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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 682. page
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What steps must I take to becoming a person who will be welcomed into online communities, easily make new friends, not make a romantic relationship boring after a while, etc.?

How do I pinpoint what is unlikable/boring about me and fix it?
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>>17395347
>online communities
Pretend you're a girl. 100% chance of becoming popular, well-liked, and validated
>>
>>17395347

you arent asking how to be likeable so much as how to be popular.

there is a big difference. some of your things also contradict themselves. being likeable is something that is hard for you, so easily make new friends is not an option. it is hard exhausting and a struggle to become the manipulator you want to be. the biggest tastk is manipulating yourself.

as for being popular
>be attractive
>always hold the popular opinion (leftist mostly,...
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>>17395359
He's right, OP.

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>most of my friends are female
>my aesthetic has been called "coffee shop"
>straight, but have been called feminine and "everyone's straight gay best friend"

Never worried about this until this morning. Should I try to change myself?
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>>17395340
You're giving a fuck. Never Do that.
>>
ya I fail to see the problem here
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>>17395340

depends. has this hindered you? in what ways?

post a picture of yourself as well for more advice. if you're too afraid to do that we
1) cant give you advice and
2) know you wont have the balls to use any advice we give

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Is my hairine receding? I'm 19 y/o and this shit is really bothering me. I can't tell if I was born with a fucked up hairline (never noticed it or took pictures 'til now), or if my hairline is actually receding. I've always had really fast growing thick hair since I was young. I don't want to lose this shit, man.
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sorry for the big ass pimple
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>>17395336
also sorry for the low quality picture
>>
I freaked out too. Most men lose some hair around their temples. It's receding, but usually it's at an unimportant rate that won't matter til you're in your 40s or some shit and look like a dog anyway.

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Tfw I sat on a bench today smoking and two drunkards/tramps sitting on a bench nearby saw me and tried to get a cig.
I'm tired of dealing with those types so I just told them I have nothing, even though I just put the cigs in my pocket.

Later on I sat on another bench and they were nearby again, and one of them went up to me and asked if he can have a question mister.
I said fuck no and as he continued fucking with me I got angry and stood up to signal that he should fuck off, though I had trouble staying cool and confident so it was more like I lost control...
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>>17395322
Move out of brown town.
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>>17395322
maybe stop being a piece of shit person and start being an actually good person, helping out those who were less fortunate than you
>>
Money spent for alc or cigs is nothing but wasted. Moreover you have the right to decline if someone asks you for a cigarette. Just keep calm while doing so.

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I'm pissed. Some fast food worker was very rude to me today and I'm not sure if I should call the manager about it.

>Be me, 18 y/o male who looks VERY young
>Lots of times people will ask me if I'm old enough to drive
>Pull up to the drive thru window
>Older lady stares at me with a horrible attitude and says "Really?"
>She then yells at her worker to "Come look at this" while looking...
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>>17395299

ehhh. its hard to say. id be pretty fucking pissed to to be honest.
>>
Just because you look like a baby, doesn't mean you should act like one.
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>>17395299
I would complain to management and say that she made you feel really uncomfortable

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>I kept scoring 20-22 on the ACT.
>My parents spent a good sum of money to enroll me in a practice ACT class.
>My score has not improved at all.
>All we do is review grade school math and how to read, as well as take a practice test once every two weeks.
>I know how do all of that just fine.
>I am unable to focus through the entire test.
>My scores decrease...
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Adderoll
>>
>>17395264

Work out, go early to bed, rise early, eat vegan or at least healthy
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>>17395264
If you want to do well on the ACT, then you need to become more familiar with the logic behind the questions. I don't know what they do in ACT classes, but you don't need someone to tell you how to take the test.

What are your subscores?

>I got a 30 on the ACT

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Every social group I find myself in, from middle school, to high school, to college, to post-grad life, I end up being "that guy". It's fun to be silly and make jokes for me. When people just sit there and talk about boring shit like the weather or how many errands they ran that day I just want to jump off a bridge.

