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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 620. page
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Hey guys. First time posting here so I'm not sure how this works. Take it easy on me I guess.

Alright, so a year ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. I was developing a depression, and when I told her about it (and that I was seeing a psychiatrist), she said it was fine and that we'd get through this together. I felt really thankful for that, but... About a week or two later, I find out she cheats on me. Tried to confront her about it, she broke up and said "You're not the same person I used to know, it's like you don't love me anymore"....
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>>17429543
don't use a name or yo'll get chased out of 4chan in matter of seconds.
You'll find someone like her sooner or later, and maybe then it will work out. Give yourself time. I still think about my first boyfriend (we were tgether for 4 years) and regret the breakup, but the life goes on.
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>>17429548
oh sorry, didn't know about that name thingy.

It feels like she was the one and that I don't want anyone else, but on the other hand it feels like what she did was unforgivable.
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>>17429548
God I hope your name isn't Michelle

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Does anyone ever get a really terrible, creeping anxiety that their whole being is ridiculous? When I was young, it used to come as reflection on some silly mistake I made. As an adult, it's more of a fear that my essence or core being is a silly mkstake. This always happens in bed at night.

I know you guys are gonna bust by core being for this, so that I spill my essence all over the thread, but I would seriously like some feedback. If you experience anything like this, please reply.

Further details: my mind then goes to places like, "What if everything...
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Hmm, nihilistic existential doubt is not that weird.
Your feeding into your own narrative of reinforcing low self esteem.
Yes, occasionally I feel crushing bouts of internal anxiety about my place in the world.
Everybody cares a bit generally, the social etiquette is to be polite and concerned for other peoples welfare, with good friends it's genuine, but you should recognize that it not other people's place to offer you constant social validation either.

I struggle with both the things you described, I'm 'normal' to the extent that life...
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>>17429547
>this little bit of fear keeps you conscious of whether or not what you're doing is ridiculous to other people
The fear is about things outside of my control I guess. What if like, a certain facial expression I'm not consciously making is destroying 50% of my opportunities, and I just can't know? Another one would be, what if my life course looks relatively reasonable but is actually a road to ruin?

Then there are diffetences of opinion. For instance, someone...
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>>17429568
"The fear is about things outside of my control I guess."
Most things in life are outside of your control, it's something everyone has to cope with.
"What if like, a certain facial expression I'm not consciously making is destroying 50% of my opportunities, and I just can't know?"
I doubt that, people look at a variety of things when decoding other people's behavior. If your having a lot of trouble decoding emotional cues you might have mild Aspergers ( not trying...
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Hey /adv/,

So I met a girl on a dating app about two weeks ago. We don't know much about each other yet but we seem to get along pretty well. We've been texting daily. Recently she's started sending hearts/kisses as goodnight texts, which I think would be unreasonable to do at the moment because we haven't even met in person yet (for example, we could meet in person and not like each other but be fine over text).

So is it a friendly thing, or what?? Opinions please?

(Sorry for the seemingly meaningless post, I'll sage it after I get some opinions)
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you met on a DATING app
the whole purpose is to get together, not to be just friends.
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>>17429525
Yeah shit you're right. Sorry I'm stupid. Saging
>>
When it comes to dating apps, generally you want to spend as little time chatting online as possible, and instead try to meet up after a small number of days. One way to get closer to meeting in person is to go from texting to calling her, to webcam-chatting on skype (dressed of course) which would make it less awkward meeting irl later

So I deleted my facebook earlier today. Have any of you anons? As addicting as it is to use I a afraid ill be back. What do you think?
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I don't see any benefit to deleting my facebook, so nope. It's the only way I keep in contact with my family, and I much prefer keeping them at arm's length like that. In fact, I'm thankful for facebook, because without it I would either have to call/text them or cut them off entirely. This is a perfect middle ground for me.

