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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 665. page
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how to get rid of fat on my belly quickly? Apart from cardio exercises. Any useful tips would be appreciated
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HIIT + Keto diet + intermittent fasting. You can't lose fat from any specific part of your body. You lose it all equally (from your face, hands, etc.). Chances are, though, you have cellulite which is just the absence of muscle fibre and the only way to get rid of that is to squat/deadlift etc.
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>>17402383

It's dieting, bro. Even if you excercise like there's no tomorrow, without a dieting you don't her decent results.
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>>17402407

This. Local spot reduction is a myth. Losing weight is 80% food, 20% exercise. Start eating healthily (veggies/fruit/fish/nuts/chicken) and cut out all the sweets/cookies/potato chips. Count calories. The difference between staying the same weight and noticably dropping weight is 500 kcal (rougly 1/4 of your day intake), which is the equivalent of a fairly-sized chocolate-covered doughnut.

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I've almost finished college, have one unit left which i can do part time.
Do bosses frown upon this? Can I start looking for work now or wait till I graduate?
How should I present it on the resume?
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>>17402380
"BA, My University, December 2016 (One class left to take)"

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>talking to an interesting girl from here
>she has a personality disorder. I ask her a lot about how her life isl
>get horny
>fuck it, ask for nudes
>she says she doesn't do that
>pressure her for the next few days, even get into arguments about it
>I get mad and just tell her bye
>next day I am regretting what I did because...
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>nice to everybody

Considering your behaviour I have doubts. Its the biggest red flag if anyone describes themselves as nice.

Advice would be to break up with your gf and grow up. Trying to force a girl to send nudes and getting angry and while in a relationship speaks volumes over who you really are. I feel for your family.
>>
None of this matters. Just don't do too many stupid things and you'll be fine, asshole.
>>
Wait, you have a girlfriend, too?
I'm surprised you don't feel the need to confess this to her. Bonkers lead to fucked up impulses so it's not exactly strange, but you have to try to control yourself and ask yourself if this is really the person you want to be.

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Hey /adv/

I went on an awkward date with a girl last year. We didn't really talk agin after the date. However, last night her and I just matched on Tinder. Should I try contacting her again or just leave it alone? My friend that is friends with me told me that she thought I was "attractive but didn't really have any common interests with him."
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*shrug* do it if you want, but if you've got no chemistry, you've got no chemistry.

Either way, it's not like it's the end of the world if you make an ass out of yourself or have another awkward date

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Hey /adv/, if a girl has cheated on me when we were dating and has been caught calling me a dick behind my back, should I even bother to pursue being friends with them?
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No.
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>>17402328
are you crazy. that is not friend material so the answer is NO
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>>17402328

No. She will end up making life much more complicated and create more stress for yourself. Be polite, but don't be around her if you can help it.

So I'm thinking of starting to do volunteer work. I want to feel like my labor can produce something of value since I'm doing horribly at my job and I also want to feel like I'm wanted somewhere. I also would like to become more responsible and get to know some people.

These are all selfish reasons, really. And I am notoriously bad with perseverance, dropping things half-way through, low willpower, etc. so am I doing the right thing? It's a big responsibility after all...

People who have done volunteering, how demanding is it really?

(By...
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>>17402321
Your selfish reasons are all totally valid reasons for volunteering. Don't think you are not "pure" enough.

You might think out your choices this way. You can work with a "big schemes" organization (Red Cross, Oxfam, Save The Children, various disease fighters, etc) that does life-saving work on a big scale, but never really see the results. Or you can go local and small-scale (food kitchen, help-the-homeless, animal shelter, etc) knowing that what you're doing is a drop in the...
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>>17402336
I'm looking at a small organization that helps immigrants and refugees with clothing, food, education, legal work and I'm liking the idea.

It seems pretty much every institution is religious-based. I'm pretty sure they don't give a fuck about my personal beliefs but am I expected to uphold a facade or try to evangelize or something?

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My boyfriend has problems opening up to me and trust issues after a previous relationship of his. What do I do about this?

