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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 650. page
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OK /adv/ how do I ask my friend for a favor again without seeming like, or actually being, a jerk?

I have a crush on a qt who works in a cafe. Luckily for me, my friend knows most of the people in the cafe, and has lots of mutual friends with the qt barista. So I asked her for the hook-up. She was excited to help and was going to take me to a show where all that crowd would probably be, and if that failed, said she'd come to the cafe with me and introduce me to the people there and hopefully this would lead to meeting the barista.

Unfortunately, right when...
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I've decided to cut videogames, porn, sugar, social media and most online distractions all at once and I'm going fucking insane.

It's been only four days and I can barely get anything done. I've decided to kill time with books, movies, stand-up comedy and exercise, but I can't get 10 minutes into any of those without wandering, thinking about some porn actress or asking myself what people I know must be up to on Facebook.

Without porn it also seems that I've been getting more erections, and every movie and TV show has at least one...
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It'll be really difficult for a couple weeks. After a month or so you'll find less struggle. A few more months after that and you're clean.
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>>17409165
>I've decided to cut videogames, porn, sugar, social media and most online distractions
and yet here you are
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>>17409172
Are you speaking from experience?

If so, is there anything I can do to ease the tension? I genuinely don't think I can last months of this.

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Really trivial matter here but I have noticed that my girlfriend uses endearing names and terms we use on each other on her own friends, is this normal? For example she sometimes messages in front of me and ill be overlooking and notice her say things like "hello my love" or "my soul mate" or "love of my life" or even just straight out "i love you so much" and other things like that, I'm not sure why it bothers me cause its stupid but i feel like it detracts from when she says those things to me, and basically only leaves sex as the...
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>>17409164
What? Is this bait?
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>>17409170

This is to her girl friends fyi, if you assumed it was to other guys
>>
yes, common. I mean not these terms specifically or anything but this kind of jokey devotion is very normal.

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What should I do /adv/?

I want to kill myself, but it's not because I'm sad, lonely and insecure about every facet of my exsitence, but not entirely sad. I'm really bored with life.
I've traveled, I have good friends and family, and I'm very privileged.

I don't want to hurt my family or friends, and I want them to know I left this earth, reality, world, dimension, whatever you would like to label it, in a good light.
How do I let them know that their son, brother, friend is going to kill themselve without completely destroying...
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>>17409154
By telling them that you're about to do something you'll regret and you need help
>>
Fake an accident
>>
>join military
>get through basic
>get sent to some shithole desert
>charge into battle at the first firefight you encounter


your family now has a hero to remember rather than the actual piece of shit they had that just got bored of life

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What's the best way to approach this guy I don't know, on facebook?

He's in the army and was used in a promo video for a school I will be attending. I swear I didn't put a lot of effort into stalking- just a quick google search of his name.

I personally think it would be weird to contact him, but it's the first time I'm feeling anything since I started taking adhd medication.
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Contacting him isn't that weird. You don't even have to tell him how you found him, but if he asks be honest because that's not too odd of a thing. Be a normal human being about it. He's only human, too.
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>>17409145
You do realize that the promo may have been made ten years ago and that he's probably married with kids by now.
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>>17409175
Thanks. I might have made the situation more compilated in my head, than it actually is, because I went through the trouble of tracking him down.

>>17409456
It's one of those "I just graduated, here's what I do now!" videos and It got uploaded 7 months ago, so I don't think there have been any crazy changes

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Hey /adv,
I have a long distance friend that has some bad depression. I talk to him via: IM and skype everyday, and play video games with him almost everyday. Sometimes he talks to me about how he feels and so far all i've done really is listen. I know listening is a really good thing to do already, but what can else can i do to help him, considering were a long distance apart?
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>>17409144
Listen and distract. Those are the two big ones (matter of L and D). So playing video games w/ him is good and learning how to actively listen is good.
I just stopped volunteering for suicide prevention and the main goal is to keep them talking without talking in circles. Things like "what about her did you like?" are what you want to be asking, to help them delve to the heart of their problems and work through it (so all the juicy questions). This is more long-term than an emergency response, so of...
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Happened about an hour ago. She was shot in the face/legs. Apparently he'd been beating her for years (just moved here). They had two kids.

This is highly strange in my neighborhood btw, and I've never lived anywhere too rough, so I'm not desensitized or anything.

