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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 78. page
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what does living your life even mean?
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All I know is that I think I exist. With every passing day I'm convinced everything is just a dream/simulation and I'm actually just talking to projections of myself as I write this

I want to die
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>>17801293
That has nothing to do with my question
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It means doing what you want to do to make yourself happy as long as it doesn't affect others happiness.

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>got a nice gf
>good sex
>still enjoy watching porn
>still fap daily

Porn ruined my life. What the fuck did I do...
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wat do
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Your sex drive is higher than your girlfriend's sex drive. This will ruin you and make you start cheating. Trust me.
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>>17801255
That kind of sounds like it's just making your life better. I mean what don't you have in this situation?

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My gf is wearing me THE FUCK DOWN.

Either she's tired, or PMS'ing, or has too many assignments to take care of, or is stressed at her family, or is down for no reason, but she's always, ALWAYS FUCKING BUMMED OUT.

I could count on my finger the number of times she's absolutely chipper in a month. But I could not count the number of times I've heard the word "tired." It's been hundreds. Nearly every day. The mere sight of this word irritates me now.

How do I deal with this?
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Sneak meth into her food
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Hmm it might have something to do with her being tired
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>>17801244
Quit being boring.

>be 19
>worried I will never have sex with a young woman in my life (18-22)
>worried that the only chances ill have are when I'm 30+ with 30+ women

are girls 18-22 so high in demand that it's impossible to sleep with one unless you're ridiculously attractive or influential?
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>>17801222
Because they are at their prime - they won't get better than they are now. You, on the other hand, will get more attractive as you age.
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>>17801232
>You, on the other hand, will get more attractive as you age.

this isn't a passive thing, you have to be somewhat successful/influential by the time you're in your late 20s otherwise you're totally fucked
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>>17801243
Not really.
Stay in shape, have your shit together, have a somewhat interesting lifestyle, be charming and you're already better than 99.9% of the 18 year olds.

>Look up articles about people having birthday parties and no one showing up
>Read this

Is this proof that women can never be forever alone?
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No.
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>>17801136
>Is this proof that women can never be forever alone?

its obviously a lot easier for women to find relationships but women have basically been programmed to believe their whole worth is determined by how they look.

i would honestly hate to be a women. most women are boring as fuck and pretty much do fuck all but care about looking good because of patriarchy. And the guy friends they have normally only really care about fucking them.

most women are also too stupid...
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>>17801136
Not necessarily OP.
If you're looking for an extremely shallow way of looking at it and that's looks a women can become forever alone. Looks fade. Why do you think women start to settle down? They have to or risk being left without attention due to not looking that appealing.

Then there's the other side of the coin. Personality. If someone has a good personality which is what most people look for in a person, they shouldn't be alone. Who wants to hang out with a 10/10 miserable bitch...
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List your top 3 most sexually appealing colognes. Which ones makes females drop their panties?

>1. CH men
>2. Dolce and Gabbana The One
>3. La Nuit de l'homme by Yves Saint Laurent
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I only use one, Joop! Go.

Get tons of compliments from women, very memorable and I get texts pretty often from friends who love it etc.
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>>17801032
gasoline
cigarettes
sweat
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>>17801032
>Polo Blue, Ralph Lauren

If you want something more rare/memorable:
>Armani Prive, Vetiver Babylone

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Help me understand depression /B/.

I have 2 or 3 friends that are "severely" depressed whether it's true or not is up to contemplation, but multiple times have I asked them what's wrong and I have been told about their problems as such, but what strikes me is that those problems they have are fixable?

Why do depressed people not actively seek to help themselves to get out of depression, is it something I just don't understand or realize? I can get that being depressed makes you miserable, but shouldn't being miserable and unaccomplished...
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Depression takes away all your hope and drive to do something. How can you try and fix things if all you feel is worthless? If you feel that even if you did do something, you could still never be happy again? Because you can't remember what happiness felt like , when you're depressed. And if you did do something, there wouldnt be a point. Because you'll die eventually anyway and you'll never be happy again in your life. You could win a million dollars and it wouldnt make you happy. So whats the point. You are a bleak hole just wanting to die to escape the...
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if you're depressed, the part of you that 'tries' is being crushed
that's why depressed people seem so lazy
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>>17801009
99% of depressed people are just sad and seeking for attention

