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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 604. page
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I was reluctant to post here because I'm probably just being touchy but long story short

I have a half asian bf, and I'm white. We've been dating for 2 years.
Recently he has hardly paid attention to me, stuck to his computer, I've told him several times that I wish he would spend time with me more and he was really guilty and said he would, and he didn't. Also trying to hide things on the computer from me when I'm near.
Although he doesn't do a very job and its obvious.

I noticed he is obsessed with asians (he is proud...
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>>17440589
Leave him. Done
>>
To me what isn't a dealbreaker is that he has this fixation on Asian girls. What is, is that any dumb fuck with an ounce of empathy would understand that as a white girl, hearing your own boyfriend trash white women takes its toll on your self esteem. If he does not get that he is either a functional retard or an asshole who does not care about your feelings, or tries to neg you into disproving his stereotypes and feeling inferior. Either one would be a dealbreaker for me.
>>
Have you told him all of this or just the first part?

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Hi /adv/. I'm currently seeing this girl. She's really nice, we enjoy our company together and I find her really cute and sweet. I would want to take our relationship further.

However I have feelings of doubts that is brought upon by my past relationships. I've been in situations wherein it took me months before I was able to move on. Not only that I've had experiences when my ex gf had a failed suicide attempt just so I won't break up with her. She's already mentally unstable and I kind of blame myself for what happened to her.

The thing is I'm afraid that the new relationship we are forming might end up like the ones I had before. I've been to 5 relationships already and all of them ended pretty badly. I'm starting to think that I am not deserving of having a healthy relationship and I should just give up even though I really want to have a family of my own in the future.

With this new girl what's troubling me is because she's only 20 and I'm already 28. She might get bored in the future or there may be factors that we can't control that might lead to its end. Bottom line is that I am already fearful.

I'm not getting any younger as well and it makes me wonder why my relationships don't last. I blame myself and I learn from my wrongs but it was not enough to make my past relationship last.

So any advice will be appreciated /adv/. I'm want to welcome the future with open arms but I'm still troubled. In the past what I did to cope up with my bad luck in relationships was develop new skills, spend time to improve myself like working out, and I still do most of them today.
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>>17440582
I got you.. but I don't know if I have useful advice - just able to relate really..
Turning 27 this week and really optimistic about a first date this week haha (as in.. please, please let her be 'the one'! - I'm so sick of everyone's bullshit)
Had 3 relationships that haven't lasted that long.. distance/different stages in-life/not feeling it... sigh.. At least they all ended amicably (i think) - but since all of them said something along the lines of 'you are a great guy...
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>5 relationships
What have been the common themes so far? What did all (or most) of the girls have in common? What did the breakups have in common? What stuff repeats in each relationship? It can be you stuff, her stuff, behavior stuff, opinion stuff, personal history stuff, interaction stuff, sex, money, friends, free time, fighting, helping, secrets, needs, positive, negative, neutral, whatever. Any aspects that fit the category of "this shit keeps happening", say what those are.
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>>17440624
>>17440626
You too if you like

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>22 years old
>Been NEET for a few years
>Moved away from friends two years ago so I don't have much contact with anyone now
>Never bothered finished learning how to drive because I'm too much of a pussy
>Don't want to go to College because I don't even know what the fuck I want to do ontop of having no way to pay the inevitable debt
>Having trouble finding jobs because I have no prior experience except for volunteer work one time years ago, been a NEET for years, and haven't continued to pursue education beyond highschool
>Can't enlist in the army or anything like that because I have asthma

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I want to get out of this hell.
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You could try marriage scamming rich old women.
>>
Go to Alaska and try to survive the winter. If you manage to do it, and you decide you wanna come back, many people will hire you after hearing that you survived a winter in hell. I speak from experience.
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become a monk/nun. real human beens are not happy.

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I need to kill myself but pure helium isn't really easy to get by these days.
Will gas sellers just sell me pure industrial helium/nitrogen/argon if I request it? Is it possible to hook up these bottles to a flow regulator or would the tubing just burst?

