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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 80. page
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My boyfriend has no affection for his mother and father.
She died years ago, but he hasn't talked with his father in almost two years.

Is this a redflag? He explained to me he pretty much grew up with his uncle and aunt, and his parents where a very disfunctional family,
I can understand that, but to the point of having no affection whatsoever towards them?
27 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
Hey its not his fault kids need to form a psychological bond with their parents, if they werent in his life he had no choice but not to care
>>
> to the point of having no affection whatsoever towards them?

But what's the point of caring in his case? He grew with other people, basically they raised him instead of his parents, and the sole fact that that woman gave birth to him does not oblige him to care in any way.
>>
>>17799555
Does he care about his aunt and uncle, at least? Look, if his parents were neglectful and unaffectionate, how is he supposed to feel affection for them? It'd be a red flag if he HATED them, but if he's just indifferent I totally get it

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Whenever I talk to my gf there are a lot of awkward silences because I don't know what to talk about. It's always "How is your day?" or "What did you eat today?"

How can I get good in knowing what to talk about?
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>>17799533
Do you have this problem with most people, or just your girlfriend?
>>
>>17799535
>>17799535
most people
>>
Holy shit, you described the thing that happens to me with most people, after some days i got not a single thing to say, i forget most things that happened in my life holy crap

I came in my girlfriend while having sex. It was our first time without a condom, and it was just very sudden for me. Shes on birth control. The pharmacist that gave her the pills told her to wait a month to have sex, but everywhere we looked online, it said if you wait 7 days aftet starting the pill, you are protected.

Are we safe?
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well how long has she actually been on it?
>>
>>17799431
12 days
>>
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>>17799966

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Ironically enough I'm actually pretty anti consumerism and live a sustainable lifestyle but sometimes I can't help feeling a deep urge to buy things, specifically PC/electronics oriented items. When it comes to other stuff I tend to keep them until they break, I buy sustainable products built to last and I never buy unnecessary trinkets or gadgets but I often go window shopping for electronics and once I upgrade something I almost immediately start thinking about or planning my next upgrade.

How do you handle these feelings? Do you even have them? In a lot of...
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These urges are p common I think OP. Our generation was kind of conditioned to always be lusting over the next new shiny toy.

For me I just try to consider what else I could or SHOULD be spending the money on instead. If you have the money and new tech makes you happy, don't be guilty about it. I guarantee you most people are like this to more unreasonable extents, always having to buy new clothes every couple months and what not.
>>
I try to keep things in perspective. If i'm going to use it everyday for work or top priority passion project then I will upgrade. but if it's a tablet or tv, something that doesn't need to be upgraded for a few years, then i'll deal with the slower hardware because all you need to remember is the dial-up days and imagining your current phone blowing your 13 year old self's mind.
>>
>>17799343
I still feel guilty for spending so much on tech that I'll probably replace within a few years anyway. On the other hand I never treat myself to anything else so I might as well spend my money on tech stuff. I'm rather young and have a son so of course there are better things to spend money on but still, it feels nice to be able to treat yourself to something you really want once in a while.
The problem is how often you treat yourself and/or get the urge to do so...
>>17799371
I'm...
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>old thread
>>17796704

The Learner’s Guild stands behind collective self-improvement and camaraderie; to strive to hold each other accountable in our endeavors, and make a few friends along the way!

Our goal is simple. Pick a goal, and update us on it. Do you want to learn a new language, get in shape, improve your relationships, but are afraid you won't commit? One of the best ways to combat this is to have a friend hold you accountable. This is our goal: be an accountability-buddy for everyone and let everyone be your accountability-buddy.

We don’t need another chat for feels and self-deprecation. There’s the /adv/ chat, or any other board on 4chan. Because of this, we have some guidelines, which lack of adherence to will result in being banned.

>Discord

https://discord.gg/nBahGZW


RULES AND GUIDELINES

=======================================

1. No slander, hate speech, or otherwise non-constructive criticism.
2. No shitposting.
3. No self-pity. This is a group for self-improvement. If you come with feels, you better also have ideas for acting upon them.
4. You must have at least one goal/discipline of your choice to improve on, and must update on the group your progress once a week every week from the day you join.

So if you are a new member, tell us a little bit about yourself and tell us what your goals are!
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Bump for prosperity
>>
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gay

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What would your life be like if you had no sexual attraction to anyone? You can still be attracted to people nonsexually, and you can have children if you really want to.
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>>17798923
I think a lot of what drives us would disappear. We're indirectly motivated to do a lot of the things we do because of our hormones. Take that away and we lose the drive to even want children, let alone any other sort of lasting legacy.
>>
>>17798923
It would be exactly the same shit except I'm not masturbating everyday.
>>
>>17798923
I'd be with someone for solely their personality?
Isn't that like the only answer to this?