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Hey /adv/ first time on this board but I don't know what else to do, I need a concrete answer/explanation on what to do right now. I'm sorry if this is a really long post, I just need to throw everything out there.
Lets start from the beginning, I have dated 3 girls in my lifetime as of now. 2 out of the 3 I felt nothing. I lied and told them I liked them in reality I did not, my first relationship lasted 1 1/2 years. My second lasted a month. Now the third girl, she is the only one that is special to me. I actually truly loved her and I personally think I fucked...
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...and?
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Part 2

Thats not to say she didnt have faults, everyone has faults.(These arent things that I dislike about her, I honestly dont think there was any part of her I hated) She was a hardcore SJW and we often got into arguments about some of the stupidest shit, but we always made up RIGHT AFTER and never kept grudges. She was very hyper and loud, I didnt mind that at all, but she would sometimes get ignored by her friends because of it and become self concious. She had a terrible ex-boyfriend that abused and used the fuck out of her and she had to go to court because of...
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I helped her through every little thing that I knew was hurting her. Whenever she would wake up in the middle of the night because of a existential crisis I would wake up with her, when a family member died I was there telling her it will be alright. When her friends were being shitty towards her I would brighten up her day. I did not help, in the place that mattered the most to her however.

She would want to act out plays like one called "Heathers" and I never would because I was awkward and felt like I shouldnt. She would always brag about bands and how much...
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I want to sell my used underwear, but I have no idea how to go about it. I want to remain anonymous, obviously. I'd like advice on receiving payments, best websites, pricing, shipping, etc.
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Just bc it worked well in oitnb doesn't mean it will for you. Especially if your pic is related
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>when even a grainy blurry photo can't even hide how disgusting you are
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>>17800897
you look too brown for my tastes. Sorry OP.

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>match with guy on dating app
>he msgs first
>we eventually text
>both realize we work in the same mall
>I ask why he never says hi in person
>he says cus i look busy
>I tell him to anyway
>he did like twice

Side notes: he has a fast text response, 90% of the time he initiates the next txt convo, we've been...
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>>17800888
Introversion, probably
It's a lot easier to make talk through text than irl

Maybe you should initiate the next irl convo?
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I'm pretty introverted myself though, probably why I'm also overthinking this all
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>>17800888
You know it's actually not against any laws for YOU to suggest plans, right?

>Hey, I was thinking we should go for coffee tomorrow, if you're free

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sup /adv/,

so I am in love with this girl. its not some high school bullshit, ive been through that shit, had my heart broken, dealt with it, got over it, im friends with her now and no longer have feelings for her, im attracted to her but can hang out with her with no issues. but this is different, i am so in love with her it colors every aspect of my life, ive doubted and been proved wrong at every turn, just being around her makes me feel good. and, im not some beta nerd, i am alpha as fuck, what im told you people refer to as a 'Chad', i am also very high...
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idk the point of this post really

i guess its like, if you're a girl, would you want a hot, smart, rich, woke af, crazy, sexy guy to go out with you for awhile, and then ditch you for your roommate? or would you rather him not pursue you, and just stay as friends, and eventually have to watch him hook up with your roommate anyway only now you never even got the chance to try his dick?

not that any of this matters cuz whats gonna happen will happen and im gonna do what im gonna do.
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>>17800875
You say it's not some help go school bullshit, but then go on to type out typical high school bullshit.

You're not in love with this girl, you have feelings for her, maybe infatuated, but it's not the huge thing you're making it out to be.

She's dating another guy, so move on. If that opportunity presents itself, maybe go in with an open mind, but for now that potential opportunity shouldn't weigh on any of your decisions.
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>>17800907
>help go
Don't know where that came from. *high school

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Am I a loser for not drinking alcohol from fear of becoming an alcoholic? I am easily addicted to everything and I have never drank any alcohol because I know I will not be able to control myself.

Of course I keep this a secret to everyone but one friend because everyone around me drinks heavily and goes clubbing and tailgating.

Am I a faggot for avoiding alcohol?
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>>17800788

No.
I know alot of drinkers and not one of them is a better person because of it.
Alot of people become addicted easily so you made the right choice.
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>>17800788
No, you're a faggot for caring what other people think. Alcoholism is serious and fucked up, and if you think you're avoiding that by not drinking then more power to you. You've got to do what's right by you.
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>>17800788
You're a faggot because you keep it a secret and got a stupid reason to fear it.

