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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 85. page
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You know how people are always striving to become the best version of themselves? I'm not being a narcissist when I say I think I already am.. What do I do now? Do I find a vice to become? What do you do when you've reached your final form?
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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**Not troll post
Seriously though, I can't even find a link in Google that says "what do I do when I'm already the best version of myself"
Someone pls help
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your vice is this site
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>>17795780

accept that you literally can't be, and find something to improve upon.

or, take one of those things you're already 'the best' at and just validate your existence through that until it no longer fulfills you.

chances are you will still find yourself learning more and more about it and yourself along the way.

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I asked out a girl that I really like this morning and it turns out she's gay. How to cope with this shitty numb feeling?

I know the answer is probably to move on, "there's nothing you can do," etc. but it would be nice to hear some experiences from other people so I don't feel as bad

Thanks
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That's exactly what you have to do though, you can't magic people hetero with your dick.
Conversely she's probably crushed on a lot of straight girls. Can't always get what you want.
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Well think of it this way, you may have not gotten it in but no other guy will ever get it in either
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>>17795769
She probably just didn't like you so she told you that

Ask an emergency department doctor anything
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do u play cod
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>>17795741
Nah used to play CS 1.6 back in the day. Now from what I can tell it's all about buying decorations for your guns or some shit.
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Any 'remote control up the rectum' stories?

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Girlfriend forgot her birth control tonight, had sex, creamed in her pie.

Morning after pill required? or continue regiment as usual?
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>>17795719
That depends
Are you a gambling man?


I have cum in at least a dozen different women more then once without BC or a condom and never got anyone pregnant.


I am a little more responsible nowadays. But it's not as easy to get a woman pregnant as you think...Chances are she wasn't ovulating


But to play it extra safe go get plan b, before the 24 hours are up and it won't matter

make sure she doesn't take the pill AND plan b, Give it a few days off BC after...
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>>17795719
That was how I almost became dad.
>>
If the pill isn't taken one day it's ineffective for 7 days after. It's up to you if you like to gamble (and possibly pay a larger sum for an actual abortion/kid).

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>Met the most cute, pretty and cool girl in a long time on tinder of all places
>Had a fun date, she came over to my place, we cuddled, kissed, it was pretty coo' because I never thought I get a girl like her
>She's pretty shy so no sexings

>Second date, another nice fun evening, more kissing, she seems really into it, we actually have sex, all is fine

The thing I need advice on now is how the fuck do I read this girl? Like I said,...
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9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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When she sees you in person her emotions play big part, when you message her she is in completly dofferent state of mind
Minimize texting as much as you can
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>>17795677
Post the picture you use for your Tinder. I've never gotten a match there and I want to know what works.

Also, how tall are you?
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>>17795731
when will they learn?

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How do I keep from being tired all the time?

I sleep at least 8 hours every night, but I always have bags under my eyes and sometimes can barely stay awake when it gets to about 18:00.

Anything I can do to stop this?
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Check testesteron
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>>17795680
Is this just a blood test at the Doctor's then?
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>>17795673

How's your diet, health & physical shape in general? Healthy habits increase the energy levels. Also, is it winter and darker where you're at? Seasons can affect your mood, which in turn makes you feel more tired. Or maybe 8h just isn't enough sleep for you, some people need more.

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>I've had sex with two different women
>Didn't feel a damn thing with either of them.

whats wrong /adv/?
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>>17795668

Was there any physical/emotional attraction? Sex is generally better with people you're actually into/in a significant relationship with. Or maybe you/the women you slept with were just awful in bed. Or maybe you're gay. Or you're just not that into sex at all. There are plenty of possibilities, pick one that suits you best.
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>>17795668

are you me?

I've only ever had sex 2 times. Both times with a different girl. Both were bad experiences. It was awkward and uncomfortable. I didn't enjoy it.

That happened when I was 20, I'm 26 now and haven't touched a girl since.
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>>17795668
nothing is wrong with you and you are fortunate you know fucking someone doesn't mean you love them or they love you. you see all the fool boys on here that fuck a girl and they fall in love and believe the girl loves them and are miserable since she girl doesn't love them and fuck other men

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i've recently noticed that just before i'm about to go to sleep i'll often hear sounds coming from inside my head that sound realistic
sometimes it would be a short snippet of unfamiliar music/sound effect other times it would be a word or a sentence
yesterday for instance, i heard this loud THANK YOU in a weird accent and it shook me up

what's going on?
do i need to worry?
11 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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This sounds a lot like sleep paralys or at least the basis of it. And like you said, occurs mostly just before you fall asleep. Otherwise loud noises before you fall asleep are common and no reason for worry. And as far as I’m aware its similar to the feeling of falling when you fall asleep, science doesn’t really know what causes it.
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>>17795627

My sister who has severe insomnia has similar symptoms when she does finally fall a sleep. As other anon said, it's probably sleep paralysis related, though visual hallucinations are more common with those. Do you have other issues with sleeping in general?
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>>17795627
I have the same issue. I just try to ignore them and go to sleep.