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>been fucking this girl for 4 months
>we started officially dating last month
>I'm 24
>she's 20
>big tits/ass
>makes me cum bucket
>we are talking on facebook
>She is telling me problems with her friends
>she's getting slowly rejected from group
>I'm...
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Don't jump to break ups immediately. Try to work out the problem.

Women usually don't like to hear logic or harsh truths. Just tell her that you'll still be there by her side or she deserves better. Or try to get her mind off it.
>>
I'm in the exact same scenario, only difference is that she's 19.

She's young man. She overreacted. Talk to her and explain that saying stupid shit when you're having a conversation is rude and should be avoided. Hopefully you can teach her a thing or two about communication.
>>
Sometimes people don't want to hear the harshness of the world and you gotta choose what matters to you more, having them around or the truth.

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22/male

Kinda gone in a self destructive path as of late, just kind of wrestling with myself trying to accept being gay. Kinda accepting it, just leading me to hate myself even more.
Actually fucked around a few times, which felt good at first, but then it just left me broken for the week afterward each time.
Just feel increasingly more stressed, especially when I get asked if I'm seeing anyone seriously yet by my parents when I visit.

How messed up in the head am i?
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>>17797163
It's an influence.

There's not some magical gay gene or mental damage behind it. It is purely societal influence. I'm guessing you watch tv, listen to music, and generally indulge in pop media. Even if you don't, your friends do. And the homosexual influence is real. People like you pick it up without realizing the when where why of it and feel like something is wrong with them.
It is your environment and your habits within. Opinions atop opinions atop opinions atop opinions, mostly...
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>>17797163
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OGd4gplxQM
>>
>>17797180

99% sure i wasnt influenced by anything.

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Femanon willing to give advice in vocaroo format. Text takes too long and is impersonal.
Nothing I can't help with!
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>>17792316
i was so certain that this girl at my uni was totally as into me as i was into her. I really never felt this connected so someone since my ex whom I dated for 3 years. we talked alot and had dinner together, then when i told her how i felt she was nice about it but said she had a bf (idk if hes here or back in her country).

my problem isnt that she did or didnt, my problem is why im do i get so attached to people i want to date even when i tell myself i shouldnt get so invested in the prospect. why do i expect...
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>>17792328
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1nY5dKzM1H6
>>
I'm super outgoing and have lots of friends offline but every time I try to Skype or talk to someone from 4chan they don't even reply.

what do

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Welcome to the NEET/shut-in improvement thread!

>old thread
>>17776751

>Discord
https://discord.gg/AAhJ6eR

Join us for help on improving your life and becoming more social or just helping people with these things! All are welcome, as long as you follow the rules.

>What do I do in the threads?
Ask people for advice on your NEET-related/social problems, or join our discord group to do the same.

>I...
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My life is a waste, I'll probably kill myself sooner or later. Probably within the next few years.

Ive been an NEET autist virgin handholdless contactless semi mute depressed apathetic shutin guy that's almost about to hit 30. My survival is due to autismbux, but for a long while kinda seems like a waste. Im not doing anything worthwhile and I don't have any thing to look forward to.
>>
>>17787072
It gets better guys. Challenge yourselves to see what's really going on. Push yourselves, even if it hurts. It hurts now, so that it won't have to so much in the future.

5 years on and off as a NEET, never off my parents dime. The whole thing was living a total lie, sweeping shame under a rug. Pretending not to exist around their friends, around our family. Acting like I didn't know how much I'd made my mother cry by being such a failure.

I only got out of it by forcing myself to...
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>>17788101
We've got someone in the group who's 39, and another who's 28. Most of the rest of the group is in their mid/early 20s. There's a lot of people in similar situations to you all finding their own way through life. You're not alone, Anon. And if you like, we have a lot of really good resources in the Pastebin devoted to dealing with anxiety and depression.

