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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 696. page
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How do you get over a crush you see almost everyday? I have a crush on a coworker and I don't even know why. We just started talking to each other recently and I realized we like almost the same things. But to be honest I don't think I have hope with him at all. It worries me because lately I feel like he stares at me sometimes and I've skipped a pair of beats when I see him.
So please, any advice, tips, whatever. I don't want my heart to suffer for a unrequited love.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17389434

>I feel like he stares at me sometimes

He probably likes you if you're of at least average looks and have some common interests. Ask him if he's interested.
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>>17389434
>I feel like he stares at me sometimes and I've skipped a pair of beats when I see him.
You made a thread here, like a day or two ago about your coworker staring at you.
I swear you people are either underage or sheltered af or just needy for attention, I swear.
This board is not your diary.
>>
>>17389468
What? It wasn't me. And when I say "I feel" I mean it's just that, a feel, not a fact, probably my imagination. I guess that can happen to anyone, but because I like him I imagine that he stares at me but probably not.

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>"You don't talk much do you?"

Why do people ask me this sometimes? Is this code for what's wrong with you?
3 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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It's a stupid question but kind of logical if you think about it, it's a simple ice breaker, one of the first things a person notices about you.

They probably just want to start a conversation anon, I know the question itself kind of contradicts that but people usually don't think that far.
>>
they're just trying to be friendly and get you to open up a bit more

I'm a pretty quiet guy as well, I don't have many (any?) friends so I'm pretty awkward in social scenarios that sometimes crop up at work but I do open up a lot more one on one. It's something I've really got to work on.

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The occasional cigarette is not enough to stave off the lack of joy. Should I try drinking? It's cheaper and slightly healthier.

Inb4: fix your life. Most of my life is waiting around for the next event that is going to help me fix my life...The next one is two days away, and then the next is a week away.

Please give advice. Thank.
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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use your imagination read books... it can be a great escape and improve your mental state
>>
Why do you have to wait for events? Do something now
>>
>>17389429
You need to change your life.

If you just live even to event, you'll never be happy.
You need to do something that makes existing worth while.

Some people find careers. Others find children.

So due to something of a dragged out mental breakdown I've moved to a different state, by myself. Coincidentally my few friends from that state moved away a month into me being here.

I now have no close friends, only co-workers and shitty friends of my roomates whom I have very low interest in talking to or spending any time with.

I'm becoming more irritable, I've taken up opiates again, and I'm feeling pretty dead inside. Not sure how to handle my current situation.

The only thing keeping my from flipping my shit like I did a few months ago is exercise and drug use.

Help?
5 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17389328
im in the same situation but without the drugs. Lets hug~
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>>17389349
sure wish it were that easy
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>>17389328
Neeeever take opiates.
Drugs are fine but opiates are a fucking no go because they're literally a replacement for happiness.
They're happiness you inject into your arm.
You will NEVER feel happier than when you inject that shit into your arm.

Be a drunk like regular people.

Anywho, join dorky clubs.
They're mostly full of people who just want to make friends.
Most cities are full of them.
Do you have a chapter of "Beer Runners"?
They're a club from...
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If a woman always ask you to share a cigarette with her (even if she smokes and can afford her consumption), craves 4 phisycal contact and teases you, one should say she likes you right? Problem is she does it with me in front of her boyfriend.

Wtf.jpg

Any advice?
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Life is pretty complicated, man. People aren't always clean-cut, simple, and predictable. What do you want advice with?

This tiny synapsis of the situation is not enough for anyone to truly comprehend it, by the way. You have more information than we do.
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>>17389260
Excuse me.Story is longer.I've been into her, she had no couple when we met.A year later she contacts me (already met her current bf) knowing I was into her.We go out a few times, I tried to kissed her, she refuses but kept insisting on seeing each other.I took distance, she tells her bf about me.We talked, all clear like men.But always in a meeting she starts with this tricks
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>>17389255
Bumping for knowledge

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How do you get yourself to have other goals or interests than romantic love?