The problem is that this leads to people seeing me as a "clown" and overtime, I get taken less and less seriously until I have 0 respect in the group at all and I just peace out to find other people to hang with.

What do I need to fix?
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>>17395248

had a similar issue, not anymore.

first and foremost, stand the fuck up for yourself. one of my friends started referring to me as a female cuz he thought it'd be funny. by joke three i said 'call me a female again, and I'll hurt you'. he said 'geeze, sorry birthday girl' so i elbowed him. laughed and called me 'christina' (names christopher) so i whacked him hard in the face with a gallon of water. hasn't called me a female since.

when it comes to jokes...
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For years now, I have been carrying something which felt like a heavy burden. Something which always negatively influenced my concentration, academic performance, mood, to an extent my social life.
I carried this feeling and problem to university, thinking everything would be all right.

>It was not.

I formally didn't pass my first year at university, not getting enough points as i didn't pass enough exams (passed about half). And the exams I did pass, i didn't pass well, just barely passing.
Now, it is suspected...
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>>17395243

My wife has depression. It took months, but I talked her into treatment after she skidded through her first year and bombed her second. She got a Master's at Columbia and had a six-figure job lined up after graduating. No one gives a fuck about your first few years in college, since those classes are all time-wasters designed to weed out the idiots. Future schools and employers only care about the later, more focused coursework. You have nothing to worry about.

...except that you write like a C student,...
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>>17395277
Those are very reassuring words, anon. Thank you.

The only main difference between your wife's situation and mine, may be that i am in Europe, where we don't have those 'weeding out' college years.
It is major all the way through, for three years, after which you have a Bachelor. Therefore, theoretically every exam and grade may have a deeper impact.

Then again, this is not to discredit what you have said and your wife has done.

It is reassuring to know that there may still...
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Hey... I'm having the same problem.
Except I don't even know if I am doing the right thing in Chemical Engineering. It all sounded so promising, idk. Its just that I don't really have a second plan, I tried spending some months away and nothing. I just want to do nothing. I have a few people that matter to me and spending time with them or procrastinating is all I REALLY feel like ever doing. So since I already luckied out and got enough grades to be approved on such a good university and courses, since I know I have the mental potential (never had to make...
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I found a boyfriend using okcupid. Kinda ashamed at the fact that I had to stoop down to using a dating site instead of using in real life. I'm very shy and there's not a lot of choices near me since I'm a small town girl, living in bumfuck nowhere.

Best of all he's 22, I'm 24. He's not some run of the mill 19 year old. I get a ton of 19 year olds attracted to me and I just can't help but think of their immaturity and age gap.

So yeah if I tell someone "we met on the Internet" or "we met on a dating site" how...
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>>17395215

literally everyone is on tinder these days, so no one cares. its not 2006.
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>>17395215

It's not uncommon these days. Most people won't give a damn.
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>>17395215
Would have to say first reaction would be how long had you known the person and how was their personality from what you could gather.

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My gf of 2.5 years broke up with me, she said we hadn't been spending enough time together and she felt I wasn't treating her right. A few days before we broke up I noticed her texting some guy, didn't think anything of it at first, then a few days later she asked if I wanted to hang out with them because it'd be weird for them to hangout considering we're still dating, they decided they shouldn't
However, literally the next day he gave her a ride home from work because he worked near her, again I though, fair enough, she needed a ride home....
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Now you suck it up, learn from your mistakes, and get a younger model.
>>
You got enough replies last threat.

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First bf ever who took my virginity broke up with me and I still kinda like him and we still hook up regularly with is now dating my older sister and fucking her less than 2 months after our Breakup

Please help
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>>17395186
cut contact and move out of your house
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>>17395186
If he is doing that as >>17395190 said you should cut contact with him cause he ain't worth it at all.
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>>17395190
I love him

I also miss typed 1 month* please I just can't

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Hey guys, so last friday me and my friend went to buy w33d. It was a buddy of mine (who just goes and gets it, not the actual seller) whom I've known for 3 years, we just knew eachother not friends really. He has a very good reputation on the streets so ofc I trusted him. Gave him enough money for it, then he just tells me to go home and he'll get it later. Next day he messages me telling that the seller will return the money to me, but he didnt know when. Im starting to get frustrated already. wat do
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>>17395181
>pay for product
>don't receive product


I mean, I don't know how else to spell it out for you.