Nothing wrong with not drinking.

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I have no idea what to expect asking for advice here. I'll lay out my problems and see where it goes I guess.

First thing is I am 30 and don't have a girlfriend or wife. I have never had a girlfriend, not counting the (very) short relationship (if you want to call it that) in 7th grade. And I am a virgin. Both my siblings are younger. One is married and has two kids. The other is separated (sort of, it's messed up) from his girlfriend, but they have a child.

So there's that. Every time I get together with family I feel like the odd one out,...
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>>17800714
Basically, what it boils down to is: I have no idea how to gain self confidence, self discipline, and how to make friends and/or how to get a girlfriend.
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>>17800714
I've thought a lot about this kind of thing. Frankly, we think too much. Just fucking do it. Lose weight, work out, get with a speech therapist, be more social etc. You are waiting to feel confident before doing these things, but confidence cones much later. Just fucking do it. Get a gym buddy or trainer.
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Yo' man, I ain't got much time but here goes;

What most people do is wake up one day and think "Why am I such a big useless piece of shit". Effectively, you've not tended a garden for 30 years and then suddenly you're like "well, I don't have a fucking water fountain or anything, my garden is just a big fucking mess and I hate it."

Now, that's fine. But you just need to make small changes, do a little bit each day, and you'll end up with an amazing garden in no time. The only trouble with ourselves and our...
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My gf broke up with me in early October because I was smothering her and preventing her from living her life freely. We then had a fight because I tried to convince her friends to get her to talk with me. We haven't talked since.

I've been in therapy for several weeks and have started getting better. There's still a long way to go but we're making progress.

Could I/Should I try and talk with her and start another relationship? It wasn't perfect, but I loved her and I'm learning how to communicate and not be toxic.

Is there...
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>>17800702
Move on and find someone new
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>>17800715

How come?
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>>17800702
I'm sorry to say anon, but it seems like this is the type of relationship that you might just need to let go... You can try to talk to her, not now obviously but maybe like a couple months from now, which sounds like a long time, but believe me. It'll help clear both your head, and her head, and help give you time to realize what you want to do.

Listen good though. If you're going to try again with this girl you need to not be petty, stop smothering her, women (as you know) hate that with a...
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I couldn't catch a ride with the bus due to working overtime tonight, so I asked my cousin if he could give me a lift home. He said no because he needed to go to work tomorrow, so I trusted him and took an expensive cab ride home instead. Turns out he lied; the moment I walked in the door I saw my cousin there, him and his friend were laughing and he made a comment about me having 'great timing'. No apology, nothing, he just laughed at me. He's currently playing video games downstairs, doubt he'll be going to bed anytime soon.

I feel pretty hurt...
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>>17800694
dont do shit for him until he gets the message. dont ask him for shit either. dont create elaborate convo's either
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>>17800694
Cut him out of life. Don't waste time and effort on people who don't care about you
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>>17800713
>>17800708

Both of these are retarded. OP your cousin doesn't owe you anything. Like anyone you have to know who is reliable (eg parents, certain friends etc) and who will be unreliable (ie your cousin). Just keep this in mind when you ask favours from him, likewise when he asks favours from you. I have brothers at both ends of the spectrum (very reliable vs reliably unreliable) and I don't hate one over the other for it, it's just who they are.

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What do you get when you have a person with two people he absolutely hates.

And he has no choice to live with them and deal with everything they spew and do.

I call that two homicides.

>Gag reel

Btw, I have been thinking of killing my step mother a lot. Espicially when she infuriates me with her bullshit. Not to mention how detailed my murderous thoughts are while being detailed and varied. It's become catharsis to not murder her on the spot.

How do I get rid of these thoughts and emotions?

>Inb4...
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It's called fucking moving out if you don't like it. Assuming you're actually 18, your father and stepmother are under no obligation to deal with your manchild bullshit.
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>>17800577
But, how can they deal with my manchild bullshit if their dead?

Tch double standards.

Or I could commit suicide if that makes you feel any better.
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>>17800577
Ya know I never asked to be born. He could have just ejaculated into a melon so I didnt have to deal with this fuckong existence. I never asked to suffer for so long without knowledge of what I was getting into.