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I'll break it down quickly but I need help

>have a brother
>he's engaged with a girl
>they have two kids (both are genetically theirs)
>Brother is in the army
>this girl he is with isn't exactly top notch, but she's alright
And finally
>It was yesterday and I was drunk and on /gif/
>You can see where this is fucking going

Here's...
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9 replies and 3 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Why don't you post the webm and some of her pics, so we can all... judge
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>>17795622
You can't say anything now. The girl in the video may not even be her. But if she is, you would basically destroy their family by revealing the video.

I think you should forget about this for now, but save the video. You need more proof.
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>>17795643
That's the fucked part, but I need to know what to do in the event of everyone finding out. She look too god damn similar.

It's literally a 1/1,000,000,000 chance of me finding this shit. What the fuck do I do?

Should I tell me brother and possibly fuck up these kid's lives? They were born OUT OF WEDLOCK So he's fucked!.

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Anyone above 30 or so that can offer some general advice of life?
What are some lessons you've learned, some mistakes you made, etc.?
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Fuck bitches get money.
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>>17795650
but thats what everyone does
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>>17796368

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She had a stroke and hasn't got long to live. I already went around and told her "goodbye". Should I go back and see her suffer those last moments?
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First of all, my condolences, even if she hasn't died just yet. If you know that it will be hard on you to see that, then you should stay away. Remember her as you knew her before the stroke.
>>
As a caretaker, PLEASE don't let her die alone. Time passes slower when you're alone. Stay at her side, remember that it's for her. Not for you.
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>>17795605
If you were close, then I'd suggest giving it a second thought, because once shes gone you can't bring her back to apologize.
If there has been a fair bit of distance, then you can step back a bit and breathe.

In either case, if you really don't think you have the emotional strength to handle it, then accept that you did say goodbye and she knows you love her.

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how the fuck do I break up with someone If I live with him

I know noone else in this town but I have a job here, finding a flat is a long process
I can't wait any longer

whatthefuck do I do
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>>17795590
Are you on the lease? If so no worries, break up and move out when lease is up.

Start looking for a room now on craigslist/trulia etc.
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>>17795600
and just live side to side in the same apartment until I have something? I feel like a total asshole already Idk if I can do this.

But I guess there's not much options

Fucking shit and all this right before christmas. At least its a "soft breakup", that means we already knew it was coming sooner or later and we talked alot.
Still
This sucks so much
how do you do it
My heart will literally break but there's just no love left in me and I'm sick fo pretending
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>>17795590
maybe give an acquaintance a call. maybe someone you hooked up with before living with a asshat

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Found a post on craigslist for a couple seeking a virgin/inexperienced male, that being me.

Im a khv, and I can't get a gf so im seriously considering this.

Is it bad news bears familia? Any Craigslist stories or odds of me getting killed?
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Would heavily advise against seeking anything sex related on Craigslist. At best, it's just spam. At worst, it's someone wanting to rob you as soon as you enter the shady motel in the ghetto neighborhood they're located in.

Besides, sex isn't all it's chalked up to be. Especially if it's just the sex, nevermind the fact it's awkward Craigslist sex. It will just leave a bad taste in your mouth (possibly in more ways than one) and mess you up further.

Don't turn to hookers or hook up sites for sex. Become an actual better person...
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>>17795532
Man fuck that shit, ive followed that advice for years and haven't gotten a fucking date
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>>17795534
Fuck what the other guy says. Just get yourself a good sense of humor and a sprinkle of arrogance. Then just talk to women online and offline until you can make them laugh.

How do I get enough NEETbux to live on my own and have decent Internet and utilities?
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>>17795516
you WORK u lil faggot
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>>17795545
I can't do that sorry. I need to know how to do it without working
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>>17795560
Why can't you work?