Pls no normie answers like "it gets better lol".
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Self bump
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Avoiding not telling you to kill yourself, just make a noose and hang yourself. If you're worried about the pain, your goal is to die. You can handle a few minutes of pain before death.
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>>17440599
I don't have a beam to do it from. And I wouldn't want anyone to find me while doing it in the woods.

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I learned that people love compliments. I feel bad for not complimenting enough when people deserve it. And worst is when I don't compliment 100%, I say other nitpicky things...How do I show real gratitude for everything people do? I don't want to manipulate people but I think I enjoy it when they like compliments, even if they don't show I don't know anyone who dislikes a sincere compliment (not a fake one used just to flatter them)
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Speak words at them
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>>17440489
Yes but how do I make the words?
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>>17440495
With your brain and mouth, expressing what you're feeling.

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I have an gaming addiction that I developed during my childhood, it still my addiction to this day
I want to achieve more goal in my life rather than sitting at home, sitting on my computer chairs but every time I do something productive one days, the next days I play games to let off stress or to relax.

Is there an alternative way to replace my game addiction?
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>>17440483
Keep it to weekends for now and save up for a therapist if you want it completely gone.

Because of the nature of gaming, it is an INCREDIBLY hard soft addiction to drop. Unlike smoking weed which is just a fun high with plenty of draw backs, modern video games give you rushes of multiple internal drug releases. You get all the sensations of real life success and adventure without ever having achieved either and there are no distinct physical draw backs to it either.

So really, if you keep it to a weekend...
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>>17440501
Thank anon but another question
What other entertainment or hobby that can replace game for relaxing after I did what I wanted/need to do for today or stress reliever after a hard day working?
Also, I'll give that weekend gaming a try, starting today.
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>>17440501
Please listen to this anon.

I was fresh out of high school, and my sister introduced me and my mom to an MMO. We all became heavily addicted.

Instead of asking me to get a job/life, my mom would just have me contribute in ways that benefit her in-game. Like farming in-game monies so she could buy mounts.

It was such a vicious cycle. Wake up, vidya all day until bed. Rinse, repeat.

I had to move out to break free, because there was no incentive for me to do anything other feed my fantasy....
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>Want to get my bachelors in Biochemistry
>Always had above average grades in school
>Got lazy my senior year and decided not to worry about uni

Fast forward

>21, part time job, doing absolutely nothing
>Live with grandparents, my 3 uncles, my mom and two brothers
>My mom lives off food stamps, and my grandparents are retired
>I absolutely want to...
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Get a job.
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>>17440469
Kill yourself.
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>>17440473
>I want to go to college.
>college costs money.
>how do I make money if I can't get free money?

It's honest advice, idiot. I worked to earn money for college, then worked part time to go to full time college. It's not uncommon.

Join the military if you want though. They aren't blowing smoke up your ass when they promise all those perks or anything. Not at all.

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Has anyone ever improved their sex life by overcoming their porn and fapping addiction?

I'm a 28 year old man and I seldom have sex (it's been a year) because I never pursue women and I never pursue women because of performance anxiety. I believe it's caused by porn or at least fapping way too much.

This sounds like me

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/2012/05/abusing-porn/
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I feel you need to strike the right balance. Too much jerking and I know I won't be able to get hard for the girl. Not enough jerking and I know I will blow my load in minutes. Just the right amount of jerking and I can fuck the girl until she cums and then I can cum whenever I want.

I also get performance anxiety too when I'm with a new person. I've had sex with a lot of women, but whenever I'm with someone for the very first time, my mind is going a million miles per hour and I can't get my dick up. I'm usually good to go the second time...
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>>17440460

This shit sounds like me too, but the article is off kilter for me because I don't have anyone to be fucking at the moment.

It's hard for me to stop masturbating when I've been single for two years and don't really see that changing any time soon. (Not for lack of options but mainly because I don't like anyone that way that I can feasibly date.)
>>
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>>17440491

For me it's delayed ejaculation, I can get it up but it takes ages to cum or sometimes I can't.

>>17440492

I'm attempting no fap at the minute to try remedy this, It will be one week tomorrow but every day I've been looking at porn and edging myself because I'm addicted. I've decided to stop doing that.