As soon as world war 3 comes, im going to be the first at the door to draft.

Yor whole comment is fucking useless and you should hang yourself.

Everytime I see some degenerate slut in a crop top I just want to ring jerb fucking beck and choke her to death


How do I contain my rage?
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Stop looking at Kylie Jenner's snaps and instagram?
>>
You're just mad because you know you couldn't fuck them if you tried. Go do some pushups and buy nicer clothes.

Kylie is fake af anyway. Look up her old pictures.
>>
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>>17800537
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.

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Why am I unhappy? Why am I so apathetic? Why do I have such low self-esteem? Why do I overthink all the tims? Why can't I accomplish anything?Please help
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Do you masturbate often?
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>>17800536
Your're unhappy, overthink shit and apathetic BECAUSE you have a low self-esteem.

You not accomplishing anything (and external factors like shitty parenting and surrounding) lead to it.

Basically start doing shit, you're going to fail at some, do decent at others and slowly raise your self-esteem, fixing the other problems at the same time.
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>>17800553
What should I start doing? I'm failing my first semester at uni and I have no motivation to do anything

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According to my friend, I am incredibly giving and considerate. But what she warned me was that because I'm so giving and considerate, I can easily be taken advantage of. Case in point, the last girl I dated took advantage of how giving I was.

How can I not be taken advantage of next time? All I know is how to give.
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>>17800533
Well there's an important distinction: If you "give" things/time/attention of your own free will, because you want to, that's fine. But if they start ASKING you to make real sacrifices of time, money, etc, and they're offering nothing in return, they're taking advantage. If you find that you have a "friend" whose friendship is consistently expensive, you're dealing with a whore.
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>>17800543
I should've said something more like "expecting" or demanding," rather than "asking." There's nothing wrong with asking for a favor sometimes, I just mean when it becomes a pattern, and if don't seem to be there for you when they don't get what they want
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>>17800543
>>17800549
Right. I would always give because I wanted to and I liked her a lot. But she never did anything for me in return. I wasn't expecting it... but it would have been nice to show that my actions were appreciated. I think it might have come from her upbringing and being used to getting what she wanted... She was a very upper class WASP

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I am an attractive girl (and i hate saying that) but it causes me so many problems, i either end up with insecure guys who try to leave before i hurt them or possessive abusive guys. I don't know what to do and i realize this sounds sort of dramatic but its real. Every relationship ever ends in "ur too good for me" or abuse. In my head I tell myself i will just be alone but I know thats not what I want. Any advice?
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Do what countless other women have done for centuries and make yourself less attractive so that type won't be an issue.
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>>17800486
you can't say you're attractive and not post pics. tits or gtfo.
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>>17800495
lol thank u. i really have tho....i stopped wearing make up and i mean i still dress nice because it makes me happy but like what am i supposed to do look like a wreck?

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Would like input/guidance

Not greentexting, I'm bad at it

A couple of nights ago I went out with a few buddies, we went to a bar where I got drunk and started kissing a few girls. The problem with that is I'm in a relationship with a girl that I've been with for 2 years and I've been away from her for a little under a year now so we're in a long distance relationship. This is the first time I've done something like this and for some reason It's not guilt that I feel but I suddenly feel as though we aren't meant to be. I want...
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How often do you visit her?
I've been making a LDR work for a while, but I feel it's because I make a point to see her every 3-4 weeks
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>>17800485
I can't see her often, typically every 6 months to a year. When I do see her sex is great and all, but even in person sometimes it feels like there's something missing
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>>17800505
Endbit famalam
Let her know and let her go

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I've lurked here for about 3 years or so and rarely if ever post, but I had an encounter today that made me think of /adv/ and I wanted to share it