I really dont know what to talk with a chick. Please help me
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The best way to talk to a girl, or make small talk with anyone, is to ask them about themselves. What their line of work is, or what they're studying in school, what they like to do in their free time etc. and then go off whatever they say. That's how you make small talk.
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>>17795515

Depends on whether you mean any chick or a specific chick.
When getting to know a girl it's good to bring up a variety of topics and try to find common ground. Find out what they're into and what their hobbies are and express your own views on those things.
If it's a girl you already know a bit, then talk about things she finds interesting, ask about things she's mentioned in the past, bring up things you think she might find interesting based on the things she's spoken about, etc.

There's...
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>>17795522
Firstly, thank you. I do those things but at some point, i cant find anything to talk about. I know she likes me, and I like her. I'm usally good with people but when it comes to someone I like my brain suddenly doesnt work.

>>17795529
Thank you, She founds me interesting and I find her interesting but I cant find anything to tell her, I'm such a mess.

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I have been constantly feeling nauseous and like I am about to vomit during the last month. I am pretty sure that I haven't eaten anything bad. What do I do?
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>>17795494
Go see a doctor.
If you are female then congrats on your unplanned pregnancy.
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>>17795494
doctor here.

pls tell me:
age
gender
major illnesses in the past
onset and development of symptoms
recent travel
country you live
psychological stress?
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>>17795551
A 20 year old male viking who hasn't traveled within the last few years. The only sickness, and I am not sure if I may call it mayor, is pneumonia which I got a few years back.

The first thing that I noticed pretty recently before was that I got nauseous when exercising. It went away after a few months.

Right before this I only felt a bit like I was about to vomit. The symptom wasn't to noticeable, but it got worse as the time went. Apart from this I have been having a reoccuring problem...
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Girlfriend, with whom I was living for 2 and a half years, kicked me out of our appartment. I'm in the middle of battling cancer, have no savings, and no job. What do I do?
16 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17795410
What do you mean 'our appartment' if you are on the lease she cant just kick you out.
>>
>>17795417

I wasn't on the lease, but she guaranteed me it was "our home, not "her home"
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>>17795420
Your an idiot, always be on a lease in the future. Its your legal lifeline to exactly this type of shit.

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There's this girl who graduated from my school a couple years ago and has stayed local, she's relatively slutty but hasn't actually slept around much. We've seen each other a few times in the past couple months and we talk a little and laugh at each other's jokes and that's pretty much the extent of our interactions. How do I go about asking her to fuck? It's something I've wanted to do for a while and was always preoccupied.

tl;dr How do you ask someone for casual sex
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I wish i knew hahahaha
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You flirt with her and see if she responds. Get a bit tipsy and give her a compliment, tease her, try to get her in a huff a little bit. If she reciprocates, take it from there.

If not, that's your no. If she's not interested in sexually charged banter she's not interested in fucking. You don't just ask someone for sex, you gauge whether they're willing.
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Dont just ask, go out drinking with her or whatever. If she's a little slutty and likes you it will work out.

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Long story short, I only went to school for 5 days out of 47 in this semester due to depression (and being a fuck-up), so I now need to write a paper to the dean explaining why he should give a fuck to not have me expelled, due Monday at the latest. Any pointers? I'd really appreciate being pointed to a resource that can help with that.
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I haven't been in your situation before, but I think that getting backup from a doctor or counselor would make it much more effective. Firsthand accounts don't do well with administration.
>>
>>17795389
Yeah, I went to a doctor, but I'm really not sure I can get a paper from him due to, well, angering him. In any case, I'll try to get a paper, but I think it's best to not count on it.
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>>17795392
>fuck schools not fun, im depressed, ill just not go
>oh fuck they are going to kick me out, better go to my doctor
>woops i angered him too cause im a fuckup

theres a saying that i cant quite remember, something about a creek, some shit, and a paddle

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so i think someone i know killed someone else i know and got away with it. what are some signs i should look for? it was a husband and he killed his wife, or so i hypothesize. hes already cleaned most of her stuff out within a months time and also has a girlfriend now. could that be a sign? im not sure id be able to get any evidence to prosecute this person, but id rather not have this person in my life if im right.
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>>17795357
Because he has a new girlfriend and got rid of her shit doesnt mean hes a stone cold killer
>>
If you're not confortable with the person, no matter what she did or did not, you have all the right to distance yourself from that person.

About the murder thing... I wouldn't recommend investigating it if you're not with the cops... It might get YOU into some criminal activity.

About the signs, you should look for the ones connected with the killing m.o. If she was poisoned, check if he bought any poison the days before and so on... See why you should be a cop to do it?...
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>>17795369
you're fucking retarded. im asking for other signs because obviously there's more information that i know about the situation than you could ever know.