Thing is I don't really feel any profound empathy. I'm most bummed out that this just makes too much sense, but it's not profound or anything.

Thing is after all the adrenaline of hitting the floor (there was 6 shots) and turning off my lights, I'm just pretty...
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At least you don't have to hear them arguing. For him to have shot her, that bitch must really not have known when to shut the fuck up.
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>>17409143
Quote from a doctor: "This is a completely normal reaction to a completely abnormal scenario and the emotional side effects usually show up a few hours or days later."
This means you are a complete fucking normie, congratulations.
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>>17409146
>there was 6 shots
yeah, man, like wtf, she still kept going after 5 shots

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Just broke up with my s/o of 5+ years. We started dating in middle school and dated all through highschool. I dont know what to fucking do with myself. Im sitting on a bench in the middle of the night just grossly sobbing because i dont want to go home (theres so many pictures of us at my house, along with gifts and other shit). It took a good 3 hours for the shock of it all to pass, and when it finally hit me, it hit me hard. They were my first everything; kiss etc. I basically grew up with them. We did everything together. What the fuck do i do now?

>tl;dr...
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This won't be easy. But killing yourself isn't won't fix anything.

All you can really do for now is exist, and when the time is right allow yourself to start healing.
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Oh OP, this is going to be a pain, and it may last a few months, if not a year. Like >>17409147 said, all you can do is exist. Get away from her and anything that reminds her of you. Go out and develop yourself. And don't date again until you truly are ready.
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It's going to be very hard because now you're single again. You're on your own. Even if you live with your family, you're independent now, with no girlfriend at your side influencing you or your life. You're back to square one and you've lived so long as a couple, always by her side, that it will feel tremendously lonely, like you don't know what to do with yourself. The fact is that most people after having such a relationship can never stay single, they have to find a new relationship to get in the same situation again. It's a comfort...
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How does one move to a large city without a college degree and only being qualified for security
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Get a security job in the city.
Hopefully not the city in the op though, trust me don't get stuck in that cesspool. I saw two homeless dudes smoking meth on 39th st not two days ago in broad daylight.

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I have mental illness im not sure how to define. basically ever since i was around 12-13 i was able to trick myself into thinking certain doom would happen to me. i was going to die on the street, im going to get into a car accident, i will be shot, im going to have a heart attack, things like this. whether or not the fear is warranted or legitimate has nothing to do with it. when i was younger this would give me panic attacks which would lead to me having a feeling of being disconnected from the real world.

Fast fowards about 10 years later i havent had a panic attack...
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>mental disorder
>panic attacks
Wow its panic disorder go to the doctor

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Is there a way of getting a vasectomy without my wife noticing?
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Not unless you dont see her for 2 weeks during the recovery period.

Plus some places require your partners consent aswell. Dont ask me why... but something to do with marriage and if she wants kids.
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Scissors and your left hand
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>>17409083
Just microwave your balls while she's away

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I want interaction with people that I can just go talk to in a group. I want to do this at night. I mostly seek comfort from my anxiety. I just want to feel like someone in a community somewhere. Where do kind hearted people stay? I get heavily nervous and I'm looking for ways to calm down. Does anyone have mental tricks that work for them that calm down? Like thinking a certain way with a technique? Someone once told me to say one word that I really want and focus it. What gives you comfort to think about?
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Step one is some form of depressant drug, probably a benzo of some sort. Then you stop pussy footing around and start going out and doing shit
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Hey OP!
I do have many tricks to help me calm down.
Focusing on your breathing is one of them, feeling the air touch the inner part of ur nose and travel all the way to ur lungs, and you feel all your upper body expand, and then contract back as the air goes out.

The idea in this exercise is not to think of anything, but just feel. Concentrate in your body as if watching it as you feel the body motion of breathing. This is a kind of meditation if you keep doin it for a long time, you'll enter a state of consciousness that's different.
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>>17409700
It's also important to breath deep, and it helps to inhale for the same time you keep the air in, out and exhale.

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So I've come to realize that I have this thing about me that leads me to want to fill a protector roles in my relationships. Whether it be co-workers, family, romantic interests, or just friends - both males and female as well.

