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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 674. page
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Two tier question here. My industry is very interconnected here in the city, meaning everyone knows each other even if they don't directly work together. There's a bunch of networking events and such. I'm relatively new to it.

Two girls I know from the industry came up with the idea last week to hook me up with their friend - we'll call her JJ. Then, my coworker took the liberty to tell JJ that he was going to introduce us at the next event (tomorrow) and to be ready for it.

Since then, other people have said some things about her that make...
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q1 answer is easy: give no indicators of attraction during the meeting. If anyone questions you about it later, just say some bullshit like, "Yeah, I don't know, we just didn't connect."

q2: at the end of the first day, ask for her number. "Hey let me get your number so we can go out some time." she'll either shut it down or give you her # (either way, you don't look shitty). Then just text her after a few days and tell her to meet you somewhere. easy.

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Long story short, i have a borderline disorder. I dropped my therapy years ago, but recently i realized every relationship i get into falls apart very quickly. I did a quick research on the BPD recently, and apparently being unable to form a long-term relationship is part of the disorder(i never really cared what the BPD does before). Can a therapy help me to form a healthy relationship?
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Shameless self-bump
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>>17398736
A lot of therapists won't take on bpds.
Those that do usually say stuff like
> the first essential step is to want not to be a rage monster
And will mention how few are able to do that.
Take from this whatever conclusion you want.
>>
>>17398905
I mean HOW THE FUCK am i even supossed to do that?
I am aggressive to my surroundings, my family and friends. I know i am an asshole but i don't feel like i want to change that. the only thing that bothers me is the inability of forming a healthy relationship, and it's the only thing that makes me want to start a therapy.

Hey /adv/ I need to know what I should do.

I work at a bank. My bosses are the kind of people that know nothing but want to pretend they do. Theyre never wrong, its always someone else's fault. They do everything outside of the regulations but no one cares. They fuck up peoples payroll for the lols among other things. They're just really really bad people.

This though, is a new one. They inform me this week that I have 9 late clock ins since February this year. Ive never been late in my life. Im one of the first people that arrive. Im even there before...
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Today when i hand in the evidence they insist that it is my fault and that i was disrespectful because i told them that i hope this was the last time it would happen and to please address these issues in time. They just shushed me and told me that in its time they would handle it.

I am pretty sure they will meet with me today or sometime this week. What do you guys think i should do? What should i say? What if they dont have a meeting with me? What kind of evidence should i ask for so i know they fixed my record?

Thanks in advance and sorry for spelling errors, im using mobile.
>>
Go over their heads. Why do you even have to ask? Sure you may get fired but use a co woeker as a reference. Forr your next job.
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>>17399437
Ive been looking for a job for months. Even different areas in the bank but no call. I cant afford to lose my job right now since im also a student.

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So, my gf and I had a string of fights this month. Things got really weird. She confessed she was feeling a little ressenftul over the fights we had. The day before yesterday we talked and decided to leave it all behind us and move ahead. However, she:

>is still cold
>is still distant
>is still rude
>seems like nothing changed
>said she "didn't feel like" coming to my house this week
>yesterday...
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>>17398728
Give her space. Girls take a long time to actually get over shit. Just because she said she'll stop bringing it up doesn't mean she's done with it. She can't just turn off the tide of emotions she has felt and bottled up over the last month.

So leave her alone. One of two things will happen": either she will get lonely and reach out to you, when her anger turns to sadness and loneliness, or she'll never get over it and she never contacts you and you can file it away as "broken...
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>>17398728
Get another girl
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>>17398740
You're right in everything, however, I'd understand her if they were huge, important fights, but they weren't. In fact, most of the fights were about NOTHING. I mean, literally nothing. And out of 10 times we fought, 8 was because she cancelled plans in the same day they were supposed to happen or she was rude to me and I reacted. Still I apologized for everything from the bottom of my heart because I love her and don't want to be like that.

I feel like she's being petty, which in...
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So long story short I'm traveling in Korea, I got 2 weeks left.

I met this qt3.14 in a restaurant where she was a waitress. My friend knows her well. And she looked interested in me.

I wonder if I should start a RS with her or not since I'm only staying 2 weeks which means break up after that or long distance (which ends up badly most of the time)...