>>17795370
im not talking about getting someone justice, because i already covered that up in the op. i wouldn't have any evidence. im just trying to determine whether or not this person is acting suspiciously or not. the way he could've killed her would've been through essentially...
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Hello everybody.

I'm a clinical philosopher and psychologist who lives in Brazil. For those who don't know, the first title is for those who use philosophy as a way to help people's psique.

Anyways, I'm here offering myself to help out with any advice you might be needing. I'll probably be here for another two, three hours and I'll try to answer all the posts I see in that time.

Oh, all I ask from you guys is to leave a 'tl;dr' section at your post, or just try to keep it short!
28 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Sorry for the off-topic question, but how is your profession viewed there?
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>>17795361
No problem.
As a psychologist I'm well seen, the profession itself is. Gotta keep in mind that there's still a bit of prejudice about it, as it used to be related to crazy people. But it's all ok.

About the clinical philosopher profession, I don't think we're viewed at all hahaha. When I say I graduated on it, people always ask 'and what's it about?' or 'what is that?'.

Good thing both of them work well together.
>>
How can I leave a disintegrating friendship?

A friend and I were pretty close a while back. Lately, though, she seems annoyed by me talking to her and speaks briefly even when she's the one starting the conversation

Over the past year I've vented to her a lot about things that were going on. She was always really supportive, but I think my neurotic ways are taking their toll and she doesn't want to be dragged down anymore. I've tried to address that but she denied anything was wrong.

Problem is, we have a couple classes together and we...
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This is a weird one probably.

So this girl invited me to her birthday party. It's gonna involve quite a few drinks, lotta dancing and all that shit. The average stuff. Also her friends which I don't know at all.

In the past I've been always the type to avoid any sort of parties, because I've been a shut in for really long and that includes some social retardation up until a few years ago. Let's say I'm old enough for this kind of shit to even matter to me but since I have been always the kind not to like to get drunk (mainly because...
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>>17795284
You posted this exact question a few days ago. Didn't you like any of the answers you got then?
>>
OP, as someone who is just coming out of a shut in phase, I feel that the only way to get better at interacting with people is to just do it. Don't worry about being the life of the party, if you go and have one solid conversation with a stranger then you can consider it a win. Plus, booze usually helps with social anxiety.

As for the alcohol, just make sure you limit your intake. Dont have more than like 2 drinks an hour, one if you're really trying to stay sober, and try to drink water if you can.
>>
I don't get it why you think you'll embarass yourself...

On ur question, you point out that "In the past" you avoided those parties. Not now. You WERE a shut-in, not now. You WERE socially retarded, not now...

If you are afraid to get drunk, don't drink. I stopped drinking 3 years ago because it made me feel real bad, health issues (didn't get any disease, it just made me feel unhealthy). There's no problem in it, I have more fun than most because I'm sobber...

Anyways, I don't get the reason you fear embarassing...
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Help
Yesterday i started posting at 9am
Went sleep 4am of this day
Now its 9:16am and i'm already on the computer again
I don't remember last time i went outside to have some sun
I'm feeling real terrible, like a zombie
For the first months i would start to like lay in the chair like a vegetable like i couldn't stay here anymore. But after some time my body like used to it and i can sit here all these hours and only feel some weird shit in my ass and in my ass, like gravity
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It took me 9 minutes to write a post
>>
>>17795282
Go outside and make a short walk, every day. After a week or so, start socializing and becoming more active. Join a club, take up a course or get a job.
Anything that keeps you active and in direct contact with other humans works.

Godspeed anon.
>>
Go outside NOW.

It's really important that you do it in the present moment. If you really want to break that routine, you'll have to do it NOW.

Why? Because when you want something, you want it for a while. Sometimes it's hours, minutes, days, even years... But still, you want it for a while. You have to stand still on that 'wanting' so you can do it, and the longer you let time pass, the harder will be to maintain that will.

So, go out NOW, while you want it, because in an hour, you might be wanting to spend your life on pc, and...
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My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him. No matter what I said he believed other peope. That I don't even know. He believes everything everyone says except me.
I screenshot everything for him and send it to me and tell him everything.
But he still doesn't believe me. I showed him facebook messages and he seen the favorite bar and accused me of talking to those people. I only like they're posts.
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>>17795269
Get some fucking self-respect. Why do you want to waste your time with somebody who doesn't trust you?
>>
>>17795274
He always said he trusted me but every time he would always show signs that he doesn't. It wasn't wasting time to me. He knows I would never do anything he knows what I do when I do it.
>>
>>17795269
You want him back, but you're better off without a relationship with a guy who can't trust you.
You should accept the ticket out and learn to love yourself before entering another relationship.