The biggest thing to remember though, and it sounds silly to say but a lot of people forget it. Change only happens if you're...
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>tfw university is now doing diversity assessments (took them long enough)
>tfw finally putting more effort into recruiting volunteers, employees, and students from all backgrounds
>tfw white and worked my ass off for nine years here
>tfw might lose some of my opportunities because of these programs
>tfw fear it might already have spread to other jobs

The thing is I didn't even vote Trump. And I'm actually...
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>>17799983
Diversity for its own sake is stupid. The best person for the job should always get the position without any regard to race. To hell with quotas.
>>
>>17800006
>The best person for the job should always get the position without any regard to race.
Unfortunately in a free market society, if one race starts to have the better positions (earned or not), others will start to prefer them or view others of the same race as better for the job than others (like India to tech support), which screws over others trying to apply.
>>
What part of the university are you working?

Hard sciences, engineering, computers? Don't worry too much.

Also out in the real working world, the diversity thing isn't a real concern.

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Hey /adv. So for a few years now I've been wanting to cut all my hair off into a pixie cut, kinda like the one shown in the picture. I just think it would look really cute, and it will be a lot easier to take care of. I've always had long hair my entire life, so I feel like I need to change it. And of course if I don't like like it I could always grow it back. But the only thing that's really stopping me is my mother. Let's just say she grew up in the hippie times and by old-fashioned standards, all women must have long hair and all men must have short...
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Why do you care about your mom so much?
>>
>>17799970

Not sure if troll thread.
>>
>>17799978
99% of adv is bait

How do I find traps irl? Is there a site that I can use to find them? Like a dating site or something? Someone please help me out on this.
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17799767

Which area are you from c: ?
>>
>>17799770
I'm from Massachusetts.
>>
>>17799773

So am I (; I'm a trap c:

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A friend's birthday is coming up and I wanted to send some small random and funny things trough the mail but I really have no idea of what. Can anyone help me out pls?
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>>17799693
toenails are small and funny
>>
>>17799693
...do you wanna tell us something about your friend, or are we just supposed to guess what they're into? Gifts are supposed to be personal and you've given 0 information
>>
>>17799703
I know, anon but in this case I don't want anything personal really. Just some random funny things as I said, something silly to put a smile on the other person's face.

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I'm 31, haven't worked in about 10 years.
I'm married, father of three.
Wife has worked most of our relationship but she's on maternity for our new child and money is getting tight.
I've stopped being a fat piece of shit in the last year, dieted and working out, joined clubs and generally in a good place.
But I've recently got the feeling that i should get a job. I'm just kind of scared.
I used to fit kitchens and general carpentry. I was an apprentice, but flunked out before getting properly qualified, I do have the skills though, just no paper.
I know i should be looking for any type of job just to get some money but i have this anxiety of family or people i know judging me for working in a shop or waiting on tables ect..

I just really need some advice on what to do or how to get over this fear. 10 years on job seekers is a long time i know.
. In Ireland by the way
7 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Why the fuck you would have 3 children with 10 years of not having a job in the first place??? You're disgusting
>>
>>17799597

I know the feeling, can be pretty terrifying having to face someone and let them be aware of your relative failure.

Just look for work as a labourer, attempt to finish your trade.
>>
WTF are you me?

I've been back at work for a few weeks now - it's a shit show and I've spilled a lot of spaghetti but

my advice is to not give a fuck and just do it. No one is the wiser. For all they know you were in prison or CIA, protect your neck and never let em see you sweat.

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When your texting them on facebook or through your phone or whatever? Sometimes they will blend that stuff in with their texts

Does it mean they are into you?
29 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17799580
lol im a guy & do this constantly,, stop being such an insecure secure little bitch fuck lmao
>>
Many girls are awkward people and poor communicators
>>
Mostly they are just afraid of coming off as irritated or angry.
It's basically the text version of a polite smile.

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I've posted about her 4-5 times or so. Anyway, it's my manager (she's 26, I'm 23)

So yesterday I was at work and she said something to me, but I didn't really hear her and was in an off mood so just ignored her and went about my business (also I had to poo really bad and was in the middle of walking to the bathroom) , and for the rest of the day she wouldn't say a word to me and just glared at me. She was being friendly to everyone else, though.

Skip to today and when she got to work she glared at me when she saw me, so I said "Hey,...
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>>17799538

Who cares, she's your boss. Not your girlfriend, just pull your weight and mind your business.
>>
It is you again? Man, I told you like 20 times, you should've asker her out, it appears she is fed up with hitting on you and getting nothing on return.
I think your chance has passed, maybe she will be fine tomorrow, who knows, I would act cautious with her from now on if I were you.

If things normalise you should just ask her out for a drink already.
>>
>>17799559
technically she's just a supervisor since there's either the GM or one of the two assistant managers there each shift. idk.

>>17799576
She probably is, but it's like a switch flipped out of nowhere and she was pissed off.