The only way I can ever motivate myself to do anything or go anywhere is a "maybe I'll meet someone nice there" and never the thing itself.
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I've tried alcohol but recently the charm has worn off and it only makes my loneliness more glaringly obvious.
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Find a interest that you genuinely burn for and let that become your #1 priority in life.
For me it's skateboarding. It might seem like a meaningless hobby but it has helped me in so many ways. It's my source of entertainment, my way of clearing my head of worries and stress and generally just what I want to do with my life. It takes the pressure off other things like love, work and everyday challenges.

If you haven't already got one, search harder, try new things, be open minded, try them out for a while. Perhaps you'll find that you burn for several things.
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>>17389365
Like what?

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Okay I am a gullible fool. I often get into trouble for doing the right thing. I have very strong morals. I am an atheist, I believe in equality etc etc. No matter how much I try, I can't cheat. If I do something wrong I feel guilty as fuck (unless it doesn't hurt individuals).

The one and only ideal that defines me, is my belief in romance. I would live and die by the idea that every man has that one woman who is/was made for him.

But going to internet and between these forums, I am starting to wonder if women (atleast western women) start sucking hundred...
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31 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Dude get off the computer and go live your life
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>>17389142
>is it not possible to get a good, decent, strong, clean, moral- obsessed girl like me?

It's possible. I'm like that, and I'm a girl. I think having one life partner is absolutely ideal, and that's what I want most.

But I have to agree with >>17389144
4chan, especially boards like /r9k/ and /adv/, are filled with negativity and will not help you in life. You should limit your time in places like these...
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>I have very strong morals. I am an atheist, I believe in equality etc etc

*Tips Fedora*

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>tfw you've wasted your life and you'll never be great at anything
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Turn your computer off and get your ass outside. You'll only be stuck in this circle of self pity as long as you allow yourself to be - go pursue shit that interests you, since if you're so far gone, why the fuck do you care what others think about you?
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>>17389129
Let's all love Lain.
>>
how old are you?

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Welp im 30 265lbs, today is my first day without a beer in about 3 months, no day job, no real fucking skills to speak of, married with 2 kids, im not pleased with my current situation but im not sure how to proceed any advice from anons who have pulled there selves up from the bottom would be appreciated, I know im not getting any younger and shit needs to happen soon
20 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17389126
Not drinking is a very good idea.

Education (either formal or on your own) is one of the conventional paths to being employable.
>>
what happened to your last job?
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>>17389227
I realize that cutting back on the drink is a necessary part of getting my shit together, education not so much it really isn't an option for me now age/money ect plus I live in a small poor town where a college degree isn't going to help me anyway.

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I need a foolproof plan for asking out a girl, /adv/.

I've only spoken to this girl on a handful of occasions, and she probably suspects that I'm socially retarded and don't have many friends.

As you can see, I'm at a disadvantage, but I need to follow my heart and ask her out! That's why I definitely need an infallible strategy!

Please help me, /adv/!

Pic not really related, although it is a picture of a girl.
18 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>girl
>whale

Pick one.

Just ask her out some place to grab food, or ice cream, or what have you. If you can't see her in person, shoot her a quick "Hey" and tell her "I'm headed out to grab X soon, and wouldn't mind some company."

If she goes for it - awesome. Give her a time, and go for it. If not, pretend nothing happened, just acknowledge it and move on.
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>>17389123
>I need a foolproof plan for asking out a girl, /adv/.
Welp, good luck with that.
>>
Put yourself in a mindset where rejection is no big deal, then ask.

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I'm 28 and would like to hear from other 27-29 year olds what you're up to in your lives, if you work, what your job is, if you're married, if you have kids, what your interests are, how you spend your free time, what you're doing today and tonight.