The dilemma is strong, I really liked her but honestly that 2 weeks timeline sucks but besides I don't want to miss that opportunity...

Any advices please ?
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>>17398705
... can't you fuck her without having a relationship with her?
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>>17398711
Yeah sure but I don't feel like I'm looking for that.
It's part of the issue

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How do i stop the urge to act like a pig? I have a really strong urge to just lay in bed, roam the internet, eat unhealthy shit, not shower or brush my teeth for as long as possible. I never do it. Because i know it would be like a drug and i would Want to do nothing else till it's the status quo. How do i succesfully delete those wishes from my mind?
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>>17398694
Well what I normally do is do that anyway, then when it's about to result in your death or bankruptcy, do just enough big boy work to scrape by. Maybe I'm an example of why it's better to resist and I'll lose in the long run, but no matter how much I stew on it I can't make myself care.
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>>17398817
Yeah, that's exactly what i try to avoid. I was just hoping that it will get better with time and not use all my willpower over and over

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I am thinking of converting to christianity but I have a weird interpretation of it that doesn't seem to fit with any of the denominations I've been reading about.
Who can I talk to about this? I can't go to a church/priest/pastor and even if I did they're always biased towards their own church and denomination so I can't get any straight answers
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>>17398670

What are your beliefs?
>>
>>17398670
>I have a weird interpretation of it
Post so we can la- I mean, advise you on the matter.
>>
I guess I think of the religion very symbolically. Like I think Jesus was a human who was close to God but I don't think he was literally God's son, and I don't think he himself is God either. And I don't think Mary was literally a virgin but I understand why people would want to distance Jesus' birth from normal biological processes to isolate him as a Holy being. I think his sacrifice for our sins was not a literal absolution for mankind but more of a testament to the purity of his willingness to do such a thing for humanity, which speaks towards our...
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How does one become more aggressive/assertive? I feel like old age has withered me down to a mellow working man, even though I was pretty fiery back in my teens.
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>>17398661
>old age
how old are you?

>in b4 23
>>
>>17398688
I'm 34 now.
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>>17398884
complain alot in your mind. You're gonna trigger yourself this way.

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So I want to meet people and be a more exciting person, so I looked into starting a hobby that wasn't video games. Turns out that the only things that are interesting me aren't going to help though. No one is going to give a shit about my warhammer army, I'm not going to meet people taking pictures in the woods, and reading is something you do by yourself. So that said I don't see the point since two of these three things are quite expensive if it doesn't let me become more interesting.
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Its a tight balance. You need to consider what you like, not just what others may find interesting. Becoming a slave to the opinion of others is no way to live life.

Consider instead leaving your comfort zone. Go to a gym and sign up to clubs there, jog, join a book club, cooking lessons. Something. You can do all these things while pursuing your genuine interests on the side. Balance is the key.

Also Orks 4 life.

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How do I break up someone else's LDR?
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by jumping off a very tall building
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>>17398656
No thanks.
>>
Convince one or the other that an LDR is a waste of time and usually doesn't last.
Or accuse one of cheating which is very risky.

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My boyfriend and I both emotionally volatile individuals with depression issues. Because his case is worse than mine, I feel like I am constantly repressing my worries and avoiding showing my true nervous wreck of a self around him to avoid triggering his own sadness. For instance, if he is ever feeing down and worried that I will eventually hate and leave him, I'm there to comfort him. But if I'm ever freaking out in the present moment that he hates me or is mad at me, he just becomes mad at me, and then proceeds to think that I'll hate him eventually. Thus,...
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>>17398628
This relationship is one sided. Tell him that. If he refuses to listen to you or starts whining about how you'll leave him, tell him you will if he doesn't take responsibility for himself and dumping shit on you. Actually do it if he doesn't show serious effort to change. Do it if he shows effort but fails to within a longer time frame. Work on your own issues and don't get into a relationship where you are not "burdening" anyone with your shit because otherwise you'll just become...
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>>17398628
I am going t9 be devils advocate and say you should look for greener pastures. The blind cannot lead the blind and two people suffering from major depression is going to be hard to see through long term, never mind the one sided nature of the relationship.

You and he need to get yourselves a stronger foundation and learn how to work with your depression and self esteem. Its just my opinion though.