It's frustrating because I can tell when he's upset but he won't talk to me
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*shrug* I'm similar to him.

I've heard similar complaints leveled at me from both my family and my girlfriend.

In my case it's not a past trauma, I'm just not used to opening up to people and don't really like doing it. I do it on occasion, but 95% of the time I internally process it and figure it out on my own. It's just more comfortable for me and it's how i've learned to operate.

I say this as someone who was depressed for almost a decade--dipping to suicidal levels at the lowest--and eventually dug his way out of it without external aids.

Is that shit healthy? No. But it's what I'm used to, what I know, and what I prefer.

That being said, that doesn't at all mean I don't trust my girlfriend, nor that I don't try to confide in her.

I do--more than anyone else--and I try for her sake, but i'd still rather handle shit on my own 95% of the time.

Honestly, sometimes it's frustrating hearing her say I'm not trying, because I AM trying, and her saying i'm not just kind of makes me feel like... my efforts are unacknowledged, unnoticed, and unappreciated.

And honestly, she's the type who OVER worries about things and is OVER sensitive, and so occasionally she'll bug me about it when I'm not at all bothered by anything ( I have a naturally contemplative face), and it kind of irks me because it feels like she's trying to make drama where drama doesn't exist, and it makes me worried that she won't be able to handle it in the moments when I DO confide in her, and it makes me want to handle the shit on my own even more.

But personally, I'm cognizant of all that, so I force myself to confide, even when I don't feel like it, and also I call her out on her shit when she's being pestering for no reason (and feel like the latter lets me do the former). I've opened up more and more as more times gone by.


So my advice to you:

Nagging is the absolute worst thing you can do.
It will only make him LESS likely to confide in you.

Be there, be patient. It's a slow process.
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>>17402311
Tell him he can talk about the things that bother him whenever he wants to, but only remind him of that once in a while. Otherwise it will feel like you're putting pressure on him. Just make him feel comfortable and wait.
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>>17402311
You just need to let him know that "you're there for him" if he trust you, sooner or late he will talk

>girl tries to get you job because she see how fucking depressed and a sad sack of shit you are
>gos out of her way to help
>forget to call the place and remember weeks later when she messages me
I don't have shit going on and there's no reason I couldn't have called. How do I work my way around this and not make myself look like more of a loser?
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>>17402286
>woman doing for a man
lol might as well just say fuck your masculinity
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>>17402286
The big thing is, I like her, and I know if I tell her that I forgot to call It's just going to make me look really bad.
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Everything you can say will make you look unappreciative and ungrateful. Maybe this will teach you to pay more attention in the future.

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Hello, need a good short story of a time had really good customer service . Need to go above and beyond for the customer but I cant think of anything other than , lady who checked fries were gluten free without me asking at a restaurant .? This is for an interview at supermarket . Any ideas?
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>This is for an interview at supermarket

Why do these shitty jobs always have such shitty interviews?
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>>17402287
Couldnt tell ya but I need a good example answer to it
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>>17402280
Once when i was queing for a carwash in an abnormally long queue on an abnormally hot day, the people who ran the carwash walked along the queue and offered a complimentary bottle of water (or cup of coffee for those with AC).

A technician who did some work for me had been dealing with a troublesome installation, and he gave me his private number in case it started acting up outside work hours. I phoned him, and he insisted to assist me via phone to resolve the issue once and for all, despite being on holiday.

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I need some advice regarding an age gap in a friendship. I have no real experience with this at all.