Its almost on a fetishistic level I feel, not sexual though, where it gives me this sort of body high to know I can protect someone from something. Its almost like some sort of White Knight Syndrome gone awry and now I sacrifice my own best interest for this feeling.

I'm a male, early twenties - I usually fall for women who come...
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>>17409063
pretty normal.
They even made games about it
>>
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It's more normal than you seem to think. It's something you should also keep in check though. You may have good intentions, but people generally prefer to have a friend who supports them when they fall down rather than someone who tries to keep them from stumbling to begin with. Then there's the whole issue where you admit you're sacrificing yourself for others. A healthy supportive relationship is mutually beneficial.
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>>17409063
I'd probably be like you if I wasn't a maladjusted weak beta faggot.

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I just don't get it. 90% of my life was a loner experience. It is really hard to get along with people and I don't understand alot about being social, which is why my recent attempts on talking to people was very cringy awkward situations. Last year I wanted to change and actually develop a social life. The road has been very bumpy and have not gotten any easier. IMy bad social skills is the reason why I have a crappy relationships within the family.

Most nights I sit up and think hard on why I was so awkward in the daily attempts to be social. I can clearly...
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http://www.succeedsocially.com
This is a really good site for many social situations and I'm hopeful that it will help.

As far as my own advice- find and ask about common interests with others and discuss those. If nothing else, ask what that person's going to do today- for me, this almost always leads to more discussion material.
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>>17409070
Thanks. I never went out to actually discussed something of similar interest. I just ended up finding something I thought was a common,
Thanks. Sounds like sound advice.

I used to keep to myself alot. I am putting to use the advice given. Don't know how long it will take but hopefully less than a year to become moderate with talking to people.

I just hate that I fucked up in the family. Literally a shit situation and getting all types of hell for being the lowest common denominator. Didn't...
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I was similat to you OP.
Socializing is a skill... and like any skill you wish to learn strengthen and improve on you must do it.

Now youve probably heard the " start out with customer service because they are paid to be nice"
This is 100% true. Go to your supermarket\grocery store and practice on them. While your inline waiting pay attention to how others are interacting with the checkout operator.

I was shithouse at holding a convo with people until i was forced to do it for work and i didnt have time to sit in my head thinking of probable out...
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So a few months ago my old PC broke beyond repair, and the tech put my old HD into my new computer. I found my old files once my looking at recently viewed where I guess the tech looked to make sure ti was installed properly, but I forgot how to access the old drive- want to find my chrome bookmarks which failed to sync. From what I remember it was under something like Users/previousPCname, but I can't find it now, and the drive is not shown in the directory next to C. Any idea how to locate it?
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I'm in C:\Users now, but only the new PC name is shown. I clearly remember being in a directory that had my old PC name, but forgot about it after I moved my files over
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>>17409067
Probably
C:\windows.old
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>>17409109
>C:\windows.old
Didn't work.

current PC is Windows 10, old was Windows 7

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>be me
>cut both of my thighs
>fucking blood everywhere
>i hate myself since i was 12
i dont know what to do with my life
i have nothing at all
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Okay friend, what advice are you looking for on? Life direction?
>>
Get a hobby that involves other people, like music (concerts, playing in a band), mtg, if you have any interests try finding similar people online. Just make some friends. Also go to a psychologist asap.
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>cut both my thighs
>fucking blood everywhere
>better post on /adv/ first
Call an ambulance retard

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how do I expose an actual conspiracy without getting arrested?
I'm not some kind of snowden but I found out about some insanely fucked up shit in my job and I don't really know what to do about it.
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Post it here OP
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>>17409055
>>17408963
Posting it here is actually a really good idea. Use a VPN if you can, but no one should be able to trace it back to you.
>>
>>17409064
Too late for that, he should've done that in a cafe

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After several failed long-term relationships, I am finally ready to have a relationship that lasts, including marriage and children.

I have started talking to a 6.5/10 face / 7.5/10 body chick online. Her personality is interesting and she is sweet, but her physical appearance is just kind of cute.

Now am I doing something wrong with "dating down" or below my league, for the primary reason of dating someone who will appreciate my love and won't leave me? What are the potential drawbacks of this strategy, other than falling out of lust more quickly...
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Since you're clearly only interested in the packaging just stay a bachelor.