There's a lot of supposed benefits

http://rebootblueprint.com/10-powerful-benefits-of-quitting-porn/

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Hey /adv/.
I have IBS among other problems (tinnitus, depression, anxiety, etc.) and every few months it appears something new pops up.
I'm seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, plenty of doctors, have been to the ER a multitude of times.
But that's just the basics. Let me get to why I'm here. I know there's not really anyway to "cure" IBS. I feel awful pain constantly but no one can figure out why, and I'm banking on the thought of suicide.
My problem is that I live in the state of Florida, and in Florida someone with authority...
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>>17440443
I forgot: I'm adopted, I've known my real mom for about a year or so now, and I recently fucked up relations with my biological family after they caught my sister cracking a dick joke. This lead them to yelling at my sister for about 2 hours because they thought I was a pedophile that wanted to fuck my sister. My stepdad tried to put on this tough guy act, so I told him to, in short, fuck off and quit pretending like he plays a part in my life, and to quit pretending like he knows how to treat women (he...
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>>17440443

honestly I had no idea IBS could be this bad and effect a person's life this much to the point where they consider suicide

shouldn't the hospital just give you a prescription for pain medication at least?
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>>17440487
That's the problem with IBS. It's extremely tricky to deal with, it might make my pain/symptoms worse. I'm trying to get antidepressants soon, but it coukd fuck my stomach up.

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How much are you put off by PDA?
Bf and i are dating since a year and we can't seem to keep our hands off of each other. We make a conscious effort to not overdo it, but as it seems, it's still way too much. (we got told to "get a room" by friends fairly often...). I'm embarassed to think that we might act way over the top and make other uncomfortable witheout realizing it. What's it with people that have to have constant body contact? It's weird, because i never was like that before i met him and i also think that if we wouldn't try to hold back, we would just make out 24/7.
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A year isn't that long for a relationship, so that isn't surprising. Once you live together, it tapers down. Especially the older you get.
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>>17440446
Well, problem is we do live together and we are already mid to late 20's...
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>>17440450
Like I said, a year isn't very long. Good for you though. My wife and I used to be the same way, until maybe year 3 or 4 of dating. We are still affectionate in public, but not so brazenly. Finding someone you are comfortable with like that is great.

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All of my friends are getting extremely hot girlfriends and I'm basically all alone. I don't know what it is about me, but the girls never seem to go for me really and no one can ever even tell me why. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 24 years old.

I feel like I will begin to be phased out as the only one that's single as this is natural.
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>>17440409
Post a picture of you then we can help
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>>17440409

Don't feel bad, you're the true winner here.
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>>17440417

I've always wondered if that was the case, but all of my friends tell me it isn't, even the females in that group. However, maybe they're just too nice to be honest; I'm not sure. Maybe I should aim lower. Some girls do take interest in me, but they're always ones I don't find attractive. Maybe I'm too picky, I dont know.

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So I want to study a new language for fun. How can I decide which one's for me or not?
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Learn sign language.
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I'm scared that this is a thinly veiled Brandon thread, but...

Pick a culture you would like to experience one day. You posted a matryoshka doll, which makes me think that maybe you like Russian culture. Would you like to go there? Visit? Learn about their people? Then cool, do that. Some people, especially on 4chan, love Japanese culture, so I'd suggest that.

I learned Spanish from a practicality standpoint, but also because it's not terribly hard. If you just want to add something to your repetoire, that's not bad.
>>
>>17440368

I'm going to say learn Irish so we have more people speaking it.

http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/irish.php

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I'm mainly here for /adv/ to reaffirm what I'm already thinking, but I may as well ask.

I hit on a girl a while back at my favorite bar. Our "relationship," for lack of a better term, has lasted about 3-4 years now. We've hooked up, and she admitted she really likes me.

Long story short though, she invited herself along to this party thing about two years ago and I wasn't expecting her to come. Because I wasn't paying attention to her, she asked my buddy to show her his dick, and just did a bunch of other slutty shit until she...
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nah
>>
give it a chance
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Just see how she is. Worst case, you get a hand job.