Basically, she's 17 and I'm 22 (also female). We met at a dinner because she works with my (23) fiance. We hit it off. Similar interests etc etc. We've been texting and I'm giving her some TV shows and shit, just friend stuff. Is this going to get weird? Because of the age gap I'm not expecting much/any hanging out or whatever. Curious how parents feel about this kind of thing though. If it matters, I'm pretty normal and not wild, but also...
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>>17402267
I don't see how it's a problem.
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>>17402267
She's nearly an adult. The age diffeence isn't really this big, you should be able to hang out normally.
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That's disgusting. Of course her parents will worry. Stick to friends at most 1 year apart... Not to mention if anybody were to see you two in public. I would be uncomfortable

...
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Remove them all, stick to smaller subs.
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>>17402258
personalfinance if you are in america, have a job, and are living beyond your means.
trash the rest.
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>>17402268
i'm in the UK but i will keep an eye out for an equivalent. i have student debt, and live with parents but would like to become more independent in the near future.

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>usual story of getting bullied by other kids and touched by relatives, as a kid
>growth spurt, start going to the gym
>get mad easily in life, and it's not pretty
>still prone to losing my shit, but i've learned to control it better since my parents and partner are very understanding and calm
>so everyday life is alright for me to handle

but recently, a friend showed me an article on the local uni i'm hoping to get into, does really inappropriate stuff during orientation, like fresh-out-of-national-service shithead boys doing pushups on the girls and grinding on them and pretending to rape them, or asking disgusting questions over and over. They refuse to let the uncomfortable ones leave, and heck, even if I'm not bothered, I'm going to be bothered by the other girls getting bothered and not being allowed to leave.

Point is, they seem to make these activities seem very important for the freshmen to go through, and I don't want to continue being an outcast anymore, but I'm honestly scared that I'll fuck someone up and they'll punish me for physical violence or something (even though they clearly have no issues with the ongoing harassment. It's been years of complaints over and over, and they just go "not my problem". Even the state newspaper got very scathingly critical, which is surprising for a state newspaper)

In a nutshell, how do I deal with this situation, preferable to make them cut this shit out if they try it during orientation, without getting another flash of anger and assaulting them? If that is too difficult, is there any decent uni out there, in a warm climate (australia, singapore, etc) and which does not have hazing (which i'm not confident of being able to handle)?
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self-bump
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Get the police involved, this shit shouldn't fly. there have been big hazing scandals over here. For example, the agriculture engineering department forced some people to eat manure and the media dropped on that like...flies on manure, really.
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>>17402334
it's already been published consecutively for the last few years on the nation's biggest newspaper, and I mean biggest, it might as well be the only local paper, and nothing has happened. I might sound jaded when I say "the police will refer everything back to the uni, who obv give zero shits" considering what i've read of rape cases, but- I guess no harm trying if it does happen

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hey /adv/enturers, I'm fucking done with slaving over millions and MILLIONS of documents. I want to start a café/restaurant. I've already got this pretty nice place in mind 2 blocks down my studio, and should I cater to some kind of niche? like maybe an internet cafe or something weeb related?

any tips?
should I keep the menu simple?

any and all critique/advice is welcome, it's why I'm here after all
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I don't know where you're at, but in my country running a culinary place means you have to slave over millions of documents.

My parents used to run restaurants and cafés, so I've seen the piles.

Anyway, no, you need to come up with something better than Internet cafe, as it's not Y2K anymore, and most cafés (at least in my country) got free internet nowadays. You could however run with a weeb or internet meme concept, it you know how to make that interesting. There's a newly opened place in my city that combines tech, DIY and recycling...
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Not sure about this board, but try /biz/ and maybe /ck/
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>>17402250
You can't just open a cafe on whim. Legal issues, zoning laws, health laws, employment laws all have to be dealt with. Equipment has to be bought. Staff recruited and trained. Insurance obtained. Mafia paid off. Etc. Etc.

Rather than trying to go it alone, consider buying a franchise from a Starbucks-like chain. They will do all the prep and set-up for you, train you, and give you back-up help.

90% of independent start-ups like this go out of business within 2 years, mainly because the owners were...
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I like a girl, lets say. But, I am in no shape or form ready for any relationship for another year or so. Can I start as friends or am I fucking myself over? I do like the person in question, so friendship alone would be good enough, just curious if it will make me a "buddy" for life.
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>>17402243
You'll fuck yourself over.
Not because it can't work (it can, easily), but because right now you want a relationship with her.
What can work, is becoming friends when neither has a plan to make it a relationship. Then again, all those times it didn't work... nobody cared, because nobody wanted the friendship to bloom into a relationship in the first place.
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>>17402243
Oldfag here.

