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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6. page
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Sometimes I feel like I am so close to a boiling point and want nothing more than to punch a wall until I break my hand-I feel like I have so much pent-up anger... how do I ''let go'' of it?
How do I stay calm in situations instead of getting enraged?
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>>17849090
do internet search for "anger management"

start clicking & reading
>>
what gets you to that point?
>>
>>17849102

pretty much anything, a snide remark, an act, I don't feel it coming until the point when I want to close myself into a padded room and do whatever to let my anger out

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I still miss her

I've got a new GF and she's... nice?

She's pretty, she always wants sex, she'll put up with absolutely anything and still love me and care for me and do anything for me.

But she's not her.

And i fucking hate myself for that.
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>>
It honestly just takes time. Try to separate yourself from the memory of "her"; don't go to places the two of you went together, watch and listen to new stuff, and spend time with yourself as well as your friends and new girlfriend.
Also, of course your new GF isn't "her". She's her own different person. Enjoy her for her differences.
>>
why was the ex gf so special?

how long ago did you break up? you probably just need time
>>
>>17849113
She was my first 'real' girlfriend.

I was a hippy freelove kind of guy, and was stupendously lucky to meet a few girls (and a guy at one point) that actually understood that.

Then i met her, she was hot as fuck, unbeleivably mental and good in bed, and we just clicked from day one. She got really upset when i told her i had slept with someone else after we first fucked - even though i told her that was what i did, and she said it was okay.
So i thought, why not? and agreed and did the...
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I'm in a bit of a dilemma /a/

My cute, older, but probably fujoshit cousin picked up my phone and accidentally unlocked it while I had pic related open as a page.

I don't know if she saw, what do I do?
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>>17849003
>Not putting a proper lock in your phone.
Unless she knows what "nee" means she probably thinks you're into weird cartoon porn.
>>
It doesnt matter if she saw it or not. Best course of action is to act cool.

Who gives a fuck if she saw your degenerate porn? Its not like she will tell your family that you fap to chinese drawn siscon
>>
>>17849005
Also hope she didnt read the fine print

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some...
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Boyfriend doesn't want me to do Xanax.
I don't do it often it's been like 2 months since I last did it.no addiction problems. I just want to do it on Saturday to sleep my day away. Don't judge it's my only day off and I enjoy . wasting it all on sleep. No regrets.
My question is
> should my boyfriend have a right to tell me to not to Xanax.I feel it's kind of controlling.
It could be weed or Adderall and he wouldn't care. So no he's not against drugs just Xanax..
>>
Should I take a girl being "touchy" with me as flirty?

Long story short, I'm in a female dominated grad program, and this girl is always really touchy with me
>>
PARANOID GIRL, let's compare our paranoia:
Are you /g/eek?
Do you have a tinfoil hat?
Do you put true info on the botnet (Google, Facebook, MS, etc.)?
Do you encrypt your phone and computer?

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Would a smartphone be a one-in-all solution to all of my daily needs, or could I have some use of a laptop occasionally?

>40 hours/week at work, a lot of downtime where i'm free to listen to music or watch an episode or two of some show
>don't really have any hobbies, just listen to music, watch a series, exercise/lift, sometimes i draw/sketch, and i'm not really interested in seeing people
>eat at some point, shower, go to bed, repeat
I'm currently looking...
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Well pretty much everything you mentioned is possible but would completely fucking blow a far as ease of use on the phone. Also phones generally go into a pocket and will silently be irradiating your gonads making you sterile and giving you prostate cancer. You will become addicted to it too because of the how convenient it will be to pull it out of your pocket. tl;dr just use your fucking laptop and dont waste your money on stupid plastic bullshit like everyone else.
>>
You can do most things on a cellphone, but it's a heck of a lot easier and faster on a computer of some sort. If all you need a laptop for is to write a CV, then why not use public library computers or something?

> it seems to be a hassle to carry it around
You don't HAVE to carry it around
>>
>>17849001
Whoa what. Has that actually ever happened, with sterility and cancer and shit?
I already have the phone though, I just don't use it for everything right now because I sit by my PC all day after work. Thing is, I want to quit sitting at my PC all day and experience living again instead.