I'm feeling strangely alienated and cut off from the world and need some kind of input from my peers to get a sense of my place in life right now. Thanks!
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28 years old
Bachelor's in economics from Harvard, MBA from Harvard Business School
Investment banker at Goldman Sachs, make $200k base plus bonuses (last year I made $500k total)
Not married, and no kids, but I have a fiancée
I don't have a lot of spare time (I have to do a lot of overtime and I'm expected to go out with my colleagues a lot), but I learn languages (I speak French and Hebrew and I'm learning Mandarin)
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>>17389121
27
Still live with parents. I have less than 10k in the bank. 1 year left before I finish my useless bachelor's in Linguistics. I might have a shoulder problem and it's been on my mind more than relationships and my financial situation.
>>
I've spent the past 3/4 years dragging myself from the NEET-dom of my parent's basement to starting my PhD at my field's top school, where I'm paid decently and have made a lot of friends. I have enough money to go traveling on breaks and I have fun though difficult work. Tonight I'm doing nothing, but most days this week I've had people to hang out with and have dinner, drink, whatever.

I haven't had a relationship in 6 years or so, and it was a shitty one, but I'm proud of having turned myself into an independent and far more...
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>23 yr old male

"When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself"

I had some edibles last night before going to a techno party. It was great, enjoyed some music and my friends' company, but when the edibles really really started to kick in, I just got super introspective about my life choices. In the middle of the dance floor I went from jumping up and down and being loose to silently bobbing my head while I cry internally at not calling my parents enough, not being nicer to xyz, or just thinking of shit from waaaay...
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9 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17389118
Try a different kind of weed. Or just stop. I don't smoke pot a lot because it makes me feel bad about myself.
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>>17389118
You probably just have anxiety and repress it. Drugs and alcohol in general tend to show our own extremes more obviously, and what you're describing ("going over the edge") is textbook anxiety. Check if you have anxiety with your doctor.
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>>17389118
>"When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself"

This is oversimplification to the point of falsehood. When you smoke, THC crosses the blood-brain barrier and starts minicing anandamide, and generally making large swaths of your brain function differently. That's the real description of what's going on chemically.

Talking about what effects you will *percieve* is shaky at best, because perception is notoriously messy and biased. To be brief, it may...
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how can you tell if one of your friends hates you?
I have this one person, used to talk all the time about random stuff, and he helped me a lot.
Now he never talks to me, and when he does, he always makes it about himself.
I feel like he hates me now.
Is there an easy way to tell?
4 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Bump. I want to know this too
>>
You fucking ask. jesus. He's your friend rite?
>>
The answers are right in front of you its up to you to have the courage to peer through the veil of how you think things should be and see it for what it is... with that; it could be a few different scenarios depending on how you play your part in the relationship - but based off what you are giving us...

- Hes going through a change and doesn't know how to express himself. what he used to act like with you he doesn't find the wherewithal to be that person anymore, so he feels awkward around you, for fear that who is is now you will end up hating.

-Hes...
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I'm thinking about proposing to my gf of 18 months. I don't know if I know her well enough, though. I think I love her, but I'm not even sure I know her that well cause she's displaying some strange behavior very different from 6 months ago.

Haven't met her family. About 12 months ago she invited me to meet her mom, but I chickened out cause I didn't know how serious we were going to be. I think she might be a massive slut, just don't have any proof of it... could very well be she's just a very sexual person like me. Could also...
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If you're not absolutely sure about it, then don't. This is the type of shit you need to be 100% on before proceeding.
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Go on vacation with her for a week just the two of you together, to a place where there's nothing to do like Lake Louise or the Hamptons. Then make your decision. Imagine the strangeness of new surroundings, the excitement of being somewhere new, and the stress of being together 24x7 for a week.
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>>17389023
>she'll have to leave the country in a couple of months because of her immigration status
don't marry her idiot she was only dating you so she could stay.