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Is it possible to become gay?
Had sex with a guy and i enjoyed it. I'm not attracted to men but it doesn't disgust me like when i was 12.
I really wanna date a guy to piss off my homophobic mom
How do i get attracted to a guy?
So autism thread i guess
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>>17398627
>Is it possible to become gay?
>Had sex with a guy and i enjoyed it.
Congratz, you're gay
>>
>>17398648
There's a difference between falling in love with someone and enjoying getting your dick sucked desu
>>
>>17398648
Pretty much this.

>29
>Still studying my degree from home
>Barely go out from monday to friday
>No gf
>Not a kissless virgin
>Amost all of my friends are too mature to go out at night
>Im starting to think i will die alone

Seriously, dont know where can i meet girls if its not going out, is there any hope for me or not.
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>>17398621
Are you still here op?
Focus on finishing your degree and working I would assume M-F. Use your weekends to your advantage, but dont focus on searching for a partner. Do shit you like to do and if you happen to meet someone along the way then there you go.
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>>17398948
The thing is that my group of friends is really bad these days, they are or working or with their gfs or dont want to do shit
>>
Not KV. Normie REEEEEEEEEE

Does anyone have any advice for a budding competitive pokemon breeder? I just finished Alpha Sapphire and have always wanted to get into the competitive scene. I've played on Pokemon Online a little bit, but I'm by no means a good battler, I just like playing around with it here and there. I'm fairly familiar with moves, abilities, STAB, etc. I just want to know what's the very best way to start out breeding my very first competitive team, now that they've made it easier than ever to breed + EV train. So, any tips?
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Go to /vp/
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>>17398614
It's really sad that I didn't even know that board existed. Thank you.

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so ...

there is this guy, we understand eachother well, having good time, hes sweet, lovely, in matter of feelings I'm totally up for him... not sure if its love yet but he makes me feel so good, and we get along really great! + hes full of care, delivers me carrots to my house, because he knows I like em... sometimes do some shooping for me... anyway cant see a reason why I shouldn't be with this guy.. BUT

>> I am 25, he is 30
>> He was with girl few months ago, for 6 years, they broke up...
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>>17398599
There are no major red flags to me.

Do you want babies?
If you don't, date him. If you do, don't.
>>
>>17398599

>meeting a few times a month
>She was arabic (him presumably not)

Seems to me he had a booty call for six years while she thought she was in a relationship.
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>>17398639
what do you mean? he was using her?

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Hi /adv/

NEET here, I got accepted into a college that's 22km away from me, I applied because I had a friend there and I thought it would make the commute worth it.

We fell out and I got a text from them today saying I need to tell them if I want to occupy the spot.

It's going to take me 1 hour to cycle in and I dont drive.

What should I do?
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Learn to drive... until then, cycle in. How is the climate/weather where you live?
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>>17398587
Assuming the transit is safe and you are used to cycling, take it. Education will stand by you more than any video game. Put yourself out there, work hard and meet new people.

See this falling out not as bad but as an opportunity to grow.
>>
>>17398593
Terrible, I'm in the UK so it's raining every second day.

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got a co-worker who I get along pretty well with (we discuss Star Trek between serving customers), and I try to look out for him as I'm pretty sure he has learning difficulties of some description. He doesn't have the greatest problem-solving capabilities, and generally has a somewhat slow-witted level of capability with tasks. I also see him mumbling, presumably angrily, under his breath quite often, probably triggered by something like an error made on the job or a rude customer. What kind of condition does he most likely have?
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*bump*
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>>17398581
Ihatethisjobitis

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I'm seriously considering quitting a retail job after two days. All I've done is sit in the middle of the store (where people can walk up to me and ask me questions despite me clearly not fucking wearing the store uniform) and do "eLearnings", where I sit at a computer for five or six hours and take online quizzes on completely irrelevant, bullshit information. Fuck this shit.

Do I need to put in a two weeks notice while I'm still being trained, or can I just walk?
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What the fuck kind of job makes you take online quizzes? What store is it? What are these quizzes about? It sounds like they're using you but I have no idea what for.

Tell them you're feeling underutilized and ask if they have another position for you. If not, quit.
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>>17398603
It's probably training videos/quizzes
>>
>>17398606
For 2 days though?? Don't those retail quizzes last like not even an hour?