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My gf has said she's fine with me having casual sex with other women, which I was really surprised by and asked if it was a joke or some kind of trick but she said she wants me to experience things, since she's had 6 partners and I've only had 2. She also doesn't want to go out and have sex with anyone since she's not very sexual at all. I'm really conflicted about it all. I know deep down I'd feel guilty about it but the other side of me is excited to be trying out sex with other people. I really don't know how to handle it all, I want...
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Protip: She's fucking other men
>>
Well, I believe that if you feel like doing it, you should. BUT IN NO OCCASION SHOULD YOU EVER TELL HER ABOUT IT.

I'm not sure if she's fucking other guys, but that's not a good way to look at it (at least not without some clues).
>>
>>17795259
This.

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Is it possible to alter/lower your standards for sexual attraction? I've literally never met or seen a person I wanted to have sex with, and I want to change that.
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>>17795253
Raise your test:
Fix your sleep
less fapping
exercise more
eat more protein
>>
>>17795256
I sleep as much as I can with my irregular work hours and get a decent amount of exercise at work, though walking, carrying and dragging stuff around 8 hours per day isn't exactly deadlifting.

What counts as masturbating? Any attempt to stimulate the genitals at all, achieving a state of arousal, or reaching orgasm?
>>
>>17795253
Are you sure it's because of your standards, and not your ideas about sex?

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>Growing up I was a normal kid.
>Normal everything
>A little poor but nonetheless normal
>My mother was a little slut that got knocked up at 16
>I was likely the product of rape due to her story I heard in my early 20's
>I was a smart kid
>Mother emphasized school and studying
>Grew up super nerdy but with all the charm...
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>>17795242
How does ingesting a high dose of Ayahuasca with shamanic guidance to help break your destructive cycles and reevaluate your life sound?
>>
>friend finds out 6 months later that I was diddling his kid sister
>I lose my entire friend group
>8 years of bonding down the drain
>I fall into a deep depression
>more so than whats the norm
>my mother put herself through college and graduates as a RN
>makes enough money to support me while I destroy myself
>stop talking...
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>>17795255
Wow man. Life is hard.

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Can any Australians here tell me what TAFEs like? Went to Uni once, but I hated doing academic write ups, don't think I could be a tradie though.
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>>17795234
Well what the fuck do you want to do? Uni is better for some things, tafe for others.
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TAFE is a college teaches you skills like hairdressing and hospitality staff. Hoping I got the right idea
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>>17795234
TAFE is shit. All the teachers are from India or speak very bad english. The course work is tough. Meaning there's lots to do and learn in a short amount of time. Lots and lots of drop rates due to the high filtering rates. Either keep up or get left behind.

t. guy who did a diploma in IT

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My relationship sucks right now. Give me a list of any kind things that you would like your girlfriend to do for you (real or imaginary).

I don't want advice to fix anything. Just a nice big list. I really want to go out of my way for him.
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Did you cheat on him?
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>>17795240
Of course not. I just want to put in some effort to get a spark back after fighting
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I dont know if a magic "to do list" will make everything better.
May i ask, why did u guys fight?
Was it you being dumb or something along those lines, so you want to compensate?

How do I deal with having a ridiculously high libido?

Basically I masturbate 2-4 days a week, but within those days maybe 3-6x. After each orgasm I either feel slightly relieved for a few hours/minutes, or even more horny and I just give up. My boyfriend has a high libido for a man (imo), but it's still never enough.

No matter how hard I cum I'm still going to be horny within an hour or two, horny to the point that if I sit down in a certain way my vaj actually will hurt.
Even when I don't masturbate for a long time, like a month, all it does...
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>>17795221

You might have a hormonal imbalance.
Too much testosterone will do that
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>>17795226
Yeah supposedly I do, I've been taking BC to help but really doctors haven't been too much help.
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>>17795221
While I only have bad experiences of sexologists, I'd definitely consider seeing one. Your gyno might also be able to help, or at least refer you to a sexologist

Hey, high libido is a drag. Many men have it, especially from adolescence into 20s. How old are you? Maybe it will pass with time. PS having hobbies and keeping yourself active/occupied helps tremendously imho.


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