I'll see about tomorrow, but idk. I'm gonna tread lightly, that's for sure. I mean, why would she be pissed in the first place? If she was being 100% obvious about any signs of liking me, I wouldn't...
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Has anyone ever gone through opiate withdrawal here? Trying to wean myself down, I've got an excellent support system -- but a big part of me just wants to find a quiet room and sink into oblivion. My significant other has said she would leave me on several occasions but even with that looming over me it's not enough.
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>>
Not with opiates, but I have a serious alcohol problem I've actively been trying to kick out of my life this past year.

I can't say I can relate because my issue is very different from your issue, but just keep in mind that the end result will be worth it. You'll have a better outlook on life and won't have that addiction nag prodding at you all day every day.

The best motivation I've found in my situation is not to do it for others, but to do it for myself and my own self-improvement and a better, longer life.

Do your best, Anon....
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>>17799537
Thank you for the pep talk, I realize it'll be worth it in the end but it's easy to lose sight of your end goal when your brain isn't working like it's supposed to.
>>
>>17799521
Dunno about the physical withdrawal, but as general "recovering from addiction" advice - It's not enough to just stop taking the substance. You have to replace it with something meaningful, you'll need something new to occupy all this free time. Start figuring out goals and plans for your drug-free life, or it will eventually become impossible to shake off that "nothing to do, might as well get high" feeling. You'll need to keep yourself busy and occupied.

One thing I personally...
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Ok so i lost my chance with this girl wich I really really liked and fucked it up. Is there ANY way to get this back and if so is it worth it? Should I stop thinking about it? Yeah I already know I'm a cuck I just want some advices. Also if you want more details just ask.
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Well...how did you fuck it up?
>>
>>17799525
I was paranoid and a beta cuck so she lost interess. Also I got her mad and she got her "little revenge" by kissing another guy when we were out with some friends. After the kiss she gave me that look like "yeah I did it cunt" and I got so fucking mad that I haven't talk to her in like a month. God dammit what a cuck I was.
>>
>>17799536
Also I was paranoid and I thought that she was just being friendly and shit. I got to call our dates just some "friendly meetings" and never made that step to kiss her or some other shit. Basically I was a cuck.

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>be me

>be 19

>living in moms basement

>have a job at local grocery store so not a complete low life

>life is good

>today i have an idea for a new "business"

>basically i find pedos online via fake facebook accounts and chat rooms

>get info of the pedos such as IP isp and emails


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>>17799377
been done before, it's illegal.
>>
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>>17799384
i don't really care about getting v& myself

and exploiting pedos is better then being one
>>
p03 witnessed
(we would be doing it via bitcoin and hiding behind proxies so we don't get v&)

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What do
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backstory? i don't know if you guys are dating or if she is zoning you
>>
>>17799375
We're dating, and it's very passionate. We are (were?) utterly in love with eachother and so cutesy all the time. Then today she tells me she's getting bored and it's just something that happens, but she still loves me and wants to continue dating me.
>>
>>17799387
That just means the butterflies and "magic" are gone. Just continue on dating her and do something romantic every now and then. How old are you?

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Im 22 years old and have huge dark circles around my eyes. I'm currently unemployed but i doubt anyone would want to hire me since i look like a junkie. I drink allot of water every day and get at least 8 hours of sleep most nights and it NEVER gets better. God forbid I actually get a bad sleep and i look disgusting. I think about it everyday, making me depressed and sad and sometimes questioning my existence. It seems silly to be so upset about a physical thing but i honestly feel like an outcast in society, ive never seen another person with them as bad as mine(even most...
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I mentioned my circles while at the doctor's office once. They said something about poor blood circulation. so sometimes I give them a little massage.
>>
They come if you don't exercise, are stressed, don't get enough or have too much sleep, or have an imbalanced diet. Find out what you're doing wrong and rectify it.
>>
>>17799346
Can they get better or has the damage been done?

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Okay, so I have a shitty poo brain and it keeps me from being able to work typical jobs without freaking out and/or wanting to kill myself.

Anyone know ways to earn extra money from home? Hopefully something that can get me a few hundred each month...
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>>
same here, i almost killed myself and they gave me neetbux, had them for 3 years now
>>
>>17799311
I applied for Social Security Disability benefits, but I was denied for not having worked for long enough. Getting some neetbux would be a lifesaver...
>>
>>17799377

try what this anons doing

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So I'm a 23 year old man and a 16 year old girl wants to go out with me. I think she's attractive. 16 is also the age of consent here.