ALL my most successful romances, including eventually my happy marriage, began as friendships. All my least successful relationships began as physical attraction.

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Should I take a job in Germany, or Southern California? Both would put me in close vicinity with a major city- both have hawt girls everywhere (and I'm not a neckbeard virgin)

I'm in my early 20s, new grad, single male. I speak German and international experience is cool, but I don't want to get blown up or beheaded by a refugee. The job in SoCal opens more doors career-wise, and pays more, and I'm already here in the US.
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As much as I hate California, that's definitely the better bet. The grass is greener on the other side in europe but you'd just end up missing home. Plus you don't want to be part of Merkel's hell hole apocolypse.
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>>17402228
Are you European or American?
If you're American, it's not worth it to get the pay hit.
If you're European and want to go back, that changes things, but maybe you should co SoCal anyway, and back to Euroland in 5-10 years.
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>>17402228
>I don't want to get blown up or beheaded by a refugee.
Listening to world-wide news, it's not much different from America, only there it's the police that kills people.
If you want to be safe, I think Japan is your best bet.

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This is heavy guys...
My mom has been a huge bitch for the last couple years for no reason, driving away her children and straining her marriage

I just got back from my mom's and I was able to figure out that she's had lymphoma for the last 4 years and has gone un treated.

She was pretty drunk and called my begging me to save her from death(since I'm the only religious person in the family) and I went to figure out what was happening.

She hasn't said anything to her husband or my brothers since she was first in shock, but now she's...
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I'd say the right thing to do is to stay quiet. Either she dies on her own terms or she dies slowly and painfully for tens of thousands of dollars.

Just make sure to spend a lot of time with her before it happens.
>>
She already accept death.
If you consider this as depression and put her into treatment, she will do it anyway.
Life comes with a death sentence, anon.
At least her struggle it's going to an end.
>>
Tell her to go to church with you and then get her to go on her own.

Church is the best way for people to deal with disease and death. It's absolving, even if it's relatively delusional.

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I'm going to kill myself. Please share painless/clean ways to drift off.
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bleach

https://www.amazon.com/Clorox-Liquid-Regular-96-Fluid-Bottles/dp/B0036B8UGG
>>
dont do it bae, i lov u to much
>>
Avoid overdoses, that shit is messy.
I've always considered hanging one of the better ways to do it, once you've cut off blood flow to the brain, unconciousness occurs within moments and death within minutes.

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Should I end it with my boyfriend?

We've been together for almost two years. I'm madly in love with him, he seems to be happy with me. But I'm the one who always makes time to go see him, and he lives about 45 minutes away. I haven't seen my friends/family in months because I spend every free day I'm not working at his house. He has been to my place maybe 2-3 times during our entire relationship.

I took off this entire week from work to spend it with him, but so far I haven't seen him once because he's been busy with work (he's...
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intimacy is a basic human need
stop trying to make it sound like its a desperate thing

he doesnt care all that much so do whatever i guess, if you think he will come begging you are in a nasty suprise

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>Be 21
>Had crush on girl in 6th grade all thru junior high
>Never talked to her though
>Recently messaged her on FB (its been 10 years now)
>Have friendly conversation, get her number
>We text generic "how are you" bs every now and then
>Also talked to her on phone
>She seems interested i guess (told me she remembers...
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So far it seems that she is saying that she wants your dick but eventually she will ditch you for a girl. She is either going to lead you on or ask to stay friends but I say just take a shot since you aren't hardcore into her yet.
>>
basicly shes saying shed be a fwb (if you play your cards right) but nothing more.

It has become clear to me that every problem in my life is caused by the fact that I have absolutely no willpower. I'm lazy. I'm messy. I'm as anti-confrontational as you can be. I have a crazy addictive personality. I have no control over my life and every part of it is suffering.