Be me , volunteering at the elementary school
>Talking to teacher,the subject of family comes up. I tell her I look allot like my brothers. I pull up my gallery to show her a pic .
>forgot to turn off private mode, a bunch of loli pops up Fullscreen
>I close private mode and act like nothing happened.

What do I do? She looked kinda shaken. I fucked up..
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>>17440195
Tell her you're a fucking pedo, faggot.
>>
>What do I do? She looked kinda shaken. I fucked up..
Yeah you did. Theres nothing you can do and its very likely that she will tell other people about it. Sorry, but theres nothing i could say to make you feel better.
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>>17440195
>volunteering at the elementary school
>a bunch of loli pops up Fullscreen

You dirty cunt. Best volunteer at the dog shelter next time.

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I'am 37 and pretty much accepted that the traditional way to live the 2nd half of your life with wife, children, house won't happen for me.

Really tried to avoid it becoming this far, tried to get my life on track the last couple of years and was successfull in some areas e.g work, school. But failed in others like friends and gf where, me shutting myself from the outside world for over 10 years, has proven to have left bigger scars on my brain than i thought.

I accept who i am, i don't feel like a failure, i just made bad decisions and must carry...
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Have you tried charity or social work? Volunteering?
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Hit the gym, breh.
>>
What you want is a purpose and I can't give you that.

You want to feel the existentialist void on yourself not empty and that is almost impossible.

It's in our genes however, to strive to improve the people around us, so you could try that.
Charitative work, or getting involved in helping the community. That'll make you feel better of yourself as a person. Maybe not whole, but it's a start? You don't have to socialize with a lot of people, just one or two to start with.

By what you say of school it does not look like you're...
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Hey adv. Girl here who went on a date. How can I tell if the guy was actually into me and not just pretending in order to make things less awkward and/or to get sex?
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you dont at first.
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>>17440179
>How can I tell if the guy was actually into me and not just pretending in order to make things less awkward and/or to get sex?
Yes.
>>
>>17440185
>>17440184
What?

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This is going to sound batshit crazy but I promise it's not.

I'm about to start work on my MD/PhD, and as part of my experiments I need to find women who are willing to be essentially used as brood mares for over a decade. What I can promise upfront is this:

>Top quality medical care
>Financial compensation, basically high quality of life funded with research money until your kids all turn 18
>The possibility to get mega-wealthy if my experiments bear fruit

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>>17440145
>This is going to sound batshit crazy but I promise it's not.
Yes it is. Stop making up shit to try and make you sound legitimate, something like this would never get ethics approval. We're not stupid here
>>
>>17440149

Sure it will. It just has to be worded correctly when submitted to an ethics board. Or I have to conduct the experiment in a less regulated environment.
>>
>>17440153
>It just has to be worded correctly when submitted to an ethics board.
No, it won't
>Or I have to conduct the experiment in a less regulated environment.
Then you won't be getting your MD/PhD

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>friend/roommate has aspbergers
>she says inappropriate comments
>often related to her digestive issues
>refuses to eat anything that's not gluten or lactose free
>hardly eats all day
>at the end of the day, binges on something unhealthy (chips, marshmallows)
>gets a stomach ache
>complains about her GI problems
>comments about how her poop looks and comes up with stupid reasons why she has these issues (like she ate a healthy tomato soup)
>talks extremely fast and does not give me room to comment
>always takes criticism or advice very harshly; will have a meltdown if I disagree with her
>gets very angry with people and will start hitting herself if they
>for example
>one time I asked her if she could pick up her plates
>she complained that she was too lazy and tired from work
>said she would pick it up the next day
>a week goes by, she doesn't pick it up
>I ask her (nicely) to please put her dishes in the dishwasher
>she has a meltdown and cries about how her stomach hurts and that's why she can't do it
>tells me in detail about her diarrhea and her stomach pain

How do I let her know I'm uncomfortable with this? What should I do when she starts talking about her GI problems? Any other advice to deal with a roommate with Aspberger's?
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>>17440117
Tell her to shut the fuck up.
>>
>>17440117
Why are you listening to her?

