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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 596. page
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aye bros. Need some general advice.

So I just got out of a pretty fucked up relationship and I basically hit tinder, okc, and pof and basically I started fucking this fat girl. Now when I say fat I mean fat; she's probably 5'8" and about 250lbs. But honestly, I don't even care right because the blow jobs are bomb and the pussy gets wet.

Any general advice on how to deal with fat girls? I don't want to date, I don't want to fall in love, I don't want the pressure of remembering anniversaries or birthdays and shit. I just want...
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"Keep them tame"?

Fat girls are still girls, OP.

If anything, just buy them a cheeseburger every once in a while to keep them happy, nigga, I don't know.
>>
Have you tried talking to her about this?
>>
Communicate. Say you want FWBs only.

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I like my gf of 2.5 years and she is about to move in with me. Though she has sex with me, its mostly because I want it and not her, and sexting or talking about sex is off the table throughout the relationship. So I used online dating sites to sext girls instead to get my pleasure in that area and never met any of them, at all. My gf came back on Saturday from an out of town thing and she was actually horny and wanting sex for pretty much the first time ever, we did it a few times which never ever happened. In the morning she was all distant and moody though, she looked through my phone and found my email, though I more believe she has access to my email because some things she mentioned that she saw were pretty old.

She believes me that I haven't met anyone, since she looked through my phone and I havent. But yet I'm offended that she looked through my stuff, early on we'd look through our phones but since it was a sign of distrust, we agreed to not look again. Frankly I'm also embarrassed about who I was sexting with recently too since they were married hags and dudes. Should I apologize for being so desperate on needing to sext or end it since now there is going to be distrust?
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just a matter of time until she'll stop having sex with you all together. and going through your phone is not cool, nor is it cool that you're so unhappy in your relationship that you have to sext with strangers.

i would say drop it from what you wrote here.
>>
Don't be offended that she looked. You're only offended because you were sexting (emotionally cheating) with other girls.

I would end it because the relationship probably will not be the same.
>>
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Funny... I just started looking into kik- sort of to explore without intending on acting on it. Just like browse and prod and see if it responds.
Are you me, from the future?

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I'm done with people. I'm just sick and tired of it. Dates, "friends", fuck buddies, girls who you actually are attracted to who want nothing to do with you, apathetic coworkers, aging distant parents, constantly being let down, I'm just fucking tired of this shit. I've already defriended everyone I know on Facebook and deleted it. I'm thinking of getting rid of my smartphone but it does have utility for getting around and for work.

"Try your best"
"Dude you're awesome (lie)"
"Let's just be friends"
"What...
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humans are social animals, we need socializing on a regular basis to remain sane and healthy.

other than that I have no advice for you because I'm in a similar situation.
>>
It's not solitude if there's no human interaction to balance it out. It's just being alone, all the time. After a while that will more than likely drive you nuts. And there's no one to help if shit goes bad.
>>
>I just deleted all my facebook shit

Man I haven't seriously used facebook in years. Well to non-normie level one.

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Hey /adv/. I want to be an accountant. I was wondering what qualifications and other requirements are needed to achieve a career like this?
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>study accounting
>be good at it
>have no problem with a fucking boring job
There you go
>>
It varies country to country, and even state to state. As a general rule of thumb, in the US. you could've sat for the CPA (to become an 'accountant') with any Bachelor's degree. I believe, they tightened the restrictions recently, and now you have to have relevant business experience/internships before sitting for it. best bet is to major in accounting, as it will provide you the best background in knowledge for licensure, although any bachelor's, particularly in business/math, will work

tl;dr get 4 year degree and study for an exam.*
>>
undergrad degree in business/commerce and then you need to pass a professional exam

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Hello /adv/ I have very strong math/physics skills and was wondering if electrical engineering is a good degree to study. Anyone have experience with it? Live in Australia btw.
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>>17445773
If you hate free time and having any sort of social life, and you love money and looking down on non-STEM people, it's a great degree, yes.
>>
>>17445773
>strong math/physics skills
>Not having a degree yet

How old are you bub?
>>
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>>17446020
This except you have CLOSE friends instead of "friends" (i.e. people you go to parties with and get drunk and fuck eachother's girlfriends)

>>17446037
also curious

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>dating girl
>find out she was dating someone else
>we get into a big fight and I end things
>months later, we start talking again
>notice that she's still into me
>the other guy is not in the picture anymore
>mutual friends say she stopped dating him because she likes me
>still into her, BUT
>been...
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>>17445756

leave old girl, go for new girl.
>>
>mutual friends say she stopped dating him because she likes me
lol complete lie.