Also it helps me keep in contact with old friends from high school in the same way. It's nice how we're all are friends on FB after all these years even if we don't really chill anymore.
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>>17429509

You did the right thing.
Facebook promotes social exclusion and using people as a product. It promotes narcissism, and the worst kinds of social competitiveness.
It's been proven to increase depressive and anxiety symptoms.

And other than that? Do you really want a constant reminder of all the shit you did in 5 or 10 years time. For everyone to look back and see?
>>
Congratulations, now make sure to remind everyone any time any kind of social media comes up in conversations.

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Are my toes webbed or no? This is my first time posting and I would really appreciate some honesty. Thanks
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Those are not webbed.
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>>17429501
https://www.google.com/search?site=&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1280&bih=891&q=webbed+toes&oq=webbed+toes&gs_l=img.3..0l10.2611.4559.0.4679.11.11.0.0.0.0.111.799.8j2.10.0....0...1ac.1.64.img..1.10.798.vzFG_mhyegk

>found a document at work
>it's a satirical bunch of shit-talk about how negative the navy is compared to the air force

>"Delegating is a sign of weakness. If you want it done right, do it yourself."
>"If you are not worrying about work, you must not be very committed. We will find someone who is."
>"Shut your cabin door and lock it from the inside so that no one will distract you. They are...
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>>17429435

You can always request a career change in the armed forces. It's quite simple if you're currently serving and some special forces even require that you have served in a different branch.

Your experience in multiple roles could be valuable for career progression but more importantly it could mean you will be happy with your life.

Think carefully on it as it's not something to do on a whim.
>>
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>>17429492
you have missed the point entirely and only reinforced my thinking that nothing can be left to a subordinate, I have to do everything myself, and yet, everything I do is automagically wrong
>>
I don't understand what you're asking, can you put it another way?

Should I get some fake Yeezys for ~$20? I like the design but would like to avoid getting made fun of because I don't want to spend $1000 on the originals.
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>>17429403
No they're meme shoes.

There are plenty similar, always get legit shoes, fake and cheap shoes can end up giving you bad health problems. I used to work in a shoe shop, I know.
>>
Nike and Adidas has stuff like that. That material isn't exclusive to Kanye West. You just gotta wear their brand, although you might be able to get one without a logo that stands out (I did). Mine are in the mail, all black as well, although theyre tennies and not runners.

Just take the new Yeezy pictures and ask /fa/ for something similar. Thats gonna get you roasted but my point is that this stuff is not exclusive to Yeezy.
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>>17429423
Those are athletic shoes and kanye memes

Nig shoe is a racist not specific term and makes me think of white and laser red jordans. Athletic casual is huge with white ppl actually.

Will make it as short as i can.
>One year ago ended my relationship, one of my longest ones so far
>It was with one guy my pack of friends knew and reasons were far too complicated to just list out
>Fast forward, it's 2000+16
>Hang out with this pack of friends
>Romantic interest in one of them
>Someone starts asking me about my relationship with that guy i broke up with

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bump?
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hmm, you might be fine and it's not anything crazy surprising, if he asked he was probably expecting a response.

as a rule just be careful when talking about exes, I don't think it ever goes well for anyone beyond saying you parted amiably.

You should own up to it, but you don't ever really have to bring it up again.

You can't fix stupid shit you say to people, trust me on that, most people are nice enough to not put you on the spot because basically everyone says something stupid and regrettable at some point or another without it being catastrophic, but it's part of someones macro perception of your character and rationale.

I would just act normal, everyone just want shit to feel normal.

Just be careful if you feel yourself getting carried away, hit pause, gauge your emotional state and context and the other persons response.

Don't beat yourself up over it, that;s almost worse, because then you feel like your constantly compensating unnecessarily.

If your cool with these people,
it's a drop in the bucket.
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>>17429529
Yeah, i'm seeing a psychologist right now because of how easily i get carried away. The only thing i'm worried about right now is my current love interest. I'm kinda worried he mighty feel guilty because of what i said.