Tell her to shut the fuck up or just put on earphones when she starts talking.
>>
>>17440121
she would have a meltdown if I said that, which is counter progressive
>>17440133
at first she never brought it up. The first time she did, I was so bewildered that I actually didn't know what to say. For a while I coped by just sitting there and zoning out, but now it's become so frequent, and she will even talk about her GI in front of guests, that it's embarassing

I met him 2 years ago and I only have this photo of him, and his name is Daniel, and is from the UK. I know it's not much but I really need to know :(
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He has a flickr, ijramsey96, but it hasnt been active for a couple of years.

I think he may have died after being hit with the ugly stick so hard.
>>
>>17440109
He is Daniel the ghost.
Maybe he evaporated?
>>
>>17440109
Also, the guy in the photo is not "daniel," his name is Isaac. Maybe you were catfished or he lied, idk.

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Everytime i seem to go outside home i get this uncomfortable feeling and i feel like im panicking the whole time every time i go to walk or go to a shop etc. i get this nervousness its been since i was 12
>im 18
>wtf do i do? its fucking eating me alive
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>>17440088
You're a newfag with anxiety, probably autism.
Get off 4chan before it swallows you alive.
I'm serious.
>>
See a doctor. Maybe get meds. Also try this...http://recoveryinternational.org
>>
>>17440088
You have to talk to someone. Get a therapist. They'll help you get to the bottom of your anxiety.

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My characteristics
>18 yo
>5/10 face
>skinny
>shy
>no practical skills
>smoker since 14
>kinda low hygiene standard
>slighty above average intelligence
>have smaller than average d
>virgin

Should I try to get a couple? I do know that the small...
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>>17440080
First off - clean yourself up. Try to bust your ass getting better hygiene. If you can, drop the smokes too - that shit's terrible for you.
As much as some of the fucks here want you to believe it, you're not going to have more or less luck with one ethnic group than another. It just doesn't work like that.
Look for a social group. People that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Also, if someone's so concerned about your dick size, they're not right for you. Even if it's...
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There is nothing about you that is appealing, based on your standards
>>
>>17440083
thanks
one thing: for gender, I refered to biological gender, vagina or dick

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Hey /adv/.

I need to abstain from certain things: Masturbation and eating meat. It's for mental and emotional reasons, but in both of these categories (mostly the first) I keep relapsing.

I need a mindset, or mantra, to keep me from letting the temptation take me.

Only helpful answers please!
You're awesome!!
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>>17440062
dont buy meat
>>
When I get the urge to jack off (which was only when I first gave it up; after a while it wore off) I make myself do something really captivating and addictive like play my favorite video games or watch a really engaging movie. Good way to distract your mind and prevent you from succumb to the boredom.
>>
>>17440070
The issue is mainly in the mornings (morning wood) and it's more difficult to do something captivating directly after waking up..

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I'll make a long story very short. My boyfriend has been whoring me out to first his bosses, then his coworkers, then his friends, and now to strangers he meets online. I want to leave, but I don't know how. There is literally nobody in my life I can go to about this. It's either leave or jump out of a window.
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>>17440014
>It's either leave or jump out of a window.
Then leave.
>>
>>17440014
Gross. Yeah, the answer is to leave. If you have no family and no friends who can take you in until you get on your feet, then you need to find the nearest women's shelter and stay there. They're meant for people like you who are trying to escape abusive relationships. Go check out which shelters are nearby.
>>
You're the one agreeing to this, don't blame your boyfriend

>ex dumped me 2.5 years ago and just married the guy she left me for yesterday
>Meanwhile all I found was one bipolar girl and no one else

I can't make any friends, no one wants to be around me. For 2 and a half years I followed the typical advice of improving and focusing on yourself which I have all but socially. My wages have doubled, I own my own condo but I can't get anyone to even want to see me.
8 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17440004
Embrace hedonism and 2D my friend.
I'm not a regular on this board btw, just passing through.
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>>17440004
>I can't make any friends, no one wants to be around me