Go with the new girl. Old girl will drop you the moment she finds something shinier.
>>
New girl always.

Stick old girl in the bin.

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So my girlfriend has a hairy pussy. I much prefer clean-shaven, and when we were first going out that's all she did. Wasn't even a matter of request, she just always had it clean shaven. When we moved in together, she pretty much stopped shaving altogether and it turns me off a bit. We've talked about it and she shaved a while ago, though didn't shave bald, she left most of it. But that's probably grown back by now.

I miss her old, smooth pussy and want to try and convince her to get a Brazilian wax to make EVERYTHING smooth. Any ideas on how I could do this?
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>>17445740

tell her you really like it, and ask her if it feels uncomfortable or just takes too much time to hassle with.

then based on that, barter with her. relationships are a give and take. say you love it and if she did it you'd be willing to reciprocate in some way.
>>
Same exact thing happened with my gf. Guess what, women don't give a fuck about your preferences. The pussy is a tool, not a toy. The tool did it's job, now she can retire it.
>>
Hairy pussy = comfy mode. leave her be.

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Hello, I made a huge mistake.
I accidentally emailed my suicide letter to about 10 people, including family members. I meant to save it as a draft but I clicked send out of habit, and now I'm getting emails and phone calls like crazy. I hadn't planned on doing it for another week, so should I just do it now before one of them comes over
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>>17445729

you imbecile, don't and try and work things out, now tyat you've called for help.

You didn't do it wittingly but you did, now give life a try.
>>
Can you post a copy here?
>>
>>17445736
It's got a lot of personal info about family members and I don't feel comfortable posting that here. Otherwise I would.
In short, it was just apologizing for all the inconvenience that it would cause, to not mourn me and to not hold a funeral.

06 Chevy Silverado
No financial help from parents or anyone else

>Guy working on truck dropped something in engine (worked under the table)
>Engine for truck is completely seized
>Will cost 4k for used engine + labor
>Full time engineering student
>Other school commitments
>Taking out first student loan
>Loan was supposed to be for a trailer to live in to save money
>Can't take any time off due to previous 1 year commitment to school programs for leadership experience

Do I have any other options? I commute 2+ hours a day for my school

Should I just buy a bus and convert it, and sell my truck for whatever I could get? Or fix truck?

Any advice would be appreciated

>Kinda feel like shooting myself
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I'd talk to a lawyer honestly. If he works under the table threatening to report him to the IRS for an audit should scare the fucking piss out of him. He should make things right with you.

Also in the exact same boat, except my truck runs. If there is anything else you need help with let me know. Especially if you're in TN.
>>
>>17445717

Do you owe anything on the truck?

It could be a long, difficult process to get anything at all from the mechanic regardless of the fact that it was under the table.

Why is your commute so far? And why are you buying a trailer? You might want to consider just using the money for an apartment close to campus if you don't have a job that's keeping you in your area.

Honestly a trailer isn't a great investment, particularly if you aren't getting property with it.
>>
>Kinda feel like shooting myself

Join the military and let them pay for school. Instant career with huge future career potential if you choose wisely. Do not join the Army. Do get into aviation.
Do get into LONG TERM aviation programs for career stability. UAS or heavy airlift is best, but I enjoyed fixing fighters.

Wanting a redneck truck is stupid when you are not a mechanic, so become one on the side.There is ZERO excuse for an engineer who can't work on everything they can design. Engineers who know the true tactile experience...
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>colonoscopy tomorrow
>prep medications make me so nauseous that i vomit
>cant miss this test tomorrow
>??? natural way to clean colon ???
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>>17445710
enema??? call to the pharmacy and fucking ask there? jesus how old are you
>>
>>17445710
Hose up anus
>>
>>17445710
Give yourself an enema with some sort of lube, that works much better than water.