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Trying to get into hacking and I know 4chan is all about that shit so got any tips or codes?? Like how do you just break into a major youtubers account how do you figure out the password?
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Control
Alt
Delete
Lock pc
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>>17429372

First you have to delete System 32.

It's the file on your computer that stops you from hacking stuff. Delete it.
>>
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So I'm getting ready to move from the middle of bumfuck nowhere to NYC in a few weeks. I'm concerned bc not only am I moving from the exact opposite of NYC, I've also only recently moved out of my self hating depressed phase of my life, so this is kind of like my blank slate and I don't want to fuck up. Like I've already been told to stop holding doors open for people or they'll think I'm trying to pull something. And I'm really anxious about having to make friends, especially since I'll know nobody and apparently it's harder...
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Are you coming to NY for school or a job or something, or do you just want to "make it in the big city?"
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>>17429376
College
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>>17429457
what school?

How does one move towards finding a relationship? I'm 20 and never have been in one before. I'm slowly building a social life and trying to work towards getting out daily and force me to talk to more people every day to develop my social skills, but I've never really had the experience of asking a girl out, much less going on a date.

What's your best advice for finding that girl?
(pic related, it's my face. I don't think I'm unnattractive per se.)
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You are very attractive and have a nice smile. Your hair is a little unruly at that length. It looks unkempt.

You ask about how to find a girl you like. Have you ever had a girlfriend? The ways of love are pretty universal.
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>>17429298
Like I said, never really been in one before.
As a side note this picture was taken several months ago, it was just the only one I could find that reflects my current hair cut the best.
>>
Nah you're not bad looking. If it's challenging to hold a conversation with a girl you like, it probably means she's not into you at all. If it's easy to talk to her, ask her if she'd like to go out for coffee or whatever.

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hi /adv/
Someone special that was close to me for a short time ghosted me recently(no idea why). After a while of me realizing this, I, on impulse, made it so we basically cannot contact each other anymore(i regret) unless he were to really try; spoiler alert: he didnt.
I feel very hurt. He runs through my mind several times a day and this has caused me to be less motivated to do anything and more fatigued. I was already depressed and insecure(though cheerful when talking to him) but now I am severely anxious and suicidal.
I do not think that I will ever be good enough...
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>feeling close to ending my life
And nothing of value was lost.
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Are you a girl?
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>>17429267
yes, why?

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>You like each other
>You wouldn't marry each other
>You don't know each other too well
>You are afraid of permanent STD's
>You hate condoms, not that they protect from STD's

Can anything be worked out here?
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>>17429187
First of all, condoms are way fucking better at preventing STD's than going bareback, so grow a pair and use them or suffer the consequences.

And you could also try being an adult and getting yourself and your potential fuckbuddy tested for STD's.

In short, stop being a retard.
>>
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>>17429239
this
/thread
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>>17429239
yeah if I didn't have balls I wouldn't be posting this. I'd settle for condoms, but for several reasons I can't get off on them. does oral sex run a lower risk?

I could show my papers and ask her to show me some kind of STD-free documentation, but that seems a little formal for a quick hookup.

I get that you don't have this problem, but I do, so I'm asking for advice with it.

I guess if we make out enough and she's into it, she might be convinced to provide...
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Quick question for /adv/

Do women judge you by the past girls you've been with? Like if you have been with really hot girls in the past does that increase your chances or vise versa?
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dont know.

Hope that helped
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>>17429183
yeah it did
thanks!
>>
Yes. If all of your girl friends are crazy, it says you can't recognize what a healthy, stable relationship is.

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I watch this kid on YouTube that has 31 subscribers. (I'm not going too name him). He's basically a filthy frank/leafy dickrider. He cracks racist jokes and shit. It's funny as hell. Am I creepy? I watch all of his videos.
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>>17429138
He's 13 and has barely any friends. I think I like him because I can relate too him (I have no friends and I have an offensive sense of humor)
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Pls holp
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>>17429138
Do whatever you want, it's your life. Why do you need some random person on a Cambodian photo depository to validate your actions?

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My best friend (if you could call us that) is a long-term /r9k/er, and this has come to explain why every conversation of sincere depth works its way (he does this) to the fact he isn't boning a girl he likes, nor has he recently...nor has he ever. Supposedly, this is because the world is inherently unfair towards his kind (however indescript that is), and women who /could/ be good partners to him are ruining themselves by being fat, liking things that are uncool or having unsavory personalities.

When the world isn't condemnable and evil for not having this...
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tl;dr:

I have a friend who is deeply wound into /r9k/. The negativity and hopelessness is insufferable and constant. No amount of saying or doing anything will reverse the deeply-imbedded /r9k/ damage, at least nothing reasonable and legal.

Should I tolerate this friend? Is there anything I can do here? Will he always be this way?
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>>17429041
>should I tolerate an /r9k/ friend?
no
>inb4 back to tumblr
not even tumblr, just too damn old to put up with whining. life is short OP, you shouldn't "put up with" people that you don't have to. if the overall package of their personality is not pleasant enough for you to be able to tolerate their flaws or their opinions, and you're not under an obligation to be around them for some reason (such as family or work), then...
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>>17429056
and when I say whining, I don't mean that you were whining OP. I meant whining of robots, tumblrinas, pretty much everybody that has a victim complex for whatever reason. been there, done that, bought the crying towel.

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Well, I failed my driving test again. Who else wants to talk about feeling like a raging failure?

Pic related, its a bus stop. It's probably going to be my only mode of transport from here on out.
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Asian by any chance?
>>
The written one or the driving one? If driving, find yourself a driving school. They know little secrets. When I went to one, the morning of he took me for two practice rides outside the DMV. Come exam time, it was exactly the same route I had taken in the morning. Helped a lot.
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>>17429061
Nope. Don't be a twat, bruh.

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How do I not feel disgusted by my tits while I save up for surgery? When I go about my business all day it's always in my mind how those sloppy sacks of skin are attached to me, it's like they're melting urgggh. The texture they have is awful too because of the stretch marks.

How do I deal? It ruins my day most of the time
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>>17428888

Post pics with timestamp as proof.
Kinda sounds like a bait thread.
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>>17428896
>Kinda sounds like a bait thread.
That's because it is. It's posted here constantly
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>>17428888
how bad are we talking here, op?

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Hi /adv/,

I've hit a little bit of a rough patch. I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel depressed, down and sad and I need to get through the next 8 nights (i work nights, sleep during the day until evening) in a job, that doesnt really require me to do anything (think a security guard in a graveyard)

The thing is, I need to have a beer and 4-5 shots of whiskey to get me through a night without feeling like shit.
Are there any health risks, that could occur after drinking like this every night?

Thanks for the responses
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Get some help from a real professional not some strange people on the Internet with nothing better to do than to give horrible advice on an a web forum. Seek a doctor or a therapist to help you get through this difficult time in your or not it's your call
>>
Binge drinking consecutive nights is for sure unhealthy. That's some minor liver damage, a few extra pounds, and a possible future addiction to make you fatter, sadder, and unhealthier. Find some alternatives. If you really have to, I would space out the boozing to every other day. If you have some friends or family to link up with after the 8 days I think you'll be fine. Substances can be fun but they're dangerous if used to cure loneliness.
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>>17428774
dont do it
you have so much to live for

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Ask a former sperglord any thing.

I used to be like you; lost, confused, angry at women, angry at "chads", addicted to video games and convinced that the world was designed to oppress me. I decided to make some changes, force myself to get out and experience some of the rejection I spent my life trying to avoid and now I want to share what I've learned with you.

Hook ups, one night stands, fwb, relationships, or just socializing in general; I'll give you real ass advice.
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Fuck off. Ill make my own path
>>
Where to meet girls???
Where to have sex???
How to buy condom???
>>

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18, turns out im not cut out for the job i was hoping to have a career in.
I like computers, any viable careers that involve that?
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>>17428748
Which trade meme?
Computers is the biggest meme. People inflate their stories about dropping out of highschool and reading books about programming and dev.
Now you can do IT without much creds. And normal amount of computer interest can compensate.
Though I would just be an electrician. If you understand computers, shit like that is easy and you can still do computers as a hobby.
>>
>>17428748
Trades aren't a meme, you being capable of doing anything that involves getting off your fat ass is. There is a shortage of people in trades, and a massive oversupply in IT you fucking retard.
>>
>>17428759
thanks, i guess my question was shitty.
I messed around with programming when i was younger, and i have made simple fixes to computers before (like replacing a hard drive). So perhaps i could have a career doing something with that?
>>17428766
HVAC, i hate doing install work and am not cut out for it.
Im not sure how i could go about becoming an electrician however, i imagine in a similar way that i would with my previous job.
Really the main issue was...
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When girl stares at you from a considerable distance and bites her bottom lip... whats the message shes trying to get across.

I grew up into my early teens socially awkward and always looked down when i walked.
only in recent years ive had my shoulders back eyes forward abd come out of my shell. But my lack of social skills are failing me.

Alot of girls seen to be interested. The whole biting the bottom of the lip thing has become notacble as of late when making eye contact.

Do i introduce myself To these women or Are they just hungry.
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Don't get carried away
>>
>>17428738
She probably had some leftover lunch stuck to her lips or something. Or maybe she was biting her lip thinking
>Ugh I can't believe this autist is staring at me. He's probably gonna go on 4chan and sperg out over this.
>>
nothing girls so mean anything my man
girls are too fucking retard to send signals, so you just need to go for something if you want it or you'll end up a 27 year old virgin like me

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My landlord's annoyed that I'm always home.

He's from Taiwan and goes there every once in a while. His gf (both in their 60s, wife died like 6 months ago) is staying in the house for a month and then they leave for a cruise and other shit for a couple months.

I can tell he doesn't like that I'm always home. He's told me to get a gf and stuff but I'm always stressed and I don't really care about that right now. I think he just wants me to leave to have the house to the two of them, but I have no where to go. They get the house...
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>>17428697
You're such a faggot sissy.
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>>17428697
If he's a landlord then you're paying to stay there. He has no right to tell you to leave for any reason unless you don't hold up your end of the bargain, or do something incredibly serious. He can't bitch at you because you stay in the house you're paying to stay in.

Tell him to fuck off and go to a motel if he wants privacy that bad. He can't kick you out for this stupid reason, nor does he have power over you.
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>>17428702
There's nothing for me to say. It does sound like that, doesn't it.

I dont really care what he thinks. I'm paying rent I can do what I want. It's just awkward.

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My constant thoughts about what other people are thinking about me are pretty much destroying my life. I literally can't walk around in public or talk to people, especially women without being petrified by this phobia. When I'm laying in bed at night I realize how ridiculous this is and promise myself I'll stop letting it effect my life. Yet the next I'll do the same thing and I'll just be even more disappointed with myself. For instance, I literally can't talk to women without constantly questioning their motives. Usually I just assume women are...
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How old are you?
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>>17428813
20
>>
I feel bad nobody is responding to you. Maybe there is not enough of a question in your post.

Try to think that other people also feel like this, they might also be scared shitless of what you are thinking of them. Then you're in the same boat. I dunno, maybe I shouldn't be giving advice on this.

I got into a coma in 2006. I'm an old fag and don't know what the fuck happened. It seems to me that the way of internet life is normal. This is weirding me the fuck out.
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>>17428650

this mostly
>>
How old were you when you went into the coma. Also how? btw welcome back
>>
>>17428645

Medfag here. The TV trope of waking up from a coma after X years and being completely fine is a lie. A large proportion of people don't recover at all if they're not conscious after a few days. Those who do suffer debilitating brain damage. Comas lasting years are nearly unheard of and the few patients who have undergone them all have had moderate to severe permenant brain damage as a result.

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I’m trying my best to keep this short, so here we go. All thoughts appreciated.

Long story short, I’m socially quite clumsy, awkward and overthinking dude. Wouldn't call myself an actual hikikomori but not very far from that either.
I met this one guy in a smaller imageboard, we chatted there for a week, then kept going on Skype for couple months or so. He is somewhat awkward too, though not quite on my level.

The thing is, I’m having a huge crush on him. And I’m totally clueless what to do, if anything.
I wouldn’t mind rejection in a way,...
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>>17428619
It shouldn't, guys who don't make a move will never make a move regardless of how awkward they are. I've confessed before, regardless of their reaction they act differently afterwords. Even the awkward guy will eventually take a shot or have the desire to
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you should go first with some calls/voice chatt and then play some games together since both are weebs and then develop some confidence sharing pics etc. Not interacting with this guy by just txt's is like the easy way and thus your hopes get high so chill dont wait too much make your moves and dont give everything you have or he'll bored of you.
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first of all, are you sure he's gay too?

What does it mean when someone is more than just a friend to you, but you don't feel romantically toward them either? After two years of knowing each other.
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>>17428604

nothing. unless you know what it means, it means they're just a friend that you feel closer to than your other friends.
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>>17428604
family
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>>17428674

it means they are just a friend you feel closer to than other friends. what abotu them would make them not a friend?

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What do I do? Ive been going to this ice cream bar every day for the past 2 weeks and the ice cream man has been giving me freebies and stuff. Today he gives me this note.

Now I can't go back there ever again because I can't bear to reject him. It's not that he isn't cute, it's just that I'm leaving the country in a few days and theres a language barrier and stuff.

Should I go back or ghost?
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>>17428416
tell him the truth, he is clearly a nice guy and doesn't deserve to be treated poorly for this.
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>>17428421
>He probably wants to tie you up and put you in an ice cream freezer
this is next level shitposting
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yeah fuck this guy. (not as in "have sex with him" lol)

if it were me I'd go back to emasculate him in some way because I'm bitter and hate men, but yeah, just get ice cream somewhere else

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Hey /adv/ I need some help and thoughts from you all.

So a woman lied to me, and TLDR she is having my child, her previous child was taken away for Shaken Baby Syndrome as well as being born with drugs in its system. She is still in an open case with Child Services for this.

I reported everything I can to Child Services, including the dates and times which she ingested drugs (Heroine, Pot etc) and how she planned to get around the drug test by lying about being on pain medicine she got from a dentists office for having wisdom teeth pulled, a month before she became...
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Has anyone gone through a similar case and if so what can you tell me?
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Anyone?
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Bumping hoping anyone has had experience with this type of situation before.

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My hair brush has these little nylon teeth and the balls on the end are falling off.

Is continuing to use this brush dangerous for my scalp? If I buy a new brush I am thinking about a wooden brush but are they difficult to clean? I have quite greasy hair so I have to wash the brush frequently.
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How often are you washing? That might be why you have greasy hair in the first place.

I can't help answer your questions though OP, other than to say I'd get a new brush.
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>>17428386
to save me lectures. how often should i be washing it? i suppose i could just wash my hair without bathing every few days...
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>>17428402
How you want to treat your hair depends on a variety of factors, curly hair and straight hair are different, thin and thick are different, dry and greasy are different. If you're stripping your hair of its oils daily (or more frequently) or using really harsh shampoos and/or not conditioning, your hair is going to produce extra grease to make up for what's lost.

Shampoo every three-four days, ideally and always condition afterwards. If you wash super often transitioning from that to every three-four...
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