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Would a relationship between a 20 year old girl and a 36 year old guy work? Is the age gap too large?
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Depends on a few things like both your maturity levels, what you guys are wanting out of your lives (careers, family etc...). Also, im just assuming this is meant to be long term.
>>
To put it one way: Four years ago he would be twice her age.

To put it a different way: Why not? Age is just the number of rounds around the sun's path through the Milky Way. It totally depends on the parties involved.

To put it yet another way: In most cases no, but not because he's too old for her, but because she's too young for him.
>>
Didn't you already make a thread about this?

No, it probably won't work out. You're still basically a child and he's a full blown adult

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I'm supposed to start university in a while, and I need help deciding what to pick to study. I'm deciding between physics and engineering.

I was always lazy to do math, so when I realised my life would probably end up like shit if I didn't learn math, I decided to take a gap year to try and learn all of high school math, to make up for years of laziness.
I always believed I was inherently bad at it and was scared of it, but after doing it for almost a year and actually focusing and understanding what I was learning, I realised it's not so bad.

I...
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15 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Being a just an engineering major can be an option for at least the first year, you can easily switch, just make sure you aren't
1)following stem meme just bc you were told to
2)try to find something that you know there will be a job market for.
Don't listen to people who throw fluff in your direction(i.e. Follow your passion and it will lead to a happy life)
>>
Physics will certainly take longer to establish a career in, but it's not impossible. If all you want is a bachelor's, then don't bother with physics because it will be difficult (not impossible) to find a job as compared with an engineering major. If going on to get a masters/PhD sounds appealing to you, by all means go for it. Also keep in mind that both majors are pretty much the same for the first couple of years, so I wouldn't feel pressured to decide just yet.
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>>17388797
Engineers have an equally bad time with jobs. Just major in what you love and intern in your summers. Just cut the crap and go to a temp agency. They'll get you in a position that'll be comfy.

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happened two days ago at midnight
>meet qt3.14 on tinder
>talk a bit
>get snapchat
>send snap
>opens 2 hours later
>no reply
Do I follow up with another snap or just let it go?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17388744

It was a two hour tinder convo. Let it go.
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>>17388752
Thought as much
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>>17388752
Just to clarify
Conversation lasted 2 days, but when I sent a snap she opened it to hours later and hasn't replied since

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ok, can someone once and for all canonically define what the whole 'be confident' meme is all about? its the typical advice given to everyone regardless of their issue, the only problems are:

1. no one actually explains what this fucking means
2. no one actually explains how to achieve this, whatever it is

so please, someone enlighten us all
47 replies and 8 images submitted. Click here to view.
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seems like as expected no one actually has an answer for this
>>
the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
"we had every confidence in the staff"


synonyms: trust, belief, faith, credence, conviction
"I have little confidence in these figures"
antonyms: skepticism, distrust
•the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
"it is not possible to say with confidence how much of the increase in sea levels is due to melting glaciers"
•a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
"she's...
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>>17388716
The only way to gain confidence in a thing is to do that thing. The implication is that the first few times one does a thing must always be done without the benefit of full confidence: that comes later.

When someone is telling you to "be confident", what they really mean in the short term is to be brave: to face your fears and do the thing even though you are scared. Confidence will come later, when you have done it a few times and either succeeded or, perhaps even more importantly, failed but survived.

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GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some...
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Ok so I've been seeing a girl for more than a month now. Over the last few days we've not been speaking as much (before it was almost like one non stop conversation with no more than two hours without talking), I asked her a few days ago where I stood with her and she told me that she "loves spending time with me" so we set up another date which she has just cancelled, I believe her reasons though.

Basically I know I'm getting into my own head and want to stop being a little bitch. Any advice?
>>
Reposting:

Ladies, how does a guy respond to a girl who is the touchy-feely type in a way that you're interested in them. A co-worker of mine started talking to me a lot out of the blue after working together for about 6 to 7 months. One time we spoke for a good while and she told me how she was interested in another co-worker before I started working there. Another co-worker of ours found out about this and had sex with him. I guess this left her salty because she told me how she's not interested in going out with anyone. However, after we spoke about that,...
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Why do chicks take forever to reply, are they trying not to seem too eager?