WD40 works every time, for me.

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im writing a series who's main focus is the temporary nature of relationsihps.

for this ive established three major relationships for the main character
>his romantic relationship
>his friendship
>and his mentor

what are more specific relationships i could explore with side characters. the first that comes to mind is siblings, anything else?
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>the first that comes to mind is siblings
Sibling incest?

FUND IT
>>
>>17445694

>never mentioned anything remotely close to incest
>brings up incest

why tho
>>
Seriously? Think about relationships in your own life. Siblings, parents, workmates, boss, friends of friends, acquaintances, ex, childhood friend, an old enemy from school, someone who works in a shop or food outlet that they frequent etc.

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How do you stay calm/relax?

How do you keep a cool head in stressful situations?

I am always freaking out over things how do you people do it?
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>>17445676

time and practice. it starts by realizing after the fact, that you could have had a cooler head. then slowly you see it happening and force yourself ot leave. then later you dont even ahve to leave. you can just internalize it.

it helps to have an outlet at home. i like to just go home and yell.
>>
>>17445679
You can do that, OP, or just smoke some weed or take pills.
>>
>>17445676
focus on breathing. long, deep breaths, followed by long exhales and a long pause between them.

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I lost nearly everyone in my life because I sexually assaulted two girls while very, very drunk. How do I deal with this crushing feeling of loss? This happened 5 years ago, and I'm functional, but sometimes I feel helpless and get really anxious that it will catch up to me and I'll lose everyone again. I also feel really, really horribly that I did it. I don't get drunk anymore, and have done everything I can to make myself into a better person.

Does anyone have any sort of experience with this? Any advice would be appreciated. Or if you want to tell me...
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>>17445640
yes you are a piece of shit. did you just molested them or did you raped them?
>>
I groped the first one's breasts in front of everyone. I made out with and fingered the second one on the front lawn of a party. She was fondling me, so I thought she was into it, but later she said I raped her. I was out of my mind so I really don't know exactly what happened.
>>
>>17445640

You got any charges for it? If you're not on a register of any kind you're fine, just move out and live a new life. Not easy by any means - I would not like to be in your position.

But tell me, were you depressed before this? Were you a wreck or in a bad state?
If you were take this as a chance to go live a new life, and leave your old one behind. Follow some dreams and grab life by the balls and make it give you what you want. Not many successful people are inherently good people anyway.

You...
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What are the drawbacks to dating the kind of woman who considers 15,000+ watches and pens cheap, important necessities? The kind who refuses to buy cheaper versions.
Especially if you live on a tight budget.
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Are you serious?
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>>17445647

meant $15,000+. Yes, serious.
>>
>>17445639
The fact that she's a heartless gold digging whore.

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I got cavities. I brush and floss and use mouthwash everyday, but nature hates me I guess.
I dont have dental insurance. Last time I went to the dentist, it was super expensive just to deal with one tooth.
My teeth are starting to hurt and I dont know how Im going to get this taken care of.
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>>17445591
you got them because you do it everyday. you are not supposed to scratch your teeth every day unless is one time a day.

you have to pay for them now before something worse happens or if they spread.

maybe you were just wired for them
I never got a cavity and I brush once a day.
>>
>>17445591

my brother has the same issue, meanwhile im fine. he admittedly took better care of his teeth than i did, however he was more inclined to drink a soda or chew gum, which are apparently easy ways to get cavities no matter how well you clean.

even through a straw, soda has so much shit in it that it weakens teeth. i drink soda like once a week at most.

either way, go get it fixed. expensive but kinda worth it.
>>
>>17445601
yea i think its genetics. Got some people in the family who brush and lose all their teeth then others who dont brush and smoke, yet have strong white teeth. I think dentist said something about unusual high acid level in my saliva, which sounds cool but sucks.