>>17849041
Oh, good point about a public computer. Just gotta set up a Dropbox (or something better) again then.
>You don't HAVE to...
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Me and a girl were dating for a few months. She did some pretty hurtful things and broke it off (I think she was expecting me to try to make it work) but I left it as it is and immediately went no-contact.

How long until someone realizes you aren't going to call them?

>If anything I just want an apology so I can stop being so mad at her
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I want to give you advice on this, but at the same time I don't.

Live life man.
>>
>>17848981
how often did you 2 call each other before this ?

otherwise i'm guessing she will clue in after 1 week or so
>>
>>17848989
What?

>>17848990
She would eat lunch with me for about 10-15 minutes but that's about it (we're both college students), other wise we'd hang out once a week or every other week.

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I have 3 years of experience in SAP functional consulting but now I'm thinking of shifting to data analytics considering the opportunities in that area. But this would mean that I must start my career from scratch and learn everything by myself. Any suggestions if I should continue with sap and move into sap analytics (but I'll be restricted to only one vendor)
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>>17848977
Interesting OP we study many different modules of SAP in school (BBA in Management Information Systems). As I'm still in school and a year from graduating my advice may not be worth much. I say go for it if its what you want to do. I don't blame you for wanting to get away from SAP.

Got any advice you'd like to share for those with similar paths as you?
>>
>>17848977
maybe check some job boards to see what kinds of jobs are posted ?

do a search & see how many job listings returned for SAP vs analytics ?

and why change anyway ? bored ? not enough $$ ?

maybe learn analytics on your own time, keeping current job and transfer or get some new tasks ?

and why now ? why not stay with SAP another few years and then change?
>>
>>17848988

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>nail a job interview after 2 grueling years of being neet
>they want to drug test me
>slightly panicked about the amount of weed I smoke

Yes I know I should have waited. Considering having a friend donate their pee for this noble cause, but we're still figuring out the tactics.
Any help on figuring that out would be helpful.

But also, what's the worst thing that could happen? I just don't get the job, right? Would it "black ball" me from...
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>>17848975
Buy vial, like a smaller thinner graduated cylinder.
Day before drug test, have clean friend piss into it.
Tape it to the inside of your leg, where your underwear covers it.
Use it when you have to fill up the cup.
>>
Drink a lot of water, and I mean a lot, like at least 1 gallon a day.

Good luck.
>>
>>17849052
>pissing clear
>having an asshole tech flag it

Yeah no. OP just either get a friend's piss or get some synthetic. Make sure to keep it warm, around 98 degrees F. It's crucial the urine be warm. Usually less than like 93 or 95 will draw red flags, over 100 the same.

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Background:
I have an abusive father that i finally cut contact with. My mom got cancer. Its a tough time, but on top of that, i discovered im almost alone. It makes me really depressed.

Im usually very positive and high energy, always with people around me, friends and family alike.
I can make contact very easily. When I'm at the gym or just outside whatever. With guys and girls. I tried dating and can easily attract women. But im religious and have experienced that i would need a religious wife to be happy. So ill be patient untill i find her. And im not...
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Buuump
>>
>>17848968
the best way to make a true friend is to have a common goal and experience.

When you look at military men, they're deeply loyal and close to their platoons. Not just because they went through bootcamp together, but they shared the battle experience and probably had the same struggles in life: death of a fellow soldier, regret for killing someone, joy of winning a battle, etc.

If you want a real friend, try creating a goal for yourself and attach yourself to people with that shared goal. The true...
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>>17849361
Yeah youre right!

Thanks for clarifying the obvious. Its good to hear it clear.

Im going to try connect with people with common goals, and let them take initiative also.

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Ok, my time for a story now...