I have one friend that I hang out with once or twice a week. I work in a restaurant while I never do anything to help me get to the career I actually want. The career that I've been so "passionate about for as long as I can remember". I smoke over a pack a day...
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so what do you want?

First time meeting someone from grindr. First time unfaithful. Nervous. What if i wont get hard. Halp
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Grow up.
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>>17402206
I hope your Grindr date strangles you, bro.
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>>17402206

kek, just sent this to all my friends. results are humorous so far

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So sad.

Can't pay rent.
Don't want to move in with parents.
I'd rather just run off to the desert and die.

I don't even know why I exist anymore.

I have bipolar disorder and it ruins everything, but if I take my medication I can't write music which is the only thing that gives me any sort of joy anymore

What do I do?

I just want to die.

I just want to relax and never see anyone ever again.
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>>17402204
First things first: survive.
Tell your landlord you can't pay, find a different solution, maybe get some roommates, get a shitty job, and more shitty jobs and side jigs.
You need food & shelter, can't do without.

Then you can think about what you have to do. Pay your rent if you're behind, whatever other debts you incurred.
Once you're clear, with the little extra time you'll have, you can think about music.
Freedom is expensive, you're taking it for granted. Stop,...
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>>17402220
You're right

Im just worried my pyschosis will make me lose everything if I gain it?

Does that make sense or is it crazy person logic?

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Hey, so my job just got taken over by a much larger company. I used to like my job as I enjoyed the responsibilities but now I hate it. When the takeover happened, I went from having one boss to having ten bosses. In addition to this micromanagement, all our employees got demoted to a much more menial job. They literally refer to us as bodies. I'm way over qualified to do this job but i have kept the same pay and hourly rate as before. I don't see any sort of promotion occurring within this new company.

Should I complain to the person who hired me(my old boss)...
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This isn't the right forum for this. This is where you complain about depression and women.
>>
Hmm i've had it differently. Im not sure what bitching to HR does if you money and benefits aren't the problem.
I'd just start looking for a new job. Then if you find one, you can be candid with your company and say you have a job offer, do this for me or I'll fuck off (more professionally and courtiously ofc and only if you mean it.)
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>>17402209
Thanks, this sounds like the best course of action.

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Am I abnormal if I like receiving sexual attention FROM women, but have no interest at all in actually fucking them?

Like, I like flirting with them, entertaining them and being touched and even kissed, but I have indeed actually fled one girl's flat at the last moment when she was in the bathroom getting prepped up for sex. Intoxication had much more to do with actually following her there than the brief clarity needed to relocate myself the fuck out of there.
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>>17402195
Maybe you're gay
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>>17402195
Well wow you're an asshole :o
>>
>>17402229
But I'm not really attracted to men, either?

>>17402264
I know. And she wasn't a bad-looking girl either. A right 9/10 if you're into chubby ones.

That's kind of why I prefer the older ones, they don't really expect anything tangible back.

And that's also why my mother doesn't really want to accept my help with her charity arrangements. Most of the ladies in the local Lions Club have husbands.

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Honestly, why hasn't anyone thought of this yet? Are there any concerns with viability?

I can imagine it being along the lines of "Assassin", but without personal targets, or guessing who your target is. Heck, even with "assassin", you need a large group of irl friends to play with you. Why not a website where people give the time and general real-life location for a Battle Royale/Assassin to take place, and anyone who wants to participate, just shows up, but submits their photos for identification of the players (instead of accidentally roping...
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Just do this at paintball or some shit.

Doing it in public creates a lot of potential issues, several of them legal issues that may lead to arrests.
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>>17402212
yeah paintball's closest, but it's everyone with the same weapon and you can't do things like blend into the crowd, or find urban hiding spots, or give riddles about your location. For Assassin, i think they try to skirt the legal issues by using things like water pistols, maybe nerf, and putting slips of paper under the target's food, which reads "poison". Still sucks that there's no website tailored to organizing such things amongst strangers though
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>>17402222
Seems more hassle than it's worth. The only way it would be viable is if it were created as an actual business, with paid actors to fill in the roles of the crowd or victims/targets.