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My girlfriend recently complained about my armpits hair, and i thought since she shaves almost all of her body for me, i could shave my armpits for her.
I wanted to sirprise her, and i actually did shave my armpits. It was okay for first wo days, but then my armpits got itchy as fuck. Is this supposed to happen? Can i do something about this? It's driving me crazy.
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Hair is part of what makes a man a man
>t. someone who hasn't shaved any part of their body in over a year
>>
>>17445531
I don't necessarly agree with this but i didn't mind my hair most of my life. Now i've made a mistake and my armpits are itching as fuck. Help me.
>>
>>17445523
They'll stop eventually.

Closeted bisexual.

I kinda jokingly flirt with this guy at work everyday. We're kinda touchy feely, i slap his ass or squeeze his bicep. He does the same here and there. He sends me these shirtless snaps and definitely has an ego which i like, he talks about how big his dick is and blah blah. But he also fucks a lot of women. How do i kinda push it tht i wanna hook up, like we've drank and smoked together and i got like touchy, he stayed in my room even tho he could of stayed with friends in another room...help?
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>>17445506

get really drunk again. and/or really high.

then simply make a move.

if what you're raelly looking for is
>how do i find out if he wants to bang without any consequences if he doesnt

then you are shit out of luck, every thing comes with a price. this risk is yours.

i wouldnt worry about it anyways. get drunk or high enough and it sounds like he'd be comfortable just playing it off as 'lol you got so drunk you faggot'.

sounds to me like you guys are ripe for jerking off tho.

similar experience with me recently and it sgone great.

if you want to push the limit next time he claims he has a big dick just say 'prove it'
>>
>>17445506
>closet bisexual

Sound more like a repressed fag.
>>
>>17445551

does it really matter at this point? he wants to have sex with another dude, and he wants to keep it private. if he is repressed he'll figure it out after some male bonding.

some people are destined to be closeted or even unaware they are gay for their entire lives, stop acting like they're wrong for it.

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>feel somewhat fearful of my father due to his spontaneous bursts of anger when something goes wrong
>he's a great dad and I know it would break his heart if I opened up about the fact that I'm always nervous around him due to his anger problems
>he's never laid a hand on me, so I don't know why I'm so cautious and nervous around him
>always trying to please him so he won't get angry
>he got so...
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>>17445452
>dad never laid a hand on me
>I started a fight with him
>I am afraid of him
>>
>>17445473
Well, I'm not really 'afraid' of him, just a bit nervous.

Yes, and I started the fight. But he never physically abused me. He's a good father with some anger problems.

He acknowledges his anger problems but I don't think he realises how much it has affected me mentally.
>>
>How do I get the balls to tell him that I'm sick of the outbursts now that I'm 18, though?

You don't. Play the game and get out of the house. Find a career that takes you away from his toxic ass forever. Don't warn him! Violent narcissists freak out.

Plan to save yourself, then save yourself.

>>he's a great dad and I know it would break his heart if I opened up about the fact that I'm always nervous around him due to his anger problems

Bullshit. People...
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I am honestly having immense difficulty communicating with women in a more than friends manner.

I am a very respectful person, I respect privacy, space and feelings. The problem? You basically have to disrespect women in order to even get them to pay attention to you. Am I wrong? My friends have explicitly told me that women probably see right through me because I care too much. In the sense that I don't do anything without asking them first.

For example, I won't hold a girls hand unless I ask and she says yes. I will never "just do it". Why?...
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You are missing the wrong girl.
>>
>>17445470

What?

I wish I could find the right girl I guess.

I know the world is almost 50 percent men and 50 percent women but it honestly feels like dudes out number women. Most women my age are taken or not looking.
>>
>>17445438

>holding the hand of a woman you're getting vibes from is 'disrespect'

you are so delusional it hurts. but lets play along

>whati f she doesn't want me holding her hand.

then she will say so. or she will remove her hand. or she will put up with it for whatever date she agreed to go on (because you have no reason to be holding her hand if oyu didnt ask her on a date) and then just not talk to you later.

her...
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My boyfriend cheated on me after 5 years and broke my heart. I stopped loving him because that wasn't the person I love anymore, but felt soo much hatred that I swore to myself I would hurt him 10x more than he hurt me.