> my early twenties
> trying college for a second time
> my problem is everytime I make a decision I start to reconsider it and start bitching myself about not trying something different
> end up having literally no motivation to finish anything in life about school
> I hate doing one and only stuff around and around which is pretty the only thing college is about
>...
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>>17848949
lol you fucking idiot a degree doesnt mean shit anymore. You are literally wasting your time and (parents) resources trying to go to college. It's likely you were pressured and manipulated into going in the first place.You are even guaranteed a fucking job when you get out and you will be paying that shit off for the next fucking 20 years. Welcome to indentured servitude.
>>
>>17848949
Im a jack of all trades, I have like 20+ hobbies which im interested in and could use some of them as carreers but I just chose biochemistry because it was my biggest interest. You can choose one think and quench your thirst for other things.
>>
>>17848957
I don't pay anything, free college here

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Kissless 24 y/o virgin here, planning to get a Hooker next weekend
What are some things I need to know?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17848925
Use condom
Realize your fantasies
??
Profit!

What do you want to know?
>>
Realize sex is shit.

And you really long for love and someone that adores you, wants to be with you.


Dont do it, its a big mistike. Your dick and society has fooled you.

Source: ive been through your position.
>>
>>17848992
Well offcourse i mean, sex is good. But shit compared to real love. Being wanted, bond together :)

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My borderline gf's started taking anti-depressants, prescribed to her. It's a big leap for her, and I know she's trying her best to stop being a cunt. Despite this I want to break up with her now, but I feel like I should be giving her this chance to change and support her through starting pills, as she can't even tell her parents without them reacting badly.
What do I do? I'm tired of being selfless and not selfish despite her treating me like shit, and all I want to do is end it, but I've got a lil voice in the back of my head telling me that...
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>>17848871
i'd say give her a few weeks for the pills to kick in and see if she chills out

if she was prescribed anti-deps the docs think she really needs it, so there you have it

yes depression makes people irritable etc

poke around here - nami.org

good luck !
>>
Borderline personality disorder isn't something triggered by depression. It's classified as a personality disorder which is distinctly different from a mental illness. Medication can't fix BPD, anyone who has any credibility would tell you that. Do you live in a state where only MDs can prescribe drugs? I'm assuming this doctor wasn't a psychiatrist. He is just a pill pusher. My girlfriend was prescribed Lexapro by her doctor because she gets a little moody around her time of the month.

I'm rambling, but point being medication doesn't...
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>>17848904
That's fucked
How is she on lexipro

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Was reading that other thread before. I'm seriously considering becoming a pot dealer. I could only trade in 50s to keep my profile down and I could easily make 500 bux a week.

I'm thinking of getting a dumb phone and a prepaid sim

Is it worth the hassle for the couple hundred extra dollars?
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No
Ppl bug u and you meet some shady ass ppl

Just get a job delivering pizza if you need the cash

I did it because my friend got me into it working with him and I mostly did it for the rush
>>
You're not gonna make anywhere near that unless for some strange reason your town has a lot of smokers, and suppliers, but very few street level dealers. Being a drug dealer pays fuck all, and you have to deal with idiots who constantly wanna match, get freebies, get special deals, and if you deal with minorities you will eventually get robbed, guaranteed.

Just get a job instead of risking your life and future for chump change.
>>
The problem with being a dealer, is that there's just so many of them.

At my current moment, I've got 3 reliable, good dealers I can go to for any amount of weed.

And, I consistently jump between two of them depending on how involved I want to be in the transaction.

It's like, pizza hut, dominos, and papa johns all on speed dial, ya know?

You gotta have a lot of different clients, because we jump around, and you gotta have consistently good product at standard/low pricing.

If you don't deliver, your business will be shit.

If...
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How do you go "friendship first" with a guy? How do you make friends with someone before he starts pressuring you for sex?
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you dont, you absolute moron. your friends are your friends, the person you want to sleep with is not your friend, they are your (potential) lover. lovers are not friends, there is an inherent exclusivity.
>>
>>17848827
But how am I supposed to feel comfortable with someone I'm not comfortable with?
>>
Yea don't be friends. Just be up front
>I'm romantically interested in you, but I want to postpone a sexual relationship until we know each other really well.

My dick would be diamonds if a girl said this to me. But if a girl said that and we were still together with no sex after 4 - 6 months I'd assume she was using me as her beta bux and was fucking a chad.