I was at my Local grocery store and had been checking out. I noticed that my store was offering delivery for grocieries and asked the clerk about it, as I did cute grocery girl came over to our checkout lane to help bag my 3 items. She seemed very willing to engage in our coversation, even proceeded to take an info flyer for the delivery immediately after I grabbed one. She then told me about how she loved VR and was...
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I actually laughed when I read this
>why was this girl, whose job it is to be nice to people, being nice to me??
It's not her fault you live in a fantasy world.
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>>17800474
Most people are not consistent in their ideas and behavior. I am in a serious relationship, I would not ever cheat, yet I talk to all sorts of attractive women because it gives me a rush and a romantic tantalization. Even if one of these girls says she has a boyfriend, I don't stop talking to them because of it; additionally, women tend to do this because few have anything else to say. This isn't about misogyny, most women don't really have hobbies outside of ones involving social interaction of some...
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>>17800474
It's not a shitty thing to do. Be honest, do you really need a new friend right now? You had a nice interaction with a stranger, it's fine to just leave it at that. You don't have to stay in touch and form lifelong platonic connections with every nice person at the grocery store, lol. There's tons of nice people out there, but a real friendship takes real work

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You Guys gotta help me!
I've become such a fucking piece of shit since high school .. Dropped out of college three times after not even caring about courses, abusing drugs like adderall, alcohol and weed, continuously for six years out of high school , leaving some intense brain dysfunction. I was always planning of suicide if it came to this, but my poor family!

Now I'm trying to forge a path for myself that would lead to some sort of life satisfaction. I can't do drugs anymore , at least not often. Drinking has seriously fucked up my kidneys and I...
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>>17800459
Also a chronic masturbator, who is constantly just screwing himself over. I have no pride, and I really should die.
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>>17800459
I meant to say acute kidney failure. Does this make me look stupid
>>
I know drugs seem counter intuitive, but magic mushrooms has gotten me out of a few downward spirals.

If you're strong enough to do it without the drugs, start controlling your impulses. Meditate on what you need to do and do it.

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Gf is telling me to be 100% open with emotions but everytime a girl has let me do this I've become an emotional baby and they lose interest in me. What do
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Don't do it, it's a shit test.

It will only hurt you in the long run. Be honest and communicate with her, but do not say things that would be better left unsaid.
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>>17800455
Yeah, don't be open emotionally. You can be open with your experiences and concerns and desires, that build intimacy. But don't look weak.
>>
Find better people.

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#long

Chapter1

When I was 14 I made a friend at school. He was of that closed silent type of people. I was continiously asking him things about our mutual interests like music and programming, though it was like one-sided relation, with him at the role of "sensei". Few years later, he entered the university and we just became acquaintances or smth.

At 17 I was at summer camp in August in another country and met a girl there. From our first conversation I learned that she is the girlfriend of my old school pal. Allright, no probs.

After two...
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Chapter 2

Oh, I started to visit her too, and that little "support" transformed to something hard to confess from today's perspective. We started kissing and stuff, but it was a shame for both of us to treat it as it is, so we stated that have invented the brand new "uberfriend" form of human relationships. Sure.

In October that guy sent me an invitation to have a snack with him. I got frightened but accepted. Having a snack was more like Q&A because he just asked me questions like 'How many times did you see her in September?'...
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Chapter 3

God damn, by January she got her anorexia. My mind just exploded. I asked some serious series of questions connected to appearance, beauty and self-respect - and just got shocked: "every day I wake up thinking I've become a little bit closer to perfection" - you got the idea.

Note: I don't give a shit about apearance at all, honestly. But I can imagine how important it is to respect your body - it is not that difficult: you just don't hate it.

But after I learned more about anorexia and stuff I got that such person just...
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Chapter 4

Note: she became treat me like god-like person. It is difficult to explain. She started to say things like "I'll do anything you ask me to do" or "My desires and dreams are just dirt comparing to your wishes". That made me nervous, I tried to fix that - but unsuccesfully.

We were going to pass exams to enter university at the country we met. So I was casually studying, while she got mad at that point. During Feb and Mar she was just sitting at home and trying to study -> got exhausted -> slept for two hours -> repeat....
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So I have this issue--girls just seem to have absolutely no interest in me whatsoever. Now that might not seem unsual, but I have good hair, normal featurea, been told I'm good looking on many occasions and have been with and in relationships with like 8s and stuff in the past. Plus, I have an adult job, a nice car, and my own place. I'm far from a beta and have a good, chill personality, and laugh at "nice guys". Also, I'm 6'4 and have an athletic build.