I did it, cheated on him and broke up with him. He was heartbroken and wanted me back.
I'm in another happy relationship now.

So... how to deal with the guilt and forever being branded a cheater? :D
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
By realizing you were an idiot to let anger control you.
>>
Lmao this is hundreds of thousands of years of natural selection and many more thousands of society hard at work.

Pack it up people we need humanity to go extinct because the dumb people(aka us) have outbred the newtons and platons of the world.
>>
>>17445441
Speak 4 urself nerd.

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Basically my supervisor must take some sort of pity on either me or her son. I generally show up looking and feeling depressed to work but still get my job done, make conversation & laugh, etc. One day she asked if I played tennis because her son did, I said I could go for a game of tennis and agreed to meet him (I'm pretty lonely, I moved to a new state a few months ago and don't know anyone).

Somehow it got turned into my supervisor inviting me over for dinner last week, which I turned down because I genuinely was busy. Today my supervisor texts me asking again if I could do dinner this weekend and that I got to pick whatever day works best for me. Honestly, I don't know how comfortable I feel about it. They're a bit of a large "redneck" every-Sunday Christian family, while I smoke large amounts of weed, go to concerts, and read poetry.

But I don't really know how to tell my supervisor that I don't really want to. I can't keep making excuses because I see her at work 5 days a week.

tl;dr I don't want to hang out with my supervisor's family and don't know how to break it to her.
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>>17445381
Bump. It's been an hour since she texted me and I need to go to sleep for work tomorrow ;_;
>>
Lol. Just say "thanks but no thanks" or something to that effect.
"I appreciate your kindness but I'm not really up for it" might be a bit better. If she asks why... then youre fucked!

Don't blow off the tennis game, however.
>>
>>17445381

do it once. if its not a good match, she will see it. but its easy to come up wiht a consistent excuse

>oh i got a gf and see her every saturday
or even
>i go out to eat with my family on saturday, early to bed sunday, etc)

i wouldnt worry. she just wants to see what happens

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Is it possible for a 5/10 looking 5.8 manlet to dick a 9/10? Because Goddamnit i might as well die a virgin if i can't get the best. That's my fucking nature.
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>>17445340
Michael? Go to sleep you moron.
>>
Not with that attitude
>>
>>17445343
Nah
>>17445344
Why? Aren't girls into determined people and shit?

I know the point of my life is to suffer so that others can do well. I have no self worth and I don't have any right to be alive when so many good people die.

I hate that this is reality, how can I better come to terms with the fact that I am a loser and will always be one?
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>I know the point of my life is to suffer
Change this philosophy and your life will improve tenfold.
>>
>>17445448
Think about it this way, there are billions of people in the world, there can't be a place for everyone. Some people have to be nothing so that others can be something.
>>
>>17445453

you live in a comfy enough place with a roof over your head, more food than you shoudl be allowed to eat, and an internet connection that lets you shit post on a okinawan boi pucci rating pictograph forum.

all those kids in africa and china and god knows where else are suffering so that you can enjoy your life.

and yet many of them still manage to enjoy their life of lice and mosquitos and sleeping in piles on each other.

stop acting like the universe is purposely conspiring against you so...
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Help me /adv/. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and recently found out that a proposal is imminent. I love him and nearly everything about him, but I've never been able to fully get passed the fact that he has a really small penis (maybe 3.5-4.5 inches). Like, normal sized condoms fall off of it. It's really affecting our love life and I haven't been that interested in having sex with him for a while now. When we do have sex, I don't face him so he doesn't have to see my bored facial expressions and I think about fucking other guys the...
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>>
3/10
You had me until
>I don't face him so he doesn't have to see my bored facial expressions
Try again
>>
Quit being a slut
If I were dating you I'd treat you like an object with my 6.5 inch cock, I wouldn't let you breathe during sex, if you act like a whore you should be treated like one.
>>
>>17445345
6.5? kek

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/adv/ I spent some time away from work (a job I used to enjoy) and came back to find my friend had been fired and some jackass now basically runs the place since unlike myself and most of the people who work (or used to work) at the establishment, he isn't a fucking student, he's brain dead and this is now his full time job.