You do not want to settle down with someone if you are honestly asking this question. You will regret it and so will she.
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>>17408941
Literally no drawback OP. They will appreciate you a lot more and you don't have to put up with nearly as much bullshit. They are more generous in bed as well.
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>>17408941

Who cares what someone looks like if you're going to get married? Spoilers: you're both going to get old.

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I just hate the fact of having children and a wife. I don't even have a gf for fuck's sake. I'm still an immature kid who isn't ready for those stupid things. This is one of the reasons why I bought my own house just so I can live far away from my shit parents. Jesus Fuck, it's 2016, and people still marry?
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>>17408933
What do you want advice for
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>>17408935
He's not looking for advice, he's looking to whine. No friends, no romantic partner, doesn't talk to the parents... where else is he going to go?

Probably be better to hang out with the robots though.
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>>17408935
Just venting it out, bro. I fuck girls, but avoid having kids as much as possible.

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Is film school entirely worthless?
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You have to make art before you can sell it.
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Having watched Dawson's Creek in its entirety, I'd say yes. Filmmakers go make films and intern with productions, stupid hipsters and cucks go to film school.
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>>17408913
>Is film school entirely worthless?

No, but it's not necessarily going to lead to anything worthwhile. Depends on the person: their talent, intellectual capacity, and drive.

>tfw she just lashes out at you for no real reason

I don't know what to do anymore
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Today I texted my wife because I wanted to make plans for the weekend. She misinterpreted the message and it became an hour long fight about me never talking to her before making plans.
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>>17408918
so, just kill myself then?
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>>17408921
You've spent too much time on /b/ if you take 'hey friend were in the same boat' as an invitation to kys

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Tomorrow will be the first time I'm going to have a booth at a local art festival. Basically, my nerves are running rampant even though I'm pretty prepared.

Does anyone have any experience doing art festivals and can give me some last-minute advice?
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>>17408896
be friendly, smiling, easily accessible; too many "artists" at these places sit in the back of their booth reading, on their phone, etc and people don't want to talk to them. engage with people in conversation about your art, but not in a douchey self-absorbed way. try and get far away from anyone doing similar stuff otherwise the competition will be really annoying.
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>>17408994

Sounds good! I was thinking of maybe doing a live painting session possibly too.
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>>17408896
It will be brutal. There is a reason why many artists just eventually sit back. Local fairs or art markets are for (desu) artists that can't get representation, and this is incredibly challenging because without representation you face all the rejection yourself and without representation you basically have to put yourself and your work out there to get it sold. this experience, along with the nerves of not understanding your own value, really really makes it hard to keep up morale. This is why most artists...
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im a social retard that cant think on my feet

how do I flirt without just giving compliments
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>>17408874
>how do I flirt without just giving compliments

Extended eye contact, close proximity, teasing
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>>17408874
brush up against a cute girl so she can feel your stiff man meat

this is what guys mean when they say girls like confident men. they don't like nice boys that say they're pretty and shit, you have to be primal
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>>17409115
eh, tried that when I was 13, we've been with each other ever since.

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So I am a girl at uni. A while ago, this guy who went to my primary school messaged me (his dad was friends with my dad). Apparently a few of my peers from primary school ended up at the same uni as me. I left my primary school at grade 4. Back then there wasn't Facebook and I didn't keep in touch with them.
I haven't talked to these guys for nine years. This guy seems interested in organizing a reunion but I don't really want to go - it all seems too long ago ang honestly I forgot most of my experiences in primary school. I feel bad for not wanting to...
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>>17408863
No, you absolutely should not feel guilty. It's not like when you entered school you entered a lifetime bond with these guys. Just politely decline then be on your way, no big deal.
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>>17408884
They invited me to their WhatsApp group and I see then liking my stuff on Facebook though
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>>17408907
So they're trying to reconnect. At that point, it comes down to whether you really want to reconnect or not. If so, do, but if not, you have no obligation to respond. Decline app requests and don't worry about what they do on Facebook - if it really bothers you, you can block them.
Basically what I'm getting at is you don't really owe them anything. Just do what makes you feel the most comfortable.

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Hi, femanon here, i have a question to male part of this board.
I have very thin skin. It has lots of flaws, especially the fact i can't really shave on flexions(when hair start growing back it cuts trough my skin and causes infections). Do you find it very unappealing when women don't shave there? My armpits don't look like chewbacca's, but you get the point.
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Honestly, ya, it's kinda gross.
>>
Eh, I don't really care, as long as you don't stink.
>>
First of all, this should have just gone in the "ask the opposite gender" thread

Second, yeah it's kinda unappealing but I guess I can understand if you've got reasons to not do it.