S-U-C-K-E-R
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>>17395184
kk
>>
shameless bump but I forgot to tell some parts, esentially my buddy said that the plan "failed" and I'll either get my gram or the money back. He didn't go into details of what happened and such

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I can't keep living like this anymore. Either I need to get my shit together, or fucking kill myself, no other workaround. No, I'm not in a crisis and suicidal, I'm just mad and infuriated.

Every single fucking time I decide to get some studying done (got a huge test coming up in a month), I start studying, and eventually have to take a piss or whatever in my bathroom, and every time, since there's a mirror in the bathroom, I see my reflection, and immediately go from 100-0%, become instantly depressed, and start going "what's the point...
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first and foremost, post a picture. if you refuse to do that, then we cant really help you, so delete thread if you wont post a picture of yourself.


second,
>if i looked decent i wouldnt have these issues

yes you would. its more or less an excuse. the grass is always greener. you are not the ugliest person in the world. and if you were just 'decent' you'd still not be the ugliest person in the world. yet a lot of decent people still have your problem, or they have other problems.
>>
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>>17395171
I agree with what you say, except with saying that I would have all these issues still, when the fact is it all stems from being unhappy with how I look. It's as simple as that.

Here you go.
You can't say I look normal, you're a fucking liar if you do.
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>>17395246

>when the fact is it all stems from being unhappy with how i look

yes, and considering you arent the ugliest person in the world, you would still have these feelings if you looked a little better. you are insisting that you'd know the difference. you wouldnt. we all hate the skin were in and wish to be more like more attractive people.

that being said, you arent that bad. the idea that surgery couldnt fix you is ridiculous, a little surgery would go a long way.

but...
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>friend confesses she's in love with me
>always kind of knew, but I was flirty with her anyways because I was in denial, i.e. "no I'm not leading her on, we're just friends"
>kiss her one drunken night and we start dating, with the hopes that my feelings will develop for her
>who am I kidding, I really want to but I can't force it either
>try to tell her we shouldn't talk anymore because...
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>>17395151

Love has been a meme since before history began. The vast majority of marriages before the past hundred years or so were done for business or survival purposes. The longer you live with someone, the closer you'll get (assuming you're actually healthy for each other, mentally, and work through any problems instead of coping). Sex hormones will just add to that.

Love itself is a chemical reaction that largely wears off after a couple years, anyway. The whole biological point is just to facilitate...
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>>17395151

what people say is not what people do.

how many times have you heard a guy pledge undying love for a woman they would never have, only to be over it in a month? how many times have you felt something so strongly you assumed it was infinite and you look back at the affirmations you made and felt silly or cringy?

this is no different. the girl says
>if there is even a 1% chance

she is really saying
>I CAN MAKE YOU LOVE ME

she...
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>>17395167
She is a great person. And it's not even friendship. I don't know how to explain it, but she means more to me than just my "best friend", but at the same time I can't make the jump and make her my girlfriend either.

Why does it seem like weed is so popular now?

Back when I smoked like a few years ago it seemed like I was the only person who did it and you never saw people wearing clothes with pot leaves on them.

Now it is like you can't meet someone who doesn't smoke and every where you turn there is some drug reference.

What happened or did I just not notice it before because I was doing it too?
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nigga, i rode a trolley back in like 96 and a nigga was wearing a weed bandana what the fuck you talking about?
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>>17395141

>why does it seem like weed is so popular now

because it is.

>no one seemed to smoke it before but now people do

yes.

whats the actual problem here?
>>
I've literally had marijuana out in front of an officer, and all he said to me was "We're not in Colorado, you know?" And then ignored it and continued with his noise complaint check up.

It's decriminalized. Police don't care. It's legal all across the states if you include reservations and medical.