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Where does one even get condoms?
From the gas station?
Online?
How do I know if they'll fit?
What kind brand do I get?
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Do you even leave the house?
>>
>>17388554
If I ever need to buy condoms I'll go to the local pharmacy.
>>
>>17388558
Hah, classic /adv/!

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Hey /adv/, I'm trying to help a friend. He's in a shit busser job at a restaurant where he makes around 1.8k/mo. They don't follow labor laws either so he doesn't get breaks, is forced to take lunch before he starts his shift, work him full time even though he's part time, and some other shady shit. He's 21 so to him he's taking in some sweet cash but doesn't grasp that he can't survive well on that. On top of that, he wants to go to school for animation. 2D animation, mind you. He says it's his passion but all he can draw is...
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>>17388542
>they don't follow labor laws
>they DON'T follow labor laws
>THEY DON'T FOLLOW LABOR LAWS
>THEY
>DON'T
>FOLLOW
>LABOR
>LAWS

EASY FUCKING MONEY THEN
>>
>>17389390
It would be easy money if he wasn't too much of a cuck to do anything about it. He says the money is too good.

I need to meet a guy who can coach me on being a sleazeball.

In my perspective, women and gay guys have white men punked so bad to the point that we HAVE to lie about getting laid just to be accepted into society. All this crap on the internet about couples having sex 3 times a week as the norm is crap, lies and deception. I don't know a single person that is getting laid regularly, not one. Where are all these jerk guys that use and abuse women? I've never met one and I've been searching for a long time.

I want to meet a guy that is good at macking...
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>>17388499
Man whore here.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
There's minimal intimacy in hook ups and shit gets old real fast.
You sound like a bitter virgin though, and more than likely you project that onto everyone you meet.
>>
>>17388516
You're right, I am a bitter virgin.

Yes, I hear from ppl a lot "smile more". I'm not a happy person and dun have much to smile about. Also I dun do drugs. So........

I mean, can I just attain what I want? Not just live in my own fabricated dream world.
>>
That's it huh?

Anyway I call bullshit on all of that meanwhile crap. I absolutely do not believe it can be done.

Sluts. Manwhores = sluts. Hookers = chicks that can manipulate dudes into paying them.

I dun believe it. Bullshit.

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Been studying with a girl for about two months now (in the same program of study.) She's been recently giving me all the right signs (texting "nite nite" every night, sending me pictures of herself, touching me everywhere like crazy, responding well to being touched, asking if i have a gf, asking me out to do things with her unrelated to school and coming to things i ask her to unrelated to school, etc.) So I decided to tell her that I like her as more than just a friend, and would like to know if she'd consider dating me. She seemed pretty surprised, but...
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Try to just focus on that final on Tuesday. If you keep thinking about her then your mind is gonna start playing games and making up shit that may not even exist. Do you and when Tuesday comes you'll get your answer.
>>
>>17388496
i've got so much wiggle room for the final it's not even funny, as long as i get above a 28% i'll pass, so it's kind of hard to even want to focus on it.
>>
>>17388788
i should say too, and now she wants to come over in a half hour and study, as we've been doing

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Is there a way to forget a day, specifically today thus far? It's only 3pm.

I accidentally stumbled across something that I don't think I can handle, it's definitely already in my top 5 regrets for ever knowing.

Is it possible to forget it?
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>>17388306

No.
>>
>>17388325
Are you sure? Well, fuck.
>>
>>17388334

Yes.