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25 year old anon here, will try to keep this short. Trying to find a job that will improve society the most.

I'm struggling to figure out what I should be doing with my life. Currently in military because it was an easy job to get.

I have zero ambitions. Don't care about making money, don't care about starting a family, and have no passions except reading books.

I'm fairly intelligent and people tell me I shouldn't be wasting my time in the military constantly. So I've been thinking of jobs that would help the most people...
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Obviously doctor.
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But your point 2 about politicians is false. Politicians are regular people, and most of the methods they use are above board. Furthermore, politicians start making a difference immediately.
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>>17408855
I know two family members who got into politics in Georgia. Both were removed from positions by higher ups because they would not ignore blatant personal use of state tax money by mayors. That wasn't even at the state legislature level where people start tossing around millions.

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I am seething, absolutely seething with rage.
Me and my gf broke up a week and a half ago, she said I wasn't spending enough time with her and wasn't giving her attention, I tried my best to convince her otherwise and tried to do anything to fix our problems, at first things seemed like they would be okay, got home after and she told me to come over again the next night, I did and she broke up with me
I noticed before we broke up she was texting some guy a lot, thought nothing of it, I try not to be a jealous person. Then I took her to work one day, and afterwards...
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(cont) She has been watching our family dog, I went over today and picked him up for a play day, I just got back from taking him back, she came out and we got to talking and then all of the sudden that guy came out of her house and stood there and said "everything all right" and we just stood there, I didn't say anything, just starred, he started to go back in and she turned towards me and I just said bye and walked away, got in my car and sped off really fast, she texted me telling me to drive safe, told her she doesn't care, she said she does whether I...
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>>
As much as it fucking hurts, you have to be a grown-up and move on.
>>
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You should look at it like this: you're getting away clean, no kids, no child support, no alimony, only 3 years wasted.

And you may be able to get the dog, if I read the sitch correctly.

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Sup guys, there is this feeling that I've been having for quite some time now, I just don't want to live anymore, everything seems pointless and I rather quit everything.
The problem is that even though I have this feeling I haven't been able to kill myself, so I figured out is because I'm not feeling depressed enough to do it, that's why I need help.

Please make me feel bad, tell me all the reasons why I should kill myself, post tragic shit, make me feel like garbage, prove me life is pointless, do as you please as long as it helps me feel...
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Tragically, the universe was not put here for you.
>>
There's no such thing as souls.
>>
This is a real children's book.

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here's my situation

>working on a boat
>2 weeks ago, airport lost my luggage
>only get to the fucking usa once a week for debark
>everybody's pretending to help but no one actually cares
>fucking american airlines tells me it's in miami, then no it's in new york, then oh we can't locate it

I am going mad. I am going to the airport tomorrow and i am paying a fucking expensive taxi...
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Just keep calling around, they have it.
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>>17408781
then why don't they tell me exactly where it is? i'll probably waste my time and my money tomorrow as well :(
>>
>>17408775
By law,if they lose your luggage they have to pay you for it. On top of that they also have to supply you with necessaries (toiletries, sometimes even new clothes) for the first few days. And they have to deliver the bags to you when they find them, not make you come to the airport.

Send them a bill for new clothes, the cab ride and any other expenses they caused you.

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I turned 30 and I'm a virgin. So now I'm a wizard.

Does this mean I won't ever have sex now? I have a girlfriend due to me trying to improve myself, it's just that my birthday fell way before we ever got to fuck. Now what the hell do I do?
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>>17408762
put it in breh
Feel her up, escalate, escalate,
if she says no. Stop. Escalate...later.
>>
>>17408769
How? I thought a wizard can't do that.

Also what happens to the whole wizard thing after actually doing it?
>>
1/10 replying to bait thread

>>17408762
> I have a girlfriend due to me trying to improve myself, it's just that my birthday fell way before we ever got to fuck.

You have a girlfriend but your not having sex? Is she an uber-Christian? Do you not initiate physical contact?

The entire point of relationships is sex, so if she is not interested, break up.


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