I made a new youtube channel. Give me some feedback please? A like would be awesome and a sub would make me smile

Top 5 weirdest animals!


https://youtu.be/DK0GhCSrgTQ
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>>17395138

>GUISE IM DEFINITELY NOT ADVERTISING I SINCERELY WANT FEEDBACK

well, if you insist: dont be shit. a sexy accent only goes so far. you arent doing this because it is something you want to do, but rather because you want to have the prestige that others have.

thats why insted of doing something unique or special to you, you are doing what thousands of other channels with already established fanbases do: lists.

you arent going to compete and your ideas are just...
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A few years ago I was sleeping with a close friend and fell for her hard, and then she ended it in a shitty way. I could blame her for that, but the truth is there were lots of things I could and should have done differently - I never told her how I really felt about her, I was afraid to initiate things, and so on. Further, there were a few extra reasons why it probably wouldn't have worked out long-term between us anyway. Also, she wanted us to 'stay friends', but I made the decision to ask her not to contact me again, and cut her out of my life completely. I...
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>>17395134

>I feel like until I regain control of the situation, eg by her asking for a second chance with me and me refusing, then it will always feel like I 'lost'

Because you did lose. You had something good and didn't handle it properly, so now that something good is with someone else. She will never want a second chance with you, and never thinks about you. Quit believing you matter to people that aren't in your life.

Go out and get a new girl, since...
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>>17395191
Well like I say, there were other factors at play which meant a long-term relationship was never really on the cards for us, but yeah - I did lose. I wanted to carry on being with her, and she rejected me. I don't believe I matter to her particularly (although she has tried to reach out to me a few times, to see how I'm getting on) - I acknowledge that the problem is with me. I just don't know how to fix the problem, taking that tough love approach with myself doesn't seem to work.

You're...
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>>17395400
Don't lose hope anon. Several of my bro friends had similar stories. They hadn't been social for years, fell out of the loop of regular life, pining over the one special girl that got away. But once they got out and started making friends it really did make all the difference. My buddy George was like that, I ended up introducing him to a friend of mine and she and him have been happy together for over a year now.

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4chan, how can I get a woman to ask me (a man) out on a date?
I live in England which I guess is probably pretty progressive when it comes to things like this, but (apart from a few times at school) I have never seen or heard of a man being asked out by a woman. How do I make it happen? Do I need to change the way I flirt?
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>>17395119

if there was a clear distinct pattern beyond 'be attractive' then the whole world would already be using it. it is common place for the man to ask a girl on a date. england isnt considered progressive so far as i know, but rather that its really hard to get a girlfriend even if you are the aggressor. this is all just hearsay though.

the bigger question is why do you need the woman to ask you out?
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>>17395136
I don't /need/ it, I would just like it. It'd be an ego massage, and may also mean she'd be the kind of aggressive, dominant partner that I'd like.
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>>17395166

well if you havent been attractive enough to warrant it now, it may not happen ever.

i went to an anime party a few months ago and a girl asked me on a date, but she was by no means a looker

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Should I feel ashamed about asking my grandparents for financial help? I live on my own on minimum wage. My dad has already done what he can and my mother just doesn't care because they're divorced and she says that he should be entirely responsible for my wellbeing.

I need about 2000 dollars to go to school and pay off the majority of my debt.

I feel like such a scumbag for asking them even though she has offered me financial help before when I was in need but I refused. But now I really need it.
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>>17395117

if they offered it to you before, no you shouldnt feel bad. however id maybe scale that down and pick up extra work. even if that extra owrk is just letting a few old fags suck ur dick for 150 a pop.
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>>17395117
if 2 grand pays off the majority of your debt, id say youre not doing too bad. as long as you have a clearly defined plan to repay your dad or grandparents or whoever, i dont think you have anything to be ashamed of. ive borrowed from family before, and it worked out well. just stay on top of your finances and dont fuck up on the repayment.

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Gentlemen and gentleladies (ha), I have a promotion coming up. The TL who's taking me on (and my former TL) asked me to tell my current manager that I'm going to the other team, so I have a quick meeting scheduled when I get to work.