I don't say these bragadociously, but just to convey that I'm not an anime...
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>list only good things
>somehow expect us to know what's wrong with you
Well, if I had to guess, I'd say it's probably the fact that you're fucking retarded.
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If girls don't like you, how did you get into a relationship before?
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>be me
>summer break
>haven't done shit
>friend says he has some bomb ass weed
>I go to his house to get lit
>houstonwehaveaproblem.jpg
>nothing to smoke out of
>sees empty mcdonalds cup
>decide to make it into a bong
>get random pieces of metal and melt them...
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File: OH_sheeeit.png (1 MB, 819x577) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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I personally would prefer to date a woman who is a minority. However, my personality just never seems to match up with a woman who also happens to be a minority. I am not like unstable or anything but the issues I bump into are weird extreme things.

For example, I am incredibly apathetic when it comes to politics and voting. Most minority females would be disgusted by this. I just don't really give a fuck. I got bigger fish to fry besides voting for a giant douche or a turd sandwich.

That statement would drive some minority women crazy but a white woman probably would not give a shit.

I also find that minority women tend to want SUPER masculine dudes. Like look at most hispanic women. They want macho dudes caring for them. I am not a macho dude. I have not been in one fist fight ever.

So what am I to do if I want to date minority women but I just don't have what they are looking for. Most are also weirdly liberal. I am a moderate as in, I think liberals and conservatives can be pretty retarded.
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As a minority woman, I think you're absolutely retarded for a) stereotyping us and b) thinking somehow the fact that we're a minority means we're nothing like white women.
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>>17800410

well for the most part, minority women TEND TO HAVE a couple differences. Especially when it comes to dating and family involvement and shit.

Also, I am not stereotyping a whole race and gender. I said some, not all. I know their outliers. I am a outlier myself.
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You should meet some more 'minority' people in general because it sounds like you have some misguided perceptions about what 'minorities' are like. You'll be surprised to find that these 'minority' women aren't as different as you think they are.

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When I spin out of control, I have an urge to fuck up everything. I want to fuck up my friendships and make everyone realize how bad of a person I actually am. I have an urge to fuck the wrong people even though I don't have a real shot at it.

My girlfriend broke up with me abruptly last week and all I can think about is how angry I am and how much I just want to push people away.
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Forgot my question.

How do I stop spinning out of control? All I do is dwell on whatever made me angry.
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>>17800381
>>17800450
>Punch your pillow punching my pillow fixes everything
>>
Well, it is November. Listen to some Black Metal. Face the darkness and strengthen your soul to face the coming Winter.

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I can't relax when I'm having sex with a guy

Should I smoke a fuckload of weed before I turn up to their house? That's a bit expensive desu, are there less expensive ways?
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Why are you having sex in the first place if you're nervous about it? I'd recommend you figure out why you get nervous about it in the first place before relying on drugs.
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>>17800378
If I'm feeling good, weed helps me relax even more. If I'm in a situation that makes me anxious, weed heightens that anxiety and makes me painfully awkward. I'd just have a drink or two. Or maybe, you know, have sex with people you actually like, and trust, and feel safe with
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>>17800399
I'm nervous because of a past history of being told I was repulsive by boys, now I can never really believe that a boy actually wants to touch me

I'm used to masturbating by myself.

>>17800408

>have sex with people you actually like, and trust, and feel safe with

That's a luxury

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Trying to get my girl into bondage. She is an absolute keeper until I pull out the kinky stuff.. I've tied her up hundreds of times but she still keeps going back to that vanilla sex. How can I get her to enjoy it as much as I do?
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>>17800347
You don't. To me, bondage is as boring as cosplay. Yeah I like spanking and hairpulling, but I've never understood the point of costumes or bondage.

I just enjoy vanilla sex.
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>>17800347
Dude, if she's willing to play along and indulge your fetish sometimes, you should do exactly the same for her sometimes. It sounds like her fetish is plain old vanilla sex. Don't judge or try to make her change. A good relationship is give and take, not two identical people enjoying identical interests. When it's her night, get in character and do it the way she likes it
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>>17800347
She's willing to give your fucked-up kink a spin in terms of trying it out, but it sounds like she's not into it.

What if she was into you wearing a butt plug. "I rubbed your asshole a little bit, why wont you let me jam this peg in your ass?"

She dipped her feet, sounds like she's not into it.

Maybe you should sit down and talk to her about it. But seeing as how you referred to her as "my girl" you're either a teenager or she's just some skank you...
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