File: lawfag.jpg (9 KB, 150x239) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I'm a lawyer in Canada, doing mostly family law. Ask me anything. If it's a legal question, you have to tell me what country you're in; if in US what state, or in Canada what province.
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Pic unrelated. That's not me, I just think she's hot.
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>>17388247
Canada.
Can a single male have a child via surrogacy using a Canadian surrogate and if yes, can the surrogate screw me over by keeping the child and extorting child support from me?
>>
What do you think of a CS major going into law school?

What was it like for you going into law school, and being in it?

What's it like being a lawyer?

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Where is a place I can learn how to street fight to defend myself, and not martial arts. I don't know if I just had a bad experience with martial arts, but it seems more like a sport than a practical tool.
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>>17388231
There might be Webites to teach you moves idk.
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>>17388235
But looking at pictures and videos vs. actually doing and practicing something is very different
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>>17388231
check out krav maga. your martial arts experience might be bad due to the martial arts you chose. you cant teach your self to street fight, you have to train with other people.

>Break up with long distance girlfriend
>Always had a thing for goths, redheads and Asians.
>Realize goths and redheads are kinda rare. Especially natural redheads.
>Asians are pretty cool, most seem to really like me for whatever reason.
>I've been asked out by at least 6 in the past 2 years just randomly.
>Be 22, attending college after some years of working/travel.

Give...
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>>17388131
>being Da Man

You sound pretty immature to have a relationship but I'll give you 2 cents: Be yourself and don't be cheesy. That said act confident in yourself but if you're gonna refer yourself as Da Man, I think you got a bit of work to do on yourself first.
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>>17388184
That was meant to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek but I can see how the sarcasm might not come across in text. But thanks for the advice regardless!
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>>17388308
No it did, that other anon is just a stick in the mud

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What does it mean when you like a girl more than as a friend, but don't have romantic feelings for her either?

Greentext story in next post
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>>17388065
>be friends with girl for two years
>liked each other when we first met, but I had a gf at the time
>two years later, we still hang out often and still talk good morning to good night
>she confesses she's in love with me but I don't reciprocate
>can't even say I like-like her, but still lead her on by being flirty with her and still hanging out a...
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>>17388095
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>>17388065
It's called let her live her fucking life. If you're so sure that you don't like her in a romantic way, then you should cut contacts with her, otherwise she will never get out of this.
You spent years sending her mixed signals, then you got into a relationship with her, while still not really feeling that way. If you keep talking to her, she'll never lose the hope that someday you might reciprocate. She needs some time away from you, otherwise she'll be trapped in this shitty situation...
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File: 1468975889949.jpg (278 KB, 744x744) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hi /adv/. I'm having trouble dealing with something. I'll greentext as short as I can:
>meet girl in some group
>I think she's really cool but I don't get to see her often
>see her more often this year
>ask her out to some event she's interested in but she can't go (though at least acts upset about how she can't and has a legit excuse)
>still getting along pretty good with her, realize...
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>definitely lower tier than me
Incorrect.
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>>17387903
explain pls
>>
More plausible TL;DR: arrogant anon receives dose of reality.

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Hello, peeps.

I'm trying to get better at digital art and drawing as a whole, as my dream is to work in the games industry as either an artist or level designer. I've gotten better over the years I've been practising but I feel as if I'm falling short of my expectations. I'm sure there are some talented artists on this site. And I was wondering. what tips or techniques could you give me.
Thanks
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I like the youtuber Istebrak, you can give her a submission and she might go over how you can improve techniques and keep sharp on the fundamentals

But good luck, I've heard this whole digital art thing is a giant shit test, with educated professionals competing with amateurs who will take ramen for payment.
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>>17387662
Im basically in the same boat as you man, Ive been an above average drawer my whole life but rarely did I practice until recently. My advice would be too start drawing from real life (Mainly the human form and drapery) this will make the drawings that come from your imagination look more realistic. Sounds simple but it really helps. George Bridgmans and Andrew Loomis figure drawing books are a good place to start. Try taking some life painting classes on the side if you can.

Above all practice, practice,...
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browse /ic/


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