I honestly have so much trouble with women these days and haven't had sex since the age of 18. I kind of just want to have fun. I don't know what her intentions are but she says that she won't tell anybody but then again.. She's 16. I'm afraid that she'll start telling her friends about how she's going out with this older dude.

I want to go out with her and I can deal with it personally...
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Chance of a lifetime, my man. I'd take it without a blink.
>>
Dated a 23 year old for a few years at the age of 16. It worked out alright. It's not reputation suicide if you get her a fake like my ex did and she plays along. Anyway, best relationship I'll ever have in my memory most likely.

He told a couple of his friends and it was funny because we saw Scott Pilgrim with him. (Features that exact age gap.)
>>
do iitt

Have girlfriend for about a year
>she never initiates sex
>she expects me to become aroused
>stay aroused
>and finish the job
>while she just lays there flat on her face or back
expects me to magically get a boner from seeing her lay there. expects me to be able to just stick my penis in without getting her aroused first. wont let me touch her in certain ways. im constantly thinking about if shes gonna get upset...
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>>
Communicate with her, not us.
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>>17799259
She just tells me im weird, and denies that she doesnt any of it.
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>>17799256

It's weird that she won't let you go down on her and foreplay is practically nonexistent, but the last part of this is telling... You want to sniff her armpit or stick your face in her ass? I can get how a girl wouldn't be interested in that or find it sexual at all. You're basically saying she smells bad and you get off on her smelling bad.

I personally hate the "face smothering" with boobs kind of thing but to each their own.

Sounds like you need to have a talk with...
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Why shouldn't my friend and I join the US Army?
19 replies and 6 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17799248
it is going to be the best decision you will ever make. go for it and give it 200% never give up my friend. im headed to the airforce in january.
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>>17799255
Ask someone who is currently not enlisted, not some newfriend who just got told by the recruiter women like a man in uniform
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>>17799248
Its fucking difficult, and you might want to do something else with those years of your life.
I dunno why your asking this on an image board do your own proper research on such a significant decision

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How should the awful behavior of women be corrected and what should be done about the betas who enable their behavior?
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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It's a problem that will sort itself out.
There are only so many woman willing to mate with a beta. Even less of quality breeding stock.
Thank god genetic death is a thing

And if you feel threatened by thins. Well I have some bad news for you
>>
You just let people be and live your own life and find people you like, because the world is big and you can't change everyone to be the way you want them to be.
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>>17799153
this

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6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Read a lot. Find high-quality literature and try to replicate it.
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>>17799105
Write more
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>>17799105

Write more. Skill is earned by hours and hours of beating on your craft.

File: 1358693994212.jpg (26 KB, 510x340) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Does anyone even get anywhere with tinder?

One of my mates at work is uglier than me, chubbier than me and shorter than me. He also earns a lot less than me. Yet he is going out with an absolute stunner and every time he swipes right on tinder he gets a match, even when the girl is absolutely beautiful. He showed us his profile and it's totally ordinary.

What the fuck causes this shit?!
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>>17799098
the girls are look for a dick, nothing more, so stop overthinking this shit and get out there, the numbers are with you. Girls on tinder don't match and stay with the guy, they are right back up again looking for the next dick and the next one and the next one. Hell there was a femanon on adv a few weeks ago had fucked 10 guys in the last couple months. Run that out among thousands of girls over a year and they need new dick options.
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>>17799138
I'm better looking than this guy. Why the fuck does he get stunning blondes sending him pick up lines and I get absolutely nothing?
>>
they did the numbers on tinder, its some like 90% of all women get at least one match but 20% of all guys get at least one match. what does that mean? a handful of guys get all the women. if youre not one of those guys, dont bother cos youre just wasting your time

File: IMG_7118.jpg (53 KB, 540x441) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Can someone give me some advice real quick on whether or not I should get the hell away from my boyfriend?

We have this recurring argument every other day about how loud the water from the shower is when it drains outside. I get up at 4 for work and obviously shower and apparently it's really loud and my boyfriend can hear it from our bedroom and he's afraid that the neighbors will complain or something.

I'm like, I can't really do much more to make it quieter dude. And he seemed to think I wasn't taking this seriously enough so he legitimately...
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Your BF sounds like a giant pussy.

What exactly are you supposed to do? Not shower?
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What reunion cl? So he damaged property(the whole bell thing), and can't think of a more productive way to end the argument besides extending it? He deliberately tried to piss you off. That's not what a loving bf does.
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>>17799065
Autocorrect, what the fuck not 'what reunion cl'


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