With relationships you gotta tell people what you want

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>meet this qt black girl last semester
>keep in touch as friends, hang out every once in a while
>we started "talking" a month or so ago
>at my apartment 4 days ago
>start getting frisky
>she starts blowing me
>its normal until she starts saying super racial shit
>"fuck yeah lemme worship that white cock like a fukkin slave"
>laying there super uncomfortable
>finish
>get her put of my house as politely as possible
thing is weve hooked up before and she never talked about race at all, does she feel more comfortable opening up her kink to me now? how do i tell her it kinda throws me off?
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>>17848801
Just tell her. But to be honest, if there's something there then you both should feel acceptable of each other's feeling towards sexualized satisfaction.
>>
Thats like a common kink for nigresses. Being dominated by white dudes and have the hope one would pick them up. According to them, being with a white guy elevate their status
>>
>>17848801
She's probably only into you for this specific reason like girls crave the bbc
Especially if she would say that shit this early in the relationship, she's been thinking about this for a while op

This is a fantasy of mine so I suggest you use a plantation accent, put a leash on her while commanding her to do chores around the house while giving her intermittent white master cock sessions
Give her a slave name while you're at it
Watch 12 years a slave to get an idea of how to treat her

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Hello very simple question but I don't know where to ask.

I was employed for a day but things weren't really working out so I no longer work there anymore. I wonder why they didn't give me a trial day instead of hiring me straight up. Anyway they are required to pay me for the 10 hours I worked, correct? They have my tax number and bank details
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>>17848740
Yea they'll send you a check or sometimes they make you pick it up
>>
yes, you worked those hours even if you were shit at them
you'll get your check either 2 weeks from now or the end of the month
>>
>>17848744
>>17848749
Okay cool I wasn't sure if they were required to pay you or not. Anyway don't work shit jobs, they're more trouble then they're worth

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My brother shot and killed himself last week. He was only 24.

I'm 33 and it has really devastated me that my youngest brother died before me. An my parents are a wreck. Our mom even quit her job

I'm obviously still devastated and kind of in disbelief. Like this isn't real and I'm just going to wake up. I just saw him 2 weeks ago. It just doesn't seem real to me

I also don't know what to think....

He had some issues from PTSD and I know it affected his ability to live a normal life.

So on one side I can kinda...
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>>
Some people don't want to live.

Can't expect them to keep going about their shitty lives just to please you all.
>>
Well...
At least your brother gave life his best shot
>>
>>17848734
I agree. It's his life.

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Haven't posted on this board before so I have no idea if it's even the right one to post in, but I just need someone to hear me out at least. I'm currently in med school and I just had a complete meltdown. I just thrashed my whole room for like 2 minutes straight. I don't know what to do anymore. Finals are coming up in 3 days and I am completely behind on every subject. It's not like I didn't study, no matter how much I studied it was never enough to keep up with the rest of the people. I only lived in Norway for about 2 years now and the language...
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Going to med school in a country where you are fluent in the language would be a great idea. Idk man, not much else I can tell you. What did you think would happen?

Also, if you don't plan on staying in Norway and practicing medicine and paying taxes in exchange for your subsidized or even free education you are a carpet bagger who deserves to fail.
>>
>>17848695
Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get...
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>>17848714
Wasn't my choice to study here. My parents moved here so I had to come with as a minor. They don't make that much money to send me abroad to study so this really was the best option. I got good grades in Norwegian highschool but the difficulty leap in language and how much I had to read was way too large. Just felt I was kinda doomed to screw up from the start. I plan on working and living here and am trying my hardest, just frustrated it's still not enough

My boyfriend doesn't know if he loves me in any extent

whether it's a bit less
or not anymore
or if it is just his thoughts

what do I do and how long until he works this out and I can sleep at night
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>>17848689
Ur dun I'm sorry
If he's telling you now he's been thinking it for a bit

Just end it before he does you'll save yourself some heart ache
>>
>>17848689
His love should be shown through actions, not words.
>>
>>17848840

He doesn't really use words at all. I hope so

>>17848835

He says he doesn't know 100% though

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/adv/,

Have you had any issues with performance anxiety and how have you gotten over them?