1. Should I wear a tie? Jacket? Usually I roll up my sleeves because it's business casual, so people are gonna be like "whaaat you doin."

2. Anything I should say or ask her in particular? She already knows I'll be moving since the other team is in the same division and they discussed it already with her...
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>>17395110
First of all congrats on the promotion.

If it's a formality, just dress as you normally would for work. If there is a business casual vibe there, then I bet nobody would think anything of it.

Sounds like it might be a kind of exit interview? She might have some questions to ask about how you think things went on her team/impressions/what could be improved or maybe she will be doing a quick performance review. It really depends on how things are done at your company so it is hard to say.

I...
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Is it possible to live on your own on a waiters salary? Rent would be about 600 a month and starting work soon
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A waiters salary is very broad, and you have to be pretty damn good at what you do consistently to make that kind of money.

Is it a nice restraunt? Is there a tip out?
>>
Depends on the restaurant. Hope you're working the weekend shifts and a few doubles. I live with 2 roommates as a waiter/bartender and I still have money to go out have fun. I'd definitely be pinching pennies if I lived alone though.
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>>17395108

my friend does that at about 700 a month plus his car expenses, so it is possible but he works at what is considered the most busy buffalo wild wings in the world and hes also a magician so performs illusions for all his clients.

however it is a buffalo wild wings, so the tips arent super high to begin with, a nicer restaurant might have better tips.

it really does depend on your tips and your shifts.

So I am going to the beach tomorrow with some friends and I want to get rid of my back hair and my shoulder hair since there is a lot of it. I bought nair but I was wondering what is the most effective way to use it?
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>>17395103
If you're a guy why do you give a fuck about hair on your back?

And if you're a girl and you have a hairy ass back maybe go to a doctor?
>>
>>17395103

what? you just use it man theres not some secret combo here. follow the instructions, look at a tutorial online if you must
>>
>>17395121
im a guy but its really hairy but not all over so its weirdly patchy and gross
>>17395129
well is it good in the shower? or just over a bucket?

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Do white women really love big black cock?
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>>17395099
They wouldn't lie on those porn videos, would they?

Anyway, good bait, but it's very common for women to AVOID black men.
That big cock thing? It's just a vocal minority, some size queens do exist, but on the whole racism is stronger than sizeism.
>>
>>17395099
australia pls
there are plenty of boards for you to shitpost on, leave /adv/ alone
>>
>>17395099
Yes. I love Tyrone's huge package, and how he works it. When he's above me, I can feel him taking revenge for 400 years of the white man's oppression. I'm the innocent plantation owner's daughter, ravaged by my lusty slave.

Don't get me wrong, I love my white bf too. He takes me places and pays for dates. And he buys my "I want to stay a virgin until marriage" line. But as soon as he goes home? I'm on the phone to my black bull.

I wish that I could cuck my...
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my relationship with my mothers parents has always been great. as a child they took care of me often after school while my mom supported me by herself. they've played a great role in my life and i am very close with them

i'm turning 21 this year and i have moved out to a city a few hours away. i visit once or twice a month.

although recenty, they have been aging at a quick rate and have been growing more and more bitter. i can't even make a joke anymore without them turning it into some dark, existential commentary. after hanging out with them, i...
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>>17395076

don't do it today. just visit less frequently. it is an unfortunate and natural part of life, and ur grandparents are no exception. if they are down and sad about it, visit them once a month, and only for dinner. perhaps they will change with time. perhaps they will get worse. adjust accordingly. its okay to not want to be around awful people.

my dads awful to. see him twice a year
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>>17395076
Visit. Trust me, you will regret it if you don't. If it is difficult, give yourself an exit - "I can only stay an hour this time because I have to . . . ."

And phone them once a week. Again, you can control the time, and it will mean an enormous amount to them, and to you.

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Am I making a mountain out of nothing?