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>ex girlfriend unblocks and tries to add me on Facebook

I still love her but also hate her quite a bit. I also don't know if I can see her without imagining her sucking other dudes off
Is it possible to be friends?
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>>17398559
if you want to be friends with her then go ahead. If you don't want to then don't simple as that. It mostly depends on what you want anon
>>
No, it's not. She's an ex for a reason, and if you still claim to love her then there's no way you can happily be friends.

Also consider your future relationships. It's not fair to them. Take these feelings you have of imagining her sucking some other guys off and realize your future girlfriends will feel the same way if you carry on a friendship.
>>
>>17398559
You're a cuck

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Hi /adv/
How do i Remove theg dick taste after I gave a blowjob?
I've tried drinking water, brushing my teeth and chew gum the whole day. I still taste dick and I'm afraid other people can smell/taste it more than I can
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Is this a common thing? I've never sucked a dick.
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>>17398589
Idk it was first time I did it. I'm gonna talk with my dad later so I really want to get rid of this smell
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>>17398601
dick shouldn't really emit an odor
especially after u SUCC it
r u sure the guy is hygienic wtf
did he give u a mouth-full of knob cheese

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My boyfriend dated a girl from 15-19. We started dating shortly after they broke up. At first I thought I was a rebound because he clearly wasn't over her at the time. He wouldn't stop talking about her, had pictures of her everywhere, and treated me like we were in a long term relationship from the beginning. But we've been together 5 years. Their relationship wasn't perfect but without knowing, I sometimes suspect it was better than ours. We've had a few rough patches and I can be hard to live with.

Pretty much whenever I see him on Facebook...
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if she dumped him there's no way they're getting to get back together, so there's nothing to be jealous about.
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>>17398532
Block her on his page, if he notices then he's either in communication with her or keeps searching for her.
>>
>>17398532
Not wrong to be bothered by it - but it doesn't really have anything to do with your relationship and it's more about how different men and women are at processing break ups.

It was pretty recent but there was a study recently that pretty much said 'women will feel the effects of a break up harder at first but will get over it, where as a lot of men might not completely get over it'

It's kind of obvious, but there is something else wrong with your boyfriend for him to jump...
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>wish to kill myself has never been stronger
I've seen the most disgusting human behaviour and I've lost all will to inhabit this fucked up world. How can I meditate or do something to remove my self from the world? I literally don't want to be part of this world anymore.
How did Buddha achieve enlightenment?
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>>17398527
>I've seen the most disgusting human behaviour and I've lost all will to inhabit this fucked up world.
Seems pretty interesting, can you tell what happened?
>>
>>17398531
I've seen one of those disgusting hateful mothers who are stuck with their kid, and so they hate their kid. Poor lad was like 6 or so, idk, pretty small kid.
I've seen the mother abuse and beat the living shit out of the kid and talk to their kid in the worst ways imaginable and I did nothing but walk away. I hate myself for not doing something for the kid. It depressed me greatly and I cried pretty much all day because of it.
The kid also did nothing wrong, I've seen the whole thing because...
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>>17398542
Calm your nerves and melodrama you eejit. Its a sad but true fact these things happen all the time and worse. Outside of calling the police you can't do much. You are going to see a lot of crap in your life and thats a fact. Tighten up and move on.

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So I need some help. I'm a gay guy, but whenever I go on dates, and I really like a guy, I start to precum a lot without really doing anything.

I jack off like every day-two days, but it gets embarrassing when we get back to his and my underwear are partially soaked.

For some reason I also cum a LOT, like I'm pretty sure I could fill a shot glass with my product.

How the fuck so I cut back my fluids adv? I'm 22 and hoped I would grow out of it.
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>>17398503
I'd love to be this way dude, would feel manly and sexual.
>>
>>17398508
It's really embarrassing. I try to hide it by kind of screwing up my boxers as I take them off. It gets uncomfortable too.

Last date I went on, I had to go clean myself up in the bathroom, in the pub, because it was just fucking everywhere.

When we actually get down and dirty, I always cum last too. I've never been with a guy that made me cum first. Is there something wrong down there or what?
>>
>>17398503
get into porn

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How did you kick the masturbation habit /adv/? I need to get rid of this, it's a terrible habit
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>>17398489
Go camping with other people

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need some career advice

>21
>barely finished high-school
>highly articulate but struggle with formal writing
>interested in mechanics, chemistry, engineering
>prepared to move or study, have money saved
>probably aspergers, almost definitely anti-social
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>>17398485
What do you want to know, exactly?