I have a new girlfriend and we had amazing sex while at my house and there were no issues. Every time I go to her place to fuck I just lose my erection. It's disappointing as fuck honestly.

I truly want to fuck her and I love doing it but I can feel my body just retract itself and all feelings of being horny go with it. With my ex I rarely had any issues at all keeping it up so I'm just confused now.

I know it's putting a dent in my relationship...
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>>
Tell her that the Feng Shui is off.
>>
>>17848690
I guess that's it but I feel like there's more to it, the last couple of nights I've been going over there and I feel it might drag over to my house
>>
>>17848687
Try going slower
Build it up
Kiss her, tease her, play with her

I mean really fucking slow like you'll fuck her in an hour up until then no D in the V besides dickhead to clit rubbing

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>can't work because live with single parent who is on welfare and working would negate it and force me to pay rent and other taxes
>can't move out because no money and single parent can't take care of themself
>have to travel 4 hours a day to attend school and obtain a degree in a class I dislike
>have to then pursue a job after obtaining a degree I dislike for the sole purpose of survival
>have to then worry...
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>>
The real modern man would welcome a challege.
>>
>>17848694
There is a difference between a challenge that one struggles with to overcome and become a better self and a challenge that provides nothing of worth whatsoever.
>>
Try /r9k/

Hello,

I see a psych quarterly and he has diagnosed me with depression, yet prescribed me an antipsychotic, Abilify. Usually I have paranoid thoughts, social anxiety, avoiding everyone, magical thinking, but no hallucinations. Neither my psychiatrist nor my therapist think I'm schizophrenic, but the therapist thinks I should get a second opinion, though she insists I'm not schizo.

Could this be undiagnosed bipolar disorder or perhaps schizotypal personality?
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>>17848674
I think you should get a second opinion
From a dr
Not some guy that browses 4chin
>>
It's autism.
>>
>>17848674
You fukin crazy nigga lmao

Skinyfag here.

how long does it take in the gym before women on tinder start sending you messages?

Assuming I'm average spic (don't look like mexican or indian, just brown), but 1.70 manlet.
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>>
3 months
>>
1 month before men start slapping you on the ass.
>>
6 months solid training and diet, low bodyfat

You don't need to be "big" these days. Most girls, especially younger ones like the ottermode look best

But, as implied by your OP pic, if you are ugly you might as well not bother

Face > EVERYTHING

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I dropped an m&m and i just spent 10 mins looking for it

How the fuck does an m&m just disappear
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>>17848623
Who the fuck cares?

You're obviously not looking hard enough.
>>
Stand up.
>>
When i was 7 I was going to be Harry Potter for christmas. I took halloween pictures with my sister and I had a broom that came with my costume. I went inside to eat and put the broom in a closet while eating dinner. When I went back to the closet the broom was gone, and never seen again. I lived in that house for another 6 years and we never saw that broom.

I feel kind of anxious about christmas. I'm 22 and I've gotten used to always spending christmas with my family, but this year it's different.
My mother is going to place A with her new partner, my sister is spending her holidays with her boyfriend, my grandparents want to spend christmas by themselves (understandable, we spend christmas with them pretty much every year), my aunt said we could spend christmas together, but if I want to do something else then she'll go spend it with her boyfriend and his parents.

That's where the problem comes in. I'd gladly spend christmas alone, to me it's just a day as the others. It's not the day that makes it special, it's the people. So I kind of want my aunt to spend christmas with her boyfriend, but then I should tell her "Yeah go with him, I'll just do whatever" and knowing my family that's not acceptable.
I don't want to be a restriction for them, but I don't know how to tell that to them because I don't think they'd like the idea of me spending christmas alone in my home (even though I'm completely fine with that)

Wat do
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>>17848622
are you a guy or a girl
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>>17848629
not sure why it would matter but I'm male yes
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>>>/soc/
maybe you can hook up with someone for a pityfuck

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So I was at college campus with my friends and we were having a bit of an off-time, so we started talking about memes and stuff. I told them I knew the most memes out of everyone there, and we all began this little challenge to see how many memes we could recite.