Then you could just turn up on a given day and be matched with a bunch of strangers.

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Hey /adv/, just got a quick question
>with gf i met online
>love her to death
>6 months in decide to get her a present
>its a dildo
>want to mail it to her, but nervous
Now heres the question
>she lives with her parents still, and they check her mail/packages every time she gets them
But if she went to the post office herself, she could hide it away in her purse. Is there any...
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>>17402193
> loves a girl
> buys her a dildo
>>
>>17402193
Depends on the country. Some postal systems allow for a package to be mailed to her c/o the local post office address. Have her ask.
>>
Let me guess, you have never met in real life and you are both underaged.

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>good at english, english literature, general studies, that kind of stuff
>decent at math and physics, but studying those subjects makes me want to off myself
>I just want an job that pays average when i get out of college, and which would be creative in some capacity (so far, i see things like copywriting and technical writing, but it'd be nice to know more options)
>no idea what to major in and whether to get a Masters eventually
>business...
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>>17402183
This is why the Good Lord invented internships. Major in English because it's fun, taking all the business writing and technical writing courses they offer because they're practical. Take side courses in business, just to get the vocabulary.

You can then legitimately apply for just about any office job in just about any field, with the solid basic skills and the ability to pick up any specialized knowledge on the job.
>>
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>>17402183
Jesus Christ. High schools really need to take the sitck out of their asses and admit they know jack shit about the world. Same for colleges.

Anyways, as long as you aren't getting a _____ Studies degree you're fine. Yes I know about the stem meme, but it's just that, a meme. No degree guarantees you'll walk out of college and get hired permanently and full time with no experience.

So you should major in what you enjoy, but start thinking about a career. Don't limit it to your major. My girlfriend majored and English and took a job working in documents at a company. She moved up and did testing on medical devices without even taking calc. This is because most entry level jobs will train you if you seem like a good candidate regardless of your background.

If you can't find a job that explicitly says "internship" then do temp work over summer (I'd suggest taking classes until you're at the point where you can graduate on time with low risk). A lot of managers at firms (we're talking the old dudes) don't open up intern positions and just hire from temp agencies and recruiters. You have 3 summers which last around 3 months. That's plenty of time to find something that works. If you're comfortable, continue it during school.

Again, major in what you enjoy while investing in jobs that appeal to you.

You're greentext is shit btw.

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I am young, athletic built 22 years old. I have had allot of success with young girls my age but they are so flakey and immature and interest me very little.

I want to meet older women. but I fear that i am alway coming too strong and scare them away

anyone know of any good ways to go about this?

also where would the ideal places be to meet them? I live in London
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Tell them you'll marry them
>>
pubs
>>
>>17402161
What do you mean by older? 30s? 40s?

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Is it better to create a resume from the ground up, or can I use a free resume builder? If so, which one should I use? Any other advice is also appreciated.
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write your own resume but read some guides first if you don't know how, google is your friend
>>
>>17402141
Okay, thanks! Should I make multiple different resumes, or should I just stick to one? I'm looking for something that is an entry level job that isn't a mcjob.
>>
>>17402143
just make one but make slight changes to it depending on the job you're applying to if you feel its appropriate, usually I'd just leave it the same and change the cover sheet though

I've heard that HR people don't even bother reading cover letters, but w/e who cares it takes 10 seconds to write one.

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/adv/ quick question.
Met a girl when I was out with some friends about a week ago, she lives on their street but only comes in my country during holidays. Anyway, we talked for a bit, I walked her home, forgot to take her number cuz drunk. She has no social media accs neither(fucking A, right?) . She's gonna leave the country in 2 weeks, which is enough to get my dick wet, that's no problem.

How do I get to her? Asking my mates for her number and calling her out of the blue seems desperate. I did it once and it was awkward.
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