I'm quite pissed off. Green text for story:
>Close friend of mine has mental breakdown
>Moves somewhere quieter to get her head together
>Call her daily to check in
>She takes a turn for the worse and stops responding
>Only talks to a mutual friend of ours
>Mutual friend agrees to keep in contact
>We can...
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Please/adv/
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>>17395071
What are the ages of the people involved? Are you male? Do you have romantic feelings for this close friend?

Why do you feel like you need to be in contact so much? If she is in recovery, the best thing for her might be to be alone. The daily calls and requests for info might be stressing her out and not helping.

Now, I'm only privy to the information you gave me; but to me you seem way too invested. If your friend wanted your help she would reach out, either personally or through this intermediary....
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>Go to job interview
>They start making me personal questions
>Ask about my family
>Never been asked about it, so when they ask me what my dad does i said he was deceased
>she asks me why i live with my grandparents
>say it's just because it's in the center of town but imply i have a great relationship with my mom and stepfather but they live in the country side

Should I just pretend I live with a big normal family? I'm scared they'd find out, so I went with the truth but tried to portray my family life as stable. Did I fuck up?
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anyone?
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>>17395057
Odd questions but excellent answers. Relax.
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>>17395057
You did well. I wouldn't have answered these questions in the first place, but you did alright with your answers.

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How do I have more energy when hanging out with people? Tomorrow, I'm spending two whole days with my girlfriend, who I love but find I become very tired around after a few hours of talking. It's not just her; I get tired of talking and social interaction very quickly with everyone, including my family, except these two days will require me to have enough energy to talk, make jokes, have sex, and stay up late, as well as a concert and going to the gym. Not stuff I'm used to doing in two days nonstop.

Any way to be energized by other people, or just stay...
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Be happy you have someone who is caring for you and your feelings.

Be happy you have someone who spends time with you
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>>17395014
Understand what you have going for you. Its someone you care for and they return that care and affection. Someone who wants to spend two days with you. Be yourself, and sometimes its ok just to chill and be quiet with people. There isnt anyone alive in this entire planet who has enough content to talk for 2 days. Be it best friends, or a married couple thats been together for 50 years. If the person is right then if your just chilling watching tv or just doing whatever and its not super akward or you feel like you...
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>>17395014

you are a bit of an introvert. its hard, but if you guys are going to eventually move in together or that sort of thing, then you will have to adjust to longer periods of itme with her. this is mostly done by doing your own thing in the same space. awkard at firstb ut you get over it.

this is the first thing.

for the next two days just 'do it'. when/if there is any downtime just lay down and relax. if she asks 'what do you want to do' just suggest that you guys should relax,...
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My dick gets really hard in the morning and I don't want to fap to get rid of it, what do? Its uncomfortable to sleep when its hard
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Go about your morning and take a piss.
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>>17395013
>Take a piss
>Dicks rock solid
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>>17395015
It's called morning wood and it's how your body keeps you from wetting the bed at night. Piss and it'll go way almost instantly.

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how can i start conversation with someone working at a dentist? She isn't a doctor just someone who sits at the counter, i plan on asking her out to the county fair but dont want to be too direct.
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bumpng
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>>17394984
Two step process:

1. Chat with her the next time you're there, about anything or nothing. Then "It's fun talking with you, but you have to get back to work. When is your break? I'll buy the coffee."

2. Chat more at the coffee and then ask her out.
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>>17394984
Small talk, and bring up how you'd like to go to the country fair and about some of the attractions. If she seems interested in the subject, stay on it. She'll ask if you're going to go. Say you don't want to go by yourself, then ask if she'd go with you.

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How do I stop getting IBS?
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>>17394973
change your diet
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>>17394973
eat:kefir, fish, and curry spices, other anti-inflammatory food, get a decent amount of fibre but not too much, you may want to experiment seeing how much you can tolerate

avoid: sugar, red meat, especially processed meat, try to stay cool in hot weather if you can because it stresses your body and fucks with your gi tract's flora
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>>17394973
First, be absolutely sure that you have IBS. There are other conditions which have similar syptoms, like celiac or diverticulitis. Has your doctor diagnosed you? Have you tried an online consult?


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