I started by saying "IMMA FIRE MAH LASER" and such, and they went "wow much meme very funny" and so on, and eventually one of the guys in our group, a black guy, said "I'M A REAL N***A", to which I replied "You're a real n***a FOR ME". I wasn't aware that...
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>talking about memes
>cant say nigga
wat

Stop using "cultural appropriation" in actual conversation. Makes you look as stupid as people who say "literally".
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>>17848535
lol XD
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>>17848535
sorry pal

saying the N word in front of SJWs is fatal

find some real friends like conservatives :)

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I am running the risk of my andriod phone being confiscated because I spam posted the script of the Bee Movie on someone's facebook. What's the best way to ensure they can't access any of my files.
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>>17848534
Who's threatening to confiscate?
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>>17848534
Firstly no one anywhere has the ability to confiscate anything from you. If somone tries to take your phone simply do not hand it over it your property. Secondly, stop fucking around on Facebook.
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>>17848552
u = idiot

op just accept the fact you are fucked

and give the police your phone

unlocked

they can break into it anyway & you will get leniency if you cooperate

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being a stay at home mom,

pro's:
>time to look after yourself so you stay in shape and are mentally balanced which helps a lot in raising sane kids
>time to do more than just the bare minimum when it comes to chores, which will give the whole family a home instead of just a place to be
>time and nerves to actually raise your kids and teach them values and manners
>clearly separatet jobs. the husband isn't expected to come home and take out the trash or cook dinner. he has done his part of the deal and can now recover for the next day (it would be fair to make sure the mom has some free recovering time too, for example, when everyone is at school. but then there's now nagging about who does bedtime and such)
>time to maintain the families social circle (pay a visit to the grandma in the hospital or fetch something from the drugstore for the mother in law that has a fever).
>time to help your kids in their free time (housework, drive them to training and so on)

con's:
>you won't be able to get as far, careerwise, as peers that stayed in the workforce (neglectable in my eyes since you can still do reasonably well, because most people are lazy af anyways.)
>only one income
>you are dependant on your husband
>you might get looked down upon by working moms


am i missing something important?
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Fuck me I want to be a housewife and cook and clean for my husband. Thats the dream.
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>>17848554
My uncle's wife went schizophrenic after a few years of doing just that.
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>>17848554
What if the husband wants to cook? I love cooking and I'm really good at it. I'm sure I'd be better than my wife.

But then again, I don't make enough to support a stay at home mom right now... maybe in a few years.

>*first word problem trigger warning*
>be a late bloomer
>dated a girl for 3 years in college. She was the only attractive girl that showed interest in me so I was like lol ok
>have nothing in common besides wanting to bang each other
>break up after 3 years
>devastated
>discover tinder
>go on a banging spree of multiple other...
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Get a hobby and allow yourself to be passionate about it
>>
bro, I can relate

>24
>late bloomer
>had two serious relationships
>one was online when I was 15-17 with my WoW girlfriend
>then went on a tinder bang fuck fest for a few years
>then my my ex and dated her for about 3 years


And after that relationship with her, I've been really put off from relationships altogether.

Like, I hit up one girl for a FWB scenario,...
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To stop having such an unhealthy sexual life comes to mind.
Uninstall Tinder comes next.

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I'm currently writing an application in english and my new Word app keeps saying I should use more concise language.
E.g. it always wants me to correct "take a look at" into "look at". As a non native speaker, I'm a bit confused - is "look at" really more precise in any given situation? Is "take a look at" always bulky and too much?

Also, is there something like a style guide on how to write good english texts? I feel I'm fluent, but often times I have no grasp about when to use what phrase/ whether to make a...
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"Chicago Manual of Style", if you like. And don't follow anything when it comes to sentence structure from a word program unless it was a typo. Those programs are rarely accurate.
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I guess "look at" does some more formal for an application. Its direct and quick, but in dialogue its fine to say "take a look" or "check this out".
I'm in the US and in school we take English studies which mostly covers literature and writing.
You probably are good at english
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you could always run those questionable sentences through Hemingway if they seem wordy

if you're writing a job application, there's some wiggle room on skill lists where you don't need to make complete sentences


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