Anyway, without more information all the advice I can give is: Try mimicking other people's behavior, try finding out what is normal and what is not normal behavior so you can hide your aspie self; and study a LOT, since university is way more difficult than high school.
>>
>>17398504
well I want to know what field I would be suited in

though not unique by any means my situation is uncommon and nobody has really been able to offer me any help

on paper I have an IQ of around 130, so theoretically most doors are open to me; however in practice I struggle with everyday tasks involving time, sequence and prudent dispensation of assets

it was the belief of my old careers teacher that I would be in prison by 18, he said that I could do anything, but given the choice would choose...
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>>17398522
Have you ever been this way? I also have a high IQ on paper, but am dumb as fuck, but wasn't until this head problem that I don't know what it is hit me in 2012.
I also am kind of edgy and creepy, but have always been like this.

Hey /adv/, my next door neighbor wants to kick my ass and I have no idea why. I have never even talked to the guy before.

Every few days he starts yelling loudly in his backyard calling me shit and shouting me threats. He threw a rock at my window once and told me to come out.

When I did come out to take out the trash, he and his whole gang stared at me while doing it.

I have literally no idea what I did to wrong him, what should I do lads?
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>>17398483
Try calling him by telephone, record the audio. Record a video of he threatening you, but don't let him notice.
And when he is not doing anything wrong to threaten you, call the police and show them everything, so they can arrest him while he is vulnerable.
>>
>>17398490
If it doesn't work out, just move the hell out of there.
>>
Stop being weak. Settle it like a man.

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For those anons who are no longer with the first person they fell in love with:

1) Your gender
2) Your current age
3) What relationship do you have with him/her now? Do you have any contact still?
4) How do you feel about him/her?
5) Do you have any regrets?
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>Male
>21
>Neutral, we sometimes message each other on facebook
>I like her but there are somethings about her that I just don't understand, she was never particulary bright but sometimes she made no damn sense at all
>That I didn't fuck her more, she was and still is the most beautiful girl I've ever met
>>
>>17398462
>Male
>18
>Friends, yea plenty
>I think she's a bright and funny, but is damaged and not fit for a relationship. Still stunning
>Not really
>>
>>17398462
>male
>33
>none
>love her
>that i wasn't there to protect her when she died

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I am one of those people who post repetitively on /adv/ as I like to update my situation. Some people here can recognize me. I am scared of people irl being able to recognize my threads. What are the chances of that happening?
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>>17398435
It would entirely depend on if anyone from real life that you know checks this site. But if they don't highly unlikely.
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>>17398435
Cover your camera.
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>>17398442
keked

also, just alter small details that don't change the problem you search advice for. for example, if it's about realtionships, say you are together a month more or less than you actually are. or say she has a brother when she has a sister irl. it will make it impossible to track it to you

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this is an image.png
635 KB,
So I'm one of those poor souls on his way to wizard status in my late 20s, and my life has been pretty fucked. Or rather, I have. I lost most of my family and grew up into some pretty terrible misconceptions and emotional leans that made me a useless piece of shit living on the good will of others because I had "promise".
My parents also told me that girls were made of kryptonite and bees when I was little, presumably to thwart experimentation that never existed, and that was only reinforced by family friends with terrible relationships telling me that women...
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You start by making friends. Hang out with your coworkers or find people with similar interests/hobbies. From there, maybe a relationship will blossom. Friendship is the first step though.
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Make some friends.

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ghostbusters.jpg
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What do you value in life?
What are your aims or what do you feel your purpose is?
What activities do you enjoy already and what would you like to try?
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>>17398387
I want to rule the world, literally.
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Value: family, wealth, free time, privacy.

Aims: Marry a qt in next year, startup my own company, a good work/life balance. Nofap going strong 16days now, aiming for 90.

Purpose: Maintain assets, see my parents retire and enjoy having grandkids/ free time.

Activities: Sex and more freaky sex with qt wife, whisky, gardening and growing crops. Visiting my village and farmland "back home".
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>>17398476
so essentially, to live a life everybody else lives
enjoy your emptiness


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