Why ?
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>>17440046
I don't know. I moved from my home state 3 years ago so there went all high school connections. Coworkers at my earlier jobs were way older than me or their only hobby is to get drunk. At my current workplace I'm paid more than my small group of coworkers which they are bitter about because they think my position is easy. And again their hobby is to get drunk anyway. I did make a few friends on 4chan but they are all about 40 minutes drive away and yet again most don't have much funds to do anything....
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Is it normal to be alone and to be content with that? I'm a 24 year old male but I'm not the typical 4chan kissless virgin. I've had one girlfriend before for a year and plenty of sex with her. We have been broken up for almost two years now but that's not the point of this. Before her I had always been alone and not been overwhelmingly happy with it but I was content and didn't even look for a relationship or even try to talk to girls. She pursued me until I decided to give it a shot. It was nice while it lasted and I thought to myself wow so this is...
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I used to be like you, but getting to my 30s I've realised I made a horrible mistake. What was once comfort has become unbearable
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>>17439974
What was the mistake? Waiting too long to look for a significant other?
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Idk but I know how you feel anon. I just broke up with a dude I've been seeing for a month because I just didn't want to spend any time with him anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing from what I can tell, unless you're unhappy. I like to think that I can use all the time spent pursuing a relationship to further myself and my own goals. Because desu I'd rather spend time on myself than on a relationship right now. Maybe we just need time, and to find the right person that we click with, you dig?

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I cant seem to get a clear cut answer from them, I've heard everything to fapping feels better to its a gift from god and everything in between
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Like what does it mean to them?
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>>17439955
Sex is just sex. It's good, but it's not what all the fucking r9k virgins work it up to be
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>>17439955
it's nothing compared to those DUBDUBS

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Am I the only one here that self harms when they're alone at home and frustrated? I don't cut or anything but I'll slap my face, pull my hair and hit myself with objects. Either that or I'll rip/break/stab/throw non-important objects around me. Any advice for how I can stop this? It's really hard, I hate myself so much that when I do something irritating I get a strong urge to punish myself for being so stupid or incompetent.
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Are you a girl? Do you need a bf? I could be your bf and I'd stop you from doing that by the power of love 2bh
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>>17439945
I reckon you could stop being a retard but that's a stretch cause that shits usually permanent
>>
> I hate myself so much that when I do something irritating I get a strong urge to punish myself for being so stupid or incompetent.
I used to feel that way but I never physically gave into. I used to have those same urges but I never acted on them. Now they're gone and my self esteem is up. Mind over matter anon. You need to choose to start seeing yourself differently than you do, and make a point to treat yourself right. Your opinion of yourself should change along the way.

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7 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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the obvious name collin that comes with collin sounding like callin'

aside from that nothing
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if you were collin you could say "i'm collin you gay" , for example
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OP here, what if it is for the back of a varsity jacket

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Is it bad that I'm extremely attracted to a 14 year old girl I met on Overwatch? I love her high pitched voice, she's literally just some girl who plays OW all day. I'm 25 but I just feel unable to control my attraction to teenagers. actually buying a new headset because of all the new Overwatch friends I've made as a result of her. I actually had a girl want to go out with me for a first date this weekend, but I felt like just playing Overwatch instead.

Am I just retarded or what?
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yes that's bad and yes you're retarded
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>>17439915
post her blizz name

asking for a friend
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>>17439920
No. I don't want others to meet her. I already feel like I'm competing for her attention amongst the OW friends group we have already. I admit that I give her more attention than the rest.

>>17439919
I know it's retarded but what can I say. Listening to teens giggle and chat about Overwatch makes me happy.

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Hey I'm going to give you all some advice.

>be asexual
>avoid relationships
>derive happiness independently

All humans are trash and any type of investment in one is a poor, poor gamble. I have lived this way for 3 years and have been on an upward trajectory ever since.

Try it. Good night.
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17439911
>be something you're not

great advice retard
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>>17439911
>be asexual
Sure, when can I sign up?
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>>17439916
Read up on conditioning.

Poor quality trolling by the way... you're not even trying really.


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