnt burn as much?
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No, you'll just have to suck it up.
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>>17454736
If you have some silk fabric, you could wear over the sunburn. Silk is super smooth so it may help, but it very well may not.
>>
You know ibuprofen works with sunburns right??

I don't know what to do anymore /adv/. I guess you can tell how desperate I am by asking the members of a Singaporean Basket Weaving Forum for life advice, but I just don't know anymore.
>Graduated this May
>Can't find work anywhere except for low paying construction work
>Thought I would be starting my life, but I feel like I hit a speed bump right out of the gates
>Like construction but work as a contractor will be risky if I go that route....
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Try to be an electrician or work in HVAC. Theyre similar to construction, but I'm pretty sure the pay is higher.
>>
>>17454831
Not to be a Debbie Downer buddy but a good number of my friends are in electrical and are hurting bad. Two gave up altogether while the other 2 are close to giving up as well.
>Will look at HVAC though.
Thanks
>>
Take the construction job if you think you'll like it. It's not permanent. My first job paid $8.25/hour. My second paid $9.25. My third $15. My fourth paid $40k/year. My fifth paid six figures.

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I know the difference between right and wrong but

>mom is feminist professor
>sex positive, says expressing sexuality is necessary to combat misogyny
>agree intellectually but hard to deal with
>mom embraces sex on campus
>everyone calls her MILF, big titty prof, etc
>have no evidence she's fucked any students
>has done many nude performance art...
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>>17454719

Shoot your father and have sex with your mother duuuuh. You think these nude performance art pieces are just random? She is trying to get the attention of the alpha male (you) so you can take out the beta male (your father) and then rule over the kingdom of the campus. What are you some kind of fag?
>>
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>>17454719
Tell her that you're all for sex positivity and all that shit, but that her flaunting her body around campus is severely impacting your state of mind and making your college life difficult.
If she can't get over it and stop for your sake, she might just be a complete bitch/ insatiably hungry for cock.
>>
Do nude art shows like she does.

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>Have been at college a week now
>made a few efforts to go out and meet people but it was such a drag I quit and haven't left my dorm today
Will I come to regret this?
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Yes. It will literally haunt you for the rest of your life and give you PTSD. There is no escape or cure. Sorry OP.
>>
Are you a freshman?
Depends. I've been in college for 3 years now and did the exact same thing as you my freshman year. Thought it was all stupid and not worth my time.
Haven't made a single friend the entire time I've been in school. It's next to impossible once everyone settles in with their own crowds. So if that existence doesn't bother you, then you'll be fine. If it does, then yeah you'll regret it.
>>
>>17454705
Let's all love Lain.

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I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for almost a year. She’s very sweet, considerate, both cognitively and emotionally intelligent, and incredibly devoted, but also insecure, clingy, needy, and a homebody.

Lately, I’ve been having intrusive and obsessive thoughts about women and starting new relationships.
>Ex. An old friend recently got back in touch, and she told me about how she got together with her boyfriend, and my heart was racing just from reading it. Then she tells me that she had a crush on me at the same time I did, and...
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*love her to death
>>
>>17454695
>Is it just ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome?
Pretty much. But people like you will always feel that way, no matter who you're with, until you realize how good you have it.

>What should I do? What should I say to her?
There's nothing to say that won't make this end in heartache and a broken relationship. These are thoughts and feelings that you need to figure out for yourself.

>I feel married....
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How's the sex life? Is she your first? Those can be contributing factors to feeling bored or like you're missing out.

I started dating my soon to he wife when I was 18 (going to be 22 in a few days). She's older (27) and had her early 20s to date (only one sexual relationship before me), so she worries about me feeling like you. She's always held the door open for me to explore sexually as long as I am open and honest about who it is and when it's happening (offered to join in too). It's not an open relationship per se because she has no...
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i'm currently undecided on where i want to go on college between Canada and Singapore
Canada:
-i would go to to either mcgill or ottawa
-i already have relatives there so it's easier to settle down there
-it's more interesting as a country and i assume it's degrees are well acknowledged internationally possibly more than Singapore's
however living expenses and tuition fees are very expensive
Singapore:
- i would go to NUS
-i can apply for tuition grant there
-it's citizenship is easier to get 2 years compared to Canada's...
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>>17454691
I know plenty of Canucks into law that found cushy jobs teaching at colleges, if that helps.

I'll honestly try to help more if you can take some time and feed me data:

Where are you leaving from?
What language(s) do you speak?
Which of the two cultures would you say you're most acclimated/used to?
How long is the program?
What is your financial situation?

Singapore is very multicultural, but so is Canada meaning both will give you a chance to experience alternate cultures.

I've...
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>>17455093
>supposedly you need government authorization to park your car in your own garage
I live in Montreal (where McGill is located) and have never heard of this. You do need a vignette to park on the street, tho.
>>
Where are you from?

Speaking as a Canadian, Canada's a pretty relaxed social climate. Singapore is anything but.

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this girl ive been talking to for almost 2 years texts me good morning and goodnight everyday for more than a year now... why? she said she liked me but that was a really long time ago.
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Go to her place now
Open her mouth
Insert your dick
DoitdoitdoitdoitDoitdoitdoitdoitDoitdoitdoitdoitDOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT
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>>17454685
Well, do you like her?
>>
She probably still likes you senpai. Have a heart to heart with her. Then a dick to mouth, dick to between titties, etc.

So how do you get over wanting to text and have conversations with a girl that you really like and will never be able to get with but she is your friend still. Like I have to fight myself everyday not to text her because I know it'll get annoying but I just want to forget about my feelings for her and move on. She is literally always in my thoughts and I just cant stop thinking about her.
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>>17454672
Bump
>>
>>17454672
Why can't you ever get with her?
>>
>>17454721
Lot of reasons
>Out of my league
>She's been in 4 relationships to my 0
>Dated one of my friends before
And alot more on top of that

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Long story short, I need a job that can support me AKA pay my rent, food and other expenses while I save up money to fix my credit and go to college. I currently work part time at a grocery store. I'm physically fit, pretty smart, capable of learning quick. What's the best job for me? I was thinking construction for starters, but I don't know.
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>>17454667
Warehousing, truck driving, oil (if available), and fishing will make you a ton of money and are aimed at people like you.
>>
>>17454709
I live on the East Coast. I know fishing is popular on the West Coast, not so sure about here. Gonna look for warehouses, should I google "warehouses near me" or is there a better way to find a warehouse gig?

Will also consider trucking, no oil nearby
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>>17454792
If you live on the coast then there's foshing available. I'm talking about spending months at sea, not just going to the docks everyday.

A good start is to look for Amazo warehouse since they're hiring the most and all you're doing is handling small stuff most of the time. You could try going to a temp agency/recruiter to see if they know of any warehousing gigs if you're having trouble. But that shouldn't be the case.

I'm not too familiar with trucking but I just...
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/adv/ please help me. I'm in a motel for only one more week, I have literally 28 cents to my name, my parents cut me off and no one is fucking hiring near me. I need money but I don't know what to do or where to start. I have some wifi in my room so I'm able to look for work online and I signed up for this online survey shit but it feels like all that's happening is I'm just signing up for more and more spam emails. I used to sell bars and weed but I can't even start doing that again because tfw not even $10 to my name. Help me I'm only 19...
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Bump
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No one ?
>>
How sexy are you on a scale of 1 - 10? You could start cam whoring.


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