In the day I worked there (before going back home again for another two weeks) I found out the guy could only listen to top 40 shit (we all used to listen to Radio 5 which would play some really cool and out there shit) and declared that...
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>>17445313
nice pic....miles xD kek
>>
sorry this post needs an editor so fucking bad

>>17445318
One of the two reaction images I have saved so savour it
Also his name is Tails fuck
>>
>>17445334
His name is Miles, you poser

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I've got my first ever job tomorrow.
I'm 19, and it's a part time job at a grocery store, but I'm nervous.
How do I deal with it? Do I see if I can push it back? There's manual labor required and I'm in the worst shape (not fat, severely underweight and weak)
I know it's natural to be nervous at a new job so how do you deal with it
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Dress well but not overly so. You don't need a suit to work at a grocery store.
They'll ask you some questions about the job or responsibilities, like do you cook, do you know fruits and shit, are you fine doing physical labor, etc etc

Just answer honestly, but NEVER put yourself in a negative. Never ever ever. If you don't know or have no experience, just say so but follow with "but I'm always happy to learn"
>>
>There's manual labor
It's just gonna be moving groceries and shit around.
>>
>>17445324
They said up to 50 lbs of stuff.
I can lift that but multiple times a day? I don't have the endurance for that

List things that prevent sleepiness, please.
>cold showers
>loud music
>caffeine
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>>
Amphetamines.
>>
trolls and stalkers can prevent sleep pretty well.
>>
>>17445304

>sleep
>extended periods of blue light/natural light exposure
>heavy amounts of cough syrup prevent sleepiness around 10 hours after being taken
>constant, light excercise to keep heart beating
>drinking large amounts of water throughout the day
>the guilt of all the disney staff you murdered, whether they truly deserved it,...
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Got a girl pregnant, she only has my first name and a Google Voice number. Won't get an abortion. If I run will she find me?
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>>17445174
Google voice? Whatever it I delete it NOW. Rare name and small town? If so MOVE you do not want to let her ruin your life it's her choice to keep it.
>>
Good job, OP

You're a nigger
>>
>>17445174
Just tell her you're
>suicidal
>too poor to raise the kid
>have a lawyer uncle who'll fight her in court if she demands pay for the kid

if you make yourself sound unappealing af she wont think the baby is worth the effort

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why does this piss me off so much?

>got a call from my mom at 10 pm
>she tells me to look up some documentary about some kid who went into a coma due to a skateboarding accident
>i ask why
>'so you'll learn about safety'
> i hang up

I have no idea why this pissed me off so much i ended up destroying a ps4 controller, computer mouse and threw shit all over the living room and even started...
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>>17445145
>why does this piss me off so much?
Because you're an angsty teenager who has anger issues.
>>
First of all, your mother obviously didn't love you.
Second, you have major anger issues.

You obviously have problems getting women and have to vent due to it.

TLDR: You already know the answer senpai.
>>
>>17445159
Im 21 and mild mannered.

Something about this just set me off out of nowhere, like some sort of linguistical virus...

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>Be me.
IT, Automation, Electrical experience.

I want to work in the oil platforms in the middle of the sea, USA, Mexitacos, Iraq, Alaska? or even in fucking Nigeria? No problem, bring it.
Yes I would be working for the money, but I'm also really fascinated by the machines, automation, danger, remoteness, etc.

My problem is that all the websites I go to check for this kind of jobs, I need to be a rocket scientist with 20 years experience.

How do you anons earning 5k/week find this kind jobs?
When I read some of...
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what is networking?
>>
>>17445133
You have to know someone, I had one dumb ass Serbian classmate work in the UAE because his father's engineering buddy needed someone. The field was instrumentation which is a combination of all those three you mentioned.
>>
Really? That's so fucking unfair... not that surprises me though...

Let's see if I find a rich Arab willing to "network" with me on linkedin... fml


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