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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 64. page
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I very uncomfortable with my body and can't handle people touching me. How to fix?
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Just think it's neither your fault NOR THEIRS.
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Please
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Don't let other people touch you, duh.

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Ok first time posting here but I dont know what to do. My current girlfriend has a ex-fiance that she left for me. Now the problem is that he is still living with here. Since they have been togheret for 5 years she seems reluctant to break all ties with him. I dont know if they are sharing a bed or he is sleeping on the couch. He still drives her to work and so on. This shit has been going on for 3 months now and I'm loosing my mind over this. What do ?
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Tell her????????
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>>17810174
He asked her to marry him, and she said yes. Not even before the wedding, and she dropped the commitment. Now you're commited to this girl. How do you see a future with this girl?
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>>17810174
I don't understand. She is still with him just called off the wedding. How is it you believe she is with you?

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I'm feeling really paranoid with my girlfriend.

I noticed it's been a while since she opened her phone/answered texts near me (which she used to do), but we always joked about couples who stay on the phone too much so I figured that ought to be it. But now I noticed she's turning the internet off on her phone everytime we're together. Yesterday she was at my house and she wanted to use my phone to look for a Youtube video. I saw that she turned the WiFi off in hers. I asked her why. She said she "just felt like it."

Is this reason for suspicion?
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>>17810170
Not sure, though it's possible she doesn't want you to see something.
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>>17810170

Seems a bit weird for sure. But then again, I have group chats too that sometimes get a shit ton of bullshit messages, so maybe she didn't want those types of things to intrude on your time together. I'd say don't worry about it too much yet, but keep an eye out if her behaviour changes otherwise.
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>>17810173
I forgot to mention, but one of the first things I noticed is the block screen. You know when you put your "password" in and the white lines appear on the blocks and such? After a while she removed the lines so it was harder to see what her password is.

From what I recall this is the first thing that irked me.

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Looking for general advice on getting my life back.
>22 year old college dropout

Spent the last two years in a miserable halfway between fwb and shit relationship. Due to circumstances a girl that I had a fling with but wasn't really into moved in with me and my roommates then fell head over heels for me. She encroached on literally everything in my life. Friends, music, hobbies, etc. Had nothing to myself anymore. Couldn't get away from her as our social circles became so intertwined. Her constant presence and occasional cockblocking...
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I can't provide advice, but you're not alone.
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>>17810149
To be clear, the girl isn't the root of literally all my problems. I've done my share of self sabotage, but I've come to realize ever since she forced herself into my life things have slowly gone to shit. I didn't realize for a very long time that I was effectively in an angry, sexless, one-way relationship that took a major toll on me.

Also is tinder just a meme, or can you actually have success with it?
>not Chad but decently attractive
>>
I came here looking for answers because but found none

I am also in a rut

It seems like we both need to stop abusing substances

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How does one go about becoming buddhist, where would I start and what does being buddhist really consists of?
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1. Buddhist is a pretty vague term, that's like saying you want to be Christian, but there are so many denominations.

Mahayana, Hinayana, Theravada, Zen, Pure Land and Nichiren to name a few. Do some research, shop around.

2. In general, following the 5 precepts is a good place to start as that's common across pretty much every Buddhist tradition. Practices vary from sect to sect. Meditation is the most widely associated with Buddhism, but there is also studying sutras/koans, reciting mantras, walking meditation and some other things I can't bring...
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>>17810159
Out of all the different types which one is best suited for the modern day person, the person that wants to be enlightened but still maintain a lifestyle apart from the religion like not shaving your head for the sake of argument (I am aware that only monks do this) and other similar major lifestyle changes, I am open to change of diet and smaller practices.
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>>17810211
There is no sect best suited to the modern day person. There is the sect and the way best suited to you personally. I can't give you the answers.

If you can't be bothered to put forth the effort to study Buddhism on your own, what makes you think you'll put forth the effort to reach enlightenment? Please make no mistake, Buddhism is a hard path to follow and not one you should jump into willy-nilly because enlightenment sounds nice.

No one saves us but ourselves.
No one can and no...
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My crush knows that I have feelings for her. She's ignoring me all the time after she found out about it.
I decided to talk to her and waited outside of the building. She came out and then I approached her. I said her name but she walked past me. I've never felt more humiliated in my whole life. Not because pretty much every one saw it, but because she walked away without saying a single word.
Then I recieved a text saying "and what "

I replied with" I need to tell you something in person." but she responded "No, now", which...
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>>17810134
lmao my man you dun goof'd

not much you can do, I assume you're young, so just keep your shit together and don't spill any more spaghetti.
Don't do anything drastic, or anything more at all, just keep your cool. People like to mock "desperate" guys, so just chill.

The girl's not important anymore and is obviously uninterested, so just make sure you look after yourself and your own image. You don't want to be remembered as that guy.
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>>17810134
It's not going to happen. Get over it and move on. Sorry pal.

Are you in high school? If so take this as a lesson. No girl will ever go for you if you lay yourself on a platter like that. Girls like the thrill of the chase. You have to make them somewhat interested first, then make them think they can't have you. Then you can think about being honest about your feelings.
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>>17810134

She's not into you, doesn't want any part in your drama and just wants you to leave her alone. These are not unreasonable requests. It is also better for you if you keep your distance. Give yourself time to get over her. Understandably you feel like shit right now, but no one deserves to be treated the way she treats you. With time you'll realise this, too. She's not the only girl in the world, and believe me or not, most of then aren't such massive bitches. You can do better. Now just...
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My therapist told me to ask myself who i am. Wtf is that supposed to mean? How do i find myself?
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>>17810115
It means you should ask yourself a bunch of questions that will reveal your core characteristics. Questions that go beyond what your job, clothes, age and nationality are.
Ask yourself stuff along the following lines and see if you can answer it.
What are you passionate about?
What do you never wanna change about yourself?
What do you want to change about yourself?
What do you live for?
Etc.
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>>17810115
It means it's a shitty therapist
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>>17810129
Allright. Thx bro.

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So my girlfriend of 4 years and I are growing distant.

A while ago we just had another fight about the same old problem, my sister.

What happened was my sister and my gf were the closest friends, until she saw my sister talking behind her back that I should reconsider my gf(because my gf told my sister that I should kill myself).

Then my gf got mad at me for not defending her and it just got worse and worse, that was 2 years ago and we're still fighting over it.

Another thing is that I wasn't able to go to her birthday because my family...
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>>17810105
how old are you exactly, and don't lie pls, mods won't ban you
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>>17810204
We both just turned 18 this year
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>>17810105
>because my gf told my sister that I should kill myself
>expects you to side with her when your sister fought her in your defense
What kind of batshit insane girlfriend is this? Your sister had your back and will always be there for you. Drop dat hoe.

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Heya. I am a 23-year-old guy and I prefer women in the 28-33 age range. I really don't know why but I tend to prefer them to the girls that are my age or younger. I am not going to go on a tirade about maturity because age doesn't correlate to it.


Is this normal?
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thats the hottest age range, maybe it isn''t maturity like you said-of the females, but the way the attention feels from a "slightly" older person of the opposite sex?

regardless of the reason yes it is normal, enjoy it, chase it, live in it because you will get older and change- and sooner or later that particular spark will too.
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>>17810101
Same age as you bruh
Nothing abnormal about liking an experienced girl
Sometimes you want a break from annoying teenage girls
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>>17810101
I usually went out with girls younger than me me they were all shit plastic people , then age 25 went out with a 32 year old , now i'm 30 shes 36 and its been the best relationship ever .And I once had a one night stand with a 44 year old when I was 24 and it was HOT HOT HOT , get in there friendo as long as they care about you , (look how they treat their family and friends)

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My girlfriend wears little to nothing at raves, thong, fishnets, bra and shoes are it. Am I just being a possessive asshole or is this crossing the line? I feel pretty torn on this. On one hand hey, do what you want I trust you. I have faith. But on the other hand why the fuck do you have to show your ass to a few hundred random strangers?
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>>17810084
>But on the other hand why the fuck do you have to show your ass to a few hundred random strangers?

For attention. It's up to you if you want this kind of girlfriend.
>>
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>>17810084

>Am I just being a possessive asshole or is this crossing the line?

She's into raves. People at raves dress skimpy and ridiculously. Its apart of the culture, for whatever reason. If your girlfriend is dressing like this just for fun, you trust her and she isn't off hitting on other guys then I don't get why it would upset you. I mean, it wouldn't upset me. Thats just me, personally.

Other people seeing your girlfriend's buttcheeks doesn't...
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>>17810088
She's a bad ass. Has helped more than anything. And I intend to marry the fuck out of her. She claims it's because it gets so fucking hot there. Which I guess I understand. But holy fuck. A thong and a bra?

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So I recently found out that my girlfriend is into rape/being forced (consensually ofc; yes I know that's contradictory). She prefers to use condoms but I know it wouldn't be the end of the world (for her; we talked about it) even though she's a bit reluctant.

I'm planning on randomly forcing myself on her one day soon. Is it a good idea to just go bareback? Also how effective is plan B?
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>>17810046
End of the world without one*
>>
This isnt something you just spring on someone. Stuff like a safety word is important for a reason.
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>>17810059
She told me she's into this stuff though. Of course you have to gauge the mood beforehand, but how exactly do you rape-play while not forcing it?

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My girlfriend is so passive in our relationship. I'm constantly driving the relationship, initiating all forms of contact, sharing affection, trying to connect on a deeper level. I've tried talking to her about her passiveness and she promises to change but then nothing. Her passiveness even extends to her stopping most of her hobbies since we started dating despite my encouragement.

I'm starting to think all this means she doesn't like me because of her passivity and a few other tells: small things like she will say she'll do something but nearly...
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>>17810044
Checked.

How old are you both?
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>>17810052
We're both 26 and we've both been in long term relationships before. Her last bf apparently cheated on her which might explain her actions. I haven't really asked too many details.
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>>17810058
26? See if she was younger I would say that she's discovering who she is. But she might just be a lazy person deep down. There's plenty of people who don't have any creative hobbies my man. It's up to you if you want that in your woman. The unfulfilling job and the lack of a desire to change it though is a huge red flag for me.

I'm a compulsive liar, and I always lie even when telling the truth is better.
And after I do I hate myself for it.
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Google borderline
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>>17810028
then stop hating youself.
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>>17810028
Do you expect us to believe that?

I have to wait a long ass time for a breast ultrasound (months)

Meanwhile I have to live with the severe anxiety over my breast abnormalities and the uncertainty about what's going on

How do I deal with this stress?
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>>17810013
What 3rd world shithole are you in that it takes that long to get an ultrasound? Why not get a mammogram?
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>>17810017
UK
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>>17810024
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

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Hey guys
I have a date in a restaurant on friday evening with my gf and I'm ready to tell her that I love her. What's the best way to say it?
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>>17810010
Interpretive dance
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>>17810010
Smoke signals
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>>17810012
>>17810018
I wish I knew how to do that. normalfag here

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Hypothetically speaking, what could happen if I performed abortions in Latin-America, spesifically El Salvador and Guatemala?
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>>17809979
Women who didn't want to go through with a pregnancy would have the option of you fishing it out.
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>>17809979
Has nobody on 4chan ever heard of Google?

I just googled "abortions el salvador" and found dozens of reports on the legal ban and on people fighting it.

Did trying that REALLY never occur to you?
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>>17809979
>locking carabiner
>somehow ending up in a stupid circumstance like this
What did they mean by this?

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Everytime I'm in distress. Very distress. I'll beg every thought to escape my reality. But no help is needed. My helps watches me. It's true.

Im bisexual because I can't get a gf, got no friends and I'm always stressed. It's funny cause i never thought I would think such an offer.

My offer was to suck his dick. I'll call him reality. So much stress I had to cut my hair off. Reality has me in a cage ....

I can't seem to express my feelings that I bottle it up. I bottle it up so much that I get dysfunctional sexual urges...
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>>17809967
Did you lose a bet or something?
>>
To an answer like that. Not particular.

If you ever felt held hostage forever. What would you do to them to let you be free? In reality you can't. So I thought of myself to say. I'll even suck they're penis to be free....

It's the reality I need to let go since it is comming to me .

I'd be a fool..but....

I know that this sounds funny XD

but it's serious....
>>
I've been having issues since 4 years.

Is having homosexual urges to break free normal??

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Help me. I work full time in a small office with a clique of lazy and entitled people who have no work ethic whatsoever and they refuse to do work which falls directly in my lap. When the new kids first came onto my shift we were chummy for the most part but I started to see that things weren't as they seemed when they would all sneak off to lunch together and bring back food without asking me if I'd like any, or otherwise attempting to include me. This was after I had paid big bucks for pizza parties for all of us and doing the ordering and pickup myself. So now not...
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>>17809966
Just don't do their jobs

Work at your own pace. If things don't get done on time they're not firing the person who does their job?

Join a gym and start lifting.

Stop being a bitch, they were never your friends. Move on only deal with them professionally. Document it if they harass you about doing their work.

Don't say no or don't be rude just brush things off like 'yeah I'll get around to it' or 'Just a second man'

Then keep doing...
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>>17809966
what if you refuse to do the extra work thats clearly too much for you to handle?
>>
>>17809966
>>17809986
Just pretty much what they're doing

Even if they're right in front of you don't give them your full attention. You're your own head honcho.

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/adv/, I'm in a pretty solid relationship but it occurred to me that I'm an adult with money and my own place who could be living the dream as a weeb shitlord sleeping with a hugging pillow of my waifu every night and blowing copious amounts of money on doujinshi and onaholes.

Am I making the wrong choice?
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fuck no. just dont spend the money, download it for free. sure get a high dollar onahole. the question is

ARE you a bad enough motherfucker to do all that AND fuck bitches???
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>>17810026
Cmon, you know internet doujinshi isn't the same.

(That's oddly poignant otherwise tho)
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>>17810273
you are right

[thanks]

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Idk if my relationships coming to an end so I need some help if possible
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>>17809927

What's wrong OP?
>>
well. give us more info. How long have you been dating , how old are you all, why do you think its ending.
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>>17809934
>>17809935
To be honest I think it just might be me being self conscious about losing her. I love this girl to death and I'd do anything for her. We've been going out for a year and two months. Both been faithful to each other but recently things haven't really been too good. I understand a relationship isn't supposed to be argument free and all but recently we've been getting in to a lot of bad arguments where we both just end up verbally...
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at school theirs 1 girl that i always have had a thing for. we used to be really good friends and she still hangs out with my group and talks to everyone but a few months back i told her that i like her and she didn't really talk to for a few weeks then she started talking to me again then my family went on holidays and when i got back she talked to me a lot (mainly because her best friend wasn't there) and the next day her friend came she still was talking to then a few weeks went by and she started to futher away from me than i started to get really anxious again...
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>>17809868
learn to use punctuation. I'm prone to stream of consciousness type writing when on the internet too, but holy shit dude. that's an entire paragraph with zero punctuation.
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>>17809876
sorry i never use punctuation on the inernet
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>>17809892
You should fuck off until you start. Nobody is going to read a vomited mess of text.

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Hate my new job. No one to talk to. Don't fit into the area they designated me to

What do?
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won't let me delete my thread. Oh well
>>
Itll be ok man. What kind of job is it?
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>>17809862
tough it out ,you will get there in the end , focus on work and your responsibilities , theres bound to be something you have in common with the people around you , start by asking people about their weekends and stuff , people like to talk so give them a chance to . if you looked at me you would probably think i'm a normie til you got to know me

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hey guys, what are the chances of me getting into a UC (university of california) with a gpa of 2.75 for biology? Am I fucked?
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transfer student too btw
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>>17809853
>2.75

How?
>>
>>17809859
got master tier in league lmao so worth?

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I fell in love with someone in my dreams last night and when I woke up (obviously) they weren't there.

I have reason to believe this was a composite of several people I've known in my life and not someone real.

I also have reason to believe that this is due to my extreme loneliness and social isolation.

But I still feel as though I really met the love of my life in some chance encounter last night and that I'll never see them again, because it wasn't real. I'm heartbroken, pls halp D:
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>>17809827
Help with what? In a few weeks you probably wont be able to remember exactly what they looked like
>>
>>17809827
I've had dreams of having an intense connection with an individual that doesn't exist. It felt amazing and so intense. I kept thinking about her after I woke up, even hoped to see her again and continue this in a lucid dream if I could get one.

While I didn't forget about her, the feeling just went away. I don't really care about the dream anymore but it was a cool experience. It was only one dream because I didn't succeed in seeing her again.

It makes me sad to know that people...
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>>17809855
Love is about more than looks, anon

>>17809866
>cool experience
>don't feel bad and don't feel lonely
ye, ur right anon. I am amazed that firstly it's possible but secondly that it's not a unique phenomena then again nothing is

Rationally, of course, I can recognize that it's ridiculous and already details of the dream are fading, though part of me wishes I...
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Are all boyfriends just destined to eventually be less attracted to their girlfriends? To want to have sex with other, newer girls, more than their girlfriend?

I have a psych class and the professor was talking about how eventually people, especially men, become habituated to their significant others. and that's why people cheat and have wondering eyes or just stop having sex.

I'm very terrified that someday my boyfriend will become bored of me and we will never have sex, and he will cheat, or leave me, or just be dissatisfied for the rest of his life.
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Check out the subreddit redpillwomen
Looks weird at first but they have some pretty good relationship tips
>>
>>17809817
It is normal to eventually become habituated to your SO, yes.
This doesn't mean that there's nothing you can do about it or that he'll end up cheating or being dissatisfied.

Keep yourself attractive. Be in shape, take care of your hair and your skin, shave. Don't be too much of a sloth around him - even if you're alone at home with him, put some effort into what you are wearing. Put effort into the way you look when you go out together.
Keep your sex life interesting. Put out....
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nice projection there from the prof
no obviously not, otherwise everyone would cheat
which is not the case

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I have a bug bit on my leg

Please help with diagnosis
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Google it
>>
it's the new zika/aids hybrid. you're fucked.
>>
>>17809768
To no avail

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I am not sure how to go about this.

I was told in order to heal from my past I have to come to terms with it. I have seen many physiologists but have never felt comfortable around any of them. My farther has PTSD I am considering telling him about it because I think he will understand me best but I am really afraid to.

I am a 24 year old female and when I was 9 I met Olvia she was four years older than me and my parents disliked her and I never understood as to why. When I moved when I was 12 I was bully badly even by teachers Olvia was the only friend I had and she manipulated me. It got to the point where she had full control over me and started getting me take naked pictures of myself and send them to people online for money she of course got all the money but she still remain my friend. I continued doing this until I was 14 I feel ashamed with myself and I still do to this day. It is hard to explain how much control she had over me the best I can explain is that I felt I would die without her friendship because she "protected" me. The odd occasion I would get the men who saw the pictures finding my personal information and trying to blackmail me which made me nervous of anyone putting anything about me online as I got older. I stopped talking to her when I was 17 and told no one of it.

Last thing that eats away at me I do not really want to explain in detail, all I have to say is when I was 19 I caught my now ex taking pictures of me and having sex with me while he thought I was asleep.

I am not really sure what I should do just typing this makes me feel ashamed.
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I think the first thing you need to do is remove any notion of guilt or shame. You were very young, and this older girl obviously manipulated you into doing these things that you feel ashamed of. Yes, there were warning signs and events that would have made others jump ship earlier, but you were young and afraid.

Your ex is a piece of shit, no doubt. No person with a shred of moral dignity would do that to another person.

May I ask you what attracted you to your ex? I only ask because I think your answer will help you come to terms with your past.
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>>17809766
I am happily married now my husband is nothing like my ex so you do not have to worry about future abuse Anon at least.

He was very controlling and a lot like her. Even though I hate her I feel weak and it has taken me a lot not to get back in contact with her.
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>>17809784
I'm really glad to hear that. It sounds like you have already done a lot of work in dealing with this emotionally if you have found a loving husband, very admirable.

Do you still find yourself somewhat drawn to personalities like her in your friend circles or workplace? And what were your parents up to during your teen years?

Please list out most of the red flags in men/women.
I really need help with this.
Thanks in advance.
116 replies and 11 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17809702
>Breathing
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>tattoos
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>>17809708
>drinking water

File: image.jpg (14 KB, 300x168) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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So earlier tonight, I'm attempting to unlock a phone connected to my gf's gmail when I discovered that she saved her pw when she used chrome. I'm not the snooping type, I was really just trying to get this phone unlocked (she said i could have it), but during the process I came across an email she sent this dude back in may.

I don't know how far this affair has gone, but the way the email was typed sounded like he meant a lot to her or some shit. We have been living together this whole time and I've been putting up with mountains of shit from...
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Wow sounds like you had a really fucked up relationship from the get-go there, friend.
Sounds like you should of walked away from that crazy bitch and sued for custody, but you didn't.

And now you're a cuck.
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>>17809707
Yeah I know it's painful as fuck knowing that I put up with her for that long only to find the worst thing possible was happening behind my back.

I thought it was best for the kid to keep trying to make it work. I regret not reporting the abuse earlier, especially now. I can't believe I wasted ten years of my life dealing with it when I could have had a shot at custody then. I was always worried though because on paper I look like a loser, even though I make more than her.
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>stay together 'for the kid'
>don't actually want to stay together otherwise
>she doesn't really like you, you don't really like her
>wonder why she's 'cheating'

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Need some info: Can you queue reblogs/likes on Tumblr? Gf says "Blah blah blah have to go do this shit so busy" and then I see her reblogging and liking shit on Tumblr for an hour. She says it's just her setting up her queue. I don't use Tumblr, but I can't find anything that says you can queue reblogs.
8 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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yes you can.
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You can queue your posts, but not your likes.
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Yes you can queue and schedule reblogs. Also I find this disturbing if your girlfriend is busy don't stalk her tumblr... that's not the sign of a healthy